You're a gem of a friend, my dear. This idea was beautiful, and next time--invite your guests to participate! Ask them ahead of time to bring their favorite dish, or a game to share. You weren't meant to put so much pressure on yourself, which I know you already know. Whenever I am a guest somewhere, I feel more comfortable if I am able to contribute (plus, I know it's less stress on the host).
Here to say that I watch your videos BECAUSE you admit to being embarrassed sometimes, you have a hard time believing your partner wants to help you, you put pressure on yourself and then feel disappointed. If I wanted to watch a perfect aesthetic picnic on RUclips, I could find it. But I've been looking for videos that make me feel less alone, make me feel like where I am is okay and that my feelings are normal. Perfect videos don't inspire me, yours does. Perfect videos make me feel bad. Yours makes me feel seen and relatable.
Yes!! I ❤ how real and honest Caroline is, she makes me laugh and get inspired, there are so many others on YT but I just don't feel anything, really wooden people haha but Caroline is amazing and adorable and has me in stitches laughing on each journey with her ❤
Totally agree! I love seeing real people having real experiences on RUclips- esp those who share their vulnerabilities, losses, embarrassments, etc. Helps us all feel like it’s totally okay for us to experience these too and that it’s, in fact, normal and to be expected. Takes the pressure off and helps me feel like there’s no one to compete with… but everyone to admire and love (including myself) for our quirky, imperfect humanness. Keep the genuine and candid videos coming! ❤ You rock for exactly who you are and for sharing this. I Love watching your videos. Well done. 🎉❤
Thank you for sharing the real you. You inspire me. Yours so fun to watch. I love how you edit, your personality is amazing. Thank you for helping me realize I can try something out of my comfort zone and that I might have feelings of inadequacy about. Now I want to try something like this. You didn’t fail you inspired💜 p.s. the red and white big dish you bought to use for this picnic is so wonderful to cook in. They are my favorite, I have the whole set.
Girl, girl, girlll, that party was awesome! What you are experiencing is a dopamine crash after weeks of anticipation - and it is completely normal for every brain to have to re-regulate after literally, months of excitement getting this party ready. Keep that yurt, and throw more parties, and the disregulation will lesson more and more over time. Thanks for bringing us along and for being sooo brave 😘
@@han.nah. After hosting a big event my friends and I sit down after all the guests have left (usually at 2am) with a drink and toast to our “success!” No matter what happened or how we wish we had done things different - and this toast culminates the night on a positive note, which always feels good.
This is actually so insightful! Sometimes the fun and anticipation of planning the event is way more fun than the event itself. And hosting the event means all the fun of planning is coming to an end. Doesn’t mean the event itself was bad or didn’t go well!
As an ex party perfectionist, I know exactly how you feel. I've had parties go EXACTLY like that. So here's my unsolicited advice... I figured out why it happens I've figured out how to fix it.... Why it happens: you were scrambling and not ready when people arrived. Without fail, this has been the key ingredient to every lackluster vibe I've ever had at a party, whether it was one I've hosted or attended. How to fix it: be OVERLY prepared the day before by pre-assembling a much as possible. Really prioritize YOUR look (hair, outfit, makeup). And lastly, have one friend arrive a little early so there's already someone you like the most there when everyone else arrives. They will give you the oohs and aahs you need to get excited, they'll help with those last two minute things, and you can pour your first drink when they get there so you can start relaxing into your vibe. Finally, I really want to challenge you, Caroline, to host again very soon. Throw a "Hello October" party and serve a buffet of different soups in cute vintage tureens. Whatever you decide, it will be better next time, but don't let too much time pass. (Love watching you, girl)
🤩 wow this is such great advice. Hope Caroline sees it! I agree - ie. the string lights and flowers you can prepare ahead of time. Lesson learned for all of us watching. Also, thanks for being vulnerable and honest about how you felt and still put out a video like this! A lot of your videos are so perfect and feel out of reach. This makes us feel you’re a good and honest human.
I never thought to find this much sincerity on the internet. This has happened to me multiple times and hearing you saying it out loud feels like taking a deep breath. I love this little corner of the internet.
Seriously, can't tell you how many times I put time, effort, enthusiasm and money into making friends or family happy or try to do something special, and them to not give a shit or notice and it's quite hurtful. From the outside looking in, it seems that Caroline's party was great so I'm confused on what went wrong or why people weren't happy. I would have been ecstatic if a friend put this effort in for our friend group.
I cried watching your recap at the end. I’ve never felt so validated by RUclips content. Most of the time what influencers share feels so unattainable. I appreciate you peeling back the layers and showing the disappointment too. You could have easily chosen not to share the tough moments, but I am so grateful that you did. I can relate to everything you shared from insecurities causing tension between myself and my man to feelings of failure etc. Thank you so much for being vulnerable. I can’t even describe how encouraging it was for me to see this.
So here's the thing: you went way out of your way to do something awesome for the people you love. When you do something out of love, there is NO way you can fail. Thank you for being you. You're an angel. 💖
I also think it's good to think about why you're doing something: is it actually out of joy and love, or are you trying to prove something to yourself and protect your ego? Perfectionism can really kill joy and love.
@@mchlle94I totally agree with you this was the first thing I thought. I was thinking about the "WHY." Abby theater kids all I can think of was the line when Gypsy Rose Lee says to Mama "I thought you did it for me Mama" and then the Mama Rose goes into one of the most iconic songs in theater history, ROSES TURN. The mama goes through a whole journey speaking out loud the things that she's gone through and what she was doing it for and why and how to realize at the end, that of course she did all the things she did for her kids but a lot of that was for her. No need to have regrets.
I needed to hear this. I invited my friends over for my birthday celebration, to come and get cake and coffee. One was ill and couldn't come. One became ill after I couldn't come and pick her up (she thought 400m was too long to walk). One was on another island, and when I tried to reschedule with the last, for more fitting plans for 2, she was also feeling under the weather 🤕I try to convince myself that it is not because they don't like me.
Caroline, can you imagine if you'd been invited to such a sweet well-thought out picnic in the park? If one of your friends had invited you to such an event, you likely would have felt so honored, so touched that your friend would go to all that trouble to please you!🥰 All those lovely details, the yurt, the flowers, the watermelon salad, the cute low table and beautiful blankets, the lovely hanging lanterns, the setting by the water, every detail planned just to please your friends? I promise you, each one of them walked away feeling special, knowing they got invited to a picnic planned so thoughtfully by their dear friend. You honored them and I promise you, you are so loved.❤
My thoughts exactly! I’m an event planner & former wedding planner - I find myself both proud and let down after Every. Single. Event. And yet, guests look past the faults I see and feel honored to have been treated to such a thoughtful experience 🩵 I’m sorry the day was stressful and a bit of a let down, but it’s clear you are a wonderful friend and incredible, strong, inspiring human. Thank you for sharing the real stuff, Caroline. I’m new to your channel & totally obsessed - keep it up!
Thank you so much for always being real! The end of the video was so refreshing. I can’t really do social media because it just makes me feel kind of shitty to see everyone’s highlight reel, but I always feel so comforted by your videos and your presence on the internet. What a safe little corner of the internet I have found and you have created. Appreciate you, Caroline 💛
ah im glad that's how it felt. it was a weird day or so post picnic before i filmed the outro. i really didnt know how to pitch this video any more. it turned out so differently than i had expected. i always want videos to feel inspiring at the end, but more than that i want them to be true. so i sat down and filmed the intro and added the voiceover once i'd processed what i'd felt and learned. can't control the outcome!
I agree :) you are such a gem. Your pinic looked beautiful and you are so brave naming something so real that so many of us experience. God I could relate! And I imagine there are SO many inspirational videos or curated pictures out there that didn't actually feel good on the inside and it is such a gift to us all to be reminded that having everything perfect isn't what makes it feel good and that feeling good is the point. And I'll just say again how beautiful what you made is! I hope you do it all again and just get to enjoy all that beauty!
I’m a Pastors’ Wife. I constantly host baby showers, ladies activities and get togethers. I frequently feel the way you do. I am learning to place less expectations on each event. There is nothing worse than unmet expectations. Also, asking people to help in someway (bring dessert or a game) automatically makes them invested and takes the pressure off of you if things aren’t perfect. You are such a lovely person! Thank you for your videos.
There's a story from Lake Wobegon Days about a pastor's wife, newly married and new to the small town. It was a Christmas party. She agonized over home-made cookies. The high school football team arrived first and devoured the cookies before anyone else could appreciate them. At first she was demoralized, but then she realized that she would never have to live up to that level of entertaining again. 😄
Gosh, I would have been worried about the weather cooperating for the entire month of planning!! So glad you had a beautiful day! I think that would have been all I needed in order to feel the success...yeah, something I couldn't control...what's that say about me? 🤔
If it feels significant, it's because on some deep level it is significant! Don't dismiss that valuable piece of insight...did you feel you had to EARN your friend's time/presence/actual friendship? Justin helped you out, and probably felt stressed too, not because you overworked him, but because of emotional -contagion. He mirrored your stress back to you! Another 'mirror' that you might have hit upon us the seating HAVING-NO-SUPPORT!!!!!!! When we're uncomfortable in ourselves our focus turns inwards towards our sore back/numb-bum/legs cramps. Social interaction requires an outward focus ...I think that's the 'lack' you were feeling. As the saying goes sell the sizzle, not the steak...but no amount of sizzle will distract you if the steak isn't cooked right. This was possibly a 'style over substance' oversight ...but all of these things are mirroring things for you. This is an " was the juice worth the squeeze?" reflection -opportunity. The setting was beautiful, the style was beautiful, the food looked beautiful, you looked beautiful... But you left yourself with no margin of error to FEEL beautiful, as if that didn't matter ...does that mirror stuff for you? ❤
You put on an amazing party, your guests should have had a blast and been very appreciative. I once heard someone say that it is the GUEST’S responsibility to make a party great. It is their job to mingle, socialize, interact, participate and help the host, not just sit there waiting to be entertained. I ALWAYS have this in mind when I go to a party or event and I do my job.
Absolutely! When I attend a party, I can see how much love and work went into it, and I make sure to do my part by having a great time and creating the fun, chatty, classy atmosphere that the hostess envisioned ❤
Sometimes planning an event is more fun than the actual event. Sometimes it just be like that. Seems like you made some really great memories along the way that make it all worthwhile.
@@Caroline_Winkler I think this EVERY time I plan an event! I wanted to mention that the guest chemistry can sometimes throw off the vibe. Not that your friends aren't amazing, but you never know, maybe someone wasn't feeling well or had an argument with their partner on the way over. Also, my nighttime events, with lots of wine, are always more fun than the day parties I've planned -- next time! You did an AMAZING job!!
@@vanessagray4933 this is insightful. Sometimes if a guest isn't having a good time it has nothing to do with the party and more to do with something going on in their personal life
This is actually a quote from Captain Picard from Star Trek (yep, bear with me lol): " It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life." The vibe of a day can be influenced and encouraged but never controlled because we all bring our own energy levels and what's going on lately in our own lives to it. The picnic looked cute as heck, and I'm 100% that your friends truly felt honored that you took the time to host something like this for them. Adults don't often get to feel pampered of and cooked for so we know it's a special thing. 💛
As a massively anxious person and seasoned control freak who hosts 4-5 of these events per year in my garden for around 10-15 friends at a time, I've learned the following: 1) Develop expectations only for what you can control: aesthetics and food. The moment the first person arrives you've lost all control and that is OK. 2) Allow for people to change your vision of the event on the spot. I've had a meticulously prepared 5 meter long table completely ignored by guests who simply started gathering around a little chill out area on a corner and bringing their plates to eat there. It was fine. 3) There's so much you can do to try to steer the energy. There's a point where you just have to stop being this attentive powerhouse and just grab a cocktail, sit down near one of your best friends and have a laugh. People are not stupid, and if they feel your have huge expectations for the event and their behaviour they will stiffen up. In my experience, the moment you start giving less fucks is the moment everyone relaxes. That being said, I can't really imagine having to record a fricking video for a 200K audience whilst doing all this. Kudos to you.
This is great advice! Especially that last one is one I’ve struggled with (fussing so much about whether everyone is having a good time that no one is having a good time). Thanks for sharing
When you said (around 15:47) that you know viewers like to see “inspirational” videos, I have to respectfully disagree. What I love most about your videos is your honesty and vulnerability. NTM your humor. It makes me feel less alone with regards to the stress I put on myself. You spent so much time, effort, and money doing this for your loved ones and that’s what matters!! Remember that if any of them judged you because it wasn’t absolutely “instagram perfect” (which I think it was) then they don’t deserve to be in your circle. It was amazingly beautiful!!
My favourite part was when you said you were disappointed that it wasnt aspirational/inspirational.....then went on to deliver such an inspirational message ❤️ Love your videos Caroline, they're a breath of fresh air in this "only show the highlights" world! ❤
The thing to remember about hosting is that no one knows what is in your plan or in your head, so if have to improvise or scrap something, no one except you will even know it is “missing.” You did a wonderful thing for your friends. As always, thank you for sharing and being genuine and being you.
