2 Years of BJJ & He’s Still Scared to Roll (How to Conquer Anxiety)
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- Опубликовано: 9 фев 2025
- Today's we've got a question from a follower who we'll call "Bob".
Bob say's that it's a bit embarrassing but sends it anyways.
Bob has been training Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu for several years now, but they feel so much anxiety and nervousness when it comes to rolling with better people, or bigger/stronger people, even though they're 230lbs themselves.
They say a lot of times when they go against these type of people, they build them up to be much more than they actually are, even if Bob is bigger than this person.
They say during rolls that they're "fight or flight" kicks in and they tend to only roll with the smaller people because they "hate feeling powerless, hate being submitted, and hate being scared of rolling with the bigger/better/stronger guys."
He sends me the message asking, "any idea on how I can be less scared rolling with these bigger/stronger guys?"
I actually choose to answer this, versus many other questions I received, because I have personally dealt with this.
We've all got some mental baggage.
Mine is anxiety and I have had to find strategies to deal with it. This means anxiety with Jiu-Jitsu is something I had to deal with a lot too. This was true for practice and competitions.
In this video I'll give you guys a few things I did to keep the anxiety out of "the driver's seat" that really have helped and continue to help me a long my BJJ career.
Hopefully this helped you out Bob, and hopefully this helps anyone else out there that feels like they're dealing with something similar.
Chewy
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Fight club homework: You're going to get in a fight and you're going to lose.
Yeah, sometimes 4 days a week 😂
I got into a fight. I didn't lose but beat up the guy really bad (chipped teeth, purple eyes, internal bleeding) and got involved in a case of assault. I did do it for self-defence though and proved it in court. I still don't feel confident.
7 years in and I still have this issue, I just keep going and refuse to quit
going to my first BJJ class tomorrow, been using your videos to hype myself up for this journey!
You will be helpless until you’re not. Don’t go into it as a win/loose go into the class win a learn/learn attitude. On my 4 month and i am still a nail, but the hammers need to swing harder to make a dent. I f’n love it. 6-7 classes a week. 2 classes are not enough and those ppl burn out fast
And I say don’t listen to white belts for advice my friend.
Good luck, have fun, and most importantly, don’t tap
3-4 classes a week to get better as a hobbyist 4 - 6 or more if you want to be a serious competitor.
Be careful you don't have to try and prove something by letting a sub go too far. Tap and reset.
@@determinedlyunmotivated4300 bro, that’s the perfect analogy for growth. “I’m still the nail, but the hammers have to swing harder.”
Fear is the divider between cowardness and bravery
Ego. Until Bob conquers this, it will continue until he drops out.
Yeah i think an ego check is due here. Dude wants to just smash little guys and runs from tough rolls. cowardice
I once heard a saying “Fear is like a wall. It’s tall and wide but it’s paper thin. You can push right through it.”
Brilliant saying 👏🏻👏🏻
I like this.
Good one.
As my drill sergeant used to say - embrace the suck. Being put in uncomfortable positions repeatedly is great for learning. Your brain doesn't want to feel uncomfortable, so it subconsciously retains information to prevent it from happening again.
Hi Chewy, I’ve been listening to your videos for years & this is the first video I had to repeat 3 times in a row just because everything you mentioned really spoke volumes to me! I’m a 46yo blue belt, I try to compete 3 to 4 times a year accounting for work/family life. I’m trying to nurture that anxiety & I do feel the more I compete the better I’m getting at controlling those nerves. I can’t ever thank you enough for how much I get from your videos over the years. I hope to meet you one day, shake your hand & thank you in person. God bless Champ…all the best for 2024!! A fan from Sydney, Australia. 🇦🇺 🙏🏼👊🏼❤️
Appreciate the message brother and I'm happy the words connected with you. Hopefully they'll help assist you on your path to becoming stronger and more resilient in those situations.
