You literally have 158,000 + people following your story and watching you drive around and live in a van. I don't think you're giving yourself nearly enough credit for cool factor.. You're a G.. Go ahead and own that #Respect
I just loved this video of yours, Tori. I’m 57 years old and back when I was in college there was a very pretty girl who I was so thoroughly intimidated by her that I never really tried, if you know what I mean. I just didn’t think I was in the same hemisphere as she was. I ran into her 20 years later. We both had spouses and children and we had a nice talk. During that talk she told me that she had the hugest crush on me back in our college days and she was too afraid to say anything. Your video reminds me that no matter how pretty or handsome the girl or guy, we all have the same fears And apprehensions. Keep up the great work Tory!
The only person you need to be is You. You can't be anyone else because they're already taken. Big props for pushing your personal boundaries and making yourself the best version of you.
As an extreme introvert, I can relate to all the things we tell ourselves in advance of doing anything. Props for getting out of your own way and having a great time!
Tory, as a guy who suffers from a fairly aggressive case of PTSD let me say, corners are my safety zone. If we ever happen to be at the same gathering, please be aware that I WILL try to bribe you with food (usually tacos or doughnuts) in order to gain access to the corner you are guarding/hiding in. 😁👍 As always, BIG HUGS from Tennessee!
You've probably talked to more people and for longer in this video than I have in years. It's been around 31 years or so since I had a friend. I haven't even looked into a woman's eyes in about 15-17 years, who knows. I've been telling myself to go out and try singing karaoke for about 6 years, still haven't pulled the trigger. Just an old man with a dog. Anyway, nice video dear.
The dog might be your best way to make a friend or two. Take them to a big dog park and you could be talking to people in a minute flat. My dog has definitely made a lot of connections for me.
Being alone and comfortable with your own company is a powerful thing. Don't be ashamed doing what's comfortable. Also, that fist bump hand shake was too funny.
Tory, we lost our cat 6 years ago, and that kitten was adorable. We have been putting off getting one, but that little kitten stole my heart. Thanks for that moment
The difference between a friend and an aquaintance, is the you can call a friend at 2am and say "I need bail" and they will only ask where you are and how much. It can take a long time to establish that bond and trust, but it is priceless.
Hi, Tori. Hope all is well. The biggest human curiosity is what others think of us. You are a sweet person, intelligent, interesting, charismatic, and much more. The right partner is someone who we trust as we trust ourselves, and both feel safe and comfortable in surrendering to each other. Be the best you can be as a person, learn, enjoy, and evolve. Stay safe, stay healthy, and stay happy! Everything else is manageable! Pops
To me this is such an important video essay. A lot of folks, including myself, have social anxiety. To see someone else work on overcoming these fears is helpful, more so than my therapist saying, "just put yourself out there." Also, sorry your BF broke up with you. Doesn't sound like he is very empathetic though. Also, I am not trying to be creepy and please take this as a compliment. You have amazing eyes. It makes me think of ice blue, at least on video. I wish you much joy on your adventures and hope you get your van build completed.
As an introvert myself, I definitely have a social battery. I love to hang out, party, and have a good time with others but I have to have some alone time to recharge my battery after being social. And, If I've been pushing too hard with work and other life obligation, and my social battery is already low, pushing myself into social situations usually doesn't work out well. Sometimes we have to bite the bullet and make the best of it, but it is best to recognize our limitations. Love that you are experimenting with different social situations and trying to find your balance.
Aww sweetheart, you did amazing. I’m glad you are able to recognise when you need some company but absolutely love that you can set your boundaries & be unapologetically you. The “boyfriend “ obviously wasn’t the right fit as the right people want to be with you for who you are, not for what you’re not. Always be yourself lovely girl xxx
Tory, it is so interesting to learn about people. When I first saw one of your videos, you were so confident and well spoken I thought you could be a top notch news person. It seems people would be naturally drawn to you for so many reasons. Wishing you much success and happiness out there.
As a fellow van dweller (3 yrs) and chronic introvert, I can completely empathize with what you're saying in this video. Like you mentioned, most of my true friends are located where I left (where I don't want to be) and I've been left to my own devices to try and find friendship on the road, which has not been easy. Dating / social apps only go so far when your hobbies are a bit different from the more popular ones. (Photography, off-road e-scootering, sailing, and 4 wheeling are my main hobbies, of which there are groups, but sometimes I'm the only female that shows up. That really amps the anxiety!) I'm also going through a stage of wanting to be around ppl but I'm currently in one of those towns where not much goes on. I was just in LV a few months ago and had no idea there was an erider meetup! Thx for putting that out there as I'll def look that up when I'm passing back through! Good luck to you and great video!
Making friends has always been hard for me too. Dont worry about it though. You'll find yourself but dont think too much about it. Feeling alone in a crowd of people is hard. But someone will find you. And it'll be amazing.
omg tory, i just watched the first 5 minutes and everything you say and feel is so relatable to me. i'm an introvert too and for me its so hard to make friends, especially as an adult. i'm looking forward to the rest of the video ❤ edit: thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences!!!
