My heart breaks for her. He was BEAUTIFUL. And then she lost her father weeks after. GOD please cover this family with a blanket of strength and protection.
My heart just breaks.. I’m soooooooooo so Sorry for your lost... Stay Strong. May God continue to Bless you and your Family and May God give you the strength and courage to hang in there, threw this difficult time..
My heart bleeds for any parent that has lost a child. My only daughter had cancer at 16 and died at 18. And 14 years later I miss my baby girl just as much as I ever have. Its the worst feeling in the world. Something never heals. But your strength making this video is beautiful xx
🥲🥲 I’m so sorry hun I lost my sister she was 25 but you’re so right a mothers pain will never go away my mom hurts so much and has been put on depression medication
I’m so sorry Jen. I can’t imagine the pain. It’s not right. I get so angry about all the money our society wastes on stupid things. Like going to the moon, we should be staying here curing our children. Fixing their suffering. Sorry to rant. Childhood Cancer deserves a cure more than anything else. God bless you and your family.
I am so sorry for your pain, I have tears right now, you will see your little angel again! Revelation 21:3,4 is a guarantee of it , you are do brave for sharing this , God bless your family 💕
.....and McCoy’s big sister as well, very sadly it’s an unimaginable loss, and also a different loss for each one of this family’s members. I don’t know if it gets easier or better at first, especially with constant reminders around the house. It just becomes a different, unexpected and new kind of normal and one with which you learn coping skills that make you stronger to help ease you into your days. When a heart 💔 breaks it’s to make room for more love to come in..as it makes life just a wee bit sweeter... like salt on 🍉 watermelon!
I’ve known parents who have had stillbirths and miscarriages and I always notice the same silence that comes from the fathers...the same look in their eyes...they don’t need to say anything. Its the same pain, the same grief as a mothers, but it tugs at my heart a little more. As a woman I just want to scream “say it!” Because its like they have ten million thoughts but nothing comes out, but this is how a lot of men grieve and its not for us to judge if its healthy or not 😭
Amanda Charlebois The fathers are the ones who stay beside their wives, hold back their hair when they have morning sickness, hold them when they cry, cheer when they see the xrays and hear the heartbeat. They go out and get whatever weird cravings their wife may have, sit through the mood swings because they know not to take it personal, they go to work worrying about if their wife falls, or god forbid anything happens to that child they created TOGETHER. Just because he didn’t carry that child or go through the same changes doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel that heart wrenching feeling of losing a child. If anything, he may wish he had been able to form such a wonderful bond with the child. But instead, almost as soon as he fell in love with that baby, it passed away. It’s an ignorant thing to say that the father can’t feel as horrible as the mother.
@@youdidwhat7530 As a woman who has not given birth or had a child yet (one day in the future I hope) I can say it is definitely NOT the same thing. She carried the child inside her body for 9 months it is HER body that brings forth life and it is HER body that can bring forth death. Her body provided everything to sustain a human life that wound up turning into a graveyard and a machine of death killing her child and the situation could've also killed her too. Now how the hell is this the same thing to what the father is experiencing?? Was his life at risk too? Is his body capable of carrying life in it and is it also capable of being a death machine too?? I'm sorry it is NOT the same thing. Sure he's grieving any father would that's his son but it's not even on the same playing field as the mother. What a stupid ignorant thing to say.
As a mother to twin boys that died 3 hours apart after birth I can relate to this depth of loss...times two. My husband and I both grieved together... my husband fell apart emotionally and cried harder than I'd ever seen him cry in his life. My heart goes out to these parents and I pray that someday they will be able to move forward and have another child. 3 years after the birth and death of our twins I gave birth to a healthy baby girl and she is the joy of our lives. She is everything we ever imagined and more.. though we will always grieve for the babies we lost, we are deeply grateful for the one we received. In time your hearts will scab over. Though they may never heal completely you'll find that you can live again with joy and happiness. God Bless and keep you strong for your daughter and future children.
Thank you for sharing this, I can relate. I bet it helped so many in your shoes! So happy to hear about your daughter and that you are healing and still together! This says so much about your love for one another- you need each others strength to rely upon and at times one is stronger than the other of us. Wishing you a beautiful, healthy future!
I didn’t think I would ever smile again after our son died at 5 and a half months old from SIDS. It changes you completely in a more compassionate way. I wish you the very best.
I absolutely love their generosity through their son's death. It really does help him live on, in a form. When our 4 month old son passed in 2010, we donated his heart valves and they went to a baby girl who was 6 days old, and we'd do it again because that parent didn't have go through what we did and it makes it so worth it.
@@-gabe-8070 You're completely fine. He passed from SIDS. I've scoured his autopsy report (several times) and everything was within range of normal, so for whatever reason, he just stopped breathing and passed.
@@whimsicalrootshomestead9789 My baby boy passed of sids as well on Sept of 2018, he was 2 months old with our babysitter took a nap after his bottle and never woke up. What help you cope with it, I know I curse the hell out of god for this unfairness.
@@-gabe-8070 Was he your first? Had I not had a child before Chase, there is a very high chance that we'd not have had another. It's hard. You never get over it, but over time it gets a little easier to cope. We lost our 2nd son 2 weeks after our first son's birthday, so it's a very bittersweet month for us. I feel it brought me closer to God, but it did take a while for that too. My best advice for you, if you're able, is to pick a hobby and focus any negative energy on that and turn it around for the sake of the betterment.
@@whimsicalrootshomestead9789 Yeah I’m trying to take this negative energy away, but it’s hard, but on top of that my dad passed away in 2016 but he was battling health issues. But I know he is taking care of my son, but no I do have a 6 yr old girl, for whatever reason most sids happens to boys with all the research I was doing.
@@bananaslin Women dont create life without men. No man I know would want to go through the heartbreaking pain of losing a child. Please be respectful.
I'm so sorry for your loss of your beautiful son, McCoy. I lost all 4 of my children between 6-24weeks of pregnancy. I understand your agony. So many thoughts, tears and hugs from Micah's Alison's Heidi's and Noah's Forever Mama!!!!
You don't know the sex of a baby at 6 weeks gestation, so how do you know what to name them? As a Midwife I know that's true. I lost 2 separate pregnancies at 8 weeks, a twin pregnancy at 12 weeks , and another at 20 Weeks. I know how painful that is. We were ,then , blessed with 2 healthy and wonderful sons, born 4 years apart
Sitting here at age 61 with tears streaming down my face. How well I remember losing my son over 25 years ago. I’m just so very sorry for your loss. I am living proof that the pain does get better and that eventually you find a new normal. You will survive. It won’t always hurt this bad. It just takes times. Love and Prayers to your entire family. Hang in there mom and dad. Hold each other close.
Awww sending you lots of hugs. We also lost our 26 days old baby girl in May 2018. Pain does get lighter but never fades away . Couldn’t stop my tears 😭 while watching .
I was thinking of having a home birth, then I watched this and decided to have my baby in hospital. This was the best decision for me as she got stuck and I needed a emergency C-section.
The troubles encountered from non hospital births were a very large cause for child and mom morbidity and mortality through out human history. That’s why NO OBGYNE doctor recommends home births. they may be respectful of people’s wishes, but it’s very risky. Only those who don’t know how these numbers and don’t see such outcomes would recommend a home birth. Many home births can go well. But if you have an issue like shoulder dystocia or heavy bleeding you may have death or brain damage etc before you can even reach a hospital. Where as these issues are commonly encountered in a hospital setting and processes are in place to deal with them. I am an anesthesiologist so we deal with these issues all the time with our OB GYNE colleagues. Although I understand the covid pandemic and its issues made things hard in many ways for birthing moms
@@nt8894 You can still die in hospitals.. for woman of color a home birth is much much much safer then a hospital. Also you have to remember a hospital is a business so of course they are going to push you to go to the hospital for a birth instead of a midwife.. in a hospital they would also push for a c section and tell you that the baby is stuck or something like "your too short to have a baby naturally" one of my friends had that happen to her.. they gave her a c section because she was "too short" which isn't true
@@jaynecrafter2684 In some cases these may be true. But for the vast majority it is not true. To decide, look at just mortality before hospitals were in place. Like rural Afghanistan. Where it’s close to 27%. That percentage is less than 1% in a US hospital. The overall statistics is what to look at. Not anecdotal sampling
@@nt8894 Its almost always the case other then for high risk pregnancies and actual real complications.. doctors are very quick to rush people into a c section even if its the smallest of complications which a midwife can fix
When I lost my son at 13 days old, telling my grandparents was the hardest part. Seeing my grandpa cry for the first time in my life, over the death of my son, shattered me. It's been almost 13 years and they're both gone now, but remembering seeing him sitting at the table crying still makes me cry.
How generous you were in your grief, to think how McCoy helped other children, other families that don’t have to go through the same because of his gift. Love to you all x
My daughter was stillborn in 86...Two years later I had another daughter. She’s the light of my life. Still you always love and yearn for the baby you lost. 💘
He was a big boy, god bless his little soul. My grandmother gave birth to a stillborn full term boy, the cord wrapped around his neck. It was hard on her but she finally moved on to have more children. I'm sorry for their pain amd I pray they heal.
We were adoptive parents and never had the opportunity to have breast milk for our baby. I am absolutely honored to think that you did this for someone even in the middle of your pain. In the many years since that time, we have needed to sometimes pay love forward in the middle of tragedy. It has been the singular watershed act that kept us sane. You are not alone. God keeps our tears in His bottle in heaven.
