I am the person in this video. If you have a question for me. I will do my best to answer it. Slight note, the wording in my rant about how punishment is vengeance was paraphrased from an animation by Darkmatter2525 from his power corrupts series. While I strongly believe in what I said I could find no better way to say it.
Former C.O. here too man.. everything you're saying is so on point.. inside is a hard, ugly world.. most people would crap their pants knowing some of the horrors we've dealt with.. I didn't get to finish the vid but I hope your not still walking the concrete.
@@kiyu3229 I don't know about state or federal prison since I only ever worked in a county jail before I got a job at a residential center. I know I choose to work at the jail I did because I didn't know any better at the time.
I hope you understand it's not the job of guards to go up against anyone. That's not how jail works. Unless of course you also mean women can not be prison guards either. They don't fight people they just lock down entire sections
i did 7 years we more than once talked about taking over the prison they couldn't bring in real guns only pepper balls,and we had knives and mattresses to block the pepper balls,shit could've went real sideways
I'm really glad that Azeal is talking a lot about the criminal justice system in their videos. People need to know how messed up this system can be and what it does to people.
@@malonee as a former c.o. myself.. I agree with your comment. Sadly, some of the worst criminals are on the wrong side of the bars. I made a point to be a professional and treat inmates with respect.. even if they didn't deserve it.. of course some only to the point they allowed me to show it.. but I always treated the guys inside as people first and criminals second. It's amazing how I went 6 years and never got jumped or attacked and in fact was low key protected by some of the older inmates because I was simply fair and cordial. It's amazing how just being cool and calling a guy by his preferred name helps a conversation.
This whole situation in prisons is really depressing. The fact that this story might not change anything at all is concerning. People can end up dying without getting a death sentence. Maybe some of the inmates did what they did and didn't stop because they didn't know what else they could do. If the people working there were trained how to de-escalate situations, or help inmates work through troubles, or learnt to only use force as a last resort (and even so, only use as much as necessary) things would be more calm. If some of the inmates are given other options to express themselves or their feelings or their thoughts or what they're going through, then maybe things would change. Sadly, help requires funding, and who wants to give their money to a criminal? ...this stuff makes me want to cry
This reminds me of my mom's change in view on drug addicts. She once told me that she used to think drug addicts were just bad people who didn't deserve sympathy. However, that view change when my half sister, her step daughter, died from a heroine overdose. Sometimes it takes being thrown in a position like that to not be so shallow minded, and I think it's unfortunate that for some it takes an event like that to change your view.
jesus christ, this man is still sane and going through life after all that, i have nearly lost my mind from being homeless, this guy needs to pat himself on the back, he has seen some of the darkest humanity has to offer first hand and has gone "no, this is wrong, i need to do better, i need to fight this, i cant fall pray to this" and balanced survival and progress, and the county may have done nothing but he did somthing, he told the press, he sought greener pasters, that is fucking commendable
@@Azeal hey thank you for showing me a video like this as well as others. It's just nice to hear what these people have to say without all the media getting involved on something like a news channel where there is a lot lost.
@@kozmatheclown Well technically when you are sent to jail you do lose some of your rights, which is how legally you can be locked up and your freedom taken away, but ofc it doesn't mean they are allowed to abuse people while incarcerated. The whole situation comes from bad systems and incentive structures.
it is sad, cause it also raises questions about prisoner rights cause we have to remember. There is probably a lot of people in prison that are in their under false convictions, or they were framed, or are simply in there because they didn't get the help they needed.
it takes strength to maintain yourself in this world of choices and shadows. You are strong for not breaking your morals and your ideals for the actions of coworkers not only that, but you have started to help people. You have begone doing what civilization should do. You are helping people with their addictions, their insanities, and their fears. Many times people do wrong things because they believe it is the only option. I know that if i had a starving child and i couldn't feed them I would do anything in my power to feed them. Even if that is robbing a store.
The way azeal comforts him is so wholesome, also that man is one of the most empathetic I’ve ever heard of and doesn’t deserve to be alone or be in any mental or physical pain
I worked 6 years in corrections.. there was always some dangerous corrections officer doing something illegal inside.. my learning the job was following a Capt. around for about 6 months.. then got TDOC training. It isn't uncommon to do it this.. at least where I was. Dude is 100% on point.. Also.. if you want to be a cop.. a criminal justice is the worst degree you can get now. Period. You need big majors like poli-sci, computer sci, computer programming, accounting and so on.. also it's best to have a double major and minor.. police departments need people they can invest in for future positions and avoid majors like sociology, psychology, etc.. unless they're part of a double major with one of other majors.. you could be double minors in psych or soc... this is straight from a Chief of Police I know. I should do one of these.. thanks to my ADHD .. I have no filter.. LOL
@@jigsaw1398 I've literally seen 2 and 3 foot stacks of criminal justice degrees (applications) on his desk.. that were to be "filed" .. extend your education and get another degree.. you'll thank me.. another reason you want to do this.. because it seems like you're over educated for the position BUT.. you're not going to want to be on patrol forever.. and the only way to move up is higher education. Also, you can hop departments.. I have a friend who has military for 4 years, got a law degree, became a beat cop for a few years, then applied to DEA.. went there.. was there for a bit and is now Secret Service. I know guys who wanted to be nothing but patrol officers but they eventually phsyically or mentally breakdown.. I've seen a good men and women that broke their bodies and minds doing the job.. only to blow their brains out while sitting in their cruiser because they can't do the job anymore and ask any cops or C.O. how easy it is to walk away from the job.. Truthfully.. knowing what I know now at 53 yrs old.. I would have gone through college, earned a double major in political science and computer science and double minored in criminal justice and psychology.. and maybe spend 4 years in military.. that would open ANY door to you.. FBI (FBI you really need a law degree to be honest).. ATF, DEA, Secret Service and so on.. and if you could fly a plane or helicopter.. oh boy.. oh and really .. you need to speak at least English and Spanish.. or more.. These things would make you GOLD. Also.. it's not to say you can't get hired on with little or no extended education but you won't ever leave the jail or a patrol car...
Everyone considering a CJ major reading this comment, read it twice, then read it a third time before you shell out thousands of dollars on your first semester.