So many RUclipsrs would have faked this video. They would have lied and said the day was awesome and everyone had an amazing time. Thank you so much for being real. It wasn't a failure but it also wasn't what you'd hoped and as someone who also has hosting anxiety, that feeling is the most relatable thing, I have it after every single event I host 😂. But thank you so so much for keeping it real and honest.
I'm in the middle of watching this. I clicked on it thinking "oh picnics. this will be a nice cozy vlog." and then BAM, first minute of voiceover "hosting is hard when you're insecure." LOL. I shouldn't have expected anything less than relatable chaos.
I am your parent’s age and have entertained for decades. It is a ton of work and threefold to shlep it all to another location. And erecting a yurt - OMG! Your comment about the importance of the hostess being relaxed is so true. I want to enjoy myself so I do absolutely everything possible before the guests arrive. Like you, I love creating the tablescape and do it at least a day ahead. I leave an hour or so to have a beer and listen to music before guests land, being relaxed is key to people feeling welcome. Never try to hard, plan a menu that you are extremely confident with. Everybody loves a burger!
i love your idea of leaving an hour or so before to relax. getting that time to sit and soak it up before the socializing starts sounds so sweet and important
This is such good advice. I am your age and still manage to wreck my own events with the sheer effort i am putting into them - the strain is felt by everyone. It would actually be more fun if everyone turned up unannounced and we pulled together a meal from what is in the cupboards or local shops as there would be no shame in a lack of preparation and no expectations ... and I know they are my expectations, not those of the guests. I am going to try top do as you do. Might take a bottle of wine rather than just one beer though 🙄
I love this tip of prioritizing time to chill before an event. I have certainly worked until guests arrive and been left feeling that there is much more to do! In reality, I need to create a longer prep time. I know that the feeling that everything is ready and taking time to prepare myself is important to me. That is my favorite time, which puts me in the mood before I attend other's gatherings. Why not apply this to my own events? A great idea. Thank you!
What you & Justin pulled-off in LESS than 3 HOURS was EPIC! That was a lot of work and it looked wonderful! I say this from experience…I’ve been an event planner for over 40-years and have hosted THOUSANDS of events. You did a GREAT job! The next time you do this, it will be MUCH easier…you already know how to assemble the awesome yurt…you KNOW to build more time into it to give yourself a breather AND just look what you discovered in Justin! He is THERE for you, girl! Do it again, I PROMISE it will be more fun…I dare you! You’re awesome! 😊
@deborahbradley7530 I'm curious to ask an event planner, in your experience what do successful events have in common, and likewise is there some commonality to parties that fail? I know sometimes its like trying to catch lightening in a bottle
@@Mimulus2717 Good question. I’d venture to guess nowadays that successful events include alcohol, weed and great music 😝 but I think it mostly depends on the people and their moods? Maybe it was the moon. I’m 62 and when I attend an event, I am determined to have a great time and let nothing get in the way of that.
@@Mimulus2717 Sure! In a nutshell, It’s all in the energy of the room. All successful events have an ebb and flow. Most good parties start high, because everyone is excited to get together…which leads to the quieter moments…during dining and conversation, (this “low energy” time is when the introverts get comfortable with their surroundings and enjoy themselves)…and then back to the livelier moments later (when everyone is comfortable with each other and have “happy bellies”). But you’ve gotta have both high & low. It’s important to recognize when the energy is not “low” but slowing, (especially if the event is not over), SLOWING can be the death of the party…but you can quickly reverse the de-escalation and ramp it up with music. (And good food and drink never hurts.) You know its been a great party when your face hurts and no ones wants to leave! I hope this helps.😊
Something my best friend said when I told her that I was a bad friend when I lived with her while I was divorcing came up for me while I was watching this. I apologized for all the crying and being pathetic while we ate a pot of her favorite meal of mine: chicken chili with pinto beans. She said to me, “Hmm, all I remember was my best friend lived with me and sometimes she made chili.” Your friends may have been disappointed in the moment, but when they look back on this, all they will remember is how that one time their dear friend Caroline threw them a beautiful picnic. You are the sweetest person alive. You may not think so right now, but all I can think of is how the sweetest person alive keeps making us videos and letting us all be a part of her adventure.
This is a sweet reminder and very true, but I also still don't understand how anyone could be disappointed in great food and a lovely gorgeous picnic??
@@serevaetse same! I was so surprised to hear her say that. I don’t think any of my friends would dare allow themselves to be disappointed! Although there was that time I threw that party and made a weird stew…
Don’t give up! Hosting period is hard for us introverts and hosting in a park is REALLY hard! It’ll get easier. You have to do reps. It’s not silly- you’re practicing connection and it’s important. You did it with people who love you. I get into interpersonal nonsense with my spouse too often when we host bc of my stress and you know what? We’re fine and happy and we’ve learned to laugh about it and roll with it, though I’m still always stressed! Consider having it at your place next time. It’s easier bc everything’s there already. You did good.
Omg, this could be your annual bell tent picnic 😊 Talk about getting the reps in! Ask everyone to bring a dish, or a game, give it a place in the social calendar. And make use of that gorgeous tent! 😍
Caroline you are such an amazing friend. I just moved to a new city and know pretty much no one so I've really been seeing just how much those interpersonal connections mean to our daily lives. If I one of the people I meet out here puts even half the effort you just did into ANYTHING I'm invited to, I will remember to tell them how delighted and grateful I am. It's inspiring how much you care and reflect but I really hope they give you your flowers for this one. We all need a Caroline in our lives
I freaking love this woman !!! She is so real, brilliant, hilarious, talented, and all around amazing. Thank you for always being you and sharing with us your creativity and realness ❤
I second the people saying to keep the yurt and do it again!! Put all the stuff you bought in a "picnic tote" and have it ready to whip out spontaneously! This has happened to me so many times where I didnt do my hair and makeup or change my clothes because I was trying to rush last minute and you just feel off the rest of the time because you know you dont look ready. but I heard a tip for hosting just prioritizing the steps of getting ready get your self ready first and save making food for last because its natural for guests to arrive and help/watch you finish up food but awkward to have them wait while you get ready or clean your bathroom haha.
This. I learnt this the hard way with my baby shower (which we hosted) and my children’s early birthdays. I need to prioritise getting myself showered etc to then do last minute touches while early/on time guests arrive to start the party in a happy place
I always set an alarm for myself for the do or die - time to get ready and everything else can wait. Usually guests don’t mind helping set up a few things too so that can be lower on the priority list.
I have learned that hosting is not my gift so I just enjoy quiet picnics with my husband!! No more pressure just doing what I enjoy with the person I enjoy most!! And I have never seen a picnic set up this epic!!!!! You are insanely creative!!
As a former professional cook, a bread knife is the best for cutting a tomato. And it's a knife, so it'll be good to cut anything else. Also, I relate to you not doing things because of disappointment being a companion. By choosing to do this, even if it didn't go exactly as you hoped or what have you, is a step away from disappointment being familiar. Like someone else said in the comments, keep doing reps. You mean a lot to those people who showed up, and a great party doesn't change that (and if it does, well screw 'em.) YOU ARE DOING GREAT (sulk, cry, feel down, but encourage yourself.)
I can relate to this so much. The first parties and events i’ve hosted were so fancy and planned to a T, i did a handful of backyard garden parties with with rugs and furniture and fairy lights and I was totally perfectionistic and neurotic and stressed about it (but pretending not to be and trying to convince myself I wasn’t too). After hosting several parties and picnics I learned to simplify my parties and went to the complete opposites end of the spectrum, throwing last minute parties, doing only a quick house cleaning the day of, and offering the bare minimum; bbq brats, salad, and chips (and told people they could bring a dish if they wanted). This reallllly helped me find a middle ground. Now I can host stress free with any level detail and aesthetics that I feel like adding. It took me doing it over and over again to realize I have great friends and family that aren’t there to judge my hosting skills, but are there because they love me and want to enjoy their time in the presence with friends
Your videos are high art in every way. I relate in many elements to you here - the stress buildup of an event, trying to be “perfect”, disappointment and failures, and yet gratitude and grace you give yourself as you go through it all. It’s a lot, no wonder you cried! I would’ve too. Thanks for sharing your experiences with us 🧡
I feel you, the worst thing for me when I am hosting is when the guests dont match the vibe/ they dont feel the same level of excitment about the event as you and as you would like them to. I cant help but feel down when that happens. But recently I realised that sometimes when people go through stuff in their lives they cant always match your energy and thats okay - important thing is they showed up and tried to enjoy what you prepared for them. They still love you even if they are not in a place to be as excited about it as you. Thank you for this video, it was really beautiful and the food looked great. The ending was really honest and thank you for that, too. I feel like many people would rather pretend everything was perfect. The truth is better, because you can be free of the pressure of perfection.
You were just a few comfy pillows away from nailing it. Your artistic touches like the vibrant colors, the beautiful place settings and picnic menu showcased your creativity. Hosting is hard and as your first attempt you did awsome, so hug Justin and know how much we enjoy your genuineness. 💟
ugh yes! i think i needed cushions. i also debated getting those little lawn chairs that fold up, because i have pretty bad back pain and i knew the ground would be tough. but then i was like "caroline you're overdoing it! dont be so DESPERATE!!!" haha. i think it would have been a game changer though. im definitely gonna try again, and hopefully get better!
Sounds to me like a great chance to value and honour your own needs, and not put them behind everyone else's. You were judging yourself for a health need and it made you feel like you were making a fuss I think, but the truth is that I think your body, mind and soul needed that wee chair and the cushions, but you were so focused on everyone else and getting it perfect that you neglected your body's needs. As someone who has been in a toxic relationship before, I recognise this sign of too much self sufficiency and feeling awkward when others genuinely try to help without stress or wanting anything in return. In a relationship with someone who is not like this, one tends to be the giver, the fixer, the one who's solely responsible for everything going right, from a picnic to the entire goddamn relationship, haha. To shed this can be a difficult process but it's part of healing. Emotionally available, healthy people want to help. Sometimes we feel we must do things perfectly because otherwise people in our life won't be happy or even give us a hard time. Emotionally healthy people desire connection with us. If we want to do everything ourselves, that can be fun, but sharing the responsibilities can be such a charming and fun way to create more human and emotional connection with each other. Maybe we also grew up with the image of the perfect host of a woman that creates these outstanding events - but perhaps this is part of a previous generation where there was this kind of pressure on women. These days, I think it's beautiful that an event can be the perfect experience and memory because of how nonchalantly it's all done, with the host being part of something he or she creates for her own enjoyment at well. You're all doing it together in some way, and you can lean back and just relax and ease into the moment as you watch people having a good time. Imperfection is vital for that, I think. Does that make sense...? I feel a shit ton of empathy and self compassion towards that part of ourselves that had to carry the burden of everything that really should have been shared by two people is the way to healing. Love yourself and appreciate yourself for this beautiful and romantic idea! I have never seen such a gorgeous picnic set up in my entire life and I mean it! You did incredibly well, and next time you will have so much more fun with it, because you having fun with it matters, too! Lots of love and sorry for getting all deep and stuff, I was just free styling, haha 😆💖💖💖
I can't edit my comment so I just wanted to say with toxic relationship I do NOT mean Justin, but potentially something from before you once told us about. Maybe that's not the source of why you're being so hard on yourself, though, and I don't want to presume things that aren't the case. It's really just a thought because it was like this for me and I was just happily people pleasing away and putting myself under enormous stress in the wake of it. Whatever the reason, we deserve so much better!! Again, I wouldn't have been able to sleep with nerves and I think you did so incredibly well! Lots of love 💕💕
@@Caroline_Winklerthe whole video, but especially this comment, I FELT. This is exactly how my internal dialog runs. Thanks for putting it out there. It makes me feel less alone.
In my opinion, every get together needs some low volume background music. It fills in the the spaces of silent moments and sometimes a particular song can start a conversation or revive a memory. You did a beautiful job and good for you for not cancelling and sticking with your original plan.
Hosting is SO much work. People don’t realize it is a week-long affair. It’s one of those shocks in adulting: the realization that the family holidays you’ve gone to your whole life and took for granted were each an incredible masterpiece of preparation, vision, skill, and perfect timing. Makes me love my mom, aunt, grandma, stepmom even more :) Next time, do as much as you can ahead of time. Like anything at all non-perishable can be prepped ahead and put in the right place.
This is so true! I host for Thanksgiving and start cooking 2 weeks ahead. (Frozen stuff - gravy, pie crusts) Cooking everything same day is impossible.
Yes absolutely preparing ahead of time will take the day off a little less stressful. I would at least go shopping the day or two before and do prep work, chopping, portion things out. Also having your guests bring an item that they like or beverages will take some of your load off. They will also feel involved. Overall Caroline you did amazing!
I honestly think it wasn't because your friends weren't having fun, but that they were probably on guard because they knew the cameras were rolling. That's how I would have been at least. You did a BEAUTIFUL job. I told my husband 'watch this girl', remember her because she's going places.
