What’s the DUMBEST thing a player rolled for and Succeeded? #1
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- Опубликовано: 16 сен 2024
- ► What’s the DUMBEST thing a player rolled for and Succeeded? #1◄
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Развлечения
Player: I attempt to seduce the queen.
DM: As she is setting up for your execution?
Player: What I have got to lose?
DM: True...
One coronation later..
I mean hey, the worst thing that can happen is that the execution gets carried out, yeah?
I had a guy who seduced a boss mid battle by successfully getting 3 nat 20s in a row, the boss was fucking married
@@a.lgaster360 same as me. But instead mid battle. My friend seduced the boss right when we meet it. The thing is, he offer his offspring with the boss to his party because he said it'll make our bond stronger. Like dude, you were marrying the boss the game is over already.
@@rizalalbar lol I got lucky at least it wasnt the main villian I'm sorry
Player here! This is one of my favorites!
*during a dungeon*
Player: “can we roll to make the npc think we’re all figments of his imagination?”
DM: “...sure?”
We succeeded, then later
Same player: “Can I make him think I’m the embodiment of his father’s disappointment in him?”
DM: “whAt?! WHY?! * sigh * roll for it”
Successful roll
So that’s the story of how we got our son Timothy
I love this so much
This is why i want to play D&D but I dont know how to play, people says its easy like "just roll for something and if its a good roll you good" but I saw the characters sheets, i know that shit isnt easy
@@Asdafafda if I may ask, how old are you? I’ve been a DM since I was in my teens (currently 23) and could help you with setting up a character and we could even work out a time to run a pan online one shot spot introduce you to the game :) I normally play in person but have run games over discord with my friends due to Covid
@@Asdafafda reason why I asked your age is just because online you never know someone’s age and what’s appropriate or not and it’s just better to be safe then sorry
@@ZBTFilms I am 15 and thanks, usually when i say i dont know how to play the people just ignore me and doesn't help so thanks
One of my players: "I want to shoot a the sky and see what falls off" Rolls a 100 on a d100. A kidnapped pegasus falls along with his kidnapper. Now the party have a pegasus who helps them.
Wait wha-
Nice
Um-
reminds me of a story where someone got the "wild magic" effect "a unicorn appears" three times in a row, so the GM let them make the unicorn a permanent party member.
Absolutely incredible luck. God I love this gamd
I once rolled a nat 20 on persuade to finger wag a ghost out of trying to possess me. The ghost stopped and started to cry while apologizing because I had made them feel like absolute trash
Dafuq?
You know what this remind of? Napstablook
Could’ve used the disappointed dad glare for extra effect.
No psychic damage?
My younger sister rolled a 20 to sheer a sheep.
She sheered that sheep so well that five other sheep nearby dropped their wool the moment she finished sheering that one
😄😄😄
That amazing
They were scared
Nice
Im sorry but what game is this games name
I replaced a guards spine with a stick by getting a nat 20 on medicine. The guard lived.
Congratulations, you reinvented scarecrows too.
Forbidden scarecrow
That is, until he bends over.
@@bencenagy5459 lolol
Yeah… no. It seems unreasonable just because you roll a 1/20 chance on a dice you get to break all rules of biology.
The "yell at god" feat is absolutely priceless
I came to the video for copper and I found GOLD.
who liked this past 420?
I hate them
I'm just gonna yoink that. XD
And i quote "yell at god" is it like HEY F*CKER DO IT AGAIN, or is it like HEY PLEASE DO THE THING AGAIN, PLEASE?
@@AedilOnline option one definitely
I had a player who's pet dog had saved the princess from two dire bears. They rolled diplomacy to convince her father that the dog warranted the same reward she'd get if she was any of the base races. They succeeded. Now the dog is nobility with the title of Lady Kelsaang of Glitterstone Keep, with all the land grants that implies.
My God I love this! XD
"they rolled to convince the father that the dog deserved the same reward as any base race"
AS IT SHOULD!
I was DM’ing for my younger brother and his friend, because they wanted to try dnd. Both of them are relatively new to it, so I did a practice one shot with them to give them a feel for the game. During said session, my brothers friend asks if he can summon Shrek. I look him dead in the eye and said why not. He rolled a natural 20. I had Shrek smite them into oblivion out of frustration.
Shrek: GET OUT OF MY SWAMP!! *all star blasts them into oblivion*
Would've said, no. Try a dragon.
We had a player whose God was Donkey from Shrek, no regrets
I can imagine Dark Souls music playing when he’s summoned. He then shouts in a deep and dark tone “GET OUT OF ME SWAMP!” Before lightning bolts surround him.
I rolled a nat 20 to move hidden down a street in broad daylight but rolled a nat 1 on move silently.... it was described to be like an invisible one-man-band
Now that’s some funny shit
"invisible one-man-band" is the best phrase i've heard all week
A jacked gnome wizard rolled to intimidate a dragon by ripping of his shirt and flexing. He rolled something crazy like a 30 and scared the crap out of the dragon.
Try to a kobold and he is gonna get stabed as fear of not the hate is grater
Reminds me of that "I am a motherfucker" gnome
"I don't know how that tiny thing got BEEFY... but I want NONE OF IT!"
XD
What’s funnier is that i imagine it being a volcano dragon.
@@kingderper928 I stole a popes soul with a 31 sleight of hand check
To hug an ancient blue dragon. She got a nat20 plus her +3. Another time, someone else rolled to keep a baby owlbear, he rolled at Nat 20, the mother owlbear rolled a nat 1 on perception. We still have the baby owlbear, his name is Honk.
I too had my players encounter an owlbear and it's child all the way back in my first campaign three years ago. Upon seeing the baby, they killed the mother and took the little one for themselves. Since an owlbear is half owl and half bear, they did not know wether it would be called a chick or a cub, so they called him chub. Chub was probbably their favorite NPC in that entire campaign.
@@johnciolli7086 you killed it?
