Ours is 'Birdemic: Shock and Terror'. Or maybe 'The Room'. Perhaps 'Food Fight'. We've got a lot of them... when you make 75% of the world's movies you're gonna have 75% of the world's shitty movies as well. Most of our movies are fairly average, though, not a huge variation in quality from feature to feature. Hong Kong, however... each movie is either completely fantastic or totally unwatchable garbage. Not very many 5/10 movies there.
"11 plot lines" Considering the the movie is 1 hour and 36 minutes long, that would mean that evenly divided, each plot would need to take 8 minutes and 43-44 seconds to complete.
@@kamiya4700 yeah, i mean even a video game can only have so many plot lines before it becomes a mess. I can't imagine how a director/script writer can cram those 11 plot lines into 2 hour movie and still coherent
I have read much better SI fanfic than this. I've read a New York LARPer get badly beat up by an actual fantasy villain and then win by distracting the villain with a stream of profane poetry until an actual fantasy hero could save him, and have to go the rest of the story with a broken arm. I've read a man trapped on an alien planet have to contemplate suicide when his last possible way home is shut off forever. This film is a half-assed insult to self-insertion.
This just goes to show you that every country has weird vanity projects that are basically glorified fan fiction with incredibly tone deaf storytelling
I read enough Chinese Light Novel for 10 years to tell you the recent few years, the quality of most Light Novel drop down so much, it is basically stealing the popular plots and mix them together and continue to do this on so many Light Novel.
@The Stammering Dunce That is correct. If anything, I respect the passion behind it. That's why I never made fun of Neil Breen. His movie may look bad (and have questionable moral lessons), but at least the dude is trying to do good.
$200 to be exact. That is pocket lint compared to the budgets of Hollywood films. But yeah, it's got heart and Bad Black was half documentary on how terrible life is in Uganda's slums and half zany action and honestly more memorable than most movies I saw last year.
@Hoàng Nguyên One minute I'm legitimately depressed at the classism and poverty the film is presenting the next minute I'm laughing because the little boy is beating the shit out of the American.
"The camera is practically licking that DJ's body." Thank you I now have a way to describe gross camera shots in films when people ask "Why what grosses you out about *insert scene*?!"
@@AccentedCinemaall the suppliers for their props, cars locations etc might came from vendors connected to the investors, in a way the money went back to their pockets
my thoughts exactly ...usually they buy paintings worth 3mil that are just paint splashed around...this is one of the more convoluted money laundering schemes XD
Dude, you are telling me: 1. You actually finished this "movie" 2. AND you come up a 13 mins video essay about it. while I cannot even listen 10 seconds of this thing's theme song...what more can I say？ 纯爷们，牛逼
Accented Cinema: ...But you're not here for the comedy, you're here for a video essay. *proceeds to make me laugh continuously for the rest of the video*
@@saltissalty3498 Amy Schumer, intends to be funny but fails miserably Accented Cinema, intends to not be funny but fails spectacularly (and that's a good thing)
When the "experts" are only willing to give vague and nonspecific compliments, that tells you that the movie is bad, yes. Damning by faint praise, indeed.
As somebody with Chinese-language abilities that are good enough to watch Chinese cinema, but not good enough to engage in any deep Chinese-language analysis of it, I'm really glad to have found your channel. It's excellent.
For what it's worth, this movie has exceptionally well done subtitles... We can definitely watch it together. Just... Let me take a break from it first.
I'm in. Let me know the day and time. I got two young kids so no time to visit the Cinema, no 1917, no once upon a time in Hollywood, but yes for this!
@@AccentedCinema The film in itself is a crime against humanity and a human rights violation... Makes the Uyghur camps, Tiannamen Square Massacre, and the Hong Kong protests look like a kid's movie
@@surprisinglyblank2392 lacking artist vision and trying to copy shitty American movie formulas such as overly patriotic action war movies, cgi filled sci fi/fantasy franchises, and stupid offensive "comedies" like the one in the video. Russia and China use to make masterpieces like "Solaris" and "In The Mood For Love", but have seriously devolved in recent years.
I'm half chinese, and grew up watching chinese/hk movies from bruce lee, jackie chan, jet li, donnie yen, tony leung, chow yun fat, stephen chow, andy lau, aaron kwok, ekin cheng. last masterpiece from a chinese movie i watched was "infernal affair" that Hollywood adapted as the "the departed" after that south korean films takes over.
