I feel like it'd be applicable to many jokes, too. "Where'd you get that gun, Parry Hotter?" "Voldemort." "What?" "Voldemort gave me a gun." "Voldemort is dead, Parry."
@@chadthundercock7897Not to mention that the casual drug use, "scray" violence, crossovers, and the nonchalant bisexuality of the characters is really reminiscent of Easton Ellis's work. It's like a gothic version of Less Than Zero.
I wish I could combine that talent with my writing or when playing D&D. I am incapable of even visualizing character's clothing, let alone describe them. I'm not great at the rest either but passable enough. I can visualize and describe a lovecraftian creature in reasonable details, but the hero facing it is just some guy in a suit (who may or may not be wearing a hat).
@@Liquid_Mike imagine if you will a hippopotamus turning tricks at the corner of space and time, she beckons you down a poorly lit alley known as, the Twilight Zone.
Werevixen I tried this. I don’t think anyone would’ve given a fuck if it hadn’t been 2 in the morning. I am currently banished from my house. On the bright side though, I haven’t been thrown into a insane asylum or been apprehended by the police for listening to satan’s preachings. You my brudda, have saved me from getting the Electric Chair.
It took me _literally years_ to realise that when she said "kind of like a pentagram between Joel Madden and Gerard Way" it was a play on "a cross between" Because pentagrams are like her equivalent of crosses
The funniest part about this whole thing is that Draco would absolutely hate Ebony. He’s head boy of Slytherin, teacher’s pet, elitist and hates people who don’t fit into high wizard society. 😂
@@fai8980 Probably a hot meal and some shelter in your bathroom :c if it gives Virgin birth to another sink, then you should make a religion out of it.
She defends the "mary-sue" nature of the character, and then proceeds to have her one-shot the bbeg, get caught in a love quadrangle, and literally exclaim "oh no. why am i so good at everything". This is amazing.
every time I describe a character's outfit in my writing, I can't help but fear that I sound like fucking Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way. This fic has ruined me.
Me writing: "She wore a rumpled black tee and sweatpants, and her bleary eyes peeked through messy red hair..." (Spring in My Step intensifies) GOD DAMMIT
@@amberhernandez Thank you for telling me what the song is. I've been scrolling through the comments and every time it came on, I would zip back to the top to see what she was wearing now.
Looked back on what I wrote years ago: "I’m wearing a custom-made, georgette, a-line evening dress, chrysanthemums printed in the illusion sleeves where they look connected to one another. The dress is colored in red and going down, orange blends with falling autumn are printed at the sides of the dress." 🙃🙃🙃🙃
In a sense this actual sounds like Dumbledore is talking directly to the author. In order to see what she needs to know (how to be a better writer) in the flames (her negative reviews) she has to realize that she is terrible at writing.
Imagine getting a new puppy, and then one day you put on your shoe and hear a loud wet squelch. You take off your shoe to reveal puppy shit. Your dog has taken a shit in both of your shoes. You feel disgusted as if you're going to puke. You grab another pair of shoes from your closet, but when you put on the left shoe, you hear an even louder, even wetter squelch. Your new puppy has taken a shit in every pair of shoes in your closet, shit on every article of clothing, every accessory that you own. All of them are irreparably destroyed. Now, fast forward to the release of Wednesday, you hope for a good show, but upon finishing the show, you stare hollow-eyed at your TV screen, reminded of the same hopeless, depressed feeling as the day your new best friend destroyed your wardrobe. A wardrobe full of shit is an accurate representation of that divine punishment that calls itself a show, after all.
@@sirbobby7785 Hagrid got on his flying motorcycle and began to chase after Harry while listening to My Chemical Romance. A group of preps were staring at him, but he raised his middle finger at them.
@@victorlolxd7347no, satanism is an atheistic religion that doesn't worship a literal Satan but rather uses Satan and satanic imagery as a form of rebellion against the corruption of organized religions. With the founder Anton Lavey often criticizing the hypocrisy and overall immoral issues caused by religion, especially Evangelicals and Catholics at the time. The idea of satanism being a cult was an idea only brought up by the Catholic church in the 80s during the satanic panic and perpetuated by the media. Though there are literal devil worshipers in existence, but most of them either dub themselves as some type of pagan or a luciferian, not satanists. Anyways thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
Ok so I have an idea. Perhaps Albus didn’t know about Draco’s vampirism since it is never mentioned again in the “book”, so he would see Draco lying on the floor slit wrists, not a heartbeat nor a breath, so he would only assume that he was dead and bury him. Now Draco, in a state of depression, falls into an additional catatonic state due to the shock of losing so much blood. This in turn leaves ample opportunity for Voldemort to kidnap him and hold him as a prisoner. Because Ebony and Harry know of his vampirism but very stupid, they know he is very much alive but lost somewhere, but don’t make the connection that Dumbledore doesn’t have a clue about Draco’s vampiric immortality, so they don’t tell him until they realize he’s been kidnap. Thank you for listening to my TED talk.
Obviously you can't understand her great writing. Her goal was to introduce some elements of foreshadowing to the text. She lets the reader know that vampires can only die a certain way to hint that the death story is simply a bad lie and to set up the rescue plot.
“And then he put his thingy into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.” This is my favorite line in anything ever. It cracks me up every time I hear it, and I have to rewind to hear it multiple times
It's viewing 6 or7. This has officially become the funniest thing in the world to me. Every misspelling is a delight. Every authors note is sweet oblivious honey to my ears. This is truly a magical experience.
