Hello everyone! We have started @OvevekuveTv. Kindly join us for the Ovevekuve stories coming out of Nigeria. youtube.com/@ovevekuve?si=mCYUcb3LZxLQppM3 We thank you for your support and love ❤️
Truth nd after helping nd helping they will laugh at you nd begging will never stop. People stop worrying abt people back home put yourself FIRST. THIS LADY IS GOOD
AVOID TOXIC GENEROSITY….:Give once….you elicit appreciation; Give twice…you create appreciation; Give three times….you create expectations; Give four times….it becomes entitlement; Give five times…you establish dependency. Stop giving: you become the enemy.This applies to everything in life. It’s very simple stop enabling your people and focus on yourself…..This is why I always say:TRADITION IS THE ENEMY OF PROGRESS….Food for thought! Be blessed and it is well with you!
@@adeyanjufasan6716 , Well, I guess there is a problem of semantic differentials with the word tradition…I wonder what your definition of “great traditions” are! Read it again!
@@titant2694 ,I guess you can use a simpler version of “toxic generosity”…..Here you go:Teach your folks to carry their own bucket of water, so they may appreciate the value of very drop! I hope it’s simpler enough for you to grasp without”Lol”…..FOPDOODLE.
I was living like that, but when I traveled home, I found out that the people I was killing myself to please are living better than me. They have time to rest, to party, every weekend new aso ebi, they eat well enough wear expensive clothes, before I'll buy clothes, I'll think twice about it. All their problems, feeding, school fees, and rent hospital bills are on my head. When I returned back to base, I realized that I had been making a lot of mistakes and that I had not been taking good care of myself. My mentality changed completely. Now, I'm ready to help those who are putting efforts to succeed
Fantastic! That’s always the thing. You that earn the money will think twice before spending those that don’t have no problem spending it with sense of entitlement
Aisha, I thank you and will thank you again. I was a nobody to most but since I came here from my independent struggle, people are landing me into mental, financial, and above all my health. Incessant headache as there's never a day, 2 or 3 person must call or send account number not even a text for money with every confidence. Oh myself! Unlearn and learn, please. Please, Aisha, if there's a tip on how to learn saying NO, help me and do POST on that 😢. Thanks immensely. This an eye opener
Please, learn to ignore o. Aisha has said it. you cannot help the poor when you are in the grave. A word is enough for the wise. Be wise o.@@nkemdirimiheanacho8764
@@AishaYesufuTV . It was a great lesson to learn. They asked me why I was looking bad. That I should buy a better wig and buy better clothes to wear. They asked me not to go out until I change my looks. After that trip, I cried and promised to care of ME before others. I’ve not stopped giving because it’s in my nature to give but I don’t allow their entitlement nature to weigh me down anymore. I learnt a lesson. God bless you ma. Keep saying the truth.
Most people living in abroad are beginning to wake up. We understand your message. Most people in Nigeria and elsewhere are greedy and heartless especially your family members. Human beings are very difficult to be satisfied. Love from Sydney.
I have been asking my diaspora friends to suspend sending money to their young siblings or friends in Nigeria for at least six months. Only send to perents. By the end of the six months, many of them will come to their senses and face the government. Like Aisha said, our diaspora remittances have made many people unable to confront the government. They don't even care to join protests because they can ask us for money.
I was working really hard when I came here newly and sending money here and there. At present I have borrowed myself sense. I only do my normal shift and go home, when people call I tell them I do not have.
Wow! Very profound. My goodness, I can relate to all the points you made. Watching from US. While I was suffering and helping my nephew at ESUT, he was busy defrauding me. When I questioned him, he told me off and stated that “agbasia agua mail.” Meaning after the race, we would count the miles. Mind you he is younger than all my children. Just as you said, I deprived myself just so I can be of assistance, and to have him say that to me really woke me up. Needless to say that he educated me very well.
This is also the story of life for several decades one. Any family member I entered any type of business or financial assistance arrangement with has massively defrauded me. I was even massively defrauded by close family members when I was financing the burial of my older brother. Yet, I'm the "wicked" one.
@@ositadinmaodiligaba4893 Ndi Igbo have this saying “Ozuni zucha onwe nwa, nwe nwa. Meaning after you have trained someone else’s child, he still remains his father’s. God loves you and that why you will always be ahead.
This is really sad my dear. May God help us all. I was doing 3 jobs so I can help. Infact I have brought my brother and his family here and 3 other people are still coming by end of this year. Others are still counting on us to bring them over. I must tell you It's not easy. Imagine Sacrificing without appreciation.
I am grateful for my parents and siblings, they have never pressured me. My siblings are hard workers and have done well for themselves back in Nigeria. The only people who tried to pressure me with demands were friends and acquaintances, I had to advise myself and avoid them instantly.
Well said Aisha. Majority of people in diaspora are sacrificial lambs for their family. Many work day & night for many of their families to live good in Nigeria, and eventually degenerate and some even have stokes or die in the process. Many are now learning from others people’s mistakes. Great message
I know what u re saying dear Aisha, 15 years ago i left Nigeria i nearly developed Bp from demands and stories from families and friends. I continued struggling to meet their demands until i sat down for introspection, then i realized the ppl i am losing my sleep for are living better, then i withdrew to look after myself. Since then, i have peace, though i omly help when i want and when the need comes. Some of them were angry with me that they stopped calling. I can say i know better now. Thanks for the advice
At this stage too 4 years on.. and how dare you even try to explain to them that you also have bills, problems and targets 😅?? It's baffling, but also a relief when someone deletes my number just because I said "sorry, I don't have".