I hope Honk is okay to this day
What happened with the dragon
I rolled 2 nat 20's in a row to seduce a bandit with soup
I like to imagine it was Golum seducing the man with soup now.
Can you give more details? Because that’s hilarious
lmao
if you got soup you shouldnt even need to roll
Lol 😂🤣🤣
This happened to me yesterday. Im a life cleric who's background is sailor. Im not religious just really superstitious. If we ever visit an inn, bar, pub, ect i will get absolutely smashed and get disadvantages on everything because im mad drunk. So one time while we were waiting for the enemy scouts to come looking for our employer we were kicking it at the bar. I decided since i had time to kill and i was a sailor i would take my kits 50ft of rope and make a hammock with it. My dm ruled it be a slight of hand (dex) check. Dex is my dump stat. As in my dex is 6. I rolled a nat 20. So somehow in my drunken stupor over 6 hours i made a hammock and tied to to some posts in the corner. Got in it and just kind of binge drank grog and rum while humming sea chanties to myself. I also heard a ghost singing in elvish about how the next town over was totally destroyed and ours was next. I was the only person who understood elvish. Decided i was too drunk to really care or get it and just ordered more grog and rum. Eventually the enemies showed up. They were pirates. My teammates were handling it well enough so i just kept drinking in my hammock. Eventually one of the pirates got too close to my hammock so i got up and hit him the head with my mace. I rolled double nat 20s with disadvantage. I then rolled max damage. He died in one it. I just downed my rum, healed my injured teammate, looted the pirates of all their rum, got back in my hammock and went to sleep
That's the biggest power move of all time
*WHY’S ALL THE RUM GONE?!*
@orianthehunter oh yeah. It gets better. The party member who keeps dealing damage to fellow party members pushed me out of bed before getting my full rest and started some crap so i didnt get my spell slots back. Straight up told him i will not heal him even if hes dying for the next day. I have spare the dying. So i wont let him die but hes not waking up if i can help it.
Also as a side note. Since i am drunk when i take notes as a player i make a constitution check. If i get 12 or higher i can take my notes. If i get 8-12 i take notes but erase every 3rd word. And 8 or less i dont take notes.
Basically simulating my characters ability to write while drunk. So the idea is how slurred his writing is.
Im a literate drunk sailor and our monk is an illiterate scholar. Idk whats going on anymore XD
@@ODST626 I was in one campaign where many of the characters took ranks in drinking.
Artificer rolled too invent anti depressants best part is it came up later in the story.
hehe
Artificer rolled to mix a game breaking superchemical from real life.
Lights everything on fire even organics brick metal and glass unless magical and the fire cannot be put out except via magical means even though the fire itself isn’t magical just an extremely violent oxidation chemical reaction(100 fire damage)
Eats through everything like super acid (100 acid damage)
Produces chlorine gas as a byproduct of reacting (basically cloudkill gets added to the unquenchable fire after one round of burning)
Water makes it explode (forget how much force damage the dm said)
Nothsa Rekcap basically super magical napalm?
@Guest User #something kinda it burns just as hot but It’s also a lot worse cause it can’t be put out and lights even nonflammable material on fire just on contact, even though it’s not magical in nature.
ruclips.net/video/ckSoDW2-wrc/видео.html
It’s the first chemical on this list^^^
I once rolled for a fart, got a nat 1... i dont wanna talk about it.
My bard once accidentally adopted a young goddess by convincing the new voice in her head that they were definitely friends and that there is no-one you can trust more than a friend 😂😂
Dafuq?!
thats based
Rolled a 20 throwing a knife at a block of wood. My character was arguing with a blacksmith, saying the knives were unbalanced (trying to get a better price). It landed directly in the center and split the block in half.
Well ya failed lol but he may have just let ya takw it for a bargin seeing that you had the skills like that
@@lechking941 task failed succesfuly
@@budowniczypylonow7026 yep that is indeed the case. hell i may have had one of them moments. just cant remember it for my life
Sorceror: Hey cleric boy. Start praying.
Cleric: What?
Sorceror: Did I stutter? I got a god to scream at.
Cleric: What the heav-
*Angry heretic noises*
69 oOh sPoOkYyyy
Barbarian: "I want to throw myself up the hill."
Lol.
DM: this will require 3 crits, are you shere you wish to try fate for if any fail your going like the others as any under is a crit fail for this
It’s not physically possible. Easy no.
@@TeensierPython tell that to spiderman simply take some kind of strong but flexible material tie it off to two rocks stretch it to the breaking point then let it slingshot you up the hill.
HA jokes on you i already did that
Not me, but in a friend’s campaign they rolled to seduce a magic door.
The bard failed, but the Druid succeeded. They received a home brew effect called “love is an open door”.
I just happened to roll a nat 20 to scoop up somebody's tears in my current campaign. I'm playing an off the walls homebrew subclass of artificer (a cook) and she is by far my favorite character I've ever played.
reminds me of a scene in "the adventure zone" where the Cleric seduces a poisonous plant that's blocking the entrance to a building...
the Fighter looks like he's going to be sick, the wizard is literally ROTFLHAO!
@@ericb3157"love is an open door " why does that sound like something from disiny oh wait
Love is an open door?
My friend, you got me dying of laughter! XD
Hombrew rules by a friend.
My party had a draugr warrior. Basicly a melee zombie. The essence of murderhobo.
In one adventure, we had to take the helmet of a boss before defeating the boss. The helmet held a dangerous spirit empiwering the boss, so we could not kill the boss or damage the helmet.
All of my party failed to grab the helnet multiple times. My charcter somehow impaled his own foot.
Then the draugr managed to grab the helmet. The dm said to the draugr player: the spirit speaks to you, role for mental fortitude.
The rest of our party was in cold sweat, as we were low on health, tge draugr had the highest combat stats and basicly no mental fortitude. Were he to be posessed by the helmet and be empowered by it, he would be more powerfull than the actual boss.
He rolled a nat 20 and could resist the helmet. He stated "i don't negotiate with communists" and put the helmet in his bag. He was that special kind of undead.