@Hoàng Nguyên the problem is... chinese/hk movies nowadays tries too hard to immitate Hollywood films. even if they have great cgi or big budget. it still lacking something, feels like they've lost their own identity. watch this he explains it very well in his video ruclips.net/video/VY5OJEMs59g/видео.html
I'm not even chinese but I watch almost all the actors you mentioned. Chinese movie was soooo internationally appreciated, at least from my point of view and in my country (I was born in 1997). But nowadays I just watch the chinese movie if those senior actors played in it or the one I find interesting, and that's not many (I love action movies so idk about other genre). Though I do have some of my favorite new chinese actors.
@@letssmile3564 yes before hk movies were the best. comedy, action, horror, gore(remember those movies where the killer made his victims into human buns lol) now i don't know anymore, i just lost interest.
I can't believe the ending. It is like someone left an autosaved project in their editing software and dug it up 7 years later, didn't watch it and attached it to flaunt their resume movie to show 'look what kind of camera work I can do!". What is supposed to happen in the bloody scene????????
This reminds me of the film making project we made back in high school. We only made it for the grades, not because we wanted to make a compelling story.
I guess the aspect of this film that makes me angriest is that the actors in it were unpaid, on a film that had a 3 million dollar budget. That's pure exploitation to me, even if the actors were probably promised that the "exposure" would be good for their careers or something else like that. That happens so much to actors and other sorts of artists around the world, and I think it's wrong to do that if one has the money to pay them, and chooses not to.
2:49 THAT is dance sequences ? That's more like those old-timer gymnastics that is only used by boomer neighborhood, and that's me actually being nice on this.
"When your desire in life isn't to pursue the substance. When you only want to keep up the image, your worst qualities will never go away, and they will manifest." The most philosophical thing you've ever said.
...So how many times did you force yourself to watch this steaming pile? Also, 11 separate plotlines and not once did he think to merge them and crisscross them with that many character dynamics/relationships interacting with other before culminating into one massive trainwreck with the teacher doing his damndest to sort through the mess. See? It's not hard, that's a challenge right there, it even becomes meta at one point. Good lord, I feel bad for those actors that didn't get paid through the director's colossal ego trip. He deserves the backlash.
It took me 3 viewings to finish the movie. The notes where 300 lines long. In between session 2 and session 3, I finished the Chinese Animation episode. It is that hard to watch.
A collection of inconsequential scenes trying to conjure the image of more successful films, with musical numbers and dance scenes? It's like Chinese Bollywood. Beijywood.
4:04 oh wow So I just want to say that this looks awfully familiar Person gets injury and ends up in hospital, only to have the head wrapped with a spot of blood on it even though they weren't hit in the head Oh that's right, bollywood. You see this exact scene everywhere
This reminds me of that director from my country who used the "Karya Anak Bangsa" (Local Kid's Masterpiece) trope for her movies. And instead of getting close to other professional movie workers, she used the government to advertise her movie. She claimed that her movie was nominated in Oscar, but in reality it wasn't that true. She has been mocked by like, every local movie critics. One time, she appears in a Q&A show where she got questioned by other directors with high profile and well-known movies. That show makes her name worsen. Lately, she created a movie about a religion based schools, and shown the trailer. But, the story aspect was heavily incorrect with the reality, and she just produced trailer first without the whole movie was done. Frickin' hell.
@@inconemay1441 Bali : Beats of Paradise. She even got asked with many questions in front of senior directors at one local TV show. Little by little her own incompetence is shown from there.
"We were inspired by the Hall of Mirror in Versailles!" Yes, if the Hall of Mirror was a goddamn outhouse! But a damn good expensive looking one nonetheless!
And good news is coming: Spoiler: In the actual conclusion, teacher finally secured his fund of film making for his students, with one of the stacy-turned-clean as protagonist. Then it succed, teacher get married, etc.
3:00 Bro what-the-fuck that is an amazing joke. I heard it like "Written and Directed by: Are You Fucking Suprised" and I was expecting a Chinese name but it isn't even a Chinese name joke it's a egomaniacal director joke. That was awesome lol.
@@No-hf5xb Oh, let me explain. He is film maker. And saw someone who just a narsistic and incompetent writer director ans also Main actor in the movie can make a movie like this and funded 3M USD. He offended because as film maker, he imagine what movie he can do with that budget. What story he can make.
So the director went through all the difficulties of his life to became a director , just to fullfill one of his dream from his teenagerhood. talking about waste of industry resourse and air. this seriously makes me mad .....可真是苦了你
Director : People nowadays only care about pretty face. Plot? Why do we need that shit? Just insert all of the popular tropes, show those hungry boy some skin , and show girl handsome man and muscle then people would buy our shit! This is one of the way of thinking that caused movie become shittier by the day.
A generation of Chinese grew up with Yugo films. They can even recite the lines (in Chinese). I am hoping he will talk about this phenomenon in the future too.
