REVIEWING CHRONIC ILLNESS MEMES
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- Опубликовано: 13 сен 2024
- Chronically ill girl reacting to chronic illness memes!
Reviewing Chronic Illness Memes PART 2: • Chronic Illness Meme R...
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WHAT’S EHLERS-DANLOS SYNDROME?
The Ehlers-Danlos Syndromes (EDS) are a group of more than 13 genetic connective tissue disorders that affect the joints and ligaments, blood vessels, gastrointestinal tract, and autonomic nervous system, among others. The most common type of EDS is hypermobile EDS (hEDS), which used to be known at type III. Some of the most common symptoms and co-morbidities of hEDS include chronic joint pain, joint instability and dislocations, dysautonomia, and GI tract dysmotility.
MORE INFO ABOUT EDS:
🧬 www.ehlers-dan...
🧬 bit.ly/2N95xTE
MORE INFO ABOUT POTS:
💓 www.potsuk.org...
❤️ cle.clinic/2p1...
MORE INFO ABOUT GASTROPARESIS:
💚 mayocl.in/2BRQTuR
MORE INFO ABOUT MUSCLE TENSION DYSPHONIA:
🤍 bit.ly/2MLUYXI
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#memereacts #healthmeme #doctormemes
“When someone understands” my face when I found your Channel 😂
OMG me too...
Oh my goodness yes
I think my funniest brain fog moment was when I was trying to explain brain fog and could not think of the words brain fog until like 20 minutes later
my daughter thinks im losing my mind due to the fog and one of my meds messes with my memory
True story 😂 fr
Someone who is in their 70s told my mom that I needed to eat a good breakfast because she learned in high school that it gets your digestive system going for the day. I was like um...yeah that will definitely help my gastroparesis
One can always hope.
me: has a good breakfast me: spends the rest of the day vomiting and then has to go to hospital because im now vomiting blood før some reason (yes this happened. no, i dont know why 😂)
"Have you tried going gluten-free?". YES I have, and it made me feel worse! Any other advice, genius?? With unsolicited advice, I've noticed there are two kinds of people: those who genuinely care that you're suffering and want to help, and those who have huge egos and want to get credit for being "the one who fixed you". It's always annoying. It takes ALL my self-control not to lash out at the second group. Anyway, thanks girl, I needed to laugh and this video made my day!! I'd love for this to be a regular thing on your channel!
I hate it when people try to tell me how to cure myself. I also hate it when people just don’t understand the amount of pain I deal with and the stuff I put up with everyday to make them happy....
Yeah same, it's so annoying
Person: what did you do this weekend
Me having brain fog: I did a thing then another thing then I took a 10 hour nap and I did another thing
Omg I talk like this all the time when brain fog is bad. ❤🤣
Me having brain fog.... I don't even know.... I don't remember 😅
I mostly forget what day I did the thing on
“Just add milk to hear the song of my people” lol same🎉🥣
BeeTheBunny. Me too. Always snapping, cracking, popping. One time I was doing a PT exercise and every time I stepped on the stool my knees would crack and my PT would say “what is that, is that your knee???”
I laughed out loud soon as I heard that.... it really is the song of my people!!😂😂😂😂
rises up
lands on knees
"was that you or the chair that cracked?"
i don't even know
I say snap, crackle and pop Kelloggs Rice Krispy treats! Because I’m doing just that when I walk
"yes I've tried everything, don't come after me, I know how to sleep" THIS is having a chronic illness. It is justifying to everyone that you have tried things and actually know your own body but STILL have symptoms
I am a newly diagnosed PoTS hEDS person. I love this channel so much. Gives me something to know i'm not alone.
thank you!!
Welcome, fellow zebra!
Same! Hello fellow Zebras!!!
Did you see a physical therapist? I’m seeing one and they said I’m hypermobile but didn’t give me any tips, a few exercises and they help a little with the bulging disks in my lumbar but I still hurt everywhere else
Addisonian spoonie here. Can relate. Fatigue, pre syncope, killer headaches...
Loved the video, laughed af
I’ve had so many things that the Doctors didn’t test or x-ray for because I was too young. 12 years after being on disability they finally xrayed my hips.
Doctor: You can’t walk and only have 10% mobility in your hips.
Me: No shit, that’s why I’m in a wheel chair.