So your friend was playing an american?
@@Firan25 no. He was as close to a nazi-zombie as the setting allowed. An american would say "deal" instead of "negotiate"
@@Chrisspru I was more or less talking about the one liner.
I only hear an american saying something like that.
Then pulling an a-10 warthog out of his ass, alongside an american flag, and bald eagles. :p
"Death is a preferable alternative, to communism!"
You know, if you wanted to play as Liberty Prime, there is the "Warforged" race...
@@Reishadowen the whole system and setting are hombrew. the whole fantasy world too.
This friend is writing a comic and uses this comic universe as a basis for a pnp system, and tests concepts in the pnp if he is unsure about canon implementation.
so, warforged are not a playble race. Gembiters (a race of sentient stone golems created by wild magical discharges in suitable rock formations) is probably the closest in function to a warforged.
I rolled a nat 20 in perception to accidentally see an elfgirl's underwear.
Sure... accidentally.
I see this as an absolute win
Anime protagonist levels of luck.
Context please...;)
@@icerres1067 We were fighting a bunch of rogues, and this NPC elf girl was levitating 2 meters above the ground to shoot magic missile, every time someone went near her, she tightened her skirt, at some point she was almost surrounded and i used my action to grab her by the ankle and carry her like a baloon to the exit, because i grabbed her by surprise the DM told me to roll perception to watch under her skirt, nat fucking 20, so my warforged discovered a new feeling that day, the girl doesn't know what happened yet.
Geezer here....
Saw another player "waste" a nat 20...
On the "most perfect of all roasted marshmallow"......
Yep it was a gnome.
Game on.
that is NOT wasted
@@9miles4way In this case it truly was... The "treat" was intended to be a bribe/token to get the party past a potential combat. Turns out it was not a fan of sweets. Gnome could have used that 20 on his next roll. As it turned out he went down the first round... Failed a saving throw verses breath weapon... We got him resurrected and gave him the nick name Mr. Crispy for the rest of the summer.
Someone in our group went to buy pizza, rolled a nat 20 for how good it was, and used it to break the wills of guards the party couldn't get b
Past
@@mattb4072 Awesome Sause
If the knome wasted it on something that would set the ticking bomb that is kobolds well boom.
I once played a ninja in service to an emporer. The emporers birthday came around and we all were asked what jutsu we have developed in the last year.
I told him that I have developed a special technique for his birthday in hopes that I could redeem myself for my failed magic act at his last birthday. I performed my "birthday cake no jutsu" which previously was not on my sheet.
The dm says "ok, you know what? Roll it"
I rolled a nat 20. After that I added the ability to my sheet.
I rolled, literally just now, to succeed at a fake Australian accent to keep my identity a secret. I rolled a 19+1 (20). So everyone in the city believes my character is an Aussie.
Australia doesn't exist...
@@thatoneotheridiot3361 Oh shit. You right! So I pretended I didn't exist.🤣
@@thatoneotheridiot3361 great rp dude.
@@thatoneotheridiot3361 he rolled a 19, youre supposed to believe the accent
@@thatoneotheridiot3361 which btw he said fake australian so...
"Yell at gods" is one of the best things I've heard in awhile.
The rest of the party: *looking through the big ass treasury we found*
Paladin: hey look through that desk and read whatever is in it
Me (a Pirate): uhhh ok
Dm: you walk to the desk and find a letter with a wax seal and it’s addressed to you
Me: my character can’t read
Dm: I-
Sorcerer: Ooo what’cha got there
Me: I try to pretend to know what it says
Dm: why don’t you just tell them you don’t know what it says??
Me: I know they’re going to make fun of me
Dm: you know what fine. Roll a insight-
Me: nat 20
Dm: (sigh)
Dm: you perfectly depict what it says despite you not being able to read
Perfect
he must have watched a lot of theatrical plays to the point he could figure out adventure tropes like that. y'know like watching soo much TV?
This one is amazing
That's some Violet Evergarden writing... He read THE SPIRIT of the letter! XD
🤣
One time, we were trying to gain access to a tower guarded by a wizard who only allowed guests on Sundays (it was Wednesday in game). I rolled to convince him it was Sunday and succeeded
why did I laugh at this-
Thiss wizard be like:
"no its wednesday"
"its actually sunday"
" *Understandable have a great day* "
Was playing a bard with a dump of strength, and for shits and giggles, I rolled to arm-wrestle some cave troll. Got a nat 20 and the cave troll Actually broke down sobbing
The DM should have paused the game for a few minutes to come up with the improbable series of events that led to you winning. 😁
Bards are scary when strength is high just saying far scarier then pure charisma or hybrid.
A paladin who made it his mission, to help a innocent village girl overcome her deadly drug addiction.. long story short... the Paladin got addicted instead lol
F
Task failed successfully.
"Does it taste... evil?" Nat 20. Yes, it's incredibly evil. I don't have know arcana or anything ueful like that but it was just such a random/dumb idea it broke the GM for a second.
"I cast suggestion on the dragon" Nat 20 "fly as high as you can then stop" - Dragon flies up as high as it can, stops and drops, flies up again before it hits the floor - for about 8 hours, it's PISSED when it finds us again
it would have been funny if you had it fly as high as it could and then fly underneath the mountain.
I wanna know more about the evil tasting thing
Not entirely related to the topic, but I wanted to share it anyway
On one Valentine’s Day, my friends and I decided to do a round of DND
In the middle of the game, one of my friends (who’s character is a paladin), said he wanted to marry my other friend’s character, who was a ranger
We all thought he was joking, so I told him to go ahead and roll the dice, and he rolled a perfect 20
I narrated that the paladin and the ranger characters had a perfect spring wedding surrounded by the beauty of nature in all its splendor
Our cleric was the ranger’s maid of honor and our wizard was the paladin’s best man
We all laughed at our friend’s supposed 'joke', but in a shocking turn of events, he got on his knees and proposed to the ranger’s player
He told her that he has been thinking on proposing to her for a while now, but wanted it to be as unique as possible
So, he decided to use their favorite game, since they have many fond memories of it together and it’s actually what got them together in the first place
My friend tearfully accepted, and we all cheered for the newlywed couple, both in-game and in real life
This is the most wholesome thing I’ve read in the past 5 months
@@Alpha-yh8wq Thanks man! Really appreciate it
A person in my party rolled to find another party member (They were a Grung and it was meant to be a little teambuilding thing as they tried to find him), they rolled a nat 20, they just sniffed the air, ripped open a nearby sewer grate, and pulled the other guy out, it was the persons first EVER roll in D&D.
