@@NelemNaru No‼️ Not to shoot them‼️ To protect our gun rights. But I understand if you don't get the humor. 😉 It's pretty 2nd amendment specific humor.
Sadly, I'm currently residing in New Mexico. Close to Texas, please make them stop. I loved California at one time, not the majority of it's inhabitants but the state itself. Never going back there again.
@Bryce I'm a Californian and I can honestly say that my county is majority Republican voters. I live in the Central Valley where lots of fruits, nuts, and vegetables are grown we also have dairy farms. So not all California is full commies.
I see a subject of Greater Idaho thinks themselves funny with their self depriciating potato, but they haven't mined for potatoes like we great idahoans. Now praise Idaho and remember Texans are scared to hear other people's tales of terror about Communism, thats why Idaho is the only one willing to take them all on...and the war vets...and the afghan vets...idaho is just Russia, Vietnam, and Afghanistan all rolled into one...now try to occupy/invade us.
I like the idea of the boarder wall between N.M. & Texas 2 keep Cali out, but the Nuke should be dropped on Washington D.C. 1st & 4mostest. I know some roaches will survive nuclear blast, but they will have 2 come out of hiding, & that will leave em out in the wide open, exposed, & no place hole 2 run down n2, except where nuke went boom, & then drop little boy 2 the redux
@@knightatthecrossroads222 that's because they changed their economy from a planned socialist market to a for profit market, and use slave labor, and treat the employees that are paid pretty horrible, feel free to reference the suicide net used to catch chinese factory workers trying to commit suicide
@@knightatthecrossroads222 it does when trying to prove communism works. If a communist economy worked, then why did China need to change the economy to a capitalist based approach. So their success is not derived from communism.
When we're checking fresh road kill we just ran over. BBQ. When we noticed the small car in front of us is gone. When we run over a speed bump on a dirt road. When we see the people in the street running away from our car.
@@gavinwhitford5145 if you ask why anyone needs a gun, you do not live in reality or have an understanding of human nature especially as it pertains to government and history.
@@gavinwhitford5145 translation: because we live in a world where totalitarian leaders want to disarm their citizens, so they can become even more totalitarian. The fact that people support taking away our rights (including the 2nd amendment) is exactly the reason we need the 2nd amendment.
@@gavinwhitford5145 Maybe when there are no criminals out there to rob us n rape/ kidnap our daughters and there are no communists or bad guys to kill us and we live in a Utopia Peace loving world, we don't need protection!!..
The commies in California don’t hate it and aren’t leaving. It’s the conservatives. Also Mexico is more communist than California., their idol Frida Khalo was a true commie.
As a born Venezuelan, I found this hilarious! Became a US Citizen in 2019 (happiest day of my life by the way - I’m finally free), and I am honestly afraid I will have to live through communism again 😢
It's unfortunate that the media pushes the stories of people like you away, they instead fill it with more propaganda about how socialism is good... If they listened to your story and the many others like yours (And history itself) they'd realize socialism doesn't work and to stop trying...
@ragin Caucasian California is filled with Californians, now Cali people weren't like this before cause I know history and made my homework, i tell you what happened, Marxists happened, the so called refugees brought from francfurt in 1943, the Marxist activists that became teachers in the UCLA it took them a while but they planted the seed of destruction we are witnessing today I'm afraid.
"Californians seem to be the only Communists that haven't learned their lesson." "Why do we need guns? Because we live in a world filled with people who ask that question." True story bro....
@@K9amilo90 In Europe it's unheard of for people to be able to protect themselves. We rely on the government for that, good thing governments never attack other countries or their own people. Still haven't learned from history have you. You're welcome for the help in WW2 and the Cold war anyway....
@@zacharyramsli8002 chill man, I was messing with you. Anyway, I wouldn't involve WWII into the issue of gun control, as its impact seems to be miniscule compared to what really ignited the conflict - wicked ideology
I want to feel offended as a texan who lives next to the incomplete wall, has a stockpile of ammo, and currently smoking 3 briskets... But he ain't wrong
@@smeagolbeagle2316 Its a pretty small town, not sure about retirement even though most small towns in texas are usually either really cultish or friendly. Its a better idea to just hang out there before moving if you arent familiar. Ive only driven through so i have no clue about anytgung soecific
@@bideni408 yes, most states you can buy and sell ammo with no regulations. But it's usually a bad investment because once you sell it, you'll likely be buying more at the inflated price you sold for down the line.
@ragin Caucasian except ammo is a consumable. Not to mention the trump years ammo price crash were an unusual occurrence. Remove that blip, and ammo never hits previous lows, so when you buy low, you're buying at the new inflated low, all while you're still consuming it yourself.
This is honestly the most American truth I've seen in a long long time. Everything he said rings with truth. I wish every state had a bit of texas in them. I'm from NC, and I know a few of us have a texans mentality. It's called being American. Stay safe out there.
@@chrisg7571 If you took out the big blue cities in those two states, they’d be red. The states themselves are full of conservatives. Just so you know lol (I’m from upstate NY, and trust me, there ain’t enough “progressives” out here to change a light bulb.)
My (fairly well to do) friend has cash and gold and a couple of guns...says that when things really start to go south that his cash & gold will get him & his family thru it all. Truth is: water and food, or the the lack-there-of will turn good people in to your worst nightmare, rendering your cash and gold useless.
I wish the world thought this way I'm in UK and follow your politics as it's like a never ending comedy Biden( come on man moron) and the BAD/GOOD guy TRUMP(what a fucking star up there with Thatcher and Reagan)
You know whats funny? The last person to say "Guns? What for?" Was FIDEL CASTRO. So yes. We really do live in a world where the most dangerous people are the people who ask "what do we need guns for?"