Doctor: You need both of your hips replaced
Me: Awesome, sign me up!
Omg. That standing up too quickly one 😂 I can’t tell you how many times I’ve either walked into a wall or just collapsed after standing too quickly lol. I’m also part glow stick. I got all the popping but none of the glow.
With the ribs popping out I went to my chiropractor and he had no idea what I was talking about until he saw it..
And random people giving advice is literally the worst, I’ve had so many people tell me oh you just need to exercise more and then your joints won’t hurt. Sorry but I didn’t know exercise could change my genetics 🙄
Rebekah Suzanne Oh weird. I had no idea what had happened to me and a chiro found out based on an X-ray. Thankfully they only sublux mostly now. Nothing like the pain with it completely dislocating. I breath and I get cracks all up my sternum. I just readjust my position and things inside me pop that I have no idea what they are. Rice Krispie for sure
My doctor legit told me to exercise more because it was all in my head and the pain came from lack of exercise
Rae I have had 8 major surgeries because there is nothing wrong with me 🙄😤🙄
Rae LOL My parents tell me that all the time and all their Friends just call me Lazy, like 2 days Ago i went to My dentist because he wanted to talk to me about my cracking and hurting jaw and he literllay told me to do more Sport like w t f. And that‘s a reason my parents just use against me everytime I say I‘m in Pain because every docotors says that when I sublocate multiple joints on the daily :)
Yeah for a couple of years I keep telling my chiropractor that it feels like my ribs are poking into my organs. Dr adjusts me and I wake up the same next day. Oh wait no wonder my connective tissue can't hold my body together.
Loved this video. I feel like the sloth from zotopia right now 😆
I usually say "an apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough."
Think I screenshoted almost every meme.
Linda-Marie Hamrin I said that a work a couple weeks ago and one of my residents family member thought I was brilliant.
I deffo had a dr tell me it is impossible to dislocate my hips... I showed her and she was just like.... what?!?!
I used to get chastised by my high school nurse for always coming to her for my “old lady problems”; like frequent dislocation, acid reflux, and migraines lol
I had an MRI yesterday, a GP appointment today to fill out Disability insurance paperwork, and now my Mum wants me to go out shopping tomorrow (Wednesday) AND the next day (Thursday) when I have a festival to go to on Saturday 😭😭😭
I don't know how many times I have told her that I can't do that much activity, but it just doesn't sink in.
She also has chronic pain and chronic illness, so I wish she understood 🙁
I have me/cfs and fibromyalgia and absolutely love this 😀
11:30 reminded me of what a girl said to me. I don’t have EDS, but do get joint pain. I also have some benign tumours.
Anyway this girl told me to try turmeric
I told her it wouldn’t work
She kept insisting that it would
Just trust me on this one🤦♀️
It’s frustrating when people try to help, or pretend to have expert knowledge on your condition when they’re less accurate than some google searches.
I loved this video, actually made my day.
My doctor repeatedly insisted I try turmeric, because ibuprofen caused bad GI issues. Turmeric was MUCH worse!
I mean turmeric is good for you! But not sure if it would do anything for eds
I just wish my doctors could figure out what's wrong with me. The only person who takes me totally seriously and is actually concerned for my life is my therapist. Which means its not just a mental problem guys! Sigh. Curse being in a small town and being complicated.
Oh, I feel your comment, straight to my heart. I live in a small town where we regularly have no doctor available and if we need help the paramedics transport us via road for an hour or more, or if it's serious by helicopter.
I always have to educate the new doctors that come about my complicated pattern of diagnoses and symptoms. I don't want to know how I would manage without access to the internet and even that can play up.
I've been vomiting almost every day for 2 years but because I am basically house bound I have had trouble convincing anyone to help me. Since February I've lost more than 5 kilograms just from being sick. I finally get to the gastro doctor in November. My family just think I'm being lazy because I don't let them visit when I'm sick. I know if I'm sick when my brother visits he will join me in vomiting. My dad thinks lecturing me to get up and do stuff will help.
We sometimes have to wait a month to get in to see the doctor or for ultrasound. For xrays, MRI scans or to see specialists we have to travel to one of the large cities.
My therapist is cutting her hours in one in town clinic, because she is starting in another clinic as well, it's not in my town.
I travel one way 4 to 5 hours away to find some specialists.