You are delivering such spicy commentary, you have such a chip on your shoulder about this film, I'm Howling with laughter as I watch this, I have so many tears, this is beautiful. It's like you are so incredibly irritated with it, it's delicious, your pain.
3:48, the way how movies and in this particular one on how a man saves another person from a disaster is by shifting places instead of just pulling the endangered person out of the way rendering both people safe is already a death penalty to this movie
“I’ve seen darkness” 👍🏼❤️❤️❤️😂🤣👍🏼. Ok, there is a movie called Fame. There’s one call Flashdance. There is Drumlime. The are many good movies and this writer director failed at ripping off a good movie.
The part where the good boy suddenly losing his legs was just flat out bewildering. What kind of director just decides all of a sudden that he should be losing his leg without any form of background or events whatsoever. Thanks for letting me learn the lowest of the Chinese movies. Hope to see more.
3:02 “The main story, I think…is about the teacher played by the writer-director, Are-You-F*cking-Surprised” Bruh I thought the whole name is “Aryu Fo-qing Xo-prīs” LMAO
I realized you weren't aiming for comedy, and making this forced you to relive a traumatic experience, but MAN did you manifest your pain in the funniest way possible. I would feel bad for laughing, but you seem to have a good sense of humor so I'm going to assuage myself by assuming the humor was intentional. :D Also, are you aware that the background music for the beginning of Chapter For (around the 10:00 mark to about 11:09) is a jazz, improv-filled version of "Take Me Out To The Ball Game"? It's such an out-of-place choice that it distracted me from the video, so I have to ask if that was intentional or not.
I know this is a horrible movie but damn that car accident scene was so brutal. At least it was to me because I really don't want to imagine getting my legs crushed by a delivery truck.
06:21 The problem isn't the curse word... it's the fact that the word "doesn't" is not spelled correctly. In the words of the AVGN: "Didn't anyone proof read this shit?"
This movie basically is a true reflection of the current Chinese culture - all pomp, no substance. It really hurts people when they see the reflection they always avoided.
I decided to watch this movie after I saw this review. The worst part for me is when we're near the conclusion of the story, for whatever reason, it's also telling the story of one of the student who keep losing his money just to meet his girlfriend. As bad as they were, I can understand why the director put everything else in the movie. But the one I mentioned before? I can't, not even in the slightest.
@@AccentedCinema I googled and found that they have similar title desgin, like lots and lots chinese movies, and TV shows, and product packages. Why on earth this kind of typography is so overused in China ?
2:29 I think he tried say "womanisers" instead of "chads". A womaniser is a man who has a reputation for being promiscuous and having a lot of sexual relationships or affairs with women. The term is typically used to describe men who are not interested in pursuing long-term or committed relationships and instead prefer to engage in casual sexual encounters. The term is often associated with a negative connotation, implying that the man is dishonest or manipulative in his relationships with women.
This movie is inspired by the hall of mirrors in Versailles
*... Also Donald Trump's bathroom*
*Confused Constance Wu face*
Awfully true
I heard this comment in the accent
Took the words right out of my mouth as soon as I came to the comments haha!
I love the idea that every country has its own national "worst movie ever"
What's your country's worst movie?
timepickle I'm not even sure, most of my country's movies and stuff are mediocre or bad
Ours is 'Birdemic: Shock and Terror'. Or maybe 'The Room'. Perhaps 'Food Fight'. We've got a lot of them... when you make 75% of the world's movies you're gonna have 75% of the world's shitty movies as well. Most of our movies are fairly average, though, not a huge variation in quality from feature to feature. Hong Kong, however... each movie is either completely fantastic or totally unwatchable garbage. Not very many 5/10 movies there.
I'm from the Philippines and a lot of movies there particularly mainstream are some of the worst movies you could ever see
timepickle most Malay movies are just crap
The only good one is probably ejen ali
"11 plot lines"
Considering the the movie is 1 hour and 36 minutes long, that would mean that evenly divided, each plot would need to take 8 minutes and 43-44 seconds to complete.
Which can be achieved with good writing! What this director did was hilariously cringe
and here i thought Octopath Traveler with 8 plot lines are bonkers
@@alvinvin00A Video game can last as long as the developer wanted to (will it be fun to play or not is depend) but a movie can’t last that long
But yeah with good writing, it’s possible even though I don’t know how
@@kamiya4700 yeah, i mean even a video game can only have so many plot lines before it becomes a mess. I can't imagine how a director/script writer can cram those 11 plot lines into 2 hour movie and still coherent
you should swear in chinese in the next video 😉
holy shit my man Ranton also watches this small-time but soon to be big-time youtuber whose content I love very much?
Feels so fucking good man.
Greetings, chinese comrade.
