Yes, use the most egotistical and power hungry people and extrapolate their way of being to the rest of the population throughout history. Absolute bollocks.
It has nothing to do with power and all to do with wanting to know who the father was. Even as a bastard the kid of the king would have been rich and powerful.
@@iziiadouNo they wouldn't have any claim to the throne. Historically it wasn't uncommon for royals to have children outside marriage but none of them are in the line of succession.Feb 28, 2023
It wasn't just the most egotistical and power hungry, it was the common man. Common men sought out sex workers, engaged in affairs and various other non monogamous behaviour that women were punished for. It absolutely was used to control women because it wasn't equally applied to men.
@@jonathanxavier2026 Where do you get your idea of the common man? They seem like stereotypes to me, which don't get me wrong have their reasons for existing, but I don't get where you're seeing these stereotypes as commonplace through history across all men. I can definitely see the stereotypes play out more strongly or weekly across varying cultures and through times, but I don't see where it's "the common man" like is presented and what you're defending.
@@Zangozz I don’t think it’s a coincidence that basically every civilisation is monogamous. Also, lots of people who tried open relationships or polygamous found themselves feeling jealous and insecure. It’s not a lifestyle most people can live by.
@@MenchieExtrakt agreed if it was so popular back then and now we’ve all switched to monogamy majority I don’t think it’s government marketing that changed people to doing that. It’s not a conspiracy we’ve all been brainwashed to be monogamous lmao def not.
Noble women also slept around. Dr. Hannah Fry is among the smartest people on the planet so it is shoking that she would make such an asinine argument. I hope the video is edited in a way to make her sound ridiculous.
@@roberth4395 I would definitely not call her one of the smartest people in the world as she has some massive short falls in many areas and one is that she doesn’t think thru intellectual arguments. She argued that Dating Apps have done more harm than good. She didn’t consider the positives of the app like connecting people with similar interests are easier on apps than real life. She argues that Monogamy is designed to keep women in line. Her argument, some rich assholes that also had armies under their command weren’t loyal to their wife’s. Which is a massively unconnected issue. As that had to do with infidelity, which has never been fine, versus the concept of monogamy. I think this is how I would describe her. She is well educated and clearly bright statistician/mathematician. However I wouldn’t call her any where near the one of them most intelligent people. As I see intellect in more of a well rounded form of intelligence as I believe arguments are examples of a person thought processes. I also believe she is a bit to arrogant for her own good, however she is an academic and as someone who has many in his family it is hard to say any of them are particularly humble.
Think of it as individual people instead of the relationship itself. If you only are with your partner, you are being monogamous. If they are not, then they are not being monogamous
@divinegon4671 Not true. Women have mostly been monogamous throughout the history of most societies. Most. But men have always had mistresses and other relationships. Women not so much because they can get pregnant. My point, dumbass, is that people seem to be really bad at monogamy.
Before genetic tests, you never knew for sure who the father was. But you did know who the mother was. So when considering paternal inheritance of titles and estates, the wife being monogamous was very important to those powerful men, so I definitely can see her take in that context.
you're avoiding the essential truth; if a man is not sure that a woman and her kid are his, he obviously and justifiable will not take any responsibility or involvement in protecting or providing for them. this was the main point of monogamy. nowadays the woman is protected by the state against rape and other crimes but when monogamy appeared, we were just a bit more evolved than animals and the only way a woman would get protection was by having a man to do it. I am not even starting the discussions about child support money, of course nowadays is advantageous for women to sleep around.
@djdoomy Thats not a fact though. For most of human history, children have been raised communally, not by a nuclear family. Lots of men and women raising other peoples children.
I do prefer a person who loves me not to go sneaking around with other women. And id give the exact same treatment. If the love isn’t there, they will cheat. And it’s best to find someone who won’t. If you have doubts about a partner, don’t marry them.
Wasn't the harem thing like... a royalty thing in certain cultures and not really a general thing? I mean yeah, most power was and still is male centered but I think the idea that monogamy was specifically created to confine women is faulty at best. Like yeah, poly relationships were more common back in the day and men were mostly the ones who had multiple wives, but it was mostly in certain religious sects like Islam or with the people in power that could afford the expense. Most families were fairly monogamous and still are mainly for the fact that it's just more stable. Humans are naturally very monogamous, we struggle separating and allocating affection to more than one person. And while some can make it work, I think labelling monogamy as inherently sexist is a bit too broad. I think the double standard for kings to have harems and not queens is sexist, but monogamy is just a way of managing a relationship that has tended to work out. To say otherwise is more looking for problems rather than explaining the phenomena.
Poly definitely wasn't a common thing for everyone in medieval. Mostly because protection wasn't really a thing, therefore every affair had a chance to produce a child. Child has to be fed, dressed and raised up. kings and barons had enough resourses to support multiple "families", but it was not the case for peasants. And there were much more peasants that barons for sure
@@0saintclark0 yes it is. Her grandma was trapped and married him at a time women couldn’t have credit or own a bank account. I’m not glamorizing oppression
I think it’s about children. If a woman is monogamous, she knows whose children she has. If not for having children, and ignoring the potential for STD’s, who cares who you’re smashing with? Monogamy is not about control, it’s about maintaining a family unit.
As a woman, I’m only interested in being monogamous, and I’ll only be with someone who feels the same, even if it means being alone. It’s simply not in my nature to be any other way. Fortunately, I live in a time and in a society where this is a choice, not something forced upon me, and I’m very grateful for that.