That ending made me cry. Never felt the urge to hug a person that went through all of that pocket of hell and tell them its gonna be ok. Like... OP, I'm glad you're doing much better and that you're in a work environment that's more meaningful and fulfilling for you. You're definitely a pillar of strength and a beyond amazing person. 👏
Unfortunately the law has retribution baked into it. Worse still is that it was done so intentionally. I worry that we cannot grow as a society until this has been addressed
In that case, hopefully the law gets retribution execution sent it’s way for forcing the people to follow the law into the deadly volcano of burning🥵🔥 corruption and life threatening.
it is baked in specifically so that society will not grow. because if it grows, the people who do these things become obsolete. they no longer have an excuse to exist. and they assume, because it's what they would do to someone *they* dont need existing, that, the instant you dont need them to exist, you will do your worst to make sure they *un*exist
I love the way you comforted him after all that. Got him out the car, reassured him, and gave him a hug. It shows that even if this is an (professional) interview you truly do care. “Thanks for listening to me” “It’s been a pleasure” You do a good job at making him feel better
"It's not what you did in the past that makes you, it's what you do now to make the old you see their wrongs." - a friend of mine told me this and i thought i would share the quote with y'all. Be who you want to be and don't let the world change that.
the comfort at the end of that video made me cry, thank you for being there for him and giving him a hug. like damn i wish i could give him a hug rn 😭😭
@@Maceman486 You may not have felt like it, but you were really strong to quit that job and find a way to use your skills and education to help people. You were in a corrupting environment, and if it weren’t you doing those things and adopting those attitudes, it would’ve been some other sad sap doing the same or worse. I especially love what you said about the nature of punishment as vengeance. You’re honestly very wise, and I wish you the best.
Thank you Azeal, for talking to all of these people. They all seem so genuine, and even though they talk about horrible things, they give me faith in humanity due to the sheer emotion they convey. Thank you.
Thank you honestly for posting this video. I was formerly a CO at a county prison and he really put into words what I’ve been feeling for awhile. The trauma from working in that environment, that uncaring, unfeeling, closed off room with no natural light and cinder block walls for 16 hours a day with uncaring, unfeeling people for the most part is something that I really have trouble with. I really think this helps put what I’ve been feeling for years now and just know how I’m not the only person who was an officer that feels this guilt. It’s honestly so helpful to know and know I’m not just the only one.
My 1st experience in jail as I was taken to the prinary tank cell I overheard a Guard Laugh about how he shuts water off for Unruly inmates until they "fall back in line" he took a look at the officer who booked me (cool dude) and said "what's this one in here for?"...... Absolute scumbag unfortunately what I heard is Hearsay not legally punishable if only I had a recorder. The Police force of Clallam County Needs a Serious Internal affairs investigation.
I know a friend who talked about working his department and he told me not to tell anyone or the police will falsely charge me, but he told me that some people are actually beaten and kicked in interrogation chambers while they are handcuffed so they can get them to confess. Also this is the norm in America. Staying silent Demanding a lawyer isn’t sometimes all that easy unfortunately
I could feel the emotion when theres that hug at the end. I think you really told him something he needed to hear in that headspace and showed genuine comfort I’m helping people tell their stories. Thank you Azeal for you content!!
I knew that prisons were bad but I had no idea that they were this terrible, just cesspits that ruin everyone involved. Thanks for sharing this horrifying and important experience.
These stories need to be heard alot more. The workers like this man are trying to survive In an environment that could very well cost them their lives. Not everyone makes it out when they try to take a stand but it's incredibly important that these incredibly strong individuals are heard.
It’s common in America and poorer countries, it’s just sad that America is considers a modern country but have a justice system like that. Look up the justice system in Germany, France , Sweden, and mosh EU states. That should be the golden standard for prisons.
This one did actually make my eyes water at two different occasions. Hearing about John's family and at the end. Thank you for sharing your story and thank you Azeal for providing him a platform to share his story
Azeal, I just want to say I love how, at the end, you say those nice things to the people who's stories you help share. This world needs more kindness and you seem to show that in all your uploads. It's very nice to see and makes your videos a pleasure to watch.
I really like how you talked to him at the end, how you *didn't* say he's not to blame for the things he blames himself for! I know how it feels to blame yourself for something terrible, and "you're not to blame" is the last thing you want to hear. Instead you told him that he's deserving of love and respect regardless. I really appreciate that.
God damn, you're basically the VR Chat Therapist. I think that hug at the end, however physically imperceivable, was exactly what he needed mentally in that moment.
The fact you went through that and still have a heart to care for the people who've been hurt shows how kind you are. Don't beat yourself down, your a good person and that matters.
“Punishment is Vengeance, and vengeance doesn’t solve a thing” damn if that doesn’t say a lot about our society… You absolutely do not deserve to be alone my man. That broke my heart, big love and massive bear hugs from the eastcoast. More people need rehab then jail and you’re helping that change 💛💛💛
I feel so bad for this man, its so hard to live with yourself believing that you're a horrible person. I'm glad he is helping people now, and that he's out of that place now. Best of luck man.
From 20:00 to 24:00, you can hear the pain in his voice as he recalls these events, It's horrible the experiences he went through, hope that he's doing better now...
I worked at a detention center for less than a year and even in that short period of time, I saw so much of this stuff first hand. When I quit, I had no backup plan but my options were to quit or walk in front of my 10:20pm train. It did so much psychological damage. Seeing the sun once every 3 days. Mandatory 72 hour weeks. Never again dude. Same as this guy, I just wanted experience, thinking I could get into law enforcement and use that criminal justice degree I had. I was so desperate to get into my career and get my life started that I let those people take advantage of me. I can't comprehend how people do it for 30 years.
God, i feel for this man, and i feel his situation he was in. I have felt the same way, felt the same breakdown, and felt the same, defeated, hoping just to pay back what you can ideas. It was exactly what i needed to hear at the end, azeal. I needed to hear it.
i have watched every single one of your videos i love the stuff you do hope you never stop and keep helping the people who want to spread awareness or tell there story i enyways have a great rest of your day if you see this
27:17 idk how a person can do that and not immediately get shame or some kind of emotional reaction like "wtf am I doing?" It's so sadistic and awful. I guess that's the slippery slope you go down if you have an entire prison of inmates whom you have complete control over.