I was cracking up at the fist bump thing and then next thing I know I'm crying at the quote you shared about shining our light lolll your content has the ability to move people thank you Tory
I get a little lonely once in awhile but I like it that way you can't trust anybody anymore I go to town and get supplies I can't wait to get back out here and set up again saving all kinds of money because I stay in one spot for 2 weeks one year I've saved back half the money I spent on my new camper I'm not going to complain about that
Tory, I love that you went out of your comfort zone. I too am an introvert and take a while to warm up to people. Great video. From the outside looking in, you look like a very approachable person and I would totally gravitate towards you to say hi. Have safe travels. Jeff from California ❤
4. Ask someone to do a small favor for you. "Hey, will you hold this while I adjust my helmet? Thanks!" Creates a connection and you both feel closer to each other. 5. Know what kind of people you want to make friends list. Create a checklist. Same values, outgoing personality, humor, political beliefs... 6. Recognize that YOU can be intimidating to others! You are tall, good looking, fashion coordinated, fit. Sometimes people think quiet introverts are stuck up! Or unfriendly. 6. Wear an icebreaker. Stickers on your helmet, pins on your clothing, unique flair. They are conversation starters.
(commented before watching) Your friends will find you. You don't have to do anything. Most times it happens by accident, in the most unexpected ways. I like to think we all have a constellation of friends and people with whom we will inevitably cross paths, no matter what happens. Just live your life, and your people will come to you ... ❤
I recently found your channel and watched some of your videos and saw a confident young lady who was making alterations to her van. I felt envious of your ability (your practical capabilities and your production/presenting qualities are excellent). Your vulnerability in this video has surprised me. If I may offer an opinion, never doubt yourself. I look up to you.
Great video. Last summer I went 2 months without talking to anyone when I was in ID & MT. It was amazing. But like you I began to think I needed to try. I went to WA, OR & CA to see friends. But everything you said is true. As a 56 year old woman…I’m not ready to not have fun with new friends!
Life is to short to worry about things that you can't change. You have way to much going for you to be so anxiety ridden! You're intelligent,young,pretty and the world is what you make of it! So,by all means,make your dreams come true! Good luck.
I thought i was an introvert for years , but no just horrible social anxiety i had to work on. Socializing is a big part or our health, so great job anyone who is struggling or working on theirs its a really hard thing to overcome but absolutely worth the improvements in social health .
Just continue to do what you’re comfortable with. Real friends are not always easy to find but when you meet them you just know it. Your ex wasn’t right for you. Obviously he was trying to change you into someone that he’s like. Congratulations on making new friends and continuing to be you. Your online friends have your back 😊
This is the best video that I have seen on YT. I'm sure your vulnerability and honesty has helped many people. Never let another person determine your value.
Tory thank you. With my job I am away a lot and alone a lot. Hearing you have difficulty with this is just like you said. I can’t be the only one. You are one of the most beautiful human beings with an amazing spirit. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
Love the video! Makes me think of back to the future. Seeing everyone on the future of skateboarding. Just seeing how they've changed over the decades.im from the days of the old skateboards. So seeing the electric skateboards is like seeing a glimpse into the future of kids.
We respect how open and honest you are. It is way more commendable in our eyes than someone pretending to not have weaknesses. We all have them, we can relate. I ride a bike too but, if I take a break for a while, then start again, my legs will burn a little at first as well, then it eventually goes away once the legs are used to riding again. It's a human thing. You're human. Welcome to the family. 😁🤣
Tory, just keep being you. If not being around people makes you happier, then do it. Live your life the way YOU want. Don't worry about others' judgment.
I subscribed a few months back because i felt like the channel made no sense to me but i checked back in a couple days ago and im glad i did. To me this was the best and worst video youve posted. It was revealing, vulnerable, honest and unabashed and as result i had to re-subscribe. This video was amazing Tory please keep it up and your ex is douche and its his loss.
I really like your video. I don't leave a lot of comments on videos, but yours, I wanted to. First, I think it's great that you were so vulnerable and let everyone see you at your weakest and most embarrassed self. I think this actually helps a lot of people know that they are not the only ones who feel this way. A funny thing about being isolated is that a lot of other people are as well, and no one actually gets to see what it's like for someone else, so this is really refreshing. Also, I know that whatever you might think of yourself, you have a solid sense of who you are, because this takes a lot of guts, and you've obviously got that. Second, in regards to your ex-bf, don't even worry about it. You are a very beautiful woman, and you seem to have a good heart, so you will easily find guys who want to date you. If I could give you some advice, I would say that you should make a list of what you want from a relationship, and screen guys to make sure they are worthy of your time. You may not see your time as valuable right now; that's okay, but if you start getting more clear on what you do want, you'll find that you are much less willing to allow what you don't want to take up your time. Third, you seem to analyze a lot; this is an amazing ability. I am much the same way; one thing I've learned to do is to use it like a super power....turn it on and off as needed. Do you have a problem that needs a creative solution? Analyze the hell out of it and you're pretty much guaranteed to find a really creative solution. However, when you find that you are over-analyzing as a means to not take action, I'd highly suggest you use Mel Robbin's 5 second rule. Count down 5-4-3-2-1 and then do what you're afraid to do. The counting is actually a way to take your mind off of what you've been thinking about (over-analyzing), so you temporarily get out of that inaction paralysis state of mind, and then you start moving. Thanks for making great videos, I really enjoyed watching your journey on this one.