Holyshit what's up Ranton! Just a subscriber passing through...
臭傻逼导演like this
you bet entire international Chinese never even heard or see this movie before.
Me, a Chinese, seeing the tumbnail: Hm, can't recognize that one. I wonder if I know this...
Me, seeing the title of the movie: *Ah yes, that shit.*
truly a masterpieceofshit
LOL
how do you have youtube?
@@geralt8394 i live in europe
@Fk Ff bro ive been living here long before covid
You know a Movie is terrible
when Accented Cinema says its garbage and curses in a video
“Baby is sad, but baby dosen’t give a shit” (yes the misspelling was present in the original title card. I wheezed so hard when I saw it myself.
@@wakipaiconnoiseur9226 emphasis on the word SHIT
Honestly this looks like one of the 80s Hollywood B movies that were made for no reason other than to launder dirty money.
Now you are on to something here
That's a good enough reason to do one movie 😂
You forgot about cocaine, the mother of bad ideas and half assed works turned reality
That's exactly it
It appears that a LOT of the Chinese movies are just for that purpose. I read someplace that 95% of all Chinese movies lose money.
This is basically a self insert fanfic story of the director.
ikr XD
I think the director is from a wholly screwed up yet ultra rich psychopathic family.
even some wattpad fanfics are better than this.
I have read much better SI fanfic than this. I've read a New York LARPer get badly beat up by an actual fantasy villain and then win by distracting the villain with a stream of profane poetry until an actual fantasy hero could save him, and have to go the rest of the story with a broken arm. I've read a man trapped on an alien planet have to contemplate suicide when his last possible way home is shut off forever. This film is a half-assed insult to self-insertion.
Like most vanity project. At least some vanity project can be unintentionally funny
Your stoicism left the room the moment this movie came in.
His Temper and Patience: Gone
Accented Cinema's sanity: Ight Imma Head Out
I thought when he sees the poster
we need more videos like this where his professionalism just breaks down into a white mush
Hell, Marcus Aurelius (OG Stoic) himself would go on the warpath after seeing this garbage.
“The worst Chinese movie ever”
...as of today
Yeah, They are still making all those pointless Chinese New Year comedy stuff and those can only get worse and worse every years
@@askovtk4834 And those terrible Chinese mythical romance movies.
seems like a good movie.. this movie should be called the Biography of the Harvey Weinstein of China..
@saberspark downwards spiral nooooo
More cheesy WWII dramas have yet to come
This just goes to show you that every country has weird vanity projects that are basically glorified fan fiction with incredibly tone deaf storytelling
I thought of it sounding like terrible fanfiction as well!!
Who somehow gets funding for the project even if the story is stupid......smh just how is that possible?!
The worst global inequality gets, the more deranged spectacles we'll have. The doco tickled is a good example of the phenomenon.
@@haiqal5333 if you wanna see the American equivalent, watch a Neil Breen movie.
I read enough Chinese Light Novel for 10 years to tell you the recent few years, the quality of most Light Novel drop down so much, it is basically stealing the popular plots and mix them together and continue to do this on so many Light Novel.
African movies look better than this like "Who Killed Captain Alex?" and that cost $5 or less to make.
@The Stammering Dunce That is correct. If anything, I respect the passion behind it. That's why I never made fun of Neil Breen. His movie may look bad (and have questionable moral lessons), but at least the dude is trying to do good.
$200 to be exact. That is pocket lint compared to the budgets of Hollywood films. But yeah, it's got heart and Bad Black was half documentary on how terrible life is in Uganda's slums and half zany action and honestly more memorable than most movies I saw last year.
@Hoàng Nguyên One minute I'm legitimately depressed at the classism and poverty the film is presenting the next minute I'm laughing because the little boy is beating the shit out of the American.
I would pay bucks to watch that captain Alex movie..far more entertaining.
heeey he did it
"The camera is practically licking that DJ's body."
Thank you I now have a way to describe gross camera shots in films when people ask "Why what grosses you out about *insert scene*?!"
"I wonder if I'm gonna see the Crazy Rich Asians hall of mirrors joke aga-"
"WE WERE INSPIRED-"
Ah yes
as a Chinese, I'm shocked that there is someone who really watches this movie.
Sometimes we need to watch bad movies to appreciate the good ones even more
He does it so you don’t have to
@Fk Ff hua mu lan of Disney ? Jesus Christ, that's a disaster.
Hey wait a minute!
how tf does BTS perform better than these guys??
Plot twist : The film is just the mafia laundering black money.
It flopped and made back 1/10 of its budget. If it is, it failed and the the world is now a better place.
