Andrew what you don't know is that when you grow up in an abusive family you don't recognize red flags. I had to go to a shrink to realize my family was abusive. Then I had to also go into a recovery program for children of alcoholics. When my marriage collapsed in my thirties l had to find out how dysfunctional I was. Eventually I could discern when I was being abused or just overreacting. It's been a long road. I also thought the absence of rage or yelling meant things were ok. So for people from loving homes l think it hits them harder. They haven't developed a shell. Not saying l wasn't hurt but l find it easier to recover back to my true self. I have other loves that aren't boyfriends! Toxic people can't exist in my life. I will weed them out
I’m also a child of an alcoholic I’m now in AA and have never felt better! Also went to a therapist for EMDR for a traumatic childhood! It really works!
I was completely overwhelmed by my covert, vulnerable narcissistic husband from our very first meeting. He was charming, polite, and attentive. He’d been married before, which had only lasted 6 months, as she had left him for another man and subsequently married him after their divorce. He was heartbroken, he’d been abandoned and discarded. It was the “perfect setup,” to illicit my sympathy and empathy and I fell hook, line and sinker. I moved in with him and we were married 2 years later. Yes, there were many red flags and I ignored all of them, including my instincts, because he was so charismatic, yet vulnerable and we appeared to have “ everything in common,” or so he made me believe, but it was all an act, a ruse, a disguise. That was the beginning of my marriage, my nightmare, my hell, which still continues today. It has now been 24 years, 22 of those married, which fortunately gave me two beautiful sons, my only salvation in this horrible mess. I look at him now and I can see it all so clearly; the manipulation, the false rhetoric, the deception, all carefully planned and executed to fool even the wariest onlooker. And now, with the love,support and protection of my two sons, things are slowly, very slowly changing and I hope to escape in the not so distant future. Thanks Andrew for such an in depth insight into the complexities of narcissism and it’s many forms of destructive abuse. Namaste everyone. 🙏🏽🤍🦋
I am the priority and as such, I’m off to have dinner with my rat pack of school chums since grade school, at an old haunt we frequented after movies late night growing up, and get THIS: one friend is recently remarried to an amazing guy and guess where they’re in from for the week (drum roll please 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁, yup, THE BEAUTIFUL CAROLINAS!!! I kid you not 😉 ) The world just keeps gettin’ smaller as we get……wiser! Have a great night, Andrew and the Daily tribals 😇🙏🏼💖
Recently a narc, attempted to push me onto their center stage, in front of a few , all the while playing on their sympathy, in an attempt to corner me, knowing that I would not respond, knowing that it would make me look bad, and as always, win win for the narc! I exactly said no, and my boundaries remain. Red flags, my intuition, my instincts, I could clearly see what the narc was trying to do. Namaste, strength, love and light💯🙏❤🙌🌟🌟🌟🎄🛡🎲
Yes, in hindsight I ignored all of the screaming red flags that were everywhere. On our second date he said, "Even if my ex-wife is on her death bed, I want an apology." Who would say this. That poor woman escaped the mentally and emotionally abusive narc after 32 years of marriage. I should have ran for the hills, Yet, I looked the other way on so many occasions and ignored my intuition. Never again will I allow HOPE to hold me hostage. Never again.
That is exactly what the new Supply does. They ignore the red flags. There's a lot of people that think that it seems like the narcissist is happier with the new Supply. Oh sure they're happy because they have new Supply. But after just a little while, the mask comes off, and this person suffers the same as everybody else.
My head is just spinning at how many people are going thru this. I felt so alone. Andrew THANK YOU so much for sharing what you have learned. Everything you say is a page from my life. Working on healing.
You most certainly are not alone.. I am part of a couple of groups on Facebook about surviving narcissistic abuse. Maybe you can try joining one of those, the support is incredible.
Yep. Another channel refered to this as "Induced conversation". It was described as you said.. as too much. Too much, too often, gave me the feeling they want to take up your time so you can't process what has occurred.
When I think back to the very first contact when he shook my hand and said hello a couple years before the relationship even began, I had a queasy sensation. And there were contradictory moments when working on ministry like contradictory behavior from what was preached. And that was me ignoring red flags 🚩 and there were plenty as I look back now. The charming deceit became my belief. And I chose to believe words over truth, over my own intuition. So my belief system was rocked. Centering within me now ❤🙏
@@emilywilson7308 yes. I do believe this is why I’ve been placed on a time out so to speak for a couple years. The first few months after agreeing to pull out of leadership roles and ministry, I was detoxing. It’s important to know what we’re addicted to. I didn’t even know. Thank God for mentors. I’m 9 months from serving out of impulse. How can one listen to their instinct if they never stop to listen? Listening now. Have a beautiful day 🤗
I ignored the huge red flag 10 minutes into the drive to the restaurant for our very first date in 2011. Oh had I just went with my gut and asked to go back to my car! Instead, went through the cycle for several years. I'd like to think I am smarter now... but I am probably too guarded to ever trust again.
Thank you for what you do🤍 I've been 7 months or so free, healing and letting go. For the most part I'm at peace and your videos in the first 3-4 months helped me so so much. I do still watch them now but I think in those first few months, the fog was still strong. I see things so much clearer now. When I met the person I was involved with, I was at a very low place in my life, I see things now that I didn't before. He took advantage of me, it's so sad because I at one point thought I was so lucky he came into my life when he did. But actually he saw an opportunity to just take take take from someone who didn't know much better at the time. Thank you again. Hope you have a lovely Christmas.
I've been NC since May of this year with my narcissistic mother. I have no father in my life, and my only two siblings are loyal to my mother. My family now are my beautiful children. They've taught me what real and unconditional love is. Thank God for them. I'm truly blessed 🙏😌💟😃😉💕
@@JamieLynnMorris yes! Thank God for Andrew! He's AMAZING 😌🙏😃❤️. I also appreciate all of the support from the abuse survivors on this channel. Many blessings to you all!!! 🙏😌💯💟🎇🎄☃️
I met my narc ex EXACTLY 9 years ago today. He immediately wanted my phone number (we met online)..I didn't like that, but eventually I said yes. He called me a few days after meeting and he talked about himself for 2 hours straight..at the time, he had a very interesting job at a very nice restaurant..so at that time I was interested enough into who he was that I didn't see it as a red flag. However.. I did notice he talked about himself alot and his initial sob story about how crazy his ex was..that made Me back off. I stopped texting, I stopped communicating. I really felt in my gut, maybe this isn't someone I need to get involved with. Then a day or two later, it was Christmas Day. Christmas morning he wrote me a simple text that said "Merry Christmas Robyn. You're beautiful and hope your day is great" I don't know what it was about that message, it made me ignore those initial red flags gut feelings to back off. I just thought..he can't be bad, I'll give him a chance. As we all know, they all start off charming and sweet in some way that draws you in. The only, and I mean ONLY thing that makes me glad I ever met that nightmare of a human was now I'm fully educated and a veteran at spotting red flags for problems, narc red flags, manipulation tactics and gaslighting. I was really clueless when I met this person. At least I can thank him for now knowing what I need to completely avoid in the future
I turned down a Christmas gift given to me by my narcissistic husband because it was a dress with a big cut-out in the front, below the bra line, above the waist. He told me I didn't dress sleazy enough so he bought me this dress. I told him I wouldn't wear it. He said to put a sweater over it. I said, just take it back. He took it back and I didn't get a Christmas present from him that year.
your right about the take, take, take. i ran into where they even would take your life. that is for real and horrible to have to not just live thru but, go thru. thank you so much for helping and telling us the truth. fantastic presentations. you could save many lives from having not just love, but happiness stolen from them.
Red flags. Yep, I ignored them, attributed them as areas where I could help him grow as a person.🙄 🤢 🤮 Yeah, I've learned to stop beating myself up over THAT naivety. Thanks Andrew for bringing the tough topics that help us heal.
I also ignored the red flags and thought he just needed guidance to be a decent human,I now know you should not have to guide any one to be decent they should just decent be end of.
Oh yes, and they lead you on to believe that you are the only person that really understands them and you are the person that is going to open them up and help them to finally start trusting, they promised to change, and of course they never do.
