I remind myself to these things: I always have the right to answer a question or leave a question unanswered. I always have the right to protect my safety and respect my boundaries. I always have the right to keep the truth to myself and when needed make up a story when a stranger asks me where I go, where I live, where I work, whether I am single or not. Because they are strangers, the less they know, the better. It's none of their business. I am friendly and polite but I am not born to please others. It is their right to be interested and start conversations as it is my right to be interested or uninterested and cut conversations whenever I feel the need to. How to respectfully cut conversations short? Listen passively, do not give any reaction on what they are telling you, just be quiet and let them finish their sentence. Do not respond to anything of the last sentence. If you respond, you turn yourself into an active listener which is an invitation to them to talk to you more. Avoid that situation. So swallow all the words like: "Yeah / that's true / sure / really?" ... Just be silent. And then it depends on the situation you are at. If you planned to stay, say something like: "I am expecting a video call tomorrow morning and I still need to prepare some work, so have a nice afternoon / evening." If I feel the people are good at heart or talk because of loneliness, then I will be super clear: I am sorry, I really appreciate your interest, but I have some work to do, so I can't stay talking and unfortunately need to end this conversation... :)
It depends on the person, I have done the no notice walk off or drive off, actively on my cellphone is also a good one and last but not least no English and then proceed to talk like I’m from the Sims game. I Baja cha c Baja chi c (the hardest part is keeping a straight face) 😂😂😂
Phone call! Especially in your situation being in your van. “Getting a phone call, need to run, have a nice day” Roll up your window and be done! I’m so glad you moved from that parking lot. Too many creepy people! Listen to your gut! Stay safe my friend 😁
If the conversation is with a male with whom I am uncomfortable I say, I am just waiting for my husband to return. He should be here any moment and they usually leave.
I cut folks off when they start asking me personal questions, and/or just walk quickly away. No explanations. Ladies stop feeling obligated to answering questions people ask you. Give them a firm stare and send them on their way. Your safety is of the utmost importance. And that giggling let's them know you are a good, easy target. Always remember, people can be vicious; man or woman. Sometimes, even though they may approach you or see you separately, they could be working together. Use your instincts. Purchase a visor for your windshield. Put that up when you are sitting in your driver's seat. Perhaps sit in the back so folks do not see you. Remember, when pulling into any location, scope it out. Believe me, just because you didn't notice folks, they certainly have noticed you. Be safe.
Ladies stop telling these strange men your business. Walk away. A strange man should never ask a woman where she is going and if she is alone. Walk away. And please keep your hands off of your phone and out of your pockets when walking. Don't make yourselves a target. Walk quickly and with confidence. Keep your head up. Again, stop talking to these men in these streets. Times have changed. People are crazy. Get in and off that road before dark in unfamiliar areas. Be wise. Be safe.
I always notice the people in van life or the viewers avoid talking about carrying a firearm for protection, I get it everyone not comfortable toting dat steel some of us carry a firearm just like you carry a cellphone no stress at all family
Thank you for your videos. Practice what you are going to say when strangers try to talk to you. Just say something like, "I can't talk now, I have an appointment." Then leave. Other than a few words, don't engage with them. You owe them nothing. Be safe.
Yes, I think it's completely reasonable to say, Oh, I have to get going OR I need to make a call. Whatever and then go on about your day. Don't even pay any attention to their reaction, just follow through and leave.
Yeah this. Also I wanted to say, this is not on you. Hearing you speak to the truck driver, you’re giving 1-2 word responses. If these people had the social awareness you showed, they would know you don’t want to talk. Thus you have to push the closing past your comfort zone and say the things like, “alright, I have to go to an appointment.”
@@simmpleenoughMonique, there are many comments suggesting that you out right lie about cutting a conversation short. This is not necessary, as you are a woman of character, but they may not be and are accustomed to lying when things get uncomfortable. I encourage you to always speak truth. That way you don’t ever have to make up things, which is more stressful, especially when you’re not used to doing that. Ex: “Okay, gotta run; Got some things to take care of.” or “Alright, take care and have a nice day,” as you’re walking away or rolling up your window.❤
Make a sign that says “NO THANK YOU”. Hold it up to the window and don’t feel obligated to roll your window down. You never know what is on the mind of someone. Thank you for sharing.🤗
True he wouldn't have threatened to call police to force you to respond if he thought you were a man & couldn't have towed you / without a badge....you didn't have to respond - with a badge you still didn't have to respond & they would have left ....Trump started a Culture of bullying Black women 🤔next time don't speak back- wait til white man walks away & drive away not revealing your face wear COVID mask👍🏿
I'm so glad you keep choosing to leave places that disturb your peace. It's known that some truck drivers are predators who evade capture because they stay on the move from state to state and prey on those who appear vulnerable. Keep up the great content and enjoy living a life of freedom.
My old manager told me this when it comes to strange men, “You don’t have to be nice.” I never forgot that and I’ve used it to this day. Also girl the last person that needs to know you live in your car is someone who is also living in their car. I’m sure you’ve parked In hospital lots before but scope out the security and I know you’ve done hotels too. Those are known to be the safer places. Walmart is too hood to take the risk even in a nice area the dregs will be there at night.
its not that easy for woc. I think she is extremely bright and handled it well. She got the right vibes, telling them to F off or something would have made them call the cops and we know how THAT would have gone.
If I get the knock, I’m not taking down all my window coverings. I’m just starting the van, pull the front cover down after I’m in drive and just go… go… goooo… right out the lot, hazard lights and pull off two side coverings. Also if I’m in a gas station truck stop and a driver makes eye contact, I start my car and move 2-3 spaces so they get the idea I don’t want to talk. I avoid people at all costs. 😂
One thing I forgot to mention, sometimes the truckers think I’m a lot lizard. A woman, in a van, alone…. Sometimes when they are not sure they make small talk. When they are sure, they ask me how much. 🤦🏻♀️
I had a guy ask me a whole bunch of questions and I straight up told him, “I don’t feel comfortable answering your questions you are a stranger and I don’t know you” He tried to turn it back on me! 🤣🤣 as if I started the conversation with him. I left immediately.
I've had that same conversation I was actually just genuinely interested in her situation But sometimes I forget what I look like My response was simply " I'm sorry sorry, my bad, stay safe" I felt no need to explain or defend myself because she wasn't looking for an explanation
That was so smart to not engage with the security guy, or step out like he probably wanted. There was no reason to threaten with the cops, I think he was on a power trip and that’s scary. All they know is escalation. Good for you. Beautiful lighting on your indoor shots btw 💜🤩
It must've been alarming to be awakened to the sound of someone pounding on your window. Alhamdulillah, glad to know everything is fine. Yes, happy you had window shades in place.
Best conversation stopper for nosy men: “ why are you asking me all these intrusive questions? You’re making me uncomfortable. Wait whileI take your picture and get your license plate“
@@chinyereogazi ummm...she's out in the middle of the day, not night when this happened...plus, I STILL would put it up at night, maybe you don't want the sun in your car the next morning...silly, you just want to argue
Growing up in NYC, strange people approach you all the time. I can professionally ignore anyone. I am grateful for that skill, especially outside of NY where people feel entitled to your attention.
I'm so appreciative of your channel. I have to stay in my car until I can get into a senior apartment, which will be at least a year, probably more. I've been saving video channels to watch for awhile, now I have time to learn what I can from them. Watching your strength and calmness really helps me. I'm so impressed with how you've put your van together, I'm hoping I can get one at someday. Thanks for giving us inspiration through your channel.