I've said this on another of Azeal's videos but I'll say it here too because its important. "Love others who you think deserve it the least because they're the ones who need it the most" -Aaron Stark, I was almost a school shooter TED talk
The way you comforted the guy at the end was so sweet. Thank you for doing that because I know I wanted to give him a hug after hearing his story, I’m sure I’m not the only one. Thanks for giving these people a voice. Love the channel.
What a beautiful channel! You do great work for other people. I seriously hope he starts to feel good about myself, make friends, and pull himself out of his depression.
I listen to these stories so that I can know the reality of the world I live in. And also to remind myself what awaits me if I go down the wrong path. And another thing, to you Azeal you truly are a kind and good person. I'd even go so far as to say your too good for this world but the world is a far better and brighter place with you in it. And you make me think that maybe, just maybe, there is some good to be had at the end of it all.
As someone who uses humor a lot to mask emotions or in place of emotions because you just can't process how to feel, I feel this man's disposition so much
I really relate with this guy. I wasn't a prison guard (and even before I heard this guy's story, never intended to be, since I know about how shitty the prison system is), but I was, and still am, in a complicated situation. I've witnessed my nephew and niece get abused in elaborate ways and was too afraid of being kicked out of my house to say anything about it, all the while being told about some elaborate conspiracy about specific minorities trying to control/get rid of me. I was told that my sister's boyfriend was the main abuser, and to tell you the truth, I half believed it. For a while I've been blaming myself and being extremely reclusive, hating myself for the self-imposed loneliness, but after hearing this guy and what you said to him, I realize that I simply can't buy into the idea of scapegoating. Whether it be the criminal actions of someone who's incarcerated, the actions of an abuser, or the actions of a group of people, right or wrong, I simply can't buy into the idea of pinning every problem onto one person, or one group of people and be done with it. It's a lazy excuse to make oneself feel as though they've washed their hands of wrongdoing, to justify vengeance, bitterness, and anger. It's an excellent way to weave a bloodier tale of Humanity. It's one of the many reasons I don't see Human society as truly civilized yet. Scapegoating is just one of many excuses to avoid being what a Human could be.
The term “correctional facility” implies that behavioral correction and rehabilitation is _supposed_ to be the entire point. And it is rarely, if ever, acted upon thusly. And theres profit in crime perpetuation by proxy, so its rigged to be a continuous cycle. Correctional Facilities _should_ be what they sound like in name. SuperMax should be for those truly too dangerous or un-remorseful to re-integrate into society. We as a people need to get off of our vengeance kick. Its a cycle that never ends.
from this channel I've heard so many stories about these corrupt or strict prisons/Jails where alot of things are wrong or can go wrong and it just shows how we should be grateful for those that can put up with it and then go on to do better things by going to a different jail or prison. To The person talking about this, even though you're moral compass went off you were just doing what it takes to survive and not get fired and you were are helping people now so I hope you're life gets better from here and that you can find a way to cope with the experience/trauma you went through.
After this I’m so glad my dad only did a year in a minimum security. That sounds like hell, he always described his time as “oh I just gave people tattoos and haircuts and stuff, we had a TV in my cell,” hearing about this? Fuck no. The fact that he gets so emotional telling us this, just… wow, I’m tearing up and I’m not even there.
My Dad did it for a loooong time. 25 years or so. Longer than I've been alive (23). Guy was on what amounts to prison SWAT and everything. Kind of a "hard" person. Made me the same way. Can't say I mind though, gonna need it in the coming years. Civil War II and all that.
I clicked on this because I saw Phantom of the Paradise (masked figure on the left) and I stayed for the content. That character does not get enough love and is kind of obscure these days so I'm very happy to see that he's actually popular enough to be an avatar.
Unfortunately Law Enforcement and Corrections attracts a lot of people with what psychologists refer to as "Sensation Seeking Tendencies". The thrill seekers, adrenaline junkies. People who want to feel powerful, on top of the world. It's supposed to be a heavy burden of responsibility. You're not supposed to be there for you. Not enough people get that.
Having been through the system a few times when younger. I can tell ya this is honest to God truth with how bad our jails are. Almost a decade a law abiding citizen and no plans on going back. Jail will change a person for better or worse and I'm just thankful I was the exception and changed my thinking/behavior.
The bit about vengeance always makes me think about how I try to approach doing the right or brave thing. I have little faith that in a truly dire situation I'll be able to live up to my ideals but I hope I would. Though I mostly hope I'll never have to find out.
Jesus Christ, my heart strings. I love your videos. The fucking pure pathos and foundation-shaking emotion. I feel sadness, righteous indignation, passionate faith in people, and both disgust and earnest longing to better myself by living vicariously through these stories.
I’ve listened to about 3 stories now and holy shit I wish more people would hear these. So many are either relatable or understandable. From the military to the kids mental health facility to the prison. More disgusting things happen in life than people realize.
Working in a county jail, ive never seen an abuse of power like hes describing. but sometimes if an inmate wants to scrap they gotta get a little reminder and get knocked on their ass. I work in a place with a natorious reputation for cruelty and corruption. Beating a cuffed man is just disgusting though.
This reminds me of my grandpa, from the storys my family tells me he was the worst cop and best jailor in the world. He was the type of thriller seeking cop that ran inside a house with a shotgun and came out with 3 bullets on his leg and 2 criminals on his cuffs, the type to stop a family trip so he could inspect a suspicius bus in the middle of nowhere. But he also was the type of jailor to actually help the immates, he even called one of them to have thanksgiving with his family! I miss him.
This was an amazing interview. I especially loved the guest’s remarks about how punitive justice is nothing but vengeance. He blames himself for a lot of things, but I think he’s much stronger than he likes to admit. Anything he did, some other mook in his place would’ve done the same or worse. With the long hours, the lack of training, and the barbaric ways that they have to handle conflicts, it’s almost like they’re forced to sink to the same level as the inmates. It certainly sounds like they mirror each other in terms of callousness, belligerence, and irritability. If we can’t even treat the people who work in prisons and jails with respect, we can’t do the same with prisoners. It all just contributes to a miserable environment that does no good once a person has already gotten locked up. Deterrence alone clearly does not work. Thanks to people like this man for speaking out. I wish him the best. I’m also an atheist, but in a figurative sense, he’s doing God’s work.