I’m heartbroken for this family. I had **no** idea this situation could cause death. My daughters shoulder got caught up on my pelvic bone (later to find out my hips were fused at the joint due to a break when I was younger) and I was crowning when the midwife realized what was going on. I got rushed to a c-section and they needed three people to pull my daughter out of the birth canal she was so wedged in there. I then crashed/flatlined on the table (I had pulled my epidural line out while pushing in labor and I went into shock from the pain of feeling the surgery). The baby was over 9lbs and would up being fine - she is now 18 and in college.
I had to have an emergency c section after 4 days of labor and 1 hour of pushing because of the same reason 6 years ago. My son was 9.6lb and I am 5.3 and 135lb. My son was crowning and his heart was racing. My doctor put her whole hand in my cervix and she decided no, we need to take this baby out through c section. My baby was on oxygen for a day because of the respiratory distress which is pretty common with big babies.
This pandemic has affected people in more ways than most of us realize. He was such a chunky healthy little guy. I can't imagine the pain this family has had to endure. Nursing still to help other babies shows just how strong a momma is. She is stronger than I could ever be. My condolences to your family. ❤️
After a long day of single parenting and getting frustrated, this made me go on and kiss my kids and remind them how much I love them. Life can be too short sometimes. The cried and cried at this couples loss.... Excruciating and no one's fault.
Keep up the good work I myself know it’s really hard I’ve even cried before and it’s ok to take a min to yourself and let it out but just know it won’t always be hard and their will be beautiful times that will overshadow the hard times🙂
As I wipe the tears streaming down my face, I applaude this family for their strength and undeniable family bond. Thank you for sharing your story with the masses. May God continue to grant you bountiful blessings. Thank you for finding the beauty in everyday life and being so courageous and kind
Accepting life is much stronger than accepting death. When we make bad choice or we often get frustration saying I want to die or leave me alone or life is shit is actually inviting death while living physically. My love goes to this family.bless you all
As a mom, I can’t imagine the pain I had had my baby in the NICU for nine days, not knowing what the outcome was going to be .It was torture. I am blessed today to have my baby girl. I am so sorry for your loss. You’re in my prayers.
@@boredweegie553 Seriously? 🤷🏼♀️People like you will NEVER cease to amaze me! Was it absolutely necessary for you to add that? Did it make you feel better? I would NEVER even THINK about say something that fk’ing shallow to my own family members, let alone a complete stranger! You don’t know this woman personally or if the daddy is in even the picture! Did your mom not teach you to think before spoke? More & more women now days are using donors to have babies because their biological clock is ticking, they haven’t found “the one” yet AND/OR they’re just tired of being hurt by men but have ALWAYS longed to be a mother! It’s not your place to put YOUR words in HER mouth & the bottom line is by doing so you’re being extremely disrespectful! 🤬
4 года назад+140
I went through that too with my first born son, he lost 10 minutes of oxygen to his brain & died 9 months later, my husband & I we're devastated! However, three months after we found out I was pregnant again, & that second son was born on my husband's birthday! It will be painful but u will have another angel coming ur way at the right time!🌷🤗
Glynis Joseph so sorry for your loss ♥️ I’m thankful you got your rainbow baby 🌈 I know it seems like it’s an eternity away but hold on to the promise that you will see him again sooner than you think ♥️ a literal lifetime to us is just the blink of an eye in Heaven 😘 that’s what I’m holding on to in my darkest days too
I'm so sad McCoy's not around to spend time with his parents and sister. However, it's a beautiful gift to share his organs and be a ray of hope for other families.
I lost our beautiful daughter Hollie,26 years ago, still feels like yesterday,v8lb 3 ounces perfect little girl, who was taken from us, god bless you both xx
@@MrTinkti agree. I respect everyone decisions but the best and safest place to have a baby is at the hospital. 1 min cannot be lost during delivery. Sorry for her lost. I know that is a terrible, deep and unforgettable moment. RIP little prince.
My god, absolutely in tears........ These parents are strong to be able to speak about this experience. And shame on any of you that are passing judgement on this mom and dad. RIP beautiful baby boy. And I think it is amazing that these parents passed on his life to another baby. That is truly amazing.
30 weeks pregnant with my son right now.... i can't even imagine this pain. My heart goes out to you two. Thankful you two have one another to lean on. There is no words to make the pain go away, life is just so unpredictable and we are here to experience all different types of emotions and experiences. I'm so sorry.
As I was contemplating a scolding post about having your baby at home, I realized it's not as important as having empathy. I'm sorry you lost your child. And I am reminded yet again, how blessed I am to have my children. I cannot imagine your pain.
I know how you feel , but with the pandemic , a diagnosed normal pregnancy with no cause for concern , it being her second baby and the birth complication being extremely rare and unpredicted . It was just an unfortunate circumstance. The same result could of happened at a hospital , you can't do a c section with a babies head out of the birth canal by my knowledge , to soft a skull to push backwards.
Lots of people with uneventful pregnancies have their babies at home easily and successfully. This truly was just a perfect storm of tragedy. 💔The same could have happened even at a hospital. Once the baby's head is out, it is almost impossible to go back. 😔
Drew Darren I’ve had 3 home births that went perfectly fine. Speaking from personal experience, the NICU is filled with many babies who were born in the hospital and not all are preemies so please keep an open mind and do not judge parents for their decision. I am happy that regardless of how you felt, you realized that empathy was more important that your opinion on where a mom gives birth
The baby was very large, I can’t believe the doctor didn’t notice. My daughter was 9 pounds and even without an ultrasound my doctor did an internal exam and told me flat out I would never be able to push her out. And she was right. My heart breaks for them. And now her Dad is with him. It’s just so sad.
Tomara Smith I just meant that by my doctor doing a quick exam, she could tell my chances personally were slim since I have a small frame and I had Gestational Diabetes ( so they knew her shoulders were very broad) So obviously in my case , it was an easy guess. I was the opposite of this situation since I had sizing ultrasounds all the time. Many women can successfully deliver large babies. But I’m sure if her doctor had known how large the baby was , they would have not recommended a home birth. I think her doctors failed her here.
gega7 I saw. You don’t need an ultrasound to see how large a baby’s head and shoulders are. When the baby is low, you can feel it. Shoulder Dystocia could happen with a smaller baby but it’s very rare. Especially since she had no other risk factors for it ( she has already had a successful vaginal delivery, she is a normal weight ) I don’t how she was measuring, what exams were done. She may have had undiagnosed diabetes or just a large babu. It happens. But knowing she wanted a home birth , she should have had an exam to make sure she was still a candidate. I am a victim of negligence by several doctors and thankfully I was the one who suffered and not my baby. But I almost lost my life because Doctors can get complacent. Doctors also saved my life and I have immense respect for them , especially right now. I personally think in this case her doctors could have done more knowing she wanted a home birth. Birth is a natural process but unfortunately it can be dangerous. It’s very sad. And it could have been avoided. But I hope doctors and Mothers who are considering a home birth , remember this story and that by her sharing it , it can save a life.
Hi! I wonder, is it really standard in the US to have the last ultrasound at 20 weeks? That doesnt make any sense, because how will you check the biophysical scoring of the baby, or the level of your amniotic fluid at 37-38 weeks? Isnt that in the guidelines of prenatal care? The baby was big, that couldve been seen in the ultrasound.. although her pelvis wouldve been deemed adequate given shes delivered vaginally before... but seeing the size of the baby couldve been an indication to do CS. Im not from the US. But our standard prenatal care always includes an ultrasound nearing delivery. Just so you can check last minute. This is sad :(
I still don't know what to say. When I gave birth to our son and he died few hours after, my whole being was shattered. My husband and I were the only one who knew how great of a loss we had to endure. It's been 5months now, and I'm still in deep pain and sorrow. When you said healthy baby, that's what we've been praying too. I guess with what happened, our sons can't be healthy and they are better off in heaven although it pains me to the core but I just see this as a consolation. Our house is still very empty and quite. I hope you all the best despite everything.
I'm so sorry for your loss, Liz. Check out the You Tube series of Amber and Granger Smith. They lost their son, River (long story) but it's a story of faith and hope. One day at a time
As I watched the end. I could feel this chills overcome my arms like a hug of feeling loved. God listens to those broken hearted and he listens to this mother's cries. The love you give will be given much more from the father in Heaven.
In the last year, I've heard of two cases of shoulder dystocia that resulted in hypoxia and death. Both happened in the hospital. So please don't add to this family's grief by questioning their decision. I'm sure they're doing enough of that themselves.
I know!! In a world driven to panic by the media fueled hysteria over this virus she thought she was doing the best thing to protect her son. When all this crap hit the fan that was the first thing I said "if I was pregnant I'd be doing a home birth!" It was a very rational decision to make.
@@lizmyers469 oh, don't you worry pumpkin, I've done more research on home birth AND hospital birth than you can begin to dream of. I can recommend some books if you're interested.
Rachael Windemuller really?? I’ve been attending these births as a NICU nurse for almost 20 years at a large hospital, and I have never seen a shoulder dystocia death.
Kristen H what’s with nurses and gaslighting women who choose home birth? When it’s convenient they like to say they’ve never seen a death and when it’s convenient they’ll say they experience death all the time... not to discount your experiences but what happened to this mother could’ve (and does) happened to anyone at anytime. women shouldn’t be judged or shamed for how THEY chose to give birth.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I didn't even know how blessed I am because I just had my baby with shoulder dystocia. The pain when they tried to get her out was HELLISH but I'm glad we have our little princess 😔💗. You are heroes Kara and Kyle. Rest in peace little man
Thank God your sweet girl is OK! Hearing stories of couples that have lost their children breaks my heart and makes me just want to hold my kids tighter and be sure I don't take for granted all the little things!