I'm also an introvert and have social anxiety. Your video has inspired me to have a look online for some local meetups to make myself go to. Thank you.
I did the group bike event as well after my divorce. It's been 5 years and I am still in contact with some of those people. The easy ice breaker I found was just to simply compliment somebody on their bike and to ask them about it. I love your videos!
It’s not about being awkward. It’s about being a kind, honest, humble, generous and real person. And when you truly become that person, you’ll attract other likeminded individuals into your life. They won’t judge your awkwardness, if there are those moments. They like you realize it’s real life. If you meet someone who does or would judge you, try to be humble and don’t be afraid to show your human side. If they still judge you, pray for them, then purge them from your life. For every person who you would meet like that, there are ten more who possess the characteristics of an ideal friend. In summary, put yourself out there, but don’t be taken advantage of. Safe travels.
I can understand what you are going through, I have/am gone through the same thing. If I could sell the house and get a van ( I can't I am chicken ) I would get in and NEVER stop so I wouldn't have to deal with ANYONE ever again !!!!!!
Troy, I told my daughter to just be herself and that people may have their own opinions about other people as well as how they feel. You are trying to meet people can be tough, but remember that you don't have to overthink it that much. I understand that you're being guarded and don't know how people will react around you and that most of the time, they're just scared to meet new people and hope that the people or person they're meet will like them too. As for the right boyfriend or the right person for you, it will come someday. Just enjoy life, and please be careful about your travels. I know how it feels to be lonely, and you're not because you have all these people watching your life unfold as they view these videos of your journey. If you ever make back Las Vegas,Nv. and have time on your hand. Maybe a bike ride back to Red Rock or to the blue diamond community just up the road from Red Rock canyon. I am looking forward to your next video, and we all know that you need to be near WiFi to put out these videos, so take care and be safe.
When I'm out vanlifing I always plan to be somewhere with a parkrun every Saturday. Parkrun is a non-profit that puts on free 5k events at ~2000 locations worldwide every Saturday. That way I always have a social group to interact with and usually they're really interested to hear about all the different parkruns I've been to.
When you self talk be your own cheerleader and do positive reinforcement. Your life will forever change. u can be ur own best friend or your own worst enemy. Great video!
I'm planning to start going on solo road/car camping trips, and really trying to get more comfortable talking to strangers. I stand out already (I'm really tall), so a lot of times people will be come up to me, and in the last few years I've gotten better at talking with random people. I'm looking to get out to more events/cons, etc on my trips, hanging out and meeting new people, and just having a good time. It's funny because I LOVE being alone, but I Hate doing things alone. I went to the movies alone once and HATED it. Hopefully camping and road tripping alone will be a fun enough experience.
You’re amazing, just keep going! Trying to buy a van and it’s completely awkward for me. I have so many questions and nobody to ask, so I get that life can be a challenge. It’s funny ... I can make friends, but I can’t figure out how to buy a van lol. All we can do, is our best. 🌻🐝🧡
Try VanLife Facebook Groups! You can even ask anonymously if you feel self conscious of your questions but I find the groups tend to me really willing to help and want to offer their experiences and insights. (There was a group once who wasn't so nice when I asked a question but I just asked another group and they helped me LOL) In my first build I asked a lot of questions in Facebook groups :) Hopefully this helps!
You're ex is a dick. Be yourself. Don't feel forced and go at your own pace. As an introvert I feel your pain. I get it...all of us do who are introverts. Find the pace that works for you. I think the bike riding was good. No pressure to mingle and most of it is intermittent. You ride and then take breaks. There is time in between stops giving you time to re-energize as you traveled. You found 1 person and got a nice 45 min conversation. That's great! Better than me I talk to people like once a month lol. Find your comfort zone...and work from there. If you need a break....take one. I hope you find it easier as you go forward. I took a chance last year to meet up with some friends from online after 8 years. And it went great. I had a wonderful time. I hope you find a great group of friends as I have.
You’re still beautiful even when you’re tired. I’ve been on the road for two years now, but I travel with a fifth wheel. It is difficult meeting new people on the road. Last two years I spent the winter in Quartzsite. I’ve met people here. We’re close enough that we can get together at times, but we’re far enough away where we can also enjoy our alone time.
This is great Tory. Glad to see you opening up and having a blast! If you're ever over in Boulder Colorado, there's "Boulder Bike Nights" on Thursdays. Similar vibe but a much smaller city!
I just left Dry Lake a few days ago! I grew up in the area, so it's been really nice being back as an adult. That night ride looked like so much fun. You were smiling in almost every shot. Keep getting out there. I will be in the area for a bit. If you see a shuttle bus with a big pink peace sign on it, come say hey✌️.
Hi gorgeous, you did absolutely fantastic. Well done for kicking your anxiety in the bum. And just doing the social ride. With others I bet you felt so much better for doing it. 💛
As a fellow introvert I understand how hard it can be, when around others. Because I judge myself so harshly, I often think that others are judging me the same way. I have found that others are not sitting around just waiting for a chance to judge me. They are living their lives.....and so must I. So even though I am awkward, I have to take advantage of opportunities to put myself out there. I have to tell myself to let go of self judgement, when I do something awkward, and focus on the positives. It takes conscious effort and lots of practice. But you never get better at things you put no effort into.