I've dealt with chronic pain for more than 20 years and only recently found someone who has said "I believe you" and "let's see what we can do about your pain".
Don't let others stop you from researching your symptoms, finding things that help you and don't be afraid to show evidence of your symptoms to the doctors.
One thing that helped me was to track everything, to record every symptom I experience every day so I could show the doctors and so I could find the patterns in what set off the flare ups.
I track mood, sleep, food and drink, any stressful things (conversations, experiences, lectures from dad, etc), activity, pain level, energy, and any other symptoms that pop up.
Blessings from South Eastern Australia, Dot
Diagnosed 2 yrs ago with hEDS. Doctor in TO who diagnosed me told me she'd never seen someone bend their fingers 180 degrees backwards. 110, 120, but never 180. (i.e. my finger nail touches the skin of the back of my hand.)
Kellogg's sent me a "cease and desist" letter last week, cuz I "snap, crackle and pop" too much.
My great aunt was a nurse for almost 40 years. She doesn't understand how the pain is for me. Well, now that she's had hip replacements, she does.
She gave up sugar and butter in the 70's, and meat in the early 80's. She thinks Yoga, super healthy eating, etc will fix me. HA! Collagen can't be fixed with fish.
That’s more than 180°. 180° means it goes back in the opposite direction. It sounds like the tip of your finger is more like 225° back. The base of your finger (metacarpophalangeal joint) is probably doing about 135°. If it were hyperextending 180°, all of the finger would be lying flat against the dorsum of your hand.
@@Correctrix My finger nail touches just in front of my watch... although there is a small gap between the finger and back of the hand.
what kills me is when you have painful chronic illnesses but people cant see them so they dont believe you...sometimes family does that and its the worst
sosorry just had to reply and validate you. It seriously is the worst, its so frustrating. Or they try to gaslight you or act like because we didn't show their idea of dramatic signs that we cant possibly be suffering. Maybe we have to do our best and not want to be center of attention fam, ever think of that?? Sending good vibes well wishes & health your way!! you're not alone!💙
@@cieluphantomhive2405 thank you. i experienced this yet again today and i have been in chronic pain since 2001 due to a horrible car accident, 12 surgeries, fibro and now RA. my family acts like there is nothing wrong with me and that their actions dont stress me out and make fibro flare. its a tough way to live sometimes. my friends keep me going!
yes, just eat right, you don't exercise enough, just get motivated, time to get in shape!! OMG!! SO sick of it!!
"I just don't understand why you can't _____. Other people who have chronic illnesses do." This aggravates me to no end. Not everyone with a chronic illness can do the same things. Everyone has limits. I know mine and won't push them.
I told someone about my joints getting worse, and they told me “all you need to do is stretch and you’ll be fine!”
Yeah...
*don't come after me , I know how to sleep* lolol, this kills me!!! these were hilarious. thanks for the giggle!
“We should wrap you in bubble wrap” - literally everyone when I injure my self because of EDS
Had a teacher threaten to put me in a body cast so I would never hurt again...
It’s weird I want this , not a full body cast but those tube bandages that squeeze slightly make my joints feel so much more stable I wish I could have it over my whole body
If I had known I had EDS back in the Myspace days, the music for my page would have just been snap, crackle, pop on repeat. 😅
😂
“If I was in an anti-gravity sphere, I’m pretty sure I’d still be in pain...”. Yup!
As a service dog handler I get the allergy thing a lot and I just say good thing he is a poodle and keep walking!
My service dog is a poodle too
you should do this again it was so funny
I forgot the word grapes but I remembered it in Spanish and I was with my niece and I said what are those purple circle things called and she said”GRAPES?!”😂
😂
At like 8:12 when you started talking about joints popping my shoulder and knee popped 😂
"You should do some yoga and meditation, it will heal your body" - my roommate
I get this so much😂
I hear this a lot too
And this one, which has NO benefits at all: "Only good vibes! It's a choice to be sick! Law of attraction!"
Lotus Position ... great idea for an EDS-er. 🙄
@@nebelungpixie9373 Hahaha totally. Windex cures everything!!
The ‘do you want to do something today’ meme really resonates with me. My sister still really doesn’t get that I’m not well and am putting strategies in place to manage my energy. I’ve explained it so many times, but she doesn’t understand that I need plenty of forward notice.
