For you to understand if someone's love language is acts of service is, just look at what they do for you. Are they always helping you out with a favour, cleaning something of yours, making you a sandwich or tea, picking up something for you at the store. We all tend to love our partner in OUR love language instead of THIER love language. Pay attention to what your partner likes to do for/with you most to figure out their love language. ✌
Acts of service is my receiving love language by far. You guys nailed when you talked about taking INITIATIVE & FOLLOWING THROUGH. Having to ask my husband to do things (especially basic daily life chore type things) is a huge downer for me. Along with no follow through! Your tips are great! Acts of service doesn’t have to mean that some one is being a martyr; it doesn’t have to be big and grand.
Can we also talk about the difference between just wanting an equitable distribution of household responsibilities and acts of service? Some might think acts of service is their love language, when it doesn't make them feel loved, just like they're not being screwed over.
I really love these kind of videos from you! Being married now 31 years . But being together 33 years. All of your amazing advice in your videos even sexual I appreciate!!
Plus after dinner she washes the dishes i dry..we’re a team. She caught my eyes 33 years ago when she walked into this dollar bargain I was working in.I had to ask her out. We’ve been together 33 years
I have experienced a lazy partner or was she seeking acts of service? How can we tell either way since it is a difficult subject to approach? Certainly being a lap dog for a partner is never going to end well when life is her inconsiderately making a mess in order for it to be cleaned up by someone else. Is this love or being taken advantage of?
I seem to do quite a few “acts of service “ for my partner as that is thier love language Be really nice to see a video with advice on how to get them to reciprocate because this is a 1 way street - gut wrenching when you have to compete with the devices for attention:(
I'm in the similar boat. My mother would always spring long lists of chores on me and it would interfere with my other commitments or just plain having fun as a kid. As a result acts of service can feel very heavy. As a kid I developed a bad habit of agreeing to do the lists (no real choice) but didn't follow through because I felt it was way too much. It's hurt my current relationship with my wife. She criticizes me for every little thing that doesn't measure up and it's really demoralizing. I find it hard to put out the effort.
@@masinalima Sadly not really. On Thanksgiving I caught her full-on cheating with my sister's husband in the backyard. She's basically saying she did it because I didn't do enough for her. FML
So I’m looking this up because this is what my now ex likes and I absolutely hate it. It makes me feel like I’m her personal slave. I will be laying in bed trying to sleep and she will just get out the shower and be like go make me ice water this is constantly and always at the worst time. I’ll set down then have to get up just to make her water after she walked out the kitchen omg I hate it so much. And then she constantly wants her feet rubbed or back rubbed daily. I get nothing in return. She don’t clean she don’t do laundry or anything except cook and oh lord that’s the world to her. In her mind that excuses all of it. On top of cheating with 48 different guys in 3 years. Sorry rant over this love language stuff sucks I don’t need someone to make me food or be up my ass I got stuff to do and I can’t do it all then expect to spend time with anyone
We have A Year of Creative Dates (with many that can be done long distance) and The Connection Challenge! vmtherapy.com/courses is our courses page! -Team V&X
@@vanessaandxander Asking why he loved giving was VERY insightful. Also, on the practical tips: tuning into my body was helpful. It also helped listening to Episode 12 and watching the Body highlight on IG because that tied heavily into me receiving-I was so self-conscious so it was hard to get out of my head.
We took a love language test and his was acts of service, I’m not sure what I can do for him because we live across the country from each other!!! Lol!!
Maybe he mentions looking for something online - maybe something to further his goals and ambitions. Listen closely. Also, maybe order him dinner one random night. ANYTHING that makes his day/life easier. This is my love language, and too many partners have confused it with receiving gifts. It’s not about that - it’s about doing small considerate things to show how much you care and thinking of us. Good luck!
@@cameronspencer7105 thank you!! His other love language is physical touch and we don’t get to do that much either 😣 but thank you so much for the suggestions!!! I appreciate it :)
Well typically you have a full time job so it is hard to get in relationship OR even make friends. That is why high schooler and young adults have a lot of chances to pursue
My love language is act of service, and I often try to take some chores out of my partner's head and buying my a small treat when I'm out with my friends. The most painful thing is that I feel like he doesn't even notice those things I do for him and I'm really aware he has different love language which I respect and always try to use his to show my affection. No matter that, even the things he does are like calling me to tell him exactly what to buy at the shop or at home rather than do something on his own, he rather says to me to tell him if I need his help at anything. He doesn't do anything on his own like completely doesn't see anything that could be done at home. I don't really know how to bring up the topic as he's the only one at the time that has job and I feel like I shouldn't expect of him to do chores as I'm at home almost all the time. I know he loves me, he shows it in his own language, but I somehow can't feel his love just because it's not in my language.