@@AigbeAustin Is abroad heaven? You make it sound like once people get abroad they automatically become self-sufficient. This is the entitlement mentality that puts people off
I just love the fact that your love for Nigeria, Nigerians and folks like us who have dependents back home is pure, sincere, true and real. Thank you Mama Yesufu.
@abinadabagbo1603 Every Nigerian or African in the diaspora has numerous such stories. Believe you me, if we all start sharing our experiences, Nollywood, Bollywood, and Hollywood combined would be flooded with movie scripts containing our war stories.
RUclips just brought this up. I'm reading a book " Super Helper Syndrome" just to protect myself from those demanding family members and even friends here abroad. My empathy and willingness to help people has made me almost develop a Super Helper Syndrome. God has opened my eyes and showed me that I'm helping the wrong people. I still like to donate to the less privileged people and I used to have a sponsor child in Ghana for years. Now I will be getting another in any country God leads me. I've not spoken to my family in Nigeria for 2 years, because when I do which I will soon. I will ask them: Did you die without me ? 😊 They were all acting as if they will die if I don't give. Me after 25 years in Europe I'm going from one vacation to another just to pamper myself. Sitting at the beach playing my favourite music ❤
Same here, Nigerian in the United States for 32 yrs, I was 24 when I immigrated and started working and schooling within one month of arrival. All I did was sent them money, money, money, money back home. I’ve cut down and started taking vacations to relax. I’ve visited 5 countries so far and I’m going to 2 Asian countries in early December. My first ever cruise is coming in June 2025. Yes, I’ve a couple of orphans I sponsor
@@zeezeebo Very proud of you 🤗You are doing the right thing. God bless you and keep you safe !! I left Nigeria when I was barely 18 years old. Greetings from Andalusia Spain. But I live in Germany ♥️✌️
Thank you for that title " Super Helper Syndrome". I just got a copy from the county library. I just buried a cousin who died of cancer all the while bankrolling unappreciative family members back home. In death they did not contribute a cent but are sitting demanding for bounty distribution.
I once gave a friend 10k naira and that money came to him after my rent was paid in the USA 🇺🇸, we all know how it goes and his response was "thanks for the token" I felt insulted, only if he knew I sacrificed to give him that... since then I turned back and faced my front...
God bless you. You hit the nail on the head. Nothing wrong with helping but people back home need to roll their sleeves and work. Before you keep sending money to an adult ask him what he is doing for himself.
Wise counsel as always. Thanks Aisha, You're absolutely right. I wish many more of the diasporans would have the opportunity to listen to this kind advice and learn. It's truly tempting and tedious for them abroad. Bills to pay , families back home at their own health risks.
I think our parents are actually the problem as most of us are just trying to please them by helping out those who are draining us. I can remember telling my mum that I want to cut off my siblings dependency on me but she always comes up with this story of how the one that managed to succeed has to carry the rest. Then my question is if I keep doing this and one day I could no longer, who do they turn to for help? Why can't they learn to help themselves? Helping people back home is NOT in fact, a help. We have turned them into lazy beggars. And if we do not break off from them, we will either be dragged back into poverty or be carried off in a body bag. I think that most of us in the diaspora are shedding the same tears and having realized what our problems are, most of us are ready to break that yoke into freedom and peace. Pray for us.
A few years ago we lost a brother here in the UK, he worked a night shift, got home slept and never woke up. He left a young child behind. Like you said, his family back in Nigeria have moved on. This is a lesson to the rest of us.
And the sad part of this, some of the people you are sending money to in Nigeria are building houses & hiding it from you so that you don’t stop sending money to pay for their kids university education. One of my brothers has 2 houses and yet I get called for school fees, medical bills, this & that. I have reduced what I send home drastically.
My dear sister what you said is the truth. I have learned to say I don't have. Sometimes I don't even sleep just to make more money to send back home. After I came back from vacation, I decided to maintain my full time job because I had 3 jobs for this same reason. All my life I have put myself Last and put others first. Something in me told me this year to take care of yourself. I can help but not to my detriment.
Just yesterday, I composed the message below because I was fed up with the pressure people back home put on me. I wanted to post it on my WhatsApp status, but I've still not found the courage to do so: " Please, forgive me if you have asked me for a favour and I couldn't come through. I'm not stingy; it's just a matter of perspective. From your point, you see yourself as an individual, whereas from my point of view, you are only part of a long list."
You owe no one explanation. It's better to just do what you want than making unnecessary statement that evil entitled people will hold against you. Just be persistent in telling them no, you're having difficulty meeting with your own bills, and they won't come back again.
I once posted something similar to this on my WhatsApp. I wrote that while you are calculating in your head that Mr.X works at Shell or lives in US, so he must have money to give, there are 20 people thinking like you about Mr.X and no one has the money to cater to everyone.
Most of us in Nigeria are very selfish. Our people don’t know how hard our family members work overseas and still have little left for themselves after sending money back home and after paying rent, taxes, fuel, food, sometimes parking tickets/seized vehicle because they parked somewhere illegal especially in a downtown area of their city and fell asleep. I’ve lived in both Nigeria and diaspora. As a Nigerian living in Nigeria, I don’t ask my family members for free money and I won’t lie to them to get money. Maturity is more important to me because I grow that way. With that said, if I ever need money from any of my family or friends overseas, I MUST pay them back with interest. I’m not joking. Unless they want to give me for free. Even when the money is free, I know the limit I can take. When you get free money every time, it makes one entitled after sometime. Entitlement is terrible. My overseas Nigerian people, please ask your dependents in Nigeria to pay back or add value to your life by running errands for you back home then you can help them. If they make excuses why they cannot help you, then don’t help them. It’s as simple as that.
