What does she gain from being angry? Should she spend the rest of her life being angry and never being able to move on? The route OP has chosen to take is ultimately the more healthy route and will allow her to be able to heal and move on better and likely even more quickly than staying angry and wanting revenge
It moves her on in the cycle of grief. Being stuck in denial isn't healthy for anyone. Also, being angry doesn't mean vengeance. Being angry about this is to be expected. Though it seems she has skipped to bargaining in her impact statement. Op has a long way still before healing can occur.
story 2 --- you didn't "both get violent" he grab you and you reacted. You are allowed to defend yourself. trying to take on blame like that is so unhealthy. Grabbing you isn't something he should be doing if he's angry. It's scary. it isn't we both did stuff.
It's not so much that they think their client is innocent. Rather, most attorneys view it as ensuring the law is carried out fairly and justly so that people like that attacker can't get out of prison over a mistrial.
At the end of the day,they hop into their exspensive car,enter their exspensive home,greet their family. Enjoy their favorite beverage. Eat a dinner that most people can't afford the ingredients for. They are proud that they can give their partner and kids a life that all those victims in court can't give their families. They don't care how horrific the crime was that the person they're defending is. They care about getting paid. They only care if one of their family member's is affected. They care like crazy if their wife/daughter/sister is attacked like OP was.
It's their job to defend people, no matter the crime. Many lawyers can be slimy, but many also go after corruption. Look at lawyers who go after governments for wrongly accusing and jailing men and women for crimes they might have committed but in the end had nothing to do with. There's always good with bad.
Its a lawyer's job to defend people. Justice is only served when both parties have been expressed in court freely. Moreover a hell lot of sexual assault cases in most societies are fake.
@@ReverseRslash the husband jumped to violence when she refused to leave their home. That had nothing to do with the friend being psycho. All it will take is one person saying they saw OP cheat and that could set him off.
@@personwithaquestion1800 based on the story it wouldn’t since it was a mistake. You don’t clearly understand what had led up to that. Clearly you need stop chugging whatever is you’re on friend
it was most likely included in the sentencing as a result of SA. The results of examination and later treatment/doctor visits are included in case files.
OP said the man faced 60 years in prison for a slew of charges. It's incredibly likely the loss of her child was one of those charges. The reason she didn't "go after him" was because she wanted to prioritize her own healing, which to her meant empathy and forgiveness, which is entirely her right
Story 1: Restorative Justice,what a Joke. Nothing like letting an attacker think they can just tow the line,say I'm sorry,shed a few tears,fake being totally remorseful. Since they're "forgiven" , everything is fine. When they get out ,they know that they can go back into their ways. So what if they attack again. They depend on RJ and OP. Rinse and repeat. Majority of attacks aren't reported as is. How many repeat offenders are out there. Why are they out there? 1: The crime wasn't reported. 2: All they got was a 1/2 azz sentence for their crime. Nothing serious happened to them. They have NO reason to not do it again. Who cares how many lives they destroy or put through hell. The system is a joke. The only one who is protected is the perpertrator. OP feels sorry for that mans family. Really,how ignorant is she. That family will be on a month long vacation in Europe in a few months. After all, they need a break from all of the "stress" seeing their family member stand trial over some bimbo. There are plenty of other people like her attacker that are on the streets. Any one of them that were to hear of OPs statement might consider her a prime target. Will she push for RJ then. Nothing short of the death penalty should have been given to OPs attacker. F a sentence of XX # of years in prison. Way past time for him to exit this earth.
Since when has being raped/sodomized while being pregnant and losing the baby of her recently deceased boyfriend/father of her child been considerd run-of-mill. Are you right in the head?
Yeah. It was a good statement to hear, but nothing I would expect a judge who had seen this several times to get emotional over, and especially not the attacker who caused all this in the first place
Story #2 - OP... LEAVE. You didn't screw up the relationship, your untrustworthy husband and sh*tty exbest friend did. LEAVE with your child from BOTH, not just one of them
This. Also having loved each other for 8 years how do you hear accusations like that about your wife and not speak with her or confront her about it? I would think you would scream at your wife for an explanation. It seems the love or the trust was never there. This has only exposed the deep cracks in the foundation of their relationship, that a 3rd person who is not part of their relationship could so easily interfere and mislead a spouse into believing his wife has cheated. Even with evidence, if he truly loved her he should have demanded an explanation instead of avoiding her. He was planning to leave her after the baby came and started withdrawing in advance. Friend probably realized that hubby would not get with her even if they separated, heard OP was hospitalized and had a twinge of conscience.