@@AccentedCinemaall the suppliers for their props, cars locations etc might came from vendors connected to the investors, in a way the money went back to their pockets
my thoughts exactly ...usually they buy paintings worth 3mil that are just paint splashed around...this is one of the more convoluted money laundering schemes XD
@@AccentedCinema oof
You're more likely to see that in Bollywood these days.
"BABY IS SAD, BUT BABY
DOESN' T GIVE A SHIT
Accented Cinema: *cries*
11:21 It's Way Worst. They wrote: DOSEN' T
@@jesaispasvraimentquoiecrireici Also "..BLIT BABY..".
Even if the grammar was good the line still feel like something directly ripped of from toddler level English learning book XD
When he mentioned "Chads" I was dead, then the "Stacys" show up I reincarnated
"i feel it's not a music video, but a future blackmail video" lmao
"It's not a home, it's a leased apartment!"- every Chinese man's nightmare.
Remember me I made it 100
@@pawaratharva6371 I made it 3
6:20 'Chapter 3 : Baby is sad, but baby dosen' t give a sh*t.'
The typo really shows him didn't give a sh*t.
Dose!
*doesn't
blit baby
True words of wisdom
Dude, you are telling me: 1. You actually finished this "movie" 2. AND you come up a 13 mins video essay about it. while I cannot even listen 10 seconds of this thing's theme song...what more can I say？ 纯爷们，牛逼
The song is looping in my head right now. Send help.
@@AccentedCinema Your precious back catalog won't save you now.
@@AccentedCinema the ccp agrees. Your credit point has gone up by 10 . Have a great time.
Accented Cinema: ...But you're not here for the comedy, you're here for a video essay.
*proceeds to make me laugh continuously for the rest of the video*
It ended up as both
6:23 his reaction man that caught me off guard and this is my second time watching his video about this
@The Stammering Dunce meanwhile, some stand-up comedians out there aren't funny at all.
dedicaetd to the memory of my dignity and my sanity
@@saltissalty3498 Amy Schumer, intends to be funny but fails miserably
Accented Cinema, intends to not be funny but fails spectacularly (and that's a good thing)
When the "experts" are only willing to give vague and nonspecific compliments, that tells you that the movie is bad, yes. Damning by faint praise, indeed.
Yeah it seems the crappy reviewers is a worldwide fenomenon
Expert: it has a good title...
And to mention they dont get the humor or what the movie is like that. Immediately brands it as bad movie
“The Chapter titles are very well done”
Oh my god… that’s hilarious
As somebody with Chinese-language abilities that are good enough to watch Chinese cinema, but not good enough to engage in any deep Chinese-language analysis of it, I'm really glad to have found your channel. It's excellent.
That‘s mainly because most of the people can't finish watching even 2 minutes of this shitty movie. Respect this RUclipsr.
The fact that you're usually so professional makes the hatred even funnier.
"The main story, I think, is about a teacher played by the writer-director R U F**ken Surprised?" This video is hilarious and insightful.
ikr XD
So... when are we going to do a watch party (the room style).
For what it's worth, this movie has exceptionally well done subtitles... We can definitely watch it together. Just... Let me take a break from it first.
@@AccentedCinema lmao, sounds like a plan. Watch it on April Fools or sometime similar xD
I'm in. Let me know the day and time. I got two young kids so no time to visit the Cinema, no 1917, no once upon a time in Hollywood, but yes for this!
@@AccentedCinema The film in itself is a crime against humanity and a human rights violation... Makes the Uyghur camps, Tiannamen Square Massacre, and the Hong Kong protests look like a kid's movie
@@AccentedCinema you should swear more often. It's hilarious
The more I watch you, the more similarities I see between contemporary Chinese and Russian movie industry.
As a Russian, I thought the same thing.
I'm not familiar with with current Russian cinema. What aspects do you find similar between the two?
@@surprisinglyblank2392 lacking artist vision and trying to copy shitty American movie formulas such as overly patriotic action war movies, cgi filled sci fi/fantasy franchises, and stupid offensive "comedies" like the one in the video.
Russia and China use to make masterpieces like "Solaris" and "In The Mood For Love", but have seriously devolved in recent years.
Same can be said about Japanese as well.
@@raccoonjs6437 I can't speak for Japanese live action film industry, but Anime is thriving and filled with original and creative ideas.
So this is movie equivalent of the “Fyre Festival” party.
The Fyre Fest of films
Internet historian?
I think I laughed way too much and loudly watching this--what a shift in tone of voice from your analysis of Parasite!
Keep up the good reviews!
The author managed to publish a film with a plot of... pornography? That's quite an achievement in China lol.
"We were inspired by the hall of mirrors in Versailles"
This is a stunning and important video.
We see this type of film far more often than we should.
