I'm Dutch and we great with 3! kisses. As a woman I'm expected to greet everyone that way. Going to a birthday party of someone in my family it easily 25 people. I live in Germany since 2008. Here the right arm hug is the norm. I like that much better. When a colleague has a birthday and we are not close it's more mutual pat on the back and thr closer you are the tighter the hug can be. I nevver had an awkward situation where I or the other misjudged. But now with the pandemic I don't think people will kissing people on their cheeks in the Netherlands. Maybe close friends and family only.
I’m British and I’ve given up tea, sliced bread, 10 hour working days and two hour commutes and that work until you make yourself sick culture. Thanks for your videos.
@@gillharvey8136 but if you retired you're not working, nor commuting so that doesn't really make sense. Just say you moved to France because you like the weather or you just like France.
I'm English, been here 14years. One habit I've lost is doing everything at top speed and expecting everything to be done for me at top speed either. Don't miss tea or sliced (prepacked) bread. I'm in the countryside so dress code is more relaxed. Don't refrigerate eggs either. Love a slow relaxed meal.
I feel like we got slightly ripped off being brought up English because of the lack of attention to food, enjoying a meal for over an hour, and massive sense of expectation about people meeting our every need. Maybe that's another ex-pat talking here, but I don't miss it either 😆😆
As a french I always had my coffee in a bar or a restaurant, it's 1€, it's served in a real cup and you just have to sit and wait. I remember the first time someone brought me to a Starbuck. Starbuck employee: "Hi, what's your name?" Me: "Why do you care?" I told the employee to stop calling me by "tu" (thou). Then after a short explaination of what's going on I got my coffee in a sad cardboard cup. - "8.5€ please" - "what the f***?" So, that's why starbuck isn't popular in France. Paying so much money for a coffee in a cardboard cup that you have to pick up yourself at the counter... We were not prepared.
Yes! Yes! I hate it when Starbucks asks my name -- it is none of their business. I tried giving a fake name, but then didn't respond when my coffee was ready. I think I'll try giving them a number. "Number 34, your coffee is ready". That might do nicely, and maybe give them a little message.
@@dsvance1 i’m from the United States but I don’t like having to give my name to a complete stranger at Starbucks . Actually, I don’t go to Starbucks anymore but when I did, I started giving them a made-up name that I would remember and then I got tired of doing that so then I just said I was 007 to make people laugh, and sometimes they wouldn’t want you to give a number so they would ask. How do you spell that and I would say SEVEN. I think companies started doing that to make it sound more personal because I notice not just Starbucks does that but many other fast food restaurants which I hardly ever go to. But actually, I don’t think it makes it sound more personal. It’s makes it sound more invading your privacy.
In France, we don't smile in the street, and we don't have air conditionning in our houses, because the weather ins not very hot and shiny in summer. That's the reason why we say, italians are frenchies in good mood.
My experience in France was the no smiling was a thing in Paris. Away from Paris, the French are very friendly, helpful and smiled all the time. Many strangers helped me get my French correct in a very friendly manner and were absolutely thrilled when I got it correct. Those people made my trip very enjoyable.
As a French native , living in southern France : we DO have air conditionning, but not using it like crazy as they do in the US! And, we give and get smiles, here... every day !
@@gusmonster59 I stayed in Aix-les-Bains for a few days, and the people were very friendly. They had pleasant expressions and would smile while talking, but they also don't walk around with ridiculous sourires americain all the time. I'm American, but I have never understood this compulsion to bare one's teeth in a grimace on the slightest pretext. I simply refuse to do it. Also, I'm an introvert, and Americans read introversion as being cold and unfriendly to begin with. Maybe I should resume my decades-old plan of moving to France. I like everything I'm hearing about it.
I'm french and the overly enthousiastic behaviours are soooo confusing and kind of scary to me i try to remember that it's coming from different culture standards but i also think that there's so much TOXICITY in positivity when it's not genuine but considered as a basic way of (re)acting
@@jazmine9570 Faire la bise are not true kisses. Some cheek on cheek. A lot of French don't like it that much tho. Usually, you did it with people you know well (family and friends) but you could easily get out of that with younger people.
Same for me. Every time I see people who are overly enthusiastic and friendly, I wonder if they want to sell me something or if they are in a cult. lol I know it's mostly my imagination, but those are still my thoughts in those moments.
I'm Polish and I approve that comment. My visit to the US was full of such intense experiences 🤣 like me preparing some food for my wife's family and they were just so over the top meanwhile I was expecting we will contemplate the food and talk about it instead of just acting weird and saying that it's really great. Like what does that even mean? You like it for real or trying to be nice? XD
I'm French too, and although I agree about American fake enthusiasm always giving me those "mentally disturbed person" vibes, I do also feel like that point of view deserves a counterweight. I used to live for a few years in Scotland, and I remember that distinct feeling when going to the airport to fly back to visit my family in France, waiting in front of the boarding gate with a majority of French people, the French crowd's mood always felt disappointingly dull and critical. The contrast towards the Scots' overall genuine lightheartedness felt depressingly striking every single time.
I don’t even hug as in American someone unless I know them very well, but I’m more introverted and raised differently perhaps. So I really dislike it in the United States but I just met someone at church and they give you a hug and you don’t really know them at all.
I'm Welsh and my mother, now deceased, used to do the very same thing. I think that's a generational thing rather than a French thing. My mother wouldn't have dreamt of going shopping without first putting on some make-up and changing her clothes. She would never have allowed herself to me seen in public in the same clothes that she wore to do housework. And I greatly respect that tradition. Young people have become far too casual.
On the dress code, as a Frenchman. Many people, like me, do wear shorts and t-shirt in summer, but even in this attire we usually are careful of our look - matching styles, colors, designs..... As for the sweatpants outside the privacy of your home, that's definitely a big NO, except when practicing sports of course. Do people really wear pajamas outside? I can't even think of that.
I never saw college students wear pajamas on campus in United States, but I didn’t go to college recently. It was some years ago. I think it is a recent thing because I never used to see people shop in pajamas so now in Walmart or other stores if you were in pajamas. Maybe I would never think of it. I would be embarrassed, but I’m a little older.
I am French and I would like to give you some tips : If you expect simple things to be done easily, so you have to realize that in a french point of view, we are more likely to see simple things as not so important to be done, because it can be done whatever ... We prefer to focus on important things to be done first, even if it is a difficult task, we focus on that as soon as we have understood that that task is important, and then after, we do simple things, or not ...And if you ask some french guys something to be done, even if it is simple, try to underscore the fact that for you it is important, or at least simulate that ...and also : don't be rude, try to appear open, and explain also the reason why, always explain ! before asking something to be done
Great vidéo, very accurate and very respectful of both cultures. I must say that I started using the ideas and intercultural respectful mindset I find in your vids to animate conversations when I teach French to migrant people. Definitively they are eager to participate on this basis more than on the grammatical tricky subjects, and we all learn interesting things !
I kind of wish the US had the French mindset about sweatpants. I don't go out dressed fancy, but I try to wear actual non-athletic clothes unless I'm doing something athletic. I did the sweatpants/pajamas thing in college too and just thinking back on it feels gross. I do find it funny that they would think of a hug as too personal. The idea of kissing someone on the cheek (or rather touching cheeks) once, let alone multiple times makes me want to crawl out of my own skin. Face to face contact is just too much for me. France would be a huge cultural adaptation for me, no doubt. Thanks for these fun videos, Diane!
Eggs in the USA are washed in such a way that it removes the protective layer that prevents bacteria from getting into them. The rest of the world don’t do that and eggs are not refrigerated in the rest of the world. Also, many countries forbid washing eggs to put them on sale the way Americans do because of the increase risk of contamination
I used to go the whole day not talking to anyone, but the past few years, since around the time of the pandemic, I started talking to people in public. And I love it. I'm amazed at how I've changed. It's also kind of helped me with my street photography, to be open to interacting with people and friendly. (in the US)
Been to the UK and that's not true. Never been to Albania but Poland... not my favorite place (or people!) in Europe. Just to say that not all European countries are similar in culture.
American, here. My eggs sit on the counter, too. I have my own chickens. My eggs and the eggs you get directly from certain farms are superior to average grocery store eggs.
The fourth one is a real nightmare, and you never actually get used to it. There’s always something wrong or a missing paper (that was never asked for in the first place) in the file you submitted or a new unexpected delay in the process. "It’s a good day when France finally surprises you", I really felt that ♥️
You are so right. The admin people are never happy with what you give them, or it needs to be translated, or it's more than three months old or I cannot understand how a country which I love and adore cannot get their admin act together. I thought maybe they do it just to protect their jobs for tasks long ago replaced by computers. Who knows? Anyway, "vive la France" that we have grown to love.