@@shadowman6262, now I prefer to ask an outsider for help and pay them for their time and services rather than asking them for help because they will over bill me, cheat me and still demand for help and not satisfied. I’m done with their way of life
Thank you Aisha for your words of wisdom, I’m based in the UK for over 42 years and I have always behaved like “I before others” and family extended members waged wars against me because wasn’t ready to kill my self for them when I know that they were doing very well even better I was when was working my fingers to the bones. I appreciate all that you said and I hope our people in the diaspora listen and take it on.👍❤️you are a⭐️
Life is complicated. It's a shame that African leaders have no shame. Otherwise with all the insults they get from Western leaders like Putin calling Africa a cemetery for rich Africans they would have been annoyed enough to want to fix their countries!
This is the most annoying part of the whole situation. They feel so entitled, you’ll send someone money they won’t even bother to call and acknowledge the receipt until you call them then they’ll give one flimsy excuse about not having data to call meanwhile they have collected two to three hundred thousand naira you have just sent to them. even your so call friends. It is exhausting . “A word should be enough for the wise”
HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU HELPED, AS A PERSON OVER SEAS, SOME OF US DON'T DO YOUR MILLION TIMES SHIFT, BUT WE STILL HELP PEOPLE SO, SO MUCH BETTER. TELL ME, HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU PAID THERE SCHOOL FEES, FROM SECONDARY TO UNIVERSITY, HOW MANY DO YOU PAY HOUSE RENT FOR, HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE IN YOUR MONTHLY PAY ROLL, BOTH YOUR RELATIONS AND NON RELATIONS. ALL THIS I DO HERE AND I AM NOT POOR OR BEGING FOOD AND AM NOT COMPLAINING.
That's what i have been dealing with for the last 17 years i left Nigerian to the US. And they feel entitled and talk crab about you when they ask and you said you don't have they forget the good stuff you have done for them. When i say am sick and still working to help they will think you lieing i have put all full stop to it and don't care what you say about me it don't change me.
Don't think I have ever subscribed to any youtuber, but this advice made me do it. One greatest piece of advice that really touched me. Thanks a lot for this.
Beyond wisdom 🙌 Thank you so much, my sister, for this wonderful advice that some of us needed to hear. I supported some of my siblings for more than 10 years, helping with their children's tuition and annual rent . I put them in a monthly payroll, and those siblings get so comfortable they don't want to help themselves. I cut them off to start putting more money into my retirement savings. I am 57 now, and most of my earnings went to family support. Once again, thank you so much.
I was born in UK and have seen Nigerians send money home for years. After all the billions of £ sent to Nigeria how has it developed Nigeria? I dont care about Nigeria at all any more. The only time Nigerians showcany concern for me is when they need money. I remember the time when my parents vwere struggling here especially my mother because my dad would take all her money and send it to his family. When my father died much of his family didnt even call us to express condolences.
Thanks so much madam Aisha... this is a recurring experience in the UK, where i reside... it's sometimes the "pressure", from back home, alongside the meeting up of bills to be paid... it's, so pathetic,that, some went into loans to getting down here...I, hope and pray,that these family members understand the true situation... Thanks for speaking for us...May Allah (SAW), continue to endow you and your family...
You said it all , that’s why I love your show very much, I live in the USA for many years and I know very well what you’re saying, may the Lord God almighty bless you and your family in Jesus Christ name amen.
Very profound to our day to day and experiences from family members and friends back home in Nigeria. They own cars when some of us in diaspora don't any. We move about by city buses and trains. God bless you Aisha.
Thank you ma, I'm not in the diaspora but I stole from this message. I cannot help my family when I'm in the grave. I need to pulse, take a rest, make some savings for the future of the same family I'm dying for as a struggling guy. Thank you again.
Thank you my sister for this wonderful pot cast. I quite understand what you said. I’m a Nigerian woman in Canada.I have been practicing what you said.I used my head and strength properly for the fifty years lived in Canada.I gave my children good education and looked after my self. and helped a bit of my relatives .Nigerians listen to to this lady,you can not go to your grave with money or cars.When you die the people you helped will forget you that is if they have not even forgotten you while you are still living.
Thank you Ma, your caption from RUclips made me watch this and also my first time watching your videos. You gained a subscriber today. In fact, my sister was recently in Nigeria and was showing me our people and how they're are all relaxed and looking healthy and living their lives without stress. This has been our discussion for the past few days. That made us sit down and think about ourselves over here. We are now learning to slow down with work and stress. Driving cars and living in good houses. Imagine they all look well and live better than us living here in Europe. Sadly, we can't even go to shops and buy what we want over here. The truth is that once you live abroad, they see you as a milking machine. Even at their comfortability they still look at you to send or give them money or any way to extort from you once they learn you came from abroad. This their mentality need to change. I have more sad stories about family members in my mouth, but I will end it here 🥵
It's just like you spoke to me directly Madam Aisha. May God bless you for reminding us what's necessary. I know it's not easy to implement, but I will have to try. Yeah, I know I have seen you once in ABDN before.
To those living abroad,deaf ears is the trend and facing your front to achieve more in terms of degrees and skill will help,leave iya shukurah for now she will be already.Thank aisha for such lovely piece of information.