Today I cried. My neighbors were putting me down and gossiping behind my back. I helped so many of them. But no longer. They showed their true colors. I'm so grateful to channels like these on RUclips. For all the insight and clarity. I'm happier keeping to myself. I have my Beautiful, Loving, Caring and Kind Sons(Angel's from GOD) And my Beautiful Soul Friend in San Diego. I am Blessed. Thank you Andrew, You are an Angel sent from GOD. LOVE, LIGHT, PEACE And BLESSINGS to You and Everyone in The WORLD 🙏🙏🏾🙏🏻🙏🏿🙏🏽🙏🏼🙏🏿♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟😇😇😇😇😇😇😇🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🍁💪🏻👍🤗
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone Andrew, You have given me more insight, clarity and sound advice than my previous Psychiatrist, Psychologist, Therapist and Doctor ever did. I wish You were a Therapist. Andrew, I am so sorry for what you went through. But, at the same time I am so grateful because Your experience and Your Strength gives me strength to carry on. I thank GOD SOURCE for answering my prayers, asking for an Angel to come into my life...And HE sent You Andrew😇 I now know that It was by no means an accident that I came across Your channel. It was meant to be. You are an anchor for each and every one of us in Your Community. LOVE Knows Love GOOD Knows Good and HEARTS KNOW HEARTS. Because of GOD SOURCE, Michael, Barry and Nessrine And You, I am beginning to Truly Love Me As Well. And I now know that I am worthy of Love. I have always been a giver without ever expecting anything in return. I've always given my heart, my love, anything anyone ever wanted from me I gave. I thought that everyone loved the way that I did and do. fortunately, I know better now. And that's because of You Andrew. You have given us your insightful wisdom on how to cope and move forward from people who wanted and still try to hurt us and make us suffer. My mind is racing right now, I want to tell you everything😥 But I can't type as fast as my mind is thinking. I wish You were a Therapist. For You have given me more than any specialist ever did. I am truly grateful to You. I want to contribute to your channel in the new year. You are helping millions of people. I am Blessed to have an Angel like you in my life. I Love You So Very Much Andrew. I thank GOD Every day for all the Mirracles, Answered Prayers and Answered Questions in my life. And I thank GOD for You My Angel Andrew. You truly are, our beakon of Love♥️ Light🌟 and Truth🌈 I wish I could hug you forever😇 Unfortunately for me I cant. So I am sending You My Love♥️ And Light🌟 With GOD SOURCE'S BLESSINGS AND Great Big HOLLY🤗HUGS FOREVER 🙏🏻🙏🏽🙏🏼🙏🏿🙏🙏🏾🙏🏼😘😘😘😘😘😘😘♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁😇😇😇😇😇😇😇 Happy Holidays Peace and Joy To EVERYONE In The World🌟
Oh but it IS our fault! We didn’t learn normal things like setting boundaries and sticking to them, and we became codependent bowing to others needs and wants over our own! It’s our own uncentered emotional side that caused us to get into toxic relationships with narcissists! We have huge changes to make to be more emotionally centered to normal people because normal people deflect narcissists fast with their boundaries. Andrew has mentioned we didn’t set boundaries like normal people and we became codependent and that we need to work on these issues about ourselves that lead straight to attracting narcissists devils taking advantage of us. There is a good reason this happened to us all! Something bad in our childhoods made us uncentered emotionally. Learned it from all these utubers and in therapy fixing myself. Now I am a angry reactor to any perceived gaslighter Narc. There’s no avoiding them it seems. 🤦♀️ We have to become strong women to stand up to this evil! Study boundaries from google image searches and other utube videos and codependency too and you will find the path to healing and strength! 🙏
Hindsight is always 20/20! I used to blame myself and think I was unintelligent to allow so much abuse over such a long time. Thank you Andrew for always emphasizing that we were simply uneducated. Now that we are awakened and aware we can see those red flags coming a mile away🧐
Thanks for doing a red flag 🚩 video!!! Spot on with those examples!! It’s hard for empaths to listen to red flags and this is one of the most important topics to cover well!!! We have to train ourself to act on red flags now. I am much better at it now. Thanks 🙏
The narcissist just mirrored us so good from the start we fell in love with our selves, (thinking they were authentic too, and full of life and Love.💡💡💡💡
He first got me hooked by implying that other women were interested in him so that I would make sure that I was available and pursuing him. Then he used other women to triangulate me to give him more. He would talk about what other women were giving him in an indirect way as a way to get me to work harder to be with him. The triangulation was the top tactic he regularly used with me while denying it. He would claim that I was jealous or controlling when I would complain about these extra women he talked about as “friends”. He wanted me to step up my game and give him more and more. He said we would go in a vacation. After 3 years, it never happened. He once took his kids on a vacation and I was supposed to go, but he left the day before my son’s graduation so I couldn’t go. He was manipulating me left and right. Then when I would complain or get angry, he would blame me for my reaction! That’s called gaslighting I have learned. Even worse, I am a single mother to a special needs son who I adopted with my ex-husband. The narc has an adopted special needs son so we originally connected over that. But it was his ex-wife’s idea to adopt. So the narc looks like a benevolent guy; a real pillar of the community. He future faked me as well: go on a vacation together, build a small house together, do a day trip to VT. None of it was ever going to happen!! He would barely drive to my house or put in any effort. He manipulated me to do all the work and take what little resources I had. He never cared about hurting me. I tried to impose normal boundaries but he never respected my boundaries.
Update: I’m almost 5 months of no contact now. Healing little by little. I’ve come a long way in these past few months. Everyone is blocked from his world. I’ve decided to toggle between catching up on Facebook with my friends and family and deactivating it. Facebook remains mostly deactivated and that has been very mentally healing for me. I log in about once every 2 weeks just to get caught up and then go back to a deactivated status.
While walking in the store with my narc sister she said,"the only good thing about being with my ex was I got this coat and purse".. Alot of red flags with her. Thankx Andrew for the tips. Blessings 2U 🧸
Hello from Corpus Christi, Texas Just knowing that I am not alone has helped me tremendously . I didn’t even know what the narcissist really is until 4 years ago - the root cause of many difficulties in my life. You are not alone.
It’s amazing how many red flags there was in my marriage and friendships it was on reflection that I saw I’m really working on listening to those inner feelings life is one huge lesson I believe now is where my life is going to get so much better this I can actually feel everyone that was toxic are now removed, I also believed I was the third version of me I was wrong now I am feeling free of everything that held me back
Very true all you said Andrew. 💯 now that we have the education we cannot close our eyes on the red flags anymore. I gave too many chances to my ex narc. I no longer do that. If i feel that a person is not authentic honest and respectful, i leave and that is all there is to it. No regrets. Thank you for the very informative video Andrew. Have a great evening and night. Love you. 😘💙🙏
My own mother is a narcissist. I suspect a malignant pathological one. I've been NC with her since May of this year because she was coming after my precious children.
Holidays were always nerve wracking, as I did SO much and could never just be there feeling at ease. I was always being judged by the narcs family. They were never a fraction as kind to me as I was good and nurturing to them. SAD.
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone Thank~You Andrew, for all the goodness and light you bring into the world. I never feel alone anymore, and am grateful. ✨️🧚♂️✨️🧚♀️✨️🧚✨️🧚♂️✨️🧚♀️✨️
Thanks. These people are still around. The 'wolf in sheep's clothing'. Its hard work. They creep around and can surprise you. Mindfulness helps a lot. So weird when its strangers. Thanks for another great video❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🤍
ANDREW my instincts and intuition are a lot stronger and wiser now through my experience of the Narc out in our society and now the red flags hit me like a ton of bricks very quickly when a Narc trys to manipulate and play me,I feel very confident now moving forward what to look out for and stay away from in a New York second now.Every single thing you said in this video is exactly right and I've experienced everything you said and it is so insidious and self-serving the terrible ways they operate.I only deal in loving, honest, fair two way street both parties reciprocating sharing relationships now and yes it took me lots of work to heal but all the people out there I promise you can move on and heal as Andrew says you can by putting the work and determination in and staying strong to your self-worth.God bless...💯🖐🙏🙌
Agree I ignored many red flags but in future I know how to act in future ...we learn that there is reasons why we were with these individuals call narcissists.....
Yes, true. We have to listen to our instincts and intuition. Being discerning and telling the truth to ourselves is vital for our healing and then living a healthy and meaningful lives. Thank you.
I keep picking the same man(men) over n over again so I feel safer alone. I was seriously stupid for 20 years, even when it got really bad. The most beautiful thing that came from my first marriage was our daughter. She is my little miracle diamond!
I definitely ignored all red flags. I was in denial because the truth was too painful to bear and honestly I had no idea what narcissism was before I entered the relationship. The terms such as gaslighting, triangulation or rage fits, silent treatment etc.. those were all new to me. I stumbled upon your videos few months ago and broke up with my ex after watching them. Everything made sense to me all of a sudden..like (why he behaved certain ways). Without them I would probably still be stuck in that relationship, in the fog of confusion. They also helped me realize that my own family is full of narcissistic individuals and that I need to work on myself, set boundaries, say NO to people.. So.. Thank you Andrew , for taking your time and making these for us! They really help me a lot and it's nice to know that I am not alone in this. Merry Christmas from Slovakia! 🎄❤
My mom's triangulation (currently) always involves me agreeing to do work on her house, then her hiring someone else just before I was about to do it. It used to drive me insane, now it makes me laugh. Don't give these people the enjoyment of seeing us unhappy. Be happy that you are blessed with this awareness 💜💜💜💜
Relate to this. One of my pet hates, people getting phones out at dinners ! Okay from time to time , but God people have an obsession with it these days! I like to relax and enjoy people's company. I do not even have the internet on my phone, i'm not up to date yet, avoiding it as long as possible, ha ha ! My ex used to put photos of us on his social media , i never knew most of the time, weird ! If there was one thing that i wish was in fashion , that would be truly relaxing and enjoying the moment. Thanks Andrew.
The restaurant thing reminds me of my now ex-wife. She used to complain that we didn't go out enough, She always wanted to do the dinner and movie routine, which I am fine with, but no matter what I picked for either all she did was have a fit because something was never right. At one point I switched it up a bit and told her I would drive and pay for everything, but she had to pick where we ate and what movie we went to. We never went out again after that BY HER CHOICE! 😂
After the narcissist I was married to for 24 years died I was literally shocked that my siblings were exactly like him! They did the exact same thing he did to me for years except they did it first! The gaslighting; the silent treatment the devalue. Everything! How I was so dysfunctional and mind damaged I had no idea that this was a fact to this day I have no idea how I missed the red flags. Now red flags are flying in the wind. I can no longer miss the red flags cause they are all over the place.. I've moved many miles away from them because I intiuitly knew that they were going to finish the job that the narcissist husband tried to do which is to completely destroy me. The red flags literally saved my life!
