Beat OCD Tip #5 - Fight Compulsions not Obsessions

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  • Опубликовано: 24 авг 2024
  • Cambridge University study demonstrating that compulsions lead to obsessions: bit.ly/kZGREh
    To learn more about my recovery coaching services, send me a message through my website: www.markfreeman.ca
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Комментарии • 299

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 лет назад +82

    We can't control our thoughts, we can only control how we label them, or react to them. It helps to just see thoughts as thoughts. We label them as strange and then get upset about them being strange. But that's just an adjective. Thoughts are clouds floating over you. They only have meaning if you put meaning in them. So let them pass without judging them instead. That will free you to do what you need to do, instead of getting you to react to the thoughts. They're just brain indigestion.

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 лет назад +47

    With seemingly automatic mental compulsions, I found that learning meditation and mindfulness helped tremendously. It empowers you to keep your brain in the present instead of having it wander off to do compulsions. I also found it was helpful to learn how to embrace uncertainties. Seeking reassurance only leads to more anxiety, not less. So eliminating the need to reassure yourself can help remove the pressure to repeat compulsions.

  • @thespoon476
    @thespoon476 9 лет назад +55

    For me, "pure O" was just needing to figure things out and making sure I was doing the right thing or checking things mentally. None of these are physical actions, but all of these are reactions to try and check on, cope, or control anxiety and thus are compulsive behaviors. Hope that helps someone out.

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  9 лет назад +6

      Thanks for pointing that out!

    • @ogamiorama
      @ogamiorama 9 лет назад +8

      I totally get that, pure O is definitely a kind of OCD, the physical actions are less pronounced whereas trying to check, cope and control things by thinking really hard about them becomes the compulsion and the thought is that if I don't think about these things then I won't be prepared when things will get out of control or then I won't be able to avoid it, or then that is going to happen, or then that is part of who I am. It is incredibly stressful and at some points the compulsive thoughts sum up to a compulsive behaviour in the physical world that might even involve other people having to help you satisfy your compulsive behaviour. It's really screwed up to say the least...

    • @laceincission88
      @laceincission88 5 лет назад +1

      @@ogamiorama This is totally what Im going through now, no number of reassuring or rationalising with the compulsions help. And if i just decide to knock it off, it continues to linger around and shows up again. For how long could that even go on! :(

    • @MOHDASIF-vc1pn
      @MOHDASIF-vc1pn 4 года назад

      Can anyone help me because I am unable to identify an ocd thought and doubts

    • @haydermaha
      @haydermaha 2 года назад

      @@MOHDASIF-vc1pn you know if the thought is OCD or not, and the response to the thought, whether it's through a physical action or a mental process is the compulsion. You need to work on not doing this compulsion. It's too hard, then start small, such as only partially doing it, then aim to stop all together.

  • @wybuchowyukomendant
    @wybuchowyukomendant Год назад +9

    This is absolutely correct - with pure-o there are things that can 'itch' me at first glance, but I easily forget about them after a day or two when I don't give them attention.
    But if I go full Sherlock Holmes on them and try to figure out some "absolutely essential" thing, which is a way my compulsions work, then it will turn into intrusive thoughts and obsessions which can be soothed only by more 'figuring out'. And it's never enough figuring out :D

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  12 лет назад +12

    Totally normal OCD symptom: You're uncertain something might happen (you've labeled that something as "bad") and you're trying to be certain it won't. It might sound counter-intuitive but the best way to tackle this is to accept that it may happen or it may not. You can't be certain. Find a great professional that can help you learn how to accept anxiety and act according to your values instead of reacting to fear. By doing that, you'll teach your brain to stop throwing these anxieties at you.

  • @jonnybasso762
    @jonnybasso762 4 года назад +12

    you know......i dont know where i would be without advice and lessons from great people like you. id never thought i would struggle so hard in my life, so unnecessarly, and if it wouldnt be you and other people that put effort out in doing something like this, i would really struggle more, i would.
    Its not for granted that somebody does this, really not. thanks a bunch. really.

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  12 лет назад +7

    No, definitely not ignoring them. Trying to ignore thoughts quickly becomes a compulsion and tends to lead to more of those same thoughts, not fewer. Acceptance is about accepting the possibility that the thought might happen or it might not. It's about saying, "maybe", and being uncertain, instead of trying desperately to be certain. Acceptance is about recognizing that you are not your thoughts, that you can let them pass on like weather passing over your soul. You don't have to react to them.

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 лет назад +11

    I experienced the same thing. That's what inspired my video about "OCD Stockholm Syndrome". When we struggle with anxiety disorders, we fuel our lives with anxiety. Getting over the anxiety disorder is all about throwing out that fuel source and finding a new, healthier one. But it really is a strange feeling at first to not be anxious when you've spent your entire life practicing how to react to anxiety. But you really don't need it.

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 лет назад +12

    That's ok. It's helpful to shift from fighting obsessions/compulsions to pursuing health. Obsessions become such a dominant force in our life that one of the trickiest parts of recovery is learning that you can live without building your life around fighting compulsions. You don't have to be in this constant battle with OCD. That requires you to keep OCD around so you can fight it. You can just do healthy things. You don't need obsessions or compulsions.