Thanks so much for sharing this video. I love what you said about adapting to other cultures. We should not just move to a country to "see" the culture but rather we should "live" it.😃😃
Its good that you respect the new culture where you live now. It shows your French friends and acquaintances you are a respectful person in general. Funny I have (former) French and German friends that tell me the most difficult and perplexing thing about American culture is the smiling, friendliness, and general openness with strangers. But they tell me that once you get used to it they find life much more pleasant in general. Funny.
Living in the Mid-Atlantic having an air conditioner (or HVAC system) is important because of the humidity in the house. There would be mold all over if there wasn’t one! Like Florida, I am in an area that use to be a swamp hundreds of years ago. Do you all have any humidity/mold problem?
If your houses were build with bricks and cement, instead of plywood, cardboard and timber, they wouldn't get so moldy. But living on a swamp area will always create those issues. Considered moving to a drier, healthier area maybe?
For the record, there are many "swampy" places in Europe where HVAC is not a norm either. See Camargue in France for instance. In these places, it's the choice of materials, the architecture and the way you interact with it that keeps a nice indoor climate, and those have been tested and tried and refined over centuries, if not millennia, and enhanced with modern material research. Then of course, this comes at a higher price than the typical plywood matchbox assemblies that seem to be the hallmark of residential architecture in the USA; and it can limit one's choice of housing style, in exchange for a closer relationship with your local environment, culture and history.
Merci beacoup! My mother and grandmother are French. I've always been uncomfortable with American strangers hugging me upon meeting me for the first time. I noticed this happened quite frequently in protestant churches. Your explanation makes sense. Your perspective allowed me to understand that the church goers were simply letting me know that I was accepted as the daughter of my respected mother. I interpreted it otherwise as men taking advantage of the situation. As an adult I extend my hand or nod to strangers. I find your videos culturally helpful to navigate the differences with respect and understanding, creating a better world.
I have only been to France once. I did try to bring my best clothes with me, but I felt totally underdressed and not very attractive. The French women were so beautiful!
@@leachateau2806 Years ago, before the 1990s, French women and the young too used to dress so well with very good quality clothes and shoes, tights, beautiful handbags and scarves. So much so, that French women were envied for their dress sense. French men used to dress well too and were close-shaved. What happened ? Obeying the E.U. directives, successive French governments wrecked a over centenary-old clothing industry, exported the machinery to cheaper countries, imported cheaper lower quality goods ; then the introduction of the Euro in 2000 in the European Union impoverished the French population who could no longer afford good quality 'Fabriqué en France' clothes to which we must add the casual Anglo-Saxon fashion that crossed over the Atlantic and English Channel.
Decades ago, a friend of mine was earning her degree in French language. She went to France every summer. One thing (of many) she told me was that a young French woman might own only three dresses, but one of them would be a designer dress.
@@michellemobakeng5938 ours too. While no comparable to France The US made this own clothes. People dressed way more professionally .Retail here is depressing .Before 90s there were regional or single department stores owned by families and we would have a huge selection of imports and ready to wear. Now all corporate owned and they are doing terribly I'm glad .They deserve it
Bonjour Diane, I am so happy you discovered your local “neighborhood Pharmacist “ for helpful answers to basic healthcare questions!! As I wrote to you before it so important and we have lost that in USA. Salute, Ronald your friendly neighborhood Pharmacist
Most Americans do not realize how well trained French pharmacists are. In America all pharmacists are permitted to do is package medications called for by doctors. Pharmacists in France can do much more, including diagnosing some medical conditions, and dispensing drugs, some of which can require a prescription.
Small talk: even after 30 years in the US, I have a very hard time with small talk. I also have a hard time with how "touchy" Americans can be. Grabbing your arm, putting the hand on your shoulders when you see them for the first time. Bises, kiss on the cheek, are only for young people or friends and family. Even as a French person, I would never kiss on the cheek another French person I meet for the first time.
There is a British woman in my village grocery store and she loves to chat with me! It was so odd at first because it’s not something I usually do. And I must say, my French friend who came over for a BBQ on Sunday loves to hug! It cracks me up because he’s the only one!
Salut ! I think that chattier French people are happy to talk to Americans because they know many of us are used to smalltalk so it gives them a reason to chat it up. Watch out for the guy!!! Maybe he's reallllly into those hugs for other reasons. Just kidding, maybe he finds hugs warm but you never now. Thanks for watching, Amy!
@@OuiInFrance Always enjoy your videos! Oh-we have the same AC for our bedroom and I think we’ve used it twice this year. I’ve used a blanket more than the AC this chilly summer!
Some of the characteristics you described...not making small talk, maintaining a less than enthusiastic demeanor, not being so smiley. Those are all standard traits in NYC. That's why New Yorkers are incorrectly assumed to be rude. They aren't rude, they're more to the point and less patient.
I've always felt I might fit in really well w NYC....lol...I'm from southern ca, so I'm somewhat used to bigger city manners, but, still an American....when I went to Paris I found it actually kind of refreshing to not have to be overly polite and say hi to everyone...lol. now I live in the south, but I honestly don't find people overly friendly.
Point 3 : I totally noticed that about you and maybe that's why I like you lol. I am pleased watching your videos because I usually find American youtubers a little, pardon me, but hysterical.
Thank you! I definitely do my best to present with energy but I'm definitely a more reserved introvert in my private life. But we all bring something different to the table. ;-)
And the point is: everyone notices that it’s a kind of forced behavior and that gives an impression of the person pretending or hiding something and that leads to mistrust.
I'm American and find it annoying. In many countries, you would say that a movie you like is good. Americans find "good" to mean so-so. Superlatives like best, greatest, fantastic are used. We're judged at work for enthusiasm, especially in a job where you have customers. I don't need all that fussing. Just be polite and competent. But not being EXCITED about everything can be seen as a lack of interest in your job.
I live 50 miles inland in Southern California. It gets hot in the summer. 115F, 46C. Because it’s not humid, I only need to leave the AC on at night a few times per year, but the South East US has to leave their AC on half the year. As far as the eating and pace of life, you guys are correct. This is a better way to live. The quality of food in France is incredible.
Take it from someone who lives in the south eastern part of the U.S, it can be the difference between life and death for people because sometimes it can get so hot and humid here that a person can suffer a heat stroke if they don't have an A.C.
Casual in France tends to be simple and elegant: same color tone, no big flowery things, simple well-adjusted cut. Casual in the US tends to be sloppy and eye-traumatizing.
@@900stx7 I live in a very touristy town in the US, we get "sample population" from all over the country. It is scary: looks like (almost) everybody just cleaned their garage. Even in expensive restaurants. Not only the clothes, but the body posture, the attitude, all is sloppy. It is getting worse every year. No self-respect, no dignity, no effort anymore. The US is in bad shape physically but even more mentally.
One funny thing is that it always depends on where you are coming from. For Russians, French people don’t really care about they appearance and look (especially for women) and they find French people really friendly and smiling.
Interesting. As a very typical Englishwoman I can relate so many things here. The reason for eggs not needing to be refrigerated is that in the USA the shells are washed in chlorine and in Europe they are left alone - but I think most of us put them in the fridge anyway and they can last for weeks. I think you would, surprisingly considering we mostly speak the same language, find things even more different in the UK than in France. We are suspicious of strangers approaching us with huge grins and open arms. We have less need for home air conditioning than France. Hugging had crept over the Atlantic to here pre-Pandemic but thankfully has retreated in its wake. Kissing is even worse. The further north in Europe you go, the bigger the personal space required. A hand shake has always been sufficient for me. It sounds as if you have enjoyed your time in France and brought the best of the USA to it and will take the best of France back to the USA.
@@MissNCGirl yeah I totally agree, especially when someone at church that I met for the first time gave me a hug. I really tried to back off politely, and but they insisted. !!
I'm flying back to France today, 24+ hours of flights and I'm gonna arrive in sweatpants or sports shorts and no one can stop me! Then it's back to no sweatpants outside 😭😂
I like to wear a longer skirt (mid-calf) with leggings for long flights. The skirt gives me privacy, and the leggings keep me warm (airplanes tend to be soo cold!) and let me have more freedom of movement than just a skirt. Shorts on public transport? No way! Shorts' legs pull up when I sit, and I don't know who was in that seat before or what got spilled/left behind.
Great work on this video Diane. I found myself smiling through many of your habits and recall when I first came to France, I quickly found out some of what I did as the norm, was just not common or even done in France. 😉 I also hadn’t heard of Skil Share before, but this looks really good. I know I’ll find some excellent learning after seeing so many topics. Wow! Looking forward to it!