WOW those were weird encounters. I don't live in a vehicle but when I park at a store I try to park far away from others and when someone parks right next to me I move immediately lol. You are a brave lady 🧡
That's what I do, too! I always park away from others, but someone just commented that parking away from others might be what makes me stand out and I can see their point. I need to find a middle ground; park a little closer to other vehicles, but not too close. I don't know, I'll figure it out. Thank you for your kind words ❤️
The police hate homeless with a passion in Vegas.I was looking to go over there(from LA) for a month till I head back to Dallas,but Vegas has some grimy areas.
I’m also working on not getting stuck in unwanted conversations 😩 I often can’t think of the right thing to say which is when a glance at my phone + ‘oops, my husband is calling, I need to get this, goodbye!’ always works
Be veeeeeery careful with these men! They're looking for lizards. Don't ever open your door for Security. Slightly roll the window down to speak. You did the right thing.❤
I dump my grey water at self car washes. I also fill up my sink tank. The funny thing is that the car wash water, even if it is on the rinse setting, has some soap in it. Pre-soaped dish water! (I buy drinking water separately at a water store - $5 for 7 gallons of reverse osmosis).
@@kimdagnillo8246 I rarely wash the van there - just pull in, dump my grey water jug in the drain and fill my sink water jug for dishes. It's worth the $4 or so, every 6 weeks. Out of curiosity, how do you know all car washes on the planet recycle their water? Seems like an urban-myth, blanket statement to me.
@@kimdagnillo8246 Also, when your vehicle is 20' long, and 9' high, and you are a nomad, what other option is there to get it clean? Not sure how your comment is applicable to a vanlife channel.
You are a flow master! 🌻But, please do work on the need to not feel polite. I had to learn that too and man it is a game-changer. Immediate shutdown. And you are giving way too much personal info, saying you are "traveling alone", "not from here". You owe them NOTHING. Good men won't get offended. Watch out for these men who often put airtags and trackers on cars, then get ya a day or two down the road. It is very rude for any man to talk to a woman by herself like that, inappropriate. Just ignore! Safe travels angel xo
Be careful in the south. Being Black and Muslim those people in the south will see you as a threat. We all know you are not. You handled everything well. When you want to cut off a conversation say, "I'm sorry I can't talk, I am in the middle of something". Or you can say, "I'm getting ready to leave". It's not rude, it's truthful. And if they won't leave you alone, drive away. I enjoy your videos so much. I hope you get some peace and quiet.
It’s crazy to me that I live in a country where folks can’t sleep in a car, in parking lot while minding their business and not hurting anyone. Insane.
We live in a country where retail theft is approaching 100 billion dollars a year. Stores are the worst place to expect humane treatment because they see the most inhumane people among us all day and all night.
I imagine the folks who rob a store aren't exiting and getting in their car to spend the night. ...the same parking lot of the store they just robbed. ...with cameras covering the lot. Not sure how mentioning retail theft relates to a person sleeping in a car. But go off.
Had encounters like this, no van life involved. They are not your friends. Say or motion with your hand “ no thanks “. Then immediately, look away from them and Strongly Ignore them. Like, they’ve been rude to you...... because technically... they are.
Sometimes (not always or not even most times) a location will be a "Police Watch" undercover location because of certain known "issues" at a location. Their whole job is to blend into the location and get closeup first hand info, faces, cars, etc. The Flip Side Of That Coin is the predictable issues of that or any other public location and those who are oftentimes questionable at best. Here's an odd fact... NEVER ONCE as a 911 Police Dispatcher did I ever receive any 911 calls from anyone who was at a truck stop yet those locations are said by many to have predictable problems with predatory behaviors. If you haven't overnight at a LOVE'S ❤ beforehand you might think about doing it. HOWEVER, ALWAYS ASK inside at the TRUCKERS DISPATCHER COUNTER if you can stay for the night. Offer to show them your Driver's License or to give them your Vehicle's Plate Number, Vehicle's Make and Color. That's the SURE WAY TO NOT HAVE THE 3:00AM KNOCK AT YOUR DOOR! Their Security and the Police 🚔 will leave you alone because you're a WELCOMED GUEST, not an intruder on the property 😉.
That area probably is known for trafficking. I'm glad you left from that area. There's a place I used to hang out at and a lot of people would approach me back to back like that, come to find out that place was indeed known for trafficking. They eventually had an investigation open there, and all those businesses were closed down. That happened in the Poconos. Also if they saw you had a camera, they may have thought you were an undercover. Thank you for getting the heck outta there lol. New sub!
@@simmpleenough if anything you looked like you were in a sting operation lol lol 😂 but seriously it’s sad but also eye opening when you’re actually experiencing that in the moment.
Hi Monique thanks for sharing. May I be so bold to advise you never say I am going to leave to whoever say we are leaving. Don't let people think you're alone. ❤
Just say take care and roll up your window. If you’re out of your vehicle, put your things away and say take and get in your van. No eye contact, but stay aware. Short and to the point. I’m glad you moved each time.
You did the right thing, there was no need for you to open your door. The fact that he asked you to open your door was a big red flag. Glad you’re safe.
That's why places like cracker barrel, quick trip and 7 eleven said that it's ok for people that lives in their cars, vans or SUVs to park in their parking lot if they're traveling and it's safe because of the security there.
I am new to your channel. I must say I am proud of you. You handled yourself very well. It's unfortunate about the people who felt entitled to stare at you. This happens everywhere. I was pulled over by the police going through a small town in Florida at midnight. They claimed my license plate lights were out... (I believe they thought I was a man) . My advice to you is to not roll your window down. Just crack it if you must speak to someone. This signifies that they are not welcome, and they are not safe. Rolling down the window (in my opinion) signifies that you welcome conversation. Remember: you don't owe anyone anything, but you don't want to give them cause to say that you're acting suspiciously and call the police on you. Simply say," If you are in need of help or directions, I cannot assist you. I do not wish to speak to strangers. Have a blessed day. Good bye." Close the window, and then open a book (which is unassuming. Watch them in your peripherals or mirrors. If they leave right away you should be fine. If they immediately pull out a phone and talk while they are looking at your vehicle, execute your plan B. (That might be going into the store) Many people are fearful of us wearing the hijab. It's not fair.
Nice to see you; I haven’t seen a video from you on my feed for quite awhile. Love the new van and as always, your cooking looks yummy. The encounters you had are creepy. Every word you say to these men encourages them to keep trying to engage you. You must put a stop to these random people intruding on your privacy by being DIRECT. It’s not rude to be direct. “I am not looking to be social. Thank you for respecting my privacy.” Then go back to what you were doing. The person will go away. I have good luck parking in more industrial areas or areas with businesses. Parking lots invite more nosy, uninvited people.
👋🏽 Chattanoogan here! I hate that folks mad you feel uncomfortable while passing through town. I found your channel in my feed and since my partner and I will be living traveling in an RV soon I was curious. TWB (traveling while black) in the US, especially nowadays is a source of anxiety for me. You handled your situations calmly and with grace and I’ll keep watching to take inspiration. Safe journey 😌
In my personal experience, developing the skill and confidence to end unwanted conversations begins with understanding and changing my people-pleasing psychology and habits. As my mindset shifted, my behavior largely changed on its own. Changing my own people-pleasing mindset and behavior went something like this: 1) Recognizing and acknowledging the huge drain that people-pleasing, chatty, meaningless conversations had on my energy. 2) Committing to valuing my time and energy more than I valued being polite. 3) Giving myself full permission to stop engaging in people-pleasing behavior. 4) Affirming and reclaiming right authenticity, and it's importance to my emotional and spiritual well-being. (At this point, I should mention I'm an introvert.) I adopted a strategy that goes something like this: 1) I set a 5-minute max for any chatty, meaningless conversation. 2) I watch my energy. As soon as I notice it drop, I commit to, and create, a moment to exit the conversation immediately. 3) While being firm, but kind, I speak in a louder voice than I've used in the conversation and say in a cheerful voice, "Well, it was nice chatting with you. Enjoy the rest of your day." Or something to that effect. To emphasize the words, I might make a hand gesture, raising my arm with open palm and extending it slightly, a non-threatening way of saying good-bye. Sometimes, I offer a brief explanation, for example: 1) "It was nice chatting with you. I've really got to get back to [this task/project]. Enjoy the rest of your day." 2) "It was nice chatting with you. I've really got to run. Have a great rest of your day." I can't emphasize enough, that everything starts with the mindset -- recognizing, understanding and overcoming the undermining personal psychology. Shifts in behavior automatically follow and, of course, improve with practice.