I wish them to have for ever more fruitful rolls as that team builder was good
Here is mine:
So our party had split up cuz of story stuffs, i had to climb a cliff to get an egg at the top, and the DM gave me 2 options: go around the back of the cliff to make the journey easier than climbing up a sheer cliff face, or climb up the cliff face. What he failed to mention was that these eggs belong to a VOLCANO DRAGON, of which was just out of sight from the bottom of the cliff face. Of course, using my intuition i deduced that the mother was likely nearby, and that the moment that i get up there, i would probably get eaten. So, being one the custom races that the DM made , a fire giant, i did what any fire giant would OBVIOUSLY do.
I rolled for intimidation on the mountain.
Keep in mind, intimidation was my main stat, it was powerful enough to the point where i have killed some enemies just by rolling intimidation alone.
Lo and behold, nat 20.
Before the DM said anything, i could hear him audibly sigh, loud enough to make me wonder wether or not this was a good idea.
He then proceeded to say that the mountain quivered in fear, causing an egg to fall down the mountain, landing right next to me.
But it doesn’t end there! Oh no, it keeps going.
He also said that the dragon saw that one of its eggs had fallen off, and looked over the side of the cliff at me, and naturally came after me.
What happened next is the most glorious thing ever.
The DM proceeded to say, and i quote “Not wanting to anger you further, the mountain gets up and sits on the dragon”
😂😂😂😂 Best fucking moment ever 👌👌👌👌
This is amazing🤣
A player in my Pathfinder campaign was a gnomish oracle named Agda Jarvick who worshipped a being of his own creation: The Red God.
At one point early in the campaign, the party came across a river in heavy rains, and Agda decided now was a good time to uncollapse his collapsible bathtub, flip it over, and just wait out the rain while the rest of the party figured out what to do. While they were deliberating a couple of perception checks brought to the party's attention that a flash flood was coming, overflowing the riverbank they were standing on, so the party scrambled to reach higher ground.
Well, everyone except Agda Jarvick.
He had a saying: "The Red God provides!" He was so steadfast in his faith that he believed his deity would save him from anything, so long as he maintained faith, adhered to the tenets he made up, and spread the "teachings." To that point, he had swallowed bog muck, drank the ashes of his fallen foes, and eaten unknown plants, passing his fortitude saves every time.
So on that riverbank with a veritable tsunami coming at him, Agda Jarvick stayed under that tub, and by The Red God, he survived.
From that day forward, our IRL group believed in the power of The Red God.
Praise be to the red God
@@josephleece682 The Red God provides!
@@SamWeltzin we must go forth and spread the teachings. After I understand them
@@josephleece682 If you actually want to know what the player wrote, I just dug up the old document with the "teachings." lol
Warning: Wall of text ahead.
The Red God, the God of Fire, the Burned One. These are the teachings and tenants of the Red God.
He is the only true god and all others are false gods. The false gods are just beings of immense power but are not truly divine and those that follow them are foolish indeed.
He brings the sun into the sky each day and warms the world and brings forth life. He did not create the world, but he warms it and sustains its life. He gave the world fire so that all beings may be able to stay warm and use it to sustain their lives.
He chooses prophets to spread his word and they may act as the Red God himself may act. They may punish/reward in accordance with the Red God's teaching and their own judgment if necessary. Those who do good and are just shall be rewarded, but those who are wicked and evil must be punished.
Those who do evil will be purified of their sins through fire. (Murder is punished by killing the accused in one-on-one combat and then burning the murderer's whole body. If they are innocent, they will remain unscathed. Stealing is punished by burning the thief's hand in order to scar them as a thief. Adultery is punished by burning the sex organs of the adulterers. (The same goes for rape and other wicked sexual acts) Attacking or otherwise harming an innocent is punished by one-on-one combat with a champion or prophet of the Red God. The punishment of all other wicked deeds shall be determined by a Prophet or Champion of the Red God. After the offender has been purified through flame, the Red God is sated (as a sacrifice of flesh has been made) and the offender is free to go (if they still live).
Attacking or otherwise impeding a Champion or Prophet of the Red God or those he or she travels with is the same as doing such to the Red God himself and those doing so must be punished accordingly.
The corpses of those that are punished and die must be burned as a sacrifice of flesh to the Red God.
The fate of a Prophet or Champion of the Red God is predetermined. All that happens to them is the Red God's will. All other have free will and will not be bothered by the Red God except that all must listen to the testimony of his Prophets. If a being chooses to not at least listen to a Prophet, they must be punished for their insolence.
The Red God does not force anyone to believe in him (until the afterlife, for then there is no choice) but only asks that his prophets be heard and that they remain unmolested and that all people live good and just lives free of evil and sin.
The Red God is the final judge in the afterlife. If you follow the teachings of the Red God or have led a just life you shall be judged worthy and be forever in a warm, comfortable paradise with the Red God that is neither too hot or too cold. There, you shall be free of pain and will have all that is needed or wanted. There, you shall be most happy to follow and praise the Red God. But, if you have followed false gods and led a wicked life then you shall be judged unworthy and spend eternity being sacrificed for your wickedness to the Red God. Your flesh shall be burned from your bones day after day, hour after hour for all eternity in atonement for your sins.