Aisha I really want to thank you for all you have been doing for Nigeria and your advice for us in diaspora and may God Almighty continue to protect and bless you as long as you are alive. We have learned our lesson about the people back home .
The Japa are those who are desperate to bring back money home to buy houses to impress. But those who have been abroad for over ten years don't overwhelm themselves with work.
Thank you. Real truth. Those out doing themselves want to get rich quick. Also some have debts to pay. Its not about sending money back home to relatives
Excellent advice; thanks for sharing. You have a new subscriber. The Nigerian mentality and extended family dependency are dragging us down; people have become lazy and focusless.
Thank you. I am glad my mum has people she can trust and our family live well, and now there are things to show for it, but honestly as her child, the day she can go back to Nigeria and enjoy her sacrifices I’d be happy. No need to suffer in the U.K. without a full support system.
Aisha this is a good counsel to those in diaspora,I wish Nigeria recognize your worth and make you a Nigeria Ambassador or minister of foreign affairs in Nigeria God bless you from Bishop Dr Frank. Imrana Ojehunme (JP Ph.D.) in Benin
Thank you for this words of wisdom. Those who are receiving the help cannot tell their relatives in diaspora this encouraging words. Aisha Yesufu, thank you. May my God bless you and your generations yet unborn for speaking and standing on truth. Thank you.
Aii this your message is 💯 % accurate.I'm a kenyan but in diaspora, that's what my ppl from home have been milking me dry with no appreciation plus nobody cares to know how im faring as long as they get dollars from me .
Great message. I use to be so much a victim of this, my elder cousin schooled me on this. Getting back to Nigeria, I realized that the people are only loyal to what they collect. I am wiser now.
Thank you. It's more about meeting up in the UK than what they send home. Some are trying to build houses back home and not about anyone sensing money home
Hello everyone! We have started @OvevekuveTv. Kindly join us for the Ovevekuve stories coming out of Nigeria.
youtube.com/@ovevekuve?si=mCYUcb3LZxLQppM3
We thank you for your support and love ❤️
This is not for only Nigerians but all Africans in the diaspora.
True
✅ 🚀 ❤ 😎 💜 👉Well articulated
Truth nd after helping nd helping they will laugh at you nd begging will never stop. People stop worrying abt people back home put yourself FIRST. THIS LADY IS GOOD
@@tombimashri8149 Well said
AVOID TOXIC GENEROSITY….:Give once….you elicit appreciation; Give twice…you create appreciation; Give three times….you create expectations; Give four times….it becomes entitlement; Give five times…you establish dependency. Stop giving: you become the enemy.This applies to everything in life. It’s very simple stop enabling your people and focus on yourself…..This is why I always say:TRADITION IS THE ENEMY OF PROGRESS….Food for thought! Be blessed and it is well with you!
I learnt this a long time ago.
Great traditions boost progress..many of them are the foundation of today’s successful countries and companies….
@@adeyanjufasan6716 , Well, I guess there is a problem of semantic differentials with the word tradition…I wonder what your definition of “great traditions” are! Read it again!
lol 😂 @ toxic generosity
@@titant2694 ,I guess you can use a simpler version of “toxic generosity”…..Here you go:Teach your folks to carry their own bucket of water, so they may appreciate the value of very drop! I hope it’s simpler enough for you to grasp without”Lol”…..FOPDOODLE.
I was living like that, but when I traveled home, I found out that the people I was killing myself to please are living better than me. They have time to rest, to party, every weekend new aso ebi, they eat well enough wear expensive clothes, before I'll buy clothes, I'll think twice about it. All their problems, feeding, school fees, and rent hospital bills are on my head. When I returned back to base, I realized that I had been making a lot of mistakes and that I had not been taking good care of myself. My mentality changed completely. Now, I'm ready to help those who are putting efforts to succeed
Fantastic! That’s always the thing. You that earn the money will think twice before spending those that don’t have no problem spending it with sense of entitlement
Aisha, I thank you and will thank you again. I was a nobody to most but since I came here from my independent struggle, people are landing me into mental, financial, and above all my health. Incessant headache as there's never a day, 2 or 3 person must call or send account number not even a text for money with every confidence. Oh myself! Unlearn and learn, please.
Please, Aisha, if there's a tip on how to learn saying NO, help me and do POST on that 😢.
Thanks immensely. This an eye opener
Please, learn to ignore o. Aisha has said it. you cannot help the poor when you are in the grave. A word is enough for the wise. Be wise o.@@nkemdirimiheanacho8764
@@AishaYesufuTV . It was a great lesson to learn. They asked me why I was looking bad. That I should buy a better wig and buy better clothes to wear. They asked me not to go out until I change my looks. After that trip, I cried and promised to care of ME before others. I’ve not stopped giving because it’s in my nature to give but I don’t allow their entitlement nature to weigh me down anymore. I learnt a lesson. God bless you ma. Keep saying the truth.
How can I give you a hug. My dear eh, after working years eh, I started asking where is my savings? After tax return omo, I gave myself sense
Completely agree!......Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
Quote of the century.
Most people living in abroad are beginning to wake up. We understand your message. Most people in Nigeria and elsewhere are greedy and heartless especially your family members. Human beings are very difficult to be satisfied. Love from Sydney.
Yes my dear, you are absolutely right. I woke up, and I am staying woke for real.
