❤️ Get your copy of "Love After Heartbreak" here 👉 www.loveafterheartbreak.com 👈 this book is helping men and women heal from past hurt, and experience more peace and happiness.
Lakeyla forgive yourself for what you didn’t know then but know now. Like Maya Angelou said “When you know better you do better.” See it as an opportunity to have a different perspective now and gained wisdom
@Misty Rackley you’re not crazy hun. Ghost him, change your number, move out if you live together, kick him out if he lives with you, do whatever it is that you need to do in order to gain back your peace of mind. Once you trust yourself again you won’t even look at him the same. Life is too short to be unhappy and you’re just as worthy of peace and happiness as anyone else don’t let him trick you into feeling like you’re not worthy because of past mistakes. He is deflecting his own insecurities onto you. Run and don’t look back.
@Misty Rackley When someone threatens their life that's another level of unhealthy dysfunction to be taken very seriously. Life and death are not to be toyed with, please seek professional help by calling a crisis hotline for guidance and contact a woman's shelter for security and counselling. 💗
@Misty Rackley to me seeing as he doesn’t handle the trash the this and the that it seems as if he’s comfortable in the relationship and also he may be going through some type of a depression ...my gf of 3 yrs broke up with me and I was going thru a lot not paying attention not showing affection but I had a lot of issues I had to fix within myself and I came to the conclusion that maybe we just weren’t for each other I still love and miss her and even want her back sometimes but it’s best to leave if your not happy don’t stay and suffer bc at the end of the day u have to worry about yourself but I wish u luck maybe when u give him some space he will try and change and maybe you could make it work but either way I wish u the best
God fought for me so hard. He did not want me in a specific relationship. He kept intervening and kept allowing things to disrupt the flow of our relationship, but I kept ignoring them. But when I found out he was married, that's all I needed. I was heartbroken but I moved on bc I dont and will never entertain a married man. I'm thankful to God for removing me and fighting for me and showing me how much he loves me. This break-up was definitely a blessing!
Omg your story is almost word for word what recently happened to me. I'm so thankful God intervened before it got even worse and that you listened to Him
Smh. Whew! God tried so hard with me, but I kept justifying and making excuses. I’m still repenting for not being obedient. I ruined more years that I want to mention by not listening. Meanwhile, the man I was married to walks around unbothered by the damage that he’s done. Ultimately, I can only blame myself.😢
we shouldn't be attached to anything except our Creator. We need to be connected to His creations so when things don't workout we just disconnected from it and move on.
I went through a very hard breakup in March. Completely out of nowhere. So I went to work on myself. Destroyed myself to rebuild. I watched hours of videos like this, read books. Counseling. Gym. Writing, reading. Completely built someone new. This video, out of many of the videos I’ve watched has the most truth I’ve heard!!!! GREAT INSIGHT
So true... I kicked the bugger to the curb after trying to make it work. I know me and it took me 2 yrs to get back to basics and had to start trusting ME! I now have my Boaz!
If I really like a guy, and hear that he's recently out of a relationship, I try my hardest to stay away because I don't want to be the wrong choice based on his unhealed wounds. I get out of his way so he can heal and if the time and place is right, really choose me.
That is so wise and self honouring 😎💗 Who wants to be the rebound ?! Fixing and rebuilding his brokenness and then they bounce Once his wounded wing is mended he will fly away maybe return for another mending before taking his next flight
I'm a middle aged woman and was in a toxic relationship for four years. He was familiar and I was lonely. He was a no effort dude. No communication, very few dates. I could go on....
Wow. Never saw it like that. Unhealthy attachment. It throws everything off and hinders your progress. The breakup frees you. Had you stayed longer, more damage would have occurred. The quicker you can get out the better. Thank you for these gems, stephanspeaks
I absolutely love this. I am embracing this blessing and trusting the process. My breakup taught me so much and as much as it hurts, I’m excited about what’s to come. I’m opening my heart up to a higher power and healing every day. Sending love to anyone going through it. Trust the process. Trust God. Trust yourself. ❤️
I tell many of my couples and individual clients alike, NEVER beg or plead for someone to be with you, or to have sex with you. Self-love and respect is huge. Not always easy though, when your heart is involved. Showing you want and choose to be with someone, of course is crucial and should be implemented daily. Begging and pleading is fully different aspects!
So TRUE, same type in different wrapping, a wolf in sheep's clothing is still a wolf no matter what label their wearing. Can't judge a book by its cover
We choose the people just like us!!! I never understood what it meant when they say you attract what you are until God started my healing process from past hurts!!!
This is soo true.. I Stayed in a relationship for 8 yrs because that time I was so afraid to be alone and ignored all obvious red flags because I'm so blinded by "love". my ex end up cheating on me and got married 1 month after our break up.. I am now thankful that the relationship ended.. God knew that he had to remove him from my life and start over again before it's too late.. I'm still single but in no rush to find a new person. I've lost myself in that relationship and now I'm starting to Find me again
Loved every single word in this video, you’re so wise Stephan. I was in a toxic relationship for 5 years, I actually thought I was in love with him, i broke off the relationship nearly a year ago and it was the best thing I’ve ever done! I now feel HUGE relief from stepping away, and it’s given me time to heal and reflect on it. Although I’ve blocked him from every platform known to man he will occasionally still try to connect with me. But what’s different now it doesn’t faze me to stay silent and ignore instead of giving a response and going back to square one. The key is to certainly heal, without it the future won’t be as prosperous as it could be. I’m getting closer to god and praying several times daily. It was definitely a blessing in disguise!
Thank you!!! I needed to read this. I was stuck for 5 years too. And just yesterday I took steps to never look back again. You have made me excited for this newness!
Brave lady to jump ship. Well done. Keep trusting in God & doing the right thing. I broke up with mine 2 days ago after 3 years together, I'm very relieved & I have god's peace about it.
I stayed to long and lost myself. He treated me like a doormat and I took it, thank you for this video because I need constant reminders to keep moving forward.
