Healing Cycles of Trauma with Dr. Mariel Buqué | Being Well Podcast
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- Опубликовано: 13 июн 2024
- Dr. Mariel Buqué joins the podcast to help us learn how we can heal from the past, create healthier patterns, and break cycles of trauma. Dr. Buqué and I talk about what intergenerational trauma is, how we can “hand trauma down,” and how these problematic patterns show up in the real world. We focus on what helps someone take the first steps, the key role of insight, and moving from insight to action. Along the way, Dr. Buqué shares the powerful tools that help people resource themselves to do the hard work of breaking intergenerational patterns.
About our Guest: Dr. Mariel Buqué received her doctorate in counseling psychology from Columbia University, and her work has been featured on major media outlets like The Today Show and Good Morning America. She’s the author of the new book Break the Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma, and host of the podcast by the same name.
Key Topics:
0:00 Introduction
1:05 What drew Mariel to this work
10:40 How Mariel thinks about intergenerational trauma
17:40 Common patterns of her clients
20:40 Most people’s initial motivation to find healing
25:40 Courage and vulnerability with the people in our family systems
34:25 Grounding, excavating the family tree, finding healthy alternative patterns
40:15 Practices for stimulating the ventral vagal nerve
44:35 Finding a way in to healing that is accessible to you
48:35 Creating an intergenerational trauma tree
56:00 Finding steadiness when the emotional floodgates open
59:05 The shortcomings of the western medical outlook
1:01:55 Integration, and creating a short buffer between stimulus and response
1:07:40 Values and healthy pride
1:10:10 Recap
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Who Am I: I'm Forrest, the co-author of Resilient (amzn.to/3iXLerD) and host of the Being Well Podcast (apple.co/38ufGG0). I'm making videos focused on simplifying psychology, mental health, and personal growth.
I'm not a clinician, and anything I say on this channel should not be taken as medical advice.
You can follow me here:
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🌍 www.forresthanson.com
📸 / f.hanson
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I absolutely loved our chat Forrest! Thank you so much for this and thank you everyone for your kind comments and feedback!
You are incredible
This woman is amazing, I could listen to her calming voice and wisdom all day 🙏❤ Thank you both for so many helpful insights.
Agreed, she is so soothing....
Love love love this episode! Especially the very practical example Dr Buqué gave of giving ourselves time to react to a triggering situation in a more considered way. It sounds so logical and simple but when you’re in a stuck state of limbic system activation like I am, I often feel like everything is constantly coming at me and I forget that I don’t have to provide snap reactions that my caregivers demanded of me as a child. In fact, it’s reminded me that I have continued practicing a lot of “have to” behaviours that are artefacts of my childhood but are now just maladaptive. I’ve done some schema therapy, ACT etc so have awareness of some of the more obvious maladaptive behaviours like saying yes to everything or socially isolating myself when I fear rejection from someone. But not giving myself time to think is one I hadn’t identified before. I’m definitely going to get her book (I’m hoping for an audiobook version for my ADHD brain 😆).
Forrest, I also appreciate you asking for practical examples during these interviews, which I see you do very often, because it’s especially helpful for my neurodiverse brain. I also find your voice very soothing and non-judgemental/not intimidating. I hope you’d consider recording some guided meditations at some stage 😄🪴
p.s you, your father, Dr K and Patrick Teahan have helped me so much more than my 20+ years of on and off (bad) therapy. So thank you!!
Dr. Mariel Buqué...👍 At least in the UK, we have the NHS. The problem is it has been chronically underfunded since 2010, and there is now a long waiting list for free therapy. This has been since the 2008 crash and right-wing government imposing austerity. This year - every indication that a centre-left party will win overwhelmingly. Your recaps Forrest are always also very helpful.
This was so fantastic. I feel new levels of understanding and connection. More like this would be so great. ❤
Wow! It’s rare that I’m online right after you posted, Forrest. Happy new year! So grateful for your videos. Also wanted to tell you and your dad that as someone who never had the kind of parental figure (or any safe adult) as a kid, it’s really lovely to watch how you two converse and collaborate. Esp as someone who often need a blueprint to figure out what a secure attachment looks like, and who are now struggling to parent two young children while trying to heal from my own complex trauma, it’s so helpful to have role models to aspire to.