Hey I’m a chronic illness warrior! It’s great to see another a video spreading awareness. Keep up the good work
I subluxed my shoulder SO LOUDLY during complete silence in a lecture today, I am so feeling these memes!
I have a lot of chronic conditions, I think they are all comorbid and one of them is chronic migraine. I’ve had so many people tell me exercising, eating better, and losing weight would help. Well...I did and am doing that. I’ve lost almost 90 pounds, I exercise every single day, and I watch what I eat. I now have more migraines than I did when I was morbidly obese.
I’ve also had ribs pop out and I was in PT for so long because of it. 2-3 times a week I’d go in to have my ribs popped back in place.
I forgot the word for 'pan' when I was asking my mum what to do with it when she was standing looking away from me and I just went "what do I do with.. him. This. The thing" i got absolutely roasted gjdjdkks
LMAO 🤣 you don’t know how often I have vacuumed the grass and mowed the carpeting! LMAO
I hate those well meaning know it all people. Then when you say thanks but that won't work for me, all they want to do is argue.
Me: *finally lays down in bed after a long day*
Some random part of my body: *starts hurting for no reason and won’t go away no matter how I position myself*
GUURRLLLLL YOU HIT 10K!!!!!!!!! Excellent!!!! So so proud of you. Thank you for always educating us and in this case humouring us with these memes! So many I related to, but my two faves are the rice krispies...😂😂😂 and the cat sleeping in the ridiculous position!! So damn true! Also the spoonies unite one, oh my days..... the truth!! Congrats again on your success!!!!
Funnily enough, my hip subluxed as I was watching this (OW!) but that's probably through age more than anything! A lot of those are very appropriate to people with chronic illnesses & the ignorance we face. Thanks for the video 👍☺
5:22 I have EDS too an I recently went to an orthopedist about a severely sprained ankle and I was like there’s a good chance I dislocated it and he looked at me and said I couldn’t have dislocated it without there being a fracture. This meme is legit my reaction 😂
That's such a weird thing for him to say! You can't dislocate with fracturing?? Just....no. I hope he's familiarized himself with EDS since seeing you!!
Kara Stone yeah it was kind of annoying because I was supposed to see an EDS specialist about it and then they just sent me to a fracture clinic and then I had to deal with that guy 😤🥺
@@LittleLeafLee Ugh I feel you. Why don't they just send us to the experts first??
@@LittleLeafLee Btw, how's your ankle now?
Kara Stone it’s alright hurts but it’ll be fine I guess. What’s funny is that I dislocated my knee without knowing it 2 months ago and walked on it for 5 days and my ankle hurts more than that does and I just rolled it this time. Funny how those disease works sometimes 😂
See I haven’t really experienced the whole “try this thing” situation. Instead I’ve experienced people telling me that I’m wrong with what MY diagnosis is. Like lol wannabe doctor, thanks for your two cents. 🤣
The other day, an acquaintance I haven't talked to in years diagnosed me with shingles because she read an article about it online and it shares some of my symptoms.
Or when someone doesn't believe that your illness is real. "Oh that's not real, that's something someone made up and people are claiming that they have it."
I SOOOOOOO get the darkness one. I have pots and will stand up and the room goes black or like static and I think I can find my way around then hit a wall.
I have pain that travels from my right shoulder all the way down to my knees. Started after I almost broke my neck two years ago. I'm told I need to live with it the rest of my life. But they still cannot tell me what is causing the issue as everything "looks okey". I'm 47 and have lot's ti look after still...how does a grandfather continue to provide for everyone when I get up feeling like someone is beating me with a bat all day long?
Lethologica: the inability to remember a particular word. I can’t remember words like couch or pen. But lethologica is forever burned into my memory. Dear brain, if you could let me choose what we remember rather than picking at random that would be great.
I love this video 😂❤️ my boyfriend literally calls me rice crispie because I crack so much 😂
We are part of a complete breakfast! LMAO
@@I_am_Allan hahaha
9:50 my sister once managed to say "i think i'm going sterile" when talking about her memory, I assume she meant senile though but it really emphasize the problem
I just got diagnosed with EDS and also just found out I have a ton of spinal damage. I’m so happy I found your channel!! I need to not feel alone in this. 💕🌺🤣
I've also got EDS and had a terrible doctors appointment today. This helped a lot!
