When they said that is means „I miss the old you when you believed in everything, every single lie I was telling you, you were naive, insecure, easy to manipulate and unaware of my shitty behaviour and miserable ass. I miss the old you when I could treat you badly and at the end you were apologising to me for things I did to you. I miss the old you when I could have full control over you”
My ex actually told me this. He said I “ use to be so nice when we first got together”. I guess he didn’t factor in the mental and emotional abuse taking its toll.
😂 I don’t even remember the old me…she doesn’t exist any longer. I just booked a trip to Puerto Rico 🇵🇷 ✈️ I’m loving life and I don’t ever want to be so gullible and careless with my heart again 💡
Yes I saw how I was fighting back towards the end and it made his treatment towards me so much worst . I said to him, "I'm going to leave you for the umteenth time! This time you CAN find someone else to control and manipulate!" He already had someone else.
You are more of a man than they could EVER hope to be, #LeeHammock. You have dignity, integrity, and genuine respect for humanity. They criticize you because, much like what we targets/"victims" do (I HATE using the word "victim"...cringe...but I'm trying to make a point...lol), you simply place in front of them a mirror, in which even they themselves are ashamed and disgusted at what they see reflecting back at them, wincing at their own reflection and try to run away and hide from what they already know they are. THAT'S PRECISELY the REAL reason for their facade/fake portrayed lifestyle in the FIRST place- to keep the truth hidden at all costs. They're jealous of you learning to practice expanding your capability to self-reflect, empathize, and hold space for others. You symbolize and represent ACCOUNTABILITY in their eyes, my friend. I'm pretty certain I speak for us all in saying you are a man to be admired and respected, and we are so thankful for you and the other self-aware narcissists giving their experiences and perceptions on many different social media platforms as well, who with grace and humility make many(!) personal sacrifices in order to help others live better lives; I don't know about you specifically, or anyone else who is reading- but from where I'M from, we call people who do things like that "heroes". Own it. You deserve it. And your amazing wife as well- her strength is inspiring, her genuine love for you and her family clearly obvious- she's just as much of a heroine as you. 💯 Much love to ya'll. **They ALWAYS have someone else, and more than likely, many "someone's".
🙏🏼 this this happen to me😢 (us, I blew up the playground 2wks ago during his horrible discarding of me, he was grooming her. I contacted her . we exposed him together) the hardest time in my life right now😢
He didn't believe I would go the last time .we had separated more than once a d I came back .each time he would reduce money .I told him if he did that one more time it was completely over .he did and I did ....
This is exactly what happened with my ex-narcissist friend. When I finally figured out who she was, I took ten days off, when I went on a retreat to try to understand what was going on in my life and heal myself. She then gave me the silent treatment, and when she finally missed the "old me", she pulled me back in and said "I feel like you have changed, your life has changed...". Yes, indeed. I couldn't go back to "the old me" that was controlled by her and used to meet her need for validation and attention. Of course, she didn't like it, but said nothing and still made some false promises about our friendship. All of a sudden, she went no contact, and we haven't spoken in three weeks. She's not coming back, and even though I know it's for the best, this grieving process I'm in hurts a lot 💔
My ex wife said this in September. I assumed she meant the old me that was naive, didn't address issues, blind, and not as self loving. Lasted a month after that.
Mine used religion on me and after I got educated by the great Lee Hammond and started calling him out on stuff and not falling for the manipulation, he told me one day, “I’m worried about you. You’ve been talking really worldly lately.” Ha!!
When I moved out at 21 (stayed at home for college) my mom hated that I didn’t “need” her. But she pushed me away thinking that I would move back. I just learned to not rely on her for anything.
The old me literally doesn't exist. My narc left me when I started losing weight and was waiting to find out if I had cancer again. Almost a year and a half later I've lost over 130lbs and am still cancer free. We have 3 kids with special needs. It's tough somedays, because he doesn't help with Dr. appts, but I get what needs to be done. God is so good!
Another thing if you really are an empath as I am ! You always felt the fake in the hugs and kisses and words. It always felt questionable. You probably asked hey do you really love me ? So you care if I’m here or not ? Like 🙏🏽 please there so much gratification in walking away for good.