Feeling just a bit unsettled tonight because this time last year I was bringing Christmas gifts to my two granddaughters by marriage. Just after New Year their narcissistic mother abruptly discarded me and permanently cut them off from me. I know there'll have been a smear campaign against me which will have further disturbed the girls because we had a warm loving relationship and I'd known them since they were born and saw them frequently and took them out. I think their mother had planned that I would take her side against her husband in their break up as part of the sisterhood and she got furious when I didn't. Really I thought that both of their high dramas would be harmful to the kids. I did kind of think it was my fault because I knew she had narcissistic tendencies but I thought I could keep my boundaries. I had a narcissistic mother myself and I thought it was a constructive way of using my experience to show the girls an alternative viewpoint. I guess I even thought their mother would respect me because I'm so much older than she is. Not a chance! I am lucky to have found this channel which has been invaluable. I have done a lot of healing this year and I'm thankful. Narcissists are so utterly destructive while calmly acting like normal. I have had to practice Radical Acceptance. My heart goes out to the girls and I hope that on some plane we are still connected by love. They are both bright and talented and although I won't be able to see them thrive, I hope they do.
[Credit: Tahlia Hunter] Patience visited me And it reminded me That good things take time to come to fruition And grow slowly with stability Peace visited me And it reminded me That I may remain calm through the storms of life Regardless of the chaos surrounding me Hope visited me And it reminded me That better times lay ahead And it would always be there to guide and uplift me Humility visited me And it reminded me That I may achieve it Not by trying to shrink myself and make myself less But by focusing on serving the world and uplifting those around me Kindness visited me And it reminded me To be more gentle, forgiving and compassionate toward myself And those surrounding me Confidence visited me And it reminded me To not conceal or suppress my gifts and talents In order to make others feel more comfortable But to embrace what makes me me Focus visited me And it reminded me That other people’s insecurities and judgement about me Are not my problem And I should redirect my attention From others back to me Freedom visited me And it reminded me That no one has control over my mindset, thoughts and well-being But me And love visited me And it reminded me That I need not search for it in others As it lies within me. [Words by Tahlia Hunter]
I was in denial - I knew what narcissism was thanks to my Dad, but I didn't want to see it - even with Red Flags staring me in the face - lying, road rage, talking bad about coworkers and supervisors etc - it's difficult to get out now, I thought I could if it got too bad for me, but now it's almost 10 years and I'm still trying to work my way out - moral of the story, if you know the Red flags, please don't ignore them like I did 💔
I fell deeply in love with a man, who has done all the red flags that you talk about- and he claims he is not toxic 😢 He has drained me emotionally and financially 😢
Andrew, this may be the best video yet. It explains every trait that a narcissist has and explains it at a level that anybody can easily understand through the examples of those traits. 👍
Im grieving for the last of my siblings and it hurts so bad. It hurts so bad. It hurts so bad. 7 yrs no contact with all of my family except my last brother, and one month no contact with him. I thought there was hope. No, no hope at all. The pain is deep, feels like im giving birth (ive had 5 kids). BUT i have peace and my house is full of love and my children are thriving. Lots of Rasta love from NZ my fellow healers ❤️💛💚
So sorry not even one salvagable family member! It is sad. I had 3/5 narcs. 2 have passed...parents...and the narc brother whoa the executor. Been brutal and he's triangulate me and my sister. I've Majorly limited contact and keep it only fact based when it comes to estate and use my sister...flying monkey as back channel when I want info to get back to him. Exhausting and sooo painfully disappointing
My narc would blow up the holidays. Leading up to Christmas he would have this sour puss look on his face and complain about things related to celebrating Christmas. It got to a point where I started to dread holidays. It's not supposed to be that way. He knew I loved the ocean and when I would suggest going, often times he would protest or just make me feel bad about it that it was going to ruin what he wanted to do even though the things that he wanted to do he could do any time during the week. I was very confused because the the roller coaster nature of our relationship. He would say he wanted out of the relationship then the next thing I knew he was taking me out to this fancy restaurant or being sweet to me, maybe buying me something. It did get worse over time and in the end, when I finally got the courage up to leave, he said that he wanted me gone long ago and was mad at me for not leaving sooner. I was emotionally dependent on him and found it very hard to leave. I couldn't take the ups and downs anymore, the devaluing, the rage fits, etc. He claimed that I falsely blamed him for things that he wasn't doing like cheating. However, I had good reason to believe that he was with no real proof but red flags that he was.
Blessings 💯 My ex Narc was in a relationship with my nextdoor neighbor who happened to be someone I considered a friend and he thought I was going to put up with that crap because I didn't catch them. Well I was more than happy to give both of them the boot sort to speaking, being from Louisiana ❤️✌🏽🙏🏽
Thank you for sharing your wisdom 🙏 ❤ big red flags I ignored was them threatening self harm/ violence to get out of their responsibility and " working" 7 days a week even on holidays , I was trying so hard to make them happy I let myself be abused , never again !!!
A monster and this is putting it mildly. DITTO blamed others always and how they were taken advantage of. Exactly saying things like ‘ maybe I’ll get an ugly woman and she’ll do what I want. Exactly or pretending they’re too tired to do the normal activities because they’re too tired. Even will admit that they’re selfish, and that it’s all about them. Even down to controlling everything even the TV, will have picked out what movies we’d watch w/o my input, control control until everything is not worth it. But the moment you decide it’s over they blame everything on you, and it’s crystal clear it’s a lie, and when turn it back on them, they claim they’re sad and have realized the error they made, but it’s all lies.
Great video Andrew. Well when I was in the narcissistic relationship, the red flags were there and I was always in denial, I would think oh he's having a bad day. My instincts all told me to get out leave him. But the narcissist always saw when I was at that point and would sweet talk me into giving it another chance. This wen on up until I was discarded. I just never thought that another human being would treat someone that way. It goes against my nature. Now I see that I should have trusted my instincts, and ran the first chance I got. Now I'm educated and I'm healing and will try to be much more careful. Thanks everyone and thank you Andrew.
You need to back the F up on the age thing.... I was 20 years older, NOT because I am the narc., but because that bastard told me I was beautiful, and his soul mate, age is a number.... He manipulated ME to hang with HIS younger friends.... they come in all sizes, mine was a dwarf...
Hello from Idaho. Thanks Andrew. Having a hard time tonight with past mistakes. These videos help me everyday. All these things are exactly what has happened. Peace❤🩹
I’m sorry you are having a hard time. I hope you can find a way to heal and let go of those past mistakes. It’s good when you can let go of the past and live in the present moment. The press moment is all we really have. Wishing you a brighter future
Bingo you nailed it! I’m still SMH that people like this exist who will take to the point of no return and then keep right on doing this like what are you complaining about? Hmmm Honestly it’s hard to get my head around this. The guilt trip undeniable “you just don’t love me” or my fav “ you just don’t believe in me do you?” Geez
My ex-husband's believed in me though they didn't tell me! They pushed me every step of the way and those "Clowns" are Evil to the Very Core!!! Having offering me ridiculous behavior and Nothing of Value!!! Takers of life, breath and funds!!! I'm leary of most men who say, "Wife and I went our separate ways and we just grew apart." Probably because they pushed, kinived and devalued the very ones they said they would love!!! I got through that silly stuff and it's not that fun to deal with.
Thank you, Andrew, for this video tonight!I hope you feel better! My mind pointed out the red flags as they were occurring but I chose to ignore the red flags because overall there was an old familiar family pattern playing out in the relationship with the ex and that drew me to the relationship at first. Now that I'm on the healing path and have a strong belief in myself and I listen to my intuition, I wouldn't tolerate that kind of behavior from anyone again. Wishing Andrew and everyone a safe, peaceful night or day depending on where you are. Stay safe and warm if you are living in the US during this time when there is a big storm sweeping across the country. Namaste. 🙏 ❤️ 😇 ❄️ ☔
The biggest red flag I ignored was her constant flirting even during courtship, she had other men in the loop.I should have seen the signs she loved the competitive anxiety
It has been 9 months since I exited a toxic relationship. Thank God that I have ZERO contact with the narcissist. I can say that I’m definitely healed, and I’m so at peace. I lived decades with a narcissist and I can also say that life is better without a narc. I love the view Andrew, and you look so much happier. I am so glad for you. Take care good friend! Merry Christmas! ❤
Thank you once again for sharing. I've taken a break from narc content. But this is right on time. Reassurance I'm doing the work. I'm on the healing path. I WAS feeling bad for putting up boundaries, not anymore.