When we moved to rural Normandy we found that getting anything significant from a shop always took three trips. On the first one you would be told that they don't have that model in stock, but they can order it and it will arrive in "quinze jours". You go back two or three weeks later to find that it hasn't arrived yet. The store owner isn't the least bit surprised because, it turns out, "quinze jours" actually means "at least two weeks but probably longer, who can say?". This is when the store owner offers to phone you when it has arrived. A further two or three weeks later you finally realise that you're not going to get the call and instead you call the store, to be told that the item has been sitting in the shop for two or three weeks. Finally, on your third trip, you become the proud owner of the vacuum cleaner (true story), fax machine (true story), cooker (you get the idea...) with much celebration and excitement on the part of the store owner who is proud to have served you so diligently and takes delight in your new-found joy of ownership.
I have been back in the US for 9 years and I still don't do hugs, I find them very uncomfortable. I still have later dinners though. :) Not unusual to eat at 7:30-8:00 which is not comfortable for Americans. I still tend to walk through stores and down the street not smiling and being 'friendly', have a much harder time since being back doing 'small talk'. I miss the 'honest feeling' I get from being in France, around the French who do not smile and be friendly when they don't know you or don't like you, miss the awesome food, listening to the quietness when they speak vs here listening to conversations from across the room. Your videos make me incredibly home sick for France and I am an American. LOL. Guess it was a lot easier to take the US out of me then some others! I do NOT miss though the difficulty of doing every day small things that here are so easy to do.
Not overly smiley behavior that you talked about in the United States, I experienced after I came back from working overseas. Now whenever I’m in a restaurant in the United States, when a waitress or waiter, seems to bound up and be overly friendly and check back way more times than I need, I just want to be left alone with my relative or friend and have a conversation instead of been interrupted three or four times, are you sure you’re OK says the waiter, are you sure the food is delicious? Drives me crazy. !!! But I know that’s what they’re taught to do
Before AC arrived in Toronto people kept all of their doors open and sat on their porches while their kids played together on the street. Now? Someone would call social services and the police if they saw such menacing endangerment.
It’s true some buildings are over-air conditioned but I have allergies, including to grass so I use air-conditioning instead of fresh air. When I visit my parents in Florida I have to double my allergy medication.
(Melanie here) I think an introvert would be more comfortable in France, then :) My parents are from England and I also lived there. I am a British introvert and do feel a little "taken back" with the "overly friendliness" expectation of some people in the U.S. It's hard, though, because sometimes people can interpret that as being uninterested or unfriendly.
Being an introvert in the U.S. is seen as being "less". Extrovertness is definitely pushed. Introversion is seen as a weakness. You're expected to slap on that ridiculous grimace, er, "smile" and talk loud and happy.
@@dsvance1 Is it everywhere in the US ? In France, we are generally more extrovert in the South, and more introvert in the North. In the south, small talk is more common (although not the same way than in the US). Excellent intercultural approach from Diane anyway !
It's very interesting to hear your list because, apparently I moved to France without realizing it since I have all the same habits. I do hug my friends and family because they would be insulted if I didn't, but I'd rather not hug anyone other than my wife. Peut-être qu'apprendre le français m'a changé plus que je ne le pensais. Non, j'ai toujours été comme ça. Merci pour vos vidéos.
I really like the idea of lingering over a meal, however I'm the only one in my family who would like to do so. Definitely an eat & run mentality around here 15 minutes outside of Manhattan.
I have the same approach to dressing in public and eating meals as French. I usually make and drink my coffee at home. I'd fit in with regards to these, but no small talk would take some getting used to.
As the french who live in US, you described it very well and very politely but the social interactions are completely different. The small talks thing is really something I'm in trouble with.
What is odd with small talk is that a French would think people are wanting to become friend when there are actually not. Little chance you get friend with a daily life joe if you are not from his neighborhood or from the same alma matter.
@@testman9541 I'm used to it now but for sure I knew that the people in front of me didn't try to become my friend and this is why I didn't want to answer to his questions. When you are in front of a cashier you don't want to tell him what is your plan for the evening (the classical, Do you have plan for tonight ? at the supermarket).
@@davidthuilot2159 Yes, this is a practice that started in the U.S. about five years ago. I go to the bank for some business, and the cashier starts asking me about my plans for the week-end. And if I try to side-step the question, it is followed with a more pointed question. I'm not quite willing to be so rude as to tell them it's none of their business, but I always leave irritated. I think next time I'll simply repeat my request -- "I'd like to deposit this check, please" as if maybe she didn't hear me. If she still tries to chat, then "The check", and nudge it toward her. Yes, thank you. This has brought me a solution.
A/C used to be non existent in cars 40 years ago, they're now the norm, same thing with newly built houses and condos south of the Loire river. I live near Avignon we use the A/C between April and October, occasionally.
Yup, I remember those differences from years ago working a few months in France. In addition, I recall my normal American speaking volume seemed louder than the French. Also, ordering a cafe au lait after a certain time was considered a child's drink. But I refused to budge on that one.
I just wanna react to "the coffee to go" : Yes, StarBuck$ is not really a big thing in France, at least not as big as it is in America. I think their coffee is okay, not bad, not good, just okay... and that is the problem : they are not it the coffee-shop retail industry, they are in the Empowerment business, selling the feeling of being someone by paying 6 or 7 bucks for a dime-worth of grind beans. Curiously enough, I see more and more Cafés and Bistros, selling "coffee to go" in paper cups, well at least in Paris region. there are even jokes about it : un café à emporter ! = 6€ ; bonjour, un café à emporter s'il vous plait = 1.20€ :p
Besides why deal with "Starbucks" barely okay coffee and not all that bad muffins, when you have next to you a good old "Honey & Pie" I dunno for people who are living in the South of France but over here in Northern France , if you want coffee to go you go to Honey & Pie.
I find Starbucks to be overpriced and bitter. It is a last resort for me. I sometimes catch an hour-long ferry to go to the nearby city, and Starbucks is the nearest place (they still aren't selling coffee on the ferry due to Covid). But I'll leave 20 minutes early just to drive to a coffee hut across (my little) town to get a good couple of cups to drink on the ferry.
#3-as far as this goes, I would fit right in lol. I always feel like something is wrong with me because I’m not over the top enthusiastic and that the people around me are louder and over the top excited or happy-I will say hello or good morning, but that’s about it. Must be the French in me. Lol. The hugging thing too, very much not me. Lol.
Same for me leaving in Ireland, I had to lose some of the things I used to do. Faire la bise obviously. 👀 eating from the deli for lunch as the lunch is usually so short and you don't always have the energy anymore to prepare your lunch.. Getting used to being hugged as friendship ☺️
Just remember that Starbucks didn't always exist in the United States either. 25 years ago, it was similar to how you described office coffee in France. Sometimes, a collection was taken to buy better quality coffee, because office coffee was usually bitter.
7:18 I wish this was the case everywhere. South African here, and it’s also very common for people to dress down. Sweatpants are fine, but I draw the line at pjs, slippers and gowns for adults out in public. 11:19 I experienced this in Greece. Someone was greeting me and going in for a kiss - I mistook this for a hug. When I tried to hug her she literally kept leaning back until I gave up 🤣🤣🤣 Awkward.
French eggs are not washed in France when laid by hens, they are processed with dry air which removes bacterias and the absence of moisture prevent bacterias to come back ...
on the egg thing, they do not wash the eggs in France which leaves a dry coating on the eggs keeping them mostly air tight. In NA we wash the eggs and thus need to be refrigerated - but tbh that's just to stop salmonella, so if youre cooking stuff it doesn't really matter.
In The Netherlands for example, not far from France, people have a coffee to go mostly when traveling by train. They by their coffee at a Starbucks at the station or at some other vendor. In the city centre of Utrecht there is also a Starbucks, but I guess when people buy a coffee or tea there they go sit, inside or outside and drink it. Not while walking. People normally just go to a cafe to sit and drink coffee and tea and chat.
I lived in Germany for 10 years, prior to moving to the USA. The Germans are extremely formal, the US, not so much. The amusing thing I found was acting as a translator. In German the language changes based on the situation, I would never allow a younger person to call me Du (informal you), but insist they call me Sie (formal you). In English I would introduce myself as Peter, in Germany it’s Herr (Mr.) King. In Germany you’ll rarely hear swear words, instead they will just lay in to you. Instead calling you an incompetent idiot, know nothing, waste of space…… I pointed out my FiL coworker’s mistake to my FiL, he immediately lost all respect in the company, and immediately his promotion chances evaporated.
Maybe it depends on what region in Germany because someone I knew from southern Germany is informal , and she definitely use swearwords at times but apologize for using it accidentally
Love that you are embracing their culture..Not expecting them to adjust to you....I live in Canada...I find some people want us to adjust to them., when they move here...Love your videos.