The child who wrote it admitted that she never read the books, and only saw the first 4 movies. The only reason this is connected to Harry Potter at all is because her friend had also written HP fanfiction.
Nah fam he gave away m9s in like my own spin off to the spin off called My imMROTAl since he learned that they are easier to conceal see? character development!
This is the best piece of fanfiction ever written. Ebony is the definition of chaotic neutral and could probably be reworked into a really fun character.
I thought she was chaotic evil. But ignoring that I think you do have a point that she could be made a fun character if someone who isn't a mentally disturbed pre teen wrote this.
I think that “Crookshanks” is probably my favorite misspelling of Crucio Ive ever heard in my life. I feel like instead of Torturing the target it should just make them break it down, but just in the most awkward was possible.
Yeah I’m so confused he got shod died but can’t die cause the only thing that can kill him is a “C-R-O-S-S” literally none of that made sense to me just typing it
My favorite part is when dumbedore grinds down the staircase on his skateboard. His headache is the only consistent plot point right next to her clothes. I also greatly appreciate all the work you out into the outfits.
I wouldn't be surprised if the author was the type to make goth outfit boards on pinterest and this is just her masticating to her own fashion choices.
3 watches later and I finally understand what it means at 18:00. "He was wearing messy eyeliner like a pentagram between Joel Madden and Gerard Way." A pentagram. Like a cross. A cross between JM and GW. Facepalm moment.
"I may be a Hogwarts student, but I am also a Satanist!" - I had to go back several times to understand what Lupin was masticating. I laughed at that Hagrid reveal every time... and then when I realized what Lupin was masticating to (not on), I laughed harder. 10/10.
@@thomaspatnode7053 oh don't worry..... it gets so much worse... but if you survive you emerge a literal god that can never be destroyed by shitty fanfic ever again
The two best parts about these is when the guys have to stifle their laughter while reading the lines, and also when the writer has to defend themselves from the people on the forum lmao
This is what inspired Albert Einstein to write the bible. It’s beauty is simply unmatched; the poetic use of prose, the astonishingly nuanced character development, descriptions so vivid I can practically feel them - it’s perfect. I believe it needs to be archived in the Library of Congress. In fact, I have printed out my own personal copy which is rife with notes and annotations.
Love how at 30:37, Draco can be seen in the movie screenshot they used for the background, as if he hadn't "died" and was just watching these two the whole time.
I feel like a terrible person but I am still dying at the fact that she clarifies that Draco cannot die from slitting his wrists, and then he proceeds to die from slitting his wrists only like two lines later
Came back to this masterpiece and RUclips just bombarded me with a bunch of viewer discretion is advised and warning me about self harm in this video, it’s so fucking funny
@@Amfortas It definitely does, and a whole dang lot of hormones too Jesus, there are more s@x scenes here than the entire 1st two books of Game of Thrones
Author: He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) Author the very next line: It was...Voldemort! Truly one of the greatest writers of our generation.
@Wolfrost - Many people were indeed suspicious even back in the day, saying that it must have been the work of a very clever troll. However, if it was in fact deliberately written this way, whoever did it is a genius of truly epic proportions. Anyway, either the confused young girl or the diabolical troll who wrote this deserves a place of honor in the Internet Hall of Fame.
I love the times where in the middle of fanfics there would be author’s notes where the author would randomly give updates about their life, thank the readers for the support and give reasons why they didn’t post a chapter this time😂
Did we ever learn who wrote this? For those who left positive reviews on the original story -we thank you for your sacrifices; you had amazing foresight
Short answer: no, and we probably never will Long answer: ohhh boi this is a rabbit hole and a half and the reason we will never know is because so many people have lied about being the author, including someone who was trying to get a book deal out of it and someone who made hundreds of sockpuppets and wrote bible fanfic. I'm not joking, and it only gets weirder.
The never ending quest to find our who wrote my immortal is long and complicated. We don't know. A lot of people have claimed to write it and been disproven, multiple people with verifiable connections to the original fanfic (were liked authors or mentioned in the credits) have different stories about the author but all won't out them.
@@kombat4135 one of oldest texts, i think it's called linear A still not understood. So if we destroy anything that is english, and/or talks about this piece of art, then we are gucci.
I come back to this series every now and then, it has become a bit of a tradition for me to sit through them, it genuinely feels tragic that we never got to see more
@@paige7501 i don't know, have you read the harry potter mary sue comic series? ( with the house sparkly poo?) the difference of course is that that comic makes it obvious that is a parody, and this...the bad grammar, the answers to the reviews...i am not sure i'ts a joke...
Depression and self harm back then was considered "kewl" and "badass". ...actually, no, even today, there are still attention seekers who do it for clout and drama and trivializing people who actually have depression and tendencies to hurt themselves
Fun fact: during the Vietnam war, the CIA agents would often read My Immortal to captured Viet Cong leaders in hopes of drawing out information. It had a 100% success rate.