I teared up so much harder than I ever had in the last couple months this legitimately made me cry and break down I was so happy for him getting to know that his life is better and that he’s probably getting the help he needs too honestly I know to many people it might not seem like a big deal but all the people sharing stories spreading awareness of evil and corruption in our schools prisons and facilities it needs to be known because every day workers like us all are trying to prevent future victims of abuse and corruption every day I try to make sure that people like us who love will have a profound impact on our co workers to make sure that they don’t get abused and we want to make sure our friends and future employees that work with us don’t get the shit treatment we got from jobs we did and that’s important some times a hug a willing ear to listen and comfort goes a long way just knowing someone cares for you and what you went through really changes your world cause it changed mine❤️
@Project Otaku I'm doing just fine. There was another video where I tell funnier stories if you'd like to hear those. ruclips.net/video/vKwTj2PNSRU/видео.html
Jesus, based on the description he gave of the county building a new jail tells me EXACTLY what county this is and this story scares the hell out of me now
honestly azeal is the best he makes videos to share peoples storys and does it for free (im pretty sure) and for some people its a form of therapy to tell their story to someone and he even profits from it so he can keep making the videos this man is a genius and amazing
That whole story was really something hard to digest about our world. I’m really happy this guy found a way to really help people in the end. That last part of the video when they step out of the car was very powerful to me. Just. Wow.
Power does not corrupt, but instead show who you are as a person. The corrupt are the only thing that corrupts. That corruption breaks the innocent, and I'm glad this guy got out of there and couldn't imagine living with those memories.
Yes and no. Power can corrupt, and it's even shown in the stanford prisoner experiment. It might not be enough to corrupt someone by itself, but it is able to influence good people into doing evil acts if the conditions are met.
Hey Idk if this gentleman will see this but. You are not alone. I was in a situation where meany cops where called and turned a blind eye to what my brith parents where doing to me and my brother. Just because of the fact my sperm provider and egg provider worked at the prison. I would still be there if someone like you never spoke up. So you speaking and working to help people now means more then you will ever know. Also I used to hate police but sorys like this have helped with that. Keep your head up and keep up the good work sir.
John’s story is just f-ed up on so many levels. He didn’t even hurt anyone. He didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to those who he loved. He was supposed to be in there for only 3 days. What that doctor did was disgusting.
I really hope this guy is doing so much better now. It definitely sounded like he went through a lot. I'm glad he's gotten out of that prison job and into a much better one. Traumatic experiences like the ones he's gone through are things I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. It's such a shame nothing has been done about that jail, though.
Azeal, I just want to say, I look up to you as a human being. I have no idea if you are or aren't a licensed therapist, but either way, you do your best to love and comfort people which I respect a ton. When you told him to get out of the car, and you gave him that talk and hug, I teared up. Even if it's just vr, it's as real as in person therapy. Because let's face it, that's what you give a lot of these people. Keep up the great work dude.
![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
I am the person in this video. If you have a question for me. I will do my best to answer it.
Slight note, the wording in my rant about how punishment is vengeance was paraphrased from an animation by Darkmatter2525 from his power corrupts series. While I strongly believe in what I said I could find no better way to say it.
do you choose what prison you work in ?
Former C.O. here too man.. everything you're saying is so on point.. inside is a hard, ugly world.. most people would crap their pants knowing some of the horrors we've dealt with.. I didn't get to finish the vid but I hope your not still walking the concrete.
@@kiyu3229 I don't know about state or federal prison since I only ever worked in a county jail before I got a job at a residential center. I know I choose to work at the jail I did because I didn't know any better at the time.
@@beedoubleu More like polished tile now. I help get people treatment, housing, jobs, etc now. I hope you found a better place too.
@Nameless You're welcome.
Imagine an untrained guard going up against an inmate who has actual experience or was ex military.. Shit would be legit terrifying even with gear.
@Michael Flores some people don’t have choices
It is.
@Michael Flores Thanks captain free choice, now people will surely choose starvation over working a job they're not fit for
I hope you understand it's not the job of guards to go up against anyone. That's not how jail works. Unless of course you also mean women can not be prison guards either. They don't fight people they just lock down entire sections
i did 7 years we more than once talked about taking over the prison they couldn't bring in real guns only pepper balls,and we had knives and mattresses to block the pepper balls,shit could've went real sideways
I'm really glad that Azeal is talking a lot about the criminal justice system in their videos. People need to know how messed up this system can be and what it does to people.
All the wild shit I saw Co's do when I was locked up is INSANE
American Justice System lmao
@@malonee as a former c.o. myself.. I agree with your comment. Sadly, some of the worst criminals are on the wrong side of the bars. I made a point to be a professional and treat inmates with respect.. even if they didn't deserve it.. of course some only to the point they allowed me to show it.. but I always treated the guys inside as people first and criminals second. It's amazing how I went 6 years and never got jumped or attacked and in fact was low key protected by some of the older inmates because I was simply fair and cordial. It's amazing how just being cool and calling a guy by his preferred name helps a conversation.
Yeah the Justice System is Indeed No Better Than Any of the other Branches... They're all a different type of screw up.
It also give people a almost completely anonymous place to share things about the criminal justice system
This whole situation in prisons is really depressing. The fact that this story might not change anything at all is concerning. People can end up dying without getting a death sentence. Maybe some of the inmates did what they did and didn't stop because they didn't know what else they could do. If the people working there were trained how to de-escalate situations, or help inmates work through troubles, or learnt to only use force as a last resort (and even so, only use as much as necessary) things would be more calm. If some of the inmates are given other options to express themselves or their feelings or their thoughts or what they're going through, then maybe things would change. Sadly, help requires funding, and who wants to give their money to a criminal? ...this stuff makes me want to cry
Me too. We just keep trying though. A lot of us just keep trying.
This reminds me of my mom's change in view on drug addicts. She once told me that she used to think drug addicts were just bad people who didn't deserve sympathy. However, that view change when my half sister, her step daughter, died from a heroine overdose. Sometimes it takes being thrown in a position like that to not be so shallow minded, and I think it's unfortunate that for some it takes an event like that to change your view.