You seriously give the best advice dude. Thank you so much. "The right person wrong time" definitely feels like the case with me and my most recent relationship ending. I feel like we'll be together again, we just have a lot of shit we need to work on for ourselves
Say no more Mr Stephan because you hit the nail on the head. My season of singleness has not only got me closer to God but has helped me heal in areas I didn't think we're still affecting me ❣️🙏💯👏🏿bravo!!
We both checked out emotionally long ago but were sticking it out going through the motions for all the wrong reasons. Breaking up allowed me to break free of the wrong person and set myself free. I simply surrendered and stopped justifying reasons to stay together and started realizing we’re better off apart. I accepted that he is a huge distraction that is hindering my purpose, holding me back, throwing me off course. I attached myself to the wrong person, trying to make it work when we just don’t fit. We can’t be what the other wants no matter how much we try. Endings are beginnings in disguise. Break ups allow you to be open to receive what truly resonates and releasing what no longer serves you. It’s ok to Let go
I'm sorry you feel that way.. I wish I knew I was holding you down. I thought I was giving you freedom. Guess I was wrong. Best of luck to you. Keep doing your thing. God works in mysterious ways. Im proud of you Bubba. There was some really good times..thank you for that.
The loss was your gain. Bingo amen!!! I’m 10 years being single since my last relationship nearly destroyed me. Thank god I’m a lot stronger now with eyes wide open! A wise friend said to me “Find an equal that parallels you”
Perfect timing! Moved 4000 miles away a week ago. He knew. He dumped me 2 days later. Still reaches out to me and I am staying silent. I know I haven’t healed f/my past. This is God saying stop and focus only on me. I know He will give me the desires of my heart but He wants me now. # 5 is my main priority in this valley I’m currently in. I’m gonna watch this everyday for awhile now. Thanks for the encouragement! 🙏🏿
But remember although hard it's harder staying if it's the wrong person...you are setting the example to your child what to tolerate and see as normal for when they grow up, kids follow what we do not what we say....xo
I feel you sis. I hope you can gather the strength to finally walk away. No rush, take the time you needed. But remember to always choose what is best for you and foe your child. We have to nurture ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally so that we could take care of our child properly. God is with us! 💓
So true..my ex choose his wife..never knew he was married..I learnt I swept the red flags under the carpet and my intuition..thank God he took me out..I have healed the wounds that was open.
My husband of 40 years left me 2 months ago. I have been beating myself up over not seeing the signs. I was blindsided by my ignorance. I am totally sad but never want him back again. I could never forgive him for the way that he just left without ever discussing it but my truth is that I am more calm and relieved that he is finally gone and I can finally get back to being myself and realizing my true potential with God's blessing
My friend and I just talked about this. She said how she didn’t see my ex and I ever breaking up. I told her at least 4 out of 5 of the reasons you mentioned were the reasons God had to end that relationship. This is like full circle/confirmation!
Suffered from years of depression because of unrequited love from someone who rejected me for someone else. Thankfully doing better and healed from that (did not date for rebound relationship until I healed), but Still struggling and haven't found "her" yet, even tho I've asked God why. But anyway Definitely appreciate this one bro fr. 💪🏾💯 you blessed to bless others like myself that have been impacted heavily by this topic. Thank you
Wow soo true! I’ve lost myself along the way, putting my ex above God , she literally controlled me ended up I put her on the pedestal. Many red flags 🚩 had been looked over, due to me convincing myself and wanting to be with my ex, but I realized it now. Thanks coach Stephen for making me realize these things
I did the same thing. I had to find myself and I am trying to stay out of the relationship with him but he keeps trying to figure out how to get me to work on it again.
I just got dumped and I’m feeling horrible but this isn’t my first breakup so I know in time I will heal. Thank you for this message I need this so much.
She was hindering my purpose; so was I it seems lol. I tried to make it work for as long as I did because I wasn’t living as my whole self. I had baggage. I hadn’t healed my wounds... Now that I understand where I went wrong, choosing a healthy partner won’t be a challenge after doing the work to heal to give my best self to the best woman. I thank the Lord that she out of the way and I pray for her.
Some relationship can truly stop ur purpose...I was struggling with my ex husband I mean having a couple hundreds and no back up plan...now his gone ceo of my own company I lack nothing and more self aware...I will never settle
I totally agree with healing before ever deciding the next partner. Currently I'm not even healed and got into a relationship knowing my mind wasn't in the right place and still isn't... I been second guessing the relationship and getting in horrible moods from the beginning til now. Im carrying baggage from a previous relationship to this one. I plan on just staying single cause I barely stay single for so long and my decision is to let this relationship go instead of staying for the sake of not hurting him.
I totally agree with you. In my case, he broke up with me saying I can't give you more, guess what, he moved on to someone else and is now in a serious committed relationship ??? WHAT was our 2yr relationship about ??? He is not even thinking about me ?? He doesn't know how much I am hurting 😢😢. You know how much it killed me knowing that he is so HAPPY with her and how quickly he moved on !!! It's not fair !!! She took my place 😢😢😢. Please help me fight through this pain. ❤❤ you !
Lee Maclennan, start by loving yourself more, putting yourself first, get closer to God by channeling all you emotions, hurts and pains on Him. God will help you just ask Him to give you the strength to endure. This too shall pass. I know exactly what you’re going through. Be strong.
He isn't happy. Its just to hurt you. Pick your head up and let it go. Love God, love on yourself, better yourself and watch how God will bless you with who will love you how God designed for us to be loved.
I can tell you from experience love, it’s a front! He is not happy., and the same way he did to you she will do to him. He will see how you felt. Rejection is God protection! Focus on loving yourself. I promise you that things will get better for you! The more love you put into yourself ( people will notice) and then love will come to you in all shapes and forms. Praying for you 🙏🏾, this too shall pass🥰
@Lee you've got to be strong darling. See God loves you very much enough to take you out of the relationship now. Cry, but make sure you don't wallow in self pity. Don't rush the healing process, one day at a time. Let the Holy Spirit help you. Work on being the best version of yourself. You will hurt a lot for a while...but this pain you feel now will go away. God loves you! Be strong.