I have been asking my diaspora friends to suspend sending money to their young siblings or friends in Nigeria for at least six months. Only send to perents. By the end of the six months, many of them will come to their senses and face the government. Like Aisha said, our diaspora remittances have made many people unable to confront the government. They don't even care to join protests because they can ask us for money.
Some parents are even worse than siblings. They use their children as their retirement plan and then it’s like nothing you give them is enough
@a.p4066 you are right.
@@a.p4066understandable. I will for parents, especially my mum
@@timipereallison2647 Thx I will try that
I like the way you link the lack of desire to protest to the subject matter
I was working really hard when I came here newly and sending money here and there. At present I have borrowed myself sense. I only do my normal shift and go home, when people call I tell them I do not have.
Very simple 🤝🏾
Good for you.
Thank you Aisha
Thanks,hard talk
Seriously 😢 I borrowed myself sense too 😢😢 I'm only given my mother 😒 🤔 😒
Wow! Very profound. My goodness, I can relate to all the points you made. Watching from US. While I was suffering and helping my nephew at ESUT, he was busy defrauding me. When I questioned him, he told me off and stated that “agbasia agua mail.” Meaning after the race, we would count the miles. Mind you he is younger than all my children. Just as you said, I deprived myself just so I can be of assistance, and to have him say that to me really woke me up. Needless to say that he educated me very well.
This is also the story of life for several decades one. Any family member I entered any type of business or financial assistance arrangement with has massively defrauded me. I was even massively defrauded by close family members when I was financing the burial of my older brother.
Yet, I'm the "wicked" one.
@@ositadinmaodiligaba4893
Ndi Igbo have this saying “Ozuni zucha onwe nwa, nwe nwa. Meaning after you have trained someone else’s child, he still remains his father’s.
God loves you and that why you will always be ahead.
This is really sad my dear. May God help us all. I was doing 3 jobs so I can help. Infact I have brought my brother and his family here and 3 other people are still coming by end of this year. Others are still counting on us to bring them over. I must tell you It's not easy. Imagine Sacrificing without appreciation.
@@Miminawewe7 yes my dear, I have heard the saying especially from one of my aunts. I claim your blessing in Jesus name. Amen!!!
😊@@Miminawewe7
I am grateful for my parents and siblings, they have never pressured me. My siblings are hard workers and have done well for themselves back in Nigeria. The only people who tried to pressure me with demands were friends and acquaintances, I had to advise myself and avoid them instantly.
Lucky you, i wish i could say the same.
Same here. My family never pressured me it’s friends and acquaintances and some times cousins.
Well said Aisha. Majority of people in diaspora are sacrificial lambs for their family. Many work day & night for many of their families to live good in Nigeria, and eventually degenerate and some even have stokes or die in the process. Many are now learning from others people’s mistakes. Great message
You cannot help the poor by being in the grave. You nailed it all.
He who have ears - let him/her hear - bitter raw factual truth !
The message is not only for Nigerians my sister. Its for almost ALL Africans in diaspora.
I know what u re saying dear Aisha, 15 years ago i left Nigeria i nearly developed Bp from demands and stories from families and friends. I continued struggling to meet their demands until i sat down for introspection, then i realized the ppl i am losing my sleep for are living better, then i withdrew to look after myself. Since then, i have peace, though i omly help when i want and when the need comes.
Some of them were angry with me that they stopped calling.
I can say i know better now.
Thanks for the advice
At this stage too 4 years on..
and how dare you even try to explain to them that you also have bills, problems and targets 😅??
It's baffling, but also a relief when someone deletes my number just because I said "sorry, I don't have".
@@AigbeAustin please explain more sir you're making a point
@@AigbeAustin
Is abroad heaven? You make it sound like once people get abroad they automatically become self-sufficient. This is the entitlement mentality that puts people off
I just love the fact that your love for Nigeria, Nigerians and folks like us who have dependents back home is pure, sincere, true and real. Thank you Mama Yesufu.
What a great message. Nigerians in diaspora will do well to take this message seriously. Thank you 🙏🏾
Yes, It feels like she is forecasting and warning us as a true mother would.
Nagode Mama na. You can't help the poor by becoming poor. And you can't help the poor by being in the grave! Words on marble!
I have many stories to back your point,as I mentioned before, you are one of the most brilliant Nigerians.
Stay blessed.
Please tell us one or two from the stories. Such stories can be very educative.
@abinadabagbo1603 Every Nigerian or African in the diaspora has numerous such stories. Believe you me, if we all start sharing our experiences, Nollywood, Bollywood, and Hollywood combined would be flooded with movie scripts containing our war stories.
@@kene6753 😂
RUclips just brought this up. I'm reading a book " Super Helper Syndrome" just to protect myself from those demanding family members and even friends here abroad. My empathy and willingness to help people has made me almost develop a Super Helper Syndrome. God has opened my eyes and showed me that I'm helping the wrong people. I still like to donate to the less privileged people and I used to have a sponsor child in Ghana for years. Now I will be getting another in any country God leads me. I've not spoken to my family in Nigeria for 2 years, because when I do which I will soon. I will ask them: Did you die without me ? 😊 They were all acting as if they will die if I don't give. Me after 25 years in Europe I'm going from one vacation to another just to pamper myself. Sitting at the beach playing my favourite music ❤
Same here, Nigerian in the United States for 32 yrs, I was 24 when I immigrated and started working and schooling within one month of arrival. All I did was sent them money, money, money, money back home. I’ve cut down and started taking vacations to relax. I’ve visited 5 countries so far and I’m going to 2 Asian countries in early December. My first ever cruise is coming in June 2025. Yes, I’ve a couple of orphans I sponsor
@@zeezeebo Very proud of you 🤗You are doing the right thing. God bless you and keep you safe !! I left Nigeria when I was barely 18 years old. Greetings from Andalusia Spain. But I live in Germany ♥️✌️
Way to go
Thank you for that title " Super Helper Syndrome". I just got a copy from the county library. I just buried a cousin who died of cancer all the while bankrolling unappreciative family members back home. In death they did not contribute a cent but are sitting demanding for bounty distribution.