Andrew, my Brother..every one of your Videos are SPOT ON! If I didn't know better, I'd swear that you've Mastered the Subject of Narcissisism through Several Years of Study! 👍😎
Red flags . It seems that all of my biggest relationship problems is from my ignoring the red flags . Sometimes the flags flew high and bright , other times I just noticed the tip twitch . I've always referred to ignoring or choosing to push past the heed to warning as GIVING THE PERSON THE BENEFIT OF DOUBT . I've always liked that about myself , but after decades of not heeding the intuition God has given me, it's time to smarten up and learn from the past and what you're offering here ! Thank you for addressing things intelligently and compassionately. I think you have the gift of edification because you're great at correcting and encouraging and are very kind ! Thank you Andrew ❣️💖🌿🕯️
I love love love the backdrop! It's my birthday today and thinking about things I'd like to do in the future and it reminded me how I've _always_ wanted to sit on a porch in a typical American house like that. It probably sounds crazy as you've probably done it a thousand times, but every time I've been to America I've always stayed in hotels. I've always had a sense that being able to do that when it's your home, would feel so peaceful, safe and comforting. Making me emotional just thinking about it! Thank you Andrew 🙏
It’s all a game for them…….enough is enough…….I don’t think about these unpleasant things anymore! Have a happy and blessed holiday season Merry Christmas 🎄🎄❣️🕊😇🎄❤️
Out of every media I've read or listened to on narcissism - your channel relays the experience down to a T! Very intelligent and precise as it gets. Keep up the invaluable work!
Yes to all of the above!- red flags all over the place but we "hope" that will change I saw the red flags As an empath I knew things were not right I was raised by Narcs so i knew But I kept hoping ,waiting Just maybe things would get better and when you are raised by Narcs you are more excepting of bad behavior and all the things that go with it Rage fits? I was raised in the constant atmosphere of rage fits so again nothing unusual about it Please for those who think things will change I can assure you they will not change NO amount of love you give the Narc will change anything about him/her Get out and do not look back
My best friend in the world invited the ex and I down to visit with her for the day. When we got there he excused himself and sat in her back office working on his laptop (he said he had work to do) the entire time. I remember feeling very embarrassed about his lack of courtesy and social interaction. She offered him food, and he ate the food, but just sat back in her office the whole time. Thinking back now, I wonder whether he was actually working or entertaining other sources of supply there. I just remember it being embarrassing. He never liked or was courteous to any of my friends now I think about it.
Another great video Andrew ❤️. About 98% of your video happened to me with the narc, do they have a secret website or something that they can get tips from as they are nearly all the same? I met a new man on Tuesday for coffee and within 20 minutes I thanked him for that and left…..he was another narc. His life story was parallel to the ex narc I just got away from, way too many red flags and alarm bells going off, even down to using one of his ex wives (divorced 3 times) to buy a house as he didn’t have enough money. The ex narc was divorced 3 times, 3 ex girlfriends including me bought houses with him in 7 years and we all dumped him. I honestly cannot grasp WHY they constantly do this as they end up alone chasing for another one to destroy before times runs out for them, I really couldn’t be bothered. They are a different breed to the rest of us. Your videos have really shown me what I was up against and I know, that will NEVER happen to me again. Thank you Andrew.👍👍👍
I have a question. My father was just caught doing something. He opened a bank account and pulled a loan under my moms social and used the social for a place to rent! She has not been with this guy for years. She found out when doing a credit check. This narcissist thinks what he is doing is justified? She has not finalized the divorce papers, but is now in the process. it just shocked me how he can just take what he wants.
@@maried7776 She is worried to do that. in her mind she thinks he will hurt her some way, or divide the family. people at her work know about it and when I looked deeper into the loan it was pulled owing money. He is paying it off behind her back, not to justify his actions though. My doctor told me I was moments from death last year in the hospital -- my father thought it was nothing and told others it was just a little problem. not one post about my near death, or prayers on his Facebook page -- not one! This is a true narcissist
Oh, but still he did it without her knowing, he’ll do it again if he isn’t stopped regardless. The bank should at least know his scheme. Sorry about your near death experience, your Dad sounds like a narcissist, his actions are telling. Narc I encountered spent all of his Mom’s money because he felt entitled, it was a joint checking. He served time for that. He got caught, It was very serious. She had very little, but he took it without her knowledge. He’s a convicted felon now, financial abuse of a vulnerable adult. His Mom! He still thinks he did no wrong and he never will. Most, not all, will commit financial crimes I’ve come to learn.
@@maried7776 I know this sounds messed up, but I truly think the reason he has not filed for divorce himself . MONEY! He cheated on her years back and justified it. When he came to get his things, he brought with him the girl he was cheated with! How twisted can you get? I have talked too her a few times and she wants to get this fixed. Her credit rate took a big hit because of his use of her SS when together. He did not pay rent for 4 months and my mom ended up in a court room while he hid. Thankfully the owner of the home knew about the cheating and theft days before the hearing and dropped the charges.
That's my ex to a tee, always blaming her own mum her ex husband and her boss for her anxiety and depression even blaming me for it,this is a women who doesn't even get you a birthday card because you said that you don't need to get me anything just get me a card,all the red flags were their just didn't notice them at the time,and didn't no what narcissism was, another great video alot of lightbulb moments for me🙏
@UCsnV_PC6is-4SWgEfcNgqSA thought this woman was the one for me quiet,looked like I could help her with her anxiety and depression,the total opposite from my grandiose 1st partner turned out she was even more manipulative and deceiving than her,left me homeless and no money and turned everyone against me ,it's hard to think anyone who does something like that doesn't have a consience,even worse how people can't see her for what she is
Absolutely right again Andrew this narc plays on his up bringing and has played his cards , as I say , to every woman in where he is now. About that he was not wanted as a child . And it's as we know is not true . How low has that narc gone to seek beautiful women that have been vulnerable and are vulnerable as he plays his cards so to speak. Parasite that this narc is. This Parasite has been spotted and Andrew for the greater good I am not alone. His karma from his self is finally catching up on this narc . Because he's brought on this narc self .
Andrew what you don't know is that when you grow up in an abusive family you don't recognize red flags. I had to go to a shrink to realize my family was abusive. Then I had to also go into a recovery program for children of alcoholics. When my marriage collapsed in my thirties l had to find out how dysfunctional I was. Eventually I could discern when I was being abused or just overreacting. It's been a long road. I also thought the absence of rage or yelling meant things were ok. So for people from loving homes l think it hits them harder. They haven't developed a shell. Not saying l wasn't hurt but l find it easier to recover back to my true self. I have other loves that aren't boyfriends! Toxic people can't exist in my life. I will weed them out
Good for you. Stay strong.
I’m also a child of an alcoholic I’m now in AA and have never felt better! Also went to a therapist for EMDR for a traumatic childhood! It really works!
The 61 year old narcissist hung around with 20 year olds! Pathetic!
The narcissist constantly flirted with everyone!
Same . Love love 💕
I feel I'm coming out of a haunted house and stepping into a beautiful bright life. So aware and awake.
🙏💯🙌
Yeaaaaaa!🎉
Isn't it beautiful how Accountablity is part of the path. It's hard but worth it.
Gosh, my holidays are so peaceful since I became estranged from my family. My whole life is better and I will never go back. I am so grateful.
The narcissist only cares about himself,his feelings 😎
🙌💯😉
Or Herself / her feelings ☝🏼
Thank you again, Andrew. 💫❤️
I think they are simply incapable to be any different than they are.
Learning, growing, changing for the better- not happening.
I was completely overwhelmed by my covert, vulnerable narcissistic husband from our very first meeting. He was charming, polite, and attentive.
He’d been married before, which had only lasted 6 months, as she had left him for another man and subsequently married him after their divorce.
He was heartbroken, he’d been abandoned and discarded. It was the “perfect setup,” to illicit my sympathy and empathy and I fell hook, line and sinker.
I moved in with him and we were married 2 years later. Yes, there were many red flags and I ignored all of them, including my instincts, because he was so charismatic, yet vulnerable and we appeared to have “ everything in common,” or so he made me believe, but it was all an act, a ruse, a disguise.
That was the beginning of my marriage, my nightmare, my hell, which still continues today.
It has now been 24 years, 22 of those married, which fortunately gave me two beautiful sons, my only salvation in this horrible mess.
I look at him now and I can see it all so clearly; the manipulation, the false rhetoric, the deception, all carefully planned and executed to fool even the wariest onlooker.
And now, with the love,support and protection of my two sons, things are slowly, very slowly changing and I hope to escape in the not so distant future.
Thanks Andrew for such an in depth insight into the complexities of narcissism and it’s many forms of destructive abuse.
Namaste everyone. 🙏🏽🤍🦋
I am the priority and as such, I’m off to have dinner with my rat pack of school chums since grade school, at an old haunt we frequented after movies late night growing up, and get THIS: one friend is recently remarried to an amazing guy and guess where they’re in from for the week (drum roll please 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁, yup, THE BEAUTIFUL CAROLINAS!!! I kid you not 😉 ) The world just keeps gettin’ smaller as we get……wiser! Have a great night, Andrew and the Daily tribals 😇🙏🏼💖
Recently a narc, attempted to push me onto their center stage, in front of a few , all the while playing on their sympathy, in an attempt to corner me, knowing that I would not respond, knowing that it would make me look bad, and as always, win win for the narc! I exactly said no, and my boundaries remain. Red flags, my intuition, my instincts, I could clearly see what the narc was trying to do. Namaste, strength, love and light💯🙏❤🙌🌟🌟🌟🎄🛡🎲
Wow, Stacy! You actually said 'no'? Wouldn't the expression on the narc's face have been priceless!!!🎯
Thank you lla, and Visualize❤
That's exactly right! Run, dont walk the other way. 👍
@@lizzierose007 Hi Lizzie, thank you❤💪🛡
Yes, in hindsight I ignored all of the screaming red flags that were everywhere. On our second date he said, "Even if my ex-wife is on her death bed, I want an apology." Who would say this. That poor woman escaped the mentally and emotionally abusive narc after 32 years of marriage. I should have ran for the hills, Yet, I looked the other way on so many occasions and ignored my intuition. Never again will I allow HOPE to hold me hostage. Never again.
