Look, it’s spring. And last year’s loose dust has turned into this soft willingness. The wind-flowers have come up trembling, slowly the brackens are up-lifting their curvaceous and pale bodies. The thrushes have come home, none less than filled with mystery, sorrow, happiness, music, ambition. And I am walking out into all of this with nowhere to go and no task undertaken but to turn the pages of this beautiful world over and over, in the world of my mind. * * * Therefore, dark past, I’m about to do it. I’m about to forgive you for everything. “A Settlement” by Mary Oliver from What Do We Know, Poems and Prose Poems
THANKS FOR WRITING THAT OUT! I keep thinking i get it when stepping out here into the ferns and annual brackens and the ancient redwoods (i think proudly that i have planted two yet tiny ones, and all the uncurling ferns, while most have been here and will be, here because they did it themselves, persisting in incomprehensible beauty in the shade where they are mostly unseen, unknown.)
I'm in a 12 step program. It works so well to finding all sorts of envolvement . Your side of the street and what your not responsible for. Humility and gratitude is one of the biggest take aways. 🙏 I have ultimate faith that my higher power now. I just do my best and leave the rest. Prayer and meditation is key to opening all gifts inside of us after we get rid of that attachment of others. Love and love more. ❤️
Very gratified for finding Fred's talk here! He articulates the human dilemma so effectively and advocates for all of us to embrace our best selves with our current knowledge of neurobiology to lead happier and healthier lives. Kudos 💞
I would like to hear what freds perspective today as the narrative is creating enormous anxiety and an opportunity to go deeper into understanding myself.!!!!!!! Light,joy,peace and serenity.💜🌈💜
Well. Because i get repeatedly Unready, i have to revisit Fred's lessons repeatedly. I didn't even have the courage to revisit "Fred Online" for a couple years. (The Palo Alto road is El Camino Royal, yeah, the Royal Road.101 down on the Bayshore was made with some landfills. El Camino is the older, rather like our brains, selected for love & automatic forgiveness, but Really ONLY able to do that if we model and imitate that from and for every new moment, for ourselves and for others.)
Yes to Futures, I hear you. It's the dynamic of elitism, oppression and how that shapes what is available to differing individuals. I just completed an undergraduate degree in social work to see how this spiritual/forgiveness model fits into it. Mostly, it amounted to a deep dive into my own need for change. I did this through the lens of A Course in Miracle (which I have studied since about 1986...it is what I have found to works for me). What a journey! Anyway, I could have a lengthy conversation about the interface of the "lousy world" and transformation through a spiritual path which, necessarily, includes "forgiveness", which of course is defined differently, in accordance with different traditions (Dr. Ken Wapnick (Course In Miracles, is accessible through youtube, should you wish) is truly worthy, or so I find). .
Fred actually references a number of very specific research findings. (disclosure: I reported on his Stanford Forgiveness Project almost 2 decades ago, while they were putting victims and perpetrators of violence together. Our common problems so pale in comparison that we are, as Wm. Blake's wife once said "in Paradise now.") I won't cite here, as some are neuroimaging studies, some, as you can tell, correlative large-scale findings. One behavioral, for example, tested and found a preponderance of people (more males, in this case) when required to wait with no stimulation, actually p[referred to give themselves painful shocks, rather than remain n quiet, listening to their thoughts/self-narratives. It's NO wonder that we are cruel to others, if we act thusly to our own self. Almost hundreds come to mind, as one experiment or observational study leads to another. Fred refers to the fact that ALL novel sensory experience is shunted to brain area[s] that examines for possible threat. Such obsessive thoughts of threat are, as he says, anciently evolved through this module system to predict probabilities. So long as we have not accommodated, habituated to whatever the novel stimulus implies, such obsession is required by the brain. Those who became too easily habituated and ignore, are the ones who served as early breakfast. 1/2 Billion or more years of this honed us, so, like other herd animals, sharing a wary eye has value. All animals do habituate, when predictive error is likely very small. But don't, as Fred notes, shock yourself just for the dopamine stimulus activation, unless you gain knowledge or benefit from doing so. Learning results from the motivation of that neurotransmitter, and ALL stimuli function to enable learning. Happiness, as you see from the young and the learners of all ages (I actually knew and was influenced by a man born in 1850, who lived through Civil War, all the horror up into VIet Nam, and the nuclear threat. His greatest demonstrative actions involved kindness, eagerness, and exuberance way into his 100s. To us little kids, and children sense exquisitely nuances lost to most adults - it's a matter