"5-Minutes With Reekay" channel.. www.youtube.com/@5minuteswithreekay/videos See this week's most interesting comments/questions here.. www.youtube.com/@Lifebeyondthesea/community -- The Only Filipina Dating Site I recommend.. bit.ly/christian-filipina-dating -- For Expat Health Insurance in the Philippines, please contact Michael Onstad at; facebook.com/monstad1 or email at; michael.onstad@loc-consultants.com -- How I send Money to the Philippines.. remit.ly/1amhoix -- Loctote Flak Sack Ⅱ - Anti Theft Backpack.. amzn.to/3tXuBDk -- Get a Quote on Expat Health Insurance.. bit.ly/expat-insurance-LBTSea View My Videos by Category here.. bit.ly/reekays-video-playlists My Twitter.. twitter.com/lifebeyondsea My New Heaven & Earth Podcast Channel. (theology) ruclips.net/user/LATENIGHTWithReekay More at www.lifebeyondthesea.com If you find my content helpful, I appreciate the support. bit.ly/thanks-reekay-lifebeyondthesea Reach me at; facebook.com/reekay.new JOIN as a Member to show your support for the channel! bit.ly/JOIN-Reekays-LifeBeyondTheSea _____________________________________________________________________ This channel contains affiliate links that support the channel at no extra cost to you. Thanks for your support! Some music may be provided by; RUclips Audio Library Wondershare/Filmora Audio Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on audionautix.com
It's a very simple story. By changing the place, you do not change your essence. We carry all our problems and fears with us and within ourselves. Moving doesn't change anything here.
The bad ones are so easy to spot for a native English speaker too. They are not exactly genius liars or manipulators. It’s the scarcity mindset that holds men back in the Philippines. Once you let go of that you are fine over there just like you said really.
Hello Reekay, , The reason you can't understand it is because you weren't raised that way. Your auto pilot has healthy programming. My auto pilot has been fed Toxic, Poisonous programming of the worst kind by very bad parents who had 11 children, and they shouldn't have had 1. I am still having to fight the controls from the auto pilot at 61 years of age. It's like the planes in the news not too far back where the auto pilot would take over and do a nose dive to the ground. I'm sure you must have heard the reports. I believe they were Boeing planes. It's like a daily battle, a tape that is looped in the head. It's been a lifelong battle that has lessoned some but not totally. Obviously I can't drink and allow the auto pilot to take over. After many years of working on myself, I'm a survivor.
I'll be honest: I was Bob when I was there years ago. Maybe not the whole red flag bundle, but more than enough to end it on date 2. Then the crying and repenting came. You said "she'll be on her knees", and I can not only confirm that, but raising it to have her *wrapped around my feet*. Nothing in the West prepared me for that: a pretty girl begging me. And the sunken cost fallacy hit me hard as well, along with the knowledge that I wasn't mentally ready to live there long term. But, lucky me, COVID helped me to end that story. Next year it'll be different. I'll have all the time in the world to make things right, heeding your advice. So, if I've understood correctly, the Hot/Crazy Matrix doesn't apply in the Phillies?
yah, most guys have never been in these situations before... beautiful women asking for 'another chance' after totally cheating or lying, or both. gotta just walk away.
I have a suggestion topic. Relates to my situation. 49 year old GF with a 15 year old boy involved with a gang and drugs a thievery. I am 67 and a part time visitor to her and him. Covid kept me away for 3 years. Was there for three months recently, and observed a change for the worst. After my leaving the PHP's this young man and crew stole a motorcycle from the complex they live in. Has since returned damaged cycle and getting slap on the wrist from police. Amazingly so. Apt. complex has kicked her out now. This rebellious delinquent treats his Mother like a dog. Infuriating to me. No father figure full time is the problem. Anyway, I am curious how other foreigners in relationship such as this, deal with it. To cut and run seams heartless to the GF. Never have seen this topic on YT PHP's before. Thx. Great video by the way! Spot on advice Reekay.
is the kid 15 years old 'now' or 3 years ago? (18 now) if he's still a minor, the mother is stuck with him. which means you can choose to have limited involvement with her to keep drama to a minimum for yourself. but i get it, seeing her suffer due to her reckless kid is hard to bear. if he's 18+ now, and the two of you really want a full-time relationship for the future together.. it's time for some tough-love. which is not an easy sell in the PH where most boys lack discipline. she needs to set him loose to become a man without hiding under her apron. but that means she needs to distance herself as an enabler to his behavior. that's the tough part. if being with you means she'll do it and the two of you live where the kid can't bother your lives, great. but, good luck with selling that to her in the PH. odds are she will continue to 'protect' him from himself even when he's 30 years old and still pulling the same shenanigans or facing prison time. you may have to consider either part-time involvement or making a clean break.
@@Lifebeyondthesea Great advice. He is 15 now. In relationship with this woman for six plus years now. Prison would perhaps wake him up or screw up his mind more. I'm told the victim won't pay to file complaint for the crime so he goes free as a minor. Part time involvement is correct choice. Stress on this woman is not healthy. PS- while I'm writing this I get a messenger call from mother. Son and crew have stolen another motor cycle. 1 AM...unbelievable. Thanks truly for your reply.