Yeah, that was my thought too. I have no social media presence and I don't want one. I think sometimes there's a disconnect between people who have gotten comfortable putting themselves online and those that would rather not. It's still a good video idea, but I'd probably have just filmed the set up/ food prep and then a recap of how the event went afterwards. Letting the attendees know that they won't be filmed (unless they want to) might make them feel more at ease. I know it would for me anyway 😅
I would feel uncomfortable I I was being recorded for a RUclips video while at a picnic and if had to sit directly on the ground like that. Maybe no blankets and instead some floor pillows? that….kudos to you for speaking the truth about facing fears, experiencing disappointment and regret and still persevering. You are an incredible young woman.
hosting in itself is a lot to handle, you schlepping everything into a park is even harder. Thanks for your honesty, I love that about you: no masking, no perfect picture, just you being authenticly you. Refreshing and healing, you're amazing for sharing this with us 💚
For me, the success of this picnic came at the beginning of the whole process….when you decided to go for it, going all in with your inimitable style and full heart in the creative endeavor!! YAY!!!
Maybe it wasn’t what you wanted, but the message is what this viewer needed to hear. I’m not saying I’m glad you feel bad, I’m saying I’m glad that I’m not the only one who has felt this way and continues to feel this way. You’re helping me overcome my own hosting insecurities. And that to me is inspiring. I hope you get to host more picnics in the future because it looked lovely. I would absolutely come to a picnic you host!
Often it is the energy we bring that sets the mood, far more than the energy put in to setting everything up. We want perfection and often it is our hyper-focus on any imperfection that can spoil the atmosphere for everyone. I find myself explaining to everyone attending what I wanted and where I failed. Like explaining what is wrong with a haircut when someone compliments your hair. I refer to it as the "yeahbut" disease.
Fellow adhder here. I can relate to so much of this. Building things up in my mind. Being so excited by the creative process and imagining it all and then when it comes to the execution becoming very overwhelmed. I have learned that if I am going to put this much effort into something I only invite those who will be able to share in the excitement/joy/experience and who appreciate it in the same way otherwise I end up feeling very alone in it and disappointed.
I found it very relatable as well. It doesn't help that those of us with adhd often experience real & perceived rejection with greater intensity than other folks. And after a couple decades+ of experience, I know it can really be a hard headspace to get out of ♥
Caroline, you have performed an enormous public service in bringing us this video. My daughters are older than you, but I’ve never seen anyone share the true nuts an bolts of hosting something, and I so appreciate it. I loved a whole lot in your video. Your project was more ambitious than anything I could attempt, but I learned a great deal. I can empathise! My dream would be to be the hostess with the mostest, but it scares me. You are wonderful, Justin is a treasure and you deserve nothing less.
it isn't silly. the genralised narrative does not matter when things are so so important to certain parts of us. those parts of us are not living in the general scheme of things and that is why it hurts so much and for that part- this grief is actaually really big. so you are not silly for feeling what you are feeling. there is a part of you that this meant a lot to and it is okay to validate and grieve that without rationalising it. i hope this part of you that loves to create colourful spaces and experiences for people can come out to play again when it feels healed and ready because it is such a beautiful and thoughful part. take care
i appreciate this a lot :) i got very worried how it would go over on the internet to say that i felt down over something so insignificant. but it was just one of those days where you try a lot..and things just dont go the way you envisioned. the disappointment and embarrassment was real - that everyday-kind-of-real. i'm glad i got to share some part of that here
6:17 THANK YOU! Thank you for talking about your experience with how you had a hard time accepting that someone would just genuinely want to help you and the way you navigated that. I can relate to this SO deeply and it really, really helps to hear someone else articulate the process. ❤
I never comment on RUclips videos, but I feel the need to say that you're so brave for putting yourself out there and sharing your experience with us. So many of us relate so hard and appreciate the vulnerability. Also, there are hundreds of people on your channel who would be so lucky to be your friend and get an invite to your picnics! Put a little less pressure on yourself and put yourself out there again :)
This is the way I felt at my wedding. I never had things the way I wanted growing up, so at the wedding things didn't really look and feel the way I wanted and it felt like people weren't having a good time, especially because it was really small, just family and our closest friends. At the time I was pretty depressed and the wedding prep was the only thing that kept me going. Only couple of months later I got laid off from work and needed to seek professional help. From the start I wanted just a simple ceremony with just me, my husband and couple of witnesses. I still feel that would've been the right thing to do.
The way you talk about yourself sometimes (“I couldn’t believe someone was actually happy to help me”, “what if I invite people and no one shows up”) makes me so sad, and at the same time it makes me realize I talk to myself the same way. You’re such an inspiration to me and watching you learn to love yourself despite the way you speak to yourself sometimes is very reassuring. Like, I can always work toward feeling better even when I don’t feel like enough.
My friend constantly reminds me that comparison is the thief of joy but I think expectations steal joy as well. You did a really beautiful thing both for your friends and yourself. ❤
15:17 idk if you mentioned it, sorry if you did, but were you playing music? Sometimes that’s all that’s missing to make a vibe come together. ❤ I think a big part of the reason I don’t celebrate my birthdays or host parties is kind of due to the emotions you’re going through now. I think I like .. imagine the most beautiful movie-like montage of scenes of perfect moments.. sporadic dancing, glasses clinking, hilarious anecdotes, and then when the vibe is not immaculate, I am like “…oh yeah this is why I don’t do this.” BUT what’s so funny now that I’m thinking about it… it’s always my own events. I am rarely so critical of events hosted by others. Even when there’s dull moments, I don’t walk away being critical, I think of all the good parts. So I’m thinking that I need to - and maybe you do too - need to try viewing it as if your friend threw the pic nic. I bet you’d be like “omg she hosted the cutest picnic I can’t believe she picked out all of that and made this food and planned all of this she is so cute and talented.” Im rambling now so I’ll stop but hopefully you see this and get what I’m sayin cuz you a gem boo
It's scary the power embarrassment has over us. I can think of an incident 10 yrs ago and feel the shame rush back. By sharing this you've taken that power back - owning your embarrassment and using it to grow. Inspiring!
I nearly had a nervous breakdown doing everything for my daughter’s wedding. It caused me so much stress that I can’t listen to any of the songs from the playlist without feeling PTSD. I analyzed everything afterwards waaaaaay toooooo muuuuuch! Oh, and I lost half my hair and too much weight! It was a party! How did it get to be a mental health crisis??? Anyway, thank you for being so real about your feelings! You may have just helped thousands of people learn something very important. Each of us got something different out of your video: be brave; embrace your fantasies; shop in thrift stores for the most charming and unique party supplies; find a partner who is supportive (bonus if they are a good cook); give yourself double the time you think you’ll need to set up; prioritize physical comfort of guests; have multiple fun activities; fun music makes everything better; do the most important things first; apologize in advance to your partner that you will probably be snippy….
This picnic may not have gone as planned, but the video about the picnic turned into a major video success if you ask me! I related to this so much. Thanks for being so real and reminding us that not everything has to be perfect, and also it's okay to accept big help and big love without feeling like a burden.
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability with us! As a former event planner, I completely resonate with the feeling of an event not having the spark you aimed to experience. Would highly recommend asking your friends to contribute as aforementioned. But FURREAL simply putting your purest feelings out there for us to witness was super beautiful for you to do. You didn’t have to give us a closing like that, let alone recognize that you weren’t satisfied with your results. Your journey will inspire others. Keep vibing!
I have learned that anticipation kills events, activities, vacations, or whatever else for me. If I book something months in advance I will fixate on it and stress myself out about it to the point that once it is finally happening I struggle to enjoy it. For me, it’s hard to be in the moment when I have been dreaming of the very moment and how it should play out. This was a wonderful video, and you have successes in inspiring me. I think excessive picnics, with friends or for yourself, if such a beautiful expression. I want nothing more than to drag blankets and fancy dish ware and eat new recipes in a local park or even my front yard right now. The unspoken message I got from this is that there are no rules saying I can’t throw myself a lovely party even if there is no specific occasion. You did wonderful Caroline!🎉
yeah, do this thing spontaneously. Have a picnic set-up ready. Call friends on a nice day, everyone grabs something to eat/drink and share and you just meet up...
The picnic looks absolutely lovely. I can't imagine reacting with anything less than joy and amazement if a friend organized something like this and I was invited. Your vivacity and love of life is beautiful, and it inspires me to go out and live my life and live with love and intention. Keep doing you
Don’t be so hard on yourself! You are allowed to be disappointed, you put so much love, time, energy and money into it, you were brave to put yourself out there and host. I can’t imagine it being a failed event though, just different than you imagined. You learnt so much and found out so many things about yourself, hosting and your relationship while preparing this, and that new knowledge is incredibly valuable ❤️ thank you for showing every part of it, being open and honest with your disappointment, it happens to all of us and is so reassuring ❤️
This! Exactly what I want to say. Hosting is very hard and stressful. Give yourself some grace. Your guests loved it, and appreciated the effort you made despite what you may think.
Girl, don’t give yourself such a hard time! It’s great you out so much effort into spending a beautiful time with your friends. If I can make a suggestion, music!!!! I hosted my friends for the first time last week and I can 100% say the fact that I had a nice jazz playlist playing the whole time so if there ever was moments of quietness or stillness, the jazz would take over and make everyone feel great and relaxed. Just something to consider but please know your friends would have appreciated your efforts more than you could ever imagine. Love you and love your videos, you are always inspirational ❤️
Lots of wisdom in your reflections, and in the many comments, but maybe the most important lesson is at the very end: "also, look at these ducks". You gave your friends a lovely gift, as did Justin, and you both deserve the peace of a party concluded! ☺
Caroline firstly you've got a great boyfriend who supports you! That' s huge. The amount of effort you took is orgainse this lovely colourful picnic was intense. Give yourself some credit, girl. Think positive and go forward. Most importantly you're funny, intelligent and truthful and that counts a lot. Forget about being a perfectionist.
As someone who works in events, when I saw you standing in an empty tent with “1 hour until guests arrive” my heart skipped. These things always take longer than you expect, and having the “calm before the storm” moment to go and reset, get showered and get ready is really crucial in making the vibes feel right for the event. “Pre-event” Caroline and “Event Host” Caroline are two very people, and if your guests turn up and are greeted with the wrong version of you they can tell. It feels like they are intruding, like they’ve arrived too early and aren’t welcome yet. And likewise you as the host slightly resent their arrival too and struggle to relax and switch off “Pre-event Caroline”. Next time, allow loads more time, 4 hours minimum. Do everything that can be done in advance if you can (putting lanterns on fairy lights can be done in front of the TV days before etc), and enlist some more help. Delegating the food to Justin was a brilliant idea, that removed a whole element from your plate, but having another pair of hands and another brain on the decor and set-up would have eased the mental stress for you too. Almost everyone in life is generally on your side, so they’ll be glad, if not flattered, if you ask them to help you when it matters.
A friend that goes to that much effort to put on such a quaint event- girl, you need to celebrate the imperfections and not let it bother you! What you did was so thoughtful, and that is what the world needs more of. ❤
Sooooo. I never comment on anything. Ever. In fact, this is my first comment. Ever. I can honestly say that I look forward to your videos and your commentary. Your realness is refreshing. You articulate everything I often feel. You could be my sister. You could be my friend. In a universe full of everyone trying to be the same, you are the most amazing, beautiful YOU. And you make me feel less alone. Thank you 💜
I felt this exact same after hosting my birthday. I did an elaborate tea party at home, decorated, made sandwiches, gave lots of chooses of tea, make themed games, and I felt my guests being a bit embarrassed to be here. I was sad. Especially when a month later, we hosted my husband's birthday with nothing but potato chips and a half cleaned flat and everyone was having a good time. It's not easy, but sometimes easy is better. Anyway, congrats for doing something out of the ordinary ! 👏That's how you make memories, you'll look back on photos and think "You know what ? That was nice!"💕
Your birthday tea party sounds so fun!❤ I would love to go to something like that. I am super detail oriented and this sounds like a dream come true for my inner child. I’m sorry your guests couldn’t match your excitement. I’ve been through similar times with friends and it’s so lonely when everyone leaves and I’m sapped. Sometimes it’s not personal, others just aren’t in the same headspace as we wish them to be. Sending you a hug dear 🤗
@@Caroline_Winklerthey’re not all winners, and I’m sure your guests feel differently about your picnic than you do and will remember it fondly, but I’m sorry you were disappointed with the outcome. Don’t let it deter you from doing one again! Thank you for inviting us along. It looked great!
Caroline, this is why we all adore you and your videos…your honesty is beautiful! We all struggle now and then. And just because it’s not a life or death situation doesn’t mean we need to minimize its importance. You put your heart and soul into this. It shows. I’m 63 and have thrown very few parties (because I struggle with similar insecurities) but my most successful gatherings were when I delegated music, games, and food saving the ambiance for myself because it’s so fun to play with. Be proud of yourself for exploring the world of Martha Stewart…even she wasn’t perfect at first. ❤
Awww baby girl!! 1. I always appreciate how honest you always are. 2. I have been in your exact situation. I think what's great about this experience is that you have all of things to do this again and reevaluate what you need (energetically, help, time wise, etc) for the next time. I hope you make a part 2 in the future because this still looked AMAZING for doing something that genuinely scared you. So hopefully it's less scary to try again. Don't forget to be kind to little Caroline she did great even if it didn't work out the way you wanted. Sending a big hug
Hospitality is a mindset and a skillset and the skillset takes some practice! Every time you do a thing like this, you dial in what matters and makes it fun for everyone a little more. I have a little handwritten note like a recipe that my great grandmother wrote about a fun party she threw and it always stuck with me that one of the main attractions was a giant silver bowl of potato chips - she knew her audience!