![DRAGON BALL: Sparking! ZERO - Master and Apprentice Trailer [BUDOKAI TENKAICHI Series]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/wNf7A4rHczc/mqdefault.jpg)
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING MOTHERFUCKERS!?" asked Dumbledore Calmly.
he had a headache so it all makes sense
HARRY WHO PUT YOUR NAME INTO THE GOBLET OF FIRE
Like...so odd
i can't breathe omfggshshsbsuebs
Why did Dumbledore wear a "make America great again" hat tho?
i shiver every time I read the chilling voldemort quote "I hath telekinesis".
I died right right at "Voldemort gave me a gun."
Hey Hillary duff is hawt
Especially since he really meant telepathy.
Had a stroke on Then... He started coming!
can I haz telekinesis?
I love how Dumbledore's headaches is probably the most consistent plot point in the entire story after the clothes
Why don't RUclipsr apologies ever use that reason? I know I'd forgive them. 🤷
Domblydor
He shouted angrily what the fuck are you mother fuckers doing
That would explain why he was always yelling in goblet of fire movie
Dumblydore*
"Voldemort gave me a gun" was so unexpected and still totally acceptable in this narration, it killed me
I think I found next title for Rowling's new book, Harry Potter and the Second Amendment.
Surprised there wasn't a joke about Voldemort being an American exchange student or something
@@tykamen5588 Harry Potter and The Full Metal Jacket
@@amadeusagripino6862 and now I'm imaginating Sergeant Hartman yelling at Harry and his friends
@@amadeusagripino6862 Harry Potter and the Glock of Fire
237 peeple ned 2 stop fleming OK
Sorrow TV saaawwwwy
Tey jus preps
Fangz 4 stendin up for Enoby zaddyy
upload mooore and ill stooop sendeng u noods
A n g e r y .
"Only crosses can kill vampires"
*wears cross earrings*
Istapriesty yeah... That's why this doesn't make sense...
Forrest Brennan just my favorite part, made me laugh
What about any of this makes sense..
"c-r-o-s-s (there's NO WAY I'm writing that!)"
Because she's suicidal GET IT
I'll never recover from "Voldemort wasn't there, the fat guy who killed Cedric was". I'm finished
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Apparently, Amy Lee of Evanescence read this fanfic after her sister introduced it to her, and it left her in tears laughing
tears of blood of course, because she is a vampire.
I didn't know Amy Lee was a flaming prep poser wannabe
Lol as an Amy Lee fan, this brings me joy lol
@@insanelittlesilk didn't her sister die in like the 90s? pretty sure this fan fic was released in like 2001-2002
@@TheYutubesteve Did she have more than one sister?
"Hi my name is Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way"
OH BOY AM I IN FOR A RIDE.
Darkness dementia makes me think of old people with Alzheimer's sundowning.
Eric Chandler my MCR obsessed ass is fucking YODELING
@@celebrimborposting9251 Dank'ness
When a story starts off like a bad text message...
*dementia is right*
Fun fact, JK Rowling wrote this anonymously so it's actually canon
Reck yesssss
JK Raven actually
i agree
it would be canon if it was on her twitter
Nah can’t be canon, she hasn’t even come out on twitter to say any of the characters are gay yet.
Author: *describes everything Enoby wears in excrutiating detail*
Also Author: *Calls Peter Pettigrew as "The fat guy who killed Cedric"*
That’s all the description Peter deserves 😂
Obi wan Enoby
@@SkoomaGodDovahkiin666 Oh god, don't give her the high ground.
I love how her pentagram is just a Star of David 🤣
OG Enoby
"Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos." Bitch, they're both wearing CONTACTS.
she forgot the moment she wrote it, thats why its just genius story telling
@@jenkag4343 no wonder her name was Ebony Darkness "Dementia" Raven Way lmao
Edit: im looking for copper but i found gold in these vids and comments
The people who left those positive reviews are the true heroes. Without them, we would never have gotten this work of modern art.
It’s ugly, that’s what makes it a modern art masterpiece
*reviow
So true
They lied for a good cause
@@07_danishwistara29 DID YOUR PARENTS HAVE ANY CHILDREN THAT LIVED
He had no nose basically like Voldemort in the movie.
_It was Voldemort!_
Truly a twist to rival Shyamalan.
"what a twist!"
Thats exactly what i was thinking, fucking gold
Plot twist! This is a M. Night Shyamalan script that just never used.
Am I reading a fanfic or a steven king novel holy shit
Kubrick wishes he would be this good
I mean, you've got to admire the sheer audacity of turning Hogwarts into a hotbed of goth drama.
A wizarding school in an English castle isn't that far from being "gothic" already to be fair.
"Voldemort gave me a gun" is probably the funniest line I've heard.
I feel like it'd be applicable to many jokes, too.
"Where'd you get that gun, Parry Hotter?"
"Voldemort."
"What?"
"Voldemort gave me a gun."
"Voldemort is dead, Parry."
Kids in the future won't acknowledge the amount of sweat and tears that went into editing this
Unicorn Workhorse
Or the blood from all the wrists slit
@@GigaChadh976 riztz*
Mostly tears.
@@m3divh *tears of blood
@@AlexanderTheGrey and shits
I love how the story is overly descriptive for what Ebony is wearing but everything else is hyper simplistic
It reads like American Psycho
@@chadthundercock7897Not to mention that the casual drug use, "scray" violence, crossovers, and the nonchalant bisexuality of the characters is really reminiscent of Easton Ellis's work. It's like a gothic version of Less Than Zero.