I think it heavily depends on who is in the relationship and their ideals. I've been monogomous in every relationship I've ever been in and I would never cheat on my wife.
And you’ve had MULTIPLE relationships. That’s not really monogamy either is it? One and only one sexual partner for life is true monogamy. Stop flapping your angel wings.
And you’ve had MULTIPLE relationships. That’s not really monogamy either is it? One and only one sexual partner for life is true monogamy. Stop flapping your angel wings.
On what planet does monogamy only apply to women...? lmao When we're talking about the rich and powerful sometimes it doesn't apply both ways, but for the vast majority of everyone else it's a 2 way street. Even back then. (aside from people who cheat obviously, but that's not like encouraged and acceptable, hence why it's called "cheating")
That's just literally historically inaccurate lol. Even when it was much more accepted for men to have multiple wives etc, that really only applied to the wealthy and powerful. For the vast majority of people, it is and was monogamy both ways.
Monogamy was created for respect and convenience. It is indeed optional before having a contract either verbal or written, so is money. I prefer having only one person to deal with so I can give my best care to the one. Easier to share the love, same goes to fewer children.
This was so bonkers from beginning to end. First all, monogamy has been well documented for thousands of years. Second, how are you going to take the most extreme example of polygamy you could possibly have and somehow extrapolate that into "monogamy is about controlling women." This whole thing is just "Huh?" all the way through.
That would explain some of the weird and gross double standards that are all over the place, especially in purity culture. If a man has sex with a lot of people, it’s usually seen as something to brag about (or at least not be ashamed of), but if a woman has sex with a lot of people, she gets compared to used merchandise (or worse, chewed gum) with the implication that she’s worth less than a woman who has never had sex.
Don't you think it might be wise to look for monogamy from both genders in a traditional family way might be a better way forward??? Geeeeeze....I thought Professors were meant to be wise!!? 🤔
i disagree, Monogamy is actually the best thing ever, it offer you a layer of trust and confidence (that you are the best he/she knows) and it benefits the most women's as this force men to be more responsible and to provide and care for her as if there where other option's during hard times men tend to leave...
Bad take. Monogamy works to protect the emotional integrity of the closest relationships we can have in our lifetime (especially between husbands and wives- which is backed up by research, not just traditional beliefs and values). Sexual intimacy has strong emotional impacts for both men and women. Being more nonchalant with who your sexual partners are has long term impacts, especially emotionally, and it impacts our ability to build our next relationships of any kind, not just romantic. Monogamy protects these relationships and both partners’ invested interests and emotions, since romantic relationships -should- be built to be a number 1 place of safety. Is it hard? Yeah. I’m not saying the desire to be with other people while in a relationship (or not) is easy or nonexistent. And while, yes, there have been maaaaaany double standards throughout history that were definitely used to control women, I don’t think it’s wise to go so far as to equate that with monogamy as a whole. Monogamy is a choice to be loyal to your partner despite any desires for externality. I think it’s just historical sexism, misogyny, and double standards. Had those princes made any sort of commitment to the women they were with? Or were they just promiscuous? Because if not, then monogamy was never really on the table, just these bad double standards that oppress(ed) women. Men and women benefit from monogamy. It’s well researched and supported. It’s not healthy to promote ideas like this without reading the research either, Dr. Mike. Social sciences and dynamics have just as real impacts on the health and well being of our society as medical research. They go hand in hand.
Asexual people exist, though. What do you expect us to do if we don’t like sex, but our partner craves it? Just take it (pun intended) for the team and be miserable? That’s not healthy.
Also, many kings couldn't be monogamous even if they wanted because of lack of means for contraception. Now they can and the most overwhelming amount are.
I see what she's saying & maybe agree to some point, especially if only the woman is being monogamous in the relationship. I feel, speaking only for myself, as a person with a more traditional mindset,..plus, I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic...I do believe in soulmates, the One, or at the very least, a person I can trust, have fun with & be committed to. That's something I very much want, not because I was trained to be controlled, or submit to 1 person, who is out & about with everyone else.
The statement in this clip doesn’t make logical sense. I’ll have to watch the interview to see if it’s taken out of context. But for the sake of discussion, let’s say that in the past all men could have multiple partners and only the women could not… then monogamy as we know it today is about controlling men, not women.
Can confirm, the interview is more nuanced, and this comes across as her hot take for the day but not something that she feels certain about. The big takeaway from the interview was that eveyone (scientists, mathematicians, doctors, and the rest of us) need to embrace intellectual humility, which is a great point that you would never guess from watching this clip.
Debatable. Monogamy began 10,000 years ago. NOT a recent phenomenon. And by some researchers considered to be an evolutionary transition. The inclination of power here, lies on women i.e monogamy became a way to control men not women and was also considered better than engaging in constant competition against other (stronger?) male counterparts. But most importantly, Infidelity =/= Polygamy.
I don't get this, both partners in a relationship are monogamous if you find another partner in a monogamous relationship that's cheating. This isn't controlling women this is both parties saying youre the one from me both the man and woman in a het relationship are being "controlled"
Since she hasn't experienced being married to one person for their whole life. I find her opinion to be dysfunctional. I guess she will never know. Nor will I. It's not for everyone. It has to do with self control. We are not animals.
I can’t tell if this is satire or not. I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it’s a parody of the “I’m better than you” attitude that judgy people get when they hear about relationships that are different from theirs.