So appreciated this level of honesty/realness. I know you couldn’t describe the feeling in words but I immediately knew EXACTLY how you felt - it’s something I’ve struggled with a lot in my life. I’m very sensitive to ‘energy’ and I do the exact same thing in terms of putting my all into something in the hope that it’s going to be the most beautiful, the most vibey, the most delicious - essentially the most of the most - and then if it doesn’t work out the disappointment is crushing. I’ve pulled back a lot from doing this sort of thing in the last few years because I found I couldn’t cope with the emotional repercussions. Life is more peaceful and emotionally even but less rich too. I’m not sure which is better. Either way, as much as I don’t feel good that you felt this way, it did help a lot to know that it’s not just me. And you’ve also reminded me that sometimes you have to feel the fear and do it anyway. Love your channel so much - thank you for producing such amazing, funny, intelligent and very human videos. We love you for it!
Not silly. This is your job and you're a Creative. You wanted to execute the vision you have in your head and heart. But the best thing about it is 'art' is CRAFT. So, I see you doing the remix of this party; several episodes; many changed aspects and themes until you feel the flow that you felt in your little creative heart was missing. You're a true artist, baby girl. Those feelings are always gonna be there as you work your craft - they are part of the confirmation.
The best brunch I experienced was just asking everyone to bring their favorite dish and reading material and we all just sat around casually having a leisurely Sunday browsing magazines & newspapers and chatting. Definitely keep the Yurt but maybe setting it up at an AirBnB or beach rental to use over the weekend with friends in multiple ways such as yoga, romantic fondu dinners, etc.. Agree about the back support. Your instincts were good! Love those rugs - so cute.
I'm in awe of how brave and sincere you are. I know this feeling when you're afraid of something, but you decide to go towards fear uplifting yourself that it's going to be okay, and then what you're afraid of kinda happens. It feels extremely hard and I appreciate that you've shared how it actually went with us. The fact that you tried, survived it and was honest about it speaks volumes about how brave and strong you are. Damn girl, you're inspiring me even in failure
Hosting is my love language and I'll share the secret of a perfect party: it's all about loving people well. Some of the best parties of mine have had zero decorations, not enough seating, and not enough forks. The most important thing to prepare for a party is your heart. Choose one wow factor, invite guests to help, and give them a warm welcome. Works every time.
What are your ideas for “wow” factor? I’m learning to host more since owning a house and need to get better at it. It requires so much energy and preplanning.
@@anastasiya8314 It totally depends on the party. Sometimes it's a really creative cake for a birthday, or a really special meal, fancy tablescape, or a live band. Just pick one element to leave an impression and let go of expectations. Hungry for Home is a great channel with lots of good hosting tips!
As someone weeks away from the wedding I've spent a year planning, this was extremely relatable to watch and has reminded me that the most important thing is to just try and enjoy the day. Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest with us! Also, I think you'll like this book - The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker. She recommends focusing more on prepping the guests vs prepping the aesthetics - which is understandably what most of us automatically focus on more! I wouldn't see this event as a failure, it's just a learning opportunity - you've already learned so many things to make any future event you hold better!
As soon as you put up the tent, I saw the vision. And then you set the table, and just, *chef's kiss*. I know the point of the vid is about how it didn't go exactly the way you wanted it to but does anything literally ever? Such a fun idea in the first place, so kudos to you for taking all that on. Your friends are so lucky they got to be a part of it!
I am so in awe of you and your bravery to put yourself out there. This community of humans, many of them women, meeting up in your comment sections feels so warm to me - everytime! I enjoy your videos so much, Caroline! I don't know if you realize it, but you create so much space for emotional truthfulness in an online world that so often only makes space for the "pretty" feelings (whatever that means). Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. It may sound like an insignificant thing and maybe it truly is a little bit silly to talk about RUclips videos in this manner - but I really think that what we see and consume everyday shapes the way we live collectively. Thank you for creating this corner where we can be vulnerable and shine a light on all these feelings!
Thank you for showing the vulnerable side of hosting an amazing event. It’s so beautiful and I’m sure your guests realize all the hard work pouring into it.
The set up was a pinterest dream! The psychllogical set up was: We get married in 3 hours, but we have yet to build the church. From scratch. It looked wonderful! I'm sorry your expectations weren't met but you did a great job wrapping up the thoughts! Make it an annual thing. My first christmas hosting was absolute chaos. The 5th was way better =D
Hosting people is is an art form! There are so many things to think about beyond the tangibles (food, tablescape, lighting, gifts). I only learned that when I read the Art of Gathering. If hosting is something you’re interested in doing better, I strongly recommend reading it! Priya Parker is a master and AMAZING at helping people move away from the Martha-Stewart-style hosting (where you prepare the things) to preparing yourself and the guests attending. All in all, I loved watching this video *because* of your transparency. The Internet has so many people performing life and not enough people documenting what living life is actually like. This felt like a documentary that I would have loved to see seven years ago when I was first starting my hosting journey and am glad it’s around now for everyone else! Great video and great job planning the event. P. S. The menu, and the table scape were stunning!!
Please don't be so hard on yourself. No one attains perfection. They do attain beautiful picnics and nice friends who love what you did and appreciate you to pieces. Not a bad thing to have accomplished!! ♥
Oh Caroline! It was beautiful and please don’t be hard on yourself or give up hosting! I’m 54 and have hosted numerous parties, holiday meals and most recently my daughter’s wedding including the rehearsal dinner. It is exhausting and we get our hopes and expectations so high and sometimes forget to enjoy it. You are 10 times more talented than I am and just keep hosting, I promise you’ll begin to have a better after feeling. I think everyone probably already said this, but ask for help! It’s way more fun setting up with friends… my friends were my heros during the wedding events.
Girl..the fact that you would go that above and beyond for friends is why I’d love you more, if you were one of mine. You BF is such a gem, too! Any man that will offer to cook for my party is definitely a keeper🥰
I came for the interior decorating stuff but stayed for this kind of content! I love these life type of videos from you. They always feel relatively realistic and emotionally realistic. These videos have been a piece of helping me put my mind back together a little bit after navigating some intense life changes that all happened during Covid. I’m in a little bit of an optimistic place now, thank you ☺️
Caroline! This is a party that you will appreciate later on. The yurt! The blankets! The table setting! The flowers! The river! How GORGEOUS! You will forget your sadness and will only remember the awesomeness and be proud of yourself for creating this
I would be a picnic basket case if I had to do all that 😂 But seriously, you did great. I planned an after-party for close friends after our wedding reception (not a huge traditional wedding, but still a LOT of planning, doing our own flowers, making my own outfit, DIYing cake stands for each table out of dollar-store plates and glasses for the supermarket cakes, etc.) Anyhoo, I stocked up on food and drinks for the house afterparty and literally the only people to come were our two friends we were driving to their hotel and were forced to be there 😂 Not what I envisioned, but neither is most of my life- or most of anyone’s, maybe ❤
I had this EXACT same experience for my 22nd birthday. My 21st had been a huge bash and kind of the perfect storm of everyone being available, the mood was great, and I had an amazing night. The next year I figured everything would fall into place again - oh how wrong I was. Almost no one showed up (lots of prior commitments, exams, out of town etc etc) and it was a really awkward party, especially because my crush showed up and I felt like a major loser. The great thing about it though is that wasn’t actually a reflection of who I was or my friendships. I really appreciate your reflection at the end. It looked so cute and I hope it doesn’t deter you from trying something in the future!!
I don't normally comment on videos, but I have to say that it's so refreshing to watch good content and listen to someone so relatable. I love that you're authentic and don't sugar-coat things or try to make everything seem 'perfect'. Maybe this video didn't end up being inspirational in the typical planned sense, but it was indeed inspirational in other ways. Thank you! It's extremely difficult to keep in mind that failing is normal, and it's okay to be down when things don't turn out right/as expected (we're human and need to feel our feels). Just because we fail does not mean that we are *failures*. And sometimes "Perfection" is incredibly unrealistic while "Good Enough" is actually more than enough. This is a mindset that I'm working on embedding into my own brain. ((also, thank you for the ducks lol))
Urggggg girl. Your bravery and authenticity is more aspirational than any fancy party could ever be. And making thousands of us feel less alone is a massive talent. That feeling you had is so normal, and you just gotta remind yourself that sometimes you just aren't seeing things clearly, especially when you have so much emotion invested in it. Your friends weren't lying. It was gorgeous. But also, sometimes gems come from yucky situations, and you gave the internet a gem here.
I am pretty sure your guests/friends had a perfect time. I think you sensed they were responding/reflecting on your energy, feeling nervous, and worrying about the ideal outcome. I do the same. I make my plan way too grand and worry about all the details, too, and sometimes, I see people reacting to my stiff energy. My stiff energy is unnecessary, but sometimes I have it. It is not that it doesn’t matter; it is that what they enjoy the most is you. Hosting a gathering is precious no matter what, and I am sure people appreciate your presence and your effort. It surely didn’t fail. ❤
It shocks me how raw, real and relatable you are every. single. dang. time. I would’ve LOVED to be at the picnic are you kidding meeeeeee PLS you are a champion my friend and those friends of yours… INCREDIBLY lucky to have you!
You say your friends weren’t having that good of a time, but Caroline how do you know they didn’t feel so completely calm, relaxed,content and at peace. Just because people aren’t laughing and on a high doesn’t mean it wasn’t good for them. The tent was beautiful, the food seemed delicious, your friends looked really nice, they looked relaxed and that does them so much good in this stressful demanding world we live in today. ❤❤❤
My mom was the most wonderful hostess. I was totally in awe of her. She could take a little time, and a few ingredients and create a wonderful experience. The feelings you described about your party is pretty much how I felt when I hosted. But, roll forward several years I realize my mom's greatest hosting gift was in making her guests feel comfortable. Keep throwing parties, it's experience and confidence that allow you to just relax and make your guests comfortable to enjoy the experience. The party you did was beautiful, the rest comes through practice and experience. Success comes in stages. Just my opinion. Lovely video, honest, open and relatable.
Ok. I'm at 2:15 and I had to stop and comment because the CUTENESS OVERLOAD IS LITERALLY TOO MUCH. I've been watching your videos for a couple of years now and seeing you live and struggle and live and thrive makes me happy. And less alone? Yes. It does. Anyway, just happy for you.
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You're a gem of a friend, my dear. This idea was beautiful, and next time--invite your guests to participate! Ask them ahead of time to bring their favorite dish, or a game to share. You weren't meant to put so much pressure on yourself, which I know you already know. Whenever I am a guest somewhere, I feel more comfortable if I am able to contribute (plus, I know it's less stress on the host).
I think this is so true
Sister!
i think this advice is spot on
❤
Agreed! You are gem! Next time invite them all to help. They will love that!!!
Ps Bring a battery operated fan, pillows and back support. 😉
Here to say that I watch your videos BECAUSE you admit to being embarrassed sometimes, you have a hard time believing your partner wants to help you, you put pressure on yourself and then feel disappointed. If I wanted to watch a perfect aesthetic picnic on RUclips, I could find it. But I've been looking for videos that make me feel less alone, make me feel like where I am is okay and that my feelings are normal. Perfect videos don't inspire me, yours does. Perfect videos make me feel bad. Yours makes me feel seen and relatable.
Yes!! I ❤ how real and honest Caroline is, she makes me laugh and get inspired, there are so many others on YT but I just don't feel anything, really wooden people haha but Caroline is amazing and adorable and has me in stitches laughing on each journey with her ❤
Totally agree! I love seeing real people having real experiences on RUclips- esp those who share their vulnerabilities, losses, embarrassments, etc. Helps us all feel like it’s totally okay for us to experience these too and that it’s, in fact, normal and to be expected. Takes the pressure off and helps me feel like there’s no one to compete with… but everyone to admire and love (including myself) for our quirky, imperfect humanness. Keep the genuine and candid videos coming! ❤ You rock for exactly who you are and for sharing this. I Love watching your videos. Well done. 🎉❤
Thank you for sharing the real you. You inspire me. Yours so fun to watch. I love how you edit, your personality is amazing. Thank you for helping me realize I can try something out of my comfort zone and that I might have feelings of inadequacy about. Now I want to try something like this. You didn’t fail you inspired💜 p.s. the red and white big dish you bought to use for this picnic is so wonderful to cook in. They are my favorite, I have the whole set.
Yes!! 🙌🏻 The part about fearing resentment with Justin helping was something I myself have struggled with and hadn’t ever heard anyone talk about!