I know people in other States are gonna look at this as a funny satire video, but us Texans are just nodding along with this accurate informational video.
"If there's anything less than 1 pound of meat on your plate at any given time, then technically what's on your plate is only vegetables." As a keto dieter, I support this message.
@@ArtisticGym There are hundreds of places where you can send the file and get the shirt. "Big Frog" is in the United States everywhere and I approve of their work, as they messed up a shirt once and fixed it.
It's the same way here in the Appalachian mountains of NC where I'm from. Once upon a time, the town of Boone was a quiet conservative town. Now it's overrun with college students and seasonal residents that aren't locals. The areas of Watauga county outside of Boone are still mostly conservative but Boone is straight up liberal now. What pisses all of us locals off is that these college students that aren't locals can vote in local elections that effect us but then once they graduate from college, most of them move back to their hometown so the changes in our county that are made by their votes don't even effect them in the long run!
I’m a Texan born and bred, currently living in Tennessee, but they say you can take the girl out of Texas, but you can’t take Texas out of the girl. So true. I’ll be a rebel till the day I die.
I want to move to eastern TN from Houston. I'm SICK of hearing Spanish everywhere and dealing with the heat. The demographics up there are much more desirable.
I found your channel yesterday... I havent been able to stop watching.. Finally a breath of fresh air.. Truth is always the best comedy.. and sad at the same time,,, that our country has gotten to this point.. Keep up the great work.. God bless..
Let's put this into perspective... In Washington the dummycrats are our enemy and maybe Austin, meaning Governor Abbott, and the Republican state legislature might be our enemies. But to quote an old Arab saying, "The enemy of my enemy is my friend." Therefore, until Biden is elected out, Austin will be our friends... For now, unless Abbott should somehow flake out. 😬
That’s kind of true with the police too & I told some officers that. I said police are like tough guys that aren’t my friends, but I support and respect them because they are fighting against worst bad guys. They are a necessary evil
A couple of the most Texan dudes I know are Korean and Mexican. As long as you don't have time for bullsh!t and you won't hinder someone else's freedom; You're welcome in Texas! A friendly smile and a wave is customary, but not required. It tells the stranger "I see you, am not afraid, and you shouldn't be either." It is the ones that don't wave back that need to worry.
I am a real Texan going back well before the civil war and I approve this message minus the sarcasm. I would love to move 99% of California back. JP can stay though.
@@KAT-dg6el Same in Virginia…..many from the North like NY, PA, Md have been moving here for 20+ years (cost of living cheaper and salaries similar). Turned the state blue, although still mostly due to a few counties.
"Some Americans fear we're in the process of having a tyrannical government taking over our country...but as a Texan, i hope we are: it's what we've been training for..."
The difference between Texas and the blue states. Texans will see this and laugh and say "yep, I know someone like that". The people in the blue states would get major offended.
Born and raised Texas. If Everywhere was more Texas the world would be a better place. Mainly because everyone would leave everyone else to do their own thing without making anyone else having to deal with it...
@@claribethdavis9614 uhhh no. Austin, Houston and Dallas maybe. Rural Texas fought it. Ive yet to wrar a mask. My county leaders said they would not enforce any mandates. We had a few stores that required masks for a few weeks. Guess what? They are all out of business now. Except for one... Marshals. And they arent doing too well. You hear your news from the chirping bullshit news media. Way different on the ground. Rural Texas aint big city Texas. You dont know your ass from a hole in the ground. Bless your heart.
Actually he said "Texas Aggies" as in officers graduated from the Corps of Cadets at TAMU with a bachelors degree. Not regular Texans because obviously that is dumb.
FYI to other viewers--in TX, the inhabitans fight wars over land called range wars. When a barn owner's land doesn't get enough water, they get in a war w/the other barn. The barn owner starting the war shoots at the other barn, and then the other barn owner returns fire w/its Remington 12-gauge. The shooting continues until either barn owner is killed or the offending barn owner surrenders its female offspring to the other owner for breeding.
It's really a good idea though. Every one of those gun types he mentioned is very useful but I wish he mentioned the 22LR. I still give him an A+ on the video.
You'll be disappointed if you judge your visit based on the big cities. Go to Texas and immediately get out of the metropolitan areas and visit the suburbs and rural towns to discover the real Texas.
Or FL and TN. Very free places. I lived in Florida for 20 years and we're visiting Tennessee soon. I now live in Pennsylvania and hate it. Even though I'm from PA I'm so ready to leave again and I just got here 😩
As a Texan: I'm proud when conservative Californians move here to keep the spirit alive. If you're liberal, please stay out, honestly you'll hate it anyways.
I wish I could move to Texas, a native born CA guy here who feels he is surrounded by delusional people with the mental capacity of a child. But my family business is here, so I’ll keep fighting from behind enemy lines. Let’s get grewsome newsome OUT come august.
@@Triggernlfrl here sir let me give you the pre Texan test- 1. Do you believe there are more than 2 genders? 2. Do you think illegals have a right to come in freely? 3. Do you think the 1st and 2nd Amendments need to be changed in any way? If you answered NO to all 3 Welcome to Texas!!! Wanna come over for a BBQ? If you answered YES to any of the questions please try hang gliding into a volcano.
Love this man's satire, and watch him often. If you want to be relevant on RUclips you need to cross dress, and he has accomplished that in other videos. He is just confirming to their standards to not be censored.
The problems became serious when the north abandoned their “State first” mentality and became “Union first”. Then forced it on the south when they saw an opportunity after the Civil War.