Not sure if you have anything on this but an idea in case it resonates - but I am struggling to find deep dives online about how to parent in a healthy way while dealing with triggers and flashbacks that come up because my children gives me perspective on how vulnerable and innocent I was when I was abused, while grieving for what I would have liked to have experienced (watching their interactions with their loving father), and then struggling with emotional burnout - guilt (for all the times I screw up as a mother) and managing my own reactivity due to my emotional flashbacks etc. sorry that’s a massive one and I’ve watched a number of episodes that cover some of these topics, just not sure if there’s one about how to parent when you are struggling with your own mental health and don’t have a blueprint to fall back on. 😅😅
❤ Appreciate your insight and honesty. May you continue to seek "wellness"
Wonderful conversation, thank you both ❤
She is incredible
Forrest, you are a wonderful interviewer! 🙏❤
I have seen the impact of my Grandma's trauma on the entire family line, but never realized how that is passed down even genetically! It totally makes sense though. I so dearly wish I had learned this stuff years ago, or that I had delayed having kids until this information came out. I could have done so much more to heal myself and them.
Dr Buque I am now a huge fan and will strongly consider buying your book. You seem like a wonderful human and a great therapist.
Agreed.
Thank you so much!
This was a great episode, thank you. I appreciated Dr Buque’s perspective.
She just radiates beauty from the inside omg! :)
This was wonderful as are all of the Being Well Podcasts. They have helped me a LOT with my own personal healing. Thank you for all the work done on these, Forrest, Rick and your guests.
Thank you for the interview! Not passing down my pain was one of my key motivations to start therapy
Thank you so much for this talk. It was very insightful 🌸
What a wonderful episode! ❤
Wonderful, wonderful episode, Thankyou.
A famous Irish writer once said "life is not about finding yourself, life is about reinventing yourself " you will be doing archeological dig for the rest of your life" we had enough exploitation.....😮
Thanks for today's episode. ❤
This conversation and reflection/summary are so helpful. Thank you both so very much ❤
This was such a great interview. Thank you both!
This was an excellent episode. I appreciate your creating it and am now reading Dr. Buque's book. Very insightful information shared in this episode and the book. Thank you.
Incredible talk ❤ thank you both, ive learned so much today from this. Thank you , thank you.
Thank you both for this wonderful, illuminating podcast. I always learn so much and I appreciate your time and efforts. Blessings to you & yours.
Thank you this amazing the rocking the dr shared was so good also the point about the 2 second pause very helpful. Your questions were very on point thank you
I enjoyed this conversation. It came to me in perfect timing. Thank you both!
I really enjoy how you explain the conversation at the end. 🎉🎉🎉
As a psychologist 👩🏾⚕️ I feel sad to realize that many downgrade pour work and is very undervalued and underpaid!! Many requirements but not enough support on financial nor respect for us professionals 😢
Bought the audiobook before I even finished listening to this podcast. I really like her approach!
🙏thank you Dr Buque!
i recently went thru a major amount of trauma which triggered two months of replaying CPTSD, and literally forgot these tools (as a Natural Therapeutic Specialist, i spent decades using & teaching many of these tools with my clients, & must now be reminded they exist ). i will be looking for that book.
Great conversations! Thanks for the interview.
I love this ❤ thank you for this video 💜
Forrest, thank you for this platform. First time seeing you; will look up other videos.
Thank you Dr. Buque for your work. I just found out about you.
What a delight!
Video on repair processes among siblings, friends, or even learning what repair processes are (CPTSD is not a fertile ground for these scripts)
Thanks, this was lovely. I'm with you, very materialist but also aware many "not scientifically proven" things can help people. I think there may be a through line of shamanic practices that just help people get out of harmful mental ruts.
Hi, can you do an episode on Misophonia, how it affects relationships, and coping mechanisms , please?
Interesting...
Please keep in mind that not everyone who is adept in softer skills needs to go into psychology.
If we're not careful, we will educate and place out of financial/logistical reach most of our emotionally intelligent individuals.
Society needs balanced people building roads and bridges, flying planes and driving busses.
😊
Almost leaving my long term regular Joe job, my god somehow helped me to see I am needed there to be available closer to the ground.
My metaphorical title is foundational stone.
If there's no one nearer the "bottom", how can anyone there reach an offered hand?
The homeless need this more than anyone. Pity it's not available to them. People with a roof over their head and food in their tummies, can get over just about anything with gratitude.
This therapist had a great message to share, BUT she said the word “actually” sooooo many times, I couldn’t concentrate on the message anymore. So distracting.
Nahhh thats just a you Problem
Def a you problem. Glad you identified it, so can work on your nitpicking of others. Be kinder to yourself❤
@@brianleslie592 and maybe you could work on your passive aggressive commentary 😉