To be fair he was shown chats and the friend they have been with for a decade accepted that she knew and cheaters don't usually accept that they are cheating
story 2 OP saw what he can do if he loses his cool she needs to run what's to stop him from pushing her and she falls wrong and ending up dead. just his word don't trust that for you life.
S1: So, I think that OP is a coward. This man, no, this monster, didn't give her one shred of empathy when he sexually assaulted her, causing the preamature birth of her baby. He deserves nothing but a small bed and a cell. Those tears, tears I doubt were genuine, wwre nothing but crocodile tears. You don't rack up a charge that equals SIXTY YEARS and just ... Miraculously recognize the error of your ways. He deserves jail time, immediately. Not a slap on the wrist. In short, OP is a FAR BETTER person than I.
História 2: a op deveria ter ido a polícia contra a amiga e o marido por ter encostado nela. A partir do momento que ele colocou a mão nela perdeu a razão, eu nunca confiaria nele de novo.
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Story 1:op, be angry. He took your last part of your partner.
Yeah. I'm surprised that wasnt mentioned at all in the victim impact statement
What does she gain from being angry? Should she spend the rest of her life being angry and never being able to move on?
The route OP has chosen to take is ultimately the more healthy route and will allow her to be able to heal and move on better and likely even more quickly than staying angry and wanting revenge
It moves her on in the cycle of grief. Being stuck in denial isn't healthy for anyone.
Also, being angry doesn't mean vengeance. Being angry about this is to be expected. Though it seems she has skipped to bargaining in her impact statement.
Op has a long way still before healing can occur.
story 2 --- you didn't "both get violent" he grab you and you reacted. You are allowed to defend yourself. trying to take on blame like that is so unhealthy. Grabbing you isn't something he should be doing if he's angry. It's scary. it isn't we both did stuff.
An open question to attorneys who defend people like OP’s attacker: How do you live with yourselves? I’m genuinely curious.
It's not so much that they think their client is innocent. Rather, most attorneys view it as ensuring the law is carried out fairly and justly so that people like that attacker can't get out of prison over a mistrial.
Everyone deserves a defense
At the end of the day,they hop into their exspensive car,enter their exspensive home,greet their family. Enjoy their favorite beverage. Eat a dinner that most people can't afford the ingredients for. They are proud that they can give their partner and kids a life that all those victims in court can't give their families. They don't care how horrific the crime was that the person they're defending is. They care about getting paid. They only care if one of their family member's is affected. They care like crazy if their wife/daughter/sister is attacked like OP was.
It's their job to defend people, no matter the crime. Many lawyers can be slimy, but many also go after corruption. Look at lawyers who go after governments for wrongly accusing and jailing men and women for crimes they might have committed but in the end had nothing to do with. There's always good with bad.
Its a lawyer's job to defend people. Justice is only served when both parties have been expressed in court freely.
Moreover a hell lot of sexual assault cases in most societies are fake.
Story 2: Op doesn't realize that her choice will happen again, and the abuse will continue. I seen this situation happen again.
How since the friend has been cut off??
@@ReverseRslash the husband jumped to violence when she refused to leave their home. That had nothing to do with the friend being psycho. All it will take is one person saying they saw OP cheat and that could set him off.
@@RylieRiddle I was asking the OP
@@ReverseRslashmeaning that when you let violence pass like that, even with therapy there is a good chance it will repeat again.
@@personwithaquestion1800 based on the story it wouldn’t since it was a mistake. You don’t clearly understand what had led up to that. Clearly you need stop chugging whatever is you’re on friend
S1,
OP is a better person than I
S2,
OPs friend is lucky to be alive, and that man would be an ex with a record
I'm hugely surprised that she didn't try and go after him for murdering her child
it was most likely included in the sentencing as a result of SA. The results of examination and later treatment/doctor visits are included in case files.
OP said the man faced 60 years in prison for a slew of charges. It's incredibly likely the loss of her child was one of those charges.