Thank you so much for posting this. I’m the exact same way this is very helpful
I'm new and I have some of this. Spent most of my life in racket sports and basketball, I'm 42 now. No martial arts or grappling. So I can feel slow in the head to grasp what seems simple to others and you're way out of your comfort zone. It brings up some very difficult emotions which is why I do it. I want to overcome and learn to handle those emotions. I don't agree that "it's not for you" if you have problems. You just keep going and bit by it you start to feel better and grow. I'm nervous before rolls and I feel stupid during instruction when I'm trying to repeat techniques pretty much every class but once I finish I feel great, then it restarts next time:) Others don't seem to have this so I can easily judge myself. I don't know what it happens but it is what it is for now. I think a lot of it is being used to doing things that come quick to me and then the self judgement piece. If you're vulnerable and talk with others they are pretty helpful and want to help you learn and stay with it. I look forward to helping others with that down the road. Eventually I'll overcome it and then it'll turn into something else.
If you hate being powerless and being submitted, this shit ain’t for you lol.
Mad respect for your description of how you use meditation to work through this stuff. As a dedicated daily meditator and still white belt BJJ practitioner I also bring meditation on to the mat in a similar way (when I am able). I frequently feel the same anxiety. I am not super muscular so those really ripped guys give me anxiety like nothing else. To the point made in the video, when I can see it for the story it is (that I am telling myself) I can sometimes also recognize that the other person is bringing their own baggage to the mat. Maybe they are bigger and stronger and will smash me for a while, but that is not the whole of them or me. We are all just people with the desire to be safe and happy. Then when things do go sideways and I get an accidental knee in the face, or whatever, I can walk away knowing that I learned something about my game on the mat, and I gave them something in return. I hope I can keep this perspective in the long term but I can say 98% of the time I roll, I get beat. 99% of the time I walk away with a smile and gratitude for the experience.
Solidarity my fellow anxious peeps. I know it’s a struggle but it’s impressive how we still continue to get out of bed and show up.
I had the same feeling of anxiety for years, but what made it go away was I just stopped caring if I got tapped. At my big age, the only thing I’m worried about is not getting hurt. If you roll smart, for the most part, you can avoid that. Tournaments are a little different, everyone gets nervous for tournaments, but I think the important thing to remember is you do this sport, just like they do. You go in, and you do what you’ve been training to do, and no matter what when that match is over, you will be better than you were before it.
I'm one of the shortest (adult) people at my gym so I have to roll with taller and bigger people. Where I get anxious is when I am in a position that I can't get out of because my mind goes blank. I can't remember how to escape so I panic. I have been forcing myself to take a moment, get a deep breath, and clear my head. This lets my body do the driving and it does help. Thank God all my training partners are great and helpful.
I was the opposite I have been punched in the face most my life so by the time I started rolling it was like I can finally breathe and think. But u got this bro. Don’t let fear stop u being the best version of yourself.
Your comments around 2 minutes in Chewy remind me of what Angelo Dundee said to Ali (then Clay) before the first Liston fight:
"You're taller than him. When you touch gloves - look DOWN at him." Awesome psychology.
Great comments too. Still dealing with similar uncertainty / dread before training sometimes (50+ blue belt). Best option - just relax and do it anyway. So you'll get tapped by those who are better / faster / younger. No big deal.
Same in dance... most people are anxious to dance with a partner for the first time... then overtime it becomes fun if you stick to it ;)
Man chewy so much nicer then most… sounds to me that at 5 10 230 our friend here isn’t afraid to roll he sounds afraid to lose… the anxiety isn’t from the contact it’s from the lack of confidence in his ability to succeed..
As someone smaller (5’3” 135lbs.) only about 6 months in. I like to roll with the bigger guys, at least occasionally. I’m no seasoned grappler but I’ve got a few skills now, it feels good when you can get a sub or hell just hang with someone 6’ plus, over 200lbs.
Dudes description was all over the map. I can’t tell if he has a panic problem or just an ego “losing makes me feel so bad” issue. For the former, induce the panic and force yourself to habituate to it. For the latter…time to grow up, or (a nicer answer), you’ll get better faster if you roll with people better than you are and lose a lot.