What’s dysfunctional is how muslim men can have 3 wives while a woman cant. Aorry to burst your patriarchal bubble. But men like seem like psychopaths or borderline’s.Not intelligent enough so find the need to control women
@@heartofthewild680poly relationships are an oxymoronic concept made by stupid people who don't have any virtues in their lives. Bunch of woke morons. Funny thing is there are legitimately animals that are strictly MONOGAMOUS like albatros love birds, whom will die of stress when their lover dies. Humans have been and always will be monogamous.
@@heartofthewild680monogamy is better than polygamy. It lead to a more stable society and families that is a fact it serves nothing getting mad about it 😘
@@djdoomy I agree with you. It is a mutual beneficial arrangement for both women and men. Women get a protector for them and their children and men get to have a sure knowledge that the children are 100% theirs.
But... If it's a way to keep women from getting with other men while they're doing that... It's not monogamy??? If anything it's a way to control men as a man having multiple women was more common than vice versa, as was mentioned...
Monogamy goes back far prior to religion. its the best format in which to raise children. not from some philosophical standpoint, from an evolutionary one. obviously it was not as tied into some Marriage certificate or religious ideal quite like it might be today, but people were certainly often monogamous. even going back to ancient times this is how it was done. the difference today might be that socially sexuality is more taboo, so perhaps sexual adventures outside of your partner would have been more common. but evidence for traditional families goes very far back.
I mean this is leaning on the idea that an average guy today has the same pull as some of the most corrupt figures in history 🤣like these people would literally cut eachother apart and now we’re using them as a gauge of how to perceive relationships? Genius
Well I think the reason all those peoples had mistresses is because they could. They were told they could. It's no different from celebs and wealthy today. Most are told, "You're this great person, you can have what and whomever you want! Who would dare say no to you"?! Even women were slightly poly because sometimes kings wanted to bed other people's wives, so it was allowed in a way. People like the idea of poly in theory, but human nature will take over and eventually someone is going to get in their feelings about something.
I think the logic here is a bit too expanded (if she’s talking about marriage today). I think partnership is about caring and developing each other as humans. Though I’m aware of cases where men exploit the system of marriage and attempt to control women, I think that’s his problem. The marriage itself isn’t the problem and I believe most men today aren’t marrying their partner to control and exploit. Thus, what we should do is to educate children and adults, regardless of genders, the purpose of partnership and the importance of healthy relationships as this could also impact how they treat other people as well. Edit: I wanna say that I don’t wanna argue with anyone but I just want everybody to be happy and have best out of their partnership✌️
Your are confusing a KING or a PRINCE with a Husband.There is a clear difference. While married, the Man and Woman are supposed to be monogamous🤔, so how is this lady saying marriage is to control women? You tried lady....😭
So I really can't argue this point. You see it many religions too. Lots of control. But mannnnn I'm just not that type of dude. I just want ONE girl that won't cheat. Like I only want one partner. But I can't reasonably expect a girl that does too?
That’s what most people want. It’s the most efficient way to have a relationship. Not only would jealousy and other negative feelings be involved, but it’s not good for raising kids and stuff like that. Most of us are monogamous, because it’s just better that way, not because we were brainwashed lol
The idea of monogamy isn’t control over the opposite sex. The idea is that both stay faithful. Where we miss the mark is that we are human. Men and women cheat alike. To say it’s to control women and say men are the only ones who sleep around is crazy, atleast in western cultures. Now other cultures I won’t speak for. They use religion to allow multiple wives I don’t agree with that but to say it’s meant as control so men can do whatever the hell they want is ridiculous.
Bad take. The only common alternative to monogamous society is polygynous society where some men have harems, and women have a bad time. Monogamy controls men by preventing them from acquiring harems.
No, she just explained it kind of weird. So monogamy as an idea to control women was (back then) that women needed to have only 1 husband, 1 lover. Nothing else. But men were able to have many suitors and lovers and could also flirt and use their power to manipulate women and take other people’s daughters as their 2nd, 3rd, 4th wives as a political move of power But women couldn’t do that. Women had to stand by their 1 husband no matter what he did and were not supposed to seek love or pleasure by any means besides their husband. But that was then. I can’t make a case for what she’s really trying to explain for now since pretty much all men in 1st world countries now only are married to 1 woman and seeing another woman outside of that without your wife’s consent is largely considered cheating. So in that, men and woman have equalized the balance. We both get to be married ONLY to each other and if either of us is having an emotional and/or sexual relationship outside of that it’s cheating for BOTH of us If BOTH of us agree to be polyamorous, then we BOTH are seeing more than just each other So it’s equal
This is as one-sidedly zeitgeist as it is silly: The idea of monogamy is also a way to control men - because it leads to women having a claim to provision, as our society (still) functions. To create real equality, one must give men the chance to exercise rights that are withheld from them due to role expectations - and hold women more accountable. Just sit in a café on any afternoon and observe the gender ratio of the guests…"
This makes no sense at all. Marriage is a union and both husband and wife benefit from it. Men who get older and end up not having a family and more prone to a destructive and less meaningful life. Women who don't have kids in a supportive marriage suffer as well. I think marriage is beautiful for both 💗 it is a shame that it has been looked down upon in todays society. I am 27 and wholeheartedly want this for my life.
She thinks she is arguing for freedom but what she really wants is another cage. And I love the argument of oh well these kings and barons in medieval times did bad things so we should be able to do them as well. Also the argument that it was only the select few not the general populace.