Don't put eggs in the fridge, (in France), natural eggs DO NOT need to be cooled down as yes there is no artificial barrier, they can las for 15days at room temp.
3:00 or there about] I think the thing I would be *least* willing to relinquish to the French, is my American polite social smile. 'Aux Etats Unis,' almost every day I walk four to six miles on the local pedestrian trail with a polite social smile on my face the whole time, it actually makes me feel happy, it shifts my normal dour mood. Ok, it is also a little fake - a little. If someone passes me the other way, I smile more broadly and say, 'hello' - consciously. A couple of times a week this polite social strategy yields me a truly delightful five or ten minute conversation with one of my fellow citizens - a complete stranger - about a random topic. [the French might not quite understand this] This strategy seems to make everything in my life *better.* I am also an amateur photographer - landscapes mostly, nature - I walk with a camera. When I'm taking a photo I'm all business; even then people stop to watch what I am doing, ask polite questions, [they are Americans, they feel free to do so - politely] I inform them to the best of my ability. Another delightful conversation, another example of a community being made an actual community - even if I *cannot stand* their politics. Last September in France walking about half the Chemin du Puy, 'l'autre sense,' from Cahors to Le Puy-en-Velay, I did the exact same thing and it worked - and it worked *really* well. First thing the French, they are so cute, everyone is walking south and you are the *one guy* walking north, they assume immediately that you are lost and ask if you are ok. I immediately launch into my 30 second 'elevator speech' - in French - about how I am walking *towards* Le Puy not towards Santiago de Compostela [like everyone else]. I'm walking in order to bury my late father, with his father in the 'caveau de ma famille la bas.' I did this as many as six times a day. I met *everyone* on the trail, I met thousands of people on the trail, mostly French, [it was the COVID season] some Germans, some Dutch, one or two Americans, one Brit. It was great! It was awesome! I was the one American at the dinner table almost every night for a month. It does not get better than that if you are actually interested in the French. I was interviewed twice on camera by indigenous film makers - in French - telling my little story about me and my dead father. The French were genuinely deeply moved; on their 'randonee' or 'pelerinage' I was one of their peak experiences, I was *that guy* - like in 'le film' carrying his fathers ashes in his 'sac a dos'. One guy I met on the trail for five minutes, where was it? Ah, near Faycelle?? he was practically in tears hearing about *my* dead father and my plan to bury him with *his* father. Wow, you have to think about that. It struck a chord, what was that chord? Don't know. This is what is possible if you know how to systematically open yourself to strangers. The world awaits. Don't be too French and only open up at all to your closest friends - your fellow citizens deserve some of you too. The French are coconuts, American are peaches according to Geraldine over at 'Comme Une Francaise' - yeah, kinda. I prefer to be a peach when I can, I meet more nice people that way. If you are an American in France, be an American, just be a little respectful and open - everyone will love you. Worked for me.
It took me a long time to stop being paranoid. I kept carrying all my documents around in a briefcase. It weighed a lot and I was always worried I'd lose everything. But nobody harassed me for documents. They weren't worried about it. The fact that it took me so long to get my identity card scared me. But everything takes a long time here. It's normal.
Oh my gosh, Diane! I hate small talk. Hate it. It must be the French in me coming through. I’d rather talk about something important or something me or the other person is passionate about. Great list though!!!
Yep ! La « pause café » est un réel moment de socialisation. C'est souvent l'occasion d'échanger des idées ou des concepts. La plupart du temps, c'est même lors de ces moments que les problèmes sont résolues, c'est dire l'importance de la chose. Sur la climatisation, il est vrai que c'est encore « rare ». Mais, tout comme en Grèce il y a quelques années. Mais avec le changement climatique et les vagues de chaleur, il y a fort à parier que, comme en Grèce, la chose se généralise même si les normes en matière d'isolation sont bien plus strictes en Europe qu'aux États-Unis.
It's always very funny to see foreigners and French people alike struggle with the number of cheek kisses, because in Belgium where I live it's always one no matter what (except new year's eve).
Everything you talk about, wow I’d rather live where you live💜I think you can make a pair of H&M sweatpants quite chic depending on what you wear them with.
Diane très juste votre remarque : il y a une bonne humeur américaine un peu forcée parfois qui peut être difficile à supporter même pour un américain Difficile de se plaindre aux usa Pour nous c’est l’inverse c’est notre sport préféré vous le savez bien 🤩
Yes. I feel the same way. A kiss on the cheek feels more intimate to me than a hug. I've learned to adapt depending on where the person is from but a kiss feels odd. Hugs just feel normal.
Your face is the less intimate part of your body. It's more logical to _faire la bise_ than hug someone (and imprison her/him in your arms) ! Almost, you don't kiss everybody, there are social limits.
5. Homeless indeed, in towns and cities. In villages most people don't care. My mother's house has a big front and back garden, and is located in a croisement. I - or she - usually to the garden with our pajamas or dressing gown. Same for walking the dog in the street, we do it in jogging and no one really cares.
Funny story about #3. We just had an offer accepted on an apartment in France, and my partner is really really happy. His reaction though? He looked at me almost deadpan and said "I'm thrilled." 😆😆😆 Luckily I know now that that really means he is in fact over the moon. 😂
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I'm Dutch and we great with 3! kisses. As a woman I'm expected to greet everyone that way. Going to a birthday party of someone in my family it easily 25 people. I live in Germany since 2008. Here the right arm hug is the norm. I like that much better. When a colleague has a birthday and we are not close it's more mutual pat on the back and thr closer you are the tighter the hug can be. I nevver had an awkward situation where I or the other misjudged. But now with the pandemic I don't think people will kissing people on their cheeks in the Netherlands. Maybe close friends and family only.
@@jinde75 Don't you wonder what is a "french kiss"???? We still practise it, wathever the pandemic...
I’m British and I’ve given up tea, sliced bread, 10 hour working days and two hour commutes and that work until you make yourself sick culture. Thanks for your videos.
Well done, Queen! 👍❤️
And doesnt it feel great? I've retired to France and I'm loving having to give up all the things you mentioned too.
I would say good for you but you know nobody forces you to work until you're sick no matter where you live.
@@gillharvey8136 but if you retired you're not working, nor commuting so that doesn't really make sense. Just say you moved to France because you like the weather or you just like France.
why tea ? :c
I'm English, been here 14years. One habit I've lost is doing everything at top speed and expecting everything to be done for me at top speed either. Don't miss tea or sliced (prepacked) bread. I'm in the countryside so dress code is more relaxed. Don't refrigerate eggs either. Love a slow relaxed meal.
I feel like we got slightly ripped off being brought up English because of the lack of attention to food, enjoying a meal for over an hour, and massive sense of expectation about people meeting our every need. Maybe that's another ex-pat talking here, but I don't miss it either 😆😆
"Sweatpants are a sign of failure. You've lost control of your life so you go out in sweatpants" - Karl Lagerfeld
😂🤣
😂
Isn't he dead? He lost, regardless of what he wore.
Lagerfield always dressed like a weirdo.....not the example to follow TBH.....
I agree with Karl.
I agree!!!
As a french I always had my coffee in a bar or a restaurant, it's 1€, it's served in a real cup and you just have to sit and wait.
I remember the first time someone brought me to a Starbuck.
Starbuck employee: "Hi, what's your name?"
Me: "Why do you care?"
I told the employee to stop calling me by "tu" (thou). Then after a short explaination of what's going on I got my coffee in a sad cardboard cup.
- "8.5€ please"
- "what the f***?"
So, that's why starbuck isn't popular in France. Paying so much money for a coffee in a cardboard cup that you have to pick up yourself at the counter... We were not prepared.
Yes, as a french I've been once in a Starbucks and I will never go again, it is too awkward.
Yes! Yes! I hate it when Starbucks asks my name -- it is none of their business. I tried giving a fake name, but then didn't respond when my coffee was ready. I think I'll try giving them a number. "Number 34, your coffee is ready". That might do nicely, and maybe give them a little message.
@@dsvance1 i’m from the United States but I don’t like having to give my name to a complete stranger at Starbucks
. Actually, I don’t go to Starbucks anymore but when I did, I started giving them a made-up name that I would remember and then I got tired of doing that so then I just said I was 007 to make people laugh, and sometimes they wouldn’t want you to give a number so they would ask. How do you spell that and I would say SEVEN.
I think companies started doing that to make it sound more personal because I notice not just Starbucks does that but many other fast food restaurants which I hardly ever go to. But actually, I don’t think it makes it sound more personal. It’s makes it sound more invading your privacy.
Starbucks are dirty américan capitalistes. Juste miss the, go to FRENCH cafés.