I’ve got the opposite problem. I love rolling with the upper belts. While get submitted it still feels like I’m being taken care of. It’s the new people I have anxiety about, they jerk and snatch at everything even while I explain to slow down and go easy, let’s learn. Put them in an arm bar and they twist making it worse so I just let go. I actually dislike being the 45 year old fart putting so much pressure on an 18 year old newbie that I can hear his breath being forced out of his lungs just to hold them while they spaz.
If you learn to follow this reluctance, you realize it's a breadcrumb trail to betterment
I had this anxiety until somehow it changed into a different form. Now, I experience anxiety because I can't execute any techniques that are taught or some warmup or calisthenics due to my age and some physical limitations. BTW, I am 54.
i had this problem because i was rolling with guys much larger than myself, i participated in an in-house competition which had a huge impact on me, i further improved by doing a lot of strength training, that plus 2 years of training jiujitsu aided with getting improved confidence
Dietary changes
1. 3 gms creatine after workout along with 30 gms of protiens
2. started taking ZMA's recently
3. Started taking BCAA's recently
I have been training BJJ for almost 5 years now, I'm a bluebelt, nearly purple, 6'2 and 200lbs. I still sometimes get nervous before I roll with someone, especially someone bluebelt or higher if they're around my size or bigger. For me, fighting, martial arts or confrontational situations in general have always been very unconfortable, and despite training for years I still get anxious sometimes.
Some people are just built that way. Looking back though, I am SO much more confident in myself now than I was back in 2019 when I started bjj, and although I still struggle with confrontational situations, I can see large continuous improvements by facing the situations head on.
BJJ is actually better for people like this, the "tap" is socially accepted and even encouraged in sparring...whereas "no mas" is more frowned upon in kickboxing or boxing unless you get rocked, you dont just stop until the round ends.
you can tap when you dont wanna get choked, tap early before even before you feel the joint manipulation (although thats frowned on lol who cares), tap when you get spasm, tap when you're uncomfortable stretch. you can even tap and say i need a break and its more common in BJJ.
i would never get scared in rolling as long as you trust your sparring partners not to be malicious.
ugh my anxiety has crippled my rolling as it would build from roll to roll to the point i would start hyperventilating and its something that has only come on to me the last few months after 2 years of training w/o those issues. i 1st thought it was cardiovascular issues so i went and had it checked it all came back g2g so i also then went to my therapist and talked about some issues i was having and it kind of showed me how it was affecting me on the mat .Im just starting to go back to class and im really focusing on my breathing and not letting my anxiety derail me and my growth so i completely understand this feeling all to well
That's pretty much what happened to me. Was fine at first, but then the panic attacks started. They don't come all the time but they seem to be an inevitability.
The way you use your hands is a dead giveaway
Excellent advice
Interesting how all things Bob hates - I love about BJJ. Loosing is so humbling, makes me want to train more and appreciate the effort those guys put in to their training :-)
I have had this problem (anxiety), but in my case it became a problem with many things not only jiujutsu.
If i could just make jiujutsu class a regular thing (3 or more times a week)
Because it was so consistent it was just something i did.
I tried changing my mentality, it's not that I had to fight or roll but i get to. I want to show and prove how good i can get.
Small victories, yeah you lost but if you can take a small victory like "i got that pass, sweep or skillfully defended that submission. Take that with you
You can also take that error and workshop it, then you can take that new strategy and try it out on that guy that keeps beating you.
I had to do medication as well( not very much) but it helps
3 month white belt so far. My fear is opposite of that. I tend to roll light because I have a weird fear of hurting someone. I don’t finish submissions or release positions because I feel bad. Interested to hear your take on that feeling and how to get over that fear of hurting another person.