This response is amazing! Thank you so much; I'm screenshotting this so I'll always have it in my phone when I'm in situations like this. Thank you, again, for taking the time to write all of this.
@@simmpleenough Sharing the benefit of lessons learned is one of the true joys in life; at least I think so. I am pleased that you found this useful. Happy travels!
We, as women, are taught by society or what have you, to be too nice. Especially women of colour need to be very discerning. If this situation happened to me, my first instinct would have been to put my car in gear ⚙️ without speaking, and leave. As-salamu alaykum 🙏🏽
I’m in my 70’s and I too used to have trouble ending a conversation or not even starting one bc I was afraid of appearing unfriendly. As I have aged I really don’t care what people think of me and I feel confident being stand-off ish. Just roll up your window and drive away. I will pray for your safety and well being as you live your life the way you choose. Blessings.
"Thank you---- it was nice meeting you----have a great day----!" This is a polite dismissal, along with your beautiful smile, is conducive to your gentle nature.
No , don't be polite. They'll latch onto that in their obssesive mind. We recently had a woman who was stalked by her ex employee because when he got fired she said really kind things like, oh I'm so sorry, and hope you'll be OK. From those few sentences he stalked her on Facebook then broke into her unit and stabbed her over 100 times. You owe NOONE polite speech. You don't have to speak. Only monosyllabic responses, if anything. And DONT SMILE!!!! He can already tell she's feminine and weaker by her frame and high soft voice. Deeper voices indicate stronger women. So don't say anything at all unless forced, and then monosyllables!!
both of your front seats should be visible and clear of everything when parked in parking lots. Close your black blackout curtains to the back so that your home is invisible. No one will know you’re in there
Great video the downside of vanlife sometimes getting the knock in the middle of the night. Please be careful and safe looking forward to seeing the next episode
I would think most folks would not mind you putting trash in the trash cans. That's what they are there for. It's better than throwing it out your window on the ground, which you do find folks do in some rural areas. I find that horrible 😡
I agree. I guess I used to feel self conscious about it because I'd stuff one or two full trash bags in a public trash can. That makes people stare, sometimes, lol. And I hate when people litter, too.
The most important feeling a woman can have is in her gut! Trust your instincts!! Please stay safe out there sister! Love your positive attitude- and...tbh...I get happy seeing a Trader Joes too! lol
Hey Monique, blessings to you. One thing you can do when a conversation with strangers get too long, go to your ring tone selection on your phone (where you change your ringtone) and that will seem as if you received a call and say to that person "I gotta answer this call, nice chatting with you". That will cut the conversation short.
Parking near apartments is great. Nobody really pays attention to you. If your quiet. Don't play loud music or dump trash. City vandwellers have parks, fast food restaurants to dump at. As well as family & friends. Or if you shower at the local gym. Walmart as well is great. Put container in a bag & dump it. No worries. Also if you see porta potties in the area.
It's frustrating how people often assume that living in a van or car means you're homeless in the wrong way rather than people choosing that kind of lifestyle. It seems like Karen was staring at you and being nosy. Please stay safe and try to avoid unwanted attention.
I agree. I once told an employee at a dealership that I was living in my car (back when I lived in my Buick) by choice and he just looked at me and said "Awww, don't worry, things will get better." He completely ignored what I said. I was SO annoyed!!
That would feel creepy to me too. Chattanooga seems like a busy place. Good you recognized your part in these situations. As a woman, it’s often hard, as we are too polite. These people were likely just curious and wanting to be friendly, but that’s not known, and you are not obligated to engage anyone in conversation. Glad you found a nice quiet place. ❤
Salaam sister 😊 I’m the same as you too, I’m way too polite and don’t know how to cut off a conversation 😅😅 InShaAllah you will improve with this. I’ve been watching your channel for a little while and I wanted to say it’s so refreshing to see a Muslim woman doing vanlife. I’m also considering doing it in the future 😊
I was beginning to think whoever knocked on your door put a sign on your van that said, stop and talk to me. lol I don't know what to say about that truck driver. Sometimes they are lonely and just want to talk, and sometimes they are "lonely".
Hi Monique. I love watching your videos. You have a soothing voice. I know you did not ask. Please forgive me if I overstep my boundaries. You stated you need to do better with having long conversations with some people. Set a timer on your phone. Make it a ring tone if you can. Perhaps that will be the distraction for you and the other person to end the conversation. Peace on your journey😊.
Hi 😊! I DID ask in the comment section! I asked for advice on cutting conversations short, so thank you. I'm going to try this. Peace to you, as well ❤️.
I’m a female truck driver, now van driver-van dweller. Some male truck drivers are just lonely, honey, and intrusive ! Lots of us are hiding in our trucks from them, so don’t feel bad! Also I have been in areas where I was the only one who looked like me. I leave as soon as I can! It’s not just you, it’s the environment! Keep your head up!
A good way to end the conversation is after they ask if your ok, thank them for their concern then immediately put the window up. This should let them know to leave you alone.
Omg! Taking it to the public restroom is such a good idea! Lol AND an obvious one that just occurred to me now that ypu said it! I'm leaving for Quartzsite on the 19th (hopefully) and honestly I just want to take care of it easily...thanks! And so scary...glad your ok!
lol, I'm glad you like that tip 😊. Oh, wow, I just saw that you uploaded your first van life road trip. Gotta put it on my 'watch later' list for when I'm winding down tonight. I look forward to following your journey ❤️.
@@simmpleenough That's so cool of you to watch my stuff! THANKS! ;) And bad news...I will not make it to Quartzsite, I just don't have the funds. I've decided that I really am going to have to TRY and get something until I can afford to do it f/t, I just can't w/out being able to do Doordash since I'm not getting anything from YT...YET! I'm going to try to get a job at Goodwill, they will let me sit, I can't stand all day. I also didn't want to go to the Q w/out having AAA after my last 2 longer adventures in a vehicle and them breaking down on me...I just gotta focus and work for awhile...but I will STILL be putting out content, I got plenty I haven't made yet! lol
I get it. I really want to head west this year, but I’m gonna have to do gig work for several months to save more money, since gas and food are more expensive over there. I don’t want to deplete my savings to travel, so I’m gonna work and save up some money just for that trip. Gotta do what we gotta do. We’ll both make it to quartzsite one of these days!
I've learned to send ppl on their way, they approach my car and I say can I help you I'm on a conversation, ok have a good day OR I have to move location, UGH BECAUCE they couldn't park at the other 100 spots😂gotta laugh
Not sure if you are already aware of this, but look for a Cracker Barrel when you need to stay overnight in a city or at a Love's truck stop. I watch a handful of RUclipsrs that do VanLife/RVLife and I picked up this tip from them. (I plan on doing the RVLife myself in a couple of years.) I found out that this is true when I started paying attention to the Cracker Barrel I pass by on my way to work early in the morning. I've seen vehicles from the size of vans to large class A RVs. That way you won't have to worry about cops or security bothering you.