@@manifestationofgod1379 Erica is absolutely correct. And he is thinking about you. You can't be with a person that long and not think about the break up, how it was handled, what was said and so on. It hurts like him, but at least it's not 10 years from now. Heal yourself and find someone that knows and treats you at your value. Best wishes.
I truly believe the lady who broke up with me 1 month ago I was the right guy for her wrong time as she wanted casual and I wanted more. She has a messy divorce coming up soon as well, hurts still as she was the only lady who I met not through a dating app and she had liked me for months. Part of me hope she is the one down the road, never met someone who we had so much in common with it was crazy. I made a few mistakes early on that I feel pushed me out the door.
Thank you so much Stephan, I needed this message today. Many of your messages have been centered to me lately. I just ended a toxic relationship. It was basically toxic from week 3 and continued to be so over these last 5 months. I do agree that this break up is a blessing. I was so emotionally invested that it was making me physically sick and unhappy. I already feel a sense of relief. I don't hate him and I will continue to pray for him but I don't want to damage myself anymore then I already have. I don't know what will come from this but I do know that we both need to grow more. I wish him well. 🙏🏽
This hit me hard. I have been separated from my husband for 2 years. After praying, the analogy of Isaac and Abraham came to mind. While God had given me my husband as a gift, I eventually elevated him over God in my priorities. We took God out of the first place in our marriage, and it was taken away. Never again will I pit anyone over my Father. Not my boyfriend, not my husband, not even my children. If He is not first in my life, none of the other things will align. Thank you Stephen for reaffirming what was placed in my heart.
I truly agree . I have been married for 12 years of toxicity, infidelity, and kept holding on trying to make it work and something horrible happened that led me to let go . I was so hurt over it but I realize now that God had to do it this way because I would have stayed and not move and just completely lose my identity and self worth. It’s only been 3 weeks, I’m still healing, however each day is better, I can see with clarity and building a closer relationship with God.
The minute he said “you were never going to leave without it” I instantly got sad.. that hit me way too hard because I know that’s me. I knew I needed to leave but I couldn’t because I was so attached. No, I wasn’t going to pull the trigger because I was too scared to let go of something I knew was bad for me to begin with.. after two years of being with him I’m forced to let go and I’m feeling okay with that right now and it’s crazy because I didn’t even look for this video, it was in my suggested
I'm going through a deep depression right now. This helps me a little. I was ghosted by a guy that I was talking to for a month. I found my voice and said I wanted consistent calls and texts. He went missing.
Thank u for this video.. just went through a difficult break up n I’m just figuring myself out for once.. at one point when we were together I forgot who I was n what my purpose was. I guess God had told me to leave the guy cuz he had seen me hurting n crying when he wouldn’t call me or text me for 2-3 days.. so this is a blessing for me from God n he sent u to me to listen to this message to heal n be strong..
13 years into our relationship and 6 yrs into our marriage, my narcissistic ex couldn’t figure out the life he “wanted” vs. the life he “needed”. A third party came into the picture and he had the audacity to tell me he couldn’t help but notice that things weren’t the same with us. Like duhhh, because this is no longer a 2 people party, but 3. I walked and let me tell ya, it was the best decision I made. The law of Reciprocity is real y’all. Walk away when God is opening the door for you. Believe the signs he’s showing you. The pain of “losing” a relationship that didn’t value your relationship the same way you did wasn’t a loss, it was a gain. Walk away and love yourself.
This is true!!! After my break up, I felt I am healed about my attachment style. And now I can establish my boundaries and standard to a man or those who pursue me. I recognize the red and green flags. I can choose which or who's one aligns with my value, worth, and belief.
Wonderful. I broke up with guy recently so I could live out gods purpose for my life. Best decision I could have made. Thank you ❤ from Australia. Jocelyn.
Growth needs to occur in both sides! I learned this. I literally had to reevaluate myself. I made it harder in myself and the relationship. #holdmyselfaccountable 🙏🏼❤️ The last part hit hard! I literally had to detox my heart & soul & realize I was the toxic one. Thank you ♥️
I love you. May God bless me to find a man with your mind frame and stature. Keep doing what your doing. You have helped me in my healing process in such a major way. Thank you.
You definitely said or described what I’m actually going through. Half of me says to move on, but half says to not. At this moment, I’m on not, but just watching your video, I guess I should move on with my life. Thank you 🙏 for making this amazing video!! God bless you.
I'm the one that broke up..however, I miss him terribly 😔 he always neglected my needs and never made effort. I know I need to move on. Why do we still love the people who treated us so badly?
I was abandoned, lied to, and cheated on and then despite trying to stay to work it out I kept getting reminders and triggers that he would never change I HAD to leave. I know God has better
I was recently in a controlling relationship that lasted 7 weeks. I realized just how controlling he was after about 5 weeks and I spent 2 weeks deciding how I was gonna get out. I ended it days ago and I feel great about my decision. This video validates that I made the best decision for my life. Thank you.
As a man i understand everything he is saying i have lived through everything he is saying and this is all true when hung up in a toxic relation ship you woll never prosper in anything you do and will make you stand still in life and achieve nothing
I took a two year sabbatical after an abusive relationship. I didn't date, or take a man's number. I wanted to fully understand how and when did it change. I figured it out and now I leave a relationship earlier than before. If I get a mere whiff of what went wrong I'm gone. I've dodged a lot of bullets thus far. Putting our relationship before my relationship with Jehovah God was another big no no that I did. Loved that he brought that up.
You're right bro. I am glad I got away from this toxic woman. She for sure would of ruined my life if I would of stayed or had kids with her. Im a little upset and hurt because she really did some evil sabotage shxx to me towards the end but, time and God will help me heal soon.✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿🙏🏿🤷🏿♂️.
So true! I went from one marriage right into the next, then from that marriage right into a long term relationship. I have not been alone in over 25 years. I am breaking off my relationship now so I can take that time to heal! Great message, I identify with so many of the things you said!