I understand completely..💯🙌🙏
That is exactly what the new Supply does. They ignore the red flags. There's a lot of people that think that it seems like the narcissist is happier with the new Supply. Oh sure they're happy because they have new Supply. But after just a little while, the mask comes off, and this person suffers the same as everybody else.
My head is just spinning at how many people are going thru this. I felt so alone. Andrew THANK YOU so much for sharing what you have learned. Everything you say is a page from my life. Working on healing.
It is mind-boggling!
Peggy, hold on 🧡 I wish you courage...Yes, we are learning what is important to us and finally being able to say yes to ourselves, as Andrew says.
@@viktorija4485 Amen!
You most certainly are not alone.. I am part of a couple of groups on Facebook about surviving narcissistic abuse. Maybe you can try joining one of those, the support is incredible.
When someone calls you too much or texts you too much that is a red flag for me
Nonstop texting, yes. Narc loves his phone, always taking selifies🙄
Yep. Another channel refered to this as "Induced conversation". It was described as you said.. as too much. Too much, too often, gave me the feeling they want to take up your time so you can't process what has occurred.
One friend called her cell phone an electronic leash!
When I think back to the very first contact when he shook my hand and said hello a couple years before the relationship even began, I had a queasy sensation. And there were contradictory moments when working on ministry like contradictory behavior from what was preached. And that was me ignoring red flags 🚩 and there were plenty as I look back now. The charming deceit became my belief. And I chose to believe words over truth, over my own intuition.
So my belief system was rocked. Centering within me now ❤🙏
@@ESSIEMARIE1998 yep. Certainly know what that is now.
I would like to really tune in to my body because our gut will tell us the truth. Maybe meditation or reiki would help? Or just silence...
@@emilywilson7308 yes. I do believe this is why I’ve been placed on a time out so to speak for a couple years. The first few months after agreeing to pull out of leadership roles and ministry, I was detoxing. It’s important to know what we’re addicted to. I didn’t even know. Thank God for mentors. I’m 9 months from serving out of impulse. How can one listen to their instinct if they never stop to listen?
Listening now.
Have a beautiful day 🤗
@@gratefultobehere just, WOW!
You should always trust, your own intuition. It will never steer you wrong.Your Instinct and intuition. Your best friend.
Agreed 💯
Keep your boundaries. Did Tong Len again today to clear darkness she tried to bring.
@@marypalmer1062 did it work?
Absolutely 💯 intuition and instinct.
@@emilywilson7308 always works. Thanks.
I ignored the huge red flag 10 minutes into the drive to the restaurant for our very first date in 2011. Oh had I just went with my gut and asked to go back to my car! Instead, went through the cycle for several years. I'd like to think I am smarter now... but I am probably too guarded to ever trust again.
💪💪💯🙌
Me too, Jamie.
Thank you for what you do🤍
I've been 7 months or so free, healing and letting go. For the most part I'm at peace and your videos in the first 3-4 months helped me so so much. I do still watch them now but I think in those first few months, the fog was still strong. I see things so much clearer now. When I met the person I was involved with, I was at a very low place in my life, I see things now that I didn't before. He took advantage of me, it's so sad because I at one point thought I was so lucky he came into my life when he did. But actually he saw an opportunity to just take take take from someone who didn't know much better at the time.
Thank you again. Hope you have a lovely Christmas.
Oh girl... I can relate to everything you wrote. We are so fortunate to have Andrew and all the understanding folks in this group.
Welcome.. continue on the path moving forward everyday 🙏🙌💯☀️
I've been NC since May of this year with my narcissistic mother. I have no father in my life, and my only two siblings are loyal to my mother. My family now are my beautiful children. They've taught me what real and unconditional love is. Thank God for them. I'm truly blessed 🙏😌💟😃😉💕
@@JamieLynnMorris yes! Thank God for Andrew! He's AMAZING 😌🙏😃❤️. I also appreciate all of the support from the abuse survivors on this channel. Many blessings to you all!!! 🙏😌💯💟🎇🎄☃️
MB, Jamie and Emily have a wonderful narc-free Christmas!🎄
My intuition was spot on at the end. When he was cheating and then gaslighting me. I knew and could feel it. That was my power.
💯🙌😌
I met my narc ex EXACTLY 9 years ago today. He immediately wanted my phone number (we met online)..I didn't like that, but eventually I said yes. He called me a few days after meeting and he talked about himself for 2 hours straight..at the time, he had a very interesting job at a very nice restaurant..so at that time I was interested enough into who he was that I didn't see it as a red flag.
However.. I did notice he talked about himself alot and his initial sob story about how crazy his ex was..that made Me back off. I stopped texting, I stopped communicating. I really felt in my gut, maybe this isn't someone I need to get involved with. Then a day or two later, it was Christmas Day.
Christmas morning he wrote me a simple text that said "Merry Christmas Robyn. You're beautiful and hope your day is great"
I don't know what it was about that message, it made me ignore those initial red flags gut feelings to back off. I just thought..he can't be bad, I'll give him a chance.
As we all know, they all start off charming and sweet in some way that draws you in. The only, and I mean ONLY thing that makes me glad I ever met that nightmare of a human was now I'm fully educated and a veteran at spotting red flags for problems, narc red flags, manipulation tactics and gaslighting.
I was really clueless when I met this person. At least I can thank him for now knowing what I need to completely avoid in the future
My intuition has grown to the point I see right through nearly everyone. Why I keep to myself.
😉🙏🙌
I turned down a Christmas gift given to me by my narcissistic husband because it was a dress with a big cut-out in the front, below the bra line, above the waist. He told me I didn't dress sleazy enough so he bought me this dress. I told him I wouldn't wear it. He said to put a sweater over it. I said, just take it back. He took it back and I didn't get a Christmas present from him that year.
Mine liked the whore look too, he was into porn so that explained a lot. No way was I going there with his pig ideas. 😅
Good for you!
I should say "my now ex-husband"
your right about the take, take, take. i ran into where they even would take your life. that is for real and horrible to have to not just live thru but, go thru. thank you so much for helping and telling us the truth. fantastic presentations. you could save many lives from having not just love, but happiness stolen from them.
Welcome 🙌💯🙏
God bless you, Pat!
This video sounds like the narration of my entire relationship! Thank you Andrew
Welcome 🙏🙌💯
Red flags. Yep, I ignored them, attributed them as areas where I could help him grow as a person.🙄 🤢 🤮 Yeah, I've learned to stop beating myself up over THAT naivety. Thanks Andrew for bringing the tough topics that help us heal.
I also ignored the red flags and thought he just needed guidance to be a decent human,I now know you should not have to guide any one to be decent they should just decent be end of.
Oh yes, and they lead you on to believe that you are the only person that really understands them and you are the person that is going to open them up and help them to finally start trusting, they promised to change, and of course they never do.
Today I cried. My neighbors were putting me down and gossiping behind my back. I helped so many of them. But no longer. They showed their true colors. I'm so grateful to channels like these on RUclips. For all the insight and clarity. I'm happier keeping to myself. I have my Beautiful, Loving, Caring and Kind Sons(Angel's from GOD) And my Beautiful Soul Friend in San Diego. I am Blessed. Thank you Andrew, You are an Angel sent from GOD.
LOVE, LIGHT, PEACE And
BLESSINGS to You and Everyone in The WORLD
🙏🙏🏾🙏🏻🙏🏿🙏🏽🙏🏼🙏🏿♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟😇😇😇😇😇😇😇🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🍁💪🏻👍🤗
Beautiful empowering message 💯🙌🙏😊💪
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone Andrew, You have given me more insight, clarity and sound advice than my previous Psychiatrist, Psychologist, Therapist and Doctor ever did. I wish You were a Therapist.
Andrew, I am so sorry for what you went through. But, at the same time I am so grateful because Your experience and Your Strength gives me strength to carry on. I thank GOD SOURCE for answering my prayers, asking for an Angel to come into my life...And HE sent You Andrew😇 I now know that It was by no means an accident that I came across Your channel. It was meant to be. You are an anchor for each and every one of us in Your Community.
LOVE Knows Love
GOOD Knows
Good and
HEARTS KNOW
HEARTS.
Because of GOD SOURCE, Michael, Barry and Nessrine
And You, I am beginning to Truly Love Me As Well. And I now know that I am worthy of Love. I have always been a giver without ever expecting anything in return. I've always given my heart, my love, anything anyone ever wanted from me I gave. I thought that everyone loved the way that I did and do. fortunately, I know better now. And that's because of You Andrew. You have given us your insightful wisdom on how to cope and move forward from people who wanted and still try to hurt us and make us suffer. My mind is racing right now, I want to tell you everything😥
But I can't type as fast as my mind is thinking. I wish You were a Therapist. For You have given me more than any specialist ever did. I am truly grateful to You. I want to contribute to your channel in the new year. You are helping millions of people. I am Blessed to have an Angel like you in my life. I Love You So Very Much Andrew.
