DAY722 - Jason Webley - Letter to John Shriner

[@hannahyoung2137]

Whatever Jason is on, I want 20.

[@hannahyoung2137]

Me: I got to go to sleep early
Me at 3am: I WANT A GIRAFFE

[@habersmashery]

I forget about this song for years at a time… and then I remember it, come and find it, and it’s still hilarious every time.

[@sepiasnakesigil]

This song gives me life.

[@Dreampunk]

Such a funny song (and story) ! The lyrics are simply impressive, but I couldn't find them anywhere so I gave it a try, if you want to help me fill the blanks ! ;)
*LYRICS* (almost) :
Just hear me out
Try not to laugh
I've saved all my money, I've been working time-and-a-half
I want a giraffe, just a giraffe
Not a zebra or panda
Or monkey or buffalo calf
But a giraffe
I'll buy him really nice boots
The most elegant suits
And for costume parties he'll don a mysterious mask
My lovely giraffe, my lucky giraffe
He'll be waited on day and night by his own personal staff
Give me a giraffe, just look at this graph
Let X be my willingness Y be your kindness and Z be the great deeds all acted out on your behalf
On my giraffe
I don't want
a zebra or monkey
or panda or goat
not a weevil or weasel
or ferret or stoat
not a cat not a rat
not a bat not a lamb
not a mole not a bull
not a troll not a clam
not an antelope, parakeet
wallaby, dinosaur
kangaroo, platypus
wombat or Minotaur
not a squid
for sure not a kid
not a fully grown gerbil
or wee hippopotamus calf
Just a giraffe
And do not think that I'd settle
For a llama or a camel
I am longing
For a taller mammal
Hey John Schreiner
I'm talking to you
No turtle or bird will do
I want a giraffe
Give me a giraffe
I want a giraffe
I want a giraffe

[@robinking6796]

I think the line after 'not a fully grown gerbil' is 'or wee hippopotamus calf'

[@Bala_Niranna]

this is amazing