Thank you for your work, as always.
6:22 "Baby is sad, but Baby doesn't give a shit." I feel like that's what the movie editor or translator wants to say about the movie
Accidentally said the quiet part out loud.
Dosen’t *
@@hatpal2287 ???
@@mr.prince6980 there is a typo in the actual movie
@@hatpal2287 omg! I just saw it....
I'm half chinese, and grew up watching chinese/hk movies from bruce lee, jackie chan, jet li, donnie yen, tony leung, chow yun fat, stephen chow, andy lau, aaron kwok, ekin cheng. last masterpiece from a chinese movie i watched was "infernal affair" that Hollywood adapted as the "the departed"
after that south korean films takes over.
@Hoàng Nguyên the problem is... chinese/hk movies nowadays tries too hard to immitate Hollywood films. even if they have great cgi or big budget. it still lacking something, feels like they've lost their own identity.
watch this he explains it very well in his video
ruclips.net/video/VY5OJEMs59g/видео.html
@array s yes spot on! fuck em!
HK films were so much better than mainland films it seems
Not sure now
I'm not even chinese but I watch almost all the actors you mentioned. Chinese movie was soooo internationally appreciated, at least from my point of view and in my country (I was born in 1997). But nowadays I just watch the chinese movie if those senior actors played in it or the one I find interesting, and that's not many (I love action movies so idk about other genre). Though I do have some of my favorite new chinese actors.
@@letssmile3564 yes before hk movies were the best. comedy, action, horror, gore(remember those movies where the killer made his victims into human buns lol) now i don't know anymore, i just lost interest.
2:29 The term that I would recommend is "dude bros"
Would keep that in mind!
Fuckboys/Fuckboi is a better term in my opinion.
That's a useless term.
douchebags
Chadbags.
Man I hope the Versailles bit lives on in your videos, even if it's like every third video.
A BAT CREDIT CARD?!?!?!?!
I can't believe the ending. It is like someone left an autosaved project in their editing software and dug it up 7 years later, didn't watch it and attached it to flaunt their resume movie to show 'look what kind of camera work I can do!". What is supposed to happen in the bloody scene????????
In Indonesia we have “Livi Zheng”. An Indonesian-Chinese narsistic director. This man as same as Livi.
Agreed 100%
Ah....livi zheng,the delusional oscar girl
Meizar Farizky Brush With Danger
I love how Joko Anwar and the other senior Indonesian directors roasted her on live TV, yet all of their criticism flying over her head
don't forget about Rafathar the Movie too :D
This reminds me of the film making project we made back in high school. We only made it for the grades, not because we wanted to make a compelling story.
Atleast that had a purpose, this film is purely to boost the directors' ego
I guess the aspect of this film that makes me angriest is that the actors in it were unpaid, on a film that had a 3 million dollar budget. That's pure exploitation to me, even if the actors were probably promised that the "exposure" would be good for their careers or something else like that. That happens so much to actors and other sorts of artists around the world, and I think it's wrong to do that if one has the money to pay them, and chooses not to.
*"In memories of my dignity"*
Rest in peace, Yang's dignity.
2:49 THAT is dance sequences ? That's more like those old-timer gymnastics that is only used by boomer neighborhood, and that's me actually being nice on this.
the movie poster looks like a 10 year old discovering that you can use more than words in ms word
Minute 1: “That’s the f*cking poster?”
Minute 2: “That’s the f*cking song?”
I just can’t stop f*cking laughing
That's the fucking title? _Dose n't_ _Shit_
"When your desire in life isn't to pursue the substance. When you only want to keep up the image, your worst qualities will never go away, and they will manifest."
The most philosophical thing you've ever said.
I salute your bravery and dignity for sitting through this whole film. Thank you for your service.
This movie costs 3M!
Mulan: Hold my beer
Cuties: Hold my Pepsi
@@manvithharikiran2675 you literally have child twerking. It's basically just made for child predators.
@@tryomama Yeah but at least it has a coherent plotline unlike this movie
@@mr.worldwide4758 it's both very offensive. One is morally and the other is both morally and film making. Still a no
@@manvithharikiran2675 Cuties is too badly executed beyond redemption.
Better to behead myself with a chainsaw than to watch Cuties imo.
This video is sponsored by the hall of mirrors in Versailles
The whole thing about men in showbiz wanting to date women WAY younger than them just piss me off so much 🤮🤮🤮
And that's what we know about, imagine these dude's basements
@@maximuffin6395 😖😖😖
I’m pissed off by that psychopathic Director, who is basically the Sino Weinstein king.
...So how many times did you force yourself to watch this steaming pile?