Good for you for listening to your gut. I traveled solo for a while and just said, well I gave to go. Take care of yourself! It does mean being ready to drive away. Frustrating.
Oof what creepsss! So glad you made it thru safely and you trusted your gut 🙌🏽 I feel like most of us socialized as girls are taught to people please and as a result have a difficult time setting healthy boundaries in many ways including social situations like what you experienced. *sigh* As challenging as it is to unlearn, it IS possible and YOU CAN DO IT❣️ P.S. I highly recommend replacing your regular blender with a kitchen aid immersion blender. You’ll save water, time, storage space and energy. Plus, you can blend things inside a large, wide mouth, glass jar (like the one you have)
@dub4life777 Thank you for the motivation! I think I can do it, too. I'll get better at it. And I have an immersion blender in my van, I just prefer the Vitamix 😊.
I noticed you have some sort of foot pump for your water system. Could you possibly do a more detailed video on that? I have arthritis and I think that would help me but I don't have a clue how to set it up. Thanks
Yes, I have a foot pump. These are the two videos I watched to learn how to install it. How they help 😊 ruclips.net/video/HKmIpoaG5_I/видео.htmlsi=wr6L-ftlME-00saV ruclips.net/video/xh7e7IBzpoA/видео.htmlsi=VkjAnrUycsgJ2unW
I was at the grocery store the other day. I saw some plastic bags in a cart and thought someone had forgotten some of their groceries. When I glanced inside of one of the bags, it was full of someone's trash from their cars. They had left it for the courtesy clerk to toss when he gathered up the carts. They did not even have the decency to toss it in the trash themselves. At least you do that!
Yes, ALWAYS follow your instincts; God gave it to us as a gift to help keep us aware and safe...you did a great job listening to your instincts 👌 And window covers can be a good safety tool 🚐
Lastly, I SWEAR 🤣: SIMPLY flip your car visor to your driver's side window. Look ANYwhere but @ them WHILE MAINTAINING/BEING aware of their movements. Perhaps record for your benefit/safety. If someone is acting a fool on the passenger side: SAME visor behavior. My bad, this just sent me off.😅
My go to is to react as if your phone alerted you and say Oh it’s my husband or my boss, I have to take this. Thank you. ( roll up window and talk on you phone until they leave. I was once at my mailbox and a neighbor would not leave me alone. I reacted as if my phone in my pocket buzzed me. I pulled out my phone looked at the blank screen and said Oh sorry have to take this! Walked back up my driveway having a fake audible conversation. It’s fun and effective!
I learned this is the best way to cut off conversations - have a blank expression and don't really respond right away. I also pretend not to know English 90% of the time
Hi Monique sweetie, so good to see you😊. This was an eye-opener for me for more reasons than one. Being out there is not all peaches and cream. However, you did the right thing. That security didn't deserve the dignity of a conversation. As for those persons stopping and striking up a conversation, I used to be exactly like you, I'd sit there for hours talking, knowing I really did not wish to. That has changed. I now just nicely gesture with a hand wave (no thank you), or if I'm already within physical proximity of whomever, I may exchange a kind response, followed by, "it was nice talking, however, I have much to do. Take care and have a nice day." Then I'd carry on with what I'm doing. Thereafter, I just politely ignore them. I had to learn it, and I felt bad initially, but I no longer because I am always polite and respectful to others. However, a line has to be drawn at some point. Please be very careful. Continue to follow your gut and your intuition. I can't wait for you to get your land and build and get off the roads, there's just too much psychopaths popping up these days. It's just the reality of it. Yes, they are everywhere literally, but being out there in the "public" space limits our protection and rights, being on your private property, that now is something else, as trespassers can be prosecuted, etc etc legally. Guidance and protection always, sweetie. See you tomorrow 🙏🤍
What techniques do you use to respectfully cut conversations short?
I remind myself to these things:
I always have the right to answer a question or leave a question unanswered.
I always have the right to protect my safety and respect my boundaries.
I always have the right to keep the truth to myself and when needed make up a story when a stranger asks me where I go, where I live, where I work, whether I am single or not. Because they are strangers, the less they know, the better. It's none of their business.
I am friendly and polite but I am not born to please others.
It is their right to be interested and start conversations as it is my right to be interested or uninterested and cut conversations whenever I feel the need to.
How to respectfully cut conversations short?
Listen passively, do not give any reaction on what they are telling you, just be quiet and let them finish their sentence. Do not respond to anything of the last sentence. If you respond, you turn yourself into an active listener which is an invitation to them to talk to you more. Avoid that situation. So swallow all the words like: "Yeah / that's true / sure / really?" ... Just be silent. And then it depends on the situation you are at. If you planned to stay, say something like: "I am expecting a video call tomorrow morning and I still need to prepare some work, so have a nice afternoon / evening."
If I feel the people are good at heart or talk because of loneliness, then I will be super clear: I am sorry, I really appreciate your interest, but I have some work to do, so I can't stay talking and unfortunately need to end this conversation... :)
It depends on the person, I have done the no notice walk off or drive off, actively on my cellphone is also a good one and last but not least no English and then proceed to talk like I’m from the Sims game. I Baja cha c Baja chi c (the hardest part is keeping a straight face) 😂😂😂
I say I can’t talk right now but thank you. I use the look on my face and my voice tone.
Phone call! Especially in your situation being in your van. “Getting a phone call, need to run, have a nice day” Roll up your window and be done!
I’m so glad you moved from that parking lot. Too many creepy people! Listen to your gut! Stay safe my friend 😁
If the conversation is with a male with whom I am uncomfortable I say, I am just waiting for my husband to return. He should be here any moment and they usually leave.
I cut folks off when they start asking me personal questions, and/or just walk quickly away. No explanations. Ladies stop feeling obligated to answering questions people ask you. Give them a firm stare and send them on their way. Your safety is of the utmost importance. And that giggling let's them know you are a good, easy target. Always remember, people can be vicious; man or woman. Sometimes, even though they may approach you or see you separately, they could be working together. Use your instincts. Purchase a visor for your windshield. Put that up when you are sitting in your driver's seat. Perhaps sit in the back so folks do not see you. Remember, when pulling into any location, scope it out. Believe me, just because you didn't notice folks, they certainly have noticed you. Be safe.
Your skin is beautiful
Ladies stop telling these strange men your business. Walk away. A strange man should never ask a woman where she is going and if she is alone. Walk away. And please keep your hands off of your phone and out of your pockets when walking. Don't make yourselves a target. Walk quickly and with confidence. Keep your head up. Again, stop talking to these men in these streets. Times have changed. People are crazy. Get in and off that road before dark in unfamiliar areas. Be wise. Be safe.
Good advice
Good, you Left, be careful, be aware of surroundings
Strange men who come up to women are almost always a dangerous enemy. Don't be nice, they're not. Be safe out there.
FACTS/TRUTH. They KNOW EXACTLY what they're doing. They also KNOW how MANY females/children will respond, then it may be too late...
Exactly.
Straight facts!❤❤❤❤❤
I always notice the people in van life or the viewers avoid talking about carrying a firearm for protection, I get it everyone not comfortable toting dat steel some of us carry a firearm just like you carry a cellphone no stress at all family
She chose to live this life
Thank you for your videos. Practice what you are going to say when strangers try to talk to you. Just say something like, "I can't talk now, I have an appointment." Then leave. Other than a few words, don't engage with them. You owe them nothing. Be safe.