I thank GOD Every day for all the Mirracles, Answered Prayers and Answered Questions in my life. And I thank GOD for You My Angel Andrew. You truly are, our beakon of Love♥️
Light🌟 and
Truth🌈
I wish I could hug you forever😇
Unfortunately for me I cant. So I am sending You My
Love♥️
And
Light🌟
With GOD SOURCE'S
BLESSINGS
AND Great Big
HOLLY🤗HUGS
FOREVER
🙏🏻🙏🏽🙏🏼🙏🏿🙏🙏🏾🙏🏼😘😘😘😘😘😘😘♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁😇😇😇😇😇😇😇
Happy Holidays
Peace and Joy
To EVERYONE In The World🌟
Thank you, Andrew, I need to be reminded often that it was not my fault.
Welcome 🙏💯🙌
Oh but it IS our fault! We didn’t learn normal things like setting boundaries and sticking to them, and we became codependent bowing to others needs and wants over our own! It’s our own uncentered emotional side that caused us to get into toxic relationships with narcissists! We have huge changes to make to be more emotionally centered to normal people because normal people deflect narcissists fast with their boundaries. Andrew has mentioned we didn’t set boundaries like normal people and we became codependent and that we need to work on these issues about ourselves that lead straight to attracting narcissists devils taking advantage of us. There is a good reason this happened to us all! Something bad in our childhoods made us uncentered emotionally. Learned it from all these utubers and in therapy fixing myself. Now I am a angry reactor to any perceived gaslighter Narc. There’s no avoiding them it seems. 🤦♀️
We have to become strong women to stand up to this evil!
Study boundaries from google image searches and other utube videos and codependency too and you will find the path to healing and strength! 🙏
Hindsight is always 20/20! I used to blame myself and think I was unintelligent to allow so much abuse over such a long time. Thank you Andrew for always emphasizing that we were simply uneducated. Now that we are awakened and aware we can see those red flags coming a mile away🧐
Well said…welcome always.. continue to become educated and empowered 🙏💯🙌💪
Thanks for doing a red flag 🚩 video!!! Spot on with those examples!! It’s hard for empaths to listen to red flags and this is one of the most important topics to cover well!!! We have to train ourself to act on red flags now. I am much better at it now. Thanks 🙏
Welcome 💯🙌🙏😊
The narcissist just mirrored us so good from the start we fell in love with our selves, (thinking they were authentic too, and full of life and Love.💡💡💡💡
😉😉💯🙌
He first got me hooked by implying that other women were interested in him so that I would make sure that I was available and pursuing him. Then he used other women to triangulate me to give him more. He would talk about what other women were giving him in an indirect way as a way to get me to work harder to be with him. The triangulation was the top tactic he regularly used with me while denying it. He would claim that I was jealous or controlling when I would complain about these extra women he talked about as “friends”. He wanted me to step up my game and give him more and more. He said we would go in a vacation. After 3 years, it never happened. He once took his kids on a vacation and I was supposed to go, but he left the day before my son’s graduation so I couldn’t go. He was manipulating me left and right. Then when I would complain or get angry, he would blame me for my reaction! That’s called gaslighting I have learned. Even worse, I am a single mother to a special needs son who I adopted with my ex-husband. The narc has an adopted special needs son so we originally connected over that. But it was his ex-wife’s idea to adopt. So the narc looks like a benevolent guy; a real pillar of the community. He future faked me as well: go on a vacation together, build a small house together, do a day trip to VT. None of it was ever going to happen!! He would barely drive to my house or put in any effort. He manipulated me to do all the work and take what little resources I had. He never cared about hurting me. I tried to impose normal boundaries but he never respected my boundaries.
Thank you for sharing this 🙏🙌💯💪
Update: I’m almost 5 months of no contact now. Healing little by little. I’ve come a long way in these past few months. Everyone is blocked from his world. I’ve decided to toggle between catching up on Facebook with my friends and family and deactivating it. Facebook remains mostly deactivated and that has been very mentally healing for me. I log in about once every 2 weeks just to get caught up and then go back to a deactivated status.
While walking in the store with my narc sister she said,"the only good thing about being with my ex was I got this coat and purse".. Alot of red flags with her. Thankx Andrew for the tips. Blessings 2U 🧸
Hello from Corpus Christi, Texas
Just knowing that I am not alone has helped me tremendously . I didn’t even know what the narcissist really is until 4 years ago - the root cause of many difficulties in my life. You are not alone.
It’s amazing how many red flags there was in my marriage and friendships it was on reflection that I saw I’m really working on listening to those inner feelings life is one huge lesson I believe now is where my life is going to get so much better this I can actually feel everyone that was toxic are now removed, I also believed I was the third version of me I was wrong now I am feeling free of everything that held me back
Beautiful growth and progress 🙏💯🙌
Very true all you said Andrew. 💯 now that we have the education we cannot close our eyes on the red flags anymore. I gave too many chances to my ex narc. I no longer do that. If i feel that a person is not authentic honest and respectful, i leave and that is all there is to it. No regrets. Thank you for the very informative video Andrew. Have a great evening and night. Love you. 😘💙🙏
You are a gem, Marie!
@@emilywilson7308 you are so kind, thank you. Have a blessed day Emily. 😊❤
Almost got caught in another trap. Suddenly I saw the red flags as a group. Actually, I see the red flags now.
Good job, Jane!
My own mother is a narcissist. I suspect a malignant pathological one. I've been NC with her since May of this year because she was coming after my precious children.
Holidays were always nerve wracking, as I did SO much and could never just be there feeling at ease. I was always being judged by the narcs family. They were never a fraction as kind to me as I was good and nurturing to them. SAD.
I understand completely 🙌💯🙏
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone Thank~You Andrew, for all the goodness and light you bring into the world. I never feel alone anymore, and am grateful.
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God bless you, Jamie! It's amazing how much pressure we put on ourselves!
Thanks. These people are still around. The 'wolf in sheep's clothing'. Its hard work. They creep around and can surprise you. Mindfulness helps a lot. So weird when its strangers. Thanks for another great video❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🤍
I'm so glade your back .and get fully better.i wish you the finest seasons possible .thank you for caring about humanity . Nameste
I love the side-look you give us.
Even if we knew about Narcissism ...We didn't know about their disguise . They are so clever about that.....😳 💫💫💫
😉😉💯💯
ANDREW my instincts and intuition are a lot stronger and wiser now through my experience of the Narc out in our society and now the red flags hit me like a ton of bricks very quickly when a Narc trys to manipulate and play me,I feel very confident now moving forward what to look out for and stay away from in a New York second now.Every single thing you said in this video is exactly right and I've experienced everything you said and it is so insidious and self-serving the terrible ways they operate.I only deal in loving, honest, fair two way street both parties reciprocating sharing relationships now and yes it took me lots of work to heal but all the people out there I promise you can move on and heal as Andrew says you can by putting the work and determination in and staying strong to your self-worth.God bless...💯🖐🙏🙌
Red flags, intuition and instinct...how I remember ignoring those! Thankfully I am nearly four years out (from my escape) and am happy and healed x
Congratulations 🎉
Agree I ignored many red flags but in future I know how to act in future ...we learn that there is reasons why we were with these individuals call narcissists.....
😉💯💯
Exactly. Didn’t even know people like this existed. Amazing!
Yes, true. We have to listen to our instincts and intuition. Being discerning and telling the truth to ourselves is vital for our healing and then living a healthy and meaningful lives. Thank you.
I keep picking the same man(men) over n over again so I feel safer alone. I was seriously stupid for 20 years, even when it got really bad. The most beautiful thing that came from my first marriage was our daughter. She is my little miracle diamond!
She was worth it!❤
I definitely ignored all red flags. I was in denial because the truth was too painful to bear and honestly I had no idea what narcissism was before I entered the relationship. The terms such as gaslighting, triangulation or rage fits, silent treatment etc.. those were all new to me. I stumbled upon your videos few months ago and broke up with my ex after watching them. Everything made sense to me all of a sudden..like (why he behaved certain ways). Without them I would probably still be stuck in that relationship, in the fog of confusion. They also helped me realize that my own family is full of narcissistic individuals and that I need to work on myself, set boundaries, say NO to people.. So.. Thank you Andrew , for taking your time and making these for us! They really help me a lot and it's nice to know that I am not alone in this. Merry Christmas from Slovakia! 🎄❤
Thank you for sharing this message 🇸🇰💯🙌🙏
My mom's triangulation (currently) always involves me agreeing to do work on her house, then her hiring someone else just before I was about to do it. It used to drive me insane, now it makes me laugh. Don't give these people the enjoyment of seeing us unhappy. Be happy that you are blessed with this awareness 💜💜💜💜
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Relate to this. One of my pet hates, people getting phones out at dinners ! Okay from time to time , but God people have an obsession with it these days! I like to relax and enjoy people's company. I do not even have the internet on my phone, i'm not up to date yet, avoiding it as long as possible, ha ha ! My ex used to put photos of us on his social media , i never knew most of the time, weird ! If there was one thing that i wish was in fashion , that would be truly relaxing and enjoying the moment. Thanks Andrew.
The restaurant thing reminds me of my now ex-wife. She used to complain that we didn't go out enough, She always wanted to do the dinner and movie routine, which I am fine with, but no matter what I picked for either all she did was have a fit because something was never right.
At one point I switched it up a bit and told her I would drive and pay for everything, but she had to pick where we ate and what movie we went to. We never went out again after that BY HER CHOICE! 😂
Sounds familiar!
Omg really!
