I have watched and been encouraged and impressed by at least 25 videos down by the Marriage helper team. I think this one did the best job of explaining the situation, making me feel very understood, and I have a hopeful resolve to hang in there until the Limerence ends
It's hard to except, but waiting and making yourself better is the right move. I'm dealing with my wife's depression and it has always been the underlying problem. Right now she is not the woman I married, I know this. There is a beautiful good person in there, but she is going to have to fight for herself. All I can do is take care of me, and wait.
@RODRÍGUEZ PERALTA She's working on herself it seems. Her father passed now she sees all the damage he inflicted on her and her family. She knows she has a long way to go. She's a runner not a fighter. So who knows. I'm emotionally packed and ready for what ever happens.
I appreciate the advice, but honestly, and respectfully, I think it's not at all healthful. If you are willing to wait (for years even!) for your spouse to get over whatever they "are feeling" and then still take them back like some kind of second rate individual then you must either have very little self esteem or you are a victim looking for a way to sacrifice yourself completely (especially for the kids) just to keep the charade going. Life is too short and precious to waste with someone who doesn't respect you enough to be honest and tell you the truth. Even if it hurts. It's better to be honest and fair and, heck, if they love you at all they would agree that it is in your best interest and that despite whatever faults you may have you still are a worthy human being to at least be given a chance at a new love. Cheating on your spouse is a hurtful, inconsiderate, unfair thing to do. Even if you are to blame to some extent (which you probably are) then at least be brave enough to accept that fault and move on. Do not waste your life with someone who doesn't truly care for you. That goes for both parties, obviously! If you cheat then you are weak. You are an opportunist. You need to face reality and speak to your spouse about whatever is bothering you and, at the very minimum, give them a chance and a fair fight. Don't give me all this "oh, I was confused" nonsense. Because that is all that that is. Sorry for the rant, Doc.
It is a knowing choice to lust after another and show absolutely no love and care for their own family and spouse. They are selfish and think only of themselves. They allow it, they chose it, they respect no one in their lustful adventure.
Doc, u give them excuses to do wrong to their spouses, feeling can be controlled, they refuse to control because they want to have lustful fun, it is called adultery.
Every Person can decide For herself If she want to move on or If she want to save the marriage. A affair is a reason for a divorce, but its also a Chance for a better marriage in the Future. I cannot agree with you. Its Not about the waiting of your spouse. Its about the working on yourself. If you decide to divorce you even need to Work on yourself. Because if you do Not, you will Bring all your problems in the next relationship. And Most of the time IT will Not Work Out For a long time. So If a Person really loves His spouse, its worth to wait and to use the time to become the best version of himself.
I needed to understand why I all of a sudden became a horrible wife, person...he verbally abused me and altered a lot in my life. Sabotage any happiness and my career. He told me that he's miserable that I'm so happy...he started comparing me to someone and it hurt badly but I am ready for a divorce. He doesn't even talk to me but refuses to separate and leave the home. He really hurt me. I no longer know who he is. I'm not waiting for him to stop being a jerk. He destroyed our family and our marriage. This was a great video tfs
Loves of JBNeet it seems he might be having an affair, is in limerence and therefore he is vilifying you. Try to watch some of Joe Beams videos about limerence and see if you can relate. They truly become a different persone while they are in limerence for someone else...
Work on yourself, the PIES that is mentioned. It diverts your anger and frustration into positive energy. That's what you need right now. Become a better self. If he decides to see you in a better light as you change then you win. If he doesn't then you still win because you have become a positive better self. At that point if you stay or leave you will be more resilient and able to handle the situation. I am going through this for the past 4 months. The PIES was my answer.
My spouse says she doesn't love me anymore she doesn't even like me and she's having an affair, but in her mind it isn't an affair because we are not together anymore. I'm literally distraught.