  • @shadhenderson6000
    @shadhenderson6000 3 года назад +3

    I am for the first time ever now able to see my situation clearly. You have no Idea how much of help your content is to people. The only sad thing is, only a fraction of those who really need it get it. Sadly, most don't know there is help available.

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 лет назад +6

    What works for me really well is not doing anything to try to cope with, check on, or control uncertainty. With anxiety, we're often focusing on the past and our everything we do is all about reacting to that anxiety about the past, which just leads to more anxiety. I've found that a healthier approach is to fuel your actions with values and focus on the future. So it's not about reacting to the past but instead acting according to what direction you're moving forward in aligned with your values

  • @anuaethera
    @anuaethera Год назад +2

    Mark, hadn't it been for your videos, I'd have been so lost today, I recently got struck down by OCD again after a period of illness and major stress, although I had learnt from your videos ways to start recovery the last time around that I had it, I was failing to do it properly tihs time..this video of yours is just what helps me to become confident again, so luch love for you, take care🌻

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  Год назад +2

      It's an honor to be part of your adventures!

    • @anuaethera
      @anuaethera Год назад

      @@everybodyhasabrain 🌻🌼🌸💛🌸🌼🌻🙏🏻

    • @goodlooking6704
      @goodlooking6704 11 месяцев назад

      I wish I had gotten better 11yrs ago, when this video was posted... So I had wasted 10yrs of my life, and not 20. 😢 Thank you.

  • @ShockPopStudios
    @ShockPopStudios 9 лет назад +10

    you are AWESOME bro... your vids have helped so much

  • @joanaprifti1479
    @joanaprifti1479 4 года назад +2

    Thank you so much. I am fighting OCD. I have started some months ago, but I would stop it because some fear would come and I would give up. But now I am very determined. I have applied actually for just some days, not to react to any OCD signals, and not to do the same compulsion or actions I used to do because of OCD, that I am seeing such a big change. Is amazing, I feel great. Is just some thing that lately I am getting some discomfort in my body, like in my hands or fingers. I think it just needs time for the body to get used with the new situation of not reacting to the compulsions, hope so

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  12 лет назад +1

    See previous comment. Another thing I'd add to that is: it's okay to not feel "right". You have an exam coming, it's perfectly natural to feel anxious. Don't try to feel "right". Chasing that is what's causing the problems.Move forward and stick to your values. It can help to write out what your studying values are so whenever you get anxious, you can look at those values and say, Ok, I'm anxious now, but I value studying and not checking websites on the Internet, so I'm going to keep studying

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  12 лет назад +1

    Hi Sam. Tackle "Pure O" compulsions the same way you would if they were an overtly physical compulsion. Avoidance and rumination are actions. Rumination on a thought is similar to touching a thought. You can't control the thoughts that pop into your head, but you can control what you do with those thoughts. Instead of obsessing over the point, you can learn to accept them. I'd recommend a type of therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

  • @GUNSFOREVER1
    @GUNSFOREVER1 8 лет назад +2

    This is a super effective tip, no joke! I have anxiety and a take a similar approach by not fighting my anxious thoughts and keeping distracted. Days go by and I'm not as scared as I was!

    • @GUNSFOREVER1
      @GUNSFOREVER1 8 лет назад +6

      By distracted, i mean being productively busy

  • @markpalmar70
    @markpalmar70 3 года назад +1

    I rate this, all compatable with the ERP approach.

  • @garyianbritton
    @garyianbritton 11 лет назад

    Really good videos man. I'm a psychologist and my PhD was in OCD research. I have also suffered personally from OC symptoms for 20 years (thankfully not to a clinical level for the past decade). I thought these self help videos would be rubbish, but you talk a lot of sense.

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  12 лет назад +1

    Absolutely, thoughts aren't necessarily obsessions. They can be compulsions, too. Anything you do to try to cope with, check on, or control uncertainty is only going to lead to more anxiety and more unhealthy attempts to control, just like what you're describing.

  • @Ikaikiastar
    @Ikaikiastar 6 лет назад +1

    Mark you are such a legend. Thank you so much for sharing your OCD toolbox with us. This has helped me indefinitely xx

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 лет назад

    Thanks for your comments! Remember to cut out your compulsions in structured, progressive process--starting with the ones that cause the least anxiety, and building up to the ones that cause the most. Recovering from OCD follows a process similar to learning to run a marathon: you start small and as your strength and endurance improve, you keep pushing yourself to go further, while you make significant changes throughout your life to support that process. All the best on this journey!

  • @nothing1more487
    @nothing1more487 3 года назад +1

    Very informative video. Awesome attitude. This guy's a hero.

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 лет назад

    That's great you're starting therapy next week. Have fun with it! I had a compulsion that involved mirror checking as well, although I had to check in the mirror. Learning to not look when I got the urge to was just part of recovering, I also had to learn to not judge or label. Labelling something as "unflattering" is also a compulsion you can unlearn. Happy unlearning!