The most important things are the actions. They are the biggest red flags you will see. There you will clearly see they sure don´t love you. (BUT: Actions are always behind your back but one day you will find out for sure). Nothing can be hidden forever. Believe what you see then.
My ex misses the shy Nieves girl who was bright eye and in love, and made you my world, but after he broke down, abuse, and hurt that girl in so many ways, how can she react the same towards him anymore. He only misses the control he had over me. I remember my ex told me that he misses when we were open and honest with each other so let’s get back to that, I said No I was the only one who was honest, byeeee, am sooo happy. Five years after a BA degree and in my dream job, more money. Finally started my RUclips channel, an author, Wow!! I accomplished more in 5 years with 4 kids as a single mom than I did being married for12 years 😮
So I found your channel not long time ago - honestly, the amount of times I was like "Damn! That actually happened! A bit differently maybe, but Holy **** - that was behind all of that?!" 😮 Thank you Lee for making this content! 💪❤ I feel like it helps me get rid of residue intrusive thoughts or doubts that maybe it was not like that after all to this extend
You mean the naive, benefit of the doubt, trust until burned, versus trust will be earned me? Gone girl. "That make you want to snap your fingers and do your step." Nod to your club days. LOL
So glad you did and and going to keep doing it. You've helped me so much. 8 month anniversary of no contact. You probably, literally saved my life. ❤ thanks 🙏👍
1000%. When I stopped partying with him and became a MOTHER, like HE should have became a FATHER, that's when he said " I miss the OLD you" " your ruining my life now " and 1 thing I KNOW he hated about me, was that I never begged him to stay. Ever. We fought, he would say " then why am I with you !?!" And I said " IDK, LEAVE THEN !!" and he would be sooo hurt that I didn't beg for him to stay. I'm independent and he didn't like hearing that, he used to spoil me, he Needed mw to NEED him, and I was over that, and so, he began cheating on me, and now he's married to a girl who caters to him ❤ they're made for eachother. What a idiot . Good luck k with him .
He wanted me to stay in the house with the shades down and the curtins closed. Very dark. Went to school and got discarded. Stayed out. He was married again in 6 months.
I broke up with him,he sent an email asking to be friends and i said no! He asked me to erase all his information and he was going to cut all ties with me for always . As much as i feel so hurt We have broken up so many times and its exhausting apologizing everytime and him wanting to "win" every argument. He was Angry i post my pictures,angry i use Instagram and facebook. 😢
Please never look back. I promise the other side is amazing once you really push through babes ❤ I learned my narcs behaviors so well when I was done.. I pushed every narc button to make him go away. I became his worst nightmare 😂guess what he still tries to contact. Let his ass live his version of his best life.
They dark matter alright! Ha! Lee I NEVER let my soon to be ex narc catch me listening to your videos! You kept me one step ahead! “Let me buy you a drank!”
Mine loved seeing all his exes broken and depleted so I bossed up and lived better ❤ I am grateful he was in my life.. as sick as it sounds he pushed to better. Unfortunately when I started accomplishing more he took all credit 😂😂😂😂😂😂
I use to hear this all the time by my narcissistic family and narcissistic siblings. Thank you for pointing this out and explaining it ❤❤❤-Xclusyph Icon
Yep, i'm not that naive scared little girl I was 15 years ago. He sees, it's alot better, but still aggravating. He knows something is wrong with him, but he's still a narcissist. Prayers are powerful. Right now I'm trying to heal, I have multiple fractures of the spine and was diagnosed with osteoporosis so he still uses this over me knowing I can't work at the moment which is torture for me. It's in God's timing🙏
When I got my new job, my ex said, not that I forgot about him. When I said in September I would have a lot to do, he said: would I have time for him? I said of course! Then he broke up with me in June because he had no time for a relationship.