That's so nice to hear. A year later also wow. Reminds me of when I had a missed miscarriage. I found out that the baby had no heartbeat on the 19th March, my son was born the year after on 19th March.
I lost my daughter to a cord accident just a week before she was to be born. I know you feel as though everything is enveloped in a fog and I know it seems like you will feel this devastated forever. But, I promise you, there will be a day when things start to shift and you can see some light peeking in. Like you, we had a daughter waiting for her baby sister to come home. Lean on her, see her light, let her make you smile and laugh. She will be a big sister some day. I went on to have two more kids. I got pregnant with my son within two months of losing our daughter. I knew he was being watched by his guardian angel. He helped save our lives. You will have a baby and you will never forget McCoy. You’ll wonder about how he’d look, what he’d be interested in, but you will find the strength to rise up in those moments knowing he’s with your dad in a beautiful place. Take all the time you need to grieve any way you feel is best for you. Take care of your beautiful daughter who will forever remember she’s special because her brother is an angel. Stay well and healthy in preparation for the little girl who will be born on a Thursday ❤️🦋
Lisa, I lost my daughter to a cord accident as well, three weeks before my scheduled induction, and my son to infection a year and two weeks later (5 weeks before my scheduled induction). My kids were 8&9 and 9&10 at the time. Your words are so true. The light will come again. ❤️❤️💪🏻
I'm so sorry for your loss. My best friend lost her baby girl the day of her c-section. They went to put the monitors on and they could find her heartbeat. Ultrasound confirmed she passed. She did feel her kick about 3 hours before. The doctor confirmed it was a cord accident and she is prone to long umbilical cords. 17 months later she had a little boy and he was healthy and he's 17 months today.
Beautiful message. I cried reading it. I don't have children, but my heart hurts so much reading this. I want to have children, I don't have a husband yet , but I'm so scared to bring kids into this world. There are so many things that could happen. But i find comforts in your words because you are incredibly strong and you went thru the most painful of all pains. 💔
What she said was so beautiful, "now when she hears her daughter laugh or make sounds it is so much more meaningful, and the watermelon seems even sweeter, she has a spirit that is truly blessed with large heart. That is all anyone could ever hope to have in this life. Nothing else truly matters, love is the greatest spirit of all! SHE..... IS LOVE
I’m so sorry we share the same pain. Our story is so devastatingly similar. We lost our son Augusto July 6, 2020 the day after he was born. May both our angels RIP. 🙏🏼👼🏻👼🏻
I am truly sorry Guilia. It is not fair. It's not okay. I am not going to use the c-word. (also called closure). Because that is something that is unable to be achieved. But I truly hope that you and your family find peace.
This is truly heartbreaking and so brave for Kara and her husband to share this, can't imagine what a difficult time they are going through especially with the virus making it more complicated. Huge respect to the hospital for making an exception during a time of grieving and heartbreak for the family, they will remember that forever
I’m like sobbing so bad right now. I have a four month old and I cannot even fathom what these parents are going through with the loss of their son. My heart goes out to them
It's a horrible feeling, and very stressful when having another child. I lost my first born at home, we woke up and he had passed (due to doctors ignoring our concerns...)
CandaceK You think it's heartbreaking???? Are u stupid or something? Have you ever thought exactly how blessed you would be if you ever buried a baby into the graveyard? Have you ever thought about it? This couple should think about it. In this world many babies have been buried. Many have been buried. But the people are very grateful and they thank God at the end of the day for their blessed loss. When you lose a baby think about how much peace there is in your home? No more crying, you don't hear your baby voice. You can sleep peacefully. Without having to wake up. When you wake up your sleep is disturbed. And so then you don't get the proper rest that you need. So when you lose a baby you should be thankful you should bend on your knees and tell God exactly how grateful/thankful you are for letting God take ur baby away from you and taking that baby from this world. You should do that because in this life there is peace but some people don't see that. You might be too blind to see it. But this question is for the couple that has lost their baby in the video. Just answer it and let me know. Thank God Amen
@@JillKirchner I absolutely disagree with you God takes away babies from those people who are spoiled with take an advantage of life. But however burying a baby is not so hard and it's considered a blessing.
"the depth at which one suffers...correlates directly to the height at which one feels JOY"...thank you so much for sharing your beautiful, McCoy & your beautiful family with the world - THE DEPTH of suffering goes no deeper - therefore the HEIGHT OF JOY goes no higher - may GOD bless you all FOREVER & EVER
'Because of what we are going through everything is now sweeter' Wow that is so inspirational bless them all and their beautiful baby angel now in heaven 😢😔
The amount of strength that a parent has to be able to keep their child alive for organ donation.... I have watched this a time or 2 bit now.....looking back....not COVID but the pressure it put on the family & it was only the beginning. I watched Kara on TV. My husband father's played MLB. Kara's father, now passed was a famous MLB player. He had an unfortunate situation while on the field causing TBI, traumatic brain injury, which I have from a motorcycle accident (car couldn't wait about .001 seconds to make a turn). My heart and seeing it again 💔💔 Her, McCoy's Mother, healthy baby boy💔💔💔💔
This happened to my mother and dad in 1957. So horrible. I don’t think my mom ever truly got over this. Back then they did not have ventilators. I was 5 years old and never truly understood why my baby brother never came home from the hospital. My mom said he was an angel and went to Heaven. They we would go to the cemetery, put flowers on his grave. I did not understand this. Heart breaking.
It is heartbreaking. Imagine all the joy and excitement of expecting a baby and then to leave the hospital empty handed. That has to be the most hollow feeling in the world.
It's especially heartbreaking knowing how preventable this was. Just seeing the photo of her holding him, he was WAY beyond the size of a typical newborn. In a traditional hospital setting, that probably would have been caught early on and a c-section ordered.
That is the worst pain in the world, a parent losing their child. It breaks my heart that you both are feeling that heart piercing pain right now. Your son, McCoy, IS a beautiful boy!
This is heartbreaking. I lost my daughter Kelsey on 7-31-97, she was stillborn. Not a day goes by that I do not think about her. Sending love and prayers to the family.
Just had a stillbirth @ 7months I really don’t know how to feel Maybe if there was a medical explanation I guess I would feel better!😭 Nothing thugs at your emotions compared to your child! It’s easier to accept anything that could have happened to you personally, but not your child! Mhhhhhhhh God help me 🙌🏽🥲🥹🥹
Your story brought tears to my eyes momma. I can’t even begin to imagine this kind of pain and heartache you are experiencing. As a mother of two my heart ached to hear this. I pray you experience peace and healing in it’s perfect time. ❤️
What a beautiful line "its like putting salt on watermelon it somehow makes it sweeter" in reference to her daughter who is helping her get through this struggle
God bless this family. Such a powerful, powerful story. So thankful to see that they still have hope to keep living, especially after such a hard loss. Sweet baby is waiting in heaven. 👼🏻💙
It’s the most horrible pain you can imagine, a part of you is gone. I lost my daughter 4 years ago , she was 19 and it still seems unreal. That’s 19 years of memories, being a baby to first steps to first school days and so on. All the time you can hear their little voice telling you I love you mommy and knowing you’re family is not there same anymore, all your family pics will be minus one child. It’s an unexplainable feeling that only someone who’s had the same loss can understand.
My stomach fully dropped when she got emotional and talked about the umbilical cord being white. I'm an expecting mama (my first,) after suffering a miscarriage at 18 weeks. I know what my grief felt like, and I can't imagine how much worse it felt for them. I'm gutted. And I just saw the part about them making the choice to donate the organs and the milk...that touches my heart as a transplant nurse. This all hits too close to home and now I am sobbing.
@ yes. Agree. Don’t watch stuff like this at this time. Surround your baby with beauty and uplifting atmosphere.
4 года назад+1
@@catherinegrace2366 I want to. But i have to slay a dragon first. The mother's love for her child is so strong, that no amount of evil will ever do her harm....BECAUSE a real mother will protect her child. Keep your baby safe. Always.💕
All 3 of my babies were born and their umbilical cords were white? Aren’t they supposed to be before they clamp? Or does she mean as in it was white so therefore baby wasn’t getting any oxygen or anything else while he was stuck?
Please don't try to compare your loss with others. I lost my son at 8 days old after a clean bill of health when discharged. Just because I experienced this loss does not mean yours is any less significant or traumatic.
That's exactly why this happened. He was too big. In a hospital, they would have seen that & got him out immediately. Babies over 10 pounds are extremely high risk deliveries and likely will have to come out via c-section. He was over 11 lbs and should have been a c-section birth. This was so preventable.