Been coming here since 1972 , regular since 1992 and stay here now. I Live alone now , and went throught all that at on time or another.. I did use to say to a girl here in Philippines that I could go out and find another one just like you if you keep another problem.😄
Great advice here. I had a experience with a bad one, it's no second chances or you'll change for me. Just walk away, its true you can meet someone who is good within a few hours. Having the right woman makes the PI a even better place to be and enjoy life.
Scarcity mindset is correct! Giving her 1 chance maybe and verify everything until you double confirm her character as bad! Then let her go! No 2nd or 3rd chance…yeah some actions are deal breakers…
@@Lifebeyondthesea after thinking about it O don't care do much moe about a relationship. I worry more about physically getting out. I have been ______ folks can fill in the blank.
What about those expats that have children with a toxic filipina ???? then how do you get rid of that toxic person ???? and what will happen to the children ?????
getting sole custody as an expat is not likely to happen. here are the options as i see it.. ** stay in the relationship 'for the sake of the kids' and try to lay down some law and order with the wife. it could get ugly. ** leave the physical dwelling, get your own place separately to stay that is in the same city. this way you could visit the kid often and stay in their life... presuming she isn't going to make that difficult. ** the 3rd option, if she becomes toxic and making false allegations is to move to another island and send money for the kid once a month. keep the receipts as proof if needed later. or use Gcash, it keeps a record of transactions. how she spends the child support is on her own head. stick to a set amount with some room for true emergencies or extras, but all on a case by case basis. as a side note; women do not 'become toxic' overnight. they are already like this from years before you met them. it is their personality. this is why you spend a year observing her and getting to know her first. this is why you use contraception if you are intimate with a woman. (or, have a vasectomy.)
@@Lifebeyondthesea thanks. Maybe mentioning that at the beginning of the video would have helped peolpe who were concerned. . Thanks for letting me know.
"5-Minutes With Reekay" channel.. www.youtube.com/@5minuteswithreekay/videos
See this week's most interesting comments/questions here..
www.youtube.com/@Lifebeyondthesea/community
-- The Only Filipina Dating Site I recommend.. bit.ly/christian-filipina-dating
-- For Expat Health Insurance in the Philippines, please contact Michael Onstad at;
facebook.com/monstad1 or email at; michael.onstad@loc-consultants.com
-- How I send Money to the Philippines.. remit.ly/1amhoix
-- Loctote Flak Sack Ⅱ - Anti Theft Backpack.. amzn.to/3tXuBDk
-- Get a Quote on Expat Health Insurance.. bit.ly/expat-insurance-LBTSea
View My Videos by Category here.. bit.ly/reekays-video-playlists
My Twitter.. twitter.com/lifebeyondsea
My New Heaven & Earth Podcast Channel. (theology) ruclips.net/user/LATENIGHTWithReekay
More at www.lifebeyondthesea.com
If you find my content helpful, I appreciate the support.
bit.ly/thanks-reekay-lifebeyondthesea
Reach me at; facebook.com/reekay.new
JOIN as a Member to show your support for the channel!
bit.ly/JOIN-Reekays-LifeBeyondTheSea
_____________________________________________________________________
This channel contains affiliate links that support the channel at no
extra cost to you. Thanks for your support!
Some music may be provided by;
RUclips Audio Library
Wondershare/Filmora Audio
Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on audionautix.com
It's a very simple story. By changing the place, you do not change your essence.
We carry all our problems and fears with us and within ourselves.
Moving doesn't change anything here.
The bad ones are so easy to spot for a native English speaker too. They are not exactly genius liars or manipulators. It’s the scarcity mindset that holds men back in the Philippines. Once you let go of that you are fine over there just like you said really.
Just what I did 3 weeks ago ! 👍
Don't try to fix something which is proven to be half broken already...
Rest your voice, brother 🙏
Hello Reekay, , The reason you can't understand it is because you weren't raised that way. Your auto pilot has healthy programming. My auto pilot has been fed Toxic, Poisonous programming of the worst kind by very bad parents who had 11 children, and they shouldn't have had 1. I am still having to fight the controls from the auto pilot at 61 years of age. It's like the planes in the news not too far back where the auto pilot would take over and do a nose dive to the ground. I'm sure you must have heard the reports. I believe they were Boeing planes. It's like a daily battle, a tape that is looped in the head. It's been a lifelong battle that has lessoned some but not totally. Obviously I can't drink and allow the auto pilot to take over. After many years of working on myself, I'm a survivor.
Sad that we need videos like this! Thanks for the great work you do. I agree with the scarcity mindset. I think I have it.
Open the door and let it go
I'll be honest: I was Bob when I was there years ago. Maybe not the whole red flag bundle, but more than enough to end it on date 2.
Then the crying and repenting came. You said "she'll be on her knees", and I can not only confirm that, but raising it to have her *wrapped around my feet*. Nothing in the West prepared me for that: a pretty girl begging me.