First of all, give your statements as statements is sounds week when you put a question mark at the end. But also I think she’s looking at the situation very two dimensionally, those women would have children who they presumedly would care about. So having anyone who is able to help provide stability, food, shelter, all that good stuff is great. Men don’t have this problem. I find it strange that people talk about this sort of thing like it was written into law. When at least in the western world, it was more an idea of social norms and an instinctual drive to seek out a higher quality of life. You gotta make sacrifices and in “the olden days… whenever that was” those sacrifices were bigger
Monogamy is intrinsic to the concept of the Marital Covenant, which is borne from God's very nature. It is a sacrament because it is a grace that produces faith. Christ has one bride and He is the king of kings. His bride is us, the most wayward possible. If he, the ruler of all the earth has complete fidelity with his bride, then we as men should seek to be the same. Women should seek to produce the same fidelity out of love for their spouse finding them as the only one receiving this fidelity. You can not change traditional marriage because you can not change God's nature.
So dumb a life long love of one person is to acknowledge that person will share all of the smiles and cry's with you and if your really lucky that one person will be your escort at your side as you die loved and ready.....
@@paintedhorse6880 facts don't care about your feelings either as this is an L take. There are studies that shows that a society that does not have monogamy performs worse than a monogamous society. Also, the more partners you have the more miserable you will be. ps: Please keep in mind that she might be biased as she and her ex-husband divorced.
I mean, I can see this from a non-Christian point of view, but even then I'd have to disagree. I think it was more of just status, like "hey haha I can get multiple wives because I'm the ruler!". Like, yea, most queens didn't have multiple husbands. But nowadays it's called cheating, or like, a threesome/foursome/etc. either way, no matter the gender.
In actuality, many queens had affairs too. And we don't know, if it was less common or it was less documented. Like, everyone would care about the king's bastard from a mistress since that kid could inherit lands. But not so much people cared about queens kids, since they just all was assumed to be from the king
One psychologist once said;There will be 5 wimen on every man in this town.I think she meant alpha men.aAnother saying is that 3 % of alpha is sleeoing with 80 %Of the wimen.
In my religion the man is allowed more than one wife. However if the wife is not okay with the husband having other wifes then he is not allowed to do so. Also the man needs to be able to provide for all the women and not just give all the goods to one of them. As you can guess these are very difficult to satisfy conditions and so the overwhelming majority of men have only 1 wife. Cheating / having affairs is one of the biggest sins and has been charged with the death sentence.
This has to be one of my favorites you've done so far. I never thought about it that way. I think it makes sense too. I also think that in todays times, i think there are a lot more men now that want a monogamy relationship.
Yes, use the most egotistical and power hungry people and extrapolate their way of being to the rest of the population throughout history. Absolute bollocks.
It has nothing to do with power and all to do with wanting to know who the father was. Even as a bastard the kid of the king would have been rich and powerful.
@@iziiadouNo they wouldn't have any claim to the throne. Historically it wasn't uncommon for royals to have children outside marriage but none of them are in the line of succession.Feb 28, 2023
It wasn't just the most egotistical and power hungry, it was the common man. Common men sought out sex workers, engaged in affairs and various other non monogamous behaviour that women were punished for. It absolutely was used to control women because it wasn't equally applied to men.
@@jonathanxavier2026 Where do you get your idea of the common man? They seem like stereotypes to me, which don't get me wrong have their reasons for existing, but I don't get where you're seeing these stereotypes as commonplace through history across all men. I can definitely see the stereotypes play out more strongly or weekly across varying cultures and through times, but I don't see where it's "the common man" like is presented and what you're defending.
take away p*rn and see what happens.
Most people can’t and don’t want to be polygamous
Agreed
We have become that way because of society molding us
@@Zangozz no we haven’t it’s never been sustainable to swap partners
@@Zangozz I don’t think it’s a coincidence that basically every civilisation is monogamous.
Also, lots of people who tried open relationships or polygamous found themselves feeling jealous and insecure. It’s not a lifestyle most people can live by.
@@MenchieExtrakt agreed if it was so popular back then and now we’ve all switched to monogamy majority I don’t think it’s government marketing that changed people to doing that. It’s not a conspiracy we’ve all been brainwashed to be monogamous lmao def not.
So because kings and princes have harems, that means the average men back then are also polygamous? That doesn’t logically follow.
The average Arabic men?, yes.
@@aidaneaglesfield9148monogamy has nun to do with you being rich or poor most rich people are monogamous
Noble women also slept around. Dr. Hannah Fry is among the smartest people on the planet so it is shoking that she would make such an asinine argument. I hope the video is edited in a way to make her sound ridiculous.
@@roberth4395 I would definitely not call her one of the smartest people in the world as she has some massive short falls in many areas and one is that she doesn’t think thru intellectual arguments.
She argued that Dating Apps have done more harm than good. She didn’t consider the positives of the app like connecting people with similar interests are easier on apps than real life.
She argues that Monogamy is designed to keep women in line. Her argument, some rich assholes that also had armies under their command weren’t loyal to their wife’s. Which is a massively unconnected issue. As that had to do with infidelity, which has never been fine, versus the concept of monogamy.
I think this is how I would describe her. She is well educated and clearly bright statistician/mathematician. However I wouldn’t call her any where near the one of them most intelligent people. As I see intellect in more of a well rounded form of intelligence as I believe arguments are examples of a person thought processes. I also believe she is a bit to arrogant for her own good, however she is an academic and as someone who has many in his family it is hard to say any of them are particularly humble.
But true monogamy would be both partners only having one partner. I feel like I’m missing some context to her comment.
The context is all men are evil
Think of it as individual people instead of the relationship itself. If you only are with your partner, you are being monogamous. If they are not, then they are not being monogamous
Men throughout history have largely never had only one partner.