I had the same nurse midwife for 3 of my births. The first two had broken collarbones and I was told to be extra careful to not move their shoulder and they all started out life in pain. Then when the 3rd one was born and it happened again, I was fuming . A senior nurse told me that the midwife I had always had broke collarbones with most of the babies she delivered. That she used the same maneuver getting the babies out, and that this was a "normal thing" to have happen. I am so very sorry that this shoulder dystocia happened with your precious son, my heart goes out to you...
how is she still practicing if this is known surely the technique shouldn't be used. i had 3 home births and my children came out without needing to be bought out i dont get whats happening to cause the injury. im so sorry for what youve been through post partum is difficult already just to heal and adjust to a newborn let alone one with broken bones
I found out in my 20's that I have an old shoulder fracture from childbirth. I asked my mother and she had no idea what I was talking about. All she said was "no wonder u were so pissed when u came out" 😂. Im so sorry that u and your babies had to go through that. I hope that the midwife is no longer able to practice. I know that nothing can take away your family's pain but U should have been compensated in some way. Happy holidays to u and your beautiful family!!!! 🙏🏽💞
I'm curious as to why you continued to use the same midwife after the first time and most definitely after the second occurrence? I'm sincerely asking, not judging at all. I'm so sorry you and your babies went through that. My youngest had a rough start in life also. It was for different reasons but she spent her first month in the NICU.
@@tiredofthebs8290 I was just 18 with my first one and on my own. When it happened twice, I was suspicious, but still thought it might be a normal part of the birthing process. I also had very large babies and difficult births. When it happened with the third one, that's when I complained and found out she did it all the time with her deliveries. I don't know what ended up happening with her as I never went back and used a different hospital.
Sincere sadness for what happened to these parents...I cried watching this because 27 years ago i almost lost my daughter the same way....I feel so bad that their situation didn’t end the way mine did....and they didn’t get to bring their son home. i can still relate somewhat to their loss, because I lost 2 babies before my daughter....I know I will keep this family in my prayers for quite some time...and i’m also so sorry you had to lose your father, as well....It’s wonderful that McCoy could he a hero and save other babies lives....no matter how long a person lives...they had value, they were real, and they will be missed forever and never forgotten. Much love to this family
This is heartbreaking. I’m so thankful they chose to donate his organs and save other babies and keep more parents from grieving the way they were. He is a hero. He was sent to save others. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I’m here for you girl I understand how you feel. I was 24 weeks pregnant. I had an infection a hormone infection that me and my baby come early. He stayed alive for hour and a half December 21, 2018. I miss him dearly to this day, but I take day by day, I still miss him but it gets a little bit better. He’s in heaven and your baby boys in heaven to stay strong girl.
When I was 14 my aunt lost her baby girl (her second child). She would end up only have two boys. I was told that her shoulder was ripped out by a vacuum deliver and she died 3 hours later. I had no idea what shoulder dystocia was until I watch this video and now I know the medically what happened to her. Improper vacuum delivery caused or exacerbated shoulder dystocia causing internal bleeding and her death 3 hours later. It’s heartbreaking and my prayers go out to them.
My son was born sunny side up, meaning he was face toward the ceiling rather than face down which causes the baby to push against the tail bone and make delivery very difficult. I was in labor 27 hours with about 20 of those pushing. My tailbone never cracked, which makes the baby able to come out. They used the vacuum thing on my son and his head was so stretched I thought there was no way he would recover. But he was okay. I did not know until afterwards that there are many cases of the head of an infant being ripped open or even completely ripped from the body. During the delivery the doctor walked over and shut off my video camera because he knew there was a chance something terrible may occur and they did not want it to be on tape. As far as I know they don't use the vacuum anymore. I can't imagine something more horrific.
42 years ago my in laws went through this too. My husband is the rainbow baby after his brother along with 3 additional siblings. Mama's do what they gotta do and I'm sure it'll take a long time but the days will get easier. Only God knows why he send the babies on a completely different path.
Every tear you cry..God holds in His Hand….You never left my side and tho my heart is torn… I will praise you in this Storm….beautiful words from a beautiful song about faith in God when we encounter trials in our lives……God bless this precious family and help them to know their precious child is onYour arms and that this is only a temporary separation..they will rejoice one day in Heaven with their beautiful baby boy..God bless them and bring them great peace knowing this🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏
What a sweet little baby boy. He looked so perfect. Grandpa is with him and McCoy will be keeping him busy. Sending love and healing thought to all moms and dads out there!! ❤️
I'm currently balling. You have no idea how much your story is so stunning and powerful. It's probably the most powerfully emotional thing humans can go through, and to share it how and like you did brings a wave of testiment to you as parents. Greif is something we never understand bc it takes away all that we love. I was pregnant 7 months when my mom died. Hardest thing in my life. But I watch videos like yours and remind myself to keep humble. I'll close with I'm so sorry for your loss. Truly
![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
My heart breaks for her. He was BEAUTIFUL. And then she lost her father weeks after. GOD please cover this family with a blanket of strength and protection.
Amen🙏🏼
i empathize with them both since they both lost the baby.
Amen! She and her family is going to need all the strength, positivity and TRUE PRAYERS they can get.
My heart just breaks.. I’m soooooooooo so Sorry for your lost... Stay Strong. May God continue to Bless you and your Family and May God give you the strength and courage to hang in there, threw this difficult time..
@@angelajohnson1005 bless her family with what
My heart bleeds for any parent that has lost a child. My only daughter had cancer at 16 and died at 18. And 14 years later I miss my baby girl just as much as I ever have. Its the worst feeling in the world. Something never heals. But your strength making this video is beautiful xx
😢🙏🏼
Omg. I can’t imagine and I’m so so sorry. ❤️
🥲🥲 I’m so sorry hun I lost my sister she was 25 but you’re so right a mothers pain will never go away my mom hurts so much and has been put on depression medication
Same for me, my boy died when he was 18 from Ewing's sarcoma - 26 years on, we have missed so much and the missing goes on still.
I’m so sorry Jen. I can’t imagine the pain. It’s not right. I get so angry about all the money our society wastes on stupid things. Like going to the moon, we should be staying here curing our children. Fixing their suffering. Sorry to rant. Childhood Cancer deserves a cure more than anything else. God bless you and your family.
oh my heart that baby donated his little organs too. God bless his soul. crying here ;(
Hugs.
I am so sorry for your pain, I have tears right now, you will see your little angel again! Revelation 21:3,4 is a guarantee of it , you are do brave for sharing this , God bless your family 💕
You can tell that dad is still going through it so hard. Love and prayers to all of them💜
No! The dad doesn’t give a rats a$$, he just wants his dik stroked again.
Her husband’s silence is deafening, in my opinion. My heart breaks for both of them 😭 and for all parents who have lost a child
The husband talks here. Why do you think he didn't?
I understand what you mean. I am the quiet one in our relationship. It is maddening to some but everyone mourns/grieves differently.
Yes he is broken
People grieve in different ways, don't let his emotions not being on his sleeve make you think he isn't distraught.
.....and McCoy’s big sister as well, very sadly it’s an unimaginable loss, and also a different loss for each one of this family’s members. I don’t know if it gets easier or better at first, especially with constant reminders around the house. It just becomes a different, unexpected and new kind of normal and one with which you learn coping skills that make you stronger to help ease you into your days. When a heart 💔 breaks it’s to make room for more love to come in..as it makes life just a wee bit sweeter... like salt on 🍉 watermelon!
The poor dad.. you can see he's been keeping strong for too long
I’ve known parents who have had stillbirths and miscarriages and I always notice the same silence that comes from the fathers...the same look in their eyes...they don’t need to say anything. Its the same pain, the same grief as a mothers, but it tugs at my heart a little more. As a woman I just want to scream “say it!” Because its like they have ten million thoughts but nothing comes out, but this is how a lot of men grieve and its not for us to judge if its healthy or not 😭
Katherine Brown it usually not healthy though.
Amanda Charlebois The fathers are the ones who stay beside their wives, hold back their hair when they have morning sickness, hold them when they cry, cheer when they see the xrays and hear the heartbeat. They go out and get whatever weird cravings their wife may have, sit through the mood swings because they know not to take it personal, they go to work worrying about if their wife falls, or god forbid anything happens to that child they created TOGETHER. Just because he didn’t carry that child or go through the same changes doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel that heart wrenching feeling of losing a child. If anything, he may wish he had been able to form such a wonderful bond with the child. But instead, almost as soon as he fell in love with that baby, it passed away. It’s an ignorant thing to say that the father can’t feel as horrible as the mother.
@Amanda Charlebois .You need to calm down..
@@youdidwhat7530 As a woman who has not given birth or had a child yet (one day in the future I hope) I can say it is definitely NOT the same thing. She carried the child inside her body for 9 months it is HER body that brings forth life and it is HER body that can bring forth death. Her body provided everything to sustain a human life that wound up turning into a graveyard and a machine of death killing her child and the situation could've also killed her too. Now how the hell is this the same thing to what the father is experiencing?? Was his life at risk too? Is his body capable of carrying life in it and is it also capable of being a death machine too?? I'm sorry it is NOT the same thing. Sure he's grieving any father would that's his son but it's not even on the same playing field as the mother. What a stupid ignorant thing to say.
As a mother to twin boys that died 3 hours apart after birth I can relate to this depth of loss...times two. My husband and I both grieved together... my husband fell apart emotionally and cried harder than I'd ever seen him cry in his life. My heart goes out to these parents and I pray that someday they will be able to move forward and have another child. 3 years after the birth and death of our twins I gave birth to a healthy baby girl and she is the joy of our lives. She is everything we ever imagined and more.. though we will always grieve for the babies we lost, we are deeply grateful for the one we received. In time your hearts will scab over. Though they may never heal completely you'll find that you can live again with joy and happiness. God Bless and keep you strong for your daughter and future children.