Je trouve que tu fais une super ambassadrice de la France car tu a parfaitement saisi nos codes et principes si "gaulois"!
I m a " 🐸 but don't give a fleeting shit at these outdated principles.
In France, we don't smile in the street, and we don't have air conditionning in our houses, because the weather ins not very hot and shiny in summer. That's the reason why we say, italians are frenchies in good mood.
My experience in France was the no smiling was a thing in Paris. Away from Paris, the French are very friendly, helpful and smiled all the time. Many strangers helped me get my French correct in a very friendly manner and were absolutely thrilled when I got it correct. Those people made my trip very enjoyable.
As a French native , living in southern France : we DO have air conditionning, but not using it like crazy as they do in the US! And, we give and get smiles, here... every day !
@@angladephil Logique de moins faire la gueule quand on habite dans le sud
I live in south of France and almost all the people I know have air conditioning. People sometimes forget that France is big and has several climate 😅
@@gusmonster59 I stayed in Aix-les-Bains for a few days, and the people were very friendly. They had pleasant expressions and would smile while talking, but they also don't walk around with ridiculous sourires americain all the time. I'm American, but I have never understood this compulsion to bare one's teeth in a grimace on the slightest pretext. I simply refuse to do it. Also, I'm an introvert, and Americans read introversion as being cold and unfriendly to begin with. Maybe I should resume my decades-old plan of moving to France. I like everything I'm hearing about it.
I'm french and the overly enthousiastic behaviours are soooo confusing and kind of scary to me i try to remember that it's coming from different culture standards but i also think that there's so much TOXICITY in positivity when it's not genuine but considered as a basic way of (re)acting
@@jazmine9570 Faire la bise are not true kisses. Some cheek on cheek. A lot of French don't like it that much tho. Usually, you did it with people you know well (family and friends) but you could easily get out of that with younger people.
Same for me. Every time I see people who are overly enthusiastic and friendly, I wonder if they want to sell me something or if they are in a cult. lol I know it's mostly my imagination, but those are still my thoughts in those moments.
I'm Polish and I approve that comment. My visit to the US was full of such intense experiences 🤣 like me preparing some food for my wife's family and they were just so over the top meanwhile I was expecting we will contemplate the food and talk about it instead of just acting weird and saying that it's really great. Like what does that even mean? You like it for real or trying to be nice? XD
I'm French too, and although I agree about American fake enthusiasm always giving me those "mentally disturbed person" vibes, I do also feel like that point of view deserves a counterweight. I used to live for a few years in Scotland, and I remember that distinct feeling when going to the airport to fly back to visit my family in France, waiting in front of the boarding gate with a majority of French people, the French crowd's mood always felt disappointingly dull and critical. The contrast towards the Scots' overall genuine lightheartedness felt depressingly striking every single time.
Who says it's not genuine?
I don’t even hug as in American someone unless I know them very well, but I’m more introverted and raised differently perhaps. So I really dislike it in the United States but I just met someone at church and they give you a hug and you don’t really know them at all.
My 83 year old mum spends half an hour to dress up, fix her make up, check her hair, before going for the supermarket. We’re french…
Love that!!
As a french I don't know what you mean about half an hour ! Is it too short or too long for british and americans ?
@@michelmontet5115too long :D Many would just go as they are, even if they are in pyjamas.
I'm Welsh and my mother, now deceased, used to do the very same thing. I think that's a generational thing rather than a French thing. My mother wouldn't have dreamt of going shopping without first putting on some make-up and changing her clothes. She would never have allowed herself to me seen in public in the same clothes that she wore to do housework. And I greatly respect that tradition. Young people have become far too casual.
Me but I’m 32
On the dress code, as a Frenchman. Many people, like me, do wear shorts and t-shirt in summer, but even in this attire we usually are careful of our look - matching styles, colors, designs..... As for the sweatpants outside the privacy of your home, that's definitely a big NO, except when practicing sports of course. Do people really wear pajamas outside? I can't even think of that.
College kids on campus do ;-)
I never saw college students wear pajamas on campus in United States, but I didn’t go to college recently. It was some years ago. I think it is a recent thing because I never used to see people shop in pajamas so now in Walmart or other stores if you were in pajamas. Maybe I would never think of it. I would be embarrassed, but I’m a little older.
I am French and I would like to give you some tips : If you expect simple things to be done easily, so you have to realize that in a french point of view, we are more likely to see simple things as not so important to be done, because it can be done whatever ... We prefer to focus on important things to be done first, even if it is a difficult task, we focus on that as soon as we have understood that that task is important, and then after, we do simple things, or not ...And if you ask some french guys something to be done, even if it is simple, try to underscore the fact that for you it is important, or at least simulate that ...and also : don't be rude, try to appear open, and explain also the reason why, always explain ! before asking something to be done
American explanation: “this is your job…. So do it now. “.
Good thing I’m Canadian:
“Can you please do ……”
@@eswing2153 French response : yes, but plse explain why do you want it first
@@oakhauser
American response- Are you effing kidding me?
While the French trudge through explanations, the Americans got the job done lol
This was interesting and i enjoy how you explain things without judgement & being logical
I love how you explain culture.
Great vidéo, very accurate and very respectful of both cultures. I must say that I started using the ideas and intercultural respectful mindset I find in your vids to animate conversations when I teach French to migrant people. Definitively they are eager to participate on this basis more than on the grammatical tricky subjects, and we all learn interesting things !
I kind of wish the US had the French mindset about sweatpants. I don't go out dressed fancy, but I try to wear actual non-athletic clothes unless I'm doing something athletic. I did the sweatpants/pajamas thing in college too and just thinking back on it feels gross.
I do find it funny that they would think of a hug as too personal. The idea of kissing someone on the cheek (or rather touching cheeks) once, let alone multiple times makes me want to crawl out of my own skin. Face to face contact is just too much for me. France would be a huge cultural adaptation for me, no doubt.
Thanks for these fun videos, Diane!
I so miss France and hope to get back there next year. I admire your adapting to living there with grace.
Eggs in the USA are washed in such a way that it removes the protective layer that prevents bacteria from getting into them. The rest of the world don’t do that and eggs are not refrigerated in the rest of the world. Also, many countries forbid washing eggs to put them on sale the way Americans do because of the increase risk of contamination
I used to go the whole day not talking to anyone, but the past few years, since around the time of the pandemic, I started talking to people in public. And I love it. I'm amazed at how I've changed. It's also kind of helped me with my street photography, to be open to interacting with people and friendly. (in the US)
Everything you have talked about is true for the whole of Europe. From the UK to Poland to Albania.
Been to the UK and that's not true. Never been to Albania but Poland... not my favorite place (or people!) in Europe. Just to say that not all European countries are similar in culture.
American, here. My eggs sit on the counter, too. I have my own chickens. My eggs and the eggs you get directly from certain farms are superior to average grocery store eggs.
The fourth one is a real nightmare, and you never actually get used to it. There’s always something wrong or a missing paper (that was never asked for in the first place) in the file you submitted or a new unexpected delay in the process.
"It’s a good day when France finally surprises you", I really felt that ♥️
You are so right. The admin people are never happy with what you give them, or it needs to be translated, or it's more than three months old or I cannot understand how a country which I love and adore cannot get their admin act together. I thought maybe they do it just to protect their jobs for tasks long ago replaced by computers. Who knows? Anyway, "vive la France" that we have grown to love.
Thanks so much for sharing this video. I love what you said about adapting to other cultures. We should not just move to a country to "see" the culture but rather we should "live" it.😃😃
No one in the US is ready for this, since US citizen think they are sooooooo right and the center of the world
i am French and live in Ireland, you have no idea how much they piss me off with their non stop small talk .
The french way of meal is on the unesco list of immaterial patrimony of humanity.
Its good that you respect the new culture where you live now. It shows your French friends and acquaintances you are a respectful person in general. Funny I have (former) French and German friends that tell me the most difficult and perplexing thing about American culture is the smiling, friendliness, and general openness with strangers. But they tell me that once you get used to it they find life much more pleasant in general. Funny.
OMG, I hate that habit of people taking their coffee out. It generates mountains of trash in NYC
Living in the Mid-Atlantic having an air conditioner (or HVAC system) is important because of the humidity in the house. There would be mold all over if there wasn’t one! Like Florida, I am in an area that use to be a swamp hundreds of years ago. Do you all have any humidity/mold problem?
If your houses were build with bricks and cement, instead of plywood, cardboard and timber, they wouldn't get so moldy. But living on a swamp area will always create those issues. Considered moving to a drier, healthier area maybe?