Did you know, it's easier to come back from a Nuclear strike, than to come back from Democratic rule? Just look at Hiroshima then look at Detroit. Or Baltimore. Or Chicago.
Easy now! Some of us from California are die hard conservatives and no matter how hard we voted we could not overcome the Democrat election fraud machine!
“Conceal and carry is where it’s at. I mean the only reason why you wanna wear a gun in your holster, is so your concealed gun has something to hide under” fucking dead 🤣🤣🤣
How did you get to be an 8th-generation native Texan since I'm a 4th-generation Texan, for my paternal great grandmother was born in Washington County in 1841.
Texas is not just a state
It's a state of mind
Except Austin. The Tumour of Texas
And Huston is quickly becoming a shit hole.
@@drunkenskeptic6633 absolutely right!
@@drunkenskeptic6633 Becoming?? It’s “become”, and it sucks.
The whole state is a shithole
"If Americans loved America like Texans love Texas, America would be a better place" - Davy Crockett, probably
😂😂😂
@Tiffany Ledour
HELL YEAH DUDE!
*Violin intensifies*
"Why can't Texans defend Texas?" ~Kentucky and Tennessee. More than likely.
Dios Bendiga Tejas
ruclips.net/video/mbH60wCO-Yw/видео.html
The actual quote is " You can go to help but, I am going to Texad! "
“Except Californians…They’re the only kinda Communists that seem like they haven’t learned their lesson.” I’M DED 😂😂😂😂
Yeah that was a great one
True.
best way I've ever heard it described.
The very best comedy contains some truth.
Dido, could not stop laughing, it just too true!
“Why do we need guns?” Cause we live in a world filled with people who ask that question.” Your best line to date. Bravo.
Yep, this is possibly the best line ever from anybody ever on RUclips, nice one JP.
the Q in BBQ was a beaut too.
I have tears in my eyes from laughing at that line. 😂🤣😂
I'm honestly having trouble "getting" it. If someone asks, "Why do we need guns?", then do you need a gun to shoot them?
@@NelemNaru No‼️ Not to shoot them‼️ To protect our gun rights. But I understand if you don't get the humor. 😉 It's pretty 2nd amendment specific humor.
"I dont care about a wall at Mexico, we need a wall at New Mexico. To solve our California immigration problem" Lmfao
Sadly, I'm currently residing in New Mexico. Close to Texas, please make them stop. I loved California at one time, not the majority of it's inhabitants but the state itself. Never going back there again.
So true!
Ok we'll build the wall at Arizona/New Mexico border.
I am from Arizona, we don’t want the California’s either. Build the wall on the San Andreas Fault & create the long awaited earthquake. Buy, buy 👋🏻
@Bryce I'm a Californian and I can honestly say that my county is majority Republican voters. I live in the Central Valley where lots of fruits, nuts, and vegetables are grown we also have dairy farms. So not all California is full commies.
Weird, I didnt know JP did skits that are NOT Satire. He's spittin facts here.
all his skits are spittin facts
He’s a good egg!
@@Rid-iculo-us naw sometimes they satire
Yeah I guess he decided to make a serious post just to switch it up a bit
Ft. Hood Texas represent ! Texas is amazing...lets make sure dirty commies don’t come to our state and ruin it
This was the best one so far JP. I used to be a conservative Californian until I fled to higher ground. God Bless Texas, truly great people!
Agreed, instant classic. Fucking internet gold!!
Texas: the only state alpha enough to laugh at itself.
Texas is the Australia of the united States.
Yep. I even live in Austin and found this video hilarious.
Apart from the U.K. 🇬🇧
we invented that shit bro
You bois are a lap behind 😉
I see a subject of Greater Idaho thinks themselves funny with their self depriciating potato, but they haven't mined for potatoes like we great idahoans. Now praise Idaho and remember Texans are scared to hear other people's tales of terror about Communism, thats why Idaho is the only one willing to take them all on...and the war vets...and the afghan vets...idaho is just Russia, Vietnam, and Afghanistan all rolled into one...now try to occupy/invade us.
I like the idea of the boarder wall between N.M. & Texas 2 keep Cali out, but the Nuke should be dropped on Washington D.C. 1st & 4mostest. I know some roaches will survive nuclear blast, but they will have 2 come out of hiding, & that will leave em out in the wide open, exposed, & no place hole 2 run down n2, except where nuke went boom, & then drop little boy 2 the redux
"Austin is the tampon of Texas, just this soft flimsy thing in a sea of red".........that is such a GREAT line!
As an Austin resident, I respect that.
A huge laugh out loud, which is both horrible and true. Love you JP.
Great line, but ignores the existence of Houston, Dallas, and San Antonio...
So money
Sadly I’m seeing more and more California license plates in Houston. I give them the gtfo stare lol
"Why do we need guns? Because we live in a world filled with people that ask that question."
It sounds like a joke, but it reads like the truth.
JP spitting truth once again.
Because "please stop" never seems to work with bullies.
That is the truist truism ever uttered inre the 2A.
That was my favorite line! LOL
“They’re the only kind of communist that seems they haven’t learned their lesson” lol. You really nailed the body language, too.
The Chinese are quite successful communists....are they not?
@@knightatthecrossroads222 that's because they changed their economy from a planned socialist market to a for profit market, and use slave labor, and treat the employees that are paid pretty horrible, feel free to reference the suicide net used to catch chinese factory workers trying to commit suicide
@@cav9270 but it doesn't change the outcome.
@@knightatthecrossroads222 it does when trying to prove communism works. If a communist economy worked, then why did China need to change the economy to a capitalist based approach. So their success is not derived from communism.