Girl, girl, girlll, that party was awesome! What you are experiencing is a dopamine crash after weeks of anticipation - and it is completely normal for every brain to have to re-regulate after literally, months of excitement getting this party ready. Keep that yurt, and throw more parties, and the disregulation will lesson more and more over time. Thanks for bringing us along and for being sooo brave 😘
@@hettiegrubbs this happens to me after preparing for big events too!
@@han.nah. After hosting a big event my friends and I sit down after all the guests have left (usually at 2am) with a drink and toast to our “success!” No matter what happened or how we wish we had done things different - and this toast culminates the night on a positive note, which always feels good.
This is actually so insightful! Sometimes the fun and anticipation of planning the event is way more fun than the event itself. And hosting the event means all the fun of planning is coming to an end. Doesn’t mean the event itself was bad or didn’t go well!
This!🙌🏻
Not a failure. Have another picnic, now you know how to do it. X
As an ex party perfectionist, I know exactly how you feel. I've had parties go EXACTLY like that. So here's my unsolicited advice... I figured out why it happens I've figured out how to fix it.... Why it happens: you were scrambling and not ready when people arrived. Without fail, this has been the key ingredient to every lackluster vibe I've ever had at a party, whether it was one I've hosted or attended. How to fix it: be OVERLY prepared the day before by pre-assembling a much as possible. Really prioritize YOUR look (hair, outfit, makeup). And lastly, have one friend arrive a little early so there's already someone you like the most there when everyone else arrives. They will give you the oohs and aahs you need to get excited, they'll help with those last two minute things, and you can pour your first drink when they get there so you can start relaxing into your vibe. Finally, I really want to challenge you, Caroline, to host again very soon. Throw a "Hello October" party and serve a buffet of different soups in cute vintage tureens. Whatever you decide, it will be better next time, but don't let too much time pass. (Love watching you, girl)
Great advice!!!
This is really great advice.
This is awesome haha thank you. Can confidently smash event planning now
🤩 wow this is such great advice. Hope Caroline sees it! I agree - ie. the string lights and flowers you can prepare ahead of time. Lesson learned for all of us watching.
Also, thanks for being vulnerable and honest about how you felt and still put out a video like this! A lot of your videos are so perfect and feel out of reach. This makes us feel you’re a good and honest human.
really good advice! and a great idea for a video!
I never thought to find this much sincerity on the internet. This has happened to me multiple times and hearing you saying it out loud feels like taking a deep breath.
I love this little corner of the internet.
We all love (and need) the Caroline corner.
Seriously, can't tell you how many times I put time, effort, enthusiasm and money into making friends or family happy or try to do something special, and them to not give a shit or notice and it's quite hurtful. From the outside looking in, it seems that Caroline's party was great so I'm confused on what went wrong or why people weren't happy. I would have been ecstatic if a friend put this effort in for our friend group.
I cried watching your recap at the end. I’ve never felt so validated by RUclips content.
Most of the time what influencers share feels so unattainable. I appreciate you peeling back the layers and showing the disappointment too. You could have easily chosen not to share the tough moments, but I am so grateful that you did. I can relate to everything you shared from insecurities causing tension between myself and my man to feelings of failure etc.
Thank you so much for being vulnerable. I can’t even describe how encouraging it was for me to see this.
Yes! Wonderful picnic and moment of realness!!
So here's the thing: you went way out of your way to do something awesome for the people you love. When you do something out of love, there is NO way you can fail. Thank you for being you. You're an angel. 💖
i do actually agree with this!! ugh needed to hear it from someone else, thank you
I also think it's good to think about why you're doing something: is it actually out of joy and love, or are you trying to prove something to yourself and protect your ego? Perfectionism can really kill joy and love.
@@mchlle94I totally agree with you this was the first thing I thought. I was thinking about the "WHY." Abby theater kids all I can think of was the line when Gypsy Rose Lee says to Mama "I thought you did it for me Mama" and then the Mama Rose goes into one of the most iconic songs in theater history, ROSES TURN. The mama goes through a whole journey speaking out loud the things that she's gone through and what she was doing it for and why and how to realize at the end, that of course she did all the things she did for her kids but a lot of that was for her. No need to have regrets.
That thought that there could be a need to prove yourself and that being a perfectionist can kill Joy is a powerful thought.
I needed to hear this. I invited my friends over for my birthday celebration, to come and get cake and coffee. One was ill and couldn't come. One became ill after I couldn't come and pick her up (she thought 400m was too long to walk). One was on another island, and when I tried to reschedule with the last, for more fitting plans for 2, she was also feeling under the weather 🤕I try to convince myself that it is not because they don't like me.
Caroline, can you imagine if you'd been invited to such a sweet well-thought out picnic in the park? If one of your friends had invited you to such an event, you likely would have felt so honored, so touched that your friend would go to all that trouble to please you!🥰 All those lovely details, the yurt, the flowers, the watermelon salad, the cute low table and beautiful blankets, the lovely hanging lanterns, the setting by the water, every detail planned just to please your friends? I promise you, each one of them walked away feeling special, knowing they got invited to a picnic planned so thoughtfully by their dear friend. You honored them and I promise you, you are so loved.❤
I thought this too!
My thoughts exactly! I’m an event planner & former wedding planner - I find myself both proud and let down after Every. Single. Event. And yet, guests look past the faults I see and feel honored to have been treated to such a thoughtful experience 🩵
I’m sorry the day was stressful and a bit of a let down, but it’s clear you are a wonderful friend and incredible, strong, inspiring human.
Thank you for sharing the real stuff, Caroline. I’m new to your channel & totally obsessed - keep it up!
Thank you so much for always being real! The end of the video was so refreshing. I can’t really do social media because it just makes me feel kind of shitty to see everyone’s highlight reel, but I always feel so comforted by your videos and your presence on the internet. What a safe little corner of the internet I have found and you have created. Appreciate you, Caroline 💛
I second this comment
ah im glad that's how it felt. it was a weird day or so post picnic before i filmed the outro. i really didnt know how to pitch this video any more. it turned out so differently than i had expected. i always want videos to feel inspiring at the end, but more than that i want them to be true. so i sat down and filmed the intro and added the voiceover once i'd processed what i'd felt and learned. can't control the outcome!
I third this comment!
I agree :) you are such a gem. Your pinic looked beautiful and you are so brave naming something so real that so many of us experience. God I could relate! And I imagine there are SO many inspirational videos or curated pictures out there that didn't actually feel good on the inside and it is such a gift to us all to be reminded that having everything perfect isn't what makes it feel good and that feeling good is the point. And I'll just say again how beautiful what you made is! I hope you do it all again and just get to enjoy all that beauty!
🙌 so so true
“also, look at these ducks.” after this heartfelt monologue. this is why we love and adore you.
I’m a Pastors’ Wife. I constantly host baby showers, ladies activities and get togethers. I frequently feel the way you do.
I am learning to place less expectations on each event. There is nothing worse than unmet expectations.
Also, asking people to help in someway (bring dessert or a game) automatically makes them invested and takes the pressure off of you if things aren’t perfect.
You are such a lovely person! Thank you for your videos.
expectations!! yes. they're the darndest. i need to work on finding the balance between effort and acceptance
There's a story from Lake Wobegon Days about a pastor's wife, newly married and new to the small town. It was a Christmas party. She agonized over home-made cookies. The high school football team arrived first and devoured the cookies before anyone else could appreciate them. At first she was demoralized, but then she realized that she would never have to live up to that level of entertaining again. 😄
Gosh, I would have been worried about the weather cooperating for the entire month of planning!! So glad you had a beautiful day! I think that would have been all I needed in order to feel the success...yeah, something I couldn't control...what's that say about me? 🤔
If it feels significant, it's because on some deep level it is significant! Don't dismiss that valuable piece of insight...did you feel you had to EARN your friend's time/presence/actual friendship? Justin helped you out, and probably felt stressed too, not because you overworked him, but because of emotional -contagion. He mirrored your stress back to you! Another 'mirror' that you might have hit upon us the seating HAVING-NO-SUPPORT!!!!!!! When we're uncomfortable in ourselves our focus turns inwards towards our sore back/numb-bum/legs cramps. Social interaction requires an outward focus ...I think that's the 'lack' you were feeling. As the saying goes sell the sizzle, not the steak...but no amount of sizzle will distract you if the steak isn't cooked right. This was possibly a 'style over substance' oversight ...but all of these things are mirroring things for you. This is an " was the juice worth the squeeze?" reflection -opportunity. The setting was beautiful, the style was beautiful, the food looked beautiful, you looked beautiful... But you left yourself with no margin of error to FEEL beautiful, as if that didn't matter ...does that mirror stuff for you? ❤
You put on an amazing party, your guests should have had a blast and been very appreciative. I once heard someone say that it is the GUEST’S responsibility to make a party great. It is their job to mingle, socialize, interact, participate and help the host, not just sit there waiting to be entertained. I ALWAYS have this in mind when I go to a party or event and I do my job.
This part.
Absolutely! When I attend a party, I can see how much love and work went into it, and I make sure to do my part by having a great time and creating the fun, chatty, classy atmosphere that the hostess envisioned ❤
Sometimes planning an event is more fun than the actual event. Sometimes it just be like that.
Seems like you made some really great memories along the way that make it all worthwhile.
haha wow that is so true. i think maybe i just want to be the event...decorator. not the host haha
@@Caroline_Winkler I think this EVERY time I plan an event! I wanted to mention that the guest chemistry can sometimes throw off the vibe. Not that your friends aren't amazing, but you never know, maybe someone wasn't feeling well or had an argument with their partner on the way over. Also, my nighttime events, with lots of wine, are always more fun than the day parties I've planned -- next time! You did an AMAZING job!!
@@vanessagray4933yes!!!!!!! I just commented something so similar.
@@Caroline_WinklerRelate!
@@vanessagray4933 this is insightful. Sometimes if a guest isn't having a good time it has nothing to do with the party and more to do with something going on in their personal life
This is actually a quote from Captain Picard from Star Trek (yep, bear with me lol): " It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life." The vibe of a day can be influenced and encouraged but never controlled because we all bring our own energy levels and what's going on lately in our own lives to it. The picnic looked cute as heck, and I'm 100% that your friends truly felt honored that you took the time to host something like this for them. Adults don't often get to feel pampered of and cooked for so we know it's a special thing. 💛
As a massively anxious person and seasoned control freak who hosts 4-5 of these events per year in my garden for around 10-15 friends at a time, I've learned the following:
1) Develop expectations only for what you can control: aesthetics and food. The moment the first person arrives you've lost all control and that is OK.
2) Allow for people to change your vision of the event on the spot. I've had a meticulously prepared 5 meter long table completely ignored by guests who simply started gathering around a little chill out area on a corner and bringing their plates to eat there. It was fine.
3) There's so much you can do to try to steer the energy. There's a point where you just have to stop being this attentive powerhouse and just grab a cocktail, sit down near one of your best friends and have a laugh. People are not stupid, and if they feel your have huge expectations for the event and their behaviour they will stiffen up. In my experience, the moment you start giving less fucks is the moment everyone relaxes.
That being said, I can't really imagine having to record a fricking video for a 200K audience whilst doing all this. Kudos to you.
This is great advice! Especially that last one is one I’ve struggled with (fussing so much about whether everyone is having a good time that no one is having a good time). Thanks for sharing
When you said (around 15:47) that you know viewers like to see “inspirational” videos, I have to respectfully disagree. What I love most about your videos is your honesty and vulnerability. NTM your humor. It makes me feel less alone with regards to the stress I put on myself. You spent so much time, effort, and money doing this for your loved ones and that’s what matters!! Remember that if any of them judged you because it wasn’t absolutely “instagram perfect” (which I think it was) then they don’t deserve to be in your circle. It was amazingly beautiful!!
My favourite part was when you said you were disappointed that it wasnt aspirational/inspirational.....then went on to deliver such an inspirational message ❤️ Love your videos Caroline, they're a breath of fresh air in this "only show the highlights" world! ❤
Exactly this 🫶 I felt totally inspired by that chat too ❤️
The thing to remember about hosting is that no one knows what is in your plan or in your head, so if have to improvise or scrap something, no one except you will even know it is “missing.” You did a wonderful thing for your friends. As always, thank you for sharing and being genuine and being you.
I have nevee thought of that and it takes off so much pressure! Thank you.
That makes so much sense! No one else will focus on what you know is either missing or perhaps didn’t turn out as planned. They appreciate what is!
So many RUclipsrs would have faked this video. They would have lied and said the day was awesome and everyone had an amazing time. Thank you so much for being real. It wasn't a failure but it also wasn't what you'd hoped and as someone who also has hosting anxiety, that feeling is the most relatable thing, I have it after every single event I host 😂.
But thank you so so much for keeping it real and honest.
Couldnt agree more! The end of the video was really touching.
I'm in the middle of watching this. I clicked on it thinking "oh picnics. this will be a nice cozy vlog." and then BAM, first minute of voiceover "hosting is hard when you're insecure." LOL. I shouldn't have expected anything less than relatable chaos.