of the vast neural connectivity that gets pruned between 0 and 12! -he clearly showed only the exuberant joy, the serenity of openness, the attention to the present that I have seen nearly ALL dissipate in their sensory attention. You see exuberance, play, and savoir faire in the bodies/brains of other creatures. You, too, have this capacity. What was that famous line? "Don't believe everything you think." The things we heuristically distill from our limited experience MUST remain OPEN to change. Forgiveness is absolutely necessary, BECAUSE, Others also have extremely limited experience. One may have to separate from brutal and abusive others, until and unless that interaction ceases. But this does NOT preclude forgiveness of the other, for they are passing on brutality, ignorance, loss, absences, limitations that were focused on them. They may, as some of whom you clearly know, have had all possibility of courage, of trust, of kindness, or love, pruned away from their synapses. This is fact, and it is difficult to grow or regrow such connectivity, when they CANNOT EVEN PERCEIVE it. When you are safe, distanced, you WILL be able to recognize this. In the Polynesian/Hawaiian language, love, pity, longing for, these are all one word. If you claim to love, know that it is not different than compassion for the innocent, the unknowing, the tiniest infant of ANY species.Come to each new living being, to each new moment with Aloha, and the humility of KNOWING only that you do not and cannot know. You do NOT have the "truth." but only a small often unused partial, inattentive awareness , perhaps smaller than any whom you will ever encounter. That turns out to have been my experience, as well.
👍 wonderful talk ! I learnt something like this at a Buddhist retreat in 2009. In the Himalayas . It was called Metta Bhavna Meditation . They ask you to visualise someone you love except your sex partner . Then you visualise someone who is just an acquaintance like your store keeper or your Gardner or someone in the office but not close to Then you meditate on someone you absolutely hate . In all these you visualise and wish them inna beautiful place , appreciating that they are happy and wish them joy etc . And forgiving them which forgives us . Thus actually continues to your own body parts starting from your feet going up to the brain . And you really transcend . And of course the breathing to begin and end to come back into the now ! 🙏🌹
Yeah, you know that Fred, whose lectures implicitly cite a huge library of research on the health and the international, social, and familial benefits of exactly all this you and he give us! At Stanford and its biological & medical research institutions, so connected with other educational and the perennial & perceptive life philosophical institutions ( think the buddhist and the other approaches from Esalen some miles to the south, to any, or every, human potential and ecological center around), Fred tested the results of forgiveness bringing together the victims of that cruel Northern Ireland conflict along with later projects. Even such occurrences as self-injury, have begun to statistically vastly reduce, when CHOOSING the priorities Fred here advocates. Cycles of violence and harm are ended through continuing determination to persist in Fred's learned prescriptive efforts. I cannot express sufficient gratitude for him and his decades of work!
Nope. This one doesn't work for me. It really feels like he is shaming people that are hurt for feeling hurt. The problem is where is the limit. How much can you endure and keep forgiving
I hear you loud and clear. ❤ I know this could perceived as shaming, I felt like you after initially hearing Fred on another you tube talk. But Fred does say we need to grieve what happened to us in our childhoods and/ or how people have hurt us. I’m still very much in the process of forgiveness. But I do see the wisdom of Fred Luskin. How I have the ability through the inner child work and grief process to transform all my rage, hurt, and anger into creativity and a more evolved version of me. It’s a painful process though and not easy. It is okay to not be ready to do this work. All in due time.Check out a book “ Loving what is” by Byron Katie and some of her you tube videos. They have helped me with all this stuff.
Forgiveness is not about letting more injury happen. It's about letting go of what will continue to hurt you. It is not for the offender. It is for the victim. In this context, forgive as often as you want to stop the injury from continuing to rip you apart.
Wow! Where has this guy been all my life. I am sending this link to e everyone I know.
Look, it’s spring. And last year’s loose dust has turned into this soft willingness. The wind-flowers have come up trembling, slowly the brackens are up-lifting their curvaceous and pale bodies. The thrushes have come home, none less than filled with mystery, sorrow, happiness, music, ambition.
And I am walking out into all of this with nowhere to go and no task undertaken but to turn the pages of this beautiful world over and over, in the world of my mind.
* * *
Therefore, dark past,
I’m about to do it.
I’m about to forgive you
for everything.
“A Settlement” by Mary Oliver from What Do We Know, Poems and Prose Poems
THANKS FOR WRITING THAT OUT!