@@knightatthecrossroads222 But it does prove you wrong. If they were _successful_ communists, they wouldn't have had to switch to capitalism.
We only bend the knee on 2 occasions in Texas: When we're proposing or praying.
When we're checking fresh road kill we just ran over. BBQ. When we noticed the small car in front of us is gone. When we run over a speed bump on a dirt road. When we see the people in the street running away from our car.
hope so. a few cities in TX are trying to pass the "digital wallet" that includes the digital ID and CBDCs
Why do we need guns? "Cause we live in a world where people ask that question!" 🤣🤣🤣❤
AMEN Brother!!;)
Good answer.
@@gavinwhitford5145 if you ask why anyone needs a gun, you do not live in reality or have an understanding of human nature especially as it pertains to government and history.
@@gavinwhitford5145 translation: because we live in a world where totalitarian leaders want to disarm their citizens, so they can become even more totalitarian. The fact that people support taking away our rights (including the 2nd amendment) is exactly the reason we need the 2nd amendment.
@@gavinwhitford5145 Maybe when there are no criminals out there to rob us n rape/ kidnap our daughters and there are no communists or bad guys to kill us and we live in a Utopia Peace loving world, we don't need protection!!..
"Why do you need guns?" "Because we live in a world where people keep asking that question." Beautiful, that is now my standard answer.
Austin is RUINING texas sadly!
Ask the Australian people? Very peaceful protest. Propaganda alert
Put it on a t-shirt 😎🤑
"Communists fleeing California haven't learned their lesson". Can't argue with you on that. 👍 😄
The commies in California don’t hate it and aren’t leaving. It’s the conservatives. Also Mexico is more communist than California., their idol Frida Khalo was a true commie.
I want to leave Commiefornia so bad.
Its sad what they did to Austin😥 can't believe Texans allowed it to get over turned like that
@Eat the socialist Brilliant!
As a born Venezuelan, I found this hilarious! Became a US Citizen in 2019 (happiest day of my life by the way - I’m finally free), and I am honestly afraid I will have to live through communism again 😢
As a Texan, that’s where our bravery comes in!
como saliste de latinoamerica?
It's unfortunate that the media pushes the stories of people like you away, they instead fill it with more propaganda about how socialism is good... If they listened to your story and the many others like yours (And history itself) they'd realize socialism doesn't work and to stop trying...
Welcome! And I hope we all stay free.
@ragin Caucasian California is filled with Californians, now Cali people weren't like this before cause I know history and made my homework, i tell you what happened, Marxists happened, the so called refugees brought from francfurt in 1943, the Marxist activists that became teachers in the UCLA it took them a while but they planted the seed of destruction we are witnessing today I'm afraid.
"Californians seem to be the only Communists that haven't learned their lesson."
"Why do we need guns? Because we live in a world filled with people who ask that question."
True story bro....
The fornians have no clue about nothing.
They come here and then their wives find real men.
@@ckdd8891 I need a real Texas man 😆🤣
In Europe it is unheard of to possess a gun. U Apaches must be oversensitive when it comes to safety
@@K9amilo90 In Europe it's unheard of for people to be able to protect themselves. We rely on the government for that, good thing governments never attack other countries or their own people. Still haven't learned from history have you. You're welcome for the help in WW2 and the Cold war anyway....
@@zacharyramsli8002 chill man, I was messing with you. Anyway, I wouldn't involve WWII into the issue of gun control, as its impact seems to be miniscule compared to what really ignited the conflict - wicked ideology
*Why do we need guns? Bc we live in a world where people ask that question.*
💯
Precisely.
I want to feel offended as a texan who lives next to the incomplete wall, has a stockpile of ammo, and currently smoking 3 briskets... But he ain't wrong
Hey bo can I have some brisket we can shoot some clays n tanerite
😂 We can’t hide from the truth ... and 3 briskets at once? You, sir, know how to party 👍
Preach! ❤️💪
@@j.m.8193 It's for my son's 5th birthday tomorrow. Party hard or don't party at all.
You're too texan to get offended I suppose.
No Texan is like all these things, but all Texans are like at least one of these things... -Proud Native Texan
Smoking Brisket every chance i get, smoked beef is all one needs.
True!
Is Spring Hill, TX a decent place to retire to? Asking for a mother... ;)
@@smeagolbeagle2316 Its a pretty small town, not sure about retirement even though most small towns in texas are usually either really cultish or friendly. Its a better idea to just hang out there before moving if you arent familiar. Ive only driven through so i have no clue about anytgung soecific
@@rodstewart9218 Thank you, will do! :)
If God didn't want use to have guns, why did he give us a trigger finger?
And a hip!!;)😊❤🤘
Amen 🙏
Checkmate, communists!
@@tbeijersbergen don’t leave out shoulders for carrying and steadying a rifle. The only gun control I support involves good aim and a steady hand.
@@stuckgrenadepin.225 Right On Brother!!;) :)👍🤘
Ammo - 2020's precious metals.
Forget the ring, I want engagement rounds.
I diversify with 9mm and 45🤣🤣🤣🤣
@delta229 I have always held the .40S&W as the superior choice.
@delta229 They arent true .45ACP disciples, the true reload their own.
usually up to p++++ or until the case or breech explodes, naturally.
Lol! Perfect!!!
One small point of contention. Texas women also have hips to facilitate birthing new Texans.
Wait for JP's new line of Birthing Holsters!
Yay \^.^/
@@NathanSmutz Well, gauraunty one thing they will not birthin a bunch woke as lost whatevers.......
Indeed. Often they have enough hip to lend some to the neighboring states.