After the narcissist I was married to for 24 years died I was literally shocked that my siblings were exactly like him! They did the exact same thing he did to me for years except they did it first! The gaslighting; the silent treatment the devalue. Everything! How I was so dysfunctional and mind damaged I had no idea that this was a fact to this day I have no idea how I missed the red flags. Now red flags are flying in the wind. I can no longer miss the red flags cause they are all over the place.. I've moved many miles away from them because I intiuitly knew that they were going to finish the job that the narcissist husband tried to do which is to completely destroy me. The red flags literally saved my life!
Thank you for sharing this insight 🙌🙏💯💯
Feeling just a bit unsettled tonight because this time last year I was bringing Christmas gifts to my two granddaughters by marriage. Just after New Year their narcissistic mother abruptly discarded me and permanently cut them off from me.
I know there'll have been a smear campaign against me which will have further disturbed the girls because we had a warm loving relationship and I'd known them since they were born and saw them frequently and took them out.
I think their mother had planned that I would take her side against her husband in their break up as part of the sisterhood and she got furious when I didn't. Really I thought that both of their high dramas would be harmful to the kids.
I did kind of think it was my fault because I knew she had narcissistic tendencies but I thought I could keep my boundaries. I had a narcissistic mother myself and I thought it was a constructive way of using my experience to show the girls an alternative viewpoint. I guess I even thought their mother would respect me because I'm so much older than she is. Not a chance!
I am lucky to have found this channel which has been invaluable. I have done a lot of healing this year and I'm thankful.
Narcissists are so utterly destructive while calmly acting like normal.
I have had to practice Radical Acceptance. My heart goes out to the girls and I hope that on some plane we are still connected by love. They are both bright and talented and although I won't be able to see them thrive, I hope they do.
This message is inspirational and beautiful.. thank you for sharing your growth and understanding..🙌💯🙏💪❤️
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone Thank you Andrew.
This is great: “No” to others, is the “yes “ to us. Thank you, Andrew❤
[Credit: Tahlia Hunter]
Patience visited me
And it reminded me
That good things take time to come to fruition
And grow slowly with stability
Peace visited me
And it reminded me
That I may remain calm through the storms of life
Regardless of the chaos surrounding me
Hope visited me
And it reminded me
That better times lay ahead
And it would always be there to guide and uplift me
Humility visited me
And it reminded me
That I may achieve it
Not by trying to shrink myself and make myself less
But by focusing on serving the world and uplifting those around me
Kindness visited me
And it reminded me
To be more gentle, forgiving and compassionate toward myself
And those surrounding me
Confidence visited me
And it reminded me
To not conceal or suppress my gifts and talents
In order to make others feel more comfortable
But to embrace what makes me me
Focus visited me
And it reminded me
That other people’s insecurities and judgement about me
Are not my problem
And I should redirect my attention
From others back to me
Freedom visited me
And it reminded me
That no one has control over my mindset, thoughts and well-being
But me
And love visited me
And it reminded me
That I need not search for it in others
As it lies within me.
[Words by Tahlia Hunter]
Thank you for sharing this 🙏🙌💯
I was in denial - I knew what narcissism was thanks to my Dad, but I didn't want to see it - even with Red Flags staring me in the face - lying, road rage, talking bad about coworkers and supervisors etc - it's difficult to get out now, I thought I could if it got too bad for me, but now it's almost 10 years and I'm still trying to work my way out - moral of the story, if you know the Red flags, please don't ignore them like I did 💔
I think Andrew is right that we all ignored the red flags for too long and that's why we are here. I was very committed to"for better or worse"
Stay safe. Take care of yourself. 💐
I thought the red flags was just a maturity problem. I don't want anymore problems, lol
I fell deeply in love with a man, who has done all the red flags that you talk about- and he claims he is not toxic 😢
He has drained me emotionally and financially 😢
And it really does change your life. But for the better 😊💯😘🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
Andrew, this may be the best video yet. It explains every trait that a narcissist has and explains it at a level that anybody can easily understand through the examples of those traits. 👍
Im grieving for the last of my siblings and it hurts so bad. It hurts so bad. It hurts so bad. 7 yrs no contact with all of my family except my last brother, and one month no contact with him. I thought there was hope. No, no hope at all. The pain is deep, feels like im giving birth (ive had 5 kids). BUT i have peace and my house is full of love and my children are thriving. Lots of Rasta love from NZ my fellow healers ❤️💛💚
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So sorry not even one salvagable family member! It is sad. I had 3/5 narcs. 2 have passed...parents...and the narc brother whoa the executor. Been brutal and he's triangulate me and my sister. I've Majorly limited contact and keep it only fact based when it comes to estate and use my sister...flying monkey as back channel when I want info to get back to him. Exhausting and sooo painfully disappointing
@@evad9752 🌸💮🌻🌺🌼🌹
@@ruthiedavis8786 🌅🌺🌺🌺
Much love Andrew, you put so much order into the chaos i experienced. God bless you my friend and thank you so much for your work.
Hello there Andrew🤠.. listening to you Andrew, is like Looking into a CRYSTAL BALL.. Thank You. Much Respect👍
You should never ignore your gut that's when your in trouble thanks Andrew very true🥰💚💙💜
My narc would blow up the holidays. Leading up to Christmas he would have this sour puss look on his face and complain about things related to celebrating Christmas. It got to a point where I started to dread holidays. It's not supposed to be that way. He knew I loved the ocean and when I would suggest going, often times he would protest or just make me feel bad about it that it was going to ruin what he wanted to do even though the things that he wanted to do he could do any time during the week. I was very confused because the the roller coaster nature of our relationship. He would say he wanted out of the relationship then the next thing I knew he was taking me out to this fancy restaurant or being sweet to me, maybe buying me something. It did get worse over time and in the end, when I finally got the courage up to leave, he said that he wanted me gone long ago and was mad at me for not leaving sooner. I was emotionally dependent on him and found it very hard to leave. I couldn't take the ups and downs anymore, the devaluing, the rage fits, etc. He claimed that I falsely blamed him for things that he wasn't doing like cheating. However, I had good reason to believe that he was with no real proof but red flags that he was.
Thank you for sharing this 🙌💯🙏
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone Your welcome!
Blessings 💯 My ex Narc was in a relationship with my nextdoor neighbor who happened to be someone I considered a friend and he thought I was going to put up with that crap because I didn't catch them. Well I was more than happy to give both of them the boot sort to speaking, being from Louisiana ❤️✌🏽🙏🏽
Red flags are everywhere. Spot on again Andrew. It's insane how they manipulate...🙌❤️
Thank you 🙏😊
Yes, the red flags. I’ll never overlook ever again. TY Andrew 😊
Welcome 🙏🙌💯
My narc exBF would never bring the presents home that I gave him. He showed no emotion about the presents.
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Thank you for sharing your wisdom 🙏 ❤ big red flags I ignored was them threatening self harm/ violence to get out of their responsibility and " working" 7 days a week even on holidays , I was trying so hard to make them happy I let myself be abused , never again !!!
A monster and this is putting it mildly. DITTO blamed others always and how they were taken advantage of. Exactly saying things like ‘ maybe I’ll get an ugly woman and she’ll do what I want. Exactly or pretending they’re too tired to do the normal activities because they’re too tired. Even will admit that they’re selfish, and that it’s all about them. Even down to controlling everything even the TV, will have picked out what movies we’d watch w/o my input, control control until everything is not worth it. But the moment you decide it’s over they blame everything on you, and it’s crystal clear it’s a lie, and when turn it back on them, they claim they’re sad and have realized the error they made, but it’s all lies.
Fact's I ignored the red flag's in the beginning until it started to get worser.🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
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Great video Andrew. Well when I was in the narcissistic relationship, the red flags were there and I was always in denial, I would think oh he's having a bad day. My instincts all told me to get out leave him. But the narcissist always saw when I was at that point and would sweet talk me into giving it another chance. This wen on up until I was discarded. I just never thought that another human being would treat someone that way. It goes against my nature. Now I see that I should have trusted my instincts, and ran the first chance I got. Now I'm educated and I'm healing and will try to be much more careful. Thanks everyone and thank you Andrew.
Powerful video. Said with passion and clarity. Very good. 👏
You need to back the F up on the age thing.... I was 20 years older, NOT because I am the narc., but because that bastard told me I was beautiful, and his soul mate, age is a number.... He manipulated ME to hang with HIS younger friends.... they come in all sizes, mine was a dwarf...
Hello from Idaho. Thanks Andrew. Having a hard time tonight with past mistakes. These videos help me everyday. All these things are exactly what has happened. Peace❤🩹
I’m sorry you are having a hard time. I hope you can find a way to heal and let go of those past mistakes. It’s good when you can let go of the past and live in the present moment. The press moment is all we really have. Wishing you a brighter future
@@annewilliams5715 Thank you❤️🩹🕊️
It is painful, but you will get through it. You are not alone.
Bingo you nailed it! I’m still SMH that people like this exist who will take to the point of no return and then keep right on doing this like what are you complaining about? Hmmm Honestly it’s hard to get my head around this. The guilt trip undeniable “you just don’t love me” or my fav “ you just don’t believe in me do you?” Geez
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My ex-husband's believed in me though they didn't tell me! They pushed me every step of the way and those "Clowns" are Evil to the Very Core!!! Having offering me ridiculous behavior and Nothing of Value!!! Takers of life, breath and funds!!! I'm leary of most men who say, "Wife and I went our separate ways and we just grew apart." Probably because they pushed, kinived and devalued the very ones they said they would love!!! I got through that silly stuff and it's not that fun to deal with.