I’m getting such great advice in the comment section. I’ll try this next time. Thank you.
Yes, I think it's completely reasonable to say, Oh, I have to get going OR I need to make a call. Whatever and then go on about your day. Don't even pay any attention to their reaction, just follow through and leave.
Yeah this. Also I wanted to say, this is not on you. Hearing you speak to the truck driver, you’re giving 1-2 word responses. If these people had the social awareness you showed, they would know you don’t want to talk. Thus you have to push the closing past your comfort zone and say the things like, “alright, I have to go to an appointment.”
@@simmpleenoughMonique, there are many comments suggesting that you out right lie about cutting a conversation short. This is not necessary, as you are a woman of character, but they may not be and are accustomed to lying when things get uncomfortable. I encourage you to always speak truth. That way you don’t ever have to make up things, which is more stressful, especially when you’re not used to doing that. Ex: “Okay, gotta run; Got some things to take care of.” or “Alright, take care and have a nice day,” as you’re walking away or rolling up your window.❤
Having an appointment in the middle of the night??
Make a sign that says “NO THANK YOU”. Hold it up to the window and don’t feel obligated to roll your window down. You never know what is on the mind of someone. Thank you for sharing.🤗
I’m gonna try that. Thank you 😊
I like this idea.
I like the sign idea
Security didn’t want you to leave, he wanted to pick on you. Good for you, the way you handled it was brilliant. 👑
Thanks 😊
I was thinking the same thing! So true 💯
True he wouldn't have threatened to call police to force you to respond if he thought you were a man & couldn't have towed you / without a badge....you didn't have to respond - with a badge you still didn't have to respond & they would have left ....Trump started a Culture of bullying Black women 🤔next time don't speak back- wait til white man walks away & drive away not revealing your face wear COVID mask👍🏿
I noticed that too. He didn't say you can't park here, he said open the door, or I'm calling the police.
@@PaigesofaDiarythat could have been a very dangerous thing don't ever Open your door. He wanted to do more than pick on her
I'm so glad you keep choosing to leave places that disturb your peace. It's known that some truck drivers are predators who evade capture because they stay on the move from state to state and prey on those who appear vulnerable. Keep up the great content and enjoy living a life of freedom.
My old manager told me this when it comes to strange men, “You don’t have to be nice.” I never forgot that and I’ve used it to this day. Also girl the last person that needs to know you live in your car is someone who is also living in their car. I’m sure you’ve parked In hospital lots before but scope out the security and I know you’ve done hotels too. Those are known to be the safer places. Walmart is too hood to take the risk even in a nice area the dregs will be there at night.
its not that easy for woc. I think she is extremely bright and handled it well. She got the right vibes, telling them to F off or something would have made them call the cops and we know how THAT would have gone.
If I get the knock, I’m not taking down all my window coverings. I’m just starting the van, pull the front cover down after I’m in drive and just go… go… goooo… right out the lot, hazard lights and pull off two side coverings.
Also if I’m in a gas station truck stop and a driver makes eye contact, I start my car and move 2-3 spaces so they get the idea I don’t want to talk. I avoid people at all costs. 😂
One thing I forgot to mention, sometimes the truckers think I’m a lot lizard. A woman, in a van, alone…. Sometimes when they are not sure they make small talk. When they are sure, they ask me how much. 🤦🏻♀️
lol, I don't blame you. I've never heard of lot lizard until now. Several people have suggested the same thing.
I had a guy ask me a whole bunch of questions and I straight up told him, “I don’t feel comfortable answering your questions you are a stranger and I don’t know you”
He tried to turn it back on me! 🤣🤣 as if I started the conversation with him.
I left immediately.
I've had that same conversation
I was actually just genuinely interested in her situation
But sometimes I forget what I look like
My response was simply
" I'm sorry sorry, my bad, stay safe"
I felt no need to explain or defend myself because she wasn't looking for an explanation
lol! I'm gonna get to your level one day.
That was so smart to not engage with the security guy, or step out like he probably wanted. There was no reason to threaten with the cops, I think he was on a power trip and that’s scary. All they know is escalation. Good for you. Beautiful lighting on your indoor shots btw 💜🤩
I was happy he didn’t block her in.
@juniperwildflowers Thank you ❤️
@Johnis2nd Me, too! I was worried about that as I was crawling to the front seat.
Yes! And anyone can say they are security just to get you out of the vehicle. Predators lie all the time.
It must've been alarming to be awakened to the sound of someone pounding on your window. Alhamdulillah, glad to know everything is fine. Yes, happy you had window shades in place.
It was! Alhamdulillah, thank you 😊
Yup. That was weird with that trucker in his big ass truck and that lady staring at you. Some people dont know how to respect others privacy.
For real.
Best conversation stopper for nosy men: “ why are you asking me all these intrusive questions? You’re making me uncomfortable. Wait whileI take your picture and get your license plate“
❤❤
I put my window cover up often to keep people from seeing me...I really like that feeling of a little privacy 😊
That’s what attracts people especially at night,they’re like why is this out at night?
@@chinyereogazi ummm...she's out in the middle of the day, not night when this happened...plus, I STILL would put it up at night, maybe you don't want the sun in your car the next morning...silly, you just want to argue
Monique, please watch what states you are visiting. Please. It may appear to your generation that much has changed but much has not. You First!
I believe you.
Yesssss,you are so right if any thing it has gotten worse.
When they do that, just turn it back around them. Ask him a million questions. In that case you CAN answer a question with a question.
I've done that before. Ask super personal questions. They are uncomfortable and stop asking dumb questions.
You’ll get the hang of it, you’re getting better every day and you’re an inspiration. Stay safe and much love from Missouri. ❤
Thank you!
Growing up in NYC, strange people approach you all the time. I can professionally ignore anyone. I am grateful for that skill, especially outside of NY where people feel entitled to your attention.
I'm from NYC too and agree 💯%
The City has helped me master the art of ignoring people, especially those who give me weird vibes.
Lol! I’m determined to gain this skill.
I'm so appreciative of your channel. I have to stay in my car until I can get into a senior apartment, which will be at least a year, probably more. I've been saving video channels to watch for awhile, now I have time to learn what I can from them. Watching your strength and calmness really helps me. I'm so impressed with how you've put your van together, I'm hoping I can get one at someday. Thanks for giving us inspiration through your channel.
You are very welcome ❤️❤️. I’m so happy you find my videos helpful.
WOW those were weird encounters. I don't live in a vehicle but when I park at a store I try to park far away from others and when someone parks right next to me I move immediately lol. You are a brave lady 🧡
That's what I do, too! I always park away from others, but someone just commented that parking away from others might be what makes me stand out and I can see their point. I need to find a middle ground; park a little closer to other vehicles, but not too close. I don't know, I'll figure it out. Thank you for your kind words ❤️
I do car life in Las Vegas. I always like when I have other campers around me because at least they get it. Lol.
lol. I stayed for that reason.
The police hate homeless with a passion in Vegas.I was looking to go over there(from LA) for a month till I head back to Dallas,but Vegas has some grimy areas.
I’m also working on not getting stuck in unwanted conversations 😩 I often can’t think of the right thing to say which is when a glance at my phone + ‘oops, my husband is calling, I need to get this, goodbye!’ always works
Be veeeeeery careful with these men! They're looking for lizards. Don't ever open your door for Security. Slightly roll the window down to speak. You did the right thing.❤
Their staring because your beautiful ❤and carry yourself modestly which is mysterious to them.