@@hartgodson9863 My dear I'm so sorry...We are all learning a big lesson 🧡🙏
I once gave a friend 10k naira and that money came to him after my rent was paid in the USA 🇺🇸, we all know how it goes and his response was "thanks for the token" I felt insulted, only if he knew I sacrificed to give him that... since then I turned back and faced my front...
What did you do for heating?
I’m truly emotional at how this priced Jewel of a sister Aisha has schooled all of us. Thank you so much darling. Remain blessed.🙏🙏🙏🙏
God bless you. You hit the nail on the head. Nothing wrong with helping but people back home need to roll their sleeves and work. Before you keep sending money to an adult ask him what he is doing for himself.
Wise counsel as always. Thanks Aisha, You're absolutely right. I wish many more of the diasporans would have the opportunity to listen to this kind advice and learn. It's truly tempting and tedious for them abroad. Bills to pay , families back home at their own health risks.
I do out of town job, 14 days on and 7 days off, on my days off I do nothing, and I don't do 2 jobs anymore...
You get sense.
I think our parents are actually the problem as most of us are just trying to please them by helping out those who are draining us. I can remember telling my mum that I want to cut off my siblings dependency on me but she always comes up with this story of how the one that managed to succeed has to carry the rest. Then my question is if I keep doing this and one day I could no longer, who do they turn to for help? Why can't they learn to help themselves?
Helping people back home is NOT in fact, a help. We have turned them into lazy beggars. And if we do not break off from them, we will either be dragged back into poverty or be carried off in a body bag.
I think that most of us in the diaspora are shedding the same tears and having realized what our problems are, most of us are ready to break that yoke into freedom and peace. Pray for us.
A few years ago we lost a brother here in the UK, he worked a night shift, got home slept and never woke up. He left a young child behind. Like you said, his family back in Nigeria have moved on. This is a lesson to the rest of us.
@@AigbeAustin if is easy run nam
@AigbeAustin this your emotional blackmail will not work in this time and forward. Lazy people everywhere
@@AigbeAustinYou are one of those beggars
@@AigbeAustinlike you have bought a cup of gari and given it to your relatives abroad. . 😂😂😂😂
@@AigbeAustin Do you live in the UK? Do you know the cost of living? Who has time to club?
And the sad part of this, some of the people you are sending money to in Nigeria are building houses & hiding it from you so that you don’t stop sending money to pay for their kids university education. One of my brothers has 2 houses and yet I get called for school fees, medical bills, this & that. I have reduced what I send home drastically.
Very true.
Thank you Aisha for putting this out here. You have saved a soul.
My dear sister what you said is the truth. I have learned to say I don't have. Sometimes I don't even sleep just to make more money to send back home. After I came back from vacation, I decided to maintain my full time job because I had 3 jobs for this same reason. All my life I have put myself Last and put others first. Something in me told me this year to take care of yourself. I can help but not to my detriment.
If you die or get bed ridden they will find a way to survive. Please care for yourself.
It’s hard but hell. Block anyone trying to put pressure on you and thank me later. That’s the best therapy you can give yourself. They will be alright
😂🤣😂
Well said!. I've been doing it & I don't waste time in blocking anyone. My health & peace of mind first before any other thing.
That it's what I do often. I only pick one child from each of my sibling and pay there school fees .Any other demands/pressure block.😮
Thank you madam Aisha, Nigerians need to stand up and these criminals destroying Nigeria accountable.
Just yesterday, I composed the message below because I was fed up with the pressure people back home put on me. I wanted to post it on my WhatsApp status, but I've still not found the courage to do so:
" Please, forgive me if you have asked me for a favour and I couldn't come through. I'm not stingy; it's just a matter of perspective. From your point, you see yourself as an individual, whereas from my point of view, you are only part of a long list."
You owe no one explanation.
It's better to just do what you want than making unnecessary statement that evil entitled people will hold against you.
Just be persistent in telling them no, you're having difficulty meeting with your own bills, and they won't come back again.
Receive courage to post it. It’s your life, your strength, your money.
Expect emotional blackmail. Be ready to stand your ground and not feel guilty. Remain polite to them, but firm. I've been there.
Very long list of people demanding.
I once posted something similar to this on my WhatsApp. I wrote that while you are calculating in your head that Mr.X works at Shell or lives in US, so he must have money to give, there are 20 people thinking like you about Mr.X and no one has the money to cater to everyone.
Most of us in Nigeria are very selfish. Our people don’t know how hard our family members work overseas and still have little left for themselves after sending money back home and after paying rent, taxes, fuel, food, sometimes parking tickets/seized vehicle because they parked somewhere illegal especially in a downtown area of their city and fell asleep. I’ve lived in both Nigeria and diaspora. As a Nigerian living in Nigeria, I don’t ask my family members for free money and I won’t lie to them to get money. Maturity is more important to me because I grow that way. With that said, if I ever need money from any of my family or friends overseas, I MUST pay them back with interest. I’m not joking. Unless they want to give me for free. Even when the money is free, I know the limit I can take. When you get free money every time, it makes one entitled after sometime. Entitlement is terrible. My overseas Nigerian people, please ask your dependents in Nigeria to pay back or add value to your life by running errands for you back home then you can help them. If they make excuses why they cannot help you, then don’t help them. It’s as simple as that.