  • @Amy-os1ry
    @Amy-os1ry 5 лет назад +5

    Can re watching your videos be a compulsion? I find myself coming back to them over and over to reassure myself that I know what is happening to me and that I will eventually be ok.

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  5 лет назад +4

      Yes, that's a common compulsion. It's a great opportunity to practice trusting yourself. You know what to do and how to handle the stuff your brain and the world throw up.

  • @coldbloodisback
    @coldbloodisback 12 лет назад

    All right. Thank you for the quick and helpful response. My brother is a general physician and I will ask him to refer me to some of his friends who've specialized in psychiatry/professional counselling . Btw I have subscribed to your channel and please bring more videos .It is a relief to know that I'm not alone and there are people around the world who suffers from this condition, that other people consider as a silly:(

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 лет назад

    1) Very common for people with OCD to be bothered by body parts, sounds, etc. 2) It's highly unlikely it's not your only compulsion. Work with a professional to identify the others. Cutting out the others first might be the best route to take. It's generally not a good idea to start with what's bothering you the most. 3) As long as you keep reacting to it (checking or avoiding), your brain is going to keep obsessing about it. Whatever your brain says, agree with it, but then do the opposite.

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  12 лет назад

    Getting over anxiety disorders takes time. It's just like improving your physical health--you can't do it over night. BUT, since it sounds like going on websites is triggering lots of your anxieties, I'd suggest you study in a place with no Internet. And when your brain throws those thoughts at you about being confused, instead of fighting them, just accept them. Fighting them only makes them worse. They're just weather in your brain. Don't chase after clouds or let them run your emotions.

  • @marcoa.gaiotto6195
    @marcoa.gaiotto6195 Год назад +3

    That is: stop trying to relieve the anxiety, feel it. It will feel terrible at the beginning, but once the anxiety level reaches the peak, it will start reducing.
    We may think that it's too much and we can't deal with it. But we can.

  • @IceveinsProductions
    @IceveinsProductions 7 лет назад

    I thought I had Pure O for years because I didn't engage in obvious compulsions like hand washing, lock checking, cleaning rituals etc etc. Then I realized, I in fact had many mental compulsions, as well as some lesser obvious physical ones. In my head I would try to recite a song line or movie line to counteract an intrusive thought or try to mentally debate them. My physical compulsions were very slight. When an uncomfortable thought would arise I would take a deep breath or say something random out loud or close my eyes or start fidgeting or bite my nails and so on. Since watching your vids I realized my compulsions were less conspicuous but wrote a list of all of them and have began to pay much more attention to them, especially the mental compulsions.

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  7 лет назад

      IceveinsProductions That's great you're tackling them. Cutting out those subtle compulsions is something I've found really useful for building and maintaining long-term recovery.

  • @hifi8844
    @hifi8844 5 лет назад +2

    Same can be said for gad. Dont respond less anxiety

  • @SailorMiMi770
    @SailorMiMi770 12 лет назад

    thanks! I'll be sure to! Your videos have already really helped me!

  • @boogiefever1985
    @boogiefever1985 11 лет назад

    Thanks Mark! The only other thing I can think of is that I refuse to look at myself in the mirror unless I can be sure I will not catch a glimpse from an unflattering angle. I also hate looking at anyone who may be judging my appearance or my partners appearance. All related. Thanks for your kind advice. Therapy starts next week

  • @mishmish2343
    @mishmish2343 7 лет назад

    OMG I have watched like 10 videos of urs today I cant get enough

  • @sissi9100
    @sissi9100 2 месяца назад

    I don’t have OCD, or I’ve never been diagnosed with it at least. I remember sometimes when I was younger I’d think that I need to do something in order to not let bad things to happen, for example; when I’d fake shoot my brother with my finger I’d do it again but downwards to not attract bad things. Anyways, recently I’ve been having an existential crises with the whole religion world, it’s just so confusing. There is one religion which I don’t want to mention the name of it but I’ve been fearing it’s hell, and whenever I’d get this anxiety I’d search up things that debunk a part of it to get some sort of ‘relief’ but I realised this relief is just temporary. I’m going to be trying this method of fighting compulsion by giving myself a challenge to not research stuff about this religion at least up till Saturday, I feel like it’s going to be hard but I feel like if I don’t do this things aren’t going to change and I’ll end up spending this whole summer vacation worrying about this topic. I’ve already tried to not respond to my urges but gave up fast, but I’ve had enough now that I just want to put and end to this so I will try/my best to not give in this time.
    In order to stay consistent, I will put my progress under this comment
    Day 1: ✅ It wasn’t that hard but my anxiety went up and throughout the day, I also decided to do exposure therapy so that I face the triggers without feeling the need to do the compulsive behaviours.
    Day 2:
    Day 3:
    Day 4:
    Day 5:
    Day 6:

  • @franciscoguevara9727
    @franciscoguevara9727 6 лет назад +1

    I only get obsessions, sometimes i have had compulsions. But my doctor diagnosed me with ocd. I too wish that i had to fight the urge to flick a light switch or something. Some of my compulsive behaviour might be excessive social media. Including youtube. But i definetly dont see a relationship between my excessive social media usage and my obsessions, if it would be that simple, i'd be really happy. I also am coming here a lot of the time of the day to watch videos about overcoming ocd. It gives me hope, and a plan of action. I wouldnt have known about ACT which is good for the obsessions, if it weren't for these videos. But if this is affecting me and giving me more obsessions then its time to tell it good bye.