Wow. You must really struggle. I can imagine this with one child but with two. I feel really bad for you
Thank you for sharing this, I can relate. I bet it helped so many in your shoes! So happy to hear about your daughter and that you are healing and still together! This says so much about your love for one another- you need each others strength to rely upon and at times one is stronger than the other of us. Wishing you a beautiful, healthy future!
God bless you too. Thank you for sharing.
I’m so sorry you lost your twins. Hugs to you
I’m so sorry.
I didn’t think I would ever smile again after our son died at 5 and a half months old from SIDS. It changes you completely in a more compassionate way. I wish you the very best.
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you find/have found healing. 💙
Wow. Sorry to hear. I can't imagine losing either kid.
I absolutely love their generosity through their son's death. It really does help him live on, in a form. When our 4 month old son passed in 2010, we donated his heart valves and they went to a baby girl who was 6 days old, and we'd do it again because that parent didn't have go through what we did and it makes it so worth it.
How did your son pass, if you don’t mind me asking
@@-gabe-8070 You're completely fine. He passed from SIDS. I've scoured his autopsy report (several times) and everything was within range of normal, so for whatever reason, he just stopped breathing and passed.
@@whimsicalrootshomestead9789
My baby boy passed of sids as well on Sept of 2018, he was 2 months old with our babysitter took a nap after his bottle and never woke up. What help you cope with it, I know I curse the hell out of god for this unfairness.
@@-gabe-8070 Was he your first? Had I not had a child before Chase, there is a very high chance that we'd not have had another. It's hard. You never get over it, but over time it gets a little easier to cope. We lost our 2nd son 2 weeks after our first son's birthday, so it's a very bittersweet month for us. I feel it brought me closer to God, but it did take a while for that too. My best advice for you, if you're able, is to pick a hobby and focus any negative energy on that and turn it around for the sake of the betterment.
@@whimsicalrootshomestead9789
Yeah I’m trying to take this negative energy away, but it’s hard, but on top of that my dad passed away in 2016 but he was battling health issues. But I know he is taking care of my son, but no I do have a 6 yr old girl, for whatever reason most sids happens to boys with all the research I was doing.
As horrific as this is for the mother, please don’t forget that the husband is grieving and broken, too.
literally no one said he wasn't or didn't even say anything at all
Marianne H maybe that is how he deals. How can you judge never having been in his shoes??
So glad you said this. The father is always forgotten in matters like this.
yes please who will think of the men
@@bananaslin Women dont create life without men. No man I know would want to go through the heartbreaking pain of losing a child. Please be respectful.
God just be with this family and give them peace and guide them through this horrible time
I'm so sorry for your loss of your beautiful son, McCoy. I lost all 4 of my children between 6-24weeks of pregnancy. I understand your agony. So many thoughts, tears and hugs from Micah's Alison's Heidi's and Noah's Forever Mama!!!!
I’m so sorry for your loss 💛💛💛💛💛
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost one at 12 weeks. Couldn't imagine losing 4. I hope you find healing.
@@kygalits still small at that time
@@JayJay-ue3xy And yet it is already a little human!
You don't know the sex of a baby at 6 weeks gestation, so how do you know what to name them? As a Midwife I know that's true. I lost 2 separate pregnancies at 8 weeks, a twin pregnancy at 12 weeks , and another at 20 Weeks. I know how painful that is. We were ,then , blessed with 2 healthy and wonderful sons, born 4 years apart
Sitting here at age 61 with tears streaming down my face. How well I remember losing my son over 25 years ago. I’m just so very sorry for your loss. I am living proof that the pain does get better and that eventually you find a new normal. You will survive. It won’t always hurt this bad. It just takes times. Love and Prayers to your entire family. Hang in there mom and dad. Hold each other close.
♥️
@@rebecca9937 i'm so sorry for your loss ❤ may the Lord comfort you with His promise of Heaven
I'm so sorry for your loss ❤ may the Lord confort you with His promise of Heaven
Awww sending you lots of hugs. We also lost our 26 days old baby girl in May 2018. Pain does get lighter but never fades away . Couldn’t stop my tears 😭 while watching .
I am so sorry for your loss too.
You will see your son again someday.
This is for everyone who has lost a child.
I was thinking of having a home birth, then I watched this and decided to have my baby in hospital. This was the best decision for me as she got stuck and I needed a emergency C-section.
Yes, I agree, I believe the best place to be is where all the medical technology is and available.
NOTHING is worth risking your babies life.
The troubles encountered from non hospital births were a very large cause for child and mom morbidity and mortality through out human history. That’s why NO OBGYNE doctor recommends home births. they may be respectful of people’s wishes, but it’s very risky. Only those who don’t know how these numbers and don’t see such outcomes would recommend a home birth.
Many home births can go well. But if you have an issue like shoulder dystocia or heavy bleeding you may have death or brain damage etc before you can even reach a hospital. Where as these issues are commonly encountered in a hospital setting and processes are in place to deal with them. I am an anesthesiologist so we deal with these issues all the time with our OB GYNE colleagues.
Although I understand the covid pandemic and its issues made things hard in many ways for birthing moms
@@nt8894 You can still die in hospitals.. for woman of color a home birth is much much much safer then a hospital.
Also you have to remember a hospital is a business so of course they are going to push you to go to the hospital for a birth instead of a midwife.. in a hospital they would also push for a c section and tell you that the baby is stuck or something like "your too short to have a baby naturally" one of my friends had that happen to her.. they gave her a c section because she was "too short" which isn't true
@@jaynecrafter2684
In some cases these may be true. But for the vast majority it is not true. To decide, look at just mortality before hospitals were in place. Like rural Afghanistan. Where it’s close to 27%.
That percentage is less than 1% in a US hospital.
The overall statistics is what to look at. Not anecdotal sampling
@@nt8894 Its almost always the case other then for high risk pregnancies and actual real complications.. doctors are very quick to rush people into a c section even if its the smallest of complications which a midwife can fix
When I lost my son at 13 days old, telling my grandparents was the hardest part. Seeing my grandpa cry for the first time in my life, over the death of my son, shattered me. It's been almost 13 years and they're both gone now, but remembering seeing him sitting at the table crying still makes me cry.
My heart breaks for you. Love you.
I'm so deeply sorry
❤️
I’m in tears reading this. I’m so sorry for your loss
im so sorry, i read this and started crying , i hope your grandparents and baby rest in heaven .. 😔❤️
How generous you were in your grief, to think how McCoy helped other children, other families that don’t have to go through the same because of his gift. Love to you all x
My boy was stillborn in 1987. I still grieve for who he would have grown up as.
🥺☹
Bless you
My daughter was stillborn in 86...Two years later I had another daughter. She’s the light of my life.
Still you always love and yearn for the baby you lost. 💘
Sorry for your loss!!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s so sad...... it’s so cruel
There’s nothing worse than having a baby and not being able to take him home. I know first hand how hard this is, I lost my son 23 years ago.
Rose Rivera, I’m so very sorry.
I, too, lost multiple babies. The pain never goes away.
I lost my son 8 months ago, 8 days old.
Moumou Baouz I am sorry for your loss.
So sorry Rose😢
Rose Rivera i am sorry je suis desolee pour vous et toutes les femmes n'ayant pas pu voir leurs enfants grandir et devenir des hommes et femmes.
He was a big boy, god bless his little soul. My grandmother gave birth to a stillborn full term boy, the cord wrapped around his neck. It was hard on her but she finally moved on to have more children. I'm sorry for their pain amd I pray they heal.
I feel you. Loosing a child is the worst feeling ever
We were adoptive parents and never had the opportunity to have breast milk for our baby. I am absolutely honored to think that you did this for someone even in the middle of your pain. In the many years since that time, we have needed to sometimes pay love forward in the middle of tragedy. It has been the singular watershed act that kept us sane. You are not alone. God keeps our tears in His bottle in heaven.
I’m heartbroken for this family. I had **no** idea this situation could cause death. My daughters shoulder got caught up on my pelvic bone (later to find out my hips were fused at the joint due to a break when I was younger) and I was crowning when the midwife realized what was going on. I got rushed to a c-section and they needed three people to pull my daughter out of the birth canal she was so wedged in there. I then crashed/flatlined on the table (I had pulled my epidural line out while pushing in labor and I went into shock from the pain of feeling the surgery). The baby was over 9lbs and would up being fine - she is now 18 and in college.
Wow! That is some story. So glad you and your baby survived. Giving birth is so beautiful yet so scary.
I had to have an emergency c section after 4 days of labor and 1 hour of pushing because of the same reason 6 years ago. My son was 9.6lb and I am 5.3 and 135lb. My son was crowning and his heart was racing. My doctor put her whole hand in my cervix and she decided no, we need to take this baby out through c section. My baby was on oxygen for a day because of the respiratory distress which is pretty common with big babies.
Much respect. I hope you get BIGTIME celebrated on mommies day AND her birthday! Thanks for sharing. 🙌🏽
I'd never let her live it down.
Oh wow. God bless you that’s incredible
He was the cutest chunkiest baby ever! He looked perfect! My heart aches for these parents
He looked like Kara.
He looked quite large…chubby and cute as ever
I am so sorry to all of you who have lost children. I can’t even imagine the pain you all go through. My heart goes out to you.
This pandemic has affected people in more ways than most of us realize. He was such a chunky healthy little guy. I can't imagine the pain this family has had to endure. Nursing still to help other babies shows just how strong a momma is. She is stronger than I could ever be. My condolences to your family. ❤️
Even smiling for the camera with her daughter and son must have been colossally difficult. Awful. What a lovely gift for her daughter.