Also, 11 separate plotlines and not once did he think to merge them and crisscross them with that many character dynamics/relationships interacting with other before culminating into one massive trainwreck with the teacher doing his damndest to sort through the mess. See? It's not hard, that's a challenge right there, it even becomes meta at one point.
Good lord, I feel bad for those actors that didn't get paid through the director's colossal ego trip. He deserves the backlash.
It took me 3 viewings to finish the movie. The notes where 300 lines long. In between session 2 and session 3, I finished the Chinese Animation episode. It is that hard to watch.
A collection of inconsequential scenes trying to conjure the image of more successful films, with musical numbers and dance scenes?
It's like Chinese Bollywood.
Beijywood.
4:04 oh wow
So I just want to say that this looks awfully familiar
Person gets injury and ends up in hospital, only to have the head wrapped with a spot of blood on it even though they weren't hit in the head
Oh that's right, bollywood. You see this exact scene everywhere
This reminds me of that director from my country who used the "Karya Anak Bangsa" (Local Kid's Masterpiece) trope for her movies. And instead of getting close to other professional movie workers, she used the government to advertise her movie. She claimed that her movie was nominated in Oscar, but in reality it wasn't that true. She has been mocked by like, every local movie critics. One time, she appears in a Q&A show where she got questioned by other directors with high profile and well-known movies. That show makes her name worsen.
Lately, she created a movie about a religion based schools, and shown the trailer. But, the story aspect was heavily incorrect with the reality, and she just produced trailer first without the whole movie was done.
Frickin' hell.
Which movie is it?
@@inconemay1441 Bali : Beats of Paradise. She even got asked with many questions in front of senior directors at one local TV show. Little by little her own incompetence is shown from there.
Ahh Livi Zheng, you are not the only one talking about it here lol.
"We were inspired by the Hall of Mirror in Versailles!"
Yes, if the Hall of Mirror was a goddamn outhouse! But a damn good expensive looking one nonetheless!
Ah yes, the Trump bathroom.
FUN FACT: French nobles once used to pee in the hallways...
"And good news is coming"
...This guy planning sequel or something or that just bad translation?
There was a sequel planned. Not sure if it's in active development, but he has the intention.
@@AccentedCinema God help us all then
@@AccentedCinema Well, allegedly, it took 12 years to ferment this piece. I don't think the sequel would be coming soon. Or...... is it?
@@AccentedCinema Wait.... Someone put money on a second movie of this?!
And good news is coming:
Spoiler:
In the actual conclusion, teacher finally secured his fund of film making for his students, with one of the stacy-turned-clean as protagonist. Then it succed, teacher get married, etc.
3:00
Bro what-the-fuck that is an amazing joke. I heard it like
"Written and Directed by: Are You Fucking Suprised"
and I was expecting a Chinese name but it isn't even a Chinese name joke it's a egomaniacal director joke. That was awesome lol.
glad you're back, after watching this, there are so many "why?" question pop up in my mind right now
I love how you really offended in this video.
I can really see why. Because you are film maker.
And see someone who make this film like this feels insulting to you.
@@No-hf5xb Oh, let me explain. He is film maker. And saw someone who just a narsistic and incompetent writer director ans also Main actor in the movie can make a movie like this and funded 3M USD.
He offended because as film maker, he imagine what movie he can do with that budget. What story he can make.
LMAOO this review was gold! Please review more horrible movies for our sake and give us more content like this! 10/10
So the director went through all the difficulties of his life to became a director , just to fullfill one of his dream from his teenagerhood.
talking about waste of industry resourse and air. this seriously makes me mad
.....可真是苦了你
Director : People nowadays only care about pretty face. Plot? Why do we need that shit? Just insert all of the popular tropes, show those hungry boy some skin , and show girl handsome man and muscle then people would buy our shit!
This is one of the way of thinking that caused movie become shittier by the day.
7:14 this is something that interests me. Why does it seem that Chinese movies like to show 'making of' or 'bloopers' clips in the credit scenes?
I heard that Yugoslavian WW2 films, or at the least Valter defends Sarajevo, are very popular in China. Any chance you would cover that?
A generation of Chinese grew up with Yugo films. They can even recite the lines (in Chinese). I am hoping he will talk about this phenomenon in the future too.
I am interested to hear as well.
"what's your movie about"
"yes"
At 4:59 the caption says Jay Roach directed 'I Spit on Your Grave' (2010) but it was Steven R. Monroe, Roach directed 'Dinner for Schmucks' that year.
2:47 well, that choreographer is never getting hired again
You are delivering such spicy commentary, you have such a chip on your shoulder about this film, I'm Howling with laughter as I watch this, I have so many tears, this is beautiful. It's like you are so incredibly irritated with it, it's delicious, your pain.