My husband said this too, he doesn’t love me anymore and we are done so this relationship with his affair is justified but we are married, legally it’s an affair. The woman he is with is also married…
i recently found out that my wife is having an affair with another woman. She was a good wife who just suddenly turned bad. I am hurt of course because we're married for 12 years and got 2 kids. I understand her behaviour and are willing to work things out. One question though...what do I do if my wife still wanna have sex with me? Do I resist or play along with her emotions as to what she feels at that moment in time? Btw, this video was very educational and inspiring.
I tried your coach and he didn't know what to do either he said to do something or continue living the way i am. Not much help you give advise on your podcast in a few minutes more than he did in 3sessions , how cani talk to you?
That exactly happened to me. It's over a year utinll today. my husband still deined the cheating or relationship with his" boss." Mostly,he became hoslted hated me, after I told him about he with his"boss" during time the attitude. Later on he got less "talking to her" he started made up something to make me got angry and mad. Such in front of me looking other women or winking. He said I have imagined and crazy.
When a person says your crazy when you accuse them, I'm sorry, your suspicions are correct. Don't bother to try to get them to confess. Take inventory of yourself and get your thinking straight. Knowing what you want and expect gives you the confidence to make the right decisions for yourself. Be patient.
My spouse was sexting. No body contact that I know of. But nude pics and nasty text saying she doesn't love me totally blew my mind. She said don't know why she did it...
If you find out about the affair, should you have a conversation about it? Or you just sweep it under the rug and go work on your pies? This is confusing.
If your spouse is having an affair, practicing SMART Contact and working on your PIES is the first step to preventing your spouse from moving away from you any further! Over time, this will help to bring your spouse back to you, but you work on yourself for YOU. Once your spouse is willing to talk about more emotional conversations, THEN you can begin addressing the affair and how to move forward. We highly recommend working with one of our coaches though for this as they can help walk with you through the situation and give you feedback every week on exactly what you need to do! For more information about working with one of our coaches, you can follow this link to view pricing and coach availability! This will also let you see how to schedule a coaching session and you can even choose which coach you want to work with. Just follow this link to learn more! marriagehelper.com/coaching/
they have to get caught red-handed or they have sex, once sex is committed the spice and excitement dies off. 50% are platonic relationships and the other 50% leads into a physical affair
I replied...by book of hosea...did u chi ur sexual history of spouse before marriage... I know the system did. Not allow you... Try to make covenant for being fully open and trustworthy to you....so try to forgive for that....if else u replace him...but TRY TO REMOVE THAT EVIL FROM AMONG YOU....
Or they are not monogamously inclined and therefore something will ALWAYS be missing for them in a traditional relationship. Also, virtually all relationships will have something missing because no one is perfect and even if they appear that way for a time, people change (either party or expectations). The question is how does one deal with that. Infidelity is a very shity way to do it. Just leave before doing that. It is the least you could do for someone who you claimed to love at some point. Or propose an open relationship and maybe you get lucky and your spouse agrees.
What's missing is their own self control. To say something is missing, is to say the one cheated on is not doing something right, or, not good enough. No excuse for one to cheat!
I have watched and been encouraged and impressed by at least 25 videos down by the Marriage helper team.
I think this one did the best job of explaining the situation, making me feel very understood, and I have a hopeful resolve to hang in there until the Limerence ends
It's hard to except, but waiting and making yourself better is the right move. I'm dealing with my wife's depression and it has always been the underlying problem. Right now she is not the woman I married, I know this. There is a beautiful good person in there, but she is going to have to fight for herself. All I can do is take care of me, and wait.
Please update
@RODRÍGUEZ PERALTA She's working on herself it seems. Her father passed now she sees all the damage he inflicted on her and her family. She knows she has a long way to go. She's a runner not a fighter. So who knows. I'm emotionally packed and ready for what ever happens.
I appreciate the advice, but honestly, and respectfully, I think it's not at all healthful. If you are willing to wait (for years even!) for your spouse to get over whatever they "are feeling" and then still take them back like some kind of second rate individual then you must either have very little self esteem or you are a victim looking for a way to sacrifice yourself completely (especially for the kids) just to keep the charade going. Life is too short and precious to waste with someone who doesn't respect you enough to be honest and tell you the truth. Even if it hurts. It's better to be honest and fair and, heck, if they love you at all they would agree that it is in your best interest and that despite whatever faults you may have you still are a worthy human being to at least be given a chance at a new love.