And the baby’s are born with guns😂
“You can’t load Bitcoin into your 9mm”
You ain’t wrong. 9mm has been doing better than Dogecoin lately
Damn I can't wait to get back to the block range.
Im not american, its possible to invest in a ammo?
Dogecoin is stable 0,20ct per Doge
@@bideni408 yes, most states you can buy and sell ammo with no regulations. But it's usually a bad investment because once you sell it, you'll likely be buying more at the inflated price you sold for down the line.
@ragin Caucasian except ammo is a consumable. Not to mention the trump years ammo price crash were an unusual occurrence. Remove that blip, and ammo never hits previous lows, so when you buy low, you're buying at the new inflated low, all while you're still consuming it yourself.
"Austin is basically the tampon of Texas" - i spit out my drink - Honestly your best line ever
texas doesn’t have pronouns. and it’s 2021. men use tampons now. stop assuming things.
I KNOW you aren't ASSUMING TEXAS' GENDER!
@@user-oz5xb9ed3w So terribly and sadly true. The years of demasculating men has successfully produced a majority of femen, but a few men are left.
@Potato She's beautiful. Especially in Feb 2021. (I live in Plano, TX.)
@@VodkaTheAntiAlcoholic Yes, yes she is! Plano here as well. #TexanAF
“It’s what we’ve been training for” FACTS
This is honestly the most American truth I've seen in a long long time. Everything he said rings with truth. I wish every state had a bit of texas in them. I'm from NC, and I know a few of us have a texans mentality. It's called being American. Stay safe out there.
Me too! :)
Here in NC we need a wall on our northern boarder to keep the NYers/NJites at bay.
Too many people ''From away'' moving into NC, turning it blue. Sad truth.
@@chrisg7571 If you took out the big blue cities in those two states, they’d be red. The states themselves are full of conservatives. Just so you know lol (I’m from upstate NY, and trust me, there ain’t enough “progressives” out here to change a light bulb.)
They're several southern states who have this mentality. Why I love the South!
As a Texan, this is incredibly accurate!!! Especially the Austin and NM portions.
I loved this JP! Thank you🇺🇸
he's not even Texan...he's from Ohio.
Why do we need guns because we live in a world full of people who ask that question! 🤣🤣🤣
Definitely my favorite line…followed by anything less than a pound of meat qualifies as vegetables
As my Dad always says "When the world falls apart, lead will be more valuable than gold."
Reminds a bit of Roland the Gunslinger that said: We deal in lead.
Hahahayahahehehe
5.56 and 9mm are the next currency
Smart dad.
My (fairly well to do) friend has cash and gold and a couple of guns...says that when things really start to go south that his cash & gold will get him & his family thru it all.
Truth is: water and food, or the the lack-there-of will turn good people in to your worst nightmare, rendering your cash and gold useless.
I wish all of America thought this way. We'd be so strong and rich and literally everyone here would be better off.
I wish the world thought this way I'm in UK and follow your politics as it's like a never ending comedy Biden( come on man moron) and the BAD/GOOD guy TRUMP(what a fucking star up there with Thatcher and Reagan)
And China wouldn’t be walking all over the U.S. because they’d get stomped by a size 12 Texas boot in their ars.
@@ohiou_2kbobcat494 size 15 at least, things are bigger in Texas :)
Especially the barbecue part! Why is it so hard to find good barbecue restaurants?🤪
Laughed so hard I spit out my bbq and shot a hole in my ceiling.
You pick that bbq up right now
BEST comment yet! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Dropping your BBQ on the ground in Texas... = blasphemy?
🤣🤣🤣🎯
Ha ha ha!!❤
I live in Northern Commiefornia and I approve of his message.
You know whats funny? The last person to say "Guns? What for?" Was FIDEL CASTRO. So yes. We really do live in a world where the most dangerous people are the people who ask "what do we need guns for?"
You might want to do a little research on who put Fidel Castro into place. Here’s a little clue, a country north of Cuba.
Especially ironic since he was a revolutionary who violently overthrew the government.
@@latsnojokelee6434 huh... weird... Google says you're wrong.
@@danemiller4852 The last place to look (if ever) for 'facts' is Google. Or were you being sarcastic and I missed it?
@@MrTommy001 it was sarcasm. I assume this dude uses Google for all their facts. So I was using it against them. Lol
“It’s what we’ve been training for.” 🤣🤣🤣 Funny. And Not wrong.
Good man
So true
Where are all the gorgeous, conservative girls like you hiding at?
@@WhiteWolfeHU I’m libertarian.
@@haileyunger5020 lmao, did someone just hit on you based on your youtube profile pic?!? I've had enough internet for one day I think.
"In Texas we know the government is our enemy, and it's job it to protect us from bigger enemies" lol that's my favorite line
I know people in other States are gonna look at this as a funny satire video, but us Texans are just nodding along with this accurate informational video.
And we Texans are proud of it!!! 😊
So true 🤣💯👌🏼
100%. YUP. Y'ALL just keep on laughing. We are stockpiling ammo.....
JP is making fun of the way his fellow texans think, but he knows he actually agrees with 99% of them 🤣
Ain't it funny how truth can be funny?
@@Exxeron-ob3tv Lately, all it does is make me cry, so I have to come here.
man up.
And that is the beauty of it. You can agree with people and still make fun of them. I am pretty sure they would laugh along with him.
Except for the 1% that live in Austin...🤣
The fact that Austin is the tampon of Texas just... i can't. LOLOLOL
"If there's anything less than 1 pound of meat on your plate at any given time, then technically what's on your plate is only vegetables." As a keto dieter, I support this message.