@@SamWeltzin i can't believe you found this you absolute madlad. Truly a follower deserving of the warmth of our lord
in the late 80's,i was DM in an overpowered campaign lasting for almost 2 years...1 of the players drank 3 potions in a row...with a huge grin, i informed him of the possible consequences of this action. instead of rolling the results myself, i let him roll...i watched him roll D10 twice...he rolled 100%,giving him permanent flying(according to the 2nd edition rules for drinking 2 potions)...DAMN!!not what i was lookin for at all...ok he drank 3 potions, so another % roll on the chart applies...yup! he rolled another 100%...there were 5 people in the room jumping, and laughing and high fiving ,and me, staring in complete disbelief...4 zeros on a D10 in a row. the result? permanent D8 healing...on a mage...overpowered
Not sure if Dumb, but the one that comes to mind is when I played a small campaign with a few college friends I had met back up with.
We were low lvl, needed to acquire some merchant’s ledger for some reason, and needed to get past some sentries at his estate. The bard decided to try to cast sleep on the sentries, so he stealthed up ahead of the group. It was at this point that the player looked at his sheet, cursed under his breath, then sat in silence for about half a second.
Then with a grin bard looked at GM and started singing. (We were all theatre geeks, so freestyle songs were not uncommon) I wish I could remember the lyrics, but it went along the lines of “go to sleep, close your eyes, go to sleep, you don’t have to die” in a soft baritone, climaxing with “your wives and your daughters will thank you to not die. Just go to sleep. Let us pass by” Then with the same grin, the bard said I roll intimidation. 20.
As my fighter passed the seemingly asleep guards, a perception let me see they were fully awake, but faking sleep, with one actually silent sobbing. This started the in game realization that the Bard was the scariest man my fighter knew.
TLDR: Bard forgot he picked another spell over “sleep” and instead intimidates a contingent of sentries into fanning sleep with a horrifying song that musically could fit in Mary Poppins
This was during a cyberpunk session but, we were about to drive across some train tracks and I wanted to mess around a bit so I asked “roll for train?” One of the party members died in a train wreck lol
Task failed successfully.
A Bit of Context:
So My players were in the starting town, and decided to go meet the new head wizard ahead of schedule, at the wizard's home. The Party knocked on the door, and no one was responding, so our Chaotic Elven Druid says, "I want to stare through the window." Me, as the DM, said for them to roll charisma for it. 18. "Allright, you get the attention of the wizard." Player: "I want to wink at him." Nat 20. The wizard, being insane, invites the players in, all because our druid stared through his window, and winked at him.
Wizard: "you charming sonuvabitch...WELCOME TO MY HOME! Bring yer friends"
The choked out dragon reminded me of the time I choked out a dragon with my dead plate armored paladin corpse. I reminded the DM as it swallowed me whole that I had invested in spiked plate, and the dragon proceeded to roll very poorly to cough me up/breathe. Best death I've ever had. 😆
... and that, kids, is why you chew your food properly
A player in a campaign I was in had a dagger that applied a bleed effect through an enchantment to targets, but that also required the attack to be sufficiently well aimed to activate. I think the DC was 15? So, he used it on a massive wooden wall erected by goblins and ogres. On the outskirts of a mining town we were trying to save, that they had time to erect and FULLY fortify because we took so long to get there. We kept getting sidetracked by, a seemingly innocuous hut, or, a faint metallic glimmer in a tree. So, guy turns to the DM and says I want to use my the bleed effect on my dagger to dry out the wood to make it easier to burn." A short friendly argument later and he did. Because the dm forgot to include that the enchantment on the dagger only worked on living targets. And we burnt that wooden fortress of a wall down. The dagger later made, skeletons, air elementals, and stone golems bleed. (Stone golems bleed magic mud btw, I don't remember what we did with that though.) Amongst many others. Ever bottle lich blood? I have. That game was fun. I use that enchantment in games I run now. Exactly like it was. In memory of the friends that parted ways IRL, and to see how creative my players will get with a such a simple effect. Make the rivers bleed. Make the mountain bleed. Become, the Blood God!
That’s awesome. Kudos to that player for thinking out-of-the-box!
This is why when a dm fergets things and it becomes so perfict of a thing it's a permanent alter to the status effect is just wonder full. Now I'm gonna ask who ever dms a game that will hold my theroised kobold artificer (aka trap maker in lore who decided to start making more complicated traps but need to learn how from a out side source as her mind can rattle but not that good) so I have have like a simple dagger from her home that was taken my a gnome just to have this effect.
How does a river bleed?
@@jakwolfe3025 how does a skeleton bleed? I dunno. But it'll be fun to have to figure that out.
@@Shiny_Sean milk obviously
The boss: about to test us for our worth
My bard: wanna go out with me?
Also my bard: totals a 40 for persuasion
The boss: doesn’t target my bard once in the fight and protects him from the terrain effects
Bit of context: We had just finished a quest to find this lady's cat. She was the headmistress at Hogwarts. My character also had a house elf that could give her bagels. Also, my character really loves cats. She has twelve at home.
We're talking to the headmistress and getting ready to head out. My character and another decide that they want the lady's cat. So, I have my house elf bake a bagel in the same shape and size as the cat. My friend (the rouge) rolls to switch out the real cat and the bagel one. And they get a Nat 20. We leave that place with one more cat.
A few sessions later, the lady turns out to be the main villain. She kidnaps us and while we're being held hostage, we talk a little. Turns out she truly believed that it was a cat and had fed it. She thought it was dead.
Fast forward even more, and it turns out that the cat was the real headmistress! Our DM had apparently been mentioning a fancy collar around her neck, but we were so caught up in the idea of stealing the cat that we weren't listening.
Wooooow omg that's funny! XD I imagine the headmistress wasn't particularly pleased
@@r.j.penfold well the real one was happy for she got kidnapped by the good guys and was probly fine with it all. Evil one no probly a bit pissed
What about all the weird cat costumes she had to put on
I guessed the twist with the Cat because I have seen the movies and know MaGonnigal was a Cat Amangis. Say who was the fake headmistresses.