Bro stop dont make fun of this story you prep dont make me allah kedavra you
I wish I could combine that talent with my writing or when playing D&D. I am incapable of even visualizing character's clothing, let alone describe them. I'm not great at the rest either but passable enough. I can visualize and describe a lovecraftian creature in reasonable details, but the hero facing it is just some guy in a suit (who may or may not be wearing a hat).
Josh tasty hagrid ps1
The wardrobe descriptions in this fanfic happen more often than the ones in the American Psycho novel. That's fucking impressive.
Imagine having a narrator that is LESS reliable than Patrick fucking Bateman
I was literally thinking about this shit
Imagine if this fanfiction is the only evidence of human life.
*good riddance,* the aliens would say, piloting their UFO away from earth
@@the_openers_of_eyes8 who knows maybe aliens have different tastes and find these as a masterpiece what a terrifying thought.
Imagine if someone came up with a unique comment instead of one they saw somewhere else
@@Liquid_Mike yeah imagine.
@@Liquid_Mike imagine if you will a hippopotamus turning tricks at the corner of space and time, she beckons you down a poorly lit alley known as, the Twilight Zone.
It can not be that bad.
""Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way"
*Oh no.*
My thoughts exactly
It's amazing don't know what you're talking about
post awareness stage 6
Have to admit, Dementia is such a cool word if you don't consider what it actually means
@@mynewaccount2604 where do you think _dementors_ come from?
*turns down volume so parents don't hear sin*
*turns up volume and everyone in the immediate vicinity becomes the Addams family*
Pro strat: turn on hardcore porn to mask the embarrassing writing of this fanfic.
*turns off phone so parents don’t see sin*
god always hears your sin
Werevixen
I tried this. I don’t think anyone would’ve given a fuck if it hadn’t been 2 in the morning. I am currently banished from my house. On the bright side though, I haven’t been thrown into a insane asylum or been apprehended by the police for listening to satan’s preachings. You my brudda, have saved me from getting the Electric Chair.
It took me _literally years_ to realise that when she said "kind of like a pentagram between Joel Madden and Gerard Way" it was a play on "a cross between"
Because pentagrams are like her equivalent of crosses
The funniest part about this whole thing is that Draco would absolutely hate Ebony.
He’s head boy of Slytherin, teacher’s pet, elitist and hates people who don’t fit into high wizard society. 😂
It's pronounced Enoby you fning prep!
I love how the entire story comes to a screeching halt whenever she changes outfits
Bobo What doesn’t your life pause like Skyrim when you put a coat on?
@@tedthekazooman9455 I wish.
to summaries Episodes in fiction
Hogwarts Psycho
The best part is when she describes what she's wearing but is also apparently still naked and covers up with a towel.
This fanfiction has it's own Wikipedia page. Let that sink in.
:'D *Wheezing*
This fanfic has it's own Wiki.
Dammit what does the sink what now
@@fai8980 I applaud you sir
@@fai8980 Probably a hot meal and some shelter in your bathroom :c if it gives Virgin birth to another sink, then you should make a religion out of it.
Love how Draco just got back from being tortured and Ebony's here like "I'm just too perfect, why me? D,:" 💀
She defends the "mary-sue" nature of the character, and then proceeds to have her one-shot the bbeg, get caught in a love quadrangle, and literally exclaim "oh no. why am i so good at everything". This is amazing.
And the fact that the first thing Draco did is to start stripping down in order to have sex with her
every time I describe a character's outfit in my writing, I can't help but fear that I sound like fucking Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way. This fic has ruined me.
Me writing: "She wore a rumpled black tee and sweatpants, and her bleary eyes peeked through messy red hair..." (Spring in My Step intensifies) GOD DAMMIT
@@amberhernandez Thank you for telling me what the song is. I've been scrolling through the comments and every time it came on, I would zip back to the top to see what she was wearing now.
Usagichan P. What do you write?
Looked back on what I wrote years ago: "I’m wearing a custom-made, georgette, a-line evening dress, chrysanthemums printed in the illusion sleeves where they look connected to one another. The dress is colored in red and going down, orange blends with falling autumn are printed at the sides of the dress."
🙃🙃🙃🙃
This video opened my eyes. I just realize how I write my fanfiction back in the day lol.
"Voldemort gave me a gun."
A *_GUN_*
Honestly I lost it a that moment during my first read.
Guns are better than Harry Potter's killing curse anyway.
@@haroldbalzac6336 *fires gun* "Hey, look, I killed Voldemort. It only took me like, what? Two seconds? Three, tops."
*"It's like a wand that can only cast the killing spell at a higher rate of fire."*
~Voldemort probably
Abra kadbra is just a gun but you need to be good at shotting to use it
"U c, Enobby, 2 c wht iz n da flmes, u mst find urslf 1st, k?"
-Dumbledore
*Dumblydore
In a sense this actual sounds like Dumbledore is talking directly to the author. In order to see what she needs to know (how to be a better writer) in the flames (her negative reviews) she has to realize that she is terrible at writing.
It's bad because i can perfecly read this
It's like she's channeling Rowling
Noah "NO I HAVE FOUND MYSELF YOU MEAN OLD MAN" - Hargered said angrily.
“She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on.”
This really is living up to the hype
I'm so glad this got its Netflix adaptation!
Not sure why they changed the name to Wednesday though...