I’m a 3 stripe blue belt and I never liked open mat. I like the classes. The drilling ,positional wrestling aspect. But still to this day don’t enjoy going the just roll. Can’t really explain it other than there isn’t any instruction.at the end of the day I enjoy jiu jitsu and am totally content where I am and if I never improved I’d still go. Because it’s fun and serves a purpose in life.
If find arts like Tai Chi to be very helpful for anxiety, and mindfulness. It's so important to learn to be calm in battle, takes tons and tons of practice. I like simple workbooks like 30 Days to Reduce Anxiety by Harper Daniels for mindfulness meditations in general and deeper books like the Tao Te Ching.
White belt here. I face the fact ima get whooped and work on my defense. Anxiety has decreased now that I know I can survive
I haven’t grappled and or rolled in twenty years and I have this fear myself.
I have a question what's the best way to get a question read? I'm a white belt in a small gym. I'm a former high-school wrestler. There is about 5 higher belts that show up regularly and a couple new white belts. Since I can't really work against the higher belts I was wondering if I should smash the other white belts or let them work during live mat time?
How are you going to get stronger, after I get a good roll in with similar weight I look for bigger guys to get that condition, the more you roll with them the less nervous you will be, but just think, you will be stronger next time , then the next and you will realize, then start making moves, just how I look at it...get after it my man
Hi,we had a bjj team tournament and we lost because of me, I had a match where I had scored 2 points and 7 seconds before the end of the match I got reversed and my opponent won since he had an advantage...I feel anxious for my team and I'm really depressed about it
I'd ask to flow roll with better people before going full force if I ever felt too out classed.
Brilliant idea
Shout out to all the actual bobs who never get recognition😆
And also what chewjitsu said, mad different advise
Haha I’m always a bit nervous before rolling. I don’t want to hurt my homies😂I’m a good partner tho. But when I get going then it feels like someone else takes over my body. Such an amazing feeling.
*If you never rolled, you never done BJJ.*
That's like saying you play Basketball because you learned how to dribble and free throw
Find someone to role play with, no pun intended. Have him submit you 100 times. It's called exposure therapy.
My prof made my anxiety that bad i quit 👍🏻 osss
Could you image having this mentality; Meanwhile, only rolling with "smaller" people and still getting rolled up, folded, and ragged dolled? Roll with bigger people then when you get crushed, at least you have an excuse and it's almost to be expected.
Me 7 years in...
Bro I'm a 40yo 3 stripe purple belt and I still get butterflies driving to class. Enjoy that sh*t..
Goose egg, ouch!
I get my ass kicked 8-10 times iam over that nervous haha
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Learn good defense. And learn how to anticipate where the flow is heading. And also if ur training partner isn't in ur frame of mind just respectfully move on to another partner
Still think your more concerned about being a RUclips person
First
wow, you're so cool
Bjj is so soy
Bob has no place in BJJ. I’m sick of the new crop of Reddit tier people coming into BJJ
im curious are you calling bob reddit tier or chewy?
😂😂
Hah. So you've never struggled with anything or had irrational mental hang ups that prevented you from being your best?
@@Chewjitsu I’ve never been so soft I’ve dodged people in class (unless they stink) and had to message my e-daddy online for headpats
Wanna know something. Jujitsu isn't for everyone, martial arts isn't for everyone. Everything isn't for everyone. Our culture is so broken, thinking everyone can do everything. Maybe just maybe this person would like a striking sport better or crossfit. We have to stop thinking Jujitsu is for everyone it isn't.
I never said it was. This guy wants to do it and is trying to overcome a problem. He has the desire to reach out for a question, so I'm trying to help.
His problems may not be yours, but we all got our own problems. Doesn't mean we can't do it. Just means we're working through our own BS.
@Chewjitsu fair, it just seems that the answer to the question is Jujitsu isn't for him whether he has the desire or not. You're advise is on point as always, but I get the sense this person should just pack it in after 2 years and they still hate rolling - were not talking about a few weeks or even months here or even with particular body types or genders, but overall, yeah it's likely bjj is isn't their bag and that's okay.