Oh I'm cried right now you know he ghosted me I was with him 9 years it was the worst relationship I hung on no living family kids grown, family and I was so bad and he was nothing he didn't work to anything in the first reading this that I've been going to this almost a year and I couldn't understand why and so many better things have happened I believe we got it I'm just crying out because I see it I always was wrong with me that I stayed with him and thank you so much thank you so much God bless you
when i went into this relationship i had no experiences of how people are how relationships works what were my values now that im out of it im completely a different person now im in position of making aware choices
Omg, YES! I definitely was in a relationship and situationship where I was putting the guys before God!!! I was not recognizing that I did it until everything ended. And as I looked back, I realized that I wasn’t going to church as much or even volunteering like I normally did. The other point about not walking in your purpose is spot on. I just started doing that this year and I am single and focused on myself. Even though the break up was horrible I needed this time to heal and really rebuild my relationship with God and start doing things that He needed me to do! Great video!!
@Joys Pedro1 God doesn't have a phone number! In other words, there is none more powerful than GOD and you should never want someone back, that left you. Good luck with that though! 🙌🏽
I know this Breakup was a Blessing in disguise because he verbally and emotionally abused me. It is a lesson I have to learn and I'm happy to grow from it, it's not easy but it will be worth it. I know I will come out stronger and I will look back and be thankful that I chose to grow and not wallow in self-pity.
Yesss....listened to the rest of video: yes, I DID prioritized this guy and our relationship above God, and there was always an internal struggle in me about that, and this guy did not seem to mind that we were both doing that even though he was a "Christian" too. If i would have been staying close to God, I would not have allowed myself to get in so deep with ungodly behaviors with him the first place. I am very grateful for all that God has shown me through this painful experience, I know staying close to God, I will not allow myself to be led astray again.
I needed to hear this I'm going through a break up Now we had our toxic moments but he had kids and I had kids and it's been exactly a week since he left tomorrow and it's been horrible, emotionally, and mentally But I'm going to trust God on this
I can listen to you, read your books over and over. I do your such a blessing to me going through my breakup, I've accomplished alot self love and healing. God bless you keep them coming Stephan 🙏🏾 💙
THIS GUYYY nah he speaking too much facts pls this is literally the best thing i’ve heard and i’m being real. When he mentioned God bro that struck a bell. Thank you sir for this advice literally- i’m young but i’m learning ❤️!
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❤️ Get your copy of "Love After Heartbreak" here 👉 www.loveafterheartbreak.com 👈 this book is helping men and women heal from past hurt, and experience more peace and happiness.
I have read it already, will buy other of your great positions🙌🙌💚
When I had my first heartbreak . My grandma would say .... don’t cry because it’s over ,, smile because it happened ..........
Counting our Blessings turns our frown upside down
Same ❤️😇
Anthony...AMEN TO YOUR GRANDMA!!!! When I look back at my last break up, I cried for a few days, but now I smile 😊.
grandmas usually say the visest stuff
@@casperinsight3524 to 6uu75
Rejection is gods protection 🙏🏻😇🙏🏻
Kashka Kent I love that .... I will roll with that saying for sure. Very positive.
AMEN!!!!!🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙌🏿👐🏿👏🏾
I had to learn this..I’m so blessed when someone disappears..I know that is God’s protection. So blessed.
Great quote..
Amen! Love this quote.
Yes, attaching to the wrong person is what kills relationships.
Agreed
True
True
You can never be right for the wrong person.
@@jckasugatan6810 exactly
If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have chased after a man who didn't want me... because now im so glad it happened.
going through this..where actions dont match words. 🙏🏻 I needed this video..
Exactly going through this right now with a straight trash dude he never cares about what I need or how I feel at all I'm always in tears afterwards
@@tinaalderson3733 yes...narcissistic individuals. I know where you are coming from. prayers Tina! we will get through this
@bigjayking24 trust me I'm done being stupid and watching these self help video's is the right therapy I need
Lakeyla forgive yourself for what you didn’t know then but know now. Like Maya Angelou said “When you know better you do better.” See it as an opportunity to have a different perspective now and gained wisdom
Note to self: Keep healing
Me to 😫😫😫
Yessss!
All you can do! Easy to get stuck in dwelling but time, healing, and self reflection is so needed
I needed tht.ty
@@pc8176 Contact doctor Uguel he will help you
Number one reason ..you were NEVER going to leave without them leaving first 💕 sooo true
💥🎯💥🎯💥🎯
Me ✋
Me me!
so do i
This happened to me lol I’m so glad God removed him from my life ✌🏾❤️
You are so right. As a therapist, I see a lot of toxic,dysfunctional couples who stay together because they are scared to be alone.
It's disgusting ik glad I left before I was ready to vomit looking at that persons face LOL.
@Misty Rackley you’re not crazy hun. Ghost him, change your number, move out if you live together, kick him out if he lives with you, do whatever it is that you need to do in order to gain back your peace of mind. Once you trust yourself again you won’t even look at him the same. Life is too short to be unhappy and you’re just as worthy of peace and happiness as anyone else don’t let him trick you into feeling like you’re not worthy because of past mistakes. He is deflecting his own insecurities onto you. Run and don’t look back.
Change can feel strange but its a catalyst to move forward
@Misty Rackley When someone threatens their life that's another level of unhealthy dysfunction to be taken very seriously. Life and death are not to be toyed with, please seek professional help by calling a crisis hotline for guidance and contact a woman's shelter for security and counselling. 💗
@Misty Rackley to me seeing as he doesn’t handle the trash the this and the that it seems as if he’s comfortable in the relationship and also he may be going through some type of a depression ...my gf of 3 yrs broke up with me and I was going thru a lot not paying attention not showing affection but I had a lot of issues I had to fix within myself and I came to the conclusion that maybe we just weren’t for each other I still love and miss her and even want her back sometimes but it’s best to leave if your not happy don’t stay and suffer bc at the end of the day u have to worry about yourself but I wish u luck maybe when u give him some space he will try and change and maybe you could make it work but either way I wish u the best
God fought for me so hard. He did not want me in a specific relationship. He kept intervening and kept allowing things to disrupt the flow of our relationship, but I kept ignoring them. But when I found out he was married, that's all I needed. I was heartbroken but I moved on bc I dont and will never entertain a married man. I'm thankful to God for removing me and fighting for me and showing me how much he loves me. This break-up was definitely a blessing!