    • @franciscoguevara9727
      @franciscoguevara9727 6 лет назад

      @mark freeman do you think compulsive social media has anything to do with my obsessions?

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  6 лет назад

      People can engage in compulsions online just like anywhere else. You would know better than me how you're using social media.

  • @stephaniemoura9325
    @stephaniemoura9325 3 года назад

    That is so true, I thought I had Pure O, because what makes me more anxious are my thoughts, but it was only earlier on today watching one of your videos that I realised I have compulsions that j didn't even know we're compulsions just because they are not important or don't make me feel bad, for example I always use to check if the door is locked just after locking the door, I would hide objects of value if I was going to expend day or night away from home thinking in case the house was invaded or something, and all this was before the Intrusive thoughts even started to make me anxious

  • @starletdawn6624
    @starletdawn6624 5 лет назад

    Thank you so much for this, I really needed this information for my O.c.d much love 💖

  • @stefanjezdic3157
    @stefanjezdic3157 3 года назад +1

    Thank you so much for the videos! ❤️

  • @Soup4Dayz
    @Soup4Dayz 4 года назад

    A book I read recently had a chapter on OCD and the number one thing it had to say was "the only way to combat OCD is to focus on the presence of an OCD attack itself rather than the contents or triggers of the attack"

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  4 года назад +1

      Yeah, the content is really just whatever will trick people into reacting with compulsions.

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 лет назад

    Trying to figure out exactly what's going on is a common compulsion but it really doesn't impact what you need to do to get healthy. Just do the healthy things you need to to do instead of devoting time to the illness.

  • @SailorMiMi770
    @SailorMiMi770 12 лет назад +1

    thank you so much!

  • @KamiLYep
    @KamiLYep 11 лет назад

    thanks for the effort to help.

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 лет назад

    You're welcome!

  • @WiWillemijn
    @WiWillemijn 6 лет назад +1

    1:14 ive experienced that once
    That was gooood

  • @christinagreaves7932
    @christinagreaves7932 4 года назад +1

    Thankyou

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 лет назад

    If approaching it like that helps, run with it. Beating OCD definitely involves a lot of brain retraining.

  • @sheyanderson9498
    @sheyanderson9498 2 года назад

    I'm still fighting Mark

  • @zarcon42
    @zarcon42 10 лет назад +15

    I have POCD and been dealing with that for 6 months now...I wish I only had to flick light switches and wash hands.

    • @zarcon42
      @zarcon42 9 лет назад +2

      +«♡Winter Starligh♡» i beleive you...
      It taken s long time now but after 2 years it getting bettet...talk to those tha t know and love you...

    • @jacobshapiro5074
      @jacobshapiro5074 6 лет назад

      zarcon42 I have OCD and it's not just flipping light switches and washing hands. I have...very odd mental rituals and stuff...i believe that what you have SUCKS. But please don't undermind OCD.

    • @WitchChangkyun
      @WitchChangkyun 6 лет назад

      zarcon42 I had POCD for a couple weeks and it was horrible - very sorry you’re going through that. Unfortunately, the OCD moved to harm ocd which I’m struggling with right now :(

    • @taylorjardine11
      @taylorjardine11 5 лет назад

      yeah you wish...

    • @Alexander-iq5yq
      @Alexander-iq5yq 5 лет назад

      If you only knew...

  • @gingerisevil02
    @gingerisevil02 6 лет назад

    I think pure "o" is more things like "counter thoughts." (Therapist thought that would be helpful. Ugh. Nope.) And suppressing my thoughts and feelings, and trying to find a solution. And reassuring myself "no they're not thinking that" and resisting my thoughts. My compulsions aren't visible till I'm out of control.

  • @kidsundance9021
    @kidsundance9021 3 года назад

    I just CAN'T stop

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  3 года назад

      But you CAN!

    • @kidsundance9021
      @kidsundance9021 3 года назад +1

      @@everybodyhasabrain sometimes. Thank you for the reply man. I'm trying, I hope one day to stop being a slave of my brain

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  3 года назад +1

      @@kidsundance9021 This moment is a very good moment to get your brain following you!

  • @chad4149
    @chad4149 8 лет назад

    this is very helpful.

  • @samodonnell8238
    @samodonnell8238 12 лет назад

    Then with the sleeping I obsess over the point just before you fall asleep. I obsess so much that I rarely reach this point. I have attacked my avoidances including putting off sleep, but the more I persevere the more scared and sleepless my nights. I have no idea what to do really and really appreciate some advice. I have no physical compulsions such as counting, checking, washing just avoidance and mental rumination.