@@paintedhorse6880neither have women. Wtf are u talking about
@divinegon4671 Not true. Women have mostly been monogamous throughout the history of most societies. Most. But men have always had mistresses and other relationships. Women not so much because they can get pregnant. My point, dumbass, is that people seem to be really bad at monogamy.
Before genetic tests, you never knew for sure who the father was. But you did know who the mother was. So when considering paternal inheritance of titles and estates, the wife being monogamous was very important to those powerful men, so I definitely can see her take in that context.
you're avoiding the essential truth; if a man is not sure that a woman and her kid are his, he obviously and justifiable will not take any responsibility or involvement in protecting or providing for them. this was the main point of monogamy.
nowadays the woman is protected by the state against rape and other crimes but when monogamy appeared, we were just a bit more evolved than animals and the only way a woman would get protection was by having a man to do it.
I am not even starting the discussions about child support money, of course nowadays is advantageous for women to sleep around.
@djdoomy Thats not a fact though. For most of human history, children have been raised communally, not by a nuclear family. Lots of men and women raising other peoples children.
@@djdoomy It is a man's job to step up and be a man. Whether or not the child is biologically yours is irrelevant.
I do prefer a person who loves me not to go sneaking around with other women. And id give the exact same treatment. If the love isn’t there, they will cheat. And it’s best to find someone who won’t. If you have doubts about a partner, don’t marry them.
take away p*rn and see what happens.
Wasn't the harem thing like... a royalty thing in certain cultures and not really a general thing? I mean yeah, most power was and still is male centered but I think the idea that monogamy was specifically created to confine women is faulty at best.
Like yeah, poly relationships were more common back in the day and men were mostly the ones who had multiple wives, but it was mostly in certain religious sects like Islam or with the people in power that could afford the expense. Most families were fairly monogamous and still are mainly for the fact that it's just more stable. Humans are naturally very monogamous, we struggle separating and allocating affection to more than one person. And while some can make it work, I think labelling monogamy as inherently sexist is a bit too broad. I think the double standard for kings to have harems and not queens is sexist, but monogamy is just a way of managing a relationship that has tended to work out. To say otherwise is more looking for problems rather than explaining the phenomena.
Poly definitely wasn't a common thing for everyone in medieval. Mostly because protection wasn't really a thing, therefore every affair had a chance to produce a child. Child has to be fed, dressed and raised up. kings and barons had enough resourses to support multiple "families", but it was not the case for peasants. And there were much more peasants that barons for sure
My grandparents just celebrated their 74th wedding anniversary. I want to be married to the same man until the day I die. That’s special.
Actually, most ppl doing that are miserable.
@@theREALESTrealistUNPOPULARnot even close to being true.
@@0saintclark0 yes it is. Her grandma was trapped and married him at a time women couldn’t have credit or own a bank account. I’m not glamorizing oppression
@@theREALESTrealistUNPOPULAR wow. Thank god you're here to invalidate everyone's feelings and tell them the truth about their own lives.
@@0saintclark0 this is a comment section on an open forum. Go to a delulu blog if u just wanna hear what you wanna hear
This has to be her dumbest idea yet. Using the most power hungry monarchs and dictators as a general rule.
My favorite podcast episode to date. Re-watched/ listened many times!
I think it’s about children. If a woman is monogamous, she knows whose children she has. If not for having children, and ignoring the potential for STD’s, who cares who you’re smashing with? Monogamy is not about control, it’s about maintaining a family unit.
As a woman, I’m only interested in being monogamous, and I’ll only be with someone who feels the same, even if it means being alone. It’s simply not in my nature to be any other way. Fortunately, I live in a time and in a society where this is a choice, not something forced upon me, and I’m very grateful for that.
I think it heavily depends on who is in the relationship and their ideals. I've been monogomous in every relationship I've ever been in and I would never cheat on my wife.
And you’ve had MULTIPLE relationships. That’s not really monogamy either is it? One and only one sexual partner for life is true monogamy. Stop flapping your angel wings.
And you’ve had MULTIPLE relationships. That’s not really monogamy either is it? One and only one sexual partner for life is true monogamy. Stop flapping your angel wings.
@@themonrovian8441 The new lie liberals want to spread
Will the polyamorous ever shut up?
Where can i see the whole interview?
On what planet does monogamy only apply to women...? lmao
When we're talking about the rich and powerful sometimes it doesn't apply both ways, but for the vast majority of everyone else it's a 2 way street. Even back then.
(aside from people who cheat obviously, but that's not like encouraged and acceptable, hence why it's called "cheating")
For most of history men haven't been expected to be monogamous. That's why she stared the fact that monogamy only really applied to women.
That's just literally historically inaccurate lol. Even when it was much more accepted for men to have multiple wives etc, that really only applied to the wealthy and powerful. For the vast majority of people, it is and was monogamy both ways.
Monogamy was created for respect and convenience. It is indeed optional before having a contract either verbal or written, so is money.
I prefer having only one person to deal with so I can give my best care to the one. Easier to share the love, same goes to fewer children.
This was so bonkers from beginning to end. First all, monogamy has been well documented for thousands of years. Second, how are you going to take the most extreme example of polygamy you could possibly have and somehow extrapolate that into "monogamy is about controlling women."
This whole thing is just "Huh?" all the way through.
Right on 👍🏽
Spartans.
I like being monogamous, ive been in a polygamous relationship and it was a nightmare
That would explain some of the weird and gross double standards that are all over the place, especially in purity culture. If a man has sex with a lot of people, it’s usually seen as something to brag about (or at least not be ashamed of), but if a woman has sex with a lot of people, she gets compared to used merchandise (or worse, chewed gum) with the implication that she’s worth less than a woman who has never had sex.