Cheating on your spouse is a hurtful, inconsiderate, unfair thing to do. Even if you are to blame to some extent (which you probably are) then at least be brave enough to accept that fault and move on. Do not waste your life with someone who doesn't truly care for you. That goes for both parties, obviously! If you cheat then you are weak. You are an opportunist. You need to face reality and speak to your spouse about whatever is bothering you and, at the very minimum, give them a chance and a fair fight. Don't give me all this "oh, I was confused" nonsense. Because that is all that that is. Sorry for the rant, Doc.
It is a knowing choice to lust after another and show absolutely no love and care for their own family and spouse. They are selfish and think only of themselves. They allow it, they chose it, they respect no one in their lustful adventure.
Doc, u give them excuses to do wrong to their spouses, feeling can be controlled, they refuse to control because they want to have lustful fun, it is called adultery.
Yes best to move on from them. They are imature people. Unless your abusive or etc, then no reason to cheat.
Every Person can decide For herself If she want to move on or If she want to save the marriage. A affair is a reason for a divorce, but its also a Chance for a better marriage in the Future. I cannot agree with you. Its Not about the waiting of your spouse. Its about the working on yourself. If you decide to divorce you even need to Work on yourself. Because if you do Not, you will Bring all your problems in the next relationship. And Most of the time IT will Not Work Out For a long time. So If a Person really loves His spouse, its worth to wait and to use the time to become the best version of himself.
Btw he can have her...and she can have him. I just want her to come get him and his belongings. I deserve better
I needed to understand why I all of a sudden became a horrible wife, person...he verbally abused me and altered a lot in my life. Sabotage any happiness and my career. He told me that he's miserable that I'm so happy...he started comparing me to someone and it hurt badly but I am ready for a divorce. He doesn't even talk to me but refuses to separate and leave the home. He really hurt me. I no longer know who he is. I'm not waiting for him to stop being a jerk. He destroyed our family and our marriage. This was a great video tfs
Loves of JBNeet it seems he might be having an affair, is in limerence and therefore he is vilifying you.
Try to watch some of Joe Beams videos about limerence and see if you can relate. They truly become a different persone while they are in limerence for someone else...
Work on yourself, the PIES that is mentioned. It diverts your anger and frustration into positive energy. That's what you need right now. Become a better self. If he decides to see you in a better light as you change then you win. If he doesn't then you still win because you have become a positive better self. At that point if you stay or leave you will be more resilient and able to handle the situation. I am going through this for the past 4 months. The PIES was my answer.
My spouse says she doesn't love me anymore she doesn't even like me and she's having an affair, but in her mind it isn't an affair because we are not together anymore. I'm literally distraught.
Same here, how did it turn out?
My husband said this too, he doesn’t love me anymore and we are done so this relationship with his affair is justified but we are married, legally it’s an affair. The woman he is with is also married…
Please update
My question is why would a spouse feel guilty if the other spouse is cheating? Any answers would be greatly appreciated
Please post somrthing for walkaway wives, its so hard and always feel helpless.
Thank you for your suggestion!
What if he hasnt cut all communication with her?
Oh why do you ask? The only person you should be asking is your significant other?
@@juliequigley637nasty
Amen God bless from the Pies I ordered I learned to control in everything my anger think positive
I love your teaching
i recently found out that my wife is having an affair with another woman. She was a good wife who just suddenly turned bad. I am hurt of course because we're married for 12 years and got 2 kids. I understand her behaviour and are willing to work things out. One question though...what do I do if my wife still wanna have sex with me? Do I resist or play along with her emotions as to what she feels at that moment in time? Btw, this video was very educational and inspiring.
I wish my wife is having an affair with another woman so I can joy them. You are a lucky man.