  • @Alexander-iq5yq
    @Alexander-iq5yq 5 лет назад +1

    I have contamination OCD, focusing on asbestos. If I stop the compulsions, I will feel like I've exposed myself to it and likely caused myself die 20 years earlier than I should. That's such a hard thing to do. I think it would be experienced almost like a form of suicide.

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  5 лет назад

      I found it very useful to work on my fears of death. That's what it's actually about, not contamination or asbestos. That just happens to be the way the brain is worrying about death. So it's actually very useful that you can see it's a fear about death. That opens up the possibility to make changes around beliefs and judgments that are interfering in your life. There are better things we can do with life than spend it trying to control death.

    • @Alexander-iq5yq
      @Alexander-iq5yq 5 лет назад

      @@everybodyhasabrain Is there anything you would recommend that could help me work on my fear of death? I believe you that my fear of death itself (dying early in particular) is the real issue, but I don't know where to begin. I tried looking for any philosophy about it online, but came up with nothing particularly meaningful.

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  5 лет назад

      @@Alexander-iq5yq I find it useful to shift the focus to living. You want to live your life. So do that. In any moment, you can notice uncertainty that comes up and you can make a choice about how you spend your time and energy and you can live your life NOW

  • @tvboylx5995
    @tvboylx5995 12 лет назад

    Thank you this is helping me

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  12 лет назад

    You're welcome! Thanks for watching! If there's any other topics you'd like me to cover, just let me know.

  • @marouaneidmansour8276
    @marouaneidmansour8276 Год назад

    Focusing on Actions, is it behaviorist?! Like there is some clear distinction in the human reality between doing and thinking ?! A depressed person can act normal for a long time, and everybody gets surprised when they hear some tragedy afterwards... How are Actions more insightful than discussions ?! Not saying the reverse case is better, but it is a dilemma, talking also is not a guarantee of changing or improving?! How do you reason those two edges, and walk a beautiful meaningful insightful line between the two?! Is there any synthetic endeavours worth knowing about ??

  • @shyamendrasharma5658
    @shyamendrasharma5658 9 лет назад

    thanx a lot sir

  • @gillian2259
    @gillian2259 4 года назад +1

    Thank u for..😊

  • @SuzanneCheung
    @SuzanneCheung 7 лет назад

    I stop by blocking out the people's made me obsession. I had angry and resentful to them.

  • @Cyclops4770
    @Cyclops4770 11 лет назад

    I get some anxiety actually getting these tips from you, eh, I guess the reasons for some anxieties are so stupid I should forget it. I feel like I should figure this critical thinking from many angles for myself- the overthinker reachig analysis paralysis.

  • @SAILAJtej
    @SAILAJtej 11 лет назад

    thanxxx a lot.................u helped me a lot

  • @Cyclops4770
    @Cyclops4770 11 лет назад

    Doing the opposite; do you know about Viktor Emil Frankl? That is exactly what he proposed and called it Paradoxical Intention; once we realise what we do is without rationality, the anxiety about it and obsession subsides.

  • @MrJMont21
    @MrJMont21 11 лет назад

    Don't. OCD is not needed. If you need to know any more, it will only make you suffer.

  • @emmamorton12
    @emmamorton12 11 лет назад

    The theme of OCD I suffer from most is ROCD.. The compulsion I do is repeating my boyfriend's name over and over in my head to try and feel happiness to reassure me that I love him. How do I stop repeating his name in my head!? I just do it naturally because it's become a habit..

  • @V-man117
    @V-man117 Год назад

    How can I make my brain understand that the stuff that it freaks out about are stupid and can't happen. I feel like my brain is gaining independence from me and feels whatever it wants. It's just panicks and brings in so much anxiety

  • @MrPorkered
    @MrPorkered 10 лет назад

    Hi Mark I also have same problem as John Ross. Recently, I have a really really bad ocd which is straining my eyes and not relaxing because bad things REALLY do happen when I relax. When I told myself to relax one night and stop squeezing my eyes which are the two rituals I perform every minute, something really bad happened. I saw bed bugs on my bed and I fear bed bugs and never seen them before. Its like I am cursed when I do not perform these two rituals. Its gottten really bad now and I have really dark eye circles and big eye bags because I did not relax for months. Relaxing is like a taboo for me.

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  10 лет назад +5

      Well, here's the reason you need to move forward: Something IS happening and it's called OCD and it will eat up your life while you try to avoid things that MIGHT happen. It was helpful for me to recognize that I was letting something terrible happen everyday when I gave in to the possibility that something else terrible might happen. You already know what OCD is doing. It's not something that might happen. It is happening. Tackle the thing that is happening in the present. You can't control the future or the past, but you can do something about the present.
      Things can happen. It's the nature of things. While I was doing therapy, an incredibly random series of coincidences just happened to line up in such a way that one of my fears came true in a way I hadn't even imagined was possible, and that set me back a couple of weeks in therapy. I had to do a bunch of ERP exercises over again because I went back to some old compulsions as a reaction to the event. That can happen. So it was great that I was working with a therapist at the time that kept me moving. Since you're seeing the negative effects of OCD in your life, try to access therapy in your area if you can. A therapist that's experienced with OCD recovery could help you learn how to stop the compulsions and accept that things happen, and you can deal with them.
      I hope you're able to learn how to accept these possibilities and give yourself the gift of relaxation and peace.