For the record, there are many "swampy" places in Europe where HVAC is not a norm either. See Camargue in France for instance. In these places, it's the choice of materials, the architecture and the way you interact with it that keeps a nice indoor climate, and those have been tested and tried and refined over centuries, if not millennia, and enhanced with modern material research. Then of course, this comes at a higher price than the typical plywood matchbox assemblies that seem to be the hallmark of residential architecture in the USA; and it can limit one's choice of housing style, in exchange for a closer relationship with your local environment, culture and history.
Merci beacoup! My mother and grandmother are French. I've always been uncomfortable with American strangers hugging me upon meeting me for the first time. I noticed this happened quite frequently in protestant churches. Your explanation makes sense. Your perspective allowed me to understand that the church goers were simply letting me know that I was accepted as the daughter of my respected mother. I interpreted it otherwise as men taking advantage of the situation. As an adult I extend my hand or nod to strangers. I find your videos culturally helpful to navigate the differences with respect and understanding, creating a better world.
*beaUcoup
I have only been to France once. I did try to bring my best clothes with me, but I felt totally underdressed and not very attractive. The French women were so beautiful!
I'm French and this happened to me as I went to Italy ^^ ahahah
@@leachateau2806 Years ago, before the 1990s, French women and the young too used to dress so well with very good quality clothes and shoes, tights, beautiful handbags and scarves. So much so, that French women were envied for their dress sense. French men used to dress well too and were close-shaved.
What happened ? Obeying the E.U. directives, successive French governments wrecked a over centenary-old clothing industry, exported the machinery to cheaper countries, imported cheaper lower quality goods ; then the introduction of the Euro in 2000 in the European Union impoverished the French population who could no longer afford good quality 'Fabriqué en France' clothes to which we must add the casual Anglo-Saxon fashion that crossed over the Atlantic and English Channel.
Decades ago, a friend of mine was earning her degree in French language. She went to France every summer. One thing (of many) she told me was that a young French woman might own only three dresses, but one of them would be a designer dress.
@@michellemobakeng5938 ours too. While no comparable to France The US made this own clothes. People dressed way more professionally .Retail here is depressing .Before 90s there were regional or single department stores owned by families and we would have a huge selection of imports and ready to wear. Now all corporate owned and they are doing terribly I'm glad .They deserve it
Bonjour Diane,
I am so happy you discovered your local “neighborhood Pharmacist “ for helpful answers to basic healthcare questions!! As I wrote to you before it so important and we have lost that in USA.
Salute, Ronald your friendly neighborhood Pharmacist
Most Americans do not realize how well trained French pharmacists are. In America all pharmacists are permitted to do is package medications called for by doctors. Pharmacists in France can do much more, including diagnosing some medical conditions, and dispensing drugs, some of which can require a prescription.
Small talk: even after 30 years in the US, I have a very hard time with small talk. I also have a hard time with how "touchy" Americans can be. Grabbing your arm, putting the hand on your shoulders when you see them for the first time. Bises, kiss on the cheek, are only for young people or friends and family. Even as a French person, I would never kiss on the cheek another French person I meet for the first time.
Not all all Americans are the same way. I and my relatives and some of my friends are not these touchy, feeling kind of Americans.
There is a British woman in my village grocery store and she loves to chat with me! It was so odd at first because it’s not something I usually do. And I must say, my French friend who came over for a BBQ on Sunday loves to hug! It cracks me up because he’s the only one!
Salut ! I think that chattier French people are happy to talk to Americans because they know many of us are used to smalltalk so it gives them a reason to chat it up. Watch out for the guy!!! Maybe he's reallllly into those hugs for other reasons. Just kidding, maybe he finds hugs warm but you never now. Thanks for watching, Amy!
@@OuiInFrance Always enjoy your videos! Oh-we have the same AC for our bedroom and I think we’ve used it twice this year. I’ve used a blanket more than the AC this chilly summer!
Some of the characteristics you described...not making small talk, maintaining a less than enthusiastic demeanor, not being so smiley. Those are all standard traits in NYC. That's why New Yorkers are incorrectly assumed to be rude. They aren't rude, they're more to the point and less patient.
I've always felt I might fit in really well w NYC....lol...I'm from southern ca, so I'm somewhat used to bigger city manners, but, still an American....when I went to Paris I found it actually kind of refreshing to not have to be overly polite and say hi to everyone...lol. now I live in the south, but I honestly don't find people overly friendly.
7:15 "It's a good day when France pleasantly surprises you." -Diane, August, 2021
🤔 Hear, hear. 🇺🇸🇫🇷
Point 3 : I totally noticed that about you and maybe that's why I like you lol. I am pleased watching your videos because I usually find American youtubers a little, pardon me, but hysterical.
Thank you! I definitely do my best to present with energy but I'm definitely a more reserved introvert in my private life. But we all bring something different to the table. ;-)
And the point is: everyone notices that it’s a kind of forced behavior and that gives an impression of the person pretending or hiding something and that leads to mistrust.
I'm American and find it annoying. In many countries, you would say that a movie you like is good. Americans find "good" to mean so-so. Superlatives like best, greatest, fantastic are used. We're judged at work for enthusiasm, especially in a job where you have customers. I don't need all that fussing. Just be polite and competent. But not being EXCITED about everything can be seen as a lack of interest in your job.
Il me semble , en effet que la population des U.S.A. soit, de par ses attitudes exubérantes et (pseudo) enthousiastes, quelque peu hystériforme.
I live 50 miles inland in Southern California. It gets hot in the summer. 115F, 46C. Because it’s not humid, I only need to leave the AC on at night a few times per year, but the South East US has to leave their AC on half the year. As far as the eating and pace of life, you guys are correct. This is a better way to live. The quality of food in France is incredible.
Take it from someone who lives in the south eastern part of the U.S, it can be the difference between life and death for people because sometimes it can get so hot and humid here that a person can suffer a heat stroke if they don't have an A.C.
Americans being smiley, friendly & upbeat is simply part of their culture & i always think it is beautiful.
As an American, I found that very annoying. It was so artificial. So I am no longer there.
Casual in France tends to be simple and elegant: same color tone, no big flowery things, simple well-adjusted cut. Casual in the US tends to be sloppy and eye-traumatizing.
Unfortunately, "sloppy" has become a style in the US.
It's a race to the bottom. 😢
@@900stx7 I live in a very touristy town in the US, we get "sample population" from all over the country. It is scary: looks like (almost) everybody just cleaned their garage. Even in expensive restaurants. Not only the clothes, but the body posture, the attitude, all is sloppy. It is getting worse every year. No self-respect, no dignity, no effort anymore. The US is in bad shape physically but even more mentally.
So now it’s official. You said, « The French are human too. »
Hahhaha glad you liked that
One funny thing is that it always depends on where you are coming from. For Russians, French people don’t really care about they appearance and look (especially for women) and they find French people really friendly and smiling.
If that's the case,then I would suspect that Russians coming to America is a bombshell of a culture shock!😂
Interesting. As a very typical Englishwoman I can relate so many things here. The reason for eggs not needing to be refrigerated is that in the USA the shells are washed in chlorine and in Europe they are left alone - but I think most of us put them in the fridge anyway and they can last for weeks. I think you would, surprisingly considering we mostly speak the same language, find things even more different in the UK than in France. We are suspicious of strangers approaching us with huge grins and open arms. We have less need for home air conditioning than France. Hugging had crept over the Atlantic to here pre-Pandemic but thankfully has retreated in its wake. Kissing is even worse. The further north in Europe you go, the bigger the personal space required. A hand shake has always been sufficient for me. It sounds as if you have enjoyed your time in France and brought the best of the USA to it and will take the best of France back to the USA.
I am an American and dislike people I don't know or know very well hugging me.
@@MissNCGirl same, I sure can't imagine kissing people on the cheeks, that seems so much more intimate.
@@MissNCGirl yeah I totally agree, especially when someone at church that I met for the first time gave me a hug. I really tried to back off politely, and but they insisted. !!
I just saw this on a German woman's video that Germany does not have AC in their homes. I love this!! For one thing it is environmentally friendly.
Also, in Germany, they can do without AC because it’s much cooler for most of the year. I said once in a while in August still have a heat wave.
Years ago, the Paris McDonalds did not open till 10 AM. This was very near Arc d'Triomphe and Champs Elyssee. I ordered Cafe Americano there.
I'm flying back to France today, 24+ hours of flights and I'm gonna arrive in sweatpants or sports shorts and no one can stop me! Then it's back to no sweatpants outside 😭😂
It's OK. Long flights are no joke. Safe travels!
I remember when we used to dress up to fly, though we dressed up for s lot of things
I like to wear a longer skirt (mid-calf) with leggings for long flights. The skirt gives me privacy, and the leggings keep me warm (airplanes tend to be soo cold!) and let me have more freedom of movement than just a skirt. Shorts on public transport? No way! Shorts' legs pull up when I sit, and I don't know who was in that seat before or what got spilled/left behind.