Omg your story is almost word for word what recently happened to me. I'm so thankful God intervened before it got even worse and that you listened to Him
Smh. Whew! God tried so hard with me, but I kept justifying and making excuses. I’m still repenting for not being obedient. I ruined more years that I want to mention by not listening. Meanwhile, the man I was married to walks around unbothered by the damage that he’s done. Ultimately, I can only blame myself.😢
@@xoxo-vp7ww WOW!!!! I experienced that and now still trying to understand it all. Healing takes time
Entertaining married men is a slippery slope best avoided ✌
@@iluvhugh329 this just happened to me also ,I was so HURT I tried to take my life😔
Wow "An unhealthy attachment" never thought of it that way .
Me either
we shouldn't be attached to anything except our Creator. We need to be connected to His creations so when things don't workout we just disconnected from it and move on.
@@Amy623 That's a good word
Great one! & we can not worship our relationship over God
OMG so true! 🕊️
@Joys Pedro1 we don't care about your magic, because that doesn't last. Eventually, even you will find yourself in a humbling moment. 🕊️
Agree... I need a good woman frfr...
God first.
This was good brother, Sometimes God will remove someone that isn't leading you to him and more focus on the relationship.
This is so true brother
Amen brother 🙏 🙌
Amen.
Very true!
Amen
This is so true! Choosing the wrong mate can literally throw off your timing with other things. Let go so you can move forward ❤️
Misalignment with the wrong person keeps you from aligning with the right person
I already did that...wasted years and time
I went through a very hard breakup in March. Completely out of nowhere. So I went to work on myself. Destroyed myself to rebuild. I watched hours of videos like this, read books. Counseling. Gym. Writing, reading. Completely built someone new. This video, out of many of the videos I’ve watched has the most truth I’ve heard!!!! GREAT INSIGHT
Wow, thank you for these tips. Destroy yourself to rebuild you!!!
Hits deep!!!
How are you now?
A mans rejection, is Gods Protection.
Ur right but remember the coin has 2 sides also women
Rejection is a REdirection ✌
Yes So True.
IT SURE IS YESSSS🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Something's are not meant to be. Everything got expiration date and some people come in your as a lessons.
Right!!!
So true... I kicked the bugger to the curb after trying to make it work. I know me and it took me 2 yrs to get back to basics and had to start trusting ME! I now have my Boaz!
Awesome! Happy for you!!
Amen sis I'll be giving my testimony soon.
Aww wonderful
This is my 6th time listing to this video. A year since the break up it is finally making sense. Thanks Stephan!
I'm happy this has been helpful to you and I pray that you heal all you have been through 🙏
If I really like a guy, and hear that he's recently out of a relationship, I try my hardest to stay away because I don't want to be the wrong choice based on his unhealed wounds. I get out of his way so he can heal and if the time and place is right, really choose me.
Yes,I heard someone say,don't wake your Adam before his time!
I'm in this situation right. I'm trying to get out the way
That is so wise and self honouring 😎💗
Who wants to be the rebound ?! Fixing and rebuilding his brokenness and then they bounce
Once his wounded wing is mended he will fly away
maybe return for another mending before taking his next flight
I felt that. Putting that man above GOD!!! Wrong move
Learnt this the hard way
Me too I recently learned the hard way....our God is a jealous God!
I learned this the hard way as well 😩💕🙏🏾
Me too
I'm a middle aged woman and was in a toxic relationship for four years. He was familiar and I was lonely. He was a no effort dude. No communication, very few dates. I could go on....
I admire your self-awareness.
More power to you.
This was me!
Me for 30 yrs
Amen same situation and im learning why i let it go on and just healing
@@kristiw1850 It's ok. You WILL come out on top of this. Be kind and compassionate to yourself.
Wow. Never saw it like that. Unhealthy attachment. It throws everything off and hinders your progress. The breakup frees you. Had you stayed longer, more damage would have occurred. The quicker you can get out the better. Thank you for these gems, stephanspeaks
IKR, words of wisdom 👌 pure Gold
❤
@@casperinsight3524 yess🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
@@deanvo503 ♥️🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Yes! A break up from a toxic person...feel like a breakthrough!
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
I absolutely love this. I am embracing this blessing and trusting the process. My breakup taught me so much and as much as it hurts, I’m excited about what’s to come. I’m opening my heart up to a higher power and healing every day. Sending love to anyone going through it. Trust the process. Trust God. Trust yourself. ❤️
Thank you for this I really needed this
I tell many of my couples and individual clients alike, NEVER beg or plead for someone to be with you, or to have sex with you. Self-love and respect is huge. Not always easy though, when your heart is involved. Showing you want and choose to be with someone, of course is crucial and should be implemented daily. Begging and pleading is fully different aspects!
Oh my. That was me for last few years
Well said
Looking good & healthy. When ppl hasn’t heal they continue to date the same type of person.. he/she just come in different disguise but the same
So TRUE, same type in different wrapping, a wolf in sheep's clothing is still a wolf no matter what label their wearing. Can't judge a book by its cover
We choose the people just like us!!! I never understood what it meant when they say you attract what you are until God started my healing process from past hurts!!!
Like attracts like, water seeks its own level until you UPlevel and raise your standards. Never settle
This is soo true.. I Stayed in a relationship for 8 yrs because that time I was so afraid to be alone and ignored all obvious red flags because I'm so blinded by "love". my ex end up cheating on me and got married 1 month after our break up.. I am now thankful that the relationship ended.. God knew that he had to remove him from my life and start over again before it's too late.. I'm still single but in no rush to find a new person. I've lost myself in that relationship and now I'm starting to Find me again
Loved every single word in this video, you’re so wise Stephan. I was in a toxic relationship for 5 years, I actually thought I was in love with him, i broke off the relationship nearly a year ago and it was the best thing I’ve ever done! I now feel HUGE relief from stepping away, and it’s given me time to heal and reflect on it. Although I’ve blocked him from every platform known to man he will occasionally still try to connect with me. But what’s different now it doesn’t faze me to stay silent and ignore instead of giving a response and going back to square one. The key is to certainly heal, without it the future won’t be as prosperous as it could be. I’m getting closer to god and praying several times daily. It was definitely a blessing in disguise!