  • @indrakamalyadav2921
    @indrakamalyadav2921 6 лет назад

    I will stop the compulsions

  • @nieevejackson8930
    @nieevejackson8930 9 лет назад

    Thankyou so much

  • @JamesBentham-ig2ir
    @JamesBentham-ig2ir 11 месяцев назад

    I dont do my ocd to feel safe its just a compulsion....I came here for help and it doesn't make sense I have no fears just complusuons....basically ots up to me to top myself...I've watched six vids not one actually helped even a bit

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  11 месяцев назад

      That's great, though. There'll be no issue with cutting out the compulsions then. Or, when you try to cut them out, do you experience some feelings you find difficult?

  • @claudemackaleny9520
    @claudemackaleny9520 Год назад +2

    When was the last time you have suffered from ocd?

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  Год назад +2

      More than a decade. All of the new videos I'm uploading this year are to celebrate 12 years of recovery and share tips on what helped with ditching mental illness and sustaining that. Here's the most recent one on how to measure progress with recovery: ruclips.net/video/kcGbgPnlrTQ/видео.html

    • @claudemackaleny9520
      @claudemackaleny9520 Год назад +1

      @@everybodyhasabrain so u didn’t suffer from any ocd intrusive thought at all in over a decade?

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  Год назад +2

      @@claudemackaleny9520 No. Do you understand that intrusive thoughts are compulsions? They depend on us judging and labeling and hating on thoughts and trying to control them. It's like judging thoughts as contamination. If your goal is to clean away the bad thoughts/contamination, then it's only natural to experience more of the contamination. You can also see that intrusive thoughts are actually compulsions in the fact that other people could have the same thoughts you hate and not see it as a problem or react to them. Or maybe you've noticed that other people struggle with thoughts about different topics that don't trouble you at all. Because it's not about the thoughts. It's about our beliefs and judgments and compulsions we practice in our heads. The great thing is, those are totally changeable!

  • @patricksmith7529
    @patricksmith7529 6 месяцев назад +1

    Hi mark hope youre good, just wondering do you have any advice for resisting compulsions? Sometimes i think its better to do the compulsion as it would help me? Like doing it will be good? And its hard to resist the temptation at times? Thanks a lot

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  6 месяцев назад

      I don't have any new tips to share that are different from the previous times you asked. There isn't some secret way around uncomfortable feelings. Repeatedly searching for this is just more of the compulsions.

  • @linus430
    @linus430 2 года назад

    Is it not bad to judge compulsions as bad? It becomes a compulsion for me to stop compulsions

  • @jacobshapiro5074
    @jacobshapiro5074 6 лет назад

    Thanks you. My OCD is very very off. It dosnt even make sense to itself. Like, I feel like if I don't close the shades at night, someone in a whole other household will get hurt.

  • @ambreennaz3541
    @ambreennaz3541 4 года назад

    I can't...whenever I try to avoid my compulsion a voice comes from my brain threatening me about my baby ...." what if something is wrong you or baby is in danger " then I start reacting on....compulsions compulsions 😢

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  4 года назад +1

      You can cut out the compulsions. Of course it's difficult at first so it helps to start with other compulsions that don't trouble us as much and build up. It's just like learning any skill. If you want to run a marathon, make sure you first have the skill to run a mile. And then grow from there!

  • @marouaneidmansour8276
    @marouaneidmansour8276 Год назад

    How do you distinguish one from another?! How do you make sure that there are no sur-interpretative processes that would mix one with another, especially in relation with diversity of instances in people's private lives. (Rigidity of concept vs. fluidity of life) ?!

  • @chad4149
    @chad4149 8 лет назад

    I am constantly from the moment I wake up doing compulsions and I know thia is wrong to them because they feed my very bizarre thoughts like because I take a pill my sister who is along came a spider and sat down beside her an association disorder and I hvae images clear as daylight though some I fuzz out.I fear most tarant IM sure u know the word they come from the Amazon rainforests,But I keep thinking theyre in the house but I unwantingly have them flash through my brain but I find it hard to not react as if it were real.I take anti pschotics and have been hospitalised 3 times a range of drugs don t hep some anti depressants do.But with this disorder you must fight.Telling yourself you didn t chose that thought.I have another one to do with outer space.If I could say the wod but I can cos it s the cosmos which contains all matter.

  • @samodonnell8238
    @samodonnell8238 12 лет назад

    @everybodyhasabrain Hi. I suffer from Pure O OCD. It involves intrusive thoughts regarding breathing, sleeping, swallowing and blinking. I get uncontrollable urges to breathe and swallow and blink, they feel similar to tics. Then. I worry about the damage and fatigue and dizziness it causes.

  • @ccrydurrr2958
    @ccrydurrr2958 8 лет назад

    Hi Mark.I have been struggggling with OCD for about 30 years.I enjoy your videos,hoping a "light" will go off one day on my quest to break the chains of this God-awful dis-EASE!!!One question.....What's up with all the post-its behind you?