Same. I do keep a little fresh spinach and other fiber like almonds, walnuts, and berries to keep things flowing.
As a Texan, can confirm.
Please be environmentally responsible: Pick up your expended brass casings and reload your own ammo!
"Why do we need guns, because we live in a world where people ask that question." That was great 😂😂
Amen.
That’s what Fidel Castro asked once “Guns for what”? When a leader asks that question run the other way..
I need this on a shirt
@@ArtisticGym There are hundreds of places where you can send the file and get the shirt. "Big Frog" is in the United States everywhere and I approve of their work, as they messed up a shirt once and fixed it.
When you move to a better state like TX or TN, leave it the way you found it!
@JDDK28 So true.. they are killing us in Tennessee, and he's right, they haven't learned their lesson!
@Inverse Reality Clown World Amen. Your governor is awesome.
@@Jane-West yeah. It’s a mixed bag. Some do, some don’t. Need to educate the people who relocate.
It's the same way here in the Appalachian mountains of NC where I'm from. Once upon a time, the town of Boone was a quiet conservative town. Now it's overrun with college students and seasonal residents that aren't locals. The areas of Watauga county outside of Boone are still mostly conservative but Boone is straight up liberal now. What pisses all of us locals off is that these college students that aren't locals can vote in local elections that effect us but then once they graduate from college, most of them move back to their hometown so the changes in our county that are made by their votes don't even effect them in the long run!
We left Atlanta to relocate to TN. Best move I could have made. So much nicer here!
It's like he's lived here his whole life.
- A Texan
I'm surprised you didn't say "the only pronouns we have are 1. y'all, and 2. all y'all"😂😂
I was "fixin" to say the same thing. lol
😂
Yep!
Bless your heart, youre fang tootin'. Good point.
Thought the same thing 😂😂
I’m a Texan born and bred, currently living in Tennessee, but they say you can take the girl out of Texas, but you can’t take Texas out of the girl. So true. I’ll be a rebel till the day I die.
I want to move to eastern TN from Houston. I'm SICK of hearing Spanish everywhere and dealing with the heat. The demographics up there are much more desirable.
And that's why we're not leaving the state until the children are grown! After that, I got business to take care of with my out of state relatives.
Your ex's must live in Texas
As a registered Texan, I can confirm every word of this.
I second that! He's spot on.
We have a quorum.
@@duststorm7287 that word is a bit out of favor here right now.
HUA!
Yep! And like he said we where born ready for a fight, so if Biden wants to Nuke bring it
"Do it for Texas!" I think that is a great motivation quote for us Texans.
“Especially Californians. They’re the only communists that haven’t learned their lesson.” 🤣🤣🤣
LMAO at that 🤣
“Once you get meat sweats, you’re half way there” 😂😂🤣
you're*
@@power2084 Troll. 😂
@@jkschulte3448 uneducated.
@@power2084 we don't need sarcastic remarks, thanks
@@wheels636 it wasn't sarcastic but factual. Do you even know the meaning of sarcastic ??
“Austin is the tampon of Texas.” I couldn’t stop laughing at that one.
Lol, its true
Meeee toooo
Just a soft white thing surrounded by red
That was golden 🤣😂
I always thought Austin was the anus of Texas because there is so much crap coming out of that place.
I found your channel yesterday... I havent been able to stop watching.. Finally a breath of fresh air.. Truth is always the best comedy.. and sad at the same time,,, that our country has gotten to this point.. Keep up the great work.. God bless..
I was two minutes in before realizing he meant this as satire. He's speaking more truth than jokes. Texas Forever.
"As a Texan, I know the government is my enemy. And its only purpose is to protect us from bigger enemies.
" Golden.
That was truth right there.
Let's put this into perspective... In Washington the dummycrats are our enemy and maybe Austin, meaning Governor Abbott, and the Republican state legislature might be our enemies.
But to quote an old Arab saying, "The enemy of my enemy is my friend." Therefore, until Biden is elected out, Austin will be our friends... For now, unless Abbott should somehow flake out. 😬
That’s kind of true with the police too & I told some officers that.
I said police are like tough guys that aren’t my friends, but I support and respect them because they are fighting against worst bad guys. They are a necessary evil
I have never been to the Southwest, but I dentify as Texan.
As a Scandinavian who's never been to the States, I still identify as 50% Texan (and 100% Viking)
Trans Texans are real Texans. Don't be a bigot.
Texas has bumper stickers that say "I'm not a Native Texan, but I got here as soon as I could." just for cases like this. ❤️🤍💙
A couple of the most Texan dudes I know are Korean and Mexican. As long as you don't have time for bullsh!t and you won't hinder someone else's freedom; You're welcome in Texas! A friendly smile and a wave is customary, but not required. It tells the stranger "I see you, am not afraid, and you shouldn't be either." It is the ones that don't wave back that need to worry.
@@TexZenMaster and own at least 3 guns. Or in the process of purchasing them.
"Austin is basically the tampon of Texas, soft flimsy thing in the middle of a sea of red" --- LOL!!!!!
✋🏼🤣
I am a real Texan going back well before the civil war and I approve this message minus the sarcasm. I would love to move 99% of California back. JP can stay though.
@@KAT-dg6el Same in Virginia…..many from the North like NY, PA, Md have been moving here for 20+ years (cost of living cheaper and salaries similar). Turned the state blue, although still mostly due to a few counties.
Austin, the tampon of Texas. I can never unsee that illustration.
Me either🤣🤣🤣
Haha every time I look at a map and see Austin I'll see a Tampon surrounded by a sea of red!
"Why do we need guns? Cause we live in a world where people ask that question." I'm stealing this.