@@shadowman6262, now I prefer to ask an outsider for help and pay them for their time and services rather than asking them for help because they will over bill me, cheat me and still demand for help and not satisfied. I’m done with their way of life
Thank you Aisha for your words of wisdom, I’m based in the UK for over 42 years and I have always behaved like “I before others” and family extended members waged wars against me because wasn’t ready to kill my self for them when I know that they were doing very well even better I was when was working my fingers to the bones. I appreciate all that you said and I hope our people in the diaspora listen and take it on.👍❤️you are a⭐️
Absolutely! Thank you Aisha, you hit the nail right on the head
Life is complicated. It's a shame that African leaders have no shame. Otherwise with all the insults they get from Western leaders like Putin calling Africa a cemetery for rich Africans they would have been annoyed enough to want to fix their countries!
Is it not the same Nigerians that are voting for them
E no go better for the bad leaders.
The patriotic citizens have relinquished power into the hands of a cabal of thieves, so what do you expect?
The sad part of this is that, the very people you helping don’t even appreciate it.
This is the most annoying part of the whole situation. They feel so entitled, you’ll send someone money they won’t even bother to call and acknowledge the receipt until you call them then they’ll give one flimsy excuse about not having data to call meanwhile they have collected two to three hundred thousand naira you have just sent to them. even your so call friends. It is exhausting . “A word should be enough for the wise”
as in
They don't, if you send money you will be the one to ask if money received, ohh yes received
Thank you sis.
Well spoken ! Well articulated! Well communicated ! Thanks for the advice . We appreciate and celebrate you
Thank you, Aisha. I listened to this while on night shift, losing sleep so as to help others, I have to think twice
HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU HELPED, AS A PERSON OVER SEAS, SOME OF US DON'T DO YOUR MILLION TIMES SHIFT, BUT WE STILL HELP PEOPLE SO, SO MUCH BETTER. TELL ME, HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU PAID THERE SCHOOL FEES, FROM SECONDARY TO UNIVERSITY, HOW MANY DO YOU PAY HOUSE RENT FOR, HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE IN YOUR MONTHLY PAY ROLL, BOTH YOUR RELATIONS AND NON RELATIONS. ALL THIS I DO HERE AND I AM NOT POOR OR BEGING FOOD AND AM NOT COMPLAINING.
That's what i have been dealing with for the last 17 years i left Nigerian to the US. And they feel entitled and talk crab about you when they ask and you said you don't have they forget the good stuff you have done for them. When i say am sick and still working to help they will think you lieing i have put all full stop to it and don't care what you say about me it don't change me.
Free yourself. Freedom is the value of love we give to ourselves
Don't think I have ever subscribed to any youtuber, but this advice made me do it. One greatest piece of advice that really touched me. Thanks a lot for this.
Beyond wisdom 🙌
Thank you so much, my sister, for this wonderful advice that some of us needed to hear. I supported some of my siblings for more than 10 years, helping with their children's tuition and annual rent . I put them in a monthly payroll, and those siblings get so comfortable they don't want to help themselves. I cut them off to start putting more money into my retirement savings.
I am 57 now, and most of my earnings went to family support.
Once again, thank you so much.
Givers need to set a limit because takers haven't got limit. They will continue to ask till thy kingdom comes!
I was born in UK and have seen Nigerians send money home for years. After all the billions of £ sent to Nigeria how has it developed Nigeria? I dont care about Nigeria at all any more. The only time Nigerians showcany concern for me is when they need money. I remember the time when my parents vwere struggling here especially my mother because my dad would take all her money and send it to his family. When my father died much of his family didnt even call us to express condolences.
Imagine honestly our people back home are should i say wicked, that how they are.
@@ifeifesi since I learnt to say NO, many stopped calling.
Thanks so much madam Aisha... this is a recurring experience in the UK, where i reside... it's sometimes the "pressure", from back home, alongside the meeting up of bills to be paid... it's, so pathetic,that, some went into loans to getting down here...I, hope and pray,that these family members understand the true situation... Thanks for speaking for us...May Allah (SAW), continue to endow you and your family...
Always make sense.... Much appreciated and loved🌹
You said it all , that’s why I love your show very much, I live in the USA for many years and I know very well what you’re saying, may the Lord God almighty bless you and your family in Jesus Christ name amen.
You are a good mother. God bless you. This is so emotional
You can not help the poor while in the grave. Great point
Aisha is almost always on point. Well done
The BEST VIDEO LESSON OF THE CENTURY ❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉
THANK YOU JESUS
Very profound to our day to day and experiences from family members and friends back home in Nigeria. They own cars when some of us in diaspora don't any. We move about by city buses and trains. God bless you Aisha.
Thank you ma, I'm not in the diaspora but I stole from this message.
I cannot help my family when I'm in the grave. I need to pulse, take a rest, make some savings for the future of the same family I'm dying for as a struggling guy.
Thank you again.
There's a greater joy in giving than in receiving. But only the living can give. Those that are dead cannot give!
Thank you very much for this message. Someone was counting my years. I have learnt a lot. Thanks
God bless you ma, you are always on point. I will leave to see when you will be our minister of finance.