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  8 лет назад

      +Charles Clementz Post-it notes have all sorts of wonderful uses!

  • @funkyshade
    @funkyshade 7 лет назад

    What is the best thing I could do when confronted with someone I've developed a lot of fear for? I see this person every day, and I'm not sure how to deal with it in the moment itsself, because it's so "in your face".

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  7 лет назад

      I'm not sure this is the way I would approach something like this so I can't offer you any tips.

  • @boogiefever1985
    @boogiefever1985 11 лет назад

    If I look at my partner's face from the side I can see the bump in her nose. This is the only thing I am obsessed with. I feel very uncomfortable when I see her from this angle. Am I supposed to not look and focus on other things or am I supposed to expose myself too it as much as possible. I feel like I am either constantly checking it to see if it has improved, or avoiding looking at it all together. SO CONFUSED what to do.

  • @Nihalshanu22
    @Nihalshanu22 3 года назад +1

    What is i can't stop not reacting?

  • @alexzt3983
    @alexzt3983 10 лет назад +1

    Mark , I am trying but what if really something will happened if I stopped the compulsions ? what I need to hear that those compulsions are unnecessary

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  10 лет назад +5

      That's the uncertainty that everybody has to embrace to get over this. Something might happen or something might not happen.

  • @Kikuye
    @Kikuye 11 лет назад

    You know what's ironic (or not) my anxiety tells me it'd be really terrible not to be anxious...Like, it NEEDs to be there and would feel really WRONG if I didn't. Messed up, I know...kinda. As it stands when I do something that I don't feel anxiety in actually causes anxiety once I realize I feel "okay" and it's so foreign =P

  • @anormalguy91
    @anormalguy91 Год назад

    Hi Mark, i've found i have a lot of mental compulsion like constantly checking what I feel and then judge it bit i don't know how not to do that. If i try not to do that, i'm just doing it. Any suggestion? You're a very beautiful human

  • @NYRfan4ever
    @NYRfan4ever 10 лет назад

    Your videos are Awesome!!
    As it pertains to this video...How would you apply this to someone who has OCD with their phone and new electronics i.e. perfection of operation, cleanliness, and things of that nature. Thanks in advance

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  10 лет назад

      Thanks. Along the same lines as I mentioned in the comment on the YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS video: Whatever compulsions you're engaging in as a reaction to worries about perfection, cleanliness, or whatever, you would stop those. When stopping compulsions I always recommend following a structured plan, starting by cutting out the easiest ones and working your way up to the more difficult ones to eliminate.

  • @ambergray4168
    @ambergray4168 7 лет назад

    hi, thanks for the video. My ocd seems unlike typical ocd because there is no fear of anything bad happening. Ive never had that in 45 years of severe ocd. Its just that when i ignore a compulsion its like someone holding a taiser on me. I cant bear it, and so far ir has never got to that stage where its supposed to get easier. Cbt, exposure, hpnosis never worked. My hardest issue is that i cant hold pens. Pens remind me of something (cant say what, its too difficult) and icant get past this. But there are ahundred things i cannot bear also. I was an artist, i also loved journallng and calligraphy, but havent touched a pen or pencil in 2 years now. Its destroyed my life.
    I cant take meds anymore due to serious permanent side effects they caused. 25 years on high doses created irreversible issues. What on earth do i do?

  • @suraj79848
    @suraj79848 5 лет назад

    means i can think anything about checking but should try to stop doing checking? am i right?

  • @coldbloodisback
    @coldbloodisback 12 лет назад

    I have OCD and the recurring thought is that I want to check and recheck the spelling of my name on my Identity card and the other accounts. I am scared that the certificate I am going to get after my graduation may contain the wrong spelling of my name and thus create problems in my future career . Pretty wierd,I know. But it sometimes drive me to the point that I don't want to live in this world anymore .I am so desperate to get rid of this extremely annoying condition . Please help . Please

  • @Fiftytrifty
    @Fiftytrifty 5 лет назад

    Hello Sir Can You Please Say Me How To Fix Somatic Ocd

  • @LetJesusTouchUrLife
    @LetJesusTouchUrLife 11 лет назад

    Thanks so much for this. I just overcame a compulsion that might not seem significant to many people but to me, it is. I just had a major anxiety attack, but I'll be okay. It's the road to recovery. Jesus Christ is my Rock, and I can do all things in Him.

  • @thelady001
    @thelady001 11 лет назад

    How can I distinguish between a compulsion and when something actually needs to be done? I'm feeling anxious about something that recently happened, but I don't know if it's an actual ERP opportunity, or if I need to really respond and fix it. I understand the "weather over your soul" concept, but this feels like it would be a tropical storm that would last for a really long time (again). I'm already starting to feel depressed again. Do you have any thoughts or insight on this?

  • @gingerisevil02
    @gingerisevil02 6 лет назад

    What if the compulsion is avoidance? Idk what's healthy verses unhealthy avoiding.

