For descriptive can we not go out of the picture and tell little things about the picture and more about whats not in picture (like a part of a complete story)
Hi yes that’s possible. However try to relate to the picture provided. Don’t forget to subscribe, like and share with friends. Plenty more exciting videos on the way!
Hi, I completely appreciate it however I am extremely busy marking my own students responses. However my best tip is to ensure your Q5 has the following: For language: Simile Metaphor Personification Emotive language Alliteration For Structure: One sentence paragraph Zooming in/out Foreshowing Foreboding Cyclical structure Try to use whichever ones are relevant. You don’t have to use all. Please subscribe, like and share to stay up to date with our revision videos! Plenty more on the way!
Hi, make sure it answers the question. Use a range of language and structural techniques. Also ambitious vocabulary! Please subscribe, like and share to stay up to date with our revision videos! Plenty more on the way!
is this good? Abe sat on the pier beneath the mangrove trees and chirrup of birds. He had familiarised himself within the time he was beneath them it was beautiful. The pier itself was not the pinnacle of relaxation he deemed to be early in life; its ecosystem loudly filled the vast emptiness around him. However, it was quite relaxing and his only source of consolation from an otherwise tedious, concerned, distasted hopeless day. He had been waiting for aeons. Abe reached into the pits of his pocket shrouded with darkness and retrieved his phone rescuing it from the comatose isolation it endured. Not long ago, his son bought him a phone to lighten his otherwise companionless life. “Surely”, he thought “surely, he has sent something”, he so hopelessly assumed he could find some sort of contact from the mysterious gentlemen whose fortunes had been pledged to him… Emptiness. Abe was bewildered; he’d assumed that with the experience of his old age that he could never be so deceived and know whom to trust. They had been so genuine at first. Their bond had been immediate with an airspace of jubilance and enthusiasm being patronage wherever they went. Abe promised to rejoice with him again and reinsured that he would be present at a moment’s notice to fulfil his dreams once more by being in his presence. He had never imagined what occurred, upon his arrival, he was greeted by the same despair he felt previously. Emptiness. As he stared into the mould-dampness that plagued the once pearlescent lake, with his distorted reflection mirroring him. He contemplated the past few days (his reflection represented his emotions) Abe understood that there would be no shock arrival. No time to come. No happiness to feel. Emptiness. Abe was consumed with the past choked with nostalgia as he sat there. Abdicated to the pier. Abandonment.
@@jabocig there’s an answer from a student aqa published and it uses the same idea of a person waiting on a bench and it’s even got the same one line paragraph structure ending in abandoned. Your answer is all way too similar with the published answer
Even the “surely but surely” in your answer is directly from the published answer why you tryna pretend you didn’t take any inspiration at the very least?
For descriptive can we not go out of the picture and tell little things about the picture and more about whats not in picture (like a part of a complete story)
Hi yes that’s possible. However try to relate to the picture provided.
Don’t forget to subscribe, like and share with friends.
Plenty more exciting videos on the way!
Hello sir what time will you go live today
Hi, this evening around 8pm. Please subscribe, like and share with your friends!
Is it possible if I could send you my story for P1Q5 and mark it please?
Hi, I completely appreciate it however I am extremely busy marking my own students responses.
However my best tip is to ensure your Q5 has the following:
For language:
Simile
Metaphor
Personification
Emotive language
Alliteration
For Structure:
One sentence paragraph
Zooming in/out
Foreshowing
Foreboding
Cyclical structure
Try to use whichever ones are relevant. You don’t have to use all.
Please subscribe, like and share to stay up to date with our revision videos! Plenty more on the way!
Can I just make a story up?
Hi, make sure it answers the question. Use a range of language and structural techniques.
Also ambitious vocabulary!
Please subscribe, like and share to stay up to date with our revision videos! Plenty more on the way!
First
is this good?
Abe sat on the pier beneath the mangrove trees and chirrup of birds. He had familiarised himself within the time he was beneath them it was beautiful. The pier itself was not the pinnacle of relaxation he deemed to be early in life; its ecosystem loudly filled the vast emptiness around him. However, it was quite relaxing and his only source of consolation from an otherwise tedious, concerned, distasted hopeless day.
He had been waiting for aeons. Abe reached into the pits of his pocket shrouded with darkness and retrieved his phone rescuing it from the comatose isolation it endured. Not long ago, his son bought him a phone to lighten his otherwise companionless life. “Surely”, he thought “surely, he has sent something”, he so hopelessly assumed he could find some sort of contact from the mysterious gentlemen whose fortunes had been pledged to him…
Emptiness.
Abe was bewildered; he’d assumed that with the experience of his old age that he could never be so deceived and know whom to trust. They had been so genuine at first. Their bond had been immediate with an airspace of jubilance and enthusiasm being patronage wherever they went. Abe promised to rejoice with him again and reinsured that he would be present at a moment’s notice to fulfil his dreams once more by being in his presence. He had never imagined what occurred, upon his arrival, he was greeted by the same despair he felt previously.
Emptiness.
As he stared into the mould-dampness that plagued the once pearlescent lake, with his distorted reflection mirroring him. He contemplated the past few days (his reflection represented his emotions) Abe understood that there would be no shock arrival. No time to come. No happiness to feel.
Emptiness.
Abe was consumed with the past choked with nostalgia as he sat there. Abdicated to the pier. Abandonment.
bro you pretty much copied that other answer on abandonment
@@Handell986 what answer?
@@jabocig there’s an answer from a student aqa published and it uses the same idea of a person waiting on a bench and it’s even got the same one line paragraph structure ending in abandoned.
Your answer is all way too similar with the published answer
Even the “surely but surely” in your answer is directly from the published answer why you tryna pretend you didn’t take any inspiration at the very least?
@@Handell986 i have no idea what you're on about. "surely" is a phrase used by many people so your argument is futile and meaningless