The reason she didn't "go after him" was because she wanted to prioritize her own healing, which to her meant empathy and forgiveness, which is entirely her right
I recall hearing how if the baby isn’t born yet it can’t be considered murder. Not sure if laws have changed since then
Yeah that is what makes me feel like its take, not even a mention of it in the "forgive and forget" bullshit
It depends on what the law considers viable, and how far along she is. In the U.S., it varies from state to state.
Story 1: Restorative Justice,what a Joke. Nothing like letting an attacker think they can just tow the line,say I'm sorry,shed a few tears,fake being totally remorseful. Since they're "forgiven" ,
everything is fine. When they get out ,they know that they can go back into their ways. So what if they attack again. They depend on RJ and OP. Rinse and repeat. Majority of attacks aren't reported as is. How many repeat offenders are out there. Why are they out there? 1: The crime wasn't reported. 2: All they got was a 1/2 azz sentence for their crime. Nothing serious happened to them. They have NO reason to not do it again. Who cares how many lives they destroy or put through hell. The system is a joke. The only one who is protected is the perpertrator. OP feels sorry for that mans family. Really,how ignorant is she. That family will be on a month long vacation in Europe in a few months. After all, they need a break from all of the "stress" seeing their family member stand trial over some bimbo. There are plenty of other people like her attacker that are on the streets. Any one of them that were to hear of OPs statement might consider her a prime target. Will she push for RJ then.
Nothing short of the death penalty should have been given to OPs attacker. F a sentence of XX # of years in prison. Way past time for him to exit this earth.
S2: Why would you stay with that man? damn op has such a low self esteem
I would be happy with jailhouse 'justice'
Some of these stories don't need police or court rooms.
They need 💀Frank Castle💀
Her victim impact statement 😢 💔
i’m sorry but the fact in the second story that the ex husband didn’t bother actually looking for proof shows how much faith he actually trusted her
Story 2: op needs to divorce POS hubby.
s2- Ops husband resorted to extreme psychical violence on a petite pregnant woman. What is he going to do when his child makes him angry?
Run of the mill victim impact statement brought judge to tears? BS. This entire story is creative writing.
Since when has being raped/sodomized while being pregnant and losing the baby of her recently deceased boyfriend/father of her child been considerd run-of-mill. Are you right in the head?
Yeah. It was a good statement to hear, but nothing I would expect a judge who had seen this several times to get emotional over, and especially not the attacker who caused all this in the first place
If she was able to bring up her lost baby with a man that died months earlier, maybe. But yeah, pretty basic.
There are literally videos of judges crying on RUclips so sit down.
Story #2 - OP... LEAVE. You didn't screw up the relationship, your untrustworthy husband and sh*tty exbest friend did. LEAVE with your child from BOTH, not just one of them
This. Also having loved each other for 8 years how do you hear accusations like that about your wife and not speak with her or confront her about it? I would think you would scream at your wife for an explanation. It seems the love or the trust was never there.
This has only exposed the deep cracks in the foundation of their relationship, that a 3rd person who is not part of their relationship could so easily interfere and mislead a spouse into believing his wife has cheated. Even with evidence, if he truly loved her he should have demanded an explanation instead of avoiding her. He was planning to leave her after the baby came and started withdrawing in advance. Friend probably realized that hubby would not get with her even if they separated, heard OP was hospitalized and had a twinge of conscience.
To be fair he was shown chats and the friend they have been with for a decade accepted that she knew and cheaters don't usually accept that they are cheating
Holy hell this title….!
You cannot force it. If you need to cry on stand let it the hell out.
story 2 OP saw what he can do if he loses his cool she needs to run what's to stop him from pushing her and she falls wrong and ending up dead. just his word don't trust that for you life.
S1: So, I think that OP is a coward. This man, no, this monster, didn't give her one shred of empathy when he sexually assaulted her, causing the preamature birth of her baby. He deserves nothing but a small bed and a cell. Those tears, tears I doubt were genuine, wwre nothing but crocodile tears. You don't rack up a charge that equals SIXTY YEARS and just ... Miraculously recognize the error of your ways. He deserves jail time, immediately. Not a slap on the wrist.
In short, OP is a FAR BETTER person than I.
História 2: a op deveria ter ido a polícia contra a amiga e o marido por ter encostado nela. A partir do momento que ele colocou a mão nela perdeu a razão, eu nunca confiaria nele de novo.
Day 122 of commenting to help secretvoices
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