Thank you ❤️
I dump my grey water at self car washes. I also fill up my sink tank. The funny thing is that the car wash water, even if it is on the rinse setting, has some soap in it. Pre-soaped dish water! (I buy drinking water separately at a water store - $5 for 7 gallons of reverse osmosis).
Car washes reuse the water over and over, it’s all recycled, I never wash my car at those places
Don't know why I haven't thought about dumping my grey water when I'm at the car wash. Thank you 😊!!
@@kimdagnillo8246 I rarely wash the van there - just pull in, dump my grey water jug in the drain and fill my sink water jug for dishes. It's worth the $4 or so, every 6 weeks. Out of curiosity, how do you know all car washes on the planet recycle their water? Seems like an urban-myth, blanket statement to me.
@@kimdagnillo8246 Also, when your vehicle is 20' long, and 9' high, and you are a nomad, what other option is there to get it clean? Not sure how your comment is applicable to a vanlife channel.
@@katydidnt3906 my comment wasn’t written to you so you don’t need to be sure of anything
You are a flow master! 🌻But, please do work on the need to not feel polite. I had to learn that too and man it is a game-changer. Immediate shutdown. And you are giving way too much personal info, saying you are "traveling alone", "not from here". You owe them NOTHING. Good men won't get offended. Watch out for these men who often put airtags and trackers on cars, then get ya a day or two down the road. It is very rude for any man to talk to a woman by herself like that, inappropriate. Just ignore! Safe travels angel xo
I agree; I gave way too much info. Thank you for the tips.
Be careful in the south. Being Black and Muslim those people in the south will see you as a threat. We all know you are not. You handled everything well. When you want to cut off a conversation say, "I'm sorry I can't talk, I am in the middle of something". Or you can say, "I'm getting ready to leave". It's not rude, it's truthful. And if they won't leave you alone, drive away. I enjoy your videos so much. I hope you get some peace and quiet.
Thank you
It’s crazy to me that I live in a country where folks can’t sleep in a car, in parking lot while minding their business and not hurting anyone. Insane.
We live in a country where retail theft is approaching 100 billion dollars a year. Stores are the worst place to expect humane treatment because they see the most inhumane people among us all day and all night.
I imagine the folks who rob a store aren't exiting and getting in their car to spend the night. ...the same parking lot of the store they just robbed. ...with cameras covering the lot. Not sure how mentioning retail theft relates to a person sleeping in a car. But go off.
Had encounters like this, no van life involved.
They are not your friends.
Say or motion with your hand “ no thanks “. Then immediately, look away from them and Strongly Ignore them. Like, they’ve been rude to you...... because technically... they are.
Sometimes (not always or not even most times) a location will be a "Police Watch" undercover location because of certain known "issues" at a location. Their whole job is to blend into the location and get closeup first hand info, faces, cars, etc. The Flip Side Of That Coin is the predictable issues of that or any other public location and those who are oftentimes questionable at best. Here's an odd fact... NEVER ONCE as a 911 Police Dispatcher did I ever receive any 911 calls from anyone who was at a truck stop yet those locations are said by many to have predictable problems with predatory behaviors. If you haven't overnight at a LOVE'S ❤ beforehand you might think about doing it. HOWEVER, ALWAYS ASK inside at the TRUCKERS DISPATCHER COUNTER if you can stay for the night. Offer to show them your Driver's License or to give them your Vehicle's Plate Number, Vehicle's Make and Color. That's the SURE WAY TO NOT HAVE THE 3:00AM KNOCK AT YOUR DOOR! Their Security and the Police 🚔 will leave you alone because you're a WELCOMED GUEST, not an intruder on the property 😉.
Thank you for the tips.
That area probably is known for trafficking. I'm glad you left from that area. There's a place I used to hang out at and a lot of people would approach me back to back like that, come to find out that place was indeed known for trafficking. They eventually had an investigation open there, and all those businesses were closed down. That happened in the Poconos. Also if they saw you had a camera, they may have thought you were an undercover. Thank you for getting the heck outta there lol. New sub!
Yup, that's what others are saying as well. Thank you for subbing!
@@simmpleenough if anything you looked like you were in a sting operation lol lol 😂 but seriously it’s sad but also eye opening when you’re actually experiencing that in the moment.
You have absolutely no reason to be embarrassed. I would be stressed, I have difficulty understanding why people are petty and intrusive.
Hi Monique thanks for sharing. May I be so bold to advise you never say I am going to leave to whoever say we are leaving. Don't let people think you're alone. ❤
Just say take care and roll up your window. If you’re out of your vehicle, put your things away and say take and get in your van. No eye contact, but stay aware. Short and to the point. I’m glad you moved each time.
You did the right thing, there was no need for you to open your door. The fact that he asked you to open your door was a big red flag. Glad you’re safe.
That's why places like cracker barrel, quick trip and 7 eleven said that it's ok for people that lives in their cars, vans or SUVs to park in their parking lot if they're traveling and it's safe because of the security there.
I am new to your channel. I must say I am proud of you. You handled yourself very well. It's unfortunate about the people who felt entitled to stare at you. This happens everywhere. I was pulled over by the police going through a small town in Florida at midnight. They claimed my license plate lights were out... (I believe they thought I was a man) . My advice to you is to not roll your window down. Just crack it if you must speak to someone. This signifies that they are not welcome, and they are not safe. Rolling down the window (in my opinion) signifies that you welcome conversation. Remember: you don't owe anyone anything, but you don't want to give them cause to say that you're acting suspiciously and call the police on you. Simply say," If you are in need of help or directions, I cannot assist you. I do not wish to speak to strangers. Have a blessed day. Good bye." Close the window, and then open a book (which is unassuming. Watch them in your peripherals or mirrors. If they leave right away you should be fine. If they immediately pull out a phone and talk while they are looking at your vehicle, execute your plan B. (That might be going into the store) Many people are fearful of us wearing the hijab. It's not fair.
Thank you for the tips ❤️
Nice to see you; I haven’t seen a video from you on my feed for quite awhile. Love the new van and as always, your cooking looks yummy.
The encounters you had are creepy. Every word you say to these men encourages them to keep trying to engage you. You must put a stop to these random people intruding on your privacy by being DIRECT. It’s not rude to be direct.
“I am not looking to be social. Thank you for respecting my privacy.” Then go back to what you were doing. The person will go away.
I have good luck parking in more industrial areas or areas with businesses. Parking lots invite more nosy, uninvited people.
👋🏽 Chattanoogan here! I hate that folks mad you feel uncomfortable while passing through town. I found your channel in my feed and since my partner and I will be living traveling in an RV soon I was curious. TWB (traveling while black) in the US, especially nowadays is a source of anxiety for me. You handled your situations calmly and with grace and I’ll keep watching to take inspiration. Safe journey 😌
Thank you
You are doing great taking care of yourself ❤
Thank you!
Believe me, it’s the hijab attracting attention to u sometimes negative & sometimes positive.
You should consider publishing a Van Life Cookbook!
Absolutely, the meals look delicious and I’d love to know all the ingredients and how to use them correctly
I'm hoping to make one!
In my personal experience, developing the skill and confidence to end unwanted conversations begins with understanding and changing my people-pleasing psychology and habits. As my mindset shifted, my behavior largely changed on its own.
Changing my own people-pleasing mindset and behavior went something like this:
1) Recognizing and acknowledging the huge drain that people-pleasing, chatty, meaningless conversations had on my energy.
2) Committing to valuing my time and energy more than I valued being polite.
3) Giving myself full permission to stop engaging in people-pleasing behavior.
4) Affirming and reclaiming right authenticity, and it's importance to my emotional and spiritual well-being.