Thank you!!! I needed to read this. I was stuck for 5 years too. And just yesterday I took steps to never look back again. You have made me excited for this newness!
Shawné Amazing! Happy to hear my experience helped you & you had the courage to walk away, the only way is up from here, you got this!
@@shanaymumfd1 same!!
Brave lady to jump ship. Well done. Keep trusting in God & doing the right thing. I broke up with mine 2 days ago after 3 years together, I'm very relieved & I have god's peace about it.
It's codependency facts Stephen I wish more men were like you😍
I stayed to long and lost myself. He treated me like a doormat and I took it, thank you for this video because I need constant reminders to keep moving forward.
You seriously give the best advice dude. Thank you so much.
"The right person wrong time" definitely feels like the case with me and my most recent relationship ending. I feel like we'll be together again, we just have a lot of shit we need to work on for ourselves
What happened
Did you guys got back together
Say no more Mr Stephan because you hit the nail on the head. My season of singleness has not only got me closer to God but has helped me heal in areas I didn't think we're still affecting me ❣️🙏💯👏🏿bravo!!
♡
We both checked out emotionally long ago but were sticking it out going through the motions for all the wrong reasons.
Breaking up allowed me to break free of the wrong person and set myself free. I simply surrendered and stopped justifying reasons to stay together and started realizing we’re better off apart. I accepted that he is a huge distraction that is hindering my purpose, holding me back, throwing me off course. I attached myself to the wrong person, trying to make it work when we just don’t fit. We can’t be what the other wants no matter how much we try. Endings are beginnings in disguise. Break ups allow you to be open to receive what truly resonates and releasing what no longer serves you. It’s ok to Let go
I'm sorry you feel that way.. I wish I knew I was holding you down. I thought I was giving you freedom. Guess I was wrong. Best of luck to you. Keep doing your thing. God works in mysterious ways. Im proud of you Bubba. There was some really good times..thank you for that.
The loss was your gain. Bingo amen!!! I’m 10 years being single since my last relationship nearly destroyed me. Thank god I’m a lot stronger now with eyes wide open! A wise friend said to me “Find an equal that parallels you”
👌💥🎯😎💗
Perfect timing! Moved 4000 miles away a week ago. He knew. He dumped me 2 days later. Still reaches out to me and I am staying silent. I know I haven’t healed f/my past. This is God saying stop and focus only on me. I know He will give me the desires of my heart but He wants me now. # 5 is my main priority in this valley I’m currently in. I’m gonna watch this everyday for awhile now. Thanks for the encouragement! 🙏🏿
It’s so hard when you have a child.😩
But remember although hard it's harder staying if it's the wrong person...you are setting the example to your child what to tolerate and see as normal for when they grow up, kids follow what we do not what we say....xo
I feel you sis. I hope you can gather the strength to finally walk away. No rush, take the time you needed. But remember to always choose what is best for you and foe your child. We have to nurture ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally so that we could take care of our child properly. God is with us! 💓
OMG yess
So true..my ex choose his wife..never knew he was married..I learnt I swept the red flags under the carpet and my intuition..thank God he took me out..I have healed the wounds that was open.
My husband of 40 years left me 2 months ago. I have been beating myself up over not seeing the signs. I was blindsided by my ignorance. I am totally sad but never want him back again. I could never forgive him for the way that he just left without ever discussing it but my truth is that I am more calm and relieved that he is finally gone and I can finally get back to being myself and realizing my true potential with God's blessing
My friend and I just talked about this. She said how she didn’t see my ex and I ever breaking up. I told her at least 4 out of 5 of the reasons you mentioned were the reasons God had to end that relationship.
This is like full circle/confirmation!
Suffered from years of depression because of unrequited love from someone who rejected me for someone else. Thankfully doing better and healed from that (did not date for rebound relationship until I healed), but Still struggling and haven't found "her" yet, even tho I've asked God why. But anyway Definitely appreciate this one bro fr. 💪🏾💯 you blessed to bless others like myself that have been impacted heavily by this topic. Thank you
Wow soo true! I’ve lost myself along the way, putting my ex above God , she literally controlled me ended up I put her on the pedestal. Many red flags 🚩 had been looked over, due to me convincing myself and wanting to be with my ex, but I realized it now. Thanks coach Stephen for making me realize these things
Happy for you
Note To Self: Don't let a toxic relationship hinder my purpose, slow down my progress and prevent me from prospering!!!..Focused!
truth.. but im still on the pedestal..
I’ve been through a divorce. It’s the second best thing that ever happened to me!
Wow, expound please, thank you
Are you against marriage now?
Tranquility no. I love marriage
Yvonne Transformer I explain in my RUclips videos. Check them out
@@ScaryToRemarry oh ok. Are you married now
Every time I watch these I feel like I’m watching sermons. lol, so good.
This is the spirit of God speaking thru you.
This breakup hurts so baddd.. this pain is crazy
Yes he was holding me back so I decided to remove my self
I did the same thing. I had to find myself and I am trying to stay out of the relationship with him but he keeps trying to figure out how to get me to work on it again.
Praise God for saving me 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
I just got dumped and I’m feeling horrible but this isn’t my first breakup so I know in time I will heal. Thank you for this message I need this so much.
She was hindering my purpose; so was I it seems lol.
I tried to make it work for as long as I did because I wasn’t living as my whole self. I had baggage. I hadn’t healed my wounds... Now that I understand where I went wrong, choosing a healthy partner won’t be a challenge after doing the work to heal to give my best self to the best woman.
I thank the Lord that she out of the way and I pray for her.
“Hindering your purpose...”
I feel this.