Why did I just get an ad about a game in which you commit tax evasion and expose weird government stuff
jesus christ, this man is still sane and going through life after all that, i have nearly lost my mind from being homeless, this guy needs to pat himself on the back, he has seen some of the darkest humanity has to offer first hand and has gone "no, this is wrong, i need to do better, i need to fight this, i cant fall pray to this" and balanced survival and progress, and the county may have done nothing but he did somthing, he told the press, he sought greener pasters, that is fucking commendable
💜
Thank you for reminding me of that.
I wish this man a better, happy, and pure future. He deserves it, for what he's been through. I really wish him the best
Thank you so much.
You're *WAY* too hard on yourself. You did better than the VAST majority of people in that situation.
Agreed!
@@Azeal hey thank you for showing me a video like this as well as others. It's just nice to hear what these people have to say without all the media getting involved on something like a news channel where there is a lot lost.
Honestly, the world needs more people who care like OP does. Please continue to be the light and beacon of hope you want to see in the world.
Human rights violations are commonplace at jails sadly
Mmhmm.😔😔
Some guards have the stupid idea in their head that once people get imprisoned they lose their human rights. Shit is unbearably stupid.
@@kozmatheclown Well technically when you are sent to jail you do lose some of your rights, which is how legally you can be locked up and your freedom taken away, but ofc it doesn't mean they are allowed to abuse people while incarcerated. The whole situation comes from bad systems and incentive structures.
I have crazy stories bout it. It’s messed up man
it is sad, cause it also raises questions about prisoner rights cause we have to remember. There is probably a lot of people in prison that are in their under false convictions, or they were framed, or are simply in there because they didn't get the help they needed.
it takes strength to maintain yourself in this world of choices and shadows. You are strong for not breaking your morals and your ideals for the actions of coworkers not only that, but you have started to help people. You have begone doing what civilization should do. You are helping people with their addictions, their insanities, and their fears. Many times people do wrong things because they believe it is the only option. I know that if i had a starving child and i couldn't feed them I would do anything in my power to feed them. Even if that is robbing a store.
I was one of those convicts under false convictions. I'm still recovering from it
@@backwoodsjunkie08 hope you're doing well 🫂
@@backwoodsjunkie08gl man hope you’re doing well
The way azeal comforts him is so wholesome, also that man is one of the most empathetic I’ve ever heard of and doesn’t deserve to be alone or be in any mental or physical pain
That made me start crying instantly.
It made me tear up because he was repeating the exact words I said to rationalize the self hate that nearly made me commit suicide.
Protect the fox boy.
I worked 6 years in corrections.. there was always some dangerous corrections officer doing something illegal inside.. my learning the job was following a Capt. around for about 6 months.. then got TDOC training. It isn't uncommon to do it this.. at least where I was.
Dude is 100% on point..
Also.. if you want to be a cop.. a criminal justice is the worst degree you can get now. Period. You need big majors like poli-sci, computer sci, computer programming, accounting and so on.. also it's best to have a double major and minor.. police departments need people they can invest in for future positions and avoid majors like sociology, psychology, etc.. unless they're part of a double major with one of other majors.. you could be double minors in psych or soc... this is straight from a Chief of Police I know.
I should do one of these.. thanks to my ADHD .. I have no filter.. LOL
I wish I heard about this sooner. I just recently graduated with a major in Criminal Justice..
@@jigsaw1398 I've literally seen 2 and 3 foot stacks of criminal justice degrees (applications) on his desk.. that were to be "filed" .. extend your education and get another degree.. you'll thank me.. another reason you want to do this.. because it seems like you're over educated for the position BUT.. you're not going to want to be on patrol forever.. and the only way to move up is higher education. Also, you can hop departments.. I have a friend who has military for 4 years, got a law degree, became a beat cop for a few years, then applied to DEA.. went there.. was there for a bit and is now Secret Service.
I know guys who wanted to be nothing but patrol officers but they eventually phsyically or mentally breakdown.. I've seen a good men and women that broke their bodies and minds doing the job.. only to blow their brains out while sitting in their cruiser because they can't do the job anymore and ask any cops or C.O. how easy it is to walk away from the job..
Truthfully.. knowing what I know now at 53 yrs old.. I would have gone through college, earned a double major in political science and computer science and double minored in criminal justice and psychology.. and maybe spend 4 years in military.. that would open ANY door to you.. FBI (FBI you really need a law degree to be honest).. ATF, DEA, Secret Service and so on.. and if you could fly a plane or helicopter.. oh boy.. oh and really .. you need to speak at least English and Spanish.. or more.. These things would make you GOLD.
Also.. it's not to say you can't get hired on with little or no extended education but you won't ever leave the jail or a patrol car...
Everyone considering a CJ major reading this comment, read it twice, then read it a third time before you shell out thousands of dollars on your first semester.
Criminal justice actually teachs ethics. Unlike science and math degrees.
That’s good. Perhaps maybe people with ADHD might have a higher capacity for honesty then do to having no filter???
That ending made me cry. Never felt the urge to hug a person that went through all of that pocket of hell and tell them its gonna be ok. Like... OP, I'm glad you're doing much better and that you're in a work environment that's more meaningful and fulfilling for you. You're definitely a pillar of strength and a beyond amazing person. 👏
Thank you.
as a fellow co. dont be so hard on yourself. youre a good man in a shit place. always here to talk if you need
I appreciate that.
Unfortunately the law has retribution baked into it. Worse still is that it was done so intentionally.
I worry that we cannot grow as a society until this has been addressed
Exactly.
In that case, hopefully the law gets retribution execution sent it’s way for forcing the people to follow the law into the deadly volcano of burning🥵🔥 corruption and life threatening.
it is baked in specifically so that society will not grow. because if it grows, the people who do these things become obsolete. they no longer have an excuse to exist. and they assume, because it's what they would do to someone *they* dont need existing, that, the instant you dont need them to exist, you will do your worst to make sure they *un*exist
I love the way you comforted him after all that. Got him out the car, reassured him, and gave him a hug. It shows that even if this is an (professional) interview you truly do care. “Thanks for listening to me”
“It’s been a pleasure”
You do a good job at making him feel better
🧡
"It's not what you did in the past that makes you, it's what you do now to make the old you see their wrongs." - a friend of mine told me this and i thought i would share the quote with y'all. Be who you want to be and don't let the world change that.
the comfort at the end of that video made me cry, thank you for being there for him and giving him a hug. like damn i wish i could give him a hug rn 😭😭
Thank you
@@Maceman486 You may not have felt like it, but you were really strong to quit that job and find a way to use your skills and education to help people. You were in a corrupting environment, and if it weren’t you doing those things and adopting those attitudes, it would’ve been some other sad sap doing the same or worse. I especially love what you said about the nature of punishment as vengeance. You’re honestly very wise, and I wish you the best.