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  6 лет назад +1

      This is why it helps to articulate some values in life. What do you want to do? Then you can see very clearly when the avoidance is a compulsion. If you're avoiding something that's on your path to reaching your goals and the things you care about in life, then it's a compulsion that's going to make you miserable over the long-term even if it seems necessary in the short-term.

    • @gingerisevil02
      @gingerisevil02 6 лет назад

      Mark Freeman thanks that helps I'll look into that more! Sorry idk how to turn my Facebook notifications on so I have to check (I don't think this form of checking is OCD though lol. I just find your input helpful but I'm not tech savvy!) I've been wracking my brain over "right verses wrong" avoidance lately.

  • @WiWillemijn
    @WiWillemijn 6 лет назад

    1:58 what do you mean by tool set?

  • @whufc41
    @whufc41 11 лет назад

    Hi mark. I have an ocd with putting rubber washers in when fixing gas meters at work. I panic I haven't put them in and can end up undoing them and redoing it over and over. The thing is I know I have done it but I can't help but think what if. From this video do you suggest I just trust myself and fight worry. Thanks. Alan

  • @alizeinaldeen2784
    @alizeinaldeen2784 4 года назад

    Hey Mark, your videos are fantastic! I wanted to ask if mentally checking or calling on past memories to check them in my mind is labeled as a compulsion. I have Relationship OCD and I always recall past events when my wife talked to a guy or hang out with her male friends and keep checking every detail I've once asked her about.

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  4 года назад +1

      I would definitely see that as a compulsion. You can see the results of it already! Compulsions are very easy to spot. They don't change based on the topic. Checking something in the past is always going to create more uncertainty and anxiety. It's only ever going to teach your brain to doubt it and search for new uncertainties to check and doubt.

    • @alizeinaldeen2784
      @alizeinaldeen2784 4 года назад

      @@everybodyhasabrain Thanks for this informative reply!

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  4 года назад

      @@alizeinaldeen2784 You're welcome!

  • @AshleyComptonAMC
    @AshleyComptonAMC 6 лет назад

    Hi Mark, your videos and book are both excellent. I love them. You really understand how the mind works.
    I am trying to take all of the information in to overcome my OCD but I had one question. If I am stuck in the middle of a compulsion, for example, I like to do things in numbers. If I have done something twice in the compulsion and my OCD wants me to do it five times, but it's taking up much of my time and energy, do I just stop doing the compulsion even if I haven't finished the whole ritual? So if I have checked something two times but my OCD is saying to check five times, should I just stop as soon as I can even if I haven't checked five times? I hope this makes sense.
    Thanks.

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  6 лет назад +4

      Thanks, Ashley! Yes, you can always walk away from a compulsion. This is actually a really useful practice to explore. This is what I was talking about in the Mind Workout when I was saying that in any moment, we can take a step that's aligned with our values. To keep going with the compulsion after you've noticed is like noticing that you're lost in the woods and then choosing to make yourself more lost. The moment we notice we're going in a direction we don't want to go in, we can stop and change direction. That will feel very challenging and that's one of the reasons it's useful to work on. When I would do something like stop a compulsion part way through, it really felt like my brain was trying to jump out of my head to go and do the compulsion. But this when we get to make our brains squirm and show them who is in charge. Our brains are like little kids we're babysitting. When we give the kids two cookies and they demand five, we have to be able to not get bullied by the little kids. You're in charge of your brain. It's not in charge of you.

    • @AshleyComptonAMC
      @AshleyComptonAMC 6 лет назад +2

      Thank you for the fast reply.
      Damn, thanks so much. I like the analogies! I agree, it can be very tough when stopping compulsions half way through but now I know it's the best thing I can do if I have started a compulsion, I'll try even harder to not let them get to me.
      But yeah, your book and videos really seems to understand how the mind works so thank you for that.
      Keep up the amazing work. :)

  • @colinpatrick2729
    @colinpatrick2729 3 года назад

    What are the most common compulsions in somatic breathing ocd

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  3 года назад

      That usually involves lots of checking feelings/physical sensations and trying to control things to get them "right". BUT it can really help to look beyond the symptoms you find problematic and consider patterns of controlling and checking throughout our lives. For example, if somebody has lots of things they like to do "right", or they really like to control things, and they just see that as "part of my personality", it can really help to see that those are the same compulsions that fuel the somatic breathing challenges. The brain is just being logical. If we need to check and control stuff throughout our lives, then it's just helping us by trying to check and control this really big and important thing. So working on somatic breathing compulsions can often involve making changes around checking and control throughout our lives.

  • @Joethebro101
    @Joethebro101 2 года назад

    Mark, I think this is great. But how do you deal with the obsessions that seem so real? And how do you deal when sometimes it actually comes true?

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  2 года назад +1

      But something coming true wouldn't be an excuse to do compulsions. That would only make things worse!

  • @ryantan2936
    @ryantan2936 11 лет назад

    Hi mark,
    is it very absurd to have strange thinking enforcing in my mind, to the extend of imagine thing out of nowhere?
    It really sound crazy, make me worry, but I couldn't control myself of thinking the same thing again and again to make me feel better