Actually for years for my beautiful wife ! I’ve put out for her a towel and washcloth for her shower. Even when we go to vacation I put them! Cruises too. When she’s comes out of the shower. I’m waiting for her. To dry beautifully sexy back. I’ve done for years too!
Acts of Service is my partners love language, and I score a 0 on it. It’s not something I understand, but I’m trying. I think the challenge is acts of service seems to be just doing chores. Does anyone have other suggestions?
Acts of Service can include anything that your partner would normally do for themselves! For instance -- grabbing them a glass of water from the kitchen if they're thirsty, making them a snack, picking up something they need from the store, bringing them home their favorite candy, taking care of them when they're sick, etc. If you want to bring acts of services into the bedroom, check out The Foreplay Guides on our website! 😉 Hope this helps. ❤️
I only opted to watch this video because apparently now there's a thing called "love language," whereas back when I was dating these things would have simply just been a measure of someone's character. It sure does seem like the dating/relationship world has become a hell of a lot more convoluted in the past few decades.
My BF and I recently took a test and it finally dawned on me (duh!) that his love language was Acts of Service. I used to shower him with words of affirmation and he almost seemed put off by it at times. Now I realize that I get tons more affection from him, both verbal and physical, (my main two languages) the more I clean the house! 🧽
For you to understand if someone's love language is acts of service is, just look at what they do for you. Are they always helping you out with a favour, cleaning something of yours, making you a sandwich or tea, picking up something for you at the store. We all tend to love our partner in OUR love language instead of THIER love language. Pay attention to what your partner likes to do for/with you most to figure out their love language. ✌
Acts of service is my receiving love language by far. You guys nailed when you talked about taking INITIATIVE & FOLLOWING THROUGH. Having to ask my husband to do things (especially basic daily life chore type things) is a huge downer for me. Along with no follow through!
Your tips are great! Acts of service doesn’t have to mean that some one is being a martyr; it doesn’t have to be big and grand.
My partners love language is Acts of Service so thank you so much for this video, it helped me a lot!!
We're so glad to hear that Karla! Thanks for watching!!
I love that if one of you look at the other person, the other person turn around to look at each other and kinda like "you're doing great, babe!"
I observed the same such a deep connection
Can we also talk about the difference between just wanting an equitable distribution of household responsibilities and acts of service? Some might think acts of service is their love language, when it doesn't make them feel loved, just like they're not being screwed over.
hung up some pictures this weekend....worked like a charm 😊
I really love these kind of videos from you! Being married now 31 years . But being together 33 years. All of your amazing advice in your videos even sexual I appreciate!!
Plus after dinner she washes the dishes i dry..we’re a team. She caught my eyes 33 years ago when she walked into this dollar bargain I was working in.I had to ask her out. We’ve been together 33 years
I have experienced a lazy partner or was she seeking acts of service? How can we tell either way since it is a difficult subject to approach? Certainly being a lap dog for a partner is never going to end well when life is her inconsiderately making a mess in order for it to be cleaned up by someone else. Is this love or being taken advantage of?
Please keep goin with these videos, they're fantastic. Thank you for sharing these 🥳
We've covered all of the love languages, so be sure to look back and check the others out!
@@vanessaandxander oh awesome!!! I'll dig deeper in your channel to find those, thank you!
I seem to do quite a few “acts of service “ for my partner as that is thier love language
Be really nice to see a video with advice on how to get them to reciprocate because this is a 1 way street - gut wrenching when you have to compete with the devices for attention:(
Acts of service always felt a chore because I was constantly nagged by my mother when growing up. Constantly critised of my efforts.
I'm in the similar boat. My mother would always spring long lists of chores on me and it would interfere with my other commitments or just plain having fun as a kid. As a result acts of service can feel very heavy. As a kid I developed a bad habit of agreeing to do the lists (no real choice) but didn't follow through because I felt it was way too much. It's hurt my current relationship with my wife. She criticizes me for every little thing that doesn't measure up and it's really demoralizing. I find it hard to put out the effort.
@@WesTheWizard damn im sorry man, i hope everything worked out for u
@@masinalima Sadly not really. On Thanksgiving I caught her full-on cheating with my sister's husband in the backyard. She's basically saying she did it because I didn't do enough for her. FML
Thanks for your knowledge
Welcome! Thanks for watching!