Some relationship can truly stop ur purpose...I was struggling with my ex husband I mean having a couple hundreds and no back up plan...now his gone ceo of my own company I lack nothing and more self aware...I will never settle
I totally agree with healing before ever deciding the next partner. Currently I'm not even healed and got into a relationship knowing my mind wasn't in the right place and still isn't... I been second guessing the relationship and getting in horrible moods from the beginning til now. Im carrying baggage from a previous relationship to this one. I plan on just staying single cause I barely stay single for so long and my decision is to let this relationship go instead of staying for the sake of not hurting him.
I totally agree with you. In my case, he broke up with me saying I can't give you more, guess what, he moved on to someone else and is now in a serious committed relationship ??? WHAT was our 2yr relationship about ??? He is not even thinking about me ?? He doesn't know how much I am hurting 😢😢. You know how much it killed me knowing that he is so HAPPY with her and how quickly he moved on !!! It's not fair !!! She took my place 😢😢😢. Please help me fight through this pain. ❤❤ you !
Lee Maclennan, start by loving yourself more, putting yourself first, get closer to God by channeling all you emotions, hurts and pains on Him. God will help you just ask Him to give you the strength to endure. This too shall pass. I know exactly what you’re going through. Be strong.
He isn't happy. Its just to hurt you. Pick your head up and let it go. Love God, love on yourself, better yourself and watch how God will bless you with who will love you how God designed for us to be loved.
I can tell you from experience love, it’s a front! He is not happy., and the same way he did to you she will do to him. He will see how you felt. Rejection is God protection! Focus on loving yourself. I promise you that things will get better for you! The more love you put into yourself ( people will notice) and then love will come to you in all shapes and forms. Praying for you 🙏🏾, this too shall pass🥰
@Lee you've got to be strong darling. See God loves you very much enough to take you out of the relationship now.
Cry, but make sure you don't wallow in self pity. Don't rush the healing process, one day at a time. Let the Holy Spirit help you. Work on being the best version of yourself. You will hurt a lot for a while...but this pain you feel now will go away. God loves you! Be strong.
@@manifestationofgod1379 Erica is absolutely correct. And he is thinking about you. You can't be with a person that long and not think about the break up, how it was handled, what was said and so on.
It hurts like him, but at least it's not 10 years from now. Heal yourself and find someone that knows and treats you at your value. Best wishes.
Omg I realized I put him over God and didn’t know it before even watching this video and this re-confirmed EVERYTHING I being revealed to me.
Amen. Life is too short to settle and hold on to a relationship that's no longer working out. It's better to let go to go on and grow great.
I truly believe the lady who broke up with me 1 month ago I was the right guy for her wrong time as she wanted casual and I wanted more. She has a messy divorce coming up soon as well, hurts still as she was the only lady who I met not through a dating app and she had liked me for months. Part of me hope she is the one down the road, never met someone who we had so much in common with it was crazy. I made a few mistakes early on that I feel pushed me out the door.
So positive. I could not look at break ups this way. Its better to be alone than with the wrong person.
" break up is necessary to break you free " that's it for me 👌👌👌👌
Thank you so much Stephan, I needed this message today. Many of your messages have been centered to me lately. I just ended a toxic relationship. It was basically toxic from week 3 and continued to be so over these last 5 months. I do agree that this break up is a blessing. I was so emotionally invested that it was making me physically sick and unhappy. I already feel a sense of relief. I don't hate him and I will continue to pray for him but I don't want to damage myself anymore then I already have. I don't know what will come from this but I do know that we both need to grow more. I wish him well. 🙏🏽
Nakeia Simpson thank god you we’re strong enough to to cut ties. Praise God. Keep healing😻
@@Teatea4L Thank you!😊💖🙏🏽
Better 5 months than 5 years😅😎 When you know you go sooner than later✌
This hit me hard. I have been separated from my husband for 2 years. After praying, the analogy of Isaac and Abraham came to mind. While God had given me my husband as a gift, I eventually elevated him over God in my priorities. We took God out of the first place in our marriage, and it was taken away.
Never again will I pit anyone over my Father. Not my boyfriend, not my husband, not even my children. If He is not first in my life, none of the other things will align.
Thank you Stephen for reaffirming what was placed in my heart.
Our Elohim is not the author of confusion, but of peace....1 Cor. 14:33. Thanks for the encouraging word!
I truly agree . I have been married for 12 years of toxicity, infidelity, and kept holding on trying to make it work and something horrible happened that led me to let go . I was so hurt over it but I realize now that God had to do it this way because I would have stayed and not move and just completely lose my identity and self worth. It’s only been 3 weeks, I’m still healing, however each day is better, I can see with clarity and building a closer relationship with God.
U are right God comes first No other God before him Amen
The minute he said “you were never going to leave without it” I instantly got sad.. that hit me way too hard because I know that’s me. I knew I needed to leave but I couldn’t because I was so attached. No, I wasn’t going to pull the trigger because I was too scared to let go of something I knew was bad for me to begin with.. after two years of being with him I’m forced to let go and I’m feeling okay with that right now and it’s crazy because I didn’t even look for this video, it was in my suggested
I'm going through a deep depression right now. This helps me a little. I was ghosted by a guy that I was talking to for a month. I found my voice and said I wanted consistent calls and texts. He went missing.
Thank u for this video.. just went through a difficult break up n I’m just figuring myself out for once.. at one point when we were together I forgot who I was n what my purpose was. I guess God had told me to leave the guy cuz he had seen me hurting n crying when he wouldn’t call me or text me for 2-3 days.. so this is a blessing for me from God n he sent u to me to listen to this message to heal n be strong..
13 years into our relationship and 6 yrs into our marriage, my narcissistic ex couldn’t figure out the life he “wanted” vs. the life he “needed”. A third party came into the picture and he had the audacity to tell me he couldn’t help but notice that things weren’t the same with us. Like duhhh, because this is no longer a 2 people party, but 3. I walked and let me tell ya, it was the best decision I made. The law of Reciprocity is real y’all. Walk away when God is opening the door for you. Believe the signs he’s showing you. The pain of “losing” a relationship that didn’t value your relationship the same way you did wasn’t a loss, it was a gain. Walk away and love yourself.
This is true!!!