Brighter days are ahead!
My last marriage everyone loved me. And then everyone hated me! So true Andrew, thank you! I will never ignore red flags again! Live and learn.
These were all lessons for me to learn and grow from, much love to all 💙💜💚💛
Thank you, Andrew, for this video tonight!I hope you feel better! My mind pointed out the red flags as they were occurring but I chose to ignore the red flags because overall there was an old familiar family pattern playing out in the relationship with the ex and that drew me to the relationship at first. Now that I'm on the healing path and have a strong belief in myself and I listen to my intuition, I wouldn't tolerate that kind of behavior from anyone again. Wishing Andrew and everyone a safe, peaceful night or day depending on where you are. Stay safe and warm if you are living in the US during this time when there is a big storm sweeping across the country. Namaste. 🙏 ❤️ 😇 ❄️ ☔
The biggest red flag I ignored was her constant flirting even during courtship, she had other men in the loop.I should have seen the signs she loved the competitive anxiety
She was horrible to you!😢
@@emilywilson7308 I was the worst that I tolerated her atrocious behaviour .I should have stopped it at the beginning of our relationship .
@@alonzomosley7 it's easy to look back and think what I should have done. At the time it's not apparent.
It has been 9 months since I exited a toxic relationship. Thank God that I have ZERO contact with the narcissist. I can say that I’m definitely healed, and I’m so at peace. I lived decades with a narcissist and I can also say that life is better without a narc. I love the view Andrew, and you look so much happier. I am so glad for you. Take care good friend! Merry Christmas! ❤
Good for you ☺️!
Happy for you
Thank you once again for sharing. I've taken a break from narc content. But this is right on time. Reassurance I'm doing the work. I'm on the healing path. I WAS feeling bad for putting up boundaries, not anymore.
Good job, Lisa🎉
Andrew, my Brother..every one of your Videos are SPOT ON! If I didn't know better, I'd swear that you've Mastered the Subject of Narcissisism through Several Years of Study! 👍😎
Thank you 🙏🙌🙌
Red flags . It seems that all of my biggest relationship problems is from my ignoring the red flags . Sometimes the flags flew high and bright , other times I just noticed the tip twitch . I've always referred to ignoring or choosing to push past the heed to warning as GIVING THE PERSON THE BENEFIT OF DOUBT . I've always liked that about myself , but after decades of not heeding the intuition God has given me, it's time to smarten up and learn from the past and what you're offering here ! Thank you for addressing things intelligently and compassionately. I think you have the gift of edification because you're great at correcting and encouraging and are very kind ! Thank you Andrew ❣️💖🌿🕯️
I love love love the backdrop! It's my birthday today and thinking about things I'd like to do in the future and it reminded me how I've _always_ wanted to sit on a porch in a typical American house like that. It probably sounds crazy as you've probably done it a thousand times, but every time I've been to America I've always stayed in hotels. I've always had a sense that being able to do that when it's your home, would feel so peaceful, safe and comforting. Making me emotional just thinking about it! Thank you Andrew 🙏
Happy birthday 🎂🙌🙏😊💯
Happy Birthday!!!
🎀💖🎁🧁🥳happy birthday Louise, hope you had a great day.💞🥳💝🙏🦊
Happy birthday 🎊
Thank you all 🥰💖🙏
It’s all a game for them…….enough is enough…….I don’t think about these unpleasant things anymore!
Have a happy and blessed holiday season
Merry Christmas 🎄🎄❣️🕊😇🎄❤️
😉💯💯
Thanks Andy needed that 😊 first Christmas without him and I’m still not stressed blinking amazing!
Welcome 🙏🙌😊
You are not alone. ❣
❤️❤️❤️
❤️🙌💯
Out of every media I've read or listened to on narcissism - your channel relays the experience down to a T! Very intelligent and precise as it gets. Keep up the invaluable work!
Thank you 🙏😊🙌
Yes to all of the above!- red flags all over the place but we "hope" that will change I saw the red flags As an empath I knew things were not right I was raised by Narcs so i knew But I kept hoping ,waiting Just maybe things would get better and when you are raised by Narcs you are more excepting of bad behavior and all the things that go with it Rage fits? I was raised in the constant atmosphere of rage fits so again nothing unusual about it Please for those who think things will change I can assure you they will not change NO amount of love you give the Narc will change anything about him/her Get out and do not look back
My best friend in the world invited the ex and I down to visit with her for the day. When we got there he excused himself and sat in her back office working on his laptop (he said he had work to do) the entire time. I remember feeling very embarrassed about his lack of courtesy and social interaction. She offered him food, and he ate the food, but just sat back in her office the whole time. Thinking back now, I wonder whether he was actually working or entertaining other sources of supply there. I just remember it being embarrassing. He never liked or was courteous to any of my friends now I think about it.
Another great video Andrew ❤️. About 98% of your video happened to me with the narc, do they have a secret website or something that they can get tips from as they are nearly all the same? I met a new man on Tuesday for coffee and within 20 minutes I thanked him for that and left…..he was another narc. His life story was parallel to the ex narc I just got away from, way too many red flags and alarm bells going off, even down to using one of his ex wives (divorced 3 times) to buy a house as he didn’t have enough money. The ex narc was divorced 3 times, 3 ex girlfriends including me bought houses with him in 7 years and we all dumped him. I honestly cannot grasp WHY they constantly do this as they end up alone chasing for another one to destroy before times runs out for them, I really couldn’t be bothered. They are a different breed to the rest of us.
Your videos have really shown me what I was up against and I know, that will NEVER happen to me again. Thank you Andrew.👍👍👍
Welcome 🙏💯🙌☀️
You are always on target with your commentary. Perfect. You are helping people become aware of the unhealthy patterns. Congrats.
Narcissist want your money. If they are interested in talking about your money early in relationship, RUN!!!
💯💯😉
A want not a need there is a big difference. Merry Christmas Andy and god bless 🎉🎉🙏🙏🇬🇧🇬🇧
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Yes, continual lies and con artist mentality! Blaming others! Very sick!
😉☀️💯
All of the above Andrew. Thank you. This is of course, in retrospect 😣
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I have a question. My father was just caught doing something. He opened a bank account and pulled a loan under my moms social and used the social for a place to rent! She has not been with this guy for years. She found out when doing a credit check. This narcissist thinks what he is doing is justified? She has not finalized the divorce papers, but is now in the process. it just shocked me how he can just take what he wants.
That seems unlawful, you might want to report it. Keep good records.
@@maried7776 She is worried to do that. in her mind she thinks he will hurt her some way, or divide the family. people at her work know about it and when I looked deeper into the loan it was pulled owing money. He is paying it off behind her back, not to justify his actions though.
My doctor told me I was moments from death last year in the hospital -- my father thought it was nothing and told others it was just a little problem. not one post about my near death, or prayers on his Facebook page -- not one! This is a true narcissist
Blessings 💯 That's what they do, they are not of this world ❤️✌🏽🙏🏽
Oh, but still he did it without her knowing, he’ll do it again if he isn’t stopped regardless. The bank should at least know his scheme. Sorry about your near death experience, your Dad sounds like a narcissist, his actions are telling.
Narc I encountered spent all of his Mom’s money because he felt entitled, it was a joint checking. He served time for that. He got caught, It was very serious. She had very little, but he took it without her knowledge. He’s a convicted felon now, financial abuse of a vulnerable adult. His Mom! He still thinks he did no wrong and he never will. Most, not all, will commit
financial crimes I’ve come to learn.
@@maried7776 I know this sounds messed up, but I truly think the reason he has not filed for divorce himself . MONEY! He cheated on her years back and justified it. When he came to get his things, he brought with him the girl he was cheated with! How twisted can you get? I have talked too her a few times and she wants to get this fixed. Her credit rate took a big hit because of his use of her SS when together. He did not pay rent for 4 months and my mom ended up in a court room while he hid. Thankfully the owner of the home knew about the cheating and theft days before the hearing and dropped the charges.
Red flags won't be ignored again. ❤️
This summing up really resonates with me. Thankyou.
That's my ex to a tee, always blaming her own mum her ex husband and her boss for her anxiety and depression even blaming me for it,this is a women who doesn't even get you a birthday card because you said that you don't need to get me anything just get me a card,all the red flags were their just didn't notice them at the time,and didn't no what narcissism was, another great video alot of lightbulb moments for me🙏
@UCsnV_PC6is-4SWgEfcNgqSA thought this woman was the one for me quiet,looked like I could help her with her anxiety and depression,the total opposite from my grandiose 1st partner turned out she was even more manipulative and deceiving than her,left me homeless and no money and turned everyone against me ,it's hard to think anyone who does something like that doesn't have a consience,even worse how people can't see her for what she is
💡💡💯🙌🙏
Absolutely right again Andrew this narc plays on his up bringing and has played his cards , as I say , to every woman in where he is now. About that he was not wanted as a child . And it's as we know is not true . How low has that narc gone to seek beautiful women that have been vulnerable and are vulnerable as he plays his cards so to speak. Parasite that this narc is. This Parasite has been spotted and Andrew for the greater good I am not alone. His karma from his self is finally catching up on this narc . Because he's brought on this narc self .