Tory, watch the cheap RV living channel with Bob Wells!!! Its a great channel that answer all your full time RV needs including loneliness!!! Bob is such a nice guy who really cares about Vans, motor homes, van etc nomads!!! He really has helped thousands of people and they all meet around once a year in Quartzite Arizona! I miss full time RVING and want to do it again at least part time !!
I'm just starting figuring out all my van plans and will hopefully start by the end of 2025, All these resources you've made available to us are amazing, so thank you! also thanks for these tips, idk why i thought I'd be the odd duck out, i guess because most van lifers look like extroverts from the surface, so one introvert to another thanks for the advice on that as well.
I always find it helps to try and meditate and focus on your breathe to try and clear your mind of stress and anxiety. Listening to some relaxing sounds also helps. Also don't overthink things as it could make it worst.
Hi Tory . Glad to see that you are okay . I was wondering what happened to you . if you were okay . I enjoyed your video a lot . It was positive encouraging words . If you're wondering what people are thinking about you the first time that they see you what a beautiful woman . Looking for for the next video . 🥰
I call myself a destructive Introvert. Home is my happy place, I am also a guitarist in a rock band and crazy AF. I call it my Jekyll and Hyde personality.
Hey Tory, 👋 I feel yah as a mainly introvert aswell. If it helps I find focusing on my breathing as calming in any situation, good on you for getting out there. You've inspired me to start saving for a moble life build, so thank you 😊. Also people fear what they don't understand, but fear is simply false evidence appearing real 😮
You are such a amazing story creature. After watching several of your videos I wouldn’t of not known this about you. Go out there and meet people because your so lovely.
Awesome job! Social situations can be very awkward, but we make it through. I have always wanted to do one of these rides on the strip or downtown. They look like so much fun.
LOL! That is one long dissertation on self-consciousness. People talk and they worry about what they said later, when in reality most people can't even remember what you said 20 minutes later. I think harsh criticism and ridicule turns people inward, often hearkening back to high school or other impressionable times in our lives. The more you socialise the more you'll shake that.
As a straight male single introvert, one thing I have learned, is that it is best to date an introvert, as an introvert. That way the one you are dating will be spending one on one time with you, instead of spending all their time trying to get you to talk to other people.
I feel like that van meet up group just wasn’t your people. When you meet your people you click and feel comfortable. I felt terrible seeing how uncomfortable you were versus how comfortable you were with your skateboarding friends. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Some people are just not supposed to be in your life. ❤
How do you become more comfortable in your own skin and overcome social anxiety? Tough call. 1. Realize nobody cares. They are way too wrapped up in their own stuff to notice. And even if you do something embarrassingly stupid, nobody will recall it a month from now. Even if you do something that will garner tons of public attention, they won't remember the event six months from now. 2. Stretch by volunteering. Animal shelter. Food Bank. Special events. Sign up for an event and volunteer to work the registration desk! 3. Like in your resume, review your accomplishments first thing in the morning. Gives you confidence throughout the day so you feel stronger. 4. Know that you are loved (and liked!) and people deserve your friendship. You have unique God-given talents to help others in their quest.
You literally have 158,000 + people following your story and watching you drive around and live in a van. I don't think you're giving yourself nearly enough credit for cool factor.. You're a G.. Go ahead and own that #Respect
facts
I just loved this video of yours, Tori. I’m 57 years old and back when I was in college there was a very pretty girl who I was so thoroughly intimidated by her that I never really tried, if you know what I mean. I just didn’t think I was in the same hemisphere as she was. I ran into her 20 years later. We both had spouses and children and we had a nice talk. During that talk she told me that she had the hugest crush on me back in our college days and she was too afraid to say anything. Your video reminds me that no matter how pretty or handsome the girl or guy, we all have the same fears And apprehensions. Keep up the great work Tory!
The only person you need to be is You. You can't be anyone else because they're already taken. Big props for pushing your personal boundaries and making yourself the best version of you.
“pick the right people to be friends with”…perfect way to close this video, thanks Tory 🤗 💐
As an extreme introvert, I can relate to all the things we tell ourselves in advance of doing anything. Props for getting out of your own way and having a great time!
"Wow, love is such a lie"
Loved that 😄
Just be who you are don’t worry nobody’s judging you. It’s too busy worried about their insecurities to be worried about yours.
Amen.
Tory, as a guy who suffers from a fairly aggressive case of PTSD let me say, corners are my safety zone. If we ever happen to be at the same gathering, please be aware that I WILL try to bribe you with food (usually tacos or doughnuts) in order to gain access to the corner you are guarding/hiding in. 😁👍 As always, BIG HUGS from Tennessee!
You've probably talked to more people and for longer in this video than I have in years. It's been around 31 years or so since I had a friend. I haven't even looked into a woman's eyes in about 15-17 years, who knows. I've been telling myself to go out and try singing karaoke for about 6 years, still haven't pulled the trigger. Just an old man with a dog. Anyway, nice video dear.
We love old geezers with dogs!!! 🫂 Cheering you on! (I still shake when I do karaoke, but am proud of myself each time. 😅)
The dog might be your best way to make a friend or two. Take them to a big dog park and you could be talking to people in a minute flat. My dog has definitely made a lot of connections for me.