@@emberfist8347 She ended up being the BBEG. She was the final fight and almost one shot us. Her name was Astora Deathglow, and she was an evil goddess of sorts.
My first dnd game i was curious how far the dm would let me go, ended up eating 2 party members, best double nat 20s I have ever pulled
SO SIS YOU COOK THEM, CHOP EM OR
WAIT WAS IT VORE OR DID YOU KILL THEM FIRST
I'm sorry, what???
Context?
Slept with a shopkeeper so I could get stuff for free. Had to roll for the act. Roll led to my character getting pregnant
worth.
ayyyy free child
Lol random npc
DM;: so... you arrive to town and there’s a child
Me: I want to slap him!
DM:what?
Me: roll!!
Dice: 19
DM : you kill the child
Me >:D
Oh so you abusing children in DND
Imagine slapping a child outta existence...ya'd probably have to use magic but just imagine it
Your gen z, aren’t you
@@piniatafullofblood I don’t know how the gens work actually... 25 counts as Z or millennial?
@@seanbuchhalter9330 yo tell me when ya get an answer cuz I'm lost too I mean I don't fully care but it's always nice to know so I understand gen related jokes or remarks better
The druid in my party tried to intimidate a fortress. Rolled a nat 20. The fortress was made to be alive and intelligent so it was basically a massive construct. I was going to have a puzzle that would let the parry bypass some of the easier encounters but decided to just open the secret door because of the druids roll
The Druid basically scared the MAWLR. NICE!
I rolled once to see if my character knew anything about how to clean water.
I got a nat #20 and gained a hydrologist background which actually became a critical theme to our campaign 🤣🤣🤣
Two sessions ago, we were fighting an air elemental, and the cleric asked if he could somehow grapple the thing to prevent it from attacking our weakened Paladin. DM said sure why the hell not. The madman rolled a Natural 20, and the DM had to figure out how this dwarf could grab a creatures made of sand and wind. It's going to be a legendary moment, I'm sure.
I rolled to have my Warforged Ranger grab onto a hag before she planeshifted, one time. Ended up in the Abyss.. Don't go grabbin' hags, yo.
I once grabbed a goblin and rolled to poke it and the dm said I didn’t need to but I did anyway, I rolled a nat 20 and poked him so hard my hand went through him
PFFT IM DYING
WHAT WERE YOU, A BARBARIAN?!
@@thebutterscotchkid2481 Bru how’d u know XD
@@Deth30360 only a barbarian has that kind of strength, haha!
@@UnhealthyChaoticPoetry so is the goblin
In one campaign my team got addicted to the deck of many things...we got stuck in a pyramid and our paladin decided while we fought one mummy to use thundering smite...woke up all the enemies and nearly got us all killed. We still tease him to this day.
The one at "yell at gold" is gold. Man, I wish I had people to play with. Its' been so long.
My character managed to seduce a Chuul (crab-spider-thing) and the DM gave us a minute to stop it killing me out of love
So some back round info: I was playing a soard focused on charming people instead of fighting since he was a pacifist, we happen upon the BBEG who surprise surprise was immune to charms because my DM was upset I had been charming my way out of things the whole game. So I say “I use enhance ability eagles splendor on myself and I use one sorcery points one for quickened spell, then I attempt to persuade the BBEG to not destroy the entire country and become a good guy by saying that just because of his tragic backstory it doesn’t mean he had to be evil” the DM laughs and goes “alright roll for charisma but if you fail I’m going to seriously harm your character” (he was known to be a bit sadistic”18 + my 5 which was doubled so a 10. So does 28 work” DM “well say your speech and we’ll see” (insert epic speech about how one bad thing doesn’t make your whole life have to be bad) (DM as BBEG) “well I don’t know maybe you’re right I have some conflicting feelings now so I’m going to postpone destroying the world and go to therapy if it doesn’t work I’ll destroy the world” and that’s how I convinced the BBEG to not destroy the world without charm spells.
Edit: I fixed up a lot of errors
Our monk once skipped our DM's entire day's plan by Persuading the villain to let us go. It was supposed to be us being held prisoner and fighting in an arena until we won back our freedom, instead we walked out seconds after walking in with a nat 20. Shortest adventure ever.
Sorcerer to the Cleric at the 9 minute mark: I WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK WITH YOUR MANAGER!
so this.... was a weird one. the party was going after a nest of goblins. simple mission, go in, murder, collect loot, save some women, random player gets cursed by goblin necklace and becomes a grand goblin (something goblin, was made up. dont ask) to start the main quest to either undo the curse, or eventually become the goblin god. or atleast how it should have went.
so they got to the nest and the rogue said "i sneak in to check the place out" i was like '.... suicide but okay' she keeps getting high rolls so she stayed stealthed into the heart of the den. finds the leader goblin.
she rolled to stealth murder the leader with her bow. 20. gobbo dies, none notice her. they rush outta the room trying to find the killer. she sneaks up to the leader and takes the necklace.
roll for curse. 20. she retains human form but all gobbo's see her as one of their own and she has racial trait benefits of gobbo's added on to her own (i would eventually make her slowly turn into a gobbo to get the story going but thats another thing entirely)
she goes to sneak out, gets caught due to low roll. here's where things get weird. she asks "... do i have the sexual stamina of a goblin?" i replied '..... yes?' and then she said "i roll to rape them all to death" ....... nat 20. she fucked and killed her way through the entire nest. i only had her roll like 4 times to keep going cause it was hilarious to me. each time either 20 or 19 so she jsut kept going. i told her mid way she could just walk out as she looks like a goblin to them but nope, wanted to thrust her way out. eventually got back to the party.
shit was awkward and weird between the party after that. the players found it hilarious though. the paladin of the group had PTSD from seeing it lol his "pure eyes couldnt handle it" he said lol
So like Goblin Slayer but... No actually pretty much like Goblin Slayer.
@@BunniRabbi Goblin Layer*
@@alexanderlloydmendoza979 So now I'm imagining rabbit dressed as a rabbi hopping down a hallway paved with goblins.