Lee, tysm for doing these videos. They have helped me so much in understanding what im going through and watching you be so passionate about us healing - it really did help anchor me to stay no contact. Ty Lee. I am grateful for your humor and your honesty to help me through this. ❤🙏
I had to laugh at your antics showing the antenna. It reminded me of a snail’s antenna. How you touch them and they instantly withdraw. I sometimes think what you really are is a Good Narcissist. I used to tell my N ex brother that he was so talented he should put it to good and not evil. Unfortunately it only enraged him because he can’t except criticism or disobedience. The abuse only became more HORRIFIC AND DEADLY. No-one would believe the destruction he perpetrated, still is..His main target?? ME. Kill, Steal and Destroy is what he said and he did it. Those words are from the Bible which says “the enemy( satan) only comes to kill, steal and destroy “ but Jesus says “I have come to give you life and life more abundantly. Jesus said “I have come to set the captives free “
He used to always say he wished our relationship was like his cousin's. His cousin's wife lets his cousin cheat. She's the type of person to say, "Well, he comes home to ME every night." He looks at her like a doormat, too.
I tell my husband often I miss thee person I fell for Not this person i ended up with. No one has ever said they miss who I was. 0nly that you were so much nicer {SUBMISSIVE}in the beginning. No, I was authentic in love and tainted overtime by toxicity.
They miss the old you that they could manipulate and control at all times. Also some take advantage of you because they know you are naïve and slow. Now that the access to you has been revoked, they try their VERY BEST to destroy you. Please stay away from these kinds of people and the other day I read somewhere that a narcissist doesn't have to touch or see you to kill you. SAVE YOURSELVES!!!
I answering, I am still me. Is that a right answer? Its comes out of my inside. So he realize that i know and see him. He said, I hate to get loose. I answering, you feel loosing becide me? No answer. Thank you Mister Lee
And I missed the person in the beginning. AND: No the control is over... I always hated it to be controlled (my mother also was such a control freak - it was very embarrissing when I was a teenager - and sorry I lied a lot to her - that all were emergency lies)... No control, no demands, no tyranny - I am finished with that and such people. (Okay my mother is still alive but she doesn´t live in my neighbourhood and she takes pills for her illness now).
Yes, if he's saying it as a put down. If he's a narcissist, they say this toake you feel guilty and forgive them and go back to being blind. They want you to feel like it's your fault that the relationship is falling apart. They'll also say "I've fallen out of love with you", "I fell in love with who you used to be". All that, you'll hear.
I literally got in trouble and yelled at by her when your video shorts popped up randomly 🫣. She heard you say the word narcissist and lost her shit. I was so confused 😵💫. That’s when my suspicions were confirmed .
They make the rules and they want to be able to be the only one who breaks the rules. That’s how they operate.
They can also trick you that you are the one who made those rules... exactly what happened to me.
💯💯💯
When they said that is means „I miss the old you when you believed in everything, every single lie I was telling you, you were naive, insecure, easy to manipulate and unaware of my shitty behaviour and miserable ass. I miss the old you when I could treat you badly and at the end you were apologising to me for things I did to you. I miss the old you when I could have full control over you”
🎯
"Don't be afraid to outgrow somebody who had the chance to grow with you" 💪
They can cry in their bathtub, we ain't gonna back off
💪
Totally 💯
My ex actually told me this. He said I “ use to be so nice when we first got together”. I guess he didn’t factor in the mental and emotional abuse taking its toll.
He said the same to me. I developed anxiety and panic attacks.
When I stood up to him, He said “Why now you are speaking up? Who put a battery on your back?” “ I liked the old you. You used to love me”
They miss the you that was stupid and blind to their BS
Stay woke
@@MentalHealnessGO LEE! Setting us FREE!!! 😂lol
Narc rages and narc word salads are literally childish tantrums
😂 I don’t even remember the old me…she doesn’t exist any longer. I just booked a trip to Puerto Rico 🇵🇷 ✈️ I’m loving life and I don’t ever want to be so gullible and careless with my heart again 💡
😆
he never had control ..i told him you cant control me or think for me
I missed his old self too that's what I told him
That happens
😂😂😂
For sure!!! Omg
Fell in love with an illusion that was never real
I missed HER own self. And that's natural no matter wtf is said in some pseudo scientific post modern human behaviour analysis by amateurs.
I reaiiy enjoy ignoring men now.
😂🫦
Women can have NPD as well
Yes I saw how I was fighting back towards the end and it made his treatment towards me so much worst . I said to him, "I'm going to leave you for the umteenth time! This time you CAN find someone else to control and manipulate!" He already had someone else.