After my break up, I felt I am healed about my attachment style. And now I can establish my boundaries and standard to a man or those who pursue me. I recognize the red and green flags. I can choose which or who's one aligns with my value, worth, and belief.
Wonderful. I broke up with guy recently so I could live out gods purpose for my life. Best decision I could have made. Thank you ❤ from Australia. Jocelyn.
Growth needs to occur in both sides! I learned this. I literally had to reevaluate myself. I made it harder in myself and the relationship. #holdmyselfaccountable 🙏🏼❤️ The last part hit hard! I literally had to detox my heart & soul & realize I was the toxic one. Thank you ♥️
I love you. May God bless me to find a man with your mind frame and stature. Keep doing what your doing. You have helped me in my healing process in such a major way. Thank you.
You definitely said or described what I’m actually going through. Half of me says to move on, but half says to not. At this moment, I’m on not, but just watching your video, I guess I should move on with my life. Thank you 🙏 for making this amazing video!! God bless you.
Cognitive dissonance and trauma bonding kept me stuck longer than I care to admit but it can be overcome , there is hope
@@casperinsight3524 🙏
I'm the one that broke up..however, I miss him terribly 😔 he always neglected my needs and never made effort. I know I need to move on. Why do we still love the people who treated us so badly?
This is on REPEAT!!! Thank you. Like, legit. Out here doing the Lord’s work. 🙌🏼
I was abandoned, lied to, and cheated on and then despite trying to stay to work it out I kept getting reminders and triggers that he would never change I HAD to leave. I know God has better
I was recently in a controlling relationship that lasted 7 weeks. I realized just how controlling he was after about 5 weeks and I spent 2 weeks deciding how I was gonna get out. I ended it days ago and I feel great about my decision. This video validates that I made the best decision for my life. Thank you.
Better 7 weeks than 7 years ✌😎
As a man i understand everything he is saying i have lived through everything he is saying and this is all true when hung up in a toxic relation ship you woll never prosper in anything you do and will make you stand still in life and achieve nothing
You definitely had me at the first one.
It definitely was a blessing and definitely an unhealthy attachment.
I took a two year sabbatical after an abusive relationship. I didn't date, or take a man's number. I wanted to fully understand how and when did it change. I figured it out and now I leave a relationship earlier than before. If I get a mere whiff of what went wrong I'm gone. I've dodged a lot of bullets thus far. Putting our relationship before my relationship with Jehovah God was another big no no that I did. Loved that he brought that up.
3 years of on and off and 1 yr of living together to realize I deserve better..
You're right bro. I am glad I got away from this toxic woman. She for sure would of ruined my life if I would of stayed or had kids with her. Im a little upset and hurt because she really did some evil sabotage shxx to me towards the end but, time and God will help me heal soon.✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿🙏🏿🤷🏿♂️.
So true! I went from one marriage right into the next, then from that marriage right into a long term relationship. I have not been alone in over 25 years. I am breaking off my relationship now so I can take that time to heal! Great message, I identify with so many of the things you said!
Oh I'm cried right now you know he ghosted me I was with him 9 years it was the worst relationship I hung on no living family kids grown, family and I was so bad and he was nothing he didn't work to anything in the first reading this that I've been going to this almost a year and I couldn't understand why and so many better things have happened I believe we got it I'm just crying out because I see it I always was wrong with me that I stayed with him and thank you so much thank you so much God bless you
Real talk!! Love yourself 1st!!
I'm Loving myself so much & God is BLESSING ME!!! HALLELUJAH Thank you Father!!❤💯
when i went into this relationship i had no experiences of how people are how relationships works what were my values now that im out of it im completely a different person now im in position of making aware choices
Omg, YES! I definitely was in a relationship and situationship where I was putting the guys before God!!! I was not recognizing that I did it until everything ended. And as I looked back, I realized that I wasn’t going to church as much or even volunteering like I normally did. The other point about not walking in your purpose is spot on. I just started doing that this year and I am single and focused on myself. Even though the break up was horrible I needed this time to heal and really rebuild my relationship with God and start doing things that He needed me to do! Great video!!
Wow brotha! You are right, everyone isnt supposed to be in out lives because they can interfere with our purpose. This is deep!!!! 🫡 salute!
"I will give you the BEST but I MUST COME FIRST"
I felt this to my core! And I love the longer videos too!
@Joys Pedro1 God doesn't have a phone number! In other words, there is none more powerful than GOD and you should never want someone back, that left you. Good luck with that though! 🙌🏽
My heart is hurting but I’m moving on . Love this message
I love these longer videos Stephan, always giving us food for thought.....EVERY...SINGLE...TIME...Loveeeee uuuuuu!!!
I know this Breakup was a Blessing in disguise because he verbally and emotionally abused me. It is a lesson I have to learn and I'm happy to grow from it, it's not easy but it will be worth it. I know I will come out stronger and I will look back and be thankful that I chose to grow and not wallow in self-pity.
A breakup is a blessing, I'm seeing it through for myself now!
Yesss....listened to the rest of video: yes, I DID prioritized this guy and our relationship above God, and there was always an internal struggle in me about that, and this guy did not seem to mind that we were both doing that even though he was a "Christian" too. If i would have been staying close to God, I would not have allowed myself to get in so deep with ungodly behaviors with him the first place. I am very grateful for all that God has shown me through this painful experience, I know staying close to God, I will not allow myself to be led astray again.
I just want to say! God bless you for this message! I needed it for me to be able to make to move on from relationships with 2 kids
I needed to hear this I'm going through a break up Now we had our toxic moments but he had kids and I had kids and it's been exactly a week since he left tomorrow and it's been horrible, emotionally, and mentally But I'm going to trust God on this
Facts this one hits home for me
Yes
What this guy is saying is the truth cant belive it every word he says is the truth
I can listen to you, read your books over and over. I do your such a blessing to me going through my breakup, I've accomplished alot self love and healing. God bless you keep them coming Stephan 🙏🏾 💙
THIS GUYYY nah he speaking too much facts pls this is literally the best thing i’ve heard and i’m being real. When he mentioned God bro that struck a bell. Thank you sir for this advice literally- i’m young but i’m learning ❤️!