@@alexanderlloydmendoza979 - do you keep reposting this or am I just getting notifications repeatedly because the program's being weird?
@@BunniRabbi no this is the only time i wrote this
I rolled a Nat 20 with a +2. On cooking. The food even didn't do anything!
here’s a fun story!
So I’m not really a DND player (although that’s gonna change soon, my friends helped me make a character and I hope to join their games soon!) but my friend group is very into it. My friend (Friend A) told me this story, so it’s secondhand. Sorry if it’s not very “correct”, as I said I’ve never really played and some details are fuzzy :p
So one of my friends (friend B) plays as a fire warlock. As they all gathered to start at this bar place, the first thing he did was shoot fire at the bartender who was giving them their quest. He missed, hit some wine barrels in the back, which caught fire and made the whole place explode. As the FIRST THING that happened in the entire game
Same. I thought the guy was unique in his ineptitude, but I guess not.
PC in a campaign that I’m a part of rolled to punch a bandit in the dong, rolled a nat 20, killed the bandit instantly!
YES YES TELL ME THIS BECAME A THING IN THE PARTY!! I love the idea of this a lot plus kobold are smoll so low as fuck blow from a female hehehe
I remember the one time one of my friends acquired a ring of drunkenness (he's a plague doctor and is our mage/cleric)
Encountered 15 hellspawn (in an alley beside the tavern which we were in) and he put the newly acquired ring on. (he had used all his spell on perception check and combat and trying to kill me )( A chaotic evil/neutral rogue succubus) then he found a rat grabbed it by its tail and proceeded to whack the hellspawn with it he succeeded and now when he uses the ring of drunkenness he turns into a berserker and magically pulls the rat out of nowhere. ( since then he's named the rat "RATTEY")
The rat does melee damage and poison damage due to the rat carrying the black plague.
In the same campaign my character threw birth control at a high priestess which knock her out
Fun times.
What the fuck
Why are you yeeting birth control at a priestess
The monk in my party came out of a long, thematic coma after an epic Boss fight in the ethereal plane. Jokingly, upon waking up he rolled a crit for morning wood. DM didn't ask him to roll for it, but since it happened the monk decided to honor it. Spent the game day looking for somewhere to put it. Ended up servicing himself in a hotel bathtub while the bard set the mood with music and a light show. While they were Inn-hopping, the monk and bard were able to gather clues about a murder mystery they solved the next day.
now that is a funny one
There was a giant bell outside the gates of a secluded lodge. We had to ring it to get the attention of the gate keeper.
I, the barbarian dragonborn, rolled a nat20 to throw our party's 2 foot, very angry gnome at the bell against his will to ring it.
I had a story a little similar to the first one. I had approached a group of bandits, posing as an exotic goods trader to set up an ambush. After a bit of combat I rolled to throw a bandit's corpse into a river to get rid of it. But I rolled so high that I ripped their leg off and threw it over the river, where it hit an exotic goods trader that looked just like me.
I was in a campaign where one of my party members ended up imploding the planet with flowers and the DM told us it was the only time she ever had one player kill the rest of the party in one move and survive himself
I remember this one time when in my campaign our sorcerer ended up casting Fly on our Fighters Boar mount with wild magic while fighting a dragon, and it ended up being the one who flew into the dragon and finished it off, and my character being the only one who wasn’t down ofcourse took all the credit.
So I guess that puts a whole new meaning to the saying “When pigs fly”
We once had a really tough boss fight and one of my buddies wanted to pursuade the DM that the boss was a figment of our imagination and the DM said that would only work if he rolled 20 and wouldn't you guess it, he rolled a 20. Easiest bossfight in our campaign.
I had a sorcerer gnome land on beach in the far realm and instead of investigative the surroundings he rolled to make a sand castle and succeeded then rolled to use it as a diving board to jump into the bizarre far realm water and rolled a natural 1 and as he climbed his sand castle it gave way and crumbled under his feet and got sand in his eyes. The party was pissed he wasted his turn playing in sand.
Not exactly a dumb thing, just an incredibly convoluted crit fest.
Our party was being hosted for dinner at some noble family's house. Due to circumstances, we weren't allowed to leave. (We're not running DnD btw, just a very obscure PnPRPG ruleset, I'm just translating everything into DnD terms for clarity, but some terms don't have DnD equivalents)
One of the funny things is that our barbarian rolled incredibly well when talking to the viscount, and despite her being a giant, brutish, and uncharismatic tribal, she managed to find some common ground with him. It turns out that him, having been a knight, had a particular fondness for heavy, two handed weapons, which just so happened to be the barbarian's favourite thing in the world.
If the lowlife barbarian becoming buddies with a noble wasn't funny enough, there's more.
In comes the viscount's daughter, and my character (noble background, but fell from grace and ended up a ruthless mercenary whose best friend is aforementioned barbarian) immediately gains interest in her, since the two have a surprising amount in common (especially since neither of them have any real friends around their age group of early adult/late teen)
Many great rolls later, the two end up hanging out alone, chatting. Mostly just finding out about this weird place our party is momentarily stuck in. Then, after getting secret and secret out of her, I crit a roll (don't remember if it was persuasion, insight, or something else), and she ends up spilling the family secret, and shows me the necromantic book that's her family's heirloom.
Naturally, my character fails the willpower roll needed to resist touching the book, and ends up having to make a fear roll (a unique rule to this set that I'm particularly fond of), which she fails hard enough to faint. (This scene alone ended up skipping a tonne of content the GM had prepared)
My character's bad luck doesn't end there, though.
When she woke up, she found the heir salivating over her. Turns out that that this family's fangs weren't just for show, and that they were, in fact, vampires (we had good reason to believe otherwise), but refrain from feeding on guests.
Unfortunately, her willpower gave out, and she wanted to drink my character's blood.
Luckily, she had very low strength score. Unluckily, so does my character. The GM made it clear that she would have to make good rolls for me to be unable to break free, though.