🙌🏾
🙏🏽 ❤
You are more of a man than they could EVER hope to be, #LeeHammock. You have dignity, integrity, and genuine respect for humanity. They criticize you because, much like what we targets/"victims" do (I HATE using the word "victim"...cringe...but I'm trying to make a point...lol), you simply place in front of them a mirror, in which even they themselves are ashamed and disgusted at what they see reflecting back at them, wincing at their own reflection and try to run away and hide from what they already know they are.
THAT'S PRECISELY the REAL reason for their facade/fake portrayed lifestyle in the FIRST place- to keep the truth hidden at all costs.
They're jealous of you learning to practice expanding your capability to self-reflect, empathize, and hold space for others. You symbolize and represent ACCOUNTABILITY in their eyes, my friend.
I'm pretty certain I speak for us all in saying you are a man to be admired and respected, and we are so thankful for you and the other self-aware narcissists giving their experiences and perceptions on many different social media platforms as well, who with grace and humility make many(!) personal sacrifices in order to help others live better lives; I don't know about you specifically, or anyone else who is reading- but from where I'M from, we call people who do things like that "heroes".
Own it.
You deserve it.
And your amazing wife as well- her strength is inspiring, her genuine love for you and her family clearly obvious- she's just as much of a heroine as you. 💯
Much love to ya'll.
**They ALWAYS have someone else, and more than likely, many "someone's".
🙏🏼 this this happen to me😢 (us, I blew up the playground 2wks ago during his horrible discarding of me, he was grooming her. I contacted her . we exposed him together) the hardest time in my life right now😢
He didn't believe I would go the last time .we had separated more than once a d I came back .each time he would reduce money .I told him if he did that one more time it was completely over .he did and I did ....
"You're not the man I fell in love with".. thats what I used to get when I wouldn't put up with her nonsense..
Oh yeah, heard that more than a few times.
This is exactly what happened with my ex-narcissist friend. When I finally figured out who she was, I took ten days off, when I went on a retreat to try to understand what was going on in my life and heal myself.
She then gave me the silent treatment, and when she finally missed the "old me", she pulled me back in and said "I feel like you have changed, your life has changed...". Yes, indeed. I couldn't go back to "the old me" that was controlled by her and used to meet her need for validation and attention. Of course, she didn't like it, but said nothing and still made some false promises about our friendship. All of a sudden, she went no contact, and we haven't spoken in three weeks.
She's not coming back, and even though I know it's for the best, this grieving process I'm in hurts a lot 💔
They miss the gullible, naive version of myself that you met. When you start growing as a person they can’t take it
My ex wife said this in September. I assumed she meant the old me that was naive, didn't address issues, blind, and not as self loving. Lasted a month after that.
😔
It gets worse before it gets better am I right? She kept my kids from me for Xmas because I left. Anything to stifle my growth
Mine used religion on me and after I got educated by the great Lee Hammond and started calling him out on stuff and not falling for the manipulation, he told me one day, “I’m worried about you. You’ve been talking really worldly lately.” Ha!!
When I moved out at 21 (stayed at home for college) my mom hated that I didn’t “need” her. But she pushed me away thinking that I would move back. I just learned to not rely on her for anything.
The old me literally doesn't exist.
My narc left me when I started losing weight and was waiting to find out if I had cancer again. Almost a year and a half later I've lost over 130lbs and am still cancer free.
We have 3 kids with special needs. It's tough somedays, because he doesn't help with Dr. appts, but I get what needs to be done.
God is so good!
Another thing if you really are an empath as I am ! You always felt the fake in the hugs and kisses and words. It always felt questionable. You probably asked hey do you really love me ? So you care if I’m here or not ? Like 🙏🏽 please there so much gratification in walking away for good.
💯
The most important things are the actions. They are the biggest red flags you will see. There you will clearly see they sure don´t love you. (BUT: Actions are always behind your back but one day you will find out for sure). Nothing can be hidden forever. Believe what you see then.
Not only narcissists miss the old you. My enabling mother miss the old me too. But there comes a time to say good bye.
