Lancashire Dialect Poem - Northern English Accent

"Doubtin' Thomas" is a funny poem about a rather overweight cat written in Lancashire dialect by Ailsa A. Haydock in 2007. Sadly Ailsa passed away in the Autumn of 2018, but we hope that this work will help to preserve some of the rich and unique heritage found in this beautiful English dialect.
Here is Ailsa's poem in full:
DOUBTIN` THOMAS
Eaur Mark ’as a kitten named Thomas,
’e’s ‘ad it for well-nigh a year,
When’ front door’s ajar, it never goes far -
Explorin’ in’ gardens round ’ere.
Now, Mark ’ad a problem wi’ Thomas,
Its meyltimes all rolled into one;
No sooner ’ad Mark put its food down,
Than, quick as a flash, it were gone!
Mark couldna’ keyp up wi’ all’ feydin’,
‘e confided, “It gives mi no peace.
An’ it’s geddin’ as round as a barrel …..
Dusta think it’s now classed as obese?”
Ah were pond’rin’ Mark’s problem wi’ tabby,
Fur moidered -w’en reet out o’ blue:
“A strict feline diet’s the answer,
And cut daily meals down to two.”
Ah were grateful for dad’s intervention,
W’en Mark popped ’is ‘eyd round mi door:
“Come in ’ere, Ah’ve got summat to show thi” -
’e were elated as never before.
On a cover, i’ cat bed, lay Thomas,
Two bundles o’ fur bi’ ’is side,
“Ah dorn’d unnerstand whe’er they’ve come fro;
’as ’e fotched ’em both in frae outside?”
Nex’ day, there were two moor additions,
An’ a fifth one on’ day after that;
Three black ’n’ white, a grey an’ a tabby,
No wonder eaur Thomas were fat!
Eaur Mark’s ’ad ’is ’ands full sin’ April,
Wot wi’ feydin’, an’ litter, an’ Vet’s;
’e’s tryin’ to track down ther fatther
To claim Kitten Support for ’is pets.
All’ kittens are gradely an’ thrivin’;
As fer Thomas, jus’ tek it as re’d,
We ’ed a re-christenin’, yon Thomas were listenin’,
……… ‘e’s now Thomasina instead.
Ailsa A. Haydock
22 July, 2007

[@queenannesrevenge1437]

I love the Lancashire accent. It sounds lovely and soft. 😍

[@tchaeuk]

Loved the poem.
I was born a scouse but I was brought up in Burnley.
I still recall looking out through our back window, across the fields towards Pendle.
I now live in Nova Scotia, but I have still retained my accent & still use the vocabulary and dialect I grew up with.
Though I do sometimes confuse some Canucks who look at me as though I am barmy.

[@gsf67]

My grandparents were from Lancashire, my grandfather was born in Preston, and my grandmother, though born in Liverpool, lived around Colne and Burnley and thus had more of a Lancashire accent, than a scouse accent. They both emigrated to New Zealand after the war, and despite living in NZ for over 50 years, still retained their Lancashire accents.

[@sh-hg4eg]

Liverpool is in Lancashire, so it is one of a few a Lancashire accents. (and yes the administrative Borough is now Merseyside but the county is still technically Lancashire).

[@Cheesusrice69222]

My dad's from farnworth

[@gsf67]

@@Cheesusrice69222 whereabouts is Farnsworth in Lancashire? Is it far from Preston? I'm not from Lancashire or the UK.

[@Cheesusrice69222]

@@gsf67 it's near Bolton and Manchester

[@gsf67]

@@Cheesusrice69222 Cool, does that mean you support Bolton Wanderers?

[@EvaBeava11]

10/10 would listen to the accent again

[@garysullivan4622]

Cheered me reet up that. Warra lovely laidy, Thank yer kindly xx

[@neilhaydock1066]

That's grand!

[@helloall1289]

This is so comforting

[@sophieboydell2683]

this is exactly how my grandma talks :)

[@cupidslover3]

This sounds like my Grandad and Grandma would have spoken..I understand nearly all of it. Reminds me being a kid when they would bump into a friend in the street and start talking like this!

[@Redrosewitch]

Love it! God Rest, Ailsa.

[@lynnejames9419]

Great to hear, my Aunty Ann always did dialect poems. 'i occasionally have a go, but here in Hertfordshire they can't understand!

[@neilhaydock1066]

Thanks for sharing!

[@Gabi-il5go]

Cute

[@sh-hg4eg]

Loved this.

[@wendykendall5017]

Didst the’ write it thisel’? Bob on, that. 👌

[@prince.mushroom]

charm level 11

[@kaylacasco4438]

Does anyone know where I can find this poem in text? I'd like to have it to read.