Go to karaoke!! It's so fun! 💜 (I think I have 50+ karaoke videos on my channel LOL)
You are living the dream life afaic
You go do Karaoke dude. If you visit Australia I’ll play pool with you . God bless
Being alone and comfortable with your own company is a powerful thing. Don't be ashamed doing what's comfortable. Also, that fist bump hand shake was too funny.
Tory, we lost our cat 6 years ago, and that kitten was adorable. We have been putting off getting one, but that little kitten stole my heart. Thanks for that moment
The difference between a friend and an aquaintance, is the you can call a friend at 2am and say "I need bail" and they will only ask where you are and how much.
It can take a long time to establish that bond and trust, but it is priceless.
LOL the fist bump shake you are totally rad! making a real video like this will show you how many others relate! good stuff
Hi, Tori. Hope all is well. The biggest human curiosity is what others think of us.
You are a sweet person, intelligent, interesting, charismatic, and much more. The right partner is someone who we trust as we trust ourselves, and both feel safe and comfortable in surrendering to each other.
Be the best you can be as a person, learn, enjoy, and evolve.
Stay safe, stay healthy, and stay happy! Everything else is manageable!
Pops
9:20 9:40
To me this is such an important video essay. A lot of folks, including myself, have social anxiety. To see someone else work on overcoming these fears is helpful, more so than my therapist saying, "just put yourself out there." Also, sorry your BF broke up with you. Doesn't sound like he is very empathetic though. Also, I am not trying to be creepy and please take this as a compliment. You have amazing eyes. It makes me think of ice blue, at least on video. I wish you much joy on your adventures and hope you get your van build completed.
As an introvert myself, I definitely have a social battery. I love to hang out, party, and have a good time with others but I have to have some alone time to recharge my battery after being social. And, If I've been pushing too hard with work and other life obligation, and my social battery is already low, pushing myself into social situations usually doesn't work out well. Sometimes we have to bite the bullet and make the best of it, but it is best to recognize our limitations. Love that you are experimenting with different social situations and trying to find your balance.
Aww sweetheart, you did amazing. I’m glad you are able to recognise when you need some company but absolutely love that you can set your boundaries & be unapologetically you. The “boyfriend “ obviously wasn’t the right fit as the right people want to be with you for who you are, not for what you’re not. Always be yourself lovely girl xxx
Love this video!! The topic, the voice you lend (gold!), and the videography. Thanks for sharing this with the world.
Tory, it is so interesting to learn about people. When I first saw one of your videos, you were so confident and well spoken I thought you could be a top notch news person. It seems people would be naturally drawn to you for so many reasons. Wishing you much success and happiness out there.
I too suffer from social anxiety. You were brave ! Keep going .
As a fellow van dweller (3 yrs) and chronic introvert, I can completely empathize with what you're saying in this video. Like you mentioned, most of my true friends are located where I left (where I don't want to be) and I've been left to my own devices to try and find friendship on the road, which has not been easy. Dating / social apps only go so far when your hobbies are a bit different from the more popular ones. (Photography, off-road e-scootering, sailing, and 4 wheeling are my main hobbies, of which there are groups, but sometimes I'm the only female that shows up. That really amps the anxiety!)
I'm also going through a stage of wanting to be around ppl but I'm currently in one of those towns where not much goes on. I was just in LV a few months ago and had no idea there was an erider meetup! Thx for putting that out there as I'll def look that up when I'm passing back through!
Good luck to you and great video!
Making friends has always been hard for me too. Dont worry about it though. You'll find yourself but dont think too much about it. Feeling alone in a crowd of people is hard. But someone will find you. And it'll be amazing.
omg tory, i just watched the first 5 minutes and everything you say and feel is so relatable to me. i'm an introvert too and for me its so hard to make friends, especially as an adult. i'm looking forward to the rest of the video ❤
edit: thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences!!!
I was cracking up at the fist bump thing and then next thing I know I'm crying at the quote you shared about shining our light lolll your content has the ability to move people thank you Tory
I get a little lonely once in awhile but I like it that way you can't trust anybody anymore I go to town and get supplies I can't wait to get back out here and set up again saving all kinds of money because I stay in one spot for 2 weeks one year I've saved back half the money I spent on my new camper I'm not going to complain about that
Tory, I love that you went out of your comfort zone. I too am an introvert and take a while to warm up to people. Great video. From the outside looking in, you look like a very approachable person and I would totally gravitate towards you to say hi.
Have safe travels.
Jeff from California ❤
4. Ask someone to do a small favor for you. "Hey, will you hold this while I adjust my helmet? Thanks!" Creates a connection and you both feel closer to each other.
5. Know what kind of people you want to make friends list. Create a checklist. Same values, outgoing personality, humor, political beliefs...
6. Recognize that YOU can be intimidating to others! You are tall, good looking, fashion coordinated, fit. Sometimes people think quiet introverts are stuck up! Or unfriendly.
6. Wear an icebreaker. Stickers on your helmet, pins on your clothing, unique flair. They are conversation starters.
Tory is the most authentic and honest youtuber I have come across. This was one of her best videos. Thanks Tory!