My ex misses the shy Nieves girl who was bright eye and in love, and made you my world, but after he broke down, abuse, and hurt that girl in so many ways, how can she react the same towards him anymore. He only misses the control he had over me. I remember my ex told me that he misses when we were open and honest with each other so let’s get back to that, I said No I was the only one who was honest, byeeee, am sooo happy. Five years after a BA degree and in my dream job, more money. Finally started my RUclips channel, an author, Wow!! I accomplished more in 5 years with 4 kids as a single mom than I did being married for12 years 😮
Continue enlightening us sir
🙌🏾
God literally told me enough is enough! Boom
💥
So I found your channel not long time ago - honestly, the amount of times I was like "Damn! That actually happened! A bit differently maybe, but Holy **** - that was behind all of that?!" 😮 Thank you Lee for making this content! 💪❤ I feel like it helps me get rid of residue intrusive thoughts or doubts that maybe it was not like that after all to this extend
You mean the naive, benefit of the doubt, trust until burned, versus trust will be earned me? Gone girl.
"That make you want to snap your fingers and do your step." Nod to your club days. LOL
So glad you did and and going to keep doing it. You've helped me so much. 8 month anniversary of no contact. You probably, literally saved my life. ❤ thanks 🙏👍
1000%.
When I stopped partying with him and became a MOTHER, like HE should have became a FATHER, that's when he said " I miss the OLD you" " your ruining my life now " and 1 thing I KNOW he hated about me, was that I never begged him to stay. Ever. We fought, he would say " then why am I with you !?!" And I said " IDK, LEAVE THEN !!" and he would be sooo hurt that I didn't beg for him to stay. I'm independent and he didn't like hearing that, he used to spoil me, he Needed mw to NEED him, and I was over that, and so, he began cheating on me, and now he's married to a girl who caters to him ❤ they're made for eachother. What a idiot . Good luck k with him .
God bless you lee!
God bless you
She won’t let me go, so I had to lie and say I cheated on her so she would finally discard me . Soon as the sex became a weapon I was done .
Im forever done!
🙌🏾
He wanted me to stay in the house with the shades down and the curtins closed. Very dark. Went to school and got discarded. Stayed out. He was married again in 6 months.
I broke up with him,he sent an email asking to be friends and i said no!
He asked me to erase all his information and he was going to cut all ties with me for always . As much as i feel so hurt
We have broken up so many times and its exhausting apologizing everytime and him wanting to "win" every argument. He was Angry i post my pictures,angry i use Instagram and facebook. 😢
Protect your peace
Please never look back. I promise the other side is amazing once you really push through babes ❤ I learned my narcs behaviors so well when I was done.. I pushed every narc button to make him go away. I became his worst nightmare 😂guess what he still tries to contact. Let his ass live his version of his best life.
They dark matter alright! Ha!
Lee I NEVER let my soon to be ex narc catch me listening to your videos! You kept me one step ahead!
“Let me buy you a drank!”
"I would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for your meddling growth!" I love this!!!😂😂😂😂😂
Mine loved seeing all his exes broken and depleted so I bossed up and lived better ❤ I am grateful he was in my life.. as sick as it sounds he pushed to better. Unfortunately when I started accomplishing more he took all credit 😂😂😂😂😂😂
😆
I use to hear this all the time by my narcissistic family and narcissistic siblings. Thank you for pointing this out and explaining it ❤❤❤-Xclusyph Icon
Yep, i'm not that naive scared little girl I was 15 years ago. He sees, it's alot better, but still aggravating. He knows something is wrong with him, but he's still a narcissist. Prayers are powerful. Right now I'm trying to heal, I have multiple fractures of the spine and was diagnosed with osteoporosis so he still uses this over me knowing I can't work at the moment which is torture for me. It's in God's timing🙏
Do it again! Do it again!!!!!! 😂😂😂
😆
snap your fingers and do your step. Everything you own is in the box. Boy bye.
😂
When I got my new job, my ex said, not that I forgot about him. When I said in September I would have a lot to do, he said: would I have time for him? I said of course!
Then he broke up with me in June because he had no time for a relationship.