I keep thinking i get it when stepping out here into the ferns and annual brackens and the ancient redwoods (i think proudly that i have planted two yet tiny ones, and all the uncurling ferns, while most have been here and will be, here because they did it themselves, persisting in incomprehensible beauty in the shade where they are mostly unseen, unknown.)
Wow, Fred Luskin is a much needed voice in this climate of unforgiveness and vindictive social-political climate.
I'm in a 12 step program. It works so well to finding all sorts of envolvement . Your side of the street and what your not responsible for. Humility and gratitude is one of the biggest take aways. 🙏 I have ultimate faith that my higher power now. I just do my best and leave the rest. Prayer and meditation is key to opening all gifts inside of us after we get rid of that attachment of others. Love and love more. ❤️
LUSKIN SAYS ....WE THINK WE HAVE FORGIVEN... WHEN WE HAVENT. FORGIVENESS IS ALL MY PART
@@michaelpatrick3113 forgive yourself and forget yourself. 🙏
❤❤❤
Very gratified for finding Fred's talk here! He articulates the human dilemma so effectively and advocates for all of us to embrace our best selves with our current knowledge of neurobiology to lead happier and healthier lives. Kudos 💞
Amazing talk. Thank you. Love how authentic you are. How down to earth. ❤
Yes !
I've got a lot of time for Fred Luskin. Doing valuable work
Thank you so much for posting this.
I would like to hear what freds perspective today as the narrative is creating enormous anxiety and an opportunity to go deeper into understanding myself.!!!!!!!
Light,joy,peace and serenity.💜🌈💜
When the student is ready, the teacher appears ❤️
Well.
Because i get repeatedly Unready, i have to revisit Fred's lessons repeatedly.
I didn't even have the courage to revisit "Fred Online" for a couple years.
(The Palo Alto road is El Camino Royal, yeah, the Royal Road.101 down on the Bayshore was made with some landfills. El Camino is the older, rather like our brains, selected for love & automatic forgiveness, but Really ONLY able to do that if we model and imitate that from and for every new moment, for ourselves and for others.)
This is brilliant🙏
You believe in what you practice 🙏🏽
I adore this man🙏
I highly appreciate this lecture! I have work to do.
Yes to Futures, I hear you. It's the dynamic of elitism, oppression and how that shapes what is available to differing individuals.
I just completed an undergraduate degree in social work to see how this spiritual/forgiveness model fits into it. Mostly, it amounted to a deep dive into my own need for change. I did this through the lens of A Course in Miracle (which I have studied since about 1986...it is what I have found to works for me). What a journey! Anyway, I could have a lengthy conversation about the interface of the "lousy world" and transformation through a spiritual path which, necessarily, includes "forgiveness", which of course is defined differently, in accordance with different traditions (Dr. Ken Wapnick (Course In Miracles, is accessible through youtube, should you wish) is truly worthy, or so I find).
.
The power of intentions has a lot about health and wealth to weather and plants even moving mountains and literally doing so.
Fred actually references a number of very specific research findings. (disclosure: I reported on his Stanford Forgiveness Project almost 2 decades ago, while they were putting victims and perpetrators of violence together. Our common problems so pale in comparison that we are, as Wm. Blake's wife once said "in Paradise now.")
I won't cite here, as some are neuroimaging studies, some, as you can tell, correlative large-scale findings.
One behavioral, for example, tested and found a preponderance of people (more males, in this case) when required to wait with no stimulation, actually p[referred to give themselves painful shocks, rather than remain n quiet, listening to their thoughts/self-narratives. It's NO wonder that we are cruel to others, if we act thusly to our own self.
Almost hundreds come to mind, as one experiment or observational study leads to another.
Fred refers to the fact that ALL novel sensory experience is shunted to brain area[s] that examines for possible threat. Such obsessive thoughts of threat are, as he says, anciently evolved through this module system to predict probabilities. So long as we have not accommodated, habituated to whatever the novel stimulus implies, such obsession is required by the brain. Those who became too easily habituated and ignore, are the ones who served as early breakfast.
1/2 Billion or more years of this honed us, so, like other herd animals, sharing a wary eye has value.
All animals do habituate, when predictive error is likely very small.
But don't, as Fred notes, shock yourself just for the dopamine stimulus activation, unless you gain knowledge or benefit from doing so.