(At this point, I should mention I'm an introvert.)
I adopted a strategy that goes something like this:
1) I set a 5-minute max for any chatty, meaningless conversation.
2) I watch my energy. As soon as I notice it drop, I commit to, and create, a moment to exit the conversation immediately.
3) While being firm, but kind, I speak in a louder voice than I've used in the conversation and say in a cheerful voice, "Well, it was nice chatting with you. Enjoy the rest of your day." Or something to that effect. To emphasize the words, I might make a hand gesture, raising my arm with open palm and extending it slightly, a non-threatening way of saying good-bye.
Sometimes, I offer a brief explanation, for example:
1) "It was nice chatting with you. I've really got to get back to [this task/project]. Enjoy the rest of your day."
2) "It was nice chatting with you. I've really got to run. Have a great rest of your day."
I can't emphasize enough, that everything starts with the mindset -- recognizing, understanding and overcoming the undermining personal psychology. Shifts in behavior automatically follow and, of course, improve with practice.
This response is amazing! Thank you so much; I'm screenshotting this so I'll always have it in my phone when I'm in situations like this. Thank you, again, for taking the time to write all of this.
@@simmpleenough Sharing the benefit of lessons learned is one of the true joys in life; at least I think so. I am pleased that you found this useful. Happy travels!
Appreciate how vulnerable you are. Setting strong boundaries is important. You are a beautiful soul ❤
Thank you ❤️
That area may be known locally as a place to pick up women. When not sure about an area park next to main building.
Yup, that could’ve been it.
We, as women, are taught by society or what have you, to be too nice. Especially women of colour need to be very discerning. If this situation happened to me, my first instinct would have been to put my car in gear ⚙️ without speaking, and leave. As-salamu alaykum 🙏🏽
So white women don't get raped?? What are you saying? It's racist
@@katydidnt3906 Nobody cares what happens to black women. They're not Petito.
@phabulousOne Yea, I'm gonna work on being too nice. I'm over it, lol. Wa alaikum as salaam ❤️
I’m in my 70’s and I too used to have trouble ending a conversation or not even starting one bc I was afraid of appearing unfriendly. As I have aged I really don’t care what people think of me and I feel confident being stand-off ish. Just roll up your window and drive away. I will pray for your safety and well being as you live your life the way you choose. Blessings.
Exactly ! If anyone has the balls to treat a stranger like they know them, with me I’ll make them wish they didn’t
@pattyann7803 I'll get to your level one day! Thank you for the prayers and kind words.
@kimdagnillo8246 lol 😂
"Thank you---- it was nice meeting you----have a great day----!" This is a polite dismissal, along with your beautiful smile, is conducive to your gentle nature.
Thank you! I'm going to start practicing. I'll get better, eventually.
No , don't be polite. They'll latch onto that in their obssesive mind. We recently had a woman who was stalked by her ex employee because when he got fired she said really kind things like, oh I'm so sorry, and hope you'll be OK. From those few sentences he stalked her on Facebook then broke into her unit and stabbed her over 100 times.
You owe NOONE polite speech. You don't have to speak. Only monosyllabic responses, if anything. And DONT SMILE!!!! He can already tell she's feminine and weaker by her frame and high soft voice. Deeper voices indicate stronger women. So don't say anything at all unless forced, and then monosyllables!!
both of your front seats should be visible and clear of everything when parked in parking lots. Close your black blackout curtains to the back so that your home is invisible. No one will know you’re in there
Great video the downside of vanlife sometimes getting the knock in the middle of the night. Please be careful and safe looking forward to seeing the next episode
I would think most folks would not mind you putting trash in the trash cans. That's what they are there for. It's better than throwing it out your window on the ground, which you do find folks do in some rural areas. I find that horrible 😡
I agree. I guess I used to feel self conscious about it because I'd stuff one or two full trash bags in a public trash can. That makes people stare, sometimes, lol. And I hate when people litter, too.
You'll get better at cutting convos short. I believe in you, Monique!
Thank you 😊!
The most important feeling a woman can have is in her gut! Trust your instincts!!
Please stay safe out there sister! Love your positive attitude- and...tbh...I get happy seeing a Trader Joes too! lol
lol! I knew it wasn't just me who gets excited about seeing one.
Hey Monique, blessings to you. One thing you can do when a conversation with strangers get too long, go to your ring tone selection on your phone (where you change your ringtone) and that will seem as if you received a call and say to that person "I gotta answer this call, nice chatting with you". That will cut the conversation short.
Thank you!
Very good follow your gut enjoy your next campsite. May it be full of joy beauty and peace
Parking near apartments is great. Nobody really pays attention to you. If your quiet. Don't play loud music or dump trash. City vandwellers have parks, fast food restaurants to dump at. As well as family & friends. Or if you shower at the local gym. Walmart as well is great. Put container in a bag & dump it. No worries. Also if you see porta potties in the area.
It's frustrating how people often assume that living in a van or car means you're homeless in the wrong way rather than people choosing that kind of lifestyle. It seems like Karen was staring at you and being nosy. Please stay safe and try to avoid unwanted attention.
I agree. I once told an employee at a dealership that I was living in my car (back when I lived in my Buick) by choice and he just looked at me and said "Awww, don't worry, things will get better." He completely ignored what I said. I was SO annoyed!!
That would feel creepy to me too. Chattanooga seems like a busy place. Good you recognized your part in these situations. As a woman, it’s often hard, as we are too polite. These people were likely just curious and wanting to be friendly, but that’s not known, and you are not obligated to engage anyone in conversation. Glad you found a nice quiet place. ❤
You are doing so well while you are learning. Don’t beat yourself up for not hitting it out the park the first few times. Thank you for sharing! ❤
Please start to set boundaries ❤
Salaam sister 😊 I’m the same as you too, I’m way too polite and don’t know how to cut off a conversation 😅😅 InShaAllah you will improve with this. I’ve been watching your channel for a little while and I wanted to say it’s so refreshing to see a Muslim woman doing vanlife. I’m also considering doing it in the future 😊
Salaam sis ❤️. Thanks for the encouragement. We'll both get better at it.
I was beginning to think whoever knocked on your door put a sign on your van that said, stop and talk to me. lol
I don't know what to say about that truck driver. Sometimes they are lonely and just want to talk, and sometimes they are "lonely".
Interesting situations you encountered tested your calm and cool demeanor. I’d probably hop in the driver seat a skedaddle.
Your Hijab is an attraction to some people.
Some great suggestions here.
I have heard of women saying they have covid and isolating. That usually gets rid of them fast 🏃♂️ 😅
lol!
Hi Monique. I love watching your videos. You have a soothing voice. I know you did not ask. Please forgive me if I overstep my boundaries. You stated you need to do better with having long conversations with some people. Set a timer on your phone. Make it a ring tone if you can. Perhaps that will be the distraction for you and the other person to end the conversation.
Peace on your journey😊.
Hi 😊! I DID ask in the comment section! I asked for advice on cutting conversations short, so thank you. I'm going to try this. Peace to you, as well ❤️.
I love the rain because it’s just quieter & less people out.
I’m a female truck driver, now van driver-van dweller. Some male truck drivers are just lonely, honey, and intrusive !
Lots of us are hiding in our trucks from them, so don’t feel bad! Also I have been in areas where I was the only one who looked like me. I leave as soon as I can!
It’s not just you, it’s the environment! Keep your head up!
Keeping you in prayer 🙏
Never roll down your window to talk to someone bugging you. You do not owe them anything. Be safe. We care. ❤
just say I am waiting for my husband to come back. We are good, thankyou.