(commented before watching) Your friends will find you. You don't have to do anything. Most times it happens by accident, in the most unexpected ways. I like to think we all have a constellation of friends and people with whom we will inevitably cross paths, no matter what happens. Just live your life, and your people will come to you ... ❤
(commented after watching) See? You found each other 😊
I recently found your channel and watched some of your videos and saw a confident young lady who was making alterations to her van. I felt envious of your ability (your practical capabilities and your production/presenting qualities are excellent). Your vulnerability in this video has surprised me. If I may offer an opinion, never doubt yourself. I look up to you.
Great video. Last summer I went 2 months without talking to anyone when I was in ID & MT. It was amazing. But like you I began to think I needed to try. I went to WA, OR & CA to see friends.
But everything you said is true. As a 56 year old woman…I’m not ready to not have fun with new friends!
Life is to short to worry about things that you can't change. You have way to much going for you to be so anxiety ridden! You're intelligent,young,pretty and the world is what you make of it! So,by all means,make your dreams come true! Good luck.
There’s something magical about this video
Well done for pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone .
this brought tears to my eyes when you were reading the poem. I relate to this so so much. Thank you!!
I thought i was an introvert for years , but no just horrible social anxiety i had to work on. Socializing is a big part or our health, so great job anyone who is struggling or working on theirs its a really hard thing to overcome but absolutely worth the improvements in social health .
Just continue to do what you’re comfortable with. Real friends are not always easy to find but when you meet them you just know it. Your ex wasn’t right for you. Obviously he was trying to change you into someone that he’s like. Congratulations on making new friends and continuing to be you. Your online friends have your back 😊
Fellow introvert for the last 58 year's from the uk that was great to watch thankyou
Everything you said is so true just Enjoy the Adventure 💚🤟 Brilliant as always
Tory know you are worthy. to anyone saying otherwise "fuck'em" be well your light is bright and your energy is sweet.
You are one of my biggest heroes! I just wanted you to know how much I admire your authenticity! Also, I love how much I have learned from you!!!
This is the best video that I have seen on YT. I'm sure your vulnerability and honesty has helped many people. Never let another person determine your value.
Hey Tory, your video on making friends while traveling alone as an introvert is so relatable and inspiring! Keep sharing your journey! 🌟
Some of those drone shots are very good. So appreciate your intelligence and transparency. Very refreshing. And great job thats a lot of work. Peace.
You got this! I don't think there is anyone who wouldn't be happy to meet you. Put yourself out there and I'm sure you will be happy you did it!!!
Tory thank you. With my job I am away a lot and alone a lot. Hearing you have difficulty with this is just like you said. I can’t be the only one. You are one of the most beautiful human beings with an amazing spirit. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
Love the video! Makes me think of back to the future. Seeing everyone on the future of skateboarding. Just seeing how they've changed over the decades.im from the days of the old skateboards. So seeing the electric skateboards is like seeing a glimpse into the future of kids.
We respect how open and honest you are. It is way more commendable in our eyes than someone pretending to not have weaknesses. We all have them, we can relate. I ride a bike too but, if I take a break for a while, then start again, my legs will burn a little at first as well, then it eventually goes away once the legs are used to riding again. It's a human thing. You're human. Welcome to the family. 😁🤣
Tory, just keep being you. If not being around people makes you happier, then do it. Live your life the way YOU want. Don't worry about others' judgment.
I subscribed a few months back because i felt like the channel made no sense to me but i checked back in a couple days ago and im glad i did. To me this was the best and worst video youve posted. It was revealing, vulnerable, honest and unabashed and as result i had to re-subscribe. This video was amazing Tory please keep it up and your ex is douche and its his loss.
This video really hits home. I have no prob meeting friends but I dont trust anyone. Gets really lonely at times then I shut myself off from people.
I really like your video. I don't leave a lot of comments on videos, but yours, I wanted to.
First, I think it's great that you were so vulnerable and let everyone see you at your weakest and most embarrassed self. I think this actually helps a lot of people know that they are not the only ones who feel this way. A funny thing about being isolated is that a lot of other people are as well, and no one actually gets to see what it's like for someone else, so this is really refreshing. Also, I know that whatever you might think of yourself, you have a solid sense of who you are, because this takes a lot of guts, and you've obviously got that.
Second, in regards to your ex-bf, don't even worry about it. You are a very beautiful woman, and you seem to have a good heart, so you will easily find guys who want to date you. If I could give you some advice, I would say that you should make a list of what you want from a relationship, and screen guys to make sure they are worthy of your time. You may not see your time as valuable right now; that's okay, but if you start getting more clear on what you do want, you'll find that you are much less willing to allow what you don't want to take up your time.
Third, you seem to analyze a lot; this is an amazing ability. I am much the same way; one thing I've learned to do is to use it like a super power....turn it on and off as needed. Do you have a problem that needs a creative solution? Analyze the hell out of it and you're pretty much guaranteed to find a really creative solution. However, when you find that you are over-analyzing as a means to not take action, I'd highly suggest you use Mel Robbin's 5 second rule. Count down 5-4-3-2-1 and then do what you're afraid to do. The counting is actually a way to take your mind off of what you've been thinking about (over-analyzing), so you temporarily get out of that inaction paralysis state of mind, and then you start moving.