What has that got to do with monogamy? Monogamy is not defined as a system for females only.
Don't you think it might be wise to look for monogamy from both genders in a traditional family way might be a better way forward??? Geeeeeze....I thought Professors were meant to be wise!!? 🤔
You cannot love someone and then sleep with someone else. Its simply not possible, thinking otherwise says a lot about how unfaithful you are.
will there be maybe a part 2?
So many men and women out there living in quiet desperation, wondering if there is more to life than getting married and having kids.
no its not... but I live a good life because I dont have any kids :)
@@elise9537
But how old are you?
L take
I love her, but L take is L take
Ridiculous as New testament commands it for both mentally and emotionally perfect
I think it’s (certainly in today’s world) more about having a family unit for raising children.
i disagree, Monogamy is actually the best thing ever, it offer you a layer of trust and confidence (that you are the best he/she knows) and it benefits the most women's as this force men to be more responsible and to provide and care for her as if there where other option's during hard times men tend to leave...
Bad take. Monogamy works to protect the emotional integrity of the closest relationships we can have in our lifetime (especially between husbands and wives- which is backed up by research, not just traditional beliefs and values). Sexual intimacy has strong emotional impacts for both men and women. Being more nonchalant with who your sexual partners are has long term impacts, especially emotionally, and it impacts our ability to build our next relationships of any kind, not just romantic. Monogamy protects these relationships and both partners’ invested interests and emotions, since romantic relationships -should- be built to be a number 1 place of safety. Is it hard? Yeah. I’m not saying the desire to be with other people while in a relationship (or not) is easy or nonexistent. And while, yes, there have been maaaaaany double standards throughout history that were definitely used to control women, I don’t think it’s wise to go so far as to equate that with monogamy as a whole. Monogamy is a choice to be loyal to your partner despite any desires for externality. I think it’s just historical sexism, misogyny, and double standards. Had those princes made any sort of commitment to the women they were with? Or were they just promiscuous? Because if not, then monogamy was never really on the table, just these bad double standards that oppress(ed) women. Men and women benefit from monogamy. It’s well researched and supported. It’s not healthy to promote ideas like this without reading the research either, Dr. Mike. Social sciences and dynamics have just as real impacts on the health and well being of our society as medical research. They go hand in hand.
Only the kings could have harems, not the average man
Btw you're quite intelligent
Asexual people exist, though. What do you expect us to do if we don’t like sex, but our partner craves it? Just take it (pun intended) for the team and be miserable? That’s not healthy.
The new lie liberals want to spread, the same ones that say men and women are "just gender stereotypes"
Also, many kings couldn't be monogamous even if they wanted because of lack of means for contraception.
Now they can and the most overwhelming amount are.
@@heartofthewild680obviously we are talking about the majority
I see what she's saying & maybe agree to some point, especially if only the woman is being monogamous in the relationship. I feel, speaking only for myself, as a person with a more traditional mindset,..plus, I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic...I do believe in soulmates, the One, or at the very least, a person I can trust, have fun with & be committed to. That's something I very much want, not because I was trained to be controlled, or submit to 1 person, who is out & about with everyone else.
The statement in this clip doesn’t make logical sense. I’ll have to watch the interview to see if it’s taken out of context. But for the sake of discussion, let’s say that in the past all men could have multiple partners and only the women could not… then monogamy as we know it today is about controlling men, not women.
Can confirm, the interview is more nuanced, and this comes across as her hot take for the day but not something that she feels certain about. The big takeaway from the interview was that eveyone (scientists, mathematicians, doctors, and the rest of us) need to embrace intellectual humility, which is a great point that you would never guess from watching this clip.
Debatable. Monogamy began 10,000 years ago. NOT a recent phenomenon. And by some researchers considered to be an evolutionary transition. The inclination of power here, lies on women i.e monogamy became a way to control men not women and was also considered better than engaging in constant competition against other (stronger?) male counterparts. But most importantly, Infidelity =/= Polygamy.
Love this.
And this is what's wrong with society
voicing an opinion? that seems a little dramatic of you...
@@af-cy2cy no he just disagrees with the opinion, he never mentioned anything regarding suppressing free speech 😂
@@af-cy2cy what sounds dramatic to me is her blaming men for monogamy is what I'm hearing... This woman is insane.
Facts you don't like?
@@af-cy2cyvoicing ideology that pushes society to be more wrecked
yes you definitely shouldn't be talking about this
I feel like she’s just trying to justify the need to have multiple partners
I don't get this, both partners in a relationship are monogamous if you find another partner in a monogamous relationship that's cheating. This isn't controlling women this is both parties saying youre the one from me both the man and woman in a het relationship are being "controlled"
its not really a way to cotrol women it was a way of controlling ofspring
Since she hasn't experienced being married to one person for their whole life. I find her opinion to be dysfunctional. I guess she will never know. Nor will I. It's not for everyone. It has to do with self control. We are not animals.
I can’t tell if this is satire or not. I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it’s a parody of the “I’m better than you” attitude that judgy people get when they hear about relationships that are different from theirs.
What’s dysfunctional is how muslim men can have 3 wives while a woman cant. Aorry to burst your patriarchal bubble. But men like seem like psychopaths or borderline’s.Not intelligent enough so find the need to control women
@@heartofthewild680poly relationships are an oxymoronic concept made by stupid people who don't have any virtues in their lives. Bunch of woke morons.