Learning results from the motivation of that neurotransmitter, and ALL stimuli function to enable learning. Happiness, as you see from the young and the learners of all ages (I actually knew and was influenced by a man born in 1850, who lived through Civil War, all the horror up into VIet Nam, and the nuclear threat. His greatest demonstrative actions involved kindness, eagerness, and exuberance way into his 100s.
To us little kids, and children sense exquisitely nuances lost to most adults - it's a matter of the vast neural connectivity that gets pruned between 0 and 12! -he clearly showed only the exuberant joy, the serenity of openness, the attention to the present that I have seen nearly ALL dissipate in their sensory attention.
You see exuberance, play, and savoir faire in the bodies/brains of other creatures. You, too, have this capacity.
What was that famous line? "Don't believe everything you think."
The things we heuristically distill from our limited experience MUST remain OPEN to change. Forgiveness is absolutely necessary, BECAUSE, Others also have extremely limited experience. One may have to separate from brutal and abusive others, until and unless that interaction ceases. But this does NOT preclude forgiveness of the other, for they are passing on brutality, ignorance, loss, absences, limitations that were focused on them.
They may, as some of whom you clearly know, have had all possibility of courage, of trust, of kindness, or love, pruned away from their synapses. This is fact, and it is difficult to grow or regrow such connectivity, when they CANNOT EVEN PERCEIVE it.
When you are safe, distanced, you WILL be able to recognize this. In the Polynesian/Hawaiian language, love, pity, longing for, these are all one word. If you claim to love, know that it is not different than compassion for the innocent, the unknowing, the tiniest infant of ANY species.Come to each new living being, to each new moment with Aloha, and the humility of KNOWING only that you do not and cannot know.
You do NOT have the "truth." but only a small often unused partial, inattentive awareness , perhaps smaller than any whom you will ever encounter. That turns out to have been my experience, as well.
👍 wonderful talk ! I learnt something like this at a Buddhist retreat in 2009.
In the Himalayas . It was called Metta Bhavna Meditation .
They ask you to visualise someone you love except your sex partner .
Then you visualise someone who is just an acquaintance like your store keeper or your Gardner or someone in the office but not close to
Then you meditate on someone you absolutely hate .
In all these you visualise and wish them inna beautiful place , appreciating that they are happy and wish them joy etc . And forgiving them which forgives us .
Thus actually continues to your own body parts starting from your feet going up to the brain . And you really transcend . And of course the breathing to begin and end to come back into the now ! 🙏🌹
Yeah, you know that Fred, whose lectures implicitly cite a huge library of research on the health and the international, social, and familial benefits of exactly all this you and he give us!
At Stanford and its biological & medical research institutions, so connected with other educational and the perennial & perceptive life philosophical institutions ( think the buddhist and the other approaches from Esalen some miles to the south, to any, or every, human potential and ecological center around), Fred tested the results of forgiveness bringing together the victims of that cruel Northern Ireland conflict along with later projects.
Even such occurrences as self-injury, have begun to statistically vastly reduce, when CHOOSING the priorities Fred here advocates.
Cycles of violence and harm are ended through continuing determination to persist in Fred's learned prescriptive efforts.
I cannot express sufficient gratitude for him and his decades of work!
I learned forgiveness in sunday school.
Great info and well presented
choose life.
stay away from evil peoples .
Does anybody know an app to listen to different books & in different languages.
How do I watch the full video? You always make me turn off my computer at 7:27. Should I watch your videos or not?
Did he just say that he 'didn't plan the snow'?
Why does he look so older than I remember him in person ?
Nope. This one doesn't work for me. It really feels like he is shaming people that are hurt for feeling hurt. The problem is where is the limit. How much can you endure and keep forgiving
I hear you loud and clear. ❤ I know this could perceived as shaming, I felt like you after initially hearing Fred on another you tube talk. But Fred does say we need to grieve what happened to us in our childhoods and/ or how people have hurt us. I’m still very much in the process of forgiveness. But I do see the wisdom of Fred Luskin. How I have the ability through the inner child work and grief process to transform all my rage, hurt, and anger into creativity and a more evolved version of me. It’s a painful process though and not easy. It is okay to not be ready to do this work. All in due time.Check out a book “ Loving what is” by Byron Katie and some of her you tube videos. They have helped me with all this stuff.
Forgiveness is not about letting more injury happen. It's about letting go of what will continue to hurt you. It is not for the offender. It is for the victim. In this context, forgive as often as you want to stop the injury from continuing to rip you apart.