Thanks for making great videos, I really enjoyed watching your journey on this one.
Thanks for sharing your struggles with being an introvert, I’m in the same boat and it’s nice to know I’m not the only one. ❤
You're doing great mate, You're living so many people's dreams! Just keep on keeping on. There's not a day you haven't got through🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
I'm also an introvert and have social anxiety. Your video has inspired me to have a look online for some local meetups to make myself go to. Thank you.
You're great videographer. The skill it takes to make, edit your videos is impressive. Your van life is literally a resume in progress. Keep it going.
Thank you so much!
I did the group bike event as well after my divorce. It's been 5 years and I am still in contact with some of those people. The easy ice breaker I found was just to simply compliment somebody on their bike and to ask them about it. I love your videos!
Love this!! That’s so great! ☺️
It’s not about being awkward. It’s about being a kind, honest, humble, generous and real person. And when you truly become that person, you’ll attract other likeminded individuals into your life. They won’t judge your awkwardness, if there are those moments. They like you realize it’s real life. If you meet someone who does or would judge you, try to be humble and don’t be afraid to show your human side. If they still judge you, pray for them, then purge them from your life. For every person who you would meet like that, there are ten more who possess the characteristics of an ideal friend. In summary, put yourself out there, but don’t be taken advantage of. Safe travels.
I love group rides like this it is so relaxing and I think it is fun. Just go with the flows.
Totally understand… you’re on the right path 😊
I can understand what you are going through, I have/am gone through the same thing. If I could sell the house and get a van ( I can't I am chicken ) I would get in and NEVER stop so I wouldn't have to deal with ANYONE ever again !!!!!!
Troy, I told my daughter to just be herself and that people may have their own opinions about other people as well as how they feel. You are trying to meet people can be tough, but remember that you don't have to overthink it that much. I understand that you're being guarded and don't know how people will react around you and that most of the time, they're just scared to meet new people and hope that the people or person they're meet will like them too. As for the right boyfriend or the right person for you, it will come someday. Just enjoy life, and please be careful about your travels. I know how it feels to be lonely, and you're not because you have all these people watching your life unfold as they view these videos of your journey. If you ever make back Las Vegas,Nv. and have time on your hand. Maybe a bike ride back to Red Rock or to the blue diamond community just up the road from Red Rock canyon. I am looking forward to your next video, and we all know that you need to be near WiFi to put out these videos, so take care and be safe.
I love how positive you are! an inspiration💅
When I'm out vanlifing I always plan to be somewhere with a parkrun every Saturday. Parkrun is a non-profit that puts on free 5k events at ~2000 locations worldwide every Saturday. That way I always have a social group to interact with and usually they're really interested to hear about all the different parkruns I've been to.
When you self talk be your own cheerleader and do positive reinforcement. Your life will forever change. u can be ur own best friend or your own worst enemy. Great video!
I'm planning to start going on solo road/car camping trips, and really trying to get more comfortable talking to strangers. I stand out already (I'm really tall), so a lot of times people will be come up to me, and in the last few years I've gotten better at talking with random people.
I'm looking to get out to more events/cons, etc on my trips, hanging out and meeting new people, and just having a good time.
It's funny because I LOVE being alone, but I Hate doing things alone. I went to the movies alone once and HATED it.
Hopefully camping and road tripping alone will be a fun enough experience.
You’re amazing, just keep going!
Trying to buy a van and it’s completely awkward for me. I have so many questions and nobody to ask, so I get that life can be a challenge. It’s funny ... I can make friends, but I can’t figure out how to buy a van lol.
All we can do, is our best.
🌻🐝🧡
Try VanLife Facebook Groups! You can even ask anonymously if you feel self conscious of your questions but I find the groups tend to me really willing to help and want to offer their experiences and insights. (There was a group once who wasn't so nice when I asked a question but I just asked another group and they helped me LOL) In my first build I asked a lot of questions in Facebook groups :) Hopefully this helps!
Tory, thank you so much for your response and for sharing your experiences. This is a great community.
Joyful blessings🌷
You're ex is a dick. Be yourself. Don't feel forced and go at your own pace. As an introvert I feel your pain. I get it...all of us do who are introverts. Find the pace that works for you. I think the bike riding was good. No pressure to mingle and most of it is intermittent. You ride and then take breaks. There is time in between stops giving you time to re-energize as you traveled. You found 1 person and got a nice 45 min conversation. That's great! Better than me I talk to people like once a month lol. Find your comfort zone...and work from there. If you need a break....take one.
I hope you find it easier as you go forward. I took a chance last year to meet up with some friends from online after 8 years. And it went great. I had a wonderful time. I hope you find a great group of friends as I have.
You’re still beautiful even when you’re tired. I’ve been on the road for two years now, but I travel with a fifth wheel. It is difficult meeting new people on the road. Last two years I spent the winter in Quartzsite. I’ve met people here. We’re close enough that we can get together at times, but we’re far enough away where we can also enjoy our alone time.
This is great Tory. Glad to see you opening up and having a blast! If you're ever over in Boulder Colorado, there's "Boulder Bike Nights" on Thursdays. Similar vibe but a much smaller city!
2:00 I'd have left by now. Good job sticking it out.