First thing I learned from sleeping in my Honda Element keep keys and glasses handy and always in the same spot,for an easy grab
A good way to end the conversation is after they ask if your ok, thank them for their concern then immediately put the window up. This should let them know to leave you alone.
You gain knowledge from experience you can’t expect to get it right off the bat
Hi! I notice that a lot of people use the Overlander app to check for safe places to sleep
Hi! I use that app, too.
Omg! Taking it to the public restroom is such a good idea! Lol AND an obvious one that just occurred to me now that ypu said it! I'm leaving for Quartzsite on the 19th (hopefully) and honestly I just want to take care of it easily...thanks! And so scary...glad your ok!
lol, I'm glad you like that tip 😊. Oh, wow, I just saw that you uploaded your first van life road trip. Gotta put it on my 'watch later' list for when I'm winding down tonight. I look forward to following your journey ❤️.
@@simmpleenough That's so cool of you to watch my stuff! THANKS! ;) And bad news...I will not make it to Quartzsite, I just don't have the funds. I've decided that I really am going to have to TRY and get something until I can afford to do it f/t, I just can't w/out being able to do Doordash since I'm not getting anything from YT...YET! I'm going to try to get a job at Goodwill, they will let me sit, I can't stand all day. I also didn't want to go to the Q w/out having AAA after my last 2 longer adventures in a vehicle and them breaking down on me...I just gotta focus and work for awhile...but I will STILL be putting out content, I got plenty I haven't made yet! lol
I get it. I really want to head west this year, but I’m gonna have to do gig work for several months to save more money, since gas and food are more expensive over there. I don’t want to deplete my savings to travel, so I’m gonna work and save up some money just for that trip. Gotta do what we gotta do. We’ll both make it to quartzsite one of these days!
@@simmpleenough YES! Hope to see ya there! (The gig economy is doing so bad! It's so slow due to inflation!)
You are protected❤🎉
Have a great week!
I've learned to send ppl on their way, they approach my car and I say can I help you I'm on a conversation, ok have a good day OR I have to move location, UGH BECAUCE they couldn't park at the other 100 spots😂gotta laugh
lol. They gotta park RIGHT next to you. I’ll never understand it.
That’s why is very important to have a security camera for van life or a van life security system.
Not sure if you are already aware of this, but look for a Cracker Barrel when you need to stay overnight in a city or at a Love's truck stop. I watch a handful of RUclipsrs that do VanLife/RVLife and I picked up this tip from them. (I plan on doing the RVLife myself in a couple of years.) I found out that this is true when I started paying attention to the Cracker Barrel I pass by on my way to work early in the morning. I've seen vehicles from the size of vans to large class A RVs. That way you won't have to worry about cops or security bothering you.
Good for you for listening to your gut. I traveled solo for a while and just said, well I gave to go. Take care of yourself! It does mean being ready to drive away. Frustrating.
Please stay safe - seems best for you to park at campgrounds.
Peace. You can have a tiny bowl with soapy water And then have a basin that you can fill with some rinse water to dip your dishes in. Peace
Someone probably commented already about responding in the singular “I” vs “we”. Maybe in your next video you can discuss.
You handled that “security”guy so well.
Next time I would start saying we instead of I. Glad you moved on 😊
Thank you.
Oof what creepsss! So glad you made it thru safely and you trusted your gut 🙌🏽 I feel like most of us socialized as girls are taught to people please and as a result have a difficult time setting healthy boundaries in many ways including social situations like what you experienced. *sigh*
As challenging as it is to unlearn, it IS possible and YOU CAN DO IT❣️
P.S. I highly recommend replacing your regular blender with a kitchen aid immersion blender. You’ll save water, time, storage space and energy. Plus, you can blend things inside a large, wide mouth, glass jar (like the one you have)
I’m jealous of her vitamix!
Nothing replaces a Vitamix
@dub4life777 Thank you for the motivation! I think I can do it, too. I'll get better at it. And I have an immersion blender in my van, I just prefer the Vitamix 😊.
@Johnis2nd lol, aww.
@kimdagnillo8246 Exactly!! I'm not loyal to any brand on earth...except Vitamix!
Also if you haven't checked. Make sure you are not in a sundown area. If so be careful.
I noticed you have some sort of foot pump for your water system. Could you possibly do a more detailed video on that? I have arthritis and I think that would help me but I don't have a clue how to set it up. Thanks
Yes, I have a foot pump. These are the two videos I watched to learn how to install it. How they help 😊
ruclips.net/video/HKmIpoaG5_I/видео.htmlsi=wr6L-ftlME-00saV
ruclips.net/video/xh7e7IBzpoA/видео.htmlsi=VkjAnrUycsgJ2unW
Thank you so much.
I was at the grocery store the other day. I saw some plastic bags in a cart and thought someone had forgotten some of their groceries. When I glanced inside of one of the bags, it was full of someone's trash from their cars. They had left it for the courtesy clerk to toss when he gathered up the carts. They did not even have the decency to toss it in the trash themselves. At least you do that!
That’s ridiculous 🙄.
Yes, ALWAYS follow your instincts; God gave it to us as a gift to help keep us aware and safe...you did a great job listening to your instincts 👌
And window covers can be a good safety tool 🚐
Lastly, I SWEAR 🤣: SIMPLY flip your car visor to your driver's side window. Look ANYwhere but @ them WHILE MAINTAINING/BEING aware of their movements. Perhaps record for your benefit/safety. If someone is acting a fool on the passenger side: SAME visor behavior. My bad, this just sent me off.😅
Unfortunately this is part of Van life. I'm glad you're safe.
Exactly. Thank you ❤️
My go to is to react as if your phone alerted you and say Oh it’s my husband or my boss, I have to take this. Thank you. ( roll up window and talk on you phone until they leave.
I was once at my mailbox and a neighbor would not leave me alone. I reacted as if my phone in my pocket buzzed me. I pulled out my phone looked at the blank screen and said Oh sorry have to take this!
Walked back up my driveway having a fake audible conversation. It’s fun and effective!
I learned this is the best way to cut off conversations - have a blank expression and don't really respond right away. I also pretend not to know English 90% of the time
😂😂 love this suggestion.
Hi Monique sweetie, so good to see you😊. This was an eye-opener for me for more reasons than one. Being out there is not all peaches and cream. However, you did the right thing. That security didn't deserve the dignity of a conversation.
As for those persons stopping and striking up a conversation, I used to be exactly like you, I'd sit there for hours talking, knowing I really did not wish to. That has changed. I now just nicely gesture with a hand wave (no thank you), or if I'm already within physical proximity of whomever, I may exchange a kind response, followed by, "it was nice talking, however, I have much to do. Take care and have a nice day." Then I'd carry on with what I'm doing. Thereafter, I just politely ignore them.
I had to learn it, and I felt bad initially, but I no longer because I am always polite and respectful to others. However, a line has to be drawn at some point. Please be very careful. Continue to follow your gut and your intuition. I can't wait for you to get your land and build and get off the roads, there's just too much psychopaths popping up these days. It's just the reality of it. Yes, they are everywhere literally, but being out there in the "public" space limits our protection and rights, being on your private property, that now is something else, as trespassers can be prosecuted, etc etc legally.
Guidance and protection always, sweetie. See you tomorrow 🙏🤍
I’m slowly but surely learning how to draw that line. Thank you ❤️.
No disrespect…As someone else stated you may want to wear a beanie so not to draw attention..❤🥰
Yeah definitely leave and go to a more populated area.
I say, 'thanks for asking, I am on a deadline & need to finish something currently. Take care & have a good day!"