Yo the rib dislocation thing is so accurate. I went to the Ed after one episode injured my lung right? And the doctor comes in and he’s like, “there’s no such thing as a dislocated rib” then I showed him, he touched it while looking at my heart rate and immediately gave my OxyContin. It was so funny, but obviously laughing made it worse.
Totally feel alive. BTW, you look exactly like my granddaughter. I see you and think when she's older this is what she is going to look like. She's 11. I mean all they way down to the expressions you make.
The last one is just classic.
"Sorry I can't I did something yesterday" That was too real!! Hahaha
So glad I stumbled across your channel. It took me a while to get my doctor to listen to me, but I was recently diagnosed with a chronic illness. I may have a second issue, too, but I am glad to get this first one figured out. I also have glaucoma that is starting to affect my eyesight (slowly). I barely started doing videos for my channel
Lmao! Your fab. I like the way all us unwell seem to take humor to help us ride it. I love it.
I HATE HATE HATTTTTTE the pain scale.
To this day I still dont know what to say, and no one else seems to know either. Does my constant pain mean I start my scale at 0 then?
Love seeing Jackie in your intro,miss seeing her video,s, Love the MeMes.My chronic condition is not hereditary, I have COPD so most of it I did it to my self, and also had my appendix burst and had many complication and spent almost 4 months in hospital, and 2 sugeries because of it, but also still have issues now from hernias and pain still many years later. Sometimes doctors don,t know how to treat you, kind of put there hands up .
I actually had someone tell me I didn't pray enough....
The brain fog bird meme is so true. The other day I couldn't think of the word "Tall" so I just told a friend he was vertically thicc.
My bestie gets dislocating ribs too.
Edit: I can totally relate to the "So you don't have any chronic illness and you're not a doctor? Please give me more [of] your expert advice on how I can feel better". I feel the need to add that most of the time they don't even understand the science (or rather the lack thereof) behind the things they're suggesting.
"you won't have it, it's very rare". That pisses me off
Fun fact about the platypus being the oncoming pain. Male platipuses have a toxic sting that is excruciating and can leave people incapacitated for weeks.
Just sitting here watching you react to the most relatable memes I've ever seen is really helping me right now. I overdid it yesterday, and I will now have to suffer for the next few days... All because I wanted to go to a football game *sigh* At least I have memes though, lol.
The most annoying thing (well one of the top many) is when your in pain but your also not and you just can't tell anymore because you know it's bad but it's not as bad as it gets so it's like numb and normal and just confusing
I adored this video and it’s so accurate
I am very guilty of suggesting stuff to help people with chronic pain because I have chronic back and reproductive pain and my roommate suffers from migraines and joint pain so I am very guilty of being “ this helps me or this helps my roommate when we are hurting” I try really hard to keep my mouth shut but somtimes I just can’t cause I want to help.
I’ve had chronic pain for almost a decade to the point that I don’t react properly to pain anymore and when I tell someone it hurts I can’t make the right facial expression for pain so they tell me I’m not in pain
So glad I came across this channel it's nice to see and hear someone that understands chronic illnesses and the caring and respect in the comments is just so great and supportive👍❤👑
Being someone with MS before the age of 40 is just incomprehensible to some people. Keep having to point out that it used to take 20 years for doctors to figure out that people didn't have whatever other disease presents with their first symptoms. I was lucky that my mom also has MS and my first symptoms weren't vision problems
I have EDS and get brain fogs and my GP looked at me like im making it up, i told my Physiotherapist and she said oh yeah thats common and told me its part of EDS and Fibro which made me so happy as i thought i was crazy on top of all my other issues
“Your vibrations are just too low. You just need to get your vibrations up.” Effectively saying you’re not actually sick AND you are doing it to yourself. As well as other implications but eh
_Oof_ A brainfog word I had a while back was "Bed side table" and I overhear my brothers friend very confused and reply
_"Did you mean nightstand?"_ The second hand embarrassment combined with mine should have put me in the ground. LOL
the popping is real!!! my friend once told me that my bones were like fresh glowsticks and that if I were an action figure that they'd have to put in a device that just crunched every 15 min 😂😂😂
When people say that I am too young to be sick...I tell them "that's fine, I'll snd you my medical bills then." This line normally shuts them up
I cracked all my finger while the video was loading. I feel caught. 🙈😂
😂
Lol,new start every day.