Me too. Totally golden
As a Texan, you are out of line….and correct. God bless The United State of Texas! May your rounds find its target. Amen
"Some Americans fear we're in the process of having a tyrannical government taking over our country...but as a Texan, i hope we are: it's what we've been training for..."
lol
The best quote ever!! Lol 😆
@@TheJeffbarrett Bellevue, WA here, and yes those were better days - anything pre-Windows 98 when the world started moving here.
Texas usually loses every war it fights and AP Hill had gonorreah
@@bloodyhotspur2915 wow, i sense some inferiority complex here
When JP left home for Texas, he told his dad, “you’re the man of the house now”
Very, very good sir
Outstanding!
These are just old Zlatan Ibrahimovich jokes.
When Zlatan comes to your house, you are the guest.
@@HubertofLiege I thought it was a Chuck Norris joke...
hilarious comment lorric logging
As one of my foreign friendd said once:
"Texas is more Texas than America."
Yeah and cali is more Russian than American with that logic
@@todydn Not Putins new nationalist Russia,
you are thinking of the CCP
“Gun holsters are just to hide your conceal carry”😂
Love love love JP. He’s just so brilliant
The difference between Texas and the blue states. Texans will see this and laugh and say "yep, I know someone like that". The people in the blue states would get major offended.
@Tommy Barlow found the offended example.
@Tommy Barlow wow, going after a religion is very mature!
Truth
I live in Massachusetts. I'm conservative.
Maybe I'm an example of what the far left
calls 'diversity'? (HA!)
Born and raised Texas. If Everywhere was more Texas the world would be a better place. Mainly because everyone would leave everyone else to do their own thing without making anyone else having to deal with it...
Yup.
Really? You all let Abbott shut you down and mask you up and now you’re all clapping like seals because he took the mandates away…😂🤣
ok i have question
do you have high property tax
How much in % is the property tax
@@claribethdavis9614 uhhh no. Austin, Houston and Dallas maybe.
Rural Texas fought it. Ive yet to wrar a mask. My county leaders said they would not enforce any mandates. We had a few stores that required masks for a few weeks. Guess what? They are all out of business now. Except for one... Marshals. And they arent doing too well.
You hear your news from the chirping bullshit news media. Way different on the ground. Rural Texas aint big city Texas.
You dont know your ass from a hole in the ground.
Bless your heart.
“Give me an army of West Point graduates and I’ll win a battle. Give me a handful of Texans and I’ll win a war.” George S. Patton
Actually he said "Texas Aggies" as in officers graduated from the Corps of Cadets at TAMU with a bachelors degree. Not regular Texans because obviously that is dumb.
Give me a handful of Texas Aggies and I'll win a war.
He means range war.
FYI to other viewers--in TX, the inhabitans fight wars over land called range wars. When a barn owner's land doesn't get enough water, they get in a war w/the other barn. The barn owner starting the war shoots at the other barn, and then the other barn owner returns fire w/its Remington 12-gauge. The shooting continues until either barn owner is killed or the offending barn owner surrenders its female offspring to the other owner for breeding.
Can confirm, Austin native here. Can't wait to move back to Texas.
Luckily it's a pretty short move for you. 20 miles in any direction and you're good.
As a native Californian, I wish everything he said about California wasn't true. Too bad it is.
At least California has some redeeming qualities, like lots of good scenery far from the cities and the ability to leave quickly.
Larry Elder for California Governor! Spread the word everywhere, especially cali residents!
@@alexisstewart42 because of all the dead voters voting for them.
😂😂😂 you still think voting counts they rigged the presidential election do you think a state election is going to mean anything🤦♂️
I like MEET KEVIN MORE! GREAT PROGRAMS
Chad Prather
There is a Texan pronoun: "Y'all". 2nd person plural.
The plural is All You All.
It's really the only one you'll need
All o’y’all -> Second person megaplural
In north Florida it's "yawl boyz'' no matter who we're saying it to lol
As a fellow Texan, I love this and you are spot on about Austin!
Just like Atlanta should only be related to GA when giving directions to FL.
Haha that's pretty funny.
Amen!
Same with Chicago
Seems to be a theme with capital cities.
🤣🤣🤣
Lmao at “diversify your portfolio with other ammunition.”
🤣👌
It's really a good idea though. Every one of those gun types he mentioned is very useful but I wish he mentioned the 22LR. I still give him an A+ on the video.
Seriously:
As a German still living in Germany I am seriously concidering moving to Texas. It seems to be the last free place on earth.
You'll be disappointed if you judge your visit based on the big cities. Go to Texas and immediately get out of the metropolitan areas and visit the suburbs and rural towns to discover the real Texas.
Or FL and TN. Very free places. I lived in Florida for 20 years and we're visiting Tennessee soon. I now live in Pennsylvania and hate it. Even though I'm from PA I'm so ready to leave again and I just got here 😩
@@tinaf600 I grew up in PA. The Democrat machine of Philly ruins the whole state.
I'm a little green behind my ears but what should I do, so I can move to the land of the free?
@@migooknamja I see that! It's so crazy and sad.
As a Texan: I'm proud when conservative Californians move here to keep the spirit alive. If you're liberal, please stay out, honestly you'll hate it anyways.
And what if you are just human instead a red or bleu
labeled fool?
@@Triggernlfrl Well it was a free country so now go from there TJ 🔥😳🔥
I wish I could move to Texas, a native born CA guy here who feels he is surrounded by delusional people with the mental capacity of a child.
But my family business is here, so I’ll keep fighting from behind enemy lines. Let’s get grewsome newsome OUT come august.