@@chrisoulasourasis5175 I really don't care what you think nor will I take the time to even read half the shit you typed.
After a long day of single parenting and getting frustrated, this made me go on and kiss my kids and remind them how much I love them. Life can be too short sometimes. The cried and cried at this couples loss.... Excruciating and no one's fault.
Keep up the good work I myself know it’s really hard I’ve even cried before and it’s ok to take a min to yourself and let it out but just know it won’t always be hard and their will be beautiful times that will overshadow the hard times🙂
As I wipe the tears streaming down my face, I applaude this family for their strength and undeniable family bond. Thank you for sharing your story with the masses.
May God continue to grant you bountiful blessings. Thank you for finding the beauty in everyday life and being so courageous and kind
Accepting life is much stronger than accepting death. When we make bad choice or we often get frustration saying I want to die or leave me alone or life is shit is actually inviting death while living physically. My love goes to this family.bless you all
As a mom, I can’t imagine the pain I had had my baby in the NICU for nine days, not knowing what the outcome was going to be .It was torture. I am blessed today to have my baby girl. I am so sorry for your loss. You’re in my prayers.
and the dad..not just the Mother
@@boredweegie553 Seriously? 🤷🏼♀️People like you will NEVER cease to amaze me! Was it absolutely necessary for you to add that? Did it make you feel better? I would NEVER even THINK about say something that fk’ing shallow to my own family members, let alone a complete stranger! You don’t know this woman personally or if the daddy is in even the picture! Did your mom not teach you to think before spoke? More & more women now days are using donors to have babies because their biological clock is ticking, they haven’t found “the one” yet AND/OR they’re just tired of being hurt by men but have ALWAYS longed to be a mother! It’s not your place to put YOUR words in HER mouth & the bottom line is by doing so you’re being extremely disrespectful! 🤬
I went through that too with my first born son, he lost 10 minutes of oxygen to his brain & died 9 months later, my husband & I we're devastated! However, three months after we found out I was pregnant again, & that second son was born on my husband's birthday! It will be painful but u will have another angel coming ur way at the right time!🌷🤗
Glynis Joseph so sorry for your loss ♥️ I’m thankful you got your rainbow baby 🌈 I know it seems like it’s an eternity away but hold on to the promise that you will see him again sooner than you think ♥️ a literal lifetime to us is just the blink of an eye in Heaven 😘 that’s what I’m holding on to in my darkest days too
So sorry for the lost of your first baby, but your next baby was a blessing i hope God covers you’re family with support, strength and happiness ❤️
I'm so sad McCoy's not around to spend time with his parents and sister. However, it's a beautiful gift to share his organs and be a ray of hope for other families.
I'm sorry for your loss I know it must be rough prayers for you both
I lost our beautiful daughter Hollie,26 years ago, still feels like yesterday,v8lb 3 ounces perfect little girl, who was taken from us, god bless you both xx
hospitals are best place for a birth they are equipped to handle problems like this
@@MrTinkti agree. I respect everyone decisions but the best and safest place to have a baby is at the hospital. 1 min cannot be lost during delivery. Sorry for her lost. I know that is a terrible, deep and unforgettable moment. RIP little prince.
My god, absolutely in tears........
These parents are strong to be able to speak about this experience. And shame on any of you that are passing judgement on this mom and dad. RIP beautiful baby boy. And I think it is amazing that these parents passed on his life to another baby. That is truly amazing.
30 weeks pregnant with my son right now.... i can't even imagine this pain. My heart goes out to you two. Thankful you two have one another to lean on. There is no words to make the pain go away, life is just so unpredictable and we are here to experience all different types of emotions and experiences. I'm so sorry.
As I was contemplating a scolding post about having your baby at home, I realized it's not as important as having empathy. I'm sorry you lost your child. And I am reminded yet again, how blessed I am to have my children. I cannot imagine your pain.
This was so genuine, thank you
I know how you feel , but with the pandemic , a diagnosed normal pregnancy with no cause for concern , it being her second baby and the birth complication being extremely rare and unpredicted . It was just an unfortunate circumstance. The same result could of happened at a hospital , you can't do a c section with a babies head out of the birth canal by my knowledge , to soft a skull to push backwards.
Lots of people with uneventful pregnancies have their babies at home easily and successfully. This truly was just a perfect storm of tragedy. 💔The same could have happened even at a hospital. Once the baby's head is out, it is almost impossible to go back. 😔
@Umbrella Corporation Sometimes it just happens that way💔
Drew Darren I’ve had 3 home births that went perfectly fine. Speaking from personal experience, the NICU is filled with many babies who were born in the hospital and not all are preemies so please keep an open mind and do not judge parents for their decision. I am happy that regardless of how you felt, you realized that empathy was more important that your opinion on where a mom gives birth
The baby was very large, I can’t believe the doctor didn’t notice. My daughter was 9 pounds and even without an ultrasound my doctor did an internal exam and told me flat out I would never be able to push her out. And she was right. My heart breaks for them. And now her Dad is with him. It’s just so sad.
Johanna P You can vaginal deliver a 9 lbs. I was 9.14 and my mom was 10. Did you or the baby have another under lying condition?
Tomara Smith I just meant that by my doctor doing a quick exam, she could tell my chances personally were slim since I have a small frame and I had Gestational Diabetes ( so they knew her shoulders were very broad) So obviously in my case , it was an easy guess. I was the opposite of this situation since I had sizing ultrasounds all the time. Many women can successfully deliver large babies. But I’m sure if her doctor had known how large the baby was , they would have not recommended a home birth. I think her doctors failed her here.
Did you miss the part where she said she had her last ultrasound at 20weeks? And you could be 7 pounds and still have a shoulder dystopia.
gega7 I saw. You don’t need an ultrasound to see how large a baby’s head and shoulders are. When the baby is low, you can feel it. Shoulder Dystocia could happen with a smaller baby but it’s very rare. Especially since she had no other risk factors for it ( she has already had a successful vaginal delivery, she is a normal weight ) I don’t how she was measuring, what exams were done. She may have had undiagnosed diabetes or just a large babu. It happens. But knowing she wanted a home birth , she should have had an exam to make sure she was still a candidate. I am a victim of negligence by several doctors and thankfully I was the one who suffered and not my baby. But I almost lost my life because Doctors can get complacent. Doctors also saved my life and I have immense respect for them , especially right now. I personally think in this case her doctors could have done more knowing she wanted a home birth. Birth is a natural process but unfortunately it can be dangerous. It’s very sad. And it could have been avoided. But I hope doctors and Mothers who are considering a home birth , remember this story and that by her sharing it , it can save a life.
Hi! I wonder, is it really standard in the US to have the last ultrasound at 20 weeks? That doesnt make any sense, because how will you check the biophysical scoring of the baby, or the level of your amniotic fluid at 37-38 weeks? Isnt that in the guidelines of prenatal care? The baby was big, that couldve been seen in the ultrasound.. although her pelvis wouldve been deemed adequate given shes delivered vaginally before... but seeing the size of the baby couldve been an indication to do CS. Im not from the US. But our standard prenatal care always includes an ultrasound nearing delivery. Just so you can check last minute. This is sad :(
I still don't know what to say. When I gave birth to our son and he died few hours after, my whole being was shattered. My husband and I were the only one who knew how great of a loss we had to endure. It's been 5months now, and I'm still in deep pain and sorrow. When you said healthy baby, that's what we've been praying too. I guess with what happened, our sons can't be healthy and they are better off in heaven although it pains me to the core but I just see this as a consolation. Our house is still very empty and quite. I hope you all the best despite everything.
My heart hurts for your loss. You are a strong mother for enduring this. Your baby's love will be with you forever.
My love to you and your family at this horrific time. May time ease your grief and pain.
Best wishes from Europe
Thinking of you and hoping you continue to heal. Time will help though you will always miss him.
The Lord is near to the broken hearted 💞
I'm so sorry for your loss, Liz. Check out the You Tube series of Amber and Granger Smith. They lost their son, River (long story) but it's a story of faith and hope. One day at a time
As I watched the end. I could feel this chills overcome my arms like a hug of feeling loved. God listens to those broken hearted and he listens to this mother's cries. The love you give will be given much more from the father in Heaven.
I’m crying. This is so heartbreaking. He was such a beautiful baby boy
Sooooooo sad !! Very beautiful baby ❤️
That is just exactly how I feel.
In the last year, I've heard of two cases of shoulder dystocia that resulted in hypoxia and death. Both happened in the hospital. So please don't add to this family's grief by questioning their decision. I'm sure they're doing enough of that themselves.
I know!! In a world driven to panic by the media fueled hysteria over this virus she thought she was doing the best thing to protect her son. When all this crap hit the fan that was the first thing I said "if I was pregnant I'd be doing a home birth!" It was a very rational decision to make.
@@ameliaweights Home birth is not a very rational decision to make. Please educate yourself on home birth before commenting on the topic.
@@lizmyers469 oh, don't you worry pumpkin, I've done more research on home birth AND hospital birth than you can begin to dream of. I can recommend some books if you're interested.
Rachael Windemuller really?? I’ve been attending these births as a NICU nurse for almost 20 years at a large hospital, and I have never seen a shoulder dystocia death.
Kristen H what’s with nurses and gaslighting women who choose home birth? When it’s convenient they like to say they’ve never seen a death and when it’s convenient they’ll say they experience death all the time... not to discount your experiences but what happened to this mother could’ve (and does) happened to anyone at anytime. women shouldn’t be judged or shamed for how THEY chose to give birth.