She rolled a natural 20, and I a natural 1. Oops.
So a basic exposition heavy session turned to one of our characters almost dying.
So it was my first time DMing a couple nights ago, they spent 5 minutes haggling with a group of Poachers about a wolf pup... in case you were wondering Sirus is now a part of the group.
On my first campaign, I had an instrument. I got bored, and asked my dm if I could blow in my horn. He said I could, if I rolled high enough for performance. I got a natural 20. It started an encounter. He was actually subbing for another dm, so when I was transferred since there were too many, we met again. He was excited to meet me, until he realized who I was. Almost nobody made it through unscathed, except, ironically, me.
Task failed successfully.
8:58 As somebody at that table, I can finally say we made it to the big leagues! We got into a MrRipper vid!
Mateing danced a siren while having +1 cha and being enthralled now i kinda have a siren waifu in the game
Dont forget that Merle from The Adventure Zone once flaped his arms really hard and started flying
Years ago I was in a game of Tunnels and Trolls and one of my teammates decided to jump into a dragons mouth and stab it in the uvula.
wat
@@bencenagy5459 The dangly thing in the back of the throat.
Unlocking a door with their tongue. If they didn't roll a nat 20, I would have never allowed it.
Me: "You want to talk to the lovecraftian monster who replaced the moon... while you're still on earth?"
Player: "Yes." Nat 20.
Me: ...
Player: "Hey dude!"
Lovecraftian monster: "What's up?"
I made the last one and, yay, I made it on a Mr. Ripper video!
I once got caught by some jackals. As i ran i climbed into a tree and pretended to be a bird. The jackals saw me climb the tree but i rolled a nat 20 for deception. My character proceeded to say, "im a bird!! Not a man not a man!!!". The jackals beleived me and walked away
My friend rolled to "seduce the mimic."
...she rolled a nat 20.
Now that’s some real talent.
so its an onahole now
In a vampire throne room there was litterally a river of blood going through it, i got nat20 putting some of it in a vial causing the vial to expand and containing more blood than it would normally.
Guessing a guard's name to fool him that the party was on his side, on a d100. His name is Doug,... Doug Dicktrees.
Dunning Krueger, the Barbarian:
"I would like to make an _intelligence_ check..."
Granted, that was the ONLY kind of skill check I ever attempted, so I was bound to succeed _eventually._
Just wanted to tell everyone reading this that they rock😊
Daw you.😊
you too bro!!
Rangers don’t rock, but you sir/ma’am you do in fact rock! Appreciate you!
No
@@TropicSpoon oof
Here's mine as a DM:
"Yeet the god"
For very convoluted reasons, Hades is traveling with the party in a dead-magic zone. They got into a fight with a bunch of wild boar, when the player asks if they can throw hades. I had them make a strength check- nat. 20.
The player picked up the god, THREW HIM, and kocked out the boar in the process.
Friend of mine met a bartender and wanted to know her bust size, dm says roll for perception. Nat 20. The bartender had a bound down H cup.
The person who asked, was a changeling.
We were in a Dragon's lair, fighting him atop his massive hoard of gold. As he's attacking the rest of the party with his flame breath and tail, my character, a Dragonborn Barbarian, decides to sink underneath the gold like a Crocodile. Only his head is visible.
Being a barbarian, he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed.
When it comes back round to being his turn again, he decides to rummage around the pile to grab a Golden Boomerang and lob it at the dragon. His reasoning is that if he throws his axe then it won't come back.
He rolls a Natural 20 and the DM sighs.
We later ended up killing the BBEG with that very same boomerang.
I think the IOU for one suit of full plate armor was a good bit of role play, not DM generosity. Realistically speaking, many precursors to Bank Notes came and went throughout our history. It was a reasonable and lore justifiable action.
You made my week man I nearly died laughing which never happens cause it's insanely difficult to make me smirk let alone laugh
Can't believe that with the new book you can literally move their proficiencies around
Once, I had a dude roll try to tell the demon that was trying to posses him that he had aids in an attempt to make the demon stop. In a time period where aids wasn’t a thing. He rolled a nat 20.
Did he succeed
well my gnome rolled to down a barrel of ale: BINGO NAT20
-Session one
-our party is at a funeral
-i roll to see if there's any food
-it's a nat 20
-there's bread. a lot of bread.
-we have a massive ongoing bit about bread now.
Ok one time we were playing with some friends and one of them asked a weird question about his dog, so the DM had them roll a “stupid questions check” and they critted. Happened again later in the same fight.
A character in a one-shot I was a part of was just really annoying - his response to every situation we encountered was "can I lick it?" This included npc conversations, btw, so we didn't make much progress with him in our party as all the npcs ran away. Finally, to all of our relief, we encountered an ice castle with a locked door, and the character didn't stop to think for the half a second necessary to realize the consequences. He had to roll to unstick his tongue. The nat-1 that resulted meant his tongue was ripped out of his mouth, and cheers came from the rest of us. That said, it was technically a success - the DM later informed us that if that hadn't happened he was just going to kill off the character with something stupid like an elephant falling from the sky for no reason, because he was visibly ruining the experience for the rest of us. So a nat-1 was really what he needed right then.
A safe for work server that isn't a dumpster fire I literally started laughing out loud to that one
I have a friend who throughout the course of a fight, kept trying to steal a wheel of cheese. Dumb part is, they got it as the fight ended.
So some context: my players have been known for not wanting to fight but rather to persuade someone or something into helping them, especially my Paladin, so on the first session this became apparent when him and the others insulted Tiamat so I sent a black dragon servant general person thing of hers to tpk them then DM bs them back to life to teach them to take it more seriously... he kinda persuaded the ancient black dragon to help him kill the campaign boss.... and give him and the party his scales... and another one of my players has a home brew spell to be able to make weapons out of any material... then Tiamat herself came down, killed the dragon, and left, then one of my players rolled a mat 20 on trying to, “use the dragons soul to make powerful weapons”... so first session, black dragon