@@Triggernlfrl this can be answered by one question: do you support abortion in any capacity or case?
@@Triggernlfrl here sir let me give you the pre Texan test-
1. Do you believe there are more than 2 genders?
2. Do you think illegals have a right to come in freely?
3. Do you think the 1st and 2nd Amendments need to be changed in any way?
If you answered NO to all 3 Welcome to Texas!!! Wanna come over for a BBQ?
If you answered YES to any of the questions please try hang gliding into a volcano.
It feels like literally ALL CONTENT is being censored by RUclips. Which makes it seem weird that this guy is still here. Glad he is tho. Funny stuff
Love this man's satire, and watch him often. If you want to be relevant on RUclips you need to cross dress, and he has accomplished that in other videos. He is just confirming to their standards to not be censored.
Yeah, his sarcasm keeps him under the radar.
Yes a anomaly indeed.
RUclips doesn't have a "Scathing Sarcasm" algorithm . . . . yet . . . .
@@peterdarr383 Hey hey hey don't give the RUclips bots ideas! I would miss JP.
Texas seems like a decent place! Sincerely, your cousin, Georgia
This has to be one of my favorite videos you've done. Pure gold
JP: "You can't load bitcoin into your 9mm"
Texans: "Boy, did you mispronounce foaty five?"
That's the only factual error in this entire thing. 9mm is a varmint round.
Did you just assume my Caliber? O_O
That's what they did to Venezuela, took their guns away to make the safer from each other!
Muh stoppin powa!
@@markusp1699 Brilliant
I moved to Texas in December, I love Texas.
If the whole country was like Texas I think we would solve all of our problems.
Exactly!!
Minus austin and half of dallas and houston
The problems became serious when the north abandoned their “State first” mentality and became “Union first”. Then forced it on the south when they saw an opportunity after the Civil War.
@@KT-fi7tm Minus Austin, Dallas, Houston, San Anotonio, and El Paso, those are no longer Texan
@@KT-fi7tm well they're wanting to fix that w an audit🤪👏👏👏
I can’t tell if you’re joking around or not, but this is 100% true. Proud born & bred Texan here!🙋🏻♀️
PS Love BOTH shirts!
Did you know, it's easier to come back from a Nuclear strike, than to come back from Democratic rule? Just look at Hiroshima then look at Detroit. Or Baltimore. Or Chicago.
💯
That is a sick burn mate… 10/10
nukes are less dangerous than communism...
I live 45 minutes from Baltimore...northward in PA.
STILL TOO CLOSE🤔
No truer message.
Me a Texan: * *sees video* * "Oh no. He bout to do us dirty."
.
..
...
Me minute and a half in: "Fuck he is doin us dirty. But he's right."
This is truth. Not even satire now.
Being from Texas. There is no worse sight than seeing a California license plate in Texas.
Same in FL. I see so many!
I hate seeing California plates in arizona
Easy now! Some of us from California are die hard conservatives and no matter how hard we voted we could not overcome the Democrat election fraud machine!
Well said.
It makes my stomach tighten and I feel ill.
“Conceal and carry is where it’s at. I mean the only reason why you wanna wear a gun in your holster, is so your concealed gun has something to hide under”
fucking dead 🤣🤣🤣
you cant cary at all in comifornia
In Texas, a side item is simply a smaller steak.
Big ol''cowboy steak with butter soaked steak fries and a side of grits cooked with bacon fat- 'Murica
And mac & cheese falls under the vegetable category.
" in texas we don't have pronouns, we just have amateur nouns" love love love you JP!
I have actually used that line before . .
As an 8th generation “Texian”, I approve this message.
How did you get to be an 8th-generation native Texan since I'm a 4th-generation Texan, for my paternal great grandmother was born in Washington County in 1841.
“Austin is basically the tampon of Texas!” 😂😂😂
" The soft floppy thing in a sea of red".. LOL.
@@loki76 thats the best description of Austin ever!!
My favorite line lol
@@allinaday3526 I spent 19 years in Austin and will confirm.
My sister lived there for one year and she said you know their slogan keep Austin weird they're serious about that lol 🤣
Aside from the eating part...*those quantities is all*
I've officially found a mental state that I aspire to.
God bless Texas & JP
❤️😃🥂🤗😎🇺🇸🙏🏻
I served with allot of guys from Texas, and this is exactly how they act.
Yup lol
Texas= greatest country in the world
@@uncommonsense3022 yup, that's Texan talk alright 😂
That explains their service and thank you for yours.
@@marclaporte7163 you're very welcome
Ok, As a Texan I have to say its pretty darn accurate... You did forget Sweet Tea though.
Except all Native Texans know that it isn't Texans who would win the war. Specifically, it's the Texas A & M Corps of Cadets.
As a born and raised Texan all I have to say is, “He’s damn right”
Nice! God bless Texas! ❤️🙏🏼
Same!
Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!
All.Texans know that the "Q" in BBQ is for the tail not IQ.
@Jake Jackson always proud to find another 🇨🇱 Born and raised baby!
Austin is the over-ripe blueberry in the center of a fresh cherry pie.
More like a rotten blueberry.
The stench and Rotten to the core !
Yep.
Austin use to be awesome back in the late 70’s and early 80’s!!
Got damn this comment should be pinned
"Target number 2 is Austin, might solve their homeless problem", I died laughing!
Sad part is, even though Austin said no more tent towns, I still see them...
@@Repubpolitico all over near me
Eliminating Portland would improve Maine! Goddamn year-roun’ summah people!
Also one of the biggest education problems too not taking about the universities!!
Amen!!! I’m a Texan and approve this message!!! 💯