I’m only 20 years old and y’all’s story made me cry with legit tears. I’m so sorry for your loss. Your baby is resting and watching over you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I didn't even know how blessed I am because I just had my baby with shoulder dystocia. The pain when they tried to get her out was HELLISH but I'm glad we have our little princess 😔💗. You are heroes Kara and Kyle. Rest in peace little man
Thank God your sweet girl is OK! Hearing stories of couples that have lost their children breaks my heart and makes me just want to hold my kids tighter and be sure I don't take for granted all the little things!
Did your daughter suffer any long lasting issues from this?
@@JamiJason Just a few weeks of pain but the physio said that everything seemed okay after about 3 or so weeks
@@kristenadorno I so can relate❤️
❤
They are now the proud parents of baby Vaughn. He’s the best next thing. Exactly a year later
That makes me so happy!
@@LisaLisa-mx3hq This isnt the time to
That's so nice to hear. A year later also wow. Reminds me of when I had a missed miscarriage. I found out that the baby had no heartbeat on the 19th March, my son was born the year after on 19th March.
@@chrisoulasourasis5175 What the heck has that to do with this wonderful new baby news after her sad news. Get thee behind me!!
@@chrisoulasourasis5175 I wouldn't trust you near my babies.
I'm crying, losing a loved one is very sad no matter how long or short time you have lived with them, may God comfort you
Grieving her baby and her father during a pandemic. I’m sending this amazing soul a big hug 🤗
What a beautiful baby!!! Very sorry for your loss 😭😭😭😭
@Lolatabortion902 10 wtf ypur gross
I lost my daughter to a cord accident just a week before she was to be born. I know you feel as though everything is enveloped in a fog and I know it seems like you will feel this devastated forever. But, I promise you, there will be a day when things start to shift and you can see some light peeking in. Like you, we had a daughter waiting for her baby sister to come home. Lean on her, see her light, let her make you smile and laugh. She will be a big sister some day. I went on to have two more kids. I got pregnant with my son within two months of losing our daughter. I knew he was being watched by his guardian angel. He helped save our lives. You will have a baby and you will never forget McCoy. You’ll wonder about how he’d look, what he’d be interested in, but you will find the strength to rise up in those moments knowing he’s with your dad in a beautiful place. Take all the time you need to grieve any way you feel is best for you. Take care of your beautiful daughter who will forever remember she’s special because her brother is an angel. Stay well and healthy in preparation for the little girl who will be born on a Thursday ❤️🦋
Lisa, I lost my daughter to a cord accident as well, three weeks before my scheduled induction, and my son to infection a year and two weeks later (5 weeks before my scheduled induction). My kids were 8&9 and 9&10 at the time. Your words are so true. The light will come again. ❤️❤️💪🏻
❤
I'm so sorry for your loss. My best friend lost her baby girl the day of her c-section. They went to put the monitors on and they could find her heartbeat. Ultrasound confirmed she passed. She did feel her kick about 3 hours before. The doctor confirmed it was a cord accident and she is prone to long umbilical cords. 17 months later she had a little boy and he was healthy and he's 17 months today.
Beautiful message. I cried reading it. I don't have children, but my heart hurts so much reading this. I want to have children, I don't have a husband yet , but I'm so scared to bring kids into this world. There are so many things that could happen. But i find comforts in your words because you are incredibly strong and you went thru the most painful of all pains. 💔
Perfectly said📌💋
My God.. I can’t even imagine their pain. Praying for their hearts..
My god. He was absolutely stunningly beautiful. The fact that you let him live on is one of the most courageous things parents like yourself can do.
You gave the ultimate sacrifice by helping others, this is the true testament of a parents love….
Praying for your family.
What she said was so beautiful, "now when she hears her daughter laugh or make sounds it is so much more meaningful, and the watermelon seems even sweeter, she has a spirit that is truly blessed with large heart. That is all anyone could ever hope to have in this life. Nothing else truly matters, love is the greatest spirit of all!
SHE..... IS LOVE
I’m so sorry we share the same pain. Our story is so devastatingly similar. We lost our son Augusto July 6, 2020 the day after he was born. May both our angels RIP. 🙏🏼👼🏻👼🏻
So sorry for your loss. X
Thinking of you today
That’s my birthday 🥲 I’m so sorry for your loss ♥️
I am truly sorry Guilia. It is not fair. It's not okay. I am not going to use the c-word. (also called closure). Because that is something that is unable to be achieved. But I truly hope that you and your family find peace.
🙏🏻💫 for you
I am holding my newborn as I watch this. My heart is aching. I am so sorry for your sweet boy. I am truly sorry for your loss.
💔
So so sad, he was a perfect little chunk. That's so awesome that his organs gave other babies a chance at life. Prayers to his mom and dad.
The pain of this mother was palpable. I know you'll never read this, but I'm truly sorry for your loss. I cried with you....
I did too.
Same
What about the husband? You don’t feel for the husband too or what?
Babs kind of goes without saying 🙄
No it Dosent. They only said pain of the mother instead of saying The pain of the parents 🙄
Makes me cry so much, remembering my stillborn boy 4 years back...
i’m so sorry for ur loss i hope ur doing okay❤️
🙏❤
This is truly heartbreaking and so brave for Kara and her husband to share this, can't imagine what a difficult time they are going through especially with the virus making it more complicated. Huge respect to the hospital for making an exception during a time of grieving and heartbreak for the family, they will remember that forever
I’m like sobbing so bad right now. I have a four month old and I cannot even fathom what these parents are going through with the loss of their son. My heart goes out to them
It's a horrible feeling, and very stressful when having another child. I lost my first born at home, we woke up and he had passed (due to doctors ignoring our concerns...)
RIP little Angel 😢 as a dad I can imagine the pain he’s going through.
The loss of a child for any parent is unbelievably painful 😣
So heartbreaking. He was a beautiful baby boy. I can't imagine the pain and grief they are in.
CandaceK
You think it's heartbreaking????
Are u stupid or something?
Have you ever thought exactly how blessed you would be if you ever buried a baby into the graveyard?
Have you ever thought about it?
This couple should think about it.
In this world many babies have been buried.
Many have been buried.
But the people are very grateful and they thank God at the end of the day for their blessed loss.
When you lose a baby think about how much peace there is in your home?
No more crying, you don't hear your baby voice.
You can sleep peacefully.
Without having to wake up.
When you wake up your sleep is disturbed.
And so then you don't get the proper rest that you need.
So when you lose a baby you should be thankful you should bend on your knees and tell God exactly how grateful/thankful you are for letting God take ur baby away from you and taking that baby from this world.
You should do that because in this life there is peace but some people don't see that.
You might be too blind to see it.
But this question is for the couple that has lost their baby in the video.
Just answer it and let me know.
Thank God
Amen
@@chelsieleger2579 you're insane
@@anayscalderon8596 lol keep barking
@@chelsieleger2579 God doesn't "take" babies.
@@JillKirchner I absolutely disagree with you God takes away babies from those people who are spoiled with take an advantage of life.
But however burying a baby is not so hard and it's considered a blessing.
"the depth at which one suffers...correlates directly to the height at which one feels JOY"...thank you so much for sharing your beautiful, McCoy & your beautiful family with the world - THE DEPTH of suffering goes no deeper - therefore the HEIGHT OF JOY goes no higher - may GOD bless you all FOREVER & EVER
'Because of what we are going through everything is now sweeter' Wow that is so inspirational bless them all and their beautiful baby angel now in heaven 😢😔
The amount of strength that a parent has to be able to keep their child alive for organ donation....
I have watched this a time or 2 bit now.....looking back....not COVID but the pressure it put on the family & it was only the beginning.
I watched Kara on TV. My husband father's played MLB. Kara's father, now passed was a famous MLB player. He had an unfortunate situation while on the field causing TBI, traumatic brain injury, which I have from a motorcycle accident (car couldn't wait about .001 seconds to make a turn).
My heart and seeing it again 💔💔 Her, McCoy's Mother, healthy baby boy💔💔💔💔
This happened to my mother and dad in 1957. So horrible. I don’t think my mom ever truly got over this. Back then they did not have ventilators. I was 5 years old and never truly understood why my baby brother never came home from the hospital. My mom said he was an angel and went to Heaven. They we would go to the cemetery, put flowers on his grave. I did not understand this. Heart breaking.
It is heartbreaking. Imagine all the joy and excitement of expecting a baby and then to leave the hospital empty handed. That has to be the most hollow feeling in the world.
It's especially heartbreaking knowing how preventable this was. Just seeing the photo of her holding him, he was WAY beyond the size of a typical newborn. In a traditional hospital setting, that probably would have been caught early on and a c-section ordered.
❤❤❤
That is the worst pain in the world, a parent losing their child. It breaks my heart that you both are feeling that heart piercing pain right now. Your son, McCoy, IS a beautiful boy!
This is heartbreaking. I lost my daughter Kelsey on 7-31-97, she was stillborn. Not a day goes by that I do not think about her. Sending love and prayers to the family.
Just had a stillbirth @ 7months
I really don’t know how to feel
Maybe if there was a medical explanation I guess I would feel better!😭
Nothing thugs at your emotions compared to your child! It’s easier to accept anything that could have happened to you personally, but not your child!