I am your parent’s age and have entertained for decades. It is a ton of work and threefold to shlep it all to another location. And erecting a yurt - OMG! Your comment about the importance of the hostess being relaxed is so true. I want to enjoy myself so I do absolutely everything possible before the guests arrive. Like you, I love creating the tablescape and do it at least a day ahead.
I leave an hour or so to have a beer and listen to music before guests land, being relaxed is key to people feeling welcome.
Never try to hard, plan a menu that you are extremely confident with. Everybody loves a burger!
i love your idea of leaving an hour or so before to relax. getting that time to sit and soak it up before the socializing starts sounds so sweet and important
This is such good advice. I am your age and still manage to wreck my own events with the sheer effort i am putting into them - the strain is felt by everyone. It would actually be more fun if everyone turned up unannounced and we pulled together a meal from what is in the cupboards or local shops as there would be no shame in a lack of preparation and no expectations ... and I know they are my expectations, not those of the guests. I am going to try top do as you do. Might take a bottle of wine rather than just one beer though 🙄
I love this tip of prioritizing time to chill before an event. I have certainly worked until guests arrive and been left feeling that there is much more to do! In reality, I need to create a longer prep time. I know that the feeling that everything is ready and taking time to prepare myself is important to me. That is my favorite time, which puts me in the mood before I attend other's gatherings. Why not apply this to my own events? A great idea. Thank you!
i love this. framing it as a private pre-show, to let it sink in that we actually made this happen 🤗
@@sujammaz Exactly! I delight in my festive table and may even add a final tweak or two.
if people put so much effort into loving others like you do, this world would be such a beautiful place
What you & Justin pulled-off in LESS than 3 HOURS was EPIC! That was a lot of work and it looked wonderful!
I say this from experience…I’ve been an event planner for over 40-years and have hosted THOUSANDS of events. You did a GREAT job!
The next time you do this, it will be MUCH easier…you already know how to assemble the awesome yurt…you KNOW to build more time into it to give yourself a breather AND just look what you discovered in Justin! He is THERE for you, girl! Do it again, I PROMISE it will be more fun…I dare you!
You’re awesome! 😊
and please invite me! That was the coolest boho picnic EVER and I wish I could’ve been there!
It would
@deborahbradley7530 I'm curious to ask an event planner, in your experience what do successful events have in common, and likewise is there some commonality to parties that fail? I know sometimes its like trying to catch lightening in a bottle
@@Mimulus2717 Good question. I’d venture to guess nowadays that successful events include alcohol, weed and great music 😝 but I think it mostly depends on the people and their moods? Maybe it was the moon. I’m 62 and when I attend an event, I am determined to have a great time and let nothing get in the way of that.
@@Mimulus2717 Sure! In a nutshell, It’s all in the energy of the room. All successful events have an ebb and flow. Most good parties start high, because everyone is excited to get together…which leads to the quieter moments…during dining and conversation, (this “low energy” time is when the introverts get comfortable with their surroundings and enjoy themselves)…and then back to the livelier moments later (when everyone is comfortable with each other and have “happy bellies”). But you’ve gotta have both high & low. It’s important to recognize when the energy is not “low” but slowing, (especially if the event is not over), SLOWING can be the death of the party…but you can quickly reverse the de-escalation and ramp it up with music. (And good food and drink never hurts.) You know its been a great party when your face hurts and no ones wants to leave! I hope this helps.😊
Something my best friend said when I told her that I was a bad friend when I lived with her while I was divorcing came up for me while I was watching this. I apologized for all the crying and being pathetic while we ate a pot of her favorite meal of mine: chicken chili with pinto beans. She said to me, “Hmm, all I remember was my best friend lived with me and sometimes she made chili.”
Your friends may have been disappointed in the moment, but when they look back on this, all they will remember is how that one time their dear friend Caroline threw them a beautiful picnic.
You are the sweetest person alive. You may not think so right now, but all I can think of is how the sweetest person alive keeps making us videos and letting us all be a part of her adventure.
This is a sweet reminder and very true, but I also still don't understand how anyone could be disappointed in great food and a lovely gorgeous picnic??
@@serevaetse same! I was so surprised to hear her say that. I don’t think any of my friends would dare allow themselves to be disappointed!
Although there was that time I threw that party and made a weird stew…
@@ashleymcgee3536 haha omg 🤣 I bet it was delicious stew, even if it was weird!
Don’t give up! Hosting period is hard for us introverts and hosting in a park is REALLY hard! It’ll get easier. You have to do reps. It’s not silly- you’re practicing connection and it’s important. You did it with people who love you. I get into interpersonal nonsense with my spouse too often when we host bc of my stress and you know what? We’re fine and happy and we’ve learned to laugh about it and roll with it, though I’m still always stressed! Consider having it at your place next time. It’s easier bc everything’s there already. You did good.
im gonna keep working on it! definitely less intimidating than it used to be
Love the idea of entertaining "reps" to build up the party muscles! 😊
@@aksez2u Maybe that's why weddings have an engagement party, a bridal shower, etc first. It's practice for the big event haha
Omg, this could be your annual bell tent picnic 😊 Talk about getting the reps in!
Ask everyone to bring a dish, or a game, give it a place in the social calendar. And make use of that gorgeous tent! 😍
@@Thelmageddon Yes! Make it a tradition!
Caroline you are such an amazing friend. I just moved to a new city and know pretty much no one so I've really been seeing just how much those interpersonal connections mean to our daily lives. If I one of the people I meet out here puts even half the effort you just did into ANYTHING I'm invited to, I will remember to tell them how delighted and grateful I am.
It's inspiring how much you care and reflect but I really hope they give you your flowers for this one. We all need a Caroline in our lives
I freaking love this woman !!! She is so real, brilliant, hilarious, talented, and all around amazing. Thank you for always being you and sharing with us your creativity and realness ❤
@@Dr.MarinaBudge 💯 agree
I agree.
best audience and support team on the internet
Yes!
My favorite quote of all time, “Nothing grows in a comfort zone.” You are freaking amazing, just keep swimming!
I second the people saying to keep the yurt and do it again!! Put all the stuff you bought in a "picnic tote" and have it ready to whip out spontaneously! This has happened to me so many times where I didnt do my hair and makeup or change my clothes because I was trying to rush last minute and you just feel off the rest of the time because you know you dont look ready. but I heard a tip for hosting just prioritizing the steps of getting ready get your self ready first and save making food for last because its natural for guests to arrive and help/watch you finish up food but awkward to have them wait while you get ready or clean your bathroom haha.
i love this. great advice
This. I learnt this the hard way with my baby shower (which we hosted) and my children’s early birthdays. I need to prioritise getting myself showered etc to then do last minute touches while early/on time guests arrive to start the party in a happy place
I always set an alarm for myself for the do or die - time to get ready and everything else can wait. Usually guests don’t mind helping set up a few things too so that can be lower on the priority list.
I have learned that hosting is not my gift so I just enjoy quiet picnics with my husband!! No more pressure just doing what I enjoy with the person I enjoy most!! And I have never seen a picnic set up this epic!!!!! You are insanely creative!!
As a former professional cook, a bread knife is the best for cutting a tomato. And it's a knife, so it'll be good to cut anything else. Also, I relate to you not doing things because of disappointment being a companion. By choosing to do this, even if it didn't go exactly as you hoped or what have you, is a step away from disappointment being familiar. Like someone else said in the comments, keep doing reps. You mean a lot to those people who showed up, and a great party doesn't change that (and if it does, well screw 'em.) YOU ARE DOING GREAT (sulk, cry, feel down, but encourage yourself.)
first and foremost thank you for your professional knife blessing. the sweat i sweat over this faux pas!
@@Caroline_Winkler came here to say this about the bread knife and I'm glad someone already did!
I love bread knives for making salads, just stumbled upon it in the last few weeks
I can relate to this so much. The first parties and events i’ve hosted were so fancy and planned to a T, i did a handful of backyard garden parties with with rugs and furniture and fairy lights and I was totally perfectionistic and neurotic and stressed about it (but pretending not to be and trying to convince myself I wasn’t too). After hosting several parties and picnics I learned to simplify my parties and went to the complete opposites end of the spectrum, throwing last minute parties, doing only a quick house cleaning the day of, and offering the bare minimum; bbq brats, salad, and chips (and told people they could bring a dish if they wanted). This reallllly helped me find a middle ground. Now I can host stress free with any level detail and aesthetics that I feel like adding. It took me doing it over and over again to realize I have great friends and family that aren’t there to judge my hosting skills, but are there because they love me and want to enjoy their time in the presence with friends
Your videos are high art in every way. I relate in many elements to you here - the stress buildup of an event, trying to be “perfect”, disappointment and failures, and yet gratitude and grace you give yourself as you go through it all. It’s a lot, no wonder you cried! I would’ve too. Thanks for sharing your experiences with us 🧡
this was very sweet. thank you
I feel you, the worst thing for me when I am hosting is when the guests dont match the vibe/ they dont feel the same level of excitment about the event as you and as you would like them to. I cant help but feel down when that happens. But recently I realised that sometimes when people go through stuff in their lives they cant always match your energy and thats okay - important thing is they showed up and tried to enjoy what you prepared for them. They still love you even if they are not in a place to be as excited about it as you.
Thank you for this video, it was really beautiful and the food looked great. The ending was really honest and thank you for that, too. I feel like many people would rather pretend everything was perfect. The truth is better, because you can be free of the pressure of perfection.
You were just a few comfy pillows away from nailing it. Your artistic touches like the vibrant colors, the beautiful place settings and picnic menu showcased your creativity. Hosting is hard and as your first attempt you did awsome, so hug Justin and know how much we enjoy your genuineness. 💟
ugh yes! i think i needed cushions. i also debated getting those little lawn chairs that fold up, because i have pretty bad back pain and i knew the ground would be tough. but then i was like "caroline you're overdoing it! dont be so DESPERATE!!!" haha. i think it would have been a game changer though. im definitely gonna try again, and hopefully get better!
Sounds to me like a great chance to value and honour your own needs, and not put them behind everyone else's. You were judging yourself for a health need and it made you feel like you were making a fuss I think, but the truth is that I think your body, mind and soul needed that wee chair and the cushions, but you were so focused on everyone else and getting it perfect that you neglected your body's needs. As someone who has been in a toxic relationship before, I recognise this sign of too much self sufficiency and feeling awkward when others genuinely try to help without stress or wanting anything in return. In a relationship with someone who is not like this, one tends to be the giver, the fixer, the one who's solely responsible for everything going right, from a picnic to the entire goddamn relationship, haha. To shed this can be a difficult process but it's part of healing. Emotionally available, healthy people want to help. Sometimes we feel we must do things perfectly because otherwise people in our life won't be happy or even give us a hard time. Emotionally healthy people desire connection with us. If we want to do everything ourselves, that can be fun, but sharing the responsibilities can be such a charming and fun way to create more human and emotional connection with each other. Maybe we also grew up with the image of the perfect host of a woman that creates these outstanding events - but perhaps this is part of a previous generation where there was this kind of pressure on women. These days, I think it's beautiful that an event can be the perfect experience and memory because of how nonchalantly it's all done, with the host being part of something he or she creates for her own enjoyment at well. You're all doing it together in some way, and you can lean back and just relax and ease into the moment as you watch people having a good time. Imperfection is vital for that, I think. Does that make sense...?
I feel a shit ton of empathy and self compassion towards that part of ourselves that had to carry the burden of everything that really should have been shared by two people is the way to healing. Love yourself and appreciate yourself for this beautiful and romantic idea! I have never seen such a gorgeous picnic set up in my entire life and I mean it! You did incredibly well, and next time you will have so much more fun with it, because you having fun with it matters, too! Lots of love and sorry for getting all deep and stuff, I was just free styling, haha 😆💖💖💖
I can't edit my comment so I just wanted to say with toxic relationship I do NOT mean Justin, but potentially something from before you once told us about. Maybe that's not the source of why you're being so hard on yourself, though, and I don't want to presume things that aren't the case. It's really just a thought because it was like this for me and I was just happily people pleasing away and putting myself under enormous stress in the wake of it. Whatever the reason, we deserve so much better!! Again, I wouldn't have been able to sleep with nerves and I think you did so incredibly well! Lots of love 💕💕
@@Caroline_Winklerthe whole video, but especially this comment, I FELT. This is exactly how my internal dialog runs. Thanks for putting it out there. It makes me feel less alone.
In my opinion, every get together needs some low volume background music. It fills in the the spaces of silent moments and sometimes a particular song can start a conversation or revive a memory. You did a beautiful job and good for you for not cancelling and sticking with your original plan.
Hosting is SO much work. People don’t realize it is a week-long affair. It’s one of those shocks in adulting: the realization that the family holidays you’ve gone to your whole life and took for granted were each an incredible masterpiece of preparation, vision, skill, and perfect timing. Makes me love my mom, aunt, grandma, stepmom even more :)
Next time, do as much as you can ahead of time. Like anything at all non-perishable can be prepped ahead and put in the right place.
This is so true! I host for Thanksgiving and start cooking 2 weeks ahead. (Frozen stuff - gravy, pie crusts) Cooking everything same day is impossible.