The system tried to break you, chew you up then spit you out. The fact you kept your moral compass straight shows how good and resilient you are
I'm crying now. That ending was too wholesome for me to handle.
Aww :)
@@Azeal You're a good human.
@@ryoga81 He is.
I hope hes ok...dudes got a big heart. Feel so bad he had to go through that and feels alone. Humans can be so fucked up. Poor dude
Thank you Azeal, for talking to all of these people. They all seem so genuine, and even though they talk about horrible things, they give me faith in humanity due to the sheer emotion they convey. Thank you.
Thank you honestly for posting this video. I was formerly a CO at a county prison and he really put into words what I’ve been feeling for awhile. The trauma from working in that environment, that uncaring, unfeeling, closed off room with no natural light and cinder block walls for 16 hours a day with uncaring, unfeeling people for the most part is something that I really have trouble with. I really think this helps put what I’ve been feeling for years now and just know how I’m not the only person who was an officer that feels this guilt. It’s honestly so helpful to know and know I’m not just the only one.
My 1st experience in jail as I was taken to the prinary tank cell I overheard a Guard Laugh about how he shuts water off for Unruly inmates until they "fall back in line" he took a look at the officer who booked me (cool dude) and said "what's this one in here for?"...... Absolute scumbag unfortunately what I heard is Hearsay not legally punishable if only I had a recorder. The Police force of Clallam County Needs a Serious Internal affairs investigation.
I know a friend who talked about working his department and he told me not to tell anyone or the police will falsely charge me, but he told me that some people are actually beaten and kicked in interrogation chambers while they are handcuffed so they can get them to confess.
Also this is the norm in America. Staying silent Demanding a lawyer isn’t sometimes all that easy unfortunately
I could feel the emotion when theres that hug at the end. I think you really told him something he needed to hear in that headspace and showed genuine comfort I’m helping people tell their stories. Thank you Azeal for you content!!
A good rule to follow is, if your workplace is the kind of environment where lying to protect yourself is an everyday occurrence you should leave.
I knew that prisons were bad but I had no idea that they were this terrible, just cesspits that ruin everyone involved.
Thanks for sharing this horrifying and important experience.
These stories need to be heard alot more. The workers like this man are trying to survive In an environment that could very well cost them their lives. Not everyone makes it out when they try to take a stand but it's incredibly important that these incredibly strong individuals are heard.
"I deserve to be as alone as i am" is one of the sadest things i heard in a long time. And it's so wrong. Nearly nobody deserves that.
Prisons and jails that are corrupt are sadly commonplace and my oppinion on it is that some areas of the world need their prisons and jails reworked
Yes the area of the United States of America
It’s common in America and poorer countries, it’s just sad that America is considers a modern country but have a justice system like that. Look up the justice system in Germany, France , Sweden, and mosh EU states. That should be the golden standard for prisons.
This one did actually make my eyes water at two different occasions. Hearing about John's family and at the end. Thank you for sharing your story and thank you Azeal for providing him a platform to share his story
Azeal, I just want to say I love how, at the end, you say those nice things to the people who's stories you help share. This world needs more kindness and you seem to show that in all your uploads. It's very nice to see and makes your videos a pleasure to watch.
This man is one of the greatest gifts to this world. We need more men like him. Thank you for sharing his story, it's important that we learn.
I really like how you talked to him at the end, how you *didn't* say he's not to blame for the things he blames himself for! I know how it feels to blame yourself for something terrible, and "you're not to blame" is the last thing you want to hear. Instead you told him that he's deserving of love and respect regardless. I really appreciate that.
God damn, you're basically the VR Chat Therapist. I think that hug at the end, however physically imperceivable, was exactly what he needed mentally in that moment.
The fact you went through that and still have a heart to care for the people who've been hurt shows how kind you are. Don't beat yourself down, your a good person and that matters.
“Punishment is Vengeance, and vengeance doesn’t solve a thing” damn if that doesn’t say a lot about our society…
You absolutely do not deserve to be alone my man. That broke my heart, big love and massive bear hugs from the eastcoast. More people need rehab then jail and you’re helping that change 💛💛💛
After hearing all that, and watching them hug after Azeal reassured him. That really put a smile on my face, keep up the good work Azeal
I feel so bad for this man, its so hard to live with yourself believing that you're a horrible person. I'm glad he is helping people now, and that he's out of that place now. Best of luck man.
From 20:00 to 24:00, you can hear the pain in his voice as he recalls these events, It's horrible the experiences he went through, hope that he's doing better now...
He is.
I can’t imagine the pain seeing something truly evil in front of your eyes, but not able to do something.
I worked at a detention center for less than a year and even in that short period of time, I saw so much of this stuff first hand. When I quit, I had no backup plan but my options were to quit or walk in front of my 10:20pm train. It did so much psychological damage. Seeing the sun once every 3 days. Mandatory 72 hour weeks. Never again dude. Same as this guy, I just wanted experience, thinking I could get into law enforcement and use that criminal justice degree I had. I was so desperate to get into my career and get my life started that I let those people take advantage of me. I can't comprehend how people do it for 30 years.
Dude I am so sorry that you had the same experience I did. I truly hope you have found something better. Let me know how it's going.
God, i feel for this man, and i feel his situation he was in. I have felt the same way, felt the same breakdown, and felt the same, defeated, hoping just to pay back what you can ideas. It was exactly what i needed to hear at the end, azeal. I needed to hear it.
That ending… both of you are good people, honestly I could use a guy like Azeal to talk to about all the things that make me feel like a awful person.
bruh i like this guy. he needs a hug
Thanks.
i have watched every single one of your videos i love the stuff you do hope you never stop and keep helping the people who want to spread awareness or tell there story i enyways have a great rest of your day if you see this
Thank you so much for the support!