Just watched Wednesday, no wonder it's literally My Immortal the series
Underrated comment
And Netflix has shown without a doubt, it accels at adapting cringe fanfics from the 2000's
I stan this comment, I stan this user, I stan everything about this user.
Imagine getting a new puppy, and then one day you put on your shoe and hear a loud wet squelch. You take off your shoe to reveal puppy shit. Your dog has taken a shit in both of your shoes. You feel disgusted as if you're going to puke. You grab another pair of shoes from your closet, but when you put on the left shoe, you hear an even louder, even wetter squelch. Your new puppy has taken a shit in every pair of shoes in your closet, shit on every article of clothing, every accessory that you own. All of them are irreparably destroyed. Now, fast forward to the release of Wednesday, you hope for a good show, but upon finishing the show, you stare hollow-eyed at your TV screen, reminded of the same hopeless, depressed feeling as the day your new best friend destroyed your wardrobe. A wardrobe full of shit is an accurate representation of that divine punishment that calls itself a show, after all.
“I may be a Hogwarts student...” Hagrid paused angrily. “... But I am also a satanist!”
Bruh
"You're an anti-christ harry."
@@SaintPanzerker "I'm a what?" Harry asked as he started to cry tears of blood.
@@jidiaz96 he ran into his broom closet and felt kind of depressed so he slit his wrists to pass the time and flew off on his broom
@@sirbobby7785 Hagrid got on his flying motorcycle and began to chase after Harry while listening to My Chemical Romance. A group of preps were staring at him, but he raised his middle finger at them.
@@jidiaz96 he caught up to harrry and took him to the farbadon farest and they did it ?!?!?! Hairgrod had alwas had a crush on vampir .
Voldemort speaking in old English and “clacking towards” Enoby in his “high heels” is amazing
"she's not a mary sue", meanwhile every main male character falls in lover with her
shdup u prep she nt mry su kuz she satanit and it majik spel.
HER NAME IS ENOBY
But she has a religion different to mainstream religions so she has character flaws
@@borger298is satanism even a religion? Aint it a Cult?
@@victorlolxd7347no, satanism is an atheistic religion that doesn't worship a literal Satan but rather uses Satan and satanic imagery as a form of rebellion against the corruption of organized religions. With the founder Anton Lavey often criticizing the hypocrisy and overall immoral issues caused by religion, especially Evangelicals and Catholics at the time. The idea of satanism being a cult was an idea only brought up by the Catholic church in the 80s during the satanic panic and perpetuated by the media. Though there are literal devil worshipers in existence, but most of them either dub themselves as some type of pagan or a luciferian, not satanists. Anyways thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
"I won't update unless I get gud revows!"
Still updates.
After chapter 6, it became all about them god reviuws. They must be really something, because she wanted TIN more after that.
She got dem gud revows
IS THIS STILL GOING?????
@@Ramsey276one
No
T.G W.H.M.V thank God...
Author: Draco cutting his wrists doesn’t hurt him cause he a vampire
Author 2 sentences later: Draco died from cutting his wrists
Still one of the funniest shit I've read
Maybe "doesn't hurt" means "doesn't cause pain" in this situation. I think I've already thought about it more than the author.
and then for some reason he was alive again lol
Ok so I have an idea. Perhaps Albus didn’t know about Draco’s vampirism since it is never mentioned again in the “book”, so he would see Draco lying on the floor slit wrists, not a heartbeat nor a breath, so he would only assume that he was dead and bury him. Now Draco, in a state of depression, falls into an additional catatonic state due to the shock of losing so much blood. This in turn leaves ample opportunity for Voldemort to kidnap him and hold him as a prisoner. Because Ebony and Harry know of his vampirism but very stupid, they know he is very much alive but lost somewhere, but don’t make the connection that Dumbledore doesn’t have a clue about Draco’s vampiric immortality, so they don’t tell him until they realize he’s been kidnap. Thank you for listening to my TED talk.
Obviously you can't understand her great writing. Her goal was to introduce some elements of foreshadowing to the text. She lets the reader know that vampires can only die a certain way to hint that the death story is simply a bad lie and to set up the rescue plot.
“And then he put his thingy into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.”
This is my favorite line in anything ever. It cracks me up every time I hear it, and I have to rewind to hear it multiple times
Shes just so cool and edgy that she doenst even have to describe sex, you already know it was great and well written
Bro really put his dingaling in her fairy cave smh smh smh fr fr fr
It's viewing 6 or7. This has officially become the funniest thing in the world to me. Every misspelling is a delight. Every authors note is sweet oblivious honey to my ears. This is truly a magical experience.
AND this is a shortend version
"Her name is enoby not mary su" incredible, what true artistry
She can't even say her own characters name!
Obi-Wan Enoby
@@MrAndrewrock lol
General Enoby!
@ebony barton "Hello there", she said depressingly.
I just love the fact that Ebony is always T-posing
Carlos Valdez asserting dominance
A stock image of A lady that you can dress up in whatever the author takes 5 hours to describe to us
to assert her dominance
Its eNoBy
@@DussyBestroyer69 yes, it's NOT Mary Sue!!
Lmaooo RUclips gave me 2 warnings before watching this
Same thing here or a warning and a “are you sure” but still
The band My Chemical romance was founded in 2001 and harry potter takes place in the 1990's. Wonderful continuity
90'S
A kid wrote it lol
The child who wrote it admitted that she never read the books, and only saw the first 4 movies. The only reason this is connected to Harry Potter at all is because her friend had also written HP fanfiction.