Yes absolutely preparing ahead of time will take the day off a little less stressful. I would at least go shopping the day or two before and do prep work, chopping, portion things out. Also having your guests bring an item that they like or beverages will take some of your load off. They will also feel involved. Overall Caroline you did amazing!
I honestly think it wasn't because your friends weren't having fun, but that they were probably on guard because they knew the cameras were rolling. That's how I would have been at least. You did a BEAUTIFUL job. I told my husband 'watch this girl', remember her because she's going places.
Yeah, that was my thought too. I have no social media presence and I don't want one. I think sometimes there's a disconnect between people who have gotten comfortable putting themselves online and those that would rather not. It's still a good video idea, but I'd probably have just filmed the set up/ food prep and then a recap of how the event went afterwards. Letting the attendees know that they won't be filmed (unless they want to) might make them feel more at ease. I know it would for me anyway 😅
I would feel uncomfortable I I was being recorded for a RUclips video while at a picnic and if had to sit directly on the ground like that. Maybe no blankets and instead some floor pillows? that….kudos to you for speaking the truth about facing fears, experiencing disappointment and regret and still persevering. You are an incredible young woman.
hosting in itself is a lot to handle, you schlepping everything into a park is even harder. Thanks for your honesty, I love that about you: no masking, no perfect picture, just you being authenticly you. Refreshing and healing, you're amazing for sharing this with us 💚
For me, the success of this picnic came at the beginning of the whole process….when you decided to go for it, going all in with your inimitable style and full heart in the creative endeavor!! YAY!!!
Maybe it wasn’t what you wanted, but the message is what this viewer needed to hear. I’m not saying I’m glad you feel bad, I’m saying I’m glad that I’m not the only one who has felt this way and continues to feel this way. You’re helping me overcome my own hosting insecurities. And that to me is inspiring. I hope you get to host more picnics in the future because it looked lovely. I would absolutely come to a picnic you host!
this was lovely to read
Same
Often it is the energy we bring that sets the mood, far more than the energy put in to setting everything up. We want perfection and often it is our hyper-focus on any imperfection that can spoil the atmosphere for everyone. I find myself explaining to everyone attending what I wanted and where I failed. Like explaining what is wrong with a haircut when someone compliments your hair. I refer to it as the "yeahbut" disease.
Fellow adhder here. I can relate to so much of this. Building things up in my mind. Being so excited by the creative process and imagining it all and then when it comes to the execution becoming very overwhelmed. I have learned that if I am going to put this much effort into something I only invite those who will be able to share in the excitement/joy/experience and who appreciate it in the same way otherwise I end up feeling very alone in it and disappointed.
I found it very relatable as well. It doesn't help that those of us with adhd often experience real & perceived rejection with greater intensity than other folks. And after a couple decades+ of experience, I know it can really be a hard headspace to get out of ♥
Caroline, you have performed an enormous public service in bringing us this video. My daughters are older than you, but I’ve never seen anyone share the true nuts an bolts of hosting something, and I so appreciate it. I loved a whole lot in your video. Your project was more ambitious than anything I could attempt, but I learned a great deal. I can empathise! My dream would be to be the hostess with the mostest, but it scares me. You are wonderful, Justin is a treasure and you deserve nothing less.
it isn't silly. the genralised narrative does not matter when things are so so important to certain parts of us. those parts of us are not living in the general scheme of things and that is why it hurts so much and for that part- this grief is actaually really big. so you are not silly for feeling what you are feeling. there is a part of you that this meant a lot to and it is okay to validate and grieve that without rationalising it. i hope this part of you that loves to create colourful spaces and experiences for people can come out to play again when it feels healed and ready because it is such a beautiful and thoughful part. take care
How beautiful and thoughtful you write. So, so true ❤
i appreciate this a lot :) i got very worried how it would go over on the internet to say that i felt down over something so insignificant. but it was just one of those days where you try a lot..and things just dont go the way you envisioned. the disappointment and embarrassment was real - that everyday-kind-of-real. i'm glad i got to share some part of that here
This comment is everything! Yes! Got me teary-eyed. So well said. 👍🏼
@@marcelalopezlira7105 ♥
@@Caroline_Winkler ♥
6:17 THANK YOU! Thank you for talking about your experience with how you had a hard time accepting that someone would just genuinely want to help you and the way you navigated that. I can relate to this SO deeply and it really, really helps to hear someone else articulate the process. ❤
I agree!
I never comment on RUclips videos, but I feel the need to say that you're so brave for putting yourself out there and sharing your experience with us. So many of us relate so hard and appreciate the vulnerability. Also, there are hundreds of people on your channel who would be so lucky to be your friend and get an invite to your picnics! Put a little less pressure on yourself and put yourself out there again :)
This is how I felt after my wedding. I’ve cried over it many times since and I thought I was the only one.
Me. Too. Took me a while to let go of those hard feelings (and they’re still there a little bit). You’re not alone
thank you for saying this
Thanks for the invite. We are ALL going!
This is the way I felt at my wedding. I never had things the way I wanted growing up, so at the wedding things didn't really look and feel the way I wanted and it felt like people weren't having a good time, especially because it was really small, just family and our closest friends. At the time I was pretty depressed and the wedding prep was the only thing that kept me going. Only couple of months later I got laid off from work and needed to seek professional help. From the start I wanted just a simple ceremony with just me, my husband and couple of witnesses. I still feel that would've been the right thing to do.
The way you talk about yourself sometimes (“I couldn’t believe someone was actually happy to help me”, “what if I invite people and no one shows up”) makes me so sad, and at the same time it makes me realize I talk to myself the same way. You’re such an inspiration to me and watching you learn to love yourself despite the way you speak to yourself sometimes is very reassuring. Like, I can always work toward feeling better even when I don’t feel like enough.
My friend constantly reminds me that comparison is the thief of joy but I think expectations steal joy as well. You did a really beautiful thing both for your friends and yourself. ❤
15:17 idk if you mentioned it, sorry if you did, but were you playing music? Sometimes that’s all that’s missing to make a vibe come together. ❤ I think a big part of the reason I don’t celebrate my birthdays or host parties is kind of due to the emotions you’re going through now. I think I like .. imagine the most beautiful movie-like montage of scenes of perfect moments.. sporadic dancing, glasses clinking, hilarious anecdotes, and then when the vibe is not immaculate, I am like “…oh yeah this is why I don’t do this.” BUT what’s so funny now that I’m thinking about it… it’s always my own events. I am rarely so critical of events hosted by others. Even when there’s dull moments, I don’t walk away being critical, I think of all the good parts. So I’m thinking that I need to - and maybe you do too - need to try viewing it as if your friend threw the pic nic. I bet you’d be like “omg she hosted the cutest picnic I can’t believe she picked out all of that and made this food and planned all of this she is so cute and talented.” Im rambling now so I’ll stop but hopefully you see this and get what I’m sayin cuz you a gem boo
yup, came here to say that. also sitting comfortably...
It's scary the power embarrassment has over us. I can think of an incident 10 yrs ago and feel the shame rush back. By sharing this you've taken that power back - owning your embarrassment and using it to grow. Inspiring!
I nearly had a nervous breakdown doing everything for my daughter’s wedding. It caused me so much stress that I can’t listen to any of the songs from the playlist without feeling PTSD. I analyzed everything afterwards waaaaaay toooooo muuuuuch! Oh, and I lost half my hair and too much weight! It was a party! How did it get to be a mental health crisis???
Anyway, thank you for being so real about your feelings! You may have just helped thousands of people learn something very important. Each of us got something different out of your video: be brave; embrace your fantasies; shop in thrift stores for the most charming and unique party supplies; find a partner who is supportive (bonus if they are a good cook); give yourself double the time you think you’ll need to set up; prioritize physical comfort of guests; have multiple fun activities; fun music makes everything better; do the most important things first; apologize in advance to your partner that you will probably be snippy….
This picnic may not have gone as planned, but the video about the picnic turned into a major video success if you ask me! I related to this so much. Thanks for being so real and reminding us that not everything has to be perfect, and also it's okay to accept big help and big love without feeling like a burden.
I'm 58 years old and have struggled with all of this- thank you for processing with us and being real. I'm still learning and this helps~
we're all still learning. perfection isn't the goal, but learning is
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability with us! As a former event planner, I completely resonate with the feeling of an event not having the spark you aimed to experience. Would highly recommend asking your friends to contribute as aforementioned. But FURREAL simply putting your purest feelings out there for us to witness was super beautiful for you to do. You didn’t have to give us a closing like that, let alone recognize that you weren’t satisfied with your results. Your journey will inspire others. Keep vibing!
I have learned that anticipation kills events, activities, vacations, or whatever else for me. If I book something months in advance I will fixate on it and stress myself out about it to the point that once it is finally happening I struggle to enjoy it. For me, it’s hard to be in the moment when I have been dreaming of the very moment and how it should play out.
This was a wonderful video, and you have successes in inspiring me. I think excessive picnics, with friends or for yourself, if such a beautiful expression. I want nothing more than to drag blankets and fancy dish ware and eat new recipes in a local park or even my front yard right now. The unspoken message I got from this is that there are no rules saying I can’t throw myself a lovely party even if there is no specific occasion. You did wonderful Caroline!🎉
completely agree. for this reason, those spontaneous hangs are always so magical and lighter
@@Caroline_Winklerhow cute would it be if your viewers all hosted you a big picnic so you can just enjoy the vibes and no worries 🥰 #picnicprincess
yeah, do this thing spontaneously. Have a picnic set-up ready. Call friends on a nice day, everyone grabs something to eat/drink and share and you just meet up...
The picnic looks absolutely lovely. I can't imagine reacting with anything less than joy and amazement if a friend organized something like this and I was invited. Your vivacity and love of life is beautiful, and it inspires me to go out and live my life and live with love and intention. Keep doing you
Don’t be so hard on yourself! You are allowed to be disappointed, you put so much love, time, energy and money into it, you were brave to put yourself out there and host. I can’t imagine it being a failed event though, just different than you imagined. You learnt so much and found out so many things about yourself, hosting and your relationship while preparing this, and that new knowledge is incredibly valuable ❤️ thank you for showing every part of it, being open and honest with your disappointment, it happens to all of us and is so reassuring ❤️
This! Exactly what I want to say. Hosting is very hard and stressful. Give yourself some grace. Your guests loved it, and appreciated the effort you made despite what you may think.
Girl, don’t give yourself such a hard time! It’s great you out so much effort into spending a beautiful time with your friends. If I can make a suggestion, music!!!! I hosted my friends for the first time last week and I can 100% say the fact that I had a nice jazz playlist playing the whole time so if there ever was moments of quietness or stillness, the jazz would take over and make everyone feel great and relaxed. Just something to consider but please know your friends would have appreciated your efforts more than you could ever imagine. Love you and love your videos, you are always inspirational ❤️
Lots of wisdom in your reflections, and in the many comments, but maybe the most important lesson is at the very end: "also, look at these ducks". You gave your friends a lovely gift, as did Justin, and you both deserve the peace of a party concluded! ☺
Caroline firstly you've got a great boyfriend who supports you! That' s huge. The amount of effort you took is orgainse this lovely colourful picnic was intense. Give yourself some credit, girl. Think positive and go forward. Most importantly you're funny, intelligent and truthful and that counts a lot. Forget about being a perfectionist.
Girl, the fact that you are being real about the day IS inspirational!! You’re a breath of fresh air ❤
As someone who works in events, when I saw you standing in an empty tent with “1 hour until guests arrive” my heart skipped. These things always take longer than you expect, and having the “calm before the storm” moment to go and reset, get showered and get ready is really crucial in making the vibes feel right for the event. “Pre-event” Caroline and “Event Host” Caroline are two very people, and if your guests turn up and are greeted with the wrong version of you they can tell. It feels like they are intruding, like they’ve arrived too early and aren’t welcome yet. And likewise you as the host slightly resent their arrival too and struggle to relax and switch off “Pre-event Caroline”.
Next time, allow loads more time, 4 hours minimum. Do everything that can be done in advance if you can (putting lanterns on fairy lights can be done in front of the TV days before etc), and enlist some more help. Delegating the food to Justin was a brilliant idea, that removed a whole element from your plate, but having another pair of hands and another brain on the decor and set-up would have eased the mental stress for you too. Almost everyone in life is generally on your side, so they’ll be glad, if not flattered, if you ask them to help you when it matters.
A friend that goes to that much effort to put on such a quaint event- girl, you need to celebrate the imperfections and not let it bother you! What you did was so thoughtful, and that is what the world needs more of. ❤
Sooooo. I never comment on anything. Ever. In fact, this is my first comment. Ever. I can honestly say that I look forward to your videos and your commentary. Your realness is refreshing. You articulate everything I often feel. You could be my sister. You could be my friend. In a universe full of everyone trying to be the same, you are the most amazing, beautiful YOU. And you make me feel less alone. Thank you 💜
I felt this exact same after hosting my birthday. I did an elaborate tea party at home, decorated, made sandwiches, gave lots of chooses of tea, make themed games, and I felt my guests being a bit embarrassed to be here. I was sad. Especially when a month later, we hosted my husband's birthday with nothing but potato chips and a half cleaned flat and everyone was having a good time. It's not easy, but sometimes easy is better.