Vinny, how did this affair play out? There's very little guidance on the web for a situation like this.
Very helpful. Sharing this vid to a friend 👍🏻
Thank you, Leyah!
I tried your coach and he didn't know what to do either he said to do something or continue living the way i am. Not much help you give advise on your podcast in a few minutes more than he did in 3sessions , how cani talk to you?
That exactly happened to me. It's over a year utinll today. my husband still deined the cheating or relationship with his" boss." Mostly,he became hoslted hated me, after I told him about he with his"boss" during time the attitude. Later on he got less "talking to her" he started made up something to make me got angry and mad. Such in front of me looking other women or winking. He said I have imagined and crazy.
Amazing!!!! Thank you!!!
But what is If the affair Partner will Always BE more handsome than my best Version?
My spouse is having an affair and is telling me I'm crazy..
mine did the same thing. till I recorded him talking to her. 😉
That My husband keep up said to me. He didn't believe What I told him about he how attitude was so wrong.
When a person says your crazy when you accuse them, I'm sorry, your suspicions are correct. Don't bother to try to get them to confess. Take inventory of yourself and get your thinking straight. Knowing what you want and expect gives you the confidence to make the right decisions for yourself. Be patient.
@@sroav7 they still deny the affair even when you catch them red handed over and over again.
Usually 2yrs. It goes on ....
My spouse was sexting. No body contact that I know of. But nude pics and nasty text saying she doesn't love me totally blew my mind. She said don't know why she did it...
She's probably really ready bored, keep the peace but you can't take her seriously, make yourself great and don't let ANYBODY put you down.
If you find out about the affair, should you have a conversation about it? Or you just sweep it under the rug and go work on your pies? This is confusing.
If your spouse is having an affair, practicing SMART Contact and working on your PIES is the first step to preventing your spouse from moving away from you any further! Over time, this will help to bring your spouse back to you, but you work on yourself for YOU. Once your spouse is willing to talk about more emotional conversations, THEN you can begin addressing the affair and how to move forward. We highly recommend working with one of our coaches though for this as they can help walk with you through the situation and give you feedback every week on exactly what you need to do! For more information about working with one of our coaches, you can follow this link to view pricing and coach availability! This will also let you see how to schedule a coaching session and you can even choose which coach you want to work with. Just follow this link to learn more! marriagehelper.com/coaching/
What about an emotional affair? How to stop it from crossing over into complete infidelity?
they have to get caught red-handed or they have sex, once sex is committed the spice and excitement dies off. 50% are platonic relationships and the other 50% leads into a physical affair
I replied...by book of hosea...did u chi ur sexual history of spouse before marriage...
I know the system did. Not allow you...
Try to make covenant for being fully open and trustworthy to you....so try to forgive for that....if else u replace him...but TRY TO REMOVE THAT EVIL FROM AMONG YOU....
That's your problem for picking that kind of man
So, I need to be patient and wait for this feeling to fade in my partners mind?
Hi, Gisela. Here is an article which may provide insight:
www.marriagehelper.com/7-ways-to-save-your-marriage
How do i contact you...ur very helpful
Amen!! Thank you God Bless 🙏
Hi. Can i have your email address or can i contact you thru other social media platforms? Where i can disscuss privately?
Hello! Please call us at 866-903-0990 or email us at info@marriagehelper.com so we can help.
People cheat because something is missing out of the marriage point blank!
Or they are not monogamously inclined and therefore something will ALWAYS be missing for them in a traditional relationship.
Also, virtually all relationships will have something missing because no one is perfect and even if they appear that way for a time, people change (either party or expectations). The question is how does one deal with that. Infidelity is a very shity way to do it. Just leave before doing that. It is the least you could do for someone who you claimed to love at some point. Or propose an open relationship and maybe you get lucky and your spouse agrees.
What's missing is their own self control. To say something is missing, is to say the one cheated on is not doing something right, or, not good enough. No excuse for one to cheat!
Don't all women have the same body parts