This video put a smile on my face, I mean i can be a lot like that most times, I am not a youtuber but it still vibes with me, thanks for sharing.
I'm so happy I watch your video. You totally spoke to me.
I just left Dry Lake a few days ago! I grew up in the area, so it's been really nice being back as an adult. That night ride looked like so much fun. You were smiling in almost every shot. Keep getting out there. I will be in the area for a bit. If you see a shuttle bus with a big pink peace sign on it, come say hey✌️.
Ive had and have so many friends, comes with a lot of up and downs, what’s life without them, just do what you love and say want you want
So good to see you so happy and well. Shamim 🦌 🕊
Hi gorgeous, you did absolutely fantastic. Well done for kicking your anxiety in the bum. And just doing the social ride. With others I bet you felt so much better for doing it. 💛
As a fellow introvert I understand how hard it can be, when around others. Because I judge myself so harshly, I often think that others are judging me the same way. I have found that others are not sitting around just waiting for a chance to judge me. They are living their lives.....and so must I. So even though I am awkward, I have to take advantage of opportunities to put myself out there. I have to tell myself to let go of self judgement, when I do something awkward, and focus on the positives. It takes conscious effort and lots of practice. But you never get better at things you put no effort into.
Tory, watch the cheap RV living channel with Bob Wells!!! Its a great channel that answer all your full time RV needs including loneliness!!! Bob is such a nice guy who really cares about Vans, motor homes, van etc nomads!!! He really has helped thousands of people and they all meet around once a year in Quartzite Arizona! I miss full time RVING and want to do it again at least part time !!
I think its very important to have alone time. I try to carve out alone time once a day, no exceptions. Keeps a healthy balance
I'm just starting figuring out all my van plans and will hopefully start by the end of 2025, All these resources you've made available to us are amazing, so thank you!
also thanks for these tips, idk why i thought I'd be the odd duck out, i guess because most van lifers look like extroverts from the surface, so one introvert to another thanks for the advice on that as well.
Your video hit me at the right time. New to vanlife and this is something im going to have to work hard at. Love your videos.
I always find it helps to try and meditate and focus on your breathe to try and clear your mind of stress and anxiety. Listening to some relaxing sounds also helps. Also don't overthink things as it could make it worst.
Most anxiety goes away when you learn not to care about what other people think. Its that simple.
Hi Tory . Glad to see that you are okay . I was wondering what happened to you . if you were okay . I enjoyed your video a lot . It was positive encouraging words . If you're wondering what people are thinking about you the first time that they see you what a beautiful woman . Looking for for the next video . 🥰
I think you're a beautiful inside and outside.
As a person! Don't forget to pray for your safety every day! I also want to say please get a dog!
I call myself a destructive Introvert. Home is my happy place, I am also a guitarist in a rock band and crazy AF. I call it my Jekyll and Hyde personality.
Hey Tory, 👋 I feel yah as a mainly introvert aswell. If it helps I find focusing on my breathing as calming in any situation, good on you for getting out there. You've inspired me to start saving for a moble life build, so thank you 😊. Also people fear what they don't understand, but fear is simply false evidence appearing real 😮
Just a beautiful episode! So full of beauty and heart! ❤️
You are such a amazing story creature. After watching several of your videos I wouldn’t of not known this about you. Go out there and meet people because your so lovely.
Awesome job! Social situations can be very awkward, but we make it through. I have always wanted to do one of these rides on the strip or downtown. They look like so much fun.
LOL! That is one long dissertation on self-consciousness. People talk and they worry about what they said later, when in reality most people can't even remember what you said 20 minutes later. I think harsh criticism and ridicule turns people inward, often hearkening back to high school or other impressionable times in our lives. The more you socialise the more you'll shake that.
As a straight male single introvert, one thing I have learned, is that it is best to date an introvert, as an introvert. That way the one you are dating will be spending one on one time with you, instead of spending all their time trying to get you to talk to other people.
I live in Vegas and after the first neon sign. Oh! You’re about to pass Fremont street! So cool. I’m glad you got out there and enjoyed.
Thank you for sharing this part of your journey.
You’re the sweetest. I love this video and how open and honest you are about your feelings ❤
I feel like that van meet up group just wasn’t your people. When you meet your people you click and feel comfortable. I felt terrible seeing how uncomfortable you were versus how comfortable you were with your skateboarding friends. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Some people are just not supposed to be in your life. ❤
What a great video!!!! Beautifully filmed and edited… my favorite of yours! I felt the joy as you were riding that night!! I loved it!!
How do you become more comfortable in your own skin and overcome social anxiety? Tough call. 1. Realize nobody cares. They are way too wrapped up in their own stuff to notice. And even if you do something embarrassingly stupid, nobody will recall it a month from now. Even if you do something that will garner tons of public attention, they won't remember the event six months from now.
2. Stretch by volunteering. Animal shelter. Food Bank. Special events. Sign up for an event and volunteer to work the registration desk!
3. Like in your resume, review your accomplishments first thing in the morning. Gives you confidence throughout the day so you feel stronger.
4. Know that you are loved (and liked!) and people deserve your friendship. You have unique God-given talents to help others in their quest.
I am the same I overthink everything ❤ you’re a amazing woman Tory