Funny thing is there are legitimately animals that are strictly MONOGAMOUS like albatros love birds, whom will die of stress when their lover dies. Humans have been and always will be monogamous.
@@heartofthewild680monogamy is better than polygamy. It lead to a more stable society and families that is a fact it serves nothing getting mad about it 😘
It has nothing to do with control. They just wanted to know who the father was.
wouldn't you want to know you're the father before committing to protect and care for that child and his mother?
@@djdoomy I agree with you. It is a mutual beneficial arrangement for both women and men. Women get a protector for them and their children and men get to have a sure knowledge that the children are 100% theirs.
But... If it's a way to keep women from getting with other men while they're doing that... It's not monogamy??? If anything it's a way to control men as a man having multiple women was more common than vice versa, as was mentioned...
monogamy was created to protect women and their children.
Nah, it was created to human males from killing each other over not getting mates.
Lady, ma'am ITS ABOUT COMPANIONSHIP
Definitely think it's the other way around... men didn't need a concept to do that back then.
It's actually more about religious indoctrination more than the nobles
Most religions insist on monogamy
Monogamy goes back far prior to religion.
its the best format in which to raise children. not from some philosophical standpoint, from an evolutionary one.
obviously it was not as tied into some Marriage certificate or religious ideal quite like it might be today, but people were certainly often monogamous.
even going back to ancient times this is how it was done.
the difference today might be that socially sexuality is more taboo, so perhaps sexual adventures outside of your partner would have been more common. but evidence for traditional families goes very far back.
monogamy precedes any religion, educate yourself. religion has advocated for monogamy because it was a good thing for societies.
@@djdoomy *For maintaining stable societies where every person had access to mate.
I mean this is leaning on the idea that an average guy today has the same pull as some of the most corrupt figures in history 🤣like these people would literally cut eachother apart and now we’re using them as a gauge of how to perceive relationships? Genius
There's a difference between is and was
To control and/or to protect women. These things go hand in hand.
Well I think the reason all those peoples had mistresses is because they could. They were told they could. It's no different from celebs and wealthy today. Most are told, "You're this great person, you can have what and whomever you want! Who would dare say no to you"?!
Even women were slightly poly because sometimes kings wanted to bed other people's wives, so it was allowed in a way. People like the idea of poly in theory, but human nature will take over and eventually someone is going to get in their feelings about something.
No it's literally the EXCAT opposite monogamy only is used to control men not women.
I like Hannah more now than ever before.
Princes having mistresses while being married is cheating. Not polygamy. What she’s saying is completely wrong 😭
I think the logic here is a bit too expanded (if she’s talking about marriage today).
I think partnership is about caring and developing each other as humans.
Though I’m aware of cases where men exploit the system of marriage and attempt to control women, I think that’s his problem.
The marriage itself isn’t the problem and I believe most men today aren’t marrying their partner to control and exploit.
Thus, what we should do is to educate children and adults, regardless of genders, the purpose of partnership and the importance of healthy relationships as this could also impact how they treat other people as well.
Edit: I wanna say that I don’t wanna argue with anyone but I just want everybody to be happy and have best out of their partnership✌️
Your are confusing a KING or a PRINCE with a Husband.There is a clear difference. While married, the Man and Woman are supposed to be monogamous🤔, so how is this lady saying marriage is to control women?
You tried lady....😭
Because she didn't really think about this
@@aidaneaglesfield9148positions of power do often make you a much worse person
Offcourse women were sopost to be monogomise for people to know who the father is.
we live in a different time now. we arent princes..... so its failed logic.
Man I have lost sooooo much respect for this woman in just a few seconds.......
What?
So I really can't argue this point. You see it many religions too. Lots of control. But mannnnn I'm just not that type of dude. I just want ONE girl that won't cheat. Like I only want one partner. But I can't reasonably expect a girl that does too?
That’s what most people want. It’s the most efficient way to have a relationship. Not only would jealousy and other negative feelings be involved, but it’s not good for raising kids and stuff like that. Most of us are monogamous, because it’s just better that way, not because we were brainwashed lol
The idea of monogamy isn’t control over the opposite sex. The idea is that both stay faithful. Where we miss the mark is that we are human. Men and women cheat alike. To say it’s to control women and say men are the only ones who sleep around is crazy, atleast in western cultures. Now other cultures I won’t speak for. They use religion to allow multiple wives I don’t agree with that but to say it’s meant as control so men can do whatever the hell they want is ridiculous.
Bad take.
The only common alternative to monogamous society is polygynous society where some men have harems, and women have a bad time. Monogamy controls men by preventing them from acquiring harems.
Exactly i want to get cheated on
I dont really care cuz its an opinion 💀
she means a way to control men. She had it backwards
Exactly what I was thinking. 🤔
No, she just explained it kind of weird. So monogamy as an idea to control women was (back then) that women needed to have only 1 husband, 1 lover. Nothing else. But men were able to have many suitors and lovers and could also flirt and use their power to manipulate women and take other people’s daughters as their 2nd, 3rd, 4th wives as a political move of power
But women couldn’t do that. Women had to stand by their 1 husband no matter what he did and were not supposed to seek love or pleasure by any means besides their husband.
But that was then. I can’t make a case for what she’s really trying to explain for now since pretty much all men in 1st world countries now only are married to 1 woman and seeing another woman outside of that without your wife’s consent is largely considered cheating.
So in that, men and woman have equalized the balance.