Soumds like a fairy tale.
I havent rested in years
I have multiple sclerosis and can relate to some of these memes. thank you for sharing these I needed a laugh today
The song of my people one is so funny (I don’t have EDS but I do have hyper mobility which causes me to sublux and have chronic pain but we don’t know why but popping joints is a very relatable sound) just found ur channel and it seems so cool
THE CEREAL ONE OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDD I LOST IT
The nurse at the clinic I got diagnosed at was confused when I said my vision flashes out. I'm both sorry and glad it's not just me.
The rice crispy cereal one hit different, LMAO, like hello, may I introduce you to my entire spine?
I had a classmate say to me once "Maybe you would feel better...if you just like ate a salad..."
Did you kill him?
I told my friend I have pots but I wanna exersise ( I was telling him my heart races and I almost fall when i stand up) he said : then just do that then . I was like yea... how about no
Omg. All so relatable- the cat pose, the darkeness dizziness, spongebob ones, the snap crackle pop sublex one.... and on!
I don’t have EDS but the “hold my Gatorade” SPEAKS TO ME bc of my time in the hospital lmao
Hey, Izzy nice job with meme uploads. I, remember going to see a specialist and when the doctor saw me the first thing came out of his mouth was "You don't look like your in pain." And in my mind I was saying you don't look like a caring doctor even though it says "M.D.O.S on his white coat the D stands for dummy and the S for stupid. Even doctors say the craziest stuff to their patients...LoL. Thanks Izzy for making me laugh...been low in spirit and I needed this. You have wonderful day...you and your beautiful kitties.☺🐈 🐈
Oh I was told by a doc it's impossible to have a thoracic disc herniation... My body clearly didn't listen well enough because one of my thoracic disc herniations caused a spontanous cross section paralysis 🙄😂 some docs say the dumbest stuff
That last meme is how I feel about this video! Thank you! ❤
I have mild-moderate gastroparesis and some type of colon dysmotility. I once had a therapist told me that I should try quitting all of my meds for that (i take way too many pills for all of this) and just drink prune juice and i'll be fine. I never saw them again. I wish prune juice could fix me.
Blu M Oh my word, yes! I looked literally pregnant today from dysmotility all this past week. If only somethinglike prune juice would make the sphincter at the bottom of my stomach work 🙄 The vicious cycle is miserable. Don't they think that if prune juice was all it took we would jump on it? Do we look like we enjoy pain and nausea and severe bloating 24/7?! 🙄
The last one. I'm gonna do that the next time I see a doctor. I will.
There are no words to describe how much this MADE MY WEEK 😁❤️
With the 'milkshake' bit I've always believed it was because she shakes her chest in the video and as women we can produce milk, so milkshake.
Also these memes resonate so so much
😂
I also always wondered. Thanks!
YESSS, The spongebob standing up one 😂 also the finn rider one was super accurate 😂
Great video! (:
That face when someone understand OMG yes. and the minions one, I did a thing yesterday. totally. and totally the brain fog one, tho I also have that with dyslexia. I tottaly do that words to describe it rather than the word. or I get a word that sounds similar but means something totally different. brb with a charlie video.
These are all so relatable. I 100% have a new favorite RUclips channel ❤
These were awesome and I was laughing so hard (except for the vomit one - yuck - nope - emetophobia alert lol, but seriously)! I've never heard of anyone else having neck and jaw pain like I and my dad have. My husband has woken me before because he's seen my neck in such weird positions he knows I'll wake in pain so he makes the precarious choice to gently wake me to save me from that severe pain. I have to always sleep on specific feather pillows so they form around my head and neck. If I use a memory foam pillow I get such a bad headache due to its stiffness. I need support but softness. I've never met or seen anyone else who deals with so much of what I do until I was introduced to the EDS and POTS world.
Oh yeah, and the hip one! My PT didn't think it was possible 🙄 My Dr believed me because I did it and then my daughter popped her shoulders in and out. So there's that. Yeah, we can do that. Just found out our fingers can be easily pulled out, too.
Casually talking to someone who doesn’t know about you’re illnesses and being all like, “Haha yeah I can’t see out of my one eyes right now”.
I loved that! You found memes I’ve never seen before! xxxxxx