Great work on this video Diane. I found myself smiling through many of your habits and recall when I first came to France, I quickly found out some of what I did as the norm, was just not common or even done in France. 😉 I also hadn’t heard of Skil Share before, but this looks really good. I know I’ll find some excellent learning after seeing so many topics. Wow! Looking forward to it!
Thank you! Enjoy the classes!
When we moved to rural Normandy we found that getting anything significant from a shop always took three trips. On the first one you would be told that they don't have that model in stock, but they can order it and it will arrive in "quinze jours". You go back two or three weeks later to find that it hasn't arrived yet. The store owner isn't the least bit surprised because, it turns out, "quinze jours" actually means "at least two weeks but probably longer, who can say?". This is when the store owner offers to phone you when it has arrived. A further two or three weeks later you finally realise that you're not going to get the call and instead you call the store, to be told that the item has been sitting in the shop for two or three weeks. Finally, on your third trip, you become the proud owner of the vacuum cleaner (true story), fax machine (true story), cooker (you get the idea...) with much celebration and excitement on the part of the store owner who is proud to have served you so diligently and takes delight in your new-found joy of ownership.
I've been to France twleve times. Love it! Everything you say sounds totally accurate to me. The only thing I had no idea about was the eggs.
In France it's mostly old lady who start sometime small talk with unknown personnes.
I do it in the UK (I am an old French woman living in the UK!)
"Meal time is sacred", Yes, it is. It should. Food is great, food is love, food is life.
I have been back in the US for 9 years and I still don't do hugs, I find them very uncomfortable. I still have later dinners though. :) Not unusual to eat at 7:30-8:00 which is not comfortable for Americans. I still tend to walk through stores and down the street not smiling and being 'friendly', have a much harder time since being back doing 'small talk'. I miss the 'honest feeling' I get from being in France, around the French who do not smile and be friendly when they don't know you or don't like you, miss the awesome food, listening to the quietness when they speak vs here listening to conversations from across the room. Your videos make me incredibly home sick for France and I am an American. LOL. Guess it was a lot easier to take the US out of me then some others! I do NOT miss though the difficulty of doing every day small things that here are so easy to do.
Not overly smiley behavior that you talked about in the United States, I experienced after I came back from working overseas. Now whenever I’m in a restaurant in the United States, when a waitress or waiter, seems to bound up and be overly friendly and check back way more times than I need, I just want to be left alone with my relative or friend and have a conversation instead of been interrupted three or four times, are you sure you’re OK says the waiter, are you sure the food is delicious? Drives me crazy. !!! But I know that’s what they’re taught to do
Before AC arrived in Toronto people kept all of their doors open and sat on their porches while their kids played together on the street. Now? Someone would call social services and the police if they saw such menacing endangerment.
It’s true some buildings are over-air conditioned but I have allergies, including to grass so I use air-conditioning instead of fresh air. When I visit my parents in Florida I have to double my allergy medication.
(Melanie here) I think an introvert would be more comfortable in France, then :) My parents are from England and I also lived there. I am a British introvert and do feel a little "taken back" with the "overly friendliness" expectation of some people in the U.S. It's hard, though, because sometimes people can interpret that as being uninterested or unfriendly.
Being an introvert in the U.S. is seen as being "less". Extrovertness is definitely pushed. Introversion is seen as a weakness. You're expected to slap on that ridiculous grimace, er, "smile" and talk loud and happy.
@@dsvance1 Is it everywhere in the US ? In France, we are generally more extrovert in the South, and more introvert in the North. In the south, small talk is more common (although not the same way than in the US).
Excellent intercultural approach from Diane anyway !
It's very interesting to hear your list because, apparently I moved to France without realizing it since I have all the same habits. I do hug my friends and family because they would be insulted if I didn't, but I'd rather not hug anyone other than my wife. Peut-être qu'apprendre le français m'a changé plus que je ne le pensais. Non, j'ai toujours été comme ça. Merci pour vos vidéos.
I really like the idea of lingering over a meal, however I'm the only one in my family who would like to do so. Definitely an eat & run mentality around here 15 minutes outside of Manhattan.
I have the same approach to dressing in public and eating meals as French. I usually make and drink my coffee at home. I'd fit in with regards to these, but no small talk would take some getting used to.
As the french who live in US, you described it very well and very politely but the social interactions are completely different. The small talks thing is really something I'm in trouble with.
What is odd with small talk is that a French would think people are wanting to become friend when there are actually not. Little chance you get friend with a daily life joe if you are not from his neighborhood or from the same alma matter.
@@testman9541 I'm used to it now but for sure I knew that the people in front of me didn't try to become my friend and this is why I didn't want to answer to his questions. When you are in front of a cashier you don't want to tell him what is your plan for the evening (the classical, Do you have plan for tonight ? at the supermarket).
@@davidthuilot2159 Yes, this is a practice that started in the U.S. about five years ago. I go to the bank for some business, and the cashier starts asking me about my plans for the week-end. And if I try to side-step the question, it is followed with a more pointed question. I'm not quite willing to be so rude as to tell them it's none of their business, but I always leave irritated. I think next time I'll simply repeat my request -- "I'd like to deposit this check, please" as if maybe she didn't hear me. If she still tries to chat, then "The check", and nudge it toward her. Yes, thank you. This has brought me a solution.
A/C used to be non existent in cars 40 years ago, they're now the norm, same thing with newly built houses and condos south of the Loire river. I live near Avignon we use the A/C between April and October, occasionally.
I was last in Paris for the canicule of 2003. I kept browsing in frozen food stores to get some relief
So, no friendly small talk, but always greet with bonjour. Ok, got it.
I can't stand it when perfect strangers when I walk in the streets mumble " bonjour" without as much as eye contact. I never answer.
we are so weird!!! I apologize for my whole culture!!
Fake enthusiasm is bad but a forced bonjour is okay ?🤔
Yup, I remember those differences from years ago working a few months in France. In addition, I recall my normal American speaking volume seemed louder than the French. Also, ordering a cafe au lait after a certain time was considered a child's drink. But I refused to budge on that one.
I just wanna react to "the coffee to go" : Yes, StarBuck$ is not really a big thing in France, at least not as big as it is in America. I think their coffee is okay, not bad, not good, just okay... and that is the problem : they are not it the coffee-shop retail industry, they are in the Empowerment business, selling the feeling of being someone by paying 6 or 7 bucks for a dime-worth of grind beans.
Curiously enough, I see more and more Cafés and Bistros, selling "coffee to go" in paper cups, well at least in Paris region. there are even jokes about it : un café à emporter ! = 6€ ; bonjour, un café à emporter s'il vous plait = 1.20€ :p
Besides why deal with "Starbucks" barely okay coffee and not all that bad muffins, when you have next to you a good old "Honey & Pie" I dunno for people who are living in the South of France but over here in Northern France , if you want coffee to go you go to Honey & Pie.
I find Starbucks to be overpriced and bitter. It is a last resort for me. I sometimes catch an hour-long ferry to go to the nearby city, and Starbucks is the nearest place (they still aren't selling coffee on the ferry due to Covid). But I'll leave 20 minutes early just to drive to a coffee hut across (my little) town to get a good couple of cups to drink on the ferry.
#3-as far as this goes, I would fit right in lol. I always feel like something is wrong with me because I’m not over the top enthusiastic and that the people around me are louder and over the top excited or happy-I will say hello or good morning, but that’s about it. Must be the French in me. Lol. The hugging thing too, very much not me. Lol.
LOL I'm ahead of the game as I don't do any of these as it is! :) I like your humorous approach. You have a great attitude.
spot on once again; I have had the exact same set of experiences. Bonne Continuation
Same for me leaving in Ireland, I had to lose some of the things I used to do. Faire la bise obviously. 👀 eating from the deli for lunch as the lunch is usually so short and you don't always have the energy anymore to prepare your lunch.. Getting used to being hugged as friendship ☺️
Just remember that Starbucks didn't always exist in the United States either. 25 years ago, it was similar to how you described office coffee in France. Sometimes, a collection was taken to buy better quality coffee, because office coffee was usually bitter.
7:18 I wish this was the case everywhere. South African here, and it’s also very common for people to dress down. Sweatpants are fine, but I draw the line at pjs, slippers and gowns for adults out in public.
11:19 I experienced this in Greece. Someone was greeting me and going in for a kiss - I mistook this for a hug. When I tried to hug her she literally kept leaning back until I gave up 🤣🤣🤣 Awkward.
French eggs are not washed in France when laid by hens, they are processed with dry air which removes bacterias and the absence of moisture prevent bacterias to come back ...