Lee, tysm for doing these videos. They have helped me so much in understanding what im going through and watching you be so passionate about us healing - it really did help anchor me to stay no contact. Ty Lee. I am grateful for your humor and your honesty to help me through this. ❤🙏
🙌🏾
GO LEE SETTING US FREE!!!!!!!
💪
“I know it sounds messed up,but i liked it better in the beginning when you just agreed with everything i said”
In.Sane.
When he said that to me, I asked him what he meant by that and he couldn't/ wouldn't answer the question.
🫣
Good Afternoon Lee & Family💜🤍🌟⭐️💫🌈
👋
what is the best way to get a narcissist behind bars? they are treatening me i need help ...
Document everything and be safe
I had to laugh at your antics showing the antenna. It reminded me of a snail’s antenna. How you touch them and they instantly withdraw.
I sometimes think what you really are is a Good Narcissist. I used to tell my N ex brother that he was so talented he should put it to good and not evil. Unfortunately it only enraged him because he can’t except criticism or disobedience.
The abuse only became more HORRIFIC AND DEADLY. No-one would believe the destruction he perpetrated, still is..His main target?? ME. Kill, Steal and Destroy is what he said and he did it. Those words are from the Bible which says “the enemy( satan) only comes to kill, steal and destroy “ but Jesus says “I have come to give you life and life more abundantly. Jesus said “I have come to set the captives free “
My friend doesn’t like me anymore because I’ve been setting boundaries.
Sitting for this!!
💪
I miss the old him when he made me feel amazing. Now I feel sad betrayed alone depressed triggered I'm worse off
He used to always say he wished our relationship was like his cousin's. His cousin's wife lets his cousin cheat. She's the type of person to say, "Well, he comes home to ME every night." He looks at her like a doormat, too.
I tell my husband often I miss thee person I fell for Not this person i ended up with. No one has ever said they miss who I was. 0nly that you were so much nicer {SUBMISSIVE}in the beginning. No, I was authentic in love and tainted overtime by toxicity.
Good afternoon everyone 👋 they think they are your Dad no sir u not 🚫🚫 they try play your Dad 🎯🎯😣😣🤦🛑🛑cut bs ✂️✂️
They miss the old you that they could manipulate and control at all times. Also some take advantage of you because they know you are naïve and slow. Now that the access to you has been revoked, they try their VERY BEST to destroy you. Please stay away from these kinds of people and the other day I read somewhere that a narcissist doesn't have to touch or see you to kill you. SAVE YOURSELVES!!!
‼️‼️‼️
I answering, I am still me. Is that a right answer? Its comes out of my inside. So he realize that i know and see him. He said, I hate to get loose. I answering, you feel loosing becide me? No answer. Thank you Mister Lee
I’m like a little “empathetic starfish” 😂😂😂😂. This!!!
My ex covert said it few weeks before our first break up.
Interesting because my ex marc told me “ She was growing as a person & Im not “ When all i said was i miss when you were empathetic
Ok T-Pain lol😂
Good Idea. I'm in😊
They will say u not the woman I married.
‼️‼️
And I missed the person in the beginning. AND: No the control is over... I always hated it to be controlled (my mother also was such a control freak - it was very embarrissing when I was a teenager - and sorry I lied a lot to her - that all were emergency lies)... No control, no demands, no tyranny - I am finished with that and such people. (Okay my mother is still alive but she doesn´t live in my neighbourhood and she takes pills for her illness now).
Be safe and keep your boundaries
@@MentalHealness I will you can be sure about that. Thank you for your concern.
4:03 😂😂😂
😂
Facts
🤦🤦
😫
Webworms...😂
😂
Is him saying what happened to you the same thing?
Yes, if he's saying it as a put down. If he's a narcissist, they say this toake you feel guilty and forgive them and go back to being blind. They want you to feel like it's your fault that the relationship is falling apart. They'll also say "I've fallen out of love with you", "I fell in love with who you used to be". All that, you'll hear.
Do u have Acid Reflux just saying 😮
🖤🤎
I literally got in trouble and yelled at by her when your video shorts popped up randomly 🫣. She heard you say the word narcissist and lost her shit.
I was so confused 😵💫. That’s when my suspicions were confirmed .
😂
You can do it all by yourself! 🫰🏽
You don’t need nobody else 🫰🏽