Mhhhhhhhh
God help me 🙌🏽🥲🥹🥹
Made me cry so much just hearing the pain and sadness in her voice. Rip baby boy
Aiana Domnick same! 😢😢😢😢
How very tragic and yet this little angel helped save other children’s lives. He was a beautiful little boy. I am so sorry for your losses.
My heart goes out to them. I’m crying. I know what she’s going through. This is so sad. I will keep all of you in my prayers.
I’m sitting here nursing my newborn son. And I’m so heartbroken for them. I hate this pandemic. These poor parents 😞
4 years today that we delivered our Olivia to heaven. My heart aches still. You find a way to live. Changed forever but you do it. Sending love
Your story brought tears to my eyes momma. I can’t even begin to imagine this kind of pain and heartache you are experiencing. As a mother of two my heart ached to hear this. I pray you experience peace and healing in it’s perfect time. ❤️
RIP beautiful baby McCoy. Lord please help this family with love, peace, and comfort
What a terrible tragedy. How wonderful the parents allowed donation . His life mattered xxx
What a beautiful line "its like putting salt on watermelon it somehow makes it sweeter" in reference to her daughter who is helping her get through this struggle
God bless this family. Such a powerful, powerful story.
So thankful to see that they still have hope to keep living, especially after such a hard loss.
Sweet baby is waiting in heaven. 👼🏻💙
I can’t imagine any parent having to go through loosing a child. It breaks my heart for every parent.
@Boston Guy you sick incel
It’s the most horrible pain you can imagine, a part of you is gone. I lost my daughter 4 years ago , she was 19 and it still seems unreal. That’s 19 years of memories, being a baby to first steps to first school days and so on. All the time you can hear their little voice telling you I love you mommy and knowing you’re family is not there same anymore, all your family pics will be minus one child. It’s an unexplainable feeling that only someone who’s had the same loss can understand.
This is heartbreaking. I can't even imagine how sad this must feel.
The mother bless her, she is able to get the words out, she is strong...
That father, he’s lost
God please heal this family
Please know you will be in my prayers!!! I just can't imagine what you are going through. God bless you both!!!!
Pray for me too! I have lost my two days old baby boy
Oh he was so precious. My heart aches for his parents
My stomach fully dropped when she got emotional and talked about the umbilical cord being white. I'm an expecting mama (my first,) after suffering a miscarriage at 18 weeks. I know what my grief felt like, and I can't imagine how much worse it felt for them. I'm gutted. And I just saw the part about them making the choice to donate the organs and the milk...that touches my heart as a transplant nurse. This all hits too close to home and now I am sobbing.
Diana D I cried too.💞
@ yes. Agree. Don’t watch stuff like this at this time. Surround your baby with beauty and uplifting atmosphere.
@@catherinegrace2366 I want to. But i have to slay a dragon first. The mother's love for her child is so strong, that no amount of evil will ever do her harm....BECAUSE a real mother will protect her child. Keep your baby safe. Always.💕
All 3 of my babies were born and their umbilical cords were white? Aren’t they supposed to be before they clamp? Or does she mean as in it was white so therefore baby wasn’t getting any oxygen or anything else while he was stuck?
Please don't try to compare your loss with others. I lost my son at 8 days old after a clean bill of health when discharged. Just because I experienced this loss does not mean yours is any less significant or traumatic.
Its a shame because he looked so healthy. He was a nice plump little baby
So true :(
He was truly perfect Poor little soul .
I know. How terribly sad. I don’t think I would have the strength to give him up and accept his death.
A nice Chonky little man😭
That's exactly why this happened. He was too big. In a hospital, they would have seen that & got him out immediately. Babies over 10 pounds are extremely high risk deliveries and likely will have to come out via c-section. He was over 11 lbs and should have been a c-section birth. This was so preventable.
I had the same nurse midwife for 3 of my births. The first two had broken collarbones and I was told to be extra careful to not move their shoulder and they all started out life in pain. Then when the 3rd one was born and it happened again, I was fuming . A senior nurse told me that the midwife I had always had broke collarbones with most of the babies she delivered. That she used the same maneuver getting the babies out, and that this was a "normal thing" to have happen.
I am so very sorry that this shoulder dystocia happened with your precious son, my heart goes out to you...
how is she still practicing if this is known surely the technique shouldn't be used. i had 3 home births and my children came out without needing to be bought out i dont get whats happening to cause the injury. im so sorry for what youve been through post partum is difficult already just to heal and adjust to a newborn let alone one with broken bones
I found out in my 20's that I have an old shoulder fracture from childbirth. I asked my mother and she had no idea what I was talking about. All she said was "no wonder u were so pissed when u came out" 😂. Im so sorry that u and your babies had to go through that. I hope that the midwife is no longer able to practice. I know that nothing can take away your family's pain but U should have been compensated in some way. Happy holidays to u and your beautiful family!!!! 🙏🏽💞
Oh thats horrible!
I'm curious as to why you continued to use the same midwife after the first time and most definitely after the second occurrence? I'm sincerely asking, not judging at all. I'm so sorry you and your babies went through that. My youngest had a rough start in life also. It was for different reasons but she spent her first month in the NICU.
@@tiredofthebs8290 I was just 18 with my first one and on my own. When it happened twice, I was suspicious, but still thought it might be a normal part of the birthing process. I also had very large babies and difficult births. When it happened with the third one, that's when I complained and found out she did it all the time with her deliveries. I don't know what ended up happening with her as I never went back and used a different hospital.
Sincere sadness for what happened to these parents...I cried watching this because 27 years ago i almost lost my daughter the same way....I feel so bad that their situation didn’t end the way mine did....and they didn’t get to bring their son home. i can still relate somewhat to their loss, because I lost 2 babies before my daughter....I know I will keep this family in my prayers for quite some time...and i’m also so sorry you had to lose your father, as well....It’s wonderful that McCoy could he a hero and save other babies lives....no matter how long a person lives...they had value, they were real, and they will be missed forever and never forgotten. Much love to this family
He was gorgeous. This is heartbreaking.
This is heartbreaking. I’m so thankful they chose to donate his organs and save other babies and keep more parents from grieving the way they were. He is a hero. He was sent to save others. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I’m here for you girl I understand how you feel. I was 24 weeks pregnant. I had an infection a hormone infection that me and my baby come early. He stayed alive for hour and a half December 21, 2018. I miss him dearly to this day, but I take day by day, I still miss him but it gets a little bit better. He’s in heaven and your baby boys in heaven to stay strong girl.
He is watching over you. You’re a wonderful person and it’s not your fault.
Obviously it is not her fault!
When I was 14 my aunt lost her baby girl (her second child). She would end up only have two boys. I was told that her shoulder was ripped out by a vacuum deliver and she died 3 hours later. I had no idea what shoulder dystocia was until I watch this video and now I know the medically what happened to her. Improper vacuum delivery caused or exacerbated shoulder dystocia causing internal bleeding and her death 3 hours later. It’s heartbreaking and my prayers go out to them.
My son was born sunny side up, meaning he was face toward the ceiling rather than face down which causes the baby to push against the tail bone and make delivery very difficult. I was in labor 27 hours with about 20 of those pushing. My tailbone never cracked, which makes the baby able to come out. They used the vacuum thing on my son and his head was so stretched I thought there was no way he would recover. But he was okay. I did not know until afterwards that there are many cases of the head of an infant being ripped open or even completely ripped from the body. During the delivery the doctor walked over and shut off my video camera because he knew there was a chance something terrible may occur and they did not want it to be on tape. As far as I know they don't use the vacuum anymore. I can't imagine something more horrific.
on the rocks with salt they absolutely still use the vacuum and lots!!!! Sorry to hear of your difficult birth :-(
And I thought the pain that I feel is bad. I’m so sorry you have my deepest condolences
😢 there’s no loss like losing a baby. God bless your beautiful family and your sweet baby boy. May he rest peacefully in heaven.
42 years ago my in laws went through this too. My husband is the rainbow baby after his brother along with 3 additional siblings. Mama's do what they gotta do and I'm sure it'll take a long time but the days will get easier. Only God knows why he send the babies on a completely different path.
The pain these parents are going through must be horrific! May their little boy Rest In Peace.
And then to suffer the loss of her father shortly thereafter. No words can describe the amount of devastation this poor family has suffered
Every tear you cry..God holds in His Hand….You never left my side and tho my heart is torn… I will praise you in this Storm….beautiful words from a beautiful song about faith in God when we encounter trials in our lives……God bless this precious family and help them to know their precious child is onYour arms and that this is only a temporary separation..they will rejoice one day in Heaven with their beautiful baby boy..God bless them and bring them great peace knowing this🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏
This is horrific I'm in tears 😭 and 4 those that gave this a thumbs down you have no compassion or love in your heart
Rite I was thinking the same
Maybe it was too upsetting for them.
What a sweet little baby boy. He looked so perfect. Grandpa is with him and McCoy will be keeping him busy. Sending love and healing thought to all moms and dads out there!! ❤️
I understand your pain, lost my 18 year old from a car accident 3 an a half years ago.......hugs with tons of love
😪
So sorry Sis...🥰
I’m so sorry
I'm currently balling. You have no idea how much your story is so stunning and powerful. It's probably the most powerfully emotional thing humans can go through, and to share it how and like you did brings a wave of testiment to you as parents. Greif is something we never understand bc it takes away all that we love. I was pregnant 7 months when my mom died. Hardest thing in my life. But I watch videos like yours and remind myself to keep humble. I'll close with I'm so sorry for your loss. Truly