Insightful commentary on life as she is in France! Always spot on and interesting!
on the egg thing, they do not wash the eggs in France which leaves a dry coating on the eggs keeping them mostly air tight. In NA we wash the eggs and thus need to be refrigerated - but tbh that's just to stop salmonella, so if youre cooking stuff it doesn't really matter.
Thank you for another great 👍 video. Personally I prefer the laid back style. Time to enjoy the Joie de Vivre. ❤💐
In The Netherlands for example, not far from France, people have a coffee to go mostly when traveling by train. They by their coffee at a Starbucks at the station or at some other vendor. In the city centre of Utrecht there is also a Starbucks, but I guess when people buy a coffee or tea there they go sit, inside or outside and drink it. Not while walking. People normally just go to a cafe to sit and drink coffee and tea and chat.
I lived in Germany for 10 years, prior to moving to the USA. The Germans are extremely formal, the US, not so much.
The amusing thing I found was acting as a translator. In German the language changes based on the situation, I would never allow a younger person to call me Du (informal you), but insist they call me Sie (formal you). In English I would introduce myself as Peter, in Germany it’s Herr (Mr.) King.
In Germany you’ll rarely hear swear words, instead they will just lay in to you. Instead calling you an incompetent idiot, know nothing, waste of space…… I pointed out my FiL coworker’s mistake to my FiL, he immediately lost all respect in the company, and immediately his promotion chances evaporated.
Maybe it depends on what region in Germany because someone I knew from southern Germany is informal , and she definitely use swearwords at times but apologize for using it accidentally
Love that you are embracing their culture..Not expecting them to adjust to you....I live in Canada...I find some people want us to adjust to them., when they move here...Love your videos.
Love your videos. Thanks!
Btw what does the map on the blue wall represent?
Thank you Diane! I loved hearing about the differences between the US and France. 🇺🇸 ❤ 🇫🇷
You are so welcome!
Don't put eggs in the fridge, (in France), natural eggs DO NOT need to be cooled down as yes there is no artificial barrier, they can las for 15days at room temp.
3:00 or there about] I think the thing I would be *least* willing to relinquish to the French, is my American polite social smile. 'Aux Etats Unis,' almost every day I walk four to six miles on the local pedestrian trail with a polite social smile on my face the whole time, it actually makes me feel happy, it shifts my normal dour mood. Ok, it is also a little fake - a little. If someone passes me the other way, I smile more broadly and say, 'hello' - consciously. A couple of times a week this polite social strategy yields me a truly delightful five or ten minute conversation with one of my fellow citizens - a complete stranger - about a random topic. [the French might not quite understand this] This strategy seems to make everything in my life *better.*
I am also an amateur photographer - landscapes mostly, nature - I walk with a camera. When I'm taking a photo I'm all business; even then people stop to watch what I am doing, ask polite questions, [they are Americans, they feel free to do so - politely] I inform them to the best of my ability. Another delightful conversation, another example of a community being made an actual community - even if I *cannot stand* their politics.
Last September in France walking about half the Chemin du Puy, 'l'autre sense,' from Cahors to Le Puy-en-Velay, I did the exact same thing and it worked - and it worked *really* well. First thing the French, they are so cute, everyone is walking south and you are the *one guy* walking north, they assume immediately that you are lost and ask if you are ok. I immediately launch into my 30 second 'elevator speech' - in French - about how I am walking *towards* Le Puy not towards Santiago de Compostela [like everyone else]. I'm walking in order to bury my late father, with his father in the 'caveau de ma famille la bas.' I did this as many as six times a day. I met *everyone* on the trail, I met thousands of people on the trail, mostly French, [it was the COVID season] some Germans, some Dutch, one or two Americans, one Brit. It was great! It was awesome! I was the one American at the dinner table almost every night for a month. It does not get better than that if you are actually interested in the French. I was interviewed twice on camera by indigenous film makers - in French - telling my little story about me and my dead father. The French were genuinely deeply moved; on their 'randonee' or 'pelerinage' I was one of their peak experiences, I was *that guy* - like in 'le film' carrying his fathers ashes in his 'sac a dos'. One guy I met on the trail for five minutes, where was it? Ah, near Faycelle?? he was practically in tears hearing about *my* dead father and my plan to bury him with *his* father. Wow, you have to think about that. It struck a chord, what was that chord? Don't know.
This is what is possible if you know how to systematically open yourself to strangers. The world awaits. Don't be too French and only open up at all to your closest friends - your fellow citizens deserve some of you too.
The French are coconuts, American are peaches according to Geraldine over at 'Comme Une Francaise' - yeah, kinda. I prefer to be a peach when I can, I meet more nice people that way. If you are an American in France, be an American, just be a little respectful and open - everyone will love you. Worked for me.
It took me a long time to stop being paranoid. I kept carrying all my documents around in a briefcase. It weighed a lot and I was always worried I'd lose everything. But nobody harassed me for documents. They weren't worried about it. The fact that it took me so long to get my identity card scared me. But everything takes a long time here. It's normal.
Being European living in Canada for 30 +years - I totally relate to A LOT of this. I'm still way more Euro than North American :p
Oh my gosh, Diane! I hate small talk. Hate it. It must be the French in me coming through. I’d rather talk about something important or something me or the other person is passionate about. Great list though!!!
Love you! Love from France!!!
Moving to a more rural area in the states I frequently see people in pajamas and slippers. The slippers gross me out.
I love France, you are fortunate..thank-you, good video.
im a native and I enjoy your videos! good work
Awesome! Thank you!
“Overly smiley American” makes me feel personally attacked! Lol 😂
;-)))))))))) I love it but it's just not my norm!
Overly distant people make me run for cover.
it's an othe word for hypocrisy
Yep ! La « pause café » est un réel moment de socialisation. C'est souvent l'occasion d'échanger des idées ou des concepts. La plupart du temps, c'est même lors de ces moments que les problèmes sont résolues, c'est dire l'importance de la chose.
Sur la climatisation, il est vrai que c'est encore « rare ». Mais, tout comme en Grèce il y a quelques années. Mais avec le changement climatique et les vagues de chaleur, il y a fort à parier que, comme en Grèce, la chose se généralise même si les normes en matière d'isolation sont bien plus strictes en Europe qu'aux États-Unis.
Je suis dans Alpes Maritimes et la climatisation est beaucoup plus courante ici, mais on ne l’allume pas toute la journée. 🙂
Yes dinner, I eat a lot later now 8,9 not 5,6. I have wine with lunch and dinner when back in the US ( mostly at home), and I walk a lot more.
It's always very funny to see foreigners and French people alike struggle with the number of cheek kisses, because in Belgium where I live it's always one no matter what (except new year's eve).
The hug part. Laughing out loud right now. Could’ve been worse though
Atleast I learned my lesson right away!
Everything you talk about, wow I’d rather live where you live💜I think you can make a pair of H&M sweatpants quite chic depending on what you wear them with.
all this is very correct. you caught it well girl !
Diane très juste votre remarque : il y a une bonne humeur américaine un peu forcée parfois qui peut être difficile à supporter même pour un américain
Difficile de se plaindre aux usa
Pour nous c’est l’inverse c’est notre sport préféré vous le savez bien 🤩
As an American, I see the cheek kisses way more intimate than a hug. I've had close friends do this to me and makes me feel extremely awkward.
Completely understand!
Yes. I feel the same way. A kiss on the cheek feels more intimate to me than a hug. I've learned to adapt depending on where the person is from but a kiss feels odd. Hugs just feel normal.
I really hate the kisses. Really. A lot.
Your face is the less intimate part of your body. It's more logical to _faire la bise_ than hug someone (and imprison her/him in your arms) ! Almost, you don't kiss everybody, there are social limits.
@@Haazheelt I guess we have different feelings about that. I would never just kiss my friends but happily hug them.
Meanwhile.. I'm watching this while eating my French Green Lentils😉
I miss the French culture. I've reverted back to American ways much to my dismay.
5. Homeless indeed, in towns and cities. In villages most people don't care. My mother's house has a big front and back garden, and is located in a croisement. I - or she - usually to the garden with our pajamas or dressing gown. Same for walking the dog in the street, we do it in jogging and no one really cares.
Thank you Dian very informative. Great video
Funny story about #3. We just had an offer accepted on an apartment in France, and my partner is really really happy. His reaction though? He looked at me almost deadpan and said "I'm thrilled." 😆😆😆 Luckily I know now that that really means he is in fact over the moon. 😂
Hahha exactly. Congrats on the apt!!
@@OuiInFrance Thanks!!
All of the above.. Been here since 2006, I think we dropped the same habits and adopted the French ones..