We both get to be married ONLY to each other and if either of us is having an emotional and/or sexual relationship outside of that it’s cheating for BOTH of us
If BOTH of us agree to be polyamorous, then we BOTH are seeing more than just each other
So it’s equal
how on earth have you come to this conclusion
@@ThatDataLady lmao what you explained in your first paragraph isn't even monogamy.
Not at all. Monogamy is a way to know who the father was.
This is as one-sidedly zeitgeist as it is silly: The idea of monogamy is also a way to control men - because it leads to women having a claim to provision, as our society (still) functions. To create real equality, one must give men the chance to exercise rights that are withheld from them due to role expectations - and hold women more accountable. Just sit in a café on any afternoon and observe the gender ratio of the guests…"
As a Historian I get it, as a Demisexual I don't get it. hahaha!
This makes no sense at all. Marriage is a union and both husband and wife benefit from it. Men who get older and end up not having a family and more prone to a destructive and less meaningful life. Women who don't have kids in a supportive marriage suffer as well. I think marriage is beautiful for both 💗 it is a shame that it has been looked down upon in todays society. I am 27 and wholeheartedly want this for my life.
Surprisingly a woman who hasn't been brainwashed
Also a way to protect women. An unmarried woman had no protection in society.
She thinks she is arguing for freedom but what she really wants is another cage. And I love the argument of oh well these kings and barons in medieval times did bad things so we should be able to do them as well. Also the argument that it was only the select few not the general populace.
First of all, give your statements as statements is sounds week when you put a question mark at the end. But also I think she’s looking at the situation very two dimensionally, those women would have children who they presumedly would care about. So having anyone who is able to help provide stability, food, shelter, all that good stuff is great. Men don’t have this problem. I find it strange that people talk about this sort of thing like it was written into law. When at least in the western world, it was more an idea of social norms and an instinctual drive to seek out a higher quality of life. You gotta make sacrifices and in “the olden days… whenever that was” those sacrifices were bigger
How about this: be monogamous if you want to be and dont if you dont. 😅 there sexism with regards to the control of woman solved.
Its for normal men to have 1 women.. other wise only rich or handsome will get lots of women.
Now men with concubines?
She is talking nonsense 🗣️🗣️💯🔥
This was spoken by someone who doesn't understand history, culture, or law.
Monogamy is intrinsic to the concept of the Marital Covenant, which is borne from God's very nature. It is a sacrament because it is a grace that produces faith. Christ has one bride and He is the king of kings. His bride is us, the most wayward possible. If he, the ruler of all the earth has complete fidelity with his bride, then we as men should seek to be the same. Women should seek to produce the same fidelity out of love for their spouse finding them as the only one receiving this fidelity. You can not change traditional marriage because you can not change God's nature.
So dumb a life long love of one person is to acknowledge that person will share all of the smiles and cry's with you and if your really lucky that one person will be your escort at your side as you die loved and ready.....
You can get a more differenciated and better research take on monogamy and polygamy from Robert Sapolsky‘s lectures here on RUclips.
No , it’s a commandment from YAH
Nope
That was the result of religion.
i can understand kinda. monogamy in the past may have been to control women, but i don’t think it does anymore. fidelity goes both ways now
This is a bad take.
Facts don't care about your feelings
@@paintedhorse6880 facts don't care about your feelings either as this is an L take.
There are studies that shows that a society that does not have monogamy performs worse than a monogamous society.
Also, the more partners you have the more miserable you will be.
ps: Please keep in mind that she might be biased as she and her ex-husband divorced.
That's ignorance. Monogamy came to protect the women. You are forgetting 99% of history.
I mean, I can see this from a non-Christian point of view, but even then I'd have to disagree.
I think it was more of just status, like "hey haha I can get multiple wives because I'm the ruler!". Like, yea, most queens didn't have multiple husbands. But nowadays it's called cheating, or like, a threesome/foursome/etc. either way, no matter the gender.
In actuality, many queens had affairs too. And we don't know, if it was less common or it was less documented. Like, everyone would care about the king's bastard from a mistress since that kid could inherit lands. But not so much people cared about queens kids, since they just all was assumed to be from the king
...
If God Wanted Us To Be Polyamorous Then He Wouldn't Of Created Sexual Disease End Of.
This has to be the worst take I have ever heard
Please read your bibles ohh myyy 😑 GOD just start judgement day so these ppl know you are truly real
Me, laughing at all you monogamous people in this thread. 😂
One psychologist once said;There will be 5 wimen on every man in this town.I think she meant alpha men.aAnother saying is that 3 % of alpha is sleeoing with 80 %Of the wimen.
In my religion the man is allowed more than one wife. However if the wife is not okay with the husband having other wifes then he is not allowed to do so. Also the man needs to be able to provide for all the women and not just give all the goods to one of them. As you can guess these are very difficult to satisfy conditions and so the overwhelming majority of men have only 1 wife. Cheating / having affairs is one of the biggest sins and has been charged with the death sentence.
All the people completely misinterpreting what she’s saying in these comments. 😂
No, she's just saying bs because "princes had multiple mistresses, therefore humanity wasn't monogamous"
mmmm nah I don't think we misinterpreted anything, she's just bonkers insane!
@@TacseraEpSekahs Humans aren't monogamous.
Total BS! A way to control women???🤣🤣
Bullshit 😂
That's a terrible take
FINALLY IT HAS BEEN SAID!!!
She's deluded
Is there a “laugh” button. This is ridiculous.
This has to be one of my favorites you've done so far. I never thought about it that way. I think it makes sense too. I also think that in todays times, i think there are a lot more men now that want a monogamy relationship.
What?