@@sagecolvard9644 are you defending this. And the time period is the same in the movies
@@zackdole6474 Am I defending a child writing shitty fanfiction? Yes. Children's creativity is always cringe, but it should be nurtured anyway.
I must've forgotten the part in the books where Voldemort was giving away AK47's
Yes
It's in chapter 12 of the Deathly Hallows after the part where Harry and Ron masticate to pictures of Hermiome
He’s like Oprah with them AK’s.
Nah fam he gave away m9s in like my own spin off to the spin off called My imMROTAl since he learned that they are easier to conceal see? character development!
Voldemort and the Proletariat Uprising of the DRC.
*wakes up*
*gets out of bed*
*prepares breakfast*
*gets ready for the day*
*slits wrist*
Perfect
Minifridge. This made me laugh more then it should
Minifridge
Standard morning routine.
Wake up
Fall out of bed
Drag a knife
Across my wrists
for some reason i tried to read like THE song
This is the best piece of fanfiction ever written.
Ebony is the definition of chaotic neutral and could probably be reworked into a really fun character.
I thought she was chaotic evil.
But ignoring that I think you do have a point that she could be made a fun character if someone who isn't a mentally disturbed pre teen wrote this.
We found the author, Nick! LOL
@@AKUJIVALDO Where!? I must exorcise her!
@@anmalaag1225 Heh! Nice.
I think that “Crookshanks” is probably my favorite misspelling of Crucio Ive ever heard in my life. I feel like instead of Torturing the target it should just make them break it down, but just in the most awkward was possible.
OH MY GOD I DIDNT GET THAT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CRUCIO THANK YOU AHAHAHAHAHAHA
“So, umm.. What kind of books do you like?”
“It’s.. complicated..”
@@user-mn5jf3ud1p can you call this shit a fanfic though it's more like a fucking shit pile
@@user-mn5jf3ud1p df do you mean bad ???
@@user-mn5jf3ud1p indeed it does, as poetically as you put it
@@imRehnzy Did you write it?
@@imRehnzy it is definitely you.
>says he can't die from self harming because he's a vampire
>dies anyway
Filthy poser
Filthy prep
Darn goffic prep posers
Yeah I’m so confused he got shod died but can’t die cause the only thing that can kill him is a “C-R-O-S-S” literally none of that made sense to me just typing it
This feels like an AI-generated story if the AI writing it was going through an edgelord phase. Utterly incredible.
My favorite part is when dumbedore grinds down the staircase on his skateboard. His headache is the only consistent plot point right next to her clothes. I also greatly appreciate all the work you out into the outfits.
I lost all of my college English lessons in 30 minutes.
Can I do this story for a book report?
@Anne TheReader He/She would probably be the worst at teaching but the also the best because she accepts true art like my immortal
As long as you didn't lose your "virility"
Well I'm starting to gain mine.
What the hell is with the multiple narrators each speaking in the first person?
Do some people actually think this is a writing style?
Hogwarts' closed due to AIDS
THANKS DOLAN DRUMPF!!1!
Update: Hogwarts closed due to stingraids.
Thank you Kanye, very cool!
Good job brothers
andrufb schools closed
I wouldn't be surprised if the author was the type to make goth outfit boards on pinterest and this is just her masticating to her own fashion choices.
This is the kind of shit the Library of Alexandria lost and we think it's a tragedy.
I love that a vampire who constantly drinks blood is worried about getting AIDS from intercourse...
To be fair you can’t get HIV from orally ingesting blood unless you had open wounds in your mouth or stomach STD fax
@@girlproblemsbulletsolution1268 XD thanks, didn't know that. Still... not looking to do it any time soon.
I love how people are still watching this
@@kizilm5315 I mean it's a masterpiece
@Not-IcyCrusader Take Two true
"He put his thingie into my you-know-what and did it for the first time"
Glorious
Better than 50 shades of gray
There's a bit where she goes "He put his throbbing you know what in my tool sexily."
That's exactly how it happened to me!
This author is fantastic, it's just like if Gilesbie was in my head!
"Then he put his boy's thingie in mine and we had sex.........See?! Is THAT stupid?!"
there were 666 likes when i came here to this comment and you know what? i'm letting it be because that is beautiful.
3 watches later and I finally understand what it means at 18:00. "He was wearing messy eyeliner like a pentagram between Joel Madden and Gerard Way."
A pentagram. Like a cross. A cross between JM and GW. Facepalm moment.
Omg I never knew that 🤣🤣🤣😭😭
You're a genius for this btw. I saw this comment months ago and I appreciate your insight frequently
What
Oh my GOD that makes too much sense.
A pentagram is a 5-pointed star.
"I may be a Hogwarts student, but I am also a Satanist!" - I had to go back several times to understand what Lupin was masticating. I laughed at that Hagrid reveal every time... and then when I realized what Lupin was masticating to (not on), I laughed harder. 10/10.
The eternal t-pose speaks to me on a primal level
veryscaryreaper ayyy I’m like 666!
My immortpose
veryscaryreaper I’m glad I’m not the only one
i'm gonna die
i need air
omfggggg shwhwhahahahahaha
What like barking or caveman speak? Or do you mean it was a Farcry level?
“I’m a brave boy!”