And the sunken cost fallacy hit me hard as well, along with the knowledge that I wasn't mentally ready to live there long term.
But, lucky me, COVID helped me to end that story.
Next year it'll be different. I'll have all the time in the world to make things right, heeding your advice.
So, if I've understood correctly, the Hot/Crazy Matrix doesn't apply in the Phillies?
yah, most guys have never been in these situations before... beautiful women asking for 'another chance' after totally cheating or lying, or both.
gotta just walk away.
I have a suggestion topic. Relates to my situation. 49 year old GF with a 15 year old boy involved with a gang and drugs a thievery. I am 67 and a part time visitor to her and him. Covid kept me away for 3 years. Was there for three months recently, and observed a change for the worst. After my leaving the PHP's this young man and crew stole a motorcycle from the complex they live in. Has since returned damaged cycle and getting slap on the wrist from police. Amazingly so. Apt. complex has kicked her out now. This rebellious delinquent treats his Mother like a dog. Infuriating to me. No father figure full time is the problem. Anyway, I am curious how other foreigners in relationship such as this, deal with it. To cut and run seams heartless to the GF. Never have seen this topic on YT PHP's before. Thx. Great video by the way! Spot on advice Reekay.
is the kid 15 years old 'now' or 3 years ago? (18 now)
if he's still a minor, the mother is stuck with him. which means you can choose to have limited involvement with her to keep drama to a minimum for yourself. but i get it, seeing her suffer due to her reckless kid is hard to bear.
if he's 18+ now, and the two of you really want a full-time relationship for the future together.. it's time for some tough-love. which is not an easy sell in the PH where most boys lack discipline. she needs to set him loose to become a man without hiding under her apron. but that means she needs to distance herself as an enabler to his behavior. that's the tough part.
if being with you means she'll do it and the two of you live where the kid can't bother your lives, great. but, good luck with selling that to her in the PH. odds are she will continue to 'protect' him from himself even when he's 30 years old and still pulling the same shenanigans or facing prison time.
you may have to consider either part-time involvement or making a clean break.
@@Lifebeyondthesea Great advice. He is 15 now. In relationship with this woman for six plus years now. Prison would perhaps wake him up or screw up his mind more. I'm told the victim won't pay to file complaint for the crime so he goes free as a minor. Part time involvement is correct choice. Stress on this woman is not healthy. PS- while I'm writing this I get a messenger call from mother. Son and crew have stolen another motor cycle. 1 AM...unbelievable. Thanks truly for your reply.
Thanks for always being the voice of reason brother.
My pleasure
Bob caught feelings and thought he could fix her
Get some whiskey and lemon for your throat !
The lemon is so you don't enjoy it so much.
Been coming here since 1972 , regular since 1992 and stay here now. I Live alone now , and went throught all that at on time or another.. I did use to say to a girl here in Philippines that I could go out and find another one just like you if you keep another problem.😄
Those are some very scary pictures. ;)
Well said
Great advice here. I had a experience with a bad one, it's no second chances or you'll change for me. Just walk away, its true you can meet someone who is good within a few hours. Having the right woman makes the PI a even better place to be and enjoy life.
Well said!
Scarcity mindset is correct! Giving her 1 chance maybe and verify everything until you double confirm her character as bad! Then let her go! No 2nd or 3rd chance…yeah some actions are deal breakers…
If Bob stays, Bob has just as big of issues as she does. Too many broken men expats heading to Asia without healing their own issues first.
A land of milk and honey.
Hate to admit this to the world but Me feels like i have no where else to go.
nowhere to move to physically, or no options for a new relationship?
@@Lifebeyondthesea both actually
@@Lifebeyondthesea after thinking about it O don't care do much moe about a relationship. I worry more about physically getting out. I have been ______ folks can fill in the blank.
What about those expats that have children with a toxic filipina ???? then how do you get rid of that toxic person ???? and what will happen to the children ?????
getting sole custody as an expat is not likely to happen. here are the options as i see it..
** stay in the relationship 'for the sake of the kids' and try to lay down some law and order with the wife. it could get ugly.
** leave the physical dwelling, get your own place separately to stay that is in the same city. this way you could visit the kid often and stay in their life... presuming she isn't going to make that difficult.
** the 3rd option, if she becomes toxic and making false allegations is to move to another island and send money for the kid once a month. keep the receipts as proof if needed later. or use Gcash, it keeps a record of transactions. how she spends the child support is on her own head. stick to a set amount with some room for true emergencies or extras, but all on a case by case basis.
as a side note; women do not 'become toxic' overnight. they are already like this from years before you met them. it is their personality. this is why you spend a year observing her and getting to know her first. this is why you use contraception if you are intimate with a woman. (or, have a vasectomy.)
Reekay, what happened to your voice? This doesn't even sound like you. Terrible audio!!!
i recorded this earlier, when i had laryngitis.
@@Lifebeyondthesea thanks. Maybe mentioning that at the beginning of the video would have helped peolpe who were concerned. . Thanks for letting me know.