27:17 idk how a person can do that and not immediately get shame or some kind of emotional reaction like "wtf am I doing?" It's so sadistic and awful. I guess that's the slippery slope you go down if you have an entire prison of inmates whom you have complete control over.
I've said this on another of Azeal's videos but I'll say it here too because its important.
"Love others who you think deserve it the least because they're the ones who need it the most"
-Aaron Stark, I was almost a school shooter TED talk
This dude has suffered through hell...
The way you comforted the guy at the end was so sweet. Thank you for doing that because I know I wanted to give him a hug after hearing his story, I’m sure I’m not the only one. Thanks for giving these people a voice. Love the channel.
Thank you for helping people get their stories out, azeal!! 🥰
What a beautiful channel! You do great work for other people. I seriously hope he starts to feel good about myself, make friends, and pull himself out of his depression.
I listen to these stories so that I can know the reality of the world I live in. And also to remind myself what awaits me if I go down the wrong path. And another thing, to you Azeal you truly are a kind and good person. I'd even go so far as to say your too good for this world but the world is a far better and brighter place with you in it. And you make me think that maybe, just maybe, there is some good to be had at the end of it all.
As someone who uses humor a lot to mask emotions or in place of emotions because you just can't process how to feel, I feel this man's disposition so much
I really relate with this guy. I wasn't a prison guard (and even before I heard this guy's story, never intended to be, since I know about how shitty the prison system is), but I was, and still am, in a complicated situation. I've witnessed my nephew and niece get abused in elaborate ways and was too afraid of being kicked out of my house to say anything about it, all the while being told about some elaborate conspiracy about specific minorities trying to control/get rid of me. I was told that my sister's boyfriend was the main abuser, and to tell you the truth, I half believed it.
For a while I've been blaming myself and being extremely reclusive, hating myself for the self-imposed loneliness, but after hearing this guy and what you said to him, I realize that I simply can't buy into the idea of scapegoating. Whether it be the criminal actions of someone who's incarcerated, the actions of an abuser, or the actions of a group of people, right or wrong, I simply can't buy into the idea of pinning every problem onto one person, or one group of people and be done with it. It's a lazy excuse to make oneself feel as though they've washed their hands of wrongdoing, to justify vengeance, bitterness, and anger. It's an excellent way to weave a bloodier tale of Humanity. It's one of the many reasons I don't see Human society as truly civilized yet.
Scapegoating is just one of many excuses to avoid being what a Human could be.
That was beautifully said. I hope your situation improves, it seems like a sticky one.
The hug that Azeal gives to the guy at the end was wonderful
The term “correctional facility” implies that behavioral correction and rehabilitation is _supposed_ to be the entire point. And it is rarely, if ever, acted upon thusly. And theres profit in crime perpetuation by proxy, so its rigged to be a continuous cycle.
Correctional Facilities _should_ be what they sound like in name. SuperMax should be for those truly too dangerous or un-remorseful to re-integrate into society.
We as a people need to get off of our vengeance kick. Its a cycle that never ends.
from this channel I've heard so many stories about these corrupt or strict prisons/Jails where alot of things are wrong or can go wrong and it just shows how we should be grateful for those that can put up with it and then go on to do better things by going to a different jail or prison.
To The person talking about this,
even though you're moral compass went off you were just doing what it takes to survive and not get fired and you were are helping people now so I hope you're life gets better from here and that you can find a way to cope with the experience/trauma you went through.
After this I’m so glad my dad only did a year in a minimum security. That sounds like hell, he always described his time as “oh I just gave people tattoos and haircuts and stuff, we had a TV in my cell,” hearing about this? Fuck no.
The fact that he gets so emotional telling us this, just… wow, I’m tearing up and I’m not even there.
My Dad did it for a loooong time. 25 years or so. Longer than I've been alive (23).
Guy was on what amounts to prison SWAT and everything.
Kind of a "hard" person. Made me the same way. Can't say I mind though, gonna need it in the coming years. Civil War II and all that.
I love the way this guest held himself
Thanks!
I clicked on this because I saw Phantom of the Paradise (masked figure on the left) and I stayed for the content. That character does not get enough love and is kind of obscure these days so I'm very happy to see that he's actually popular enough to be an avatar.
Actually, I'm the only one who owns that avatar. I paid a guy to make it.
This is a great video, one of azeal’s best
thank you!
Dude 😭 that little interaction at the end omg. I'm so glad i found this channel. You're doing great work
some of my personally favorite videos this guy makes is the ones where he comforts them and its basically a therapy session.
This kinda made me understand that the people that want to be in this field are exactly the people that shouldn’t be there
Unfortunately Law Enforcement and Corrections attracts a lot of people with what psychologists refer to as "Sensation Seeking Tendencies". The thrill seekers, adrenaline junkies. People who want to feel powerful, on top of the world. It's supposed to be a heavy burden of responsibility. You're not supposed to be there for you. Not enough people get that.
@@Maceman486 I’ve heard that before, I do wish you the best of luck man though, your story can’t be that uncommon unfortunately, it really sucks
@@bpninja8641 It is not.
@@Maceman486 I just hope your doing well man
@@bpninja8641 I am. I hope you are as well.
Azeal, you restore so much belief that there is still more good, than bad people... Keep up this fantastic work...you're a special one
Having been through the system a few times when younger. I can tell ya this is honest to God truth with how bad our jails are. Almost a decade a law abiding citizen and no plans on going back. Jail will change a person for better or worse and I'm just thankful I was the exception and changed my thinking/behavior.
Well done.
The bit about vengeance always makes me think about how I try to approach doing the right or brave thing. I have little faith that in a truly dire situation I'll be able to live up to my ideals but I hope I would. Though I mostly hope I'll never have to find out.
Jesus Christ, my heart strings. I love your videos. The fucking pure pathos and foundation-shaking emotion.
I feel sadness, righteous indignation, passionate faith in people, and both disgust and earnest longing to better myself by living vicariously through these stories.
I’ve listened to about 3 stories now and holy shit I wish more people would hear these. So many are either relatable or understandable. From the military to the kids mental health facility to the prison. More disgusting things happen in life than people realize.
Working in a county jail, ive never seen an abuse of power like hes describing. but sometimes if an inmate wants to scrap they gotta get a little reminder and get knocked on their ass. I work in a place with a natorious reputation for cruelty and corruption. Beating a cuffed man is just disgusting though.