“My name is Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven way”
“I’m not a brave enough boy for this”
Literally this whole fanfic can be summed up with Jontron's face seeing the final boss of N.A.R.Q
This whole fanfiction would be summed in "What!? What the fuck!?"
I made it all the way to "it was draco" nnnnno idea what comes next but I'm sure it can't be good
@@thomaspatnode7053 oh don't worry..... it gets so much worse... but if you survive you emerge a literal god that can never be destroyed by shitty fanfic ever again
@@Sonichero151 What if the author was just a troll?
I've ignored this one for years, fearing the cringe would be too much for me to bear. It did not disappoint, what a masterpiece.
The two best parts about these is when the guys have to stifle their laughter while reading the lines, and also when the writer has to defend themselves from the people on the forum lmao
I *broke* at “lost my virility”
you survived longer than most
The fic is too good. Whoever wrote it is a genius.
losing my relilion
I lost it at "n u wil c y"
I about died at “I began to cry against the tree where I did it with draco”
This is what inspired Albert Einstein to write the bible. It’s beauty is simply unmatched; the poetic use of prose, the astonishingly nuanced character development, descriptions so vivid I can practically feel them - it’s perfect. I believe it needs to be archived in the Library of Congress. In fact, I have printed out my own personal copy which is rife with notes and annotations.
Dr3adL0rdhg this is what inspired Beethoven to work harder
this inspired sans to create undertale
this is what inspired Danny devito to invent the internet
this is what inspired Shia Lebeouf to create pepe
This is what inspired martin luther to write lord of the rings
Love how at 30:37, Draco can be seen in the movie screenshot they used for the background, as if he hadn't "died" and was just watching these two the whole time.
Can we all just collectively agree that the opening monologue is one of the most iconic in fan fiction literature history?
She skims over the story so quickly until she describes what she's wearing.
Yeahhhh... really makes you think.
i love it and then they play the duty free vlogger music in the background, and i'm still crying with laughter, i can't even see rn 😂 😂
Very American Psycho.
fuk of u prep
kodama???
I feel like a terrible person but I am still dying at the fact that she clarifies that Draco cannot die from slitting his wrists, and then he proceeds to die from slitting his wrists only like two lines later
I thought I misheard that 😂🤣
Then tuns out be alive the whole time
now thats what i like to call "talented writing"
I love how everybody in this story just slices up they’re wrist so casually.
@@beautyandtheoffbeats even the author
Came back to this masterpiece and RUclips just bombarded me with a bunch of viewer discretion is advised and warning me about self harm in this video, it’s so fucking funny
Because you would want to kill yourself a quarter of the way of watching
Yeah I kept getting warnings about self harm or suicide everytime I watch this video lol
It's a bitch filter, since there are actually some humans that would get triggered by this.
It's been 4 years now and the depiction of them "frenching" Is still the funniest shit I've ever seen.
The US government should look into using this as a method of torture.
It is rather unusual
A new challenge for MrBeast
Noriega woulda been outta there by the end of part 1.
Vincent
last to stop reading My Immortal wins $100000
I'm pretty sure that would constitute a war crime.
I'm fuckin crying every second of this is unbridled middle school angst
Unbridled middle school angst sums this up perfectly
I feel pain every time dialogue is read
@@Amfortas It definitely does, and a whole dang lot of hormones too
Jesus, there are more s@x scenes here than the entire 1st two books of Game of Thrones
@@wyvernnemecek595 I feel pain every time someone calls that... That... That thing a dialogue.
@@jippo91 I 1000% agree
Author: He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie)
Author the very next line: It was...Voldemort!
Truly one of the greatest writers of our generation.
I hope the writer is now serious and published. I hope she's read the books and finds this as funny as everyone else.
Christ she would probably go on a drinking binge trying to forget.
Jesus, I would die of cringe if I realized my self insert fan fiction would be a cult classic in internet.
For once im glad to be so self critical, at least nothing embarassing had been released and immortalized on the internet. @@Ironbattlemace
Perform the T-Pose to assert dominance over the prepz
*T*
Thou shalt...
DO THE T!
T
T
Kishibe Rohan I Refuse
I've loved this story for years. It so methodically goes against _all_ good storytelling tactics that it's absolutely hilarious
Sht up u posr mugle bich. U jus them one of prep who flame. Also I won rispond agin if u don't give me God revows.
Yeah it almost looks intentional how is this even possible
@@nolives im losing braincells just reading it
@@dancelikeumathurman8092 lol
@Wolfrost - Many people were indeed suspicious even back in the day, saying that it must have been the work of a very clever troll. However, if it was in fact deliberately written this way, whoever did it is a genius of truly epic proportions. Anyway, either the confused young girl or the diabolical troll who wrote this deserves a place of honor in the Internet Hall of Fame.
This is a bigger part of my childhood and humour than I care to admit.
I am so happy that this gets preserved like this for the future
just coming back for my yearly listen, continue on your way
Omg same! 😂😂
"I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped." is the most passive aggressive thing ever said by anyone ever.
I honestly think that she tought that sadist means someone who enjoys being sad
I guffawed so hard at that line because it's so unironically good; I guess this writer has rare moments of accidental brilliance
wonder if she meant SADDEST rather than sadist? lololol
@@theocean1973 how is this good?
*me to my shitty ex*
"Ebony's name is Enoby!"