Anyway, congrats for doing something out of the ordinary ! 👏That's how you make memories, you'll look back on photos and think "You know what ? That was nice!"💕
The exact same thing happened to me…? What is it exactly, I wonder? Do people feel pressured in having a fun time that it becomes unfun? I wish I knew
Your birthday tea party sounds so fun!❤ I would love to go to something like that. I am super detail oriented and this sounds like a dream come true for my inner child. I’m sorry your guests couldn’t match your excitement. I’ve been through similar times with friends and it’s so lonely when everyone leaves and I’m sapped. Sometimes it’s not personal, others just aren’t in the same headspace as we wish them to be. Sending you a hug dear 🤗
That’s why I host “mock the movie” nights… if people go into it knowing it’s gonna suck, it’s kinda easier 😅
This is an AMAZING idea!
this sounds so fun what the heck
Or watching certain political events.
@@Caroline_Winklerthey’re not all winners, and I’m sure your guests feel differently about your picnic than you do and will remember it fondly, but I’m sorry you were disappointed with the outcome. Don’t let it deter you from doing one again! Thank you for inviting us along. It looked great!
@@Caroline_Winkler I heard this in your voice and it made me smile! Also, SAME! This sounds awesome what the heck?!
Caroline, this is why we all adore you and your videos…your honesty is beautiful! We all struggle now and then. And just because it’s not a life or death situation doesn’t mean we need to minimize its importance. You put your heart and soul into this. It shows. I’m 63 and have thrown very few parties (because I struggle with similar insecurities) but my most successful gatherings were when I delegated music, games, and food saving the ambiance for myself because it’s so fun to play with. Be proud of yourself for exploring the world of Martha Stewart…even she wasn’t perfect at first. ❤
Awww baby girl!! 1. I always appreciate how honest you always are. 2. I have been in your exact situation. I think what's great about this experience is that you have all of things to do this again and reevaluate what you need (energetically, help, time wise, etc) for the next time. I hope you make a part 2 in the future because this still looked AMAZING for doing something that genuinely scared you. So hopefully it's less scary to try again. Don't forget to be kind to little Caroline she did great even if it didn't work out the way you wanted. Sending a big hug
Hospitality is a mindset and a skillset and the skillset takes some practice! Every time you do a thing like this, you dial in what matters and makes it fun for everyone a little more. I have a little handwritten note like a recipe that my great grandmother wrote about a fun party she threw and it always stuck with me that one of the main attractions was a giant silver bowl of potato chips - she knew her audience!
So appreciated this level of honesty/realness.
I know you couldn’t describe the feeling in words but I immediately knew EXACTLY how you felt - it’s something I’ve struggled with a lot in my life. I’m very sensitive to ‘energy’ and I do the exact same thing in terms of putting my all into something in the hope that it’s going to be the most beautiful, the most vibey, the most delicious - essentially the most of the most - and then if it doesn’t work out the disappointment is crushing.
I’ve pulled back a lot from doing this sort of thing in the last few years because I found I couldn’t cope with the emotional repercussions. Life is more peaceful and emotionally even but less rich too. I’m not sure which is better. Either way, as much as I don’t feel good that you felt this way, it did help a lot to know that it’s not just me. And you’ve also reminded me that sometimes you have to feel the fear and do it anyway.
Love your channel so much - thank you for producing such amazing, funny, intelligent and very human videos. We love you for it!
Not silly. This is your job and you're a Creative. You wanted to execute the vision you have in your head and heart. But the best thing about it is 'art' is CRAFT. So, I see you doing the remix of this party; several episodes; many changed aspects and themes until you feel the flow that you felt in your little creative heart was missing. You're a true artist, baby girl. Those feelings are always gonna be there as you work your craft - they are part of the confirmation.
The best brunch I experienced was just asking everyone to bring their favorite dish and reading material and we all just sat around casually having a leisurely Sunday browsing magazines & newspapers and chatting. Definitely keep the Yurt but maybe setting it up at an AirBnB or beach rental to use over the weekend with friends in multiple ways such as yoga, romantic fondu dinners, etc.. Agree about the back support. Your instincts were good! Love those rugs - so cute.
I'm in awe of how brave and sincere you are. I know this feeling when you're afraid of something, but you decide to go towards fear uplifting yourself that it's going to be okay, and then what you're afraid of kinda happens. It feels extremely hard and I appreciate that you've shared how it actually went with us. The fact that you tried, survived it and was honest about it speaks volumes about how brave and strong you are. Damn girl, you're inspiring me even in failure
Hosting is my love language and I'll share the secret of a perfect party: it's all about loving people well. Some of the best parties of mine have had zero decorations, not enough seating, and not enough forks. The most important thing to prepare for a party is your heart. Choose one wow factor, invite guests to help, and give them a warm welcome. Works every time.
What are your ideas for “wow” factor? I’m learning to host more since owning a house and need to get better at it. It requires so much energy and preplanning.
@@anastasiya8314 It totally depends on the party. Sometimes it's a really creative cake for a birthday, or a really special meal, fancy tablescape, or a live band. Just pick one element to leave an impression and let go of expectations. Hungry for Home is a great channel with lots of good hosting tips!
As someone weeks away from the wedding I've spent a year planning, this was extremely relatable to watch and has reminded me that the most important thing is to just try and enjoy the day. Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest with us! Also, I think you'll like this book - The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker. She recommends focusing more on prepping the guests vs prepping the aesthetics - which is understandably what most of us automatically focus on more! I wouldn't see this event as a failure, it's just a learning opportunity - you've already learned so many things to make any future event you hold better!
As soon as you put up the tent, I saw the vision. And then you set the table, and just, *chef's kiss*. I know the point of the vid is about how it didn't go exactly the way you wanted it to but does anything literally ever? Such a fun idea in the first place, so kudos to you for taking all that on. Your friends are so lucky they got to be a part of it!
I am so in awe of you and your bravery to put yourself out there. This community of humans, many of them women, meeting up in your comment sections feels so warm to me - everytime! I enjoy your videos so much, Caroline! I don't know if you realize it, but you create so much space for emotional truthfulness in an online world that so often only makes space for the "pretty" feelings (whatever that means). Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. It may sound like an insignificant thing and maybe it truly is a little bit silly to talk about RUclips videos in this manner - but I really think that what we see and consume everyday shapes the way we live collectively. Thank you for creating this corner where we can be vulnerable and shine a light on all these feelings!
Thank you for showing the vulnerable side of hosting an amazing event. It’s so beautiful and I’m sure your guests realize all the hard work pouring into it.
You and Justin are the cutest! It's so cool to see your journey and how you went from street man to the man lol
he is a really great partner
The set up was a pinterest dream!
The psychllogical set up was: We get married in 3 hours, but we have yet to build the church. From scratch.
It looked wonderful! I'm sorry your expectations weren't met but you did a great job wrapping up the thoughts!
Make it an annual thing. My first christmas hosting was absolute chaos. The 5th was way better =D
Hosting people is is an art form! There are so many things to think about beyond the tangibles (food, tablescape, lighting, gifts). I only learned that when I read the Art of Gathering. If hosting is something you’re interested in doing better, I strongly recommend reading it! Priya Parker is a master and AMAZING at helping people move away from the Martha-Stewart-style hosting (where you prepare the things) to preparing yourself and the guests attending.
All in all, I loved watching this video *because* of your transparency. The Internet has so many people performing life and not enough people documenting what living life is actually like. This felt like a documentary that I would have loved to see seven years ago when I was first starting my hosting journey and am glad it’s around now for everyone else! Great video and great job planning the event.
P. S. The menu, and the table scape were stunning!!
Please don't be so hard on yourself. No one attains perfection. They do attain beautiful picnics and nice friends who love what you did and appreciate you to pieces. Not a bad thing to have accomplished!! ♥
Oh Caroline! It was beautiful and please don’t be hard on yourself or give up hosting! I’m 54 and have hosted numerous parties, holiday meals and most recently my daughter’s wedding including the rehearsal dinner. It is exhausting and we get our hopes and expectations so high and sometimes forget to enjoy it. You are 10 times more talented than I am and just keep hosting, I promise you’ll begin to have a better after feeling. I think everyone probably already said this, but ask for help! It’s way more fun setting up with friends… my friends were my heros during the wedding events.
Girl..the fact that you would go that above and beyond for friends is why I’d love you more, if you were one of mine. You BF is such a gem, too! Any man that will offer to cook for my party is definitely a keeper🥰
I came for the interior decorating stuff but stayed for this kind of content! I love these life type of videos from you. They always feel relatively realistic and emotionally realistic. These videos have been a piece of helping me put my mind back together a little bit after navigating some intense life changes that all happened during Covid. I’m in a little bit of an optimistic place now, thank you ☺️
Caroline! This is a party that you will appreciate later on. The yurt! The blankets! The table setting! The flowers! The river! How GORGEOUS! You will forget your sadness and will only remember the awesomeness and be proud of yourself for creating this
I would be a picnic basket case if I had to do all that 😂 But seriously, you did great. I planned an after-party for close friends after our wedding reception (not a huge traditional wedding, but still a LOT of planning, doing our own flowers, making my own outfit, DIYing cake stands for each table out of dollar-store plates and glasses for the supermarket cakes, etc.) Anyhoo, I stocked up on food and drinks for the house afterparty and literally the only people to come were our two friends we were driving to their hotel and were forced to be there 😂 Not what I envisioned, but neither is most of my life- or most of anyone’s, maybe ❤
I had this EXACT same experience for my 22nd birthday. My 21st had been a huge bash and kind of the perfect storm of everyone being available, the mood was great, and I had an amazing night. The next year I figured everything would fall into place again - oh how wrong I was. Almost no one showed up (lots of prior commitments, exams, out of town etc etc) and it was a really awkward party, especially because my crush showed up and I felt like a major loser. The great thing about it though is that wasn’t actually a reflection of who I was or my friendships. I really appreciate your reflection at the end. It looked so cute and I hope it doesn’t deter you from trying something in the future!!
I don't normally comment on videos, but I have to say that it's so refreshing to watch good content and listen to someone so relatable. I love that you're authentic and don't sugar-coat things or try to make everything seem 'perfect'. Maybe this video didn't end up being inspirational in the typical planned sense, but it was indeed inspirational in other ways. Thank you! It's extremely difficult to keep in mind that failing is normal, and it's okay to be down when things don't turn out right/as expected (we're human and need to feel our feels). Just because we fail does not mean that we are *failures*. And sometimes "Perfection" is incredibly unrealistic while "Good Enough" is actually more than enough. This is a mindset that I'm working on embedding into my own brain. ((also, thank you for the ducks lol))
Urggggg girl. Your bravery and authenticity is more aspirational than any fancy party could ever be. And making thousands of us feel less alone is a massive talent. That feeling you had is so normal, and you just gotta remind yourself that sometimes you just aren't seeing things clearly, especially when you have so much emotion invested in it. Your friends weren't lying. It was gorgeous. But also, sometimes gems come from yucky situations, and you gave the internet a gem here.
The inspiration for me is that you did it! So many ideas and plans that never get created out of fear. Not small, not silly at all. Sending hugs. ❤
I am pretty sure your guests/friends had a perfect time. I think you sensed they were responding/reflecting on your energy, feeling nervous, and worrying about the ideal outcome. I do the same. I make my plan way too grand and worry about all the details, too, and sometimes, I see people reacting to my stiff energy. My stiff energy is unnecessary, but sometimes I have it. It is not that it doesn’t matter; it is that what they enjoy the most is you. Hosting a gathering is precious no matter what, and I am sure people appreciate your presence and your effort. It surely didn’t fail. ❤
It shocks me how raw, real and relatable you are every. single. dang. time. I would’ve LOVED to be at the picnic are you kidding meeeeeee PLS you are a champion my friend and those friends of yours… INCREDIBLY lucky to have you!
You say your friends weren’t having that good of a time, but Caroline how do you know they didn’t feel so completely calm, relaxed,content and at peace. Just because people aren’t laughing and on a high doesn’t mean it wasn’t good for them. The tent was beautiful, the food seemed delicious, your friends looked really nice, they looked relaxed and that does them so much good in this stressful demanding world we live in today. ❤❤❤
My mom was the most wonderful hostess. I was totally in awe of her. She could take a little time, and a few ingredients and create a wonderful experience. The feelings you described about your party is pretty much how I felt when I hosted. But, roll forward several years I realize my mom's greatest hosting gift was in making her guests feel comfortable. Keep throwing parties, it's experience and confidence that allow you to just relax and make your guests comfortable to enjoy the experience. The party you did was beautiful, the rest comes through practice and experience. Success comes in stages. Just my opinion. Lovely video, honest, open and relatable.
Ok. I'm at 2:15 and I had to stop and comment because the CUTENESS OVERLOAD IS LITERALLY TOO MUCH.
I've been watching your videos for a couple of years now and seeing you live and struggle and live and thrive makes me happy. And less alone? Yes. It does. Anyway, just happy for you.