"I got the results of my test back, I definitely lost both of my legs pushing granny out of the way."
My sister: Mom, can we watch Crazy Rich Asians?
Mom: We already have Crazy Rich Asians at home.
Crazy Rich Asians at home:
This is the best channel on RUclips. So happy I found this.
...I feel like I just got flexed on by a whole movie...
A fantastic Chinese New Year gift. Thank you AC!
Must be extremely difficult to choose which Chinese movie is the worst. So many worst movies to choose from.
10:53 You know it's bad when an idol sarcastically said that
3:48, the way how movies and in this particular one on how a man saves another person from a disaster is by shifting places instead of just pulling the endangered person out of the way rendering both people safe is already a death penalty to this movie
I knew someone had to talk about this ever since I noticed it
“I’ve seen darkness” 👍🏼❤️❤️❤️😂🤣👍🏼. Ok, there is a movie called Fame. There’s one call Flashdance. There is Drumlime. The are many good movies and this writer director failed at ripping off a good movie.
Stop adding things to my list OMG, I'm like a fly on top of a pile of sh*t, I just can't resist lol.
The most funy thing is from director: I want to provide something new to audience. And I think this moive can reach to 7/10 score...
The part where the good boy suddenly losing his legs was just flat out bewildering. What kind of director just decides all of a sudden that he should be losing his leg without any form of background or events whatsoever. Thanks for letting me learn the lowest of the Chinese movies. Hope to see more.
Must have had some beef with the director ahahaha
thank you! i have seen SO MANY bad "western" films, it's good to see bad movies from other places too! 8D
3:02 “The main story, I think…is about the teacher played by the writer-director, Are-You-F*cking-Surprised”
Bruh I thought the whole name is “Aryu Fo-qing Xo-prīs” LMAO
I realized you weren't aiming for comedy, and making this forced you to relive a traumatic experience, but MAN did you manifest your pain in the funniest way possible. I would feel bad for laughing, but you seem to have a good sense of humor so I'm going to assuage myself by assuming the humor was intentional. :D
Also, are you aware that the background music for the beginning of Chapter For (around the 10:00 mark to about 11:09) is a jazz, improv-filled version of "Take Me Out To The Ball Game"? It's such an out-of-place choice that it distracted me from the video, so I have to ask if that was intentional or not.
Suggestion: can you analyze Shanghai fortress? It can be the prime example of what's wrong with Chinese sci-fi blockbusters
I know this is a horrible movie but damn that car accident scene was so brutal. At least it was to me because I really don't want to imagine getting my legs crushed by a delivery truck.
3:05
writer director: Aryou Fhiking Surprised
God, the behind-the-scenes production story is giving me serious Channel Awesome vibes.
3:42 thats why you dont avoid a isekai death.
06:21 The problem isn't the curse word... it's the fact that the word "doesn't" is not spelled correctly.
In the words of the AVGN: "Didn't anyone proof read this shit?"
No joke, when i first saw this """"movie"""", for about its first 15 minutes runtime, i thought it was a low budget indie softcore p*rn.
This movie basically is a true reflection of the current Chinese culture - all pomp, no substance. It really hurts people when they see the reflection they always avoided.
I decided to watch this movie after I saw this review. The worst part for me is when we're near the conclusion of the story, for whatever reason, it's also telling the story of one of the student who keep losing his money just to meet his girlfriend.
As bad as they were, I can understand why the director put everything else in the movie. But the one I mentioned before? I can't, not even in the slightest.
The briefest title possible for this "movie" is: How Not to Enter Showbiz.
It slightly restores my faith in humanity to realize how the love/hate relationship with cinematic trash is a global phenomenon.
I'm so glad that I recently discovered you
top tier quality content my friend! keep it up :D
Darn, and I was betting on Shanghai Fortress, too.
Bilibili is full of uploaders crapping on it and all the ways that it's bad, too.
In terms of big name crap movies, I'd put 2013's Switch on top of Shanghai Fortress.
@@AccentedCinema I googled and found that they have similar title desgin, like lots and lots chinese movies, and TV shows, and product packages. Why on earth this kind of typography is so overused in China ?
2:29 I think he tried say "womanisers" instead of "chads". A womaniser is a man who has a reputation for being promiscuous and having a lot of sexual relationships or affairs with women. The term is typically used to describe men who are not interested in pursuing long-term or committed relationships and instead prefer to engage in casual sexual encounters. The term is often associated with a negative connotation, implying that the man is dishonest or manipulative in his relationships with women.
What a climactically satisfying end leaving you to imagine what could never have been.
7:50 what is that song called?
This film is really famous in China.when any new movie is bad,people will talk about which one is worse.