What a wise talk of s high time we as a collective start holding our government responsible I swear
Thank you my sister for this wonderful pot cast. I quite understand what you said. I’m a Nigerian woman in Canada.I have been practicing what you said.I used my head and strength properly for the fifty years lived in Canada.I gave my children good education and looked after my self. and helped a bit of my relatives .Nigerians listen to to this lady,you can not go to your grave with money or cars.When you die the people you helped will forget you that is if they have not even forgotten you while you are still living.
Thanks for the advice, but please increase the volume of the video in the future
You nailed this. Exactly what is happened to me.thank you for this advice
Thank you Ma, your caption from RUclips made me watch this and also my first time watching your videos. You gained a subscriber today. In fact, my sister was recently in Nigeria and was showing me our people and how they're are all relaxed and looking healthy and living their lives without stress. This has been our discussion for the past few days. That made us sit down and think about ourselves over here. We are now learning to slow down with work and stress. Driving cars and living in good houses. Imagine they all look well and live better than us living here in Europe. Sadly, we can't even go to shops and buy what we want over here. The truth is that once you live abroad, they see you as a milking machine. Even at their comfortability they still look at you to send or give them money or any way to extort from you once they learn you came from abroad. This their mentality need to change. I have more sad stories about family members in my mouth, but I will end it here 🥵
It's just like you spoke to me directly Madam Aisha. May God bless you for reminding us what's necessary. I know it's not easy to implement, but I will have to try.
Yeah, I know I have seen you once in ABDN before.
Aishaaaa! Thank you so much. You are really a sister, a blessing. God bless you.
Free advice but worth billions. Thanks
God bless you my dear sister, you just said it all
To those living abroad,deaf ears is the trend and facing your front to achieve more in terms of degrees and skill will help,leave iya shukurah for now she will be already.Thank aisha for such lovely piece of information.
Very well said. Thank you. I have learnt to say NO with ease
Louder...Louder...Louder....Don't overextend yourself for anybody ooo. Live your life.
You are so true my lovely sister I'm one of those people you are telling this, but I will stop. God bless you.
Aisha I really want to thank you for all you have been doing for Nigeria and your advice for us in diaspora and may God Almighty continue to protect and bless you as long as you are alive. We have learned our lesson about the people back home .
Aisha you got this right 100%. Ypur advice is well taken . God bless
Thank you ma for this message this is all I needed to hear
Madam Aisha thank you very much for this great advise may God bless you richly.
The Japa are those who are desperate to bring back money home to buy houses to impress. But those who have been abroad for over ten years don't overwhelm themselves with work.
This is not true
Thank you. Real truth. Those out doing themselves want to get rich quick. Also some have debts to pay. Its not about sending money back home to relatives
Timely message Ma'am, God bless you for your show of love.
Excellent advice; thanks for sharing. You have a new subscriber. The Nigerian mentality and extended family dependency are dragging us down; people have become lazy and focusless.
Thank you. I am glad my mum has people she can trust and our family live well, and now there are things to show for it, but honestly as her child, the day she can go back to Nigeria and enjoy her sacrifices I’d be happy. No need to suffer in the U.K. without a full support system.
Thanks. What a powerful advice 👏 God bless you and increase you more in wisdom 🙏
Aisha this is a good counsel to those in diaspora,I wish Nigeria recognize your worth and make you a Nigeria Ambassador or minister of foreign affairs in Nigeria God bless you from Bishop Dr Frank. Imrana Ojehunme (JP Ph.D.) in Benin
Aisha Yusuf, God bless you for this wonderful advice. I wish our people would work with that.
A word is enough for the wise.
Thanks for making this video, Madam Aisha. What a great wisdom! May Allah increase His blessings upon u. Truly delivered. 😅
Thank you for this words of wisdom. Those who are receiving the help cannot tell their relatives in diaspora this encouraging words. Aisha Yesufu, thank you. May my God bless you and your generations yet unborn for speaking and standing on truth. Thank you.
Thankyou my Great Sister - As usual you come out with true realistic talk. True advice and very apt. God bless you
Ma...thank you so much for this great cousel..much ❤❤
Aisha you're an angel. God bless you. The message is clear, well delivered and received by me.
Aii this your message is 💯 % accurate.I'm a kenyan but in diaspora, that's what my ppl from home have been milking me dry with no appreciation plus nobody cares to know how im faring as long as they get dollars from me .
The bitter truth 😢
Thank you, sister, for sharing this truth . Much love ❤
Aisha I love you sooo much! Thanks immensely for THIS admonition 👍💝
Thanks mama! He that has ears to hear, let him hear! God bless you
Good video. I never knew you were so full of wisdom.
Thanks!
Thank you so much
Words of wisdom, thank you madam people need this advice to learn hear and fo with it
Madam Aisha thank you multiple times for your wonderful advice to us.
I really appreciate this message.
God bless you richly.
U are right.
Am just waking up now after many years.
Great message. I use to be so much a victim of this, my elder cousin schooled me on this.
Getting back to Nigeria, I realized that the people are only loyal to what they collect.
I am wiser now.
Their need in diaspora is way greater than the need back home...
Thank you. It's more about meeting up in the UK than what they send home. Some are trying to build houses back home and not about anyone sensing money home
Thank you amazing woman. You're a blessing to this generation and you said it all
Chaiii! I completely agree.. May God help us
My dear sister, you are very correct. 'Never give anybody your right arm for it is the instrument of your survival.'