Truly, Rowling could have never competed with such excellent writing.
General Enoby
@@amadeusagripino6862
"YOU ARE A GOFF ONE", Exclamed Genaral Vampire.
@@HunterSlayer2727 hello there
This has to be ironic right? Right?
…excellent writing? Luckily my mom’s a therapist
I love the times where in the middle of fanfics there would be author’s notes where the author would randomly give updates about their life, thank the readers for the support and give reasons why they didn’t post a chapter this time😂
Did we ever learn who wrote this?
For those who left positive reviews on the original story -we thank you for your sacrifices; you had amazing foresight
Short answer: no, and we probably never will
Long answer: ohhh boi this is a rabbit hole and a half and the reason we will never know is because so many people have lied about being the author, including someone who was trying to get a book deal out of it and someone who made hundreds of sockpuppets and wrote bible fanfic. I'm not joking, and it only gets weirder.
@@spookedblue The person ho wrote this knows it and holy fuck, they must carry a strong burden and gift at the same time
The never ending quest to find our who wrote my immortal is long and complicated. We don't know. A lot of people have claimed to write it and been disproven, multiple people with verifiable connections to the original fanfic (were liked authors or mentioned in the credits) have different stories about the author but all won't out them.
Cormac McCarthy RIP
@@spookedblue >bible fanfic
what
"Ebony is not a Mary Sue. She's not perfect."
Ebony in this same video: "Why did Satan make me so beautiful? Everyone loves me and it's awful."
Is that an actual line in the story?
Oh fuck this is worse than i thought.
Oof size: XXL
@@whenyoupulloutyourdickands4023 Yeah. She literally says "Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful? It's a fucking curse."
Enoby
Evony*
Egogy*
"Where I lost my virility to Draco"
Good god, what did he do?
Mulan's "I'll make a man out of you" but reversed.
@@ryanb6503 "Uoy fo tuo nan a ekam ll'i"?
@@ryanb6503 I’ll take a man out of you
@@LooDoesStuff ll'I ekam a nam tuo fo uoy
He, in the words of a very PC fraternity, totally crushed that puss
“Eboby” is the best mispelling I’ve ever seen in my life
The casual hate on Hillary Duff was everything
The music they play every time the author describes what they are wearing is priceless.
Btw the song is called "spring in my step"
I also love how the music descends further and further into madness in later videos
"Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what"
*Internet_Historian.exe has stopped working*
I gasped.
I grasped
@@nathanielrivera3232 At straws
@@royalblanket with paws
I love how this fanfic is ok with dropping several f-bombs and swear words, but can't even say a proper sex scene lmao.
omg when Harry said "omfg noooo! my scaaar hurrrts!" I can't 🤣😭
Every 8 to 10 months I revisit this entire epic experience! 🙏🏽
same 😭🤣
Imagine if this was the last remnant of human literature after we are long gone and it's found by the new dominant species
Let us hope they'll nevernbe able to understand English
@@kombat4135 it wouldn't help them a lot anyway.
@@alexeysaranchev6118 omfg lmaooooo
@@kombat4135 one of oldest texts, i think it's called linear A still not understood. So if we destroy anything that is english, and/or talks about this piece of art, then we are gucci.
God help us
"What is it that you want you now you despicable snobs?!"
-Dumblydore
Baal. H
Doubledoor
666 likes lel
Ha
Dumbledore
Dumblyder
I come back to this series every now and then, it has become a bit of a tradition for me to sit through them, it genuinely feels tragic that we never got to see more
I have now begun telling any appliance that even slightly malfunctions to "STOP flaming ok! You are prep."
“You’re an *immortal* Harry” - Goth Hagrid
Matsimus
HARGID.
Matsimus 😂😂😂
5 god reviews? Better start praying.
Good to see you here man.
Play airsoft
"Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful? I'm good at too many things!"
This HAS to be fake
*bruh quit flamming!*
Some say it’s a troll, some say it’s real, many believe we will never know.
The only reason I don't think it's fake is because I don't think someone would be this committed to a joke
this has to be parody.
@@paige7501 i don't know, have you read the harry potter mary sue comic series? ( with the house sparkly poo?) the difference of course is that that comic makes it obvious that is a parody, and this...the bad grammar, the answers to the reviews...i am not sure i'ts a joke...
“I’m too good at everything!”
You have done literally nothing!
I love how casually this story treats depression and self harm
Depression and self harm back then was considered "kewl" and "badass".
...actually, no, even today, there are still attention seekers who do it for clout and drama and trivializing people who actually have depression and tendencies to hurt themselves
Fun fact: during the Vietnam war, the CIA agents would often read My Immortal to captured Viet Cong leaders in hopes of drawing out information. It had a 100% success rate.
I would fucking spit my beans after "His flying Mercedes"
DRACO MALFOY, THE SON OF A DEATH EATER USING MUGGLE STUFF?
@@tale7955 "STOP THAT SHIT IMMEDIATELY, AMERICANS!! I WILL TELL YOU WHERE MY PLATOON IS HIDING, BUT PLEASE STOP THAT NONSENSE!!"
@@DonVigaDeFierro "And then Dumbledore cussed"
MY FUCKING GOD, I'LL TELL YOU HOW TO GET TO AREA 51 SAFE JUST KILL ME AFTERWARDS!
This is so false. During the Vietnam War they didn't even have Hot Topic.
Lol