9 Ways to Tell if Someone is a Narcissist - Matthew Kelly
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- Опубликовано: 13 апр 2023
- 9 Ways to Tell if Someone is a Narcissist - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The term Narcissist is definitely overused in society today. If someone doesn’t like another person or get their way, they are quick to say, “He is such a Narcissist!” or “She is such a Narcissist!” At the same time, it does seem that the self-referential nature of our culture lends itself to more and more Narcissistic behavior, and that the number of Narcissists is increasing in society.
We all have Narcistic tendencies, but that’s different to being a Narcissist. So how do you know if someone is a certifiable Narcissist - that is someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) - or just immature, self-absorbed, or selfish?
Experts seem to agree that as many as one-third of the population are Narcissists, but it is quite rare for someone to be officially diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The Diagnostic Manual for Mental Disorders (5th Edition) states that in order for a person to be diagnosed with NPD, that person must exhibit five or more of these nine criteria, and at least one aspect of their life must be impaired by these behaviors. The nine criteria are:
1. Exaggerates own importance
2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence or ideal romance
3. Believes he or she is special and can only be understood by other special people or institutions
4. Requires constant attention and admiration from others
5. Has unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment
6. Takes advantage of others to reach his or her own goals
7. Disregards the feelings of others, lacks empathy
8. Is often envious of others or believes other people are envious of him or her
9. Shows arrogant behaviors and attitudes
If you are being abused at the hands of a Narcissist, recovering from the abuse of a Narcissist, or someone you love is in one of these situations a great place to start is by taking inventory of the nine criteria above.
I would encourage you to do it on two levels. First, just yes or no, answer from the gut, “Does he exaggerates his own importance?” Yes or no. Don’t over think it. “Is she preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence or ideal romance?” Yes or no. Work your way through the list and see how many of the criteria your Narcissist displays. Remember, someone can be a Narcissist and not technically have NPD. So just because your Narcissist only displays three of the criteria doesn’t mean he or she is not a Narcissist.
Next, go back through the list of nine criteria and identify specific examples of where you personally witnessed that behavior and write them down. Don’t make excuses for the Narcissist in your life. It’s amazing how many excuses we make for Narcissists. Earlier I used the word abuse. How did you respond when you heard that word? It’s amazing how often people will say, “Well, it’s not really abuse.” That’s why Narcissist’s get away with all they get away with for so long, because we downplay it, pretend it isn’t serious, and make excuses for them. We say things like, “She had a really tough childhood.” So? A lot of people have tough childhoods and don’t grow up to take it out on others by abusing them verbally, emotionally, psychologically, or physically.
Narcissism is real. We all have at least one Narcissist in our lives, and it is past time that we started to understand what drives them and how they are impacting our emotional health and our lives in general.”
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I find narcissists and passive/aggressives are the most demanding and difficult personality types to live with and deal with. They demand ownership of others and others end up enabling them by accommodating those demands, usually to keep peace or simply out of habit.
The more we know about ourselves, the better we can recognize it in others. That leads us, hopefully, to choose better spouses, better friends and better forgiveness....of them and ourselves. Always so much better, though, with 20/20 vision!!
Thank you, Mr. Kelly! Love the intro, she is a natural!!! St. Joseph, terror of demons and patron saint of families, pray for us. Amen
i think it would be good if we did this checklist for ourselves first before pointing the finger at others.
Indeed, but we do this from conscience
I too, have a crucifix collection. Mine is from our travels and is much smaller than yours. You can almost tell where they are from just by looking at them as I try to select ones with geographical or cultural significance.
Thank you Matthew 🌷🌷🌷
Thank you for the information. God bless.
All Praise and Glory to The Father and The Son and The Holy Ghost 🙏 Viva Cristo Rey
This IS my exdaughter in law. And I pray for her but my grandsons and my son are her victims. I am heart broken that the web she weaves is so abusive😓
Mine too- she has caused havoc in my family but she thinks we're the bad people. It is a crazy world to get sucked into.
Yes, it is a nightmare of a world! This describes my sister in law who is not only a narcissist but also an alcoholic who will not seek help for either disease. We have tried to get along with her and have tried to forgive and start over a million times. But she doesn’t think she has done anything wrong so nothing ever changes! This has been going on for 30 years! My brother just enables her behavior. I wish we had realized all those years ago that this was a form of abuse. 😢
@@froggalb1000 The not seeing that what they do is wrong, is a big red flag. I"m sorry this is happening and has been happening for so long. St. Joseph, patron saint of families. Pray for this family. Amen
@@created2bless322 Thank you.
💚💚💚