How I Survived the Ex Gay Movement With Theater
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 4 май 2016
- Peterson Toscano tried everything he could to “cure” himself of being gay, including living in a residential “gay-reparative” treatment center. Then he discovered Quakers. Now he travels the country telling his story.
►SUBSCRIBE for a new video every week! fdsj.nl/QS-Subscribe
___
Find out more about Peterson's work
fdsj.nl/peterson-website
Become a Friends Journal subscriber for only $28
fdsj.nl/FJ-Subscribe
Listen to the QuakerSpeak Podcast
fdsj.nl/QS-Podcast
Like us on Facebook
/ quakerspeak
Filmed and Edited by Jon Watts
www.JonWatts.com
___
Transcript:
No, but seriously: here in the Homo No Mo’ Halfway House, they never promise to make any of us actual heterosexuals-that would be a little ambitious for some of us-but they do promise that if we do our part and we work our programs, we’re going to come out of here as healthy, celibate ex-gays. Yeah, I’m excited about it, too.
My interest in gay reparative therapy was very much personal because at the age of 17 I got into my head that I would be far more valuable to everyone in the world and in heaven if I were a masculine-presenting heterosexual so I attempted to “de-gay” myself through a variety of gay conversion therapy treatments, exorcisms, support groups, even a residential facility that I lived in for two years where they promised to help me find freedom from homosexuality through Jesus Christ.
How I Survived the Ex-Gay Movement With Theater
My name is Peterson Toscano. I live in central Pennsylvania, Sunbury, Pennsylvania. I’m a Quaker and attend Pennsdale Meeting and Millville Meeting. So I’ve given myself the title “theatrical performance activist” because what I do is a number of things that overlap. So I’m a scholar, I’m a comic, I’m a storyteller, and I’m an actor, and everything I do really is to use comedy to address deadly serious issues.
Asking God to Be Fixed
And all of a sudden, they parade the kids in. You can’t go over to your kid and say “hi,” hug them, nothin’. Now this part, this was a hell of a thing. Because one by one, right, they made these kids stand up and tell us these stories about themselves. These disgusting stories. And listen, I don’t care. You could do whatever you want with whoever you want, all right? But you don’t stand up and say that shit in front of your mother. [AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
And so when the gay thing began to raise itself in me I didn’t know what to do. Like, what was going to happen if I told my parents, because I couldn’t have them reject me? And so then I opted to take matters into my own hands.
So the overarching question I continued to ask God day after day was, “please please, fix me, make me straight, make me normal.” I never considered that maybe the answer that God was giving was, “no, that’s not what I want to do.” I just always assumed that’s the right question, and in pursuing that question, and in pursuing God in that way, I nearly destroyed myself. I mean, over time it became emotionally and psychologically damaging for me, and the levels of shame and self-hatred and confusion just grew to toxic levels.
More: fdsj.nl/peterson-toscano
___
The views expressed in this video are of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Friends Journal or its collaborators.
![Cordae - Saturday Mornings (feat. Lil Wayne) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/z2GYJua09F0/mqdefault.jpg)
SUBSCRIBE for a new video every week! fdsj.nl/QS-Subscribe
WATCH all our videos: fdsj.nl/qs-all-videos
FILMED & EDITED by Jon Watts: jonwatts.com
Thank you, Peter! You describe your experience trying a church that was more accepting EXACTLY the way it has been for me. Also coming from the evangelical church (Pentacostal), and knowing at a young age that I was lesbian, but also the confusing messages being taught were scary and hurtful to me. You know, even MCC, a Psychic Institute's church, the New Age fellowships all had the familiar visual, structured service; and the trauma is visceral. No one I know understands that. It has taken me many years to rationalize everything and feel "safe" before I step inside a church for a family funeral, or whatever rare occasion finds me there. And now, here I am, researching a Quaker meeting. The tragedies in the world, and close to home today, are taking a toll on me. I may venture to a meeting just for the support. Sitting quietly appeals to me, esp. as a curious newcomer.
You were not a surprise to God. He knew you already. He knew you would be gay but He loved you. Jesus never said I am not dying for the gay. The church has failed to understand gay people, let alone trying to help them, not in terms of changing who they are but being loving.
Holy spirit never told anybody to build a huge church building.We are the Church.
Thank you, Friend Peter. "...what was going to happen if I told my parents.. because I couldn't have them reject me." Yeah. I get that.
amen...i can certainly relate to the ptsd response to "gay friendly" conventional religious organizations...
Another reason to love the Qs
Peterson love your Eunuch speech at open door ministries Long Beach...I too am gay he called me back in 2010 I accepted him at the age of 8 ... left the church, fundamentalist Baptist church, but never left God. God told me that he made me perfect just the way I was and that he loved me! Not my words...His! So he showed me Mathew 19:12... see my YT first videos on the Eunuchs...I just talk about my life, some politic talk and I read the Bible as well as sing with guitar.
This video is so so wonderful
Me too ditto. 😇🌈🙏 I made it barely. ❤️ Sometimes I think unless you see so both sides of it it's hard to see the whole big picture and by the time you see the whole big picture you're pretty old and you've wasted so much time you could have lived your life but your life was robbed because you we listened to the wrong people. 😇
hey, hi old friend love what your doin ,your blessed dude why no Scottish peeps, Peterson you bless me would love to catch up befofe I go home , four years with cancer dude isn't it good to be free, get in touch think about you a lot, iam in ministry, just love people and you dude acurry would be good and I can travel but needs to be soonkeep going amigo mio, I lived in spain for 4 years hope to hear from you soon
Dear Peter, you right you can be gay and be a Christian. You know why because Christianity as Catholicism doesn't save any one. Read the Torah, follow the Elohim and stop your own ways and the ways of others. We all struggle with sin one way if the other. But I'm telling you, not till you have a real encounter with Yashsua, not with "Jesus" you are not going to fine the truth. Seek Him while it's time. Time is really short. Do you think that according to His Word you are the Bride that He's coming for... Not need to answer me I know the answer. Just read the Torah and find it for yourself.
My best wishes Peter!!!!!
Yeah we’ll throw stones at adulterers too. What? XD