As a CO, I loved this. Something about hearing someone else talk about the job is nice.
I'm glad!
@@Azeal thank you.
You're welcome.
This reminds me of my grandpa, from the storys my family tells me he was the worst cop and best jailor in the world.
He was the type of thriller seeking cop that ran inside a house with a shotgun and came out with 3 bullets on his leg and 2 criminals on his cuffs, the type to stop a family trip so he could inspect a suspicius bus in the middle of nowhere. But he also was the type of jailor to actually help the immates, he even called one of them to have thanksgiving with his family! I miss him.
You recomforting him at the end even recomforted me, you are realy good at it, you choose the right words and say it in a realy nice voice tone.
I hope wherever this gentle spirit is that he is safe and happy. He deserves happiness
This was an amazing interview. I especially loved the guest’s remarks about how punitive justice is nothing but vengeance. He blames himself for a lot of things, but I think he’s much stronger than he likes to admit. Anything he did, some other mook in his place would’ve done the same or worse. With the long hours, the lack of training, and the barbaric ways that they have to handle conflicts, it’s almost like they’re forced to sink to the same level as the inmates. It certainly sounds like they mirror each other in terms of callousness, belligerence, and irritability. If we can’t even treat the people who work in prisons and jails with respect, we can’t do the same with prisoners. It all just contributes to a miserable environment that does no good once a person has already gotten locked up. Deterrence alone clearly does not work. Thanks to people like this man for speaking out. I wish him the best. I’m also an atheist, but in a figurative sense, he’s doing God’s work.
Thank you.
I teared up so much harder than I ever had in the last couple months this legitimately made me cry and break down I was so happy for him getting to know that his life is better and that he’s probably getting the help he needs too honestly I know to many people it might not seem like a big deal but all the people sharing stories spreading awareness of evil and corruption in our schools prisons and facilities it needs to be known because every day workers like us all are trying to prevent future victims of abuse and corruption every day I try to make sure that people like us who love will have a profound impact on our co workers to make sure that they don’t get abused and we want to make sure our friends and future employees that work with us don’t get the shit treatment we got from jobs we did and that’s important some times a hug a willing ear to listen and comfort goes a long way just knowing someone cares for you and what you went through really changes your world cause it changed mine❤️
Was anyone else moved to to tears at the end. The hug was the part that made me emotional 🥺😭
just seein this end is... just so wholesome that you hugged him Azeal
:)
That hug at the end was so awkward and yet so very heartwarming.
The feelings in this one, holy fuck.. im not crying I swear
I... am genuinely tearing up this is just heart wrenching to hear. It is so horrible what this guy went though. Hope you are doing ok dude.
@Project Otaku I'm doing just fine. There was another video where I tell funnier stories if you'd like to hear those. ruclips.net/video/vKwTj2PNSRU/видео.html
What a wholesome ending… wow, lol these are amazing. I’m subbing right now :)
Yay, thank you!
It's a good thing areal stopped the car first.
bro is actually a virtual interviewer
It's my job and I love to do it!
58:31 hey step out of the car
Hearing that little pep talk at the end had me thinking a little kindness goes a long way
:)
Man that hug really hit
Jesus, based on the description he gave of the county building a new jail tells me EXACTLY what county this is and this story scares the hell out of me now
Man, at the end i just wanted to give him a hug so bad
51:00 the most true thing ive heard in a long time. The whole part about rehabilitating and helping people back into society really hits hard
honestly azeal is the best he makes videos to share peoples storys and does it for free (im pretty sure) and for some people its a form of therapy to tell their story to someone and he even profits from it so he can keep making the videos this man is a genius and amazing
That whole story was really something hard to digest about our world. I’m really happy this guy found a way to really help people in the end. That last part of the video when they step out of the car was very powerful to me. Just. Wow.
I really wanna give this guy a hug... prisons are shit these days.... all my love to you mate
Power does not corrupt, but instead show who you are as a person. The corrupt are the only thing that corrupts. That corruption breaks the innocent, and I'm glad this guy got out of there and couldn't imagine living with those memories.
Yes and no. Power can corrupt, and it's even shown in the stanford prisoner experiment. It might not be enough to corrupt someone by itself, but it is able to influence good people into doing evil acts if the conditions are met.
@@Dice-Z bro, if _that's_ what you got from the Stanford shit, then I just straight up wish I was from your hometown!
Hey Idk if this gentleman will see this but. You are not alone. I was in a situation where meany cops where called and turned a blind eye to what my brith parents where doing to me and my brother. Just because of the fact my sperm provider and egg provider worked at the prison. I would still be there if someone like you never spoke up. So you speaking and working to help people now means more then you will ever know. Also I used to hate police but sorys like this have helped with that. Keep your head up and keep up the good work sir.
I'm glad somebody helped you.
6 minutes in, and the last one warned me about vulgar content, and this is already more haunting without the warning
55:39 I live in Puerto Rico and corruption amongst nearly every governmental and enforcement system like that is very common, unfortunately
I was curious if her experience was unique or not. Im so sorry its like that for everyone there.
John’s story is just f-ed up on so many levels. He didn’t even hurt anyone. He didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to those who he loved. He was supposed to be in there for only 3 days. What that doctor did was disgusting.
just wanna say my favorite channel right now, thanks for all the content :)
Aww thank you!!
That hug at the end almost made me cry that was so wholesome.
I really hope this guy is doing so much better now. It definitely sounded like he went through a lot. I'm glad he's gotten out of that prison job and into a much better one. Traumatic experiences like the ones he's gone through are things I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. It's such a shame nothing has been done about that jail, though.
Azeal, I just want to say, I look up to you as a human being. I have no idea if you are or aren't a licensed therapist, but either way, you do your best to love and comfort people which I respect a ton. When you told him to get out of the car, and you gave him that talk and hug, I teared up. Even if it's just vr, it's as real as in person therapy. Because let's face it, that's what you give a lot of these people. Keep up the great work dude.
these videos are perfect to go on a drive with. i havent done it since i dont have a lisence, but these just... feel perfect
Oh, and for that guy who said he was doing “Bible studies” that Inmate the quote Bruno Mars “ oh no, no no no no no no no”