Great series 👍
This is my love language 🥺❤
So I’m looking this up because this is what my now ex likes and I absolutely hate it. It makes me feel like I’m her personal slave. I will be laying in bed trying to sleep and she will just get out the shower and be like go make me ice water this is constantly and always at the worst time. I’ll set down then have to get up just to make her water after she walked out the kitchen omg I hate it so much. And then she constantly wants her feet rubbed or back rubbed daily. I get nothing in return. She don’t clean she don’t do laundry or anything except cook and oh lord that’s the world to her. In her mind that excuses all of it. On top of cheating with 48 different guys in 3 years. Sorry rant over this love language stuff sucks I don’t need someone to make me food or be up my ass I got stuff to do and I can’t do it all then expect to spend time with anyone
Anything for long distance. I struggle being acts of service but my partner in another state.
We have A Year of Creative Dates (with many that can be done long distance) and The Connection Challenge! vmtherapy.com/courses is our courses page! -Team V&X
Acts of service is 💯 my love language. Funny enough, not in the bedroom though. (But I listened to Episode 17 of the podcast to work on that 😉)
Love that you listened to the episode! What was your favorite takeaway?
@@vanessaandxander Asking why he loved giving was VERY insightful. Also, on the practical tips: tuning into my body was helpful. It also helped listening to Episode 12 and watching the Body highlight on IG because that tied heavily into me receiving-I was so self-conscious so it was hard to get out of my head.
We took a love language test and his was acts of service, I’m not sure what I can do for him because we live across the country from each other!!! Lol!!
Maybe he mentions looking for something online - maybe something to further his goals and ambitions. Listen closely. Also, maybe order him dinner one random night. ANYTHING that makes his day/life easier. This is my love language, and too many partners have confused it with receiving gifts. It’s not about that - it’s about doing small considerate things to show how much you care and thinking of us. Good luck!
@@cameronspencer7105 thank you!! His other love language is physical touch and we don’t get to do that much either 😣 but thank you so much for the suggestions!!! I appreciate it :)
It seems that couples meet or get together in their 20s more so than any other decade in life
Well typically you have a full time job so it is hard to get in relationship OR even make friends. That is why high schooler and young adults have a lot of chances to pursue
My love language is act of service, and I often try to take some chores out of my partner's head and buying my a small treat when I'm out with my friends. The most painful thing is that I feel like he doesn't even notice those things I do for him and I'm really aware he has different love language which I respect and always try to use his to show my affection. No matter that, even the things he does are like calling me to tell him exactly what to buy at the shop or at home rather than do something on his own, he rather says to me to tell him if I need his help at anything. He doesn't do anything on his own like completely doesn't see anything that could be done at home.
I don't really know how to bring up the topic as he's the only one at the time that has job and I feel like I shouldn't expect of him to do chores as I'm at home almost all the time. I know he loves me, he shows it in his own language, but I somehow can't feel his love just because it's not in my language.
Can a person have more than one love language? Also, can it include music, like sharing your favorite songs? What would that be called?
Quality time
My baby mother is “ acts of service “
To a T
AND I WANT HER BACK!! Soooooo
Actually for years for my beautiful wife ! I’ve put out for her a towel and washcloth for her shower. Even when we go to vacation I put them! Cruises too. When she’s comes out of the shower. I’m waiting for her. To dry beautifully sexy back. I’ve done for years too!
Acts of Service is my partners love language, and I score a 0 on it. It’s not something I understand, but I’m trying. I think the challenge is acts of service seems to be just doing chores. Does anyone have other suggestions?
Acts of Service can include anything that your partner would normally do for themselves! For instance -- grabbing them a glass of water from the kitchen if they're thirsty, making them a snack, picking up something they need from the store, bringing them home their favorite candy, taking care of them when they're sick, etc. If you want to bring acts of services into the bedroom, check out The Foreplay Guides on our website! 😉 Hope this helps. ❤️
Brush her hair, pick out her outfit, choose the restaurant. Lol
I only opted to watch this video because apparently now there's a thing called "love language," whereas back when I was dating these things would have simply just been a measure of someone's character. It sure does seem like the dating/relationship world has become a hell of a lot more convoluted in the past few decades.
Cleaning his car :)
Venessa you speak so fast.
My BF and I recently took a test and it finally dawned on me (duh!) that his love language was Acts of Service. I used to shower him with words of affirmation and he almost seemed put off by it at times. Now I realize that I get tons more affection from him, both verbal and physical, (my main two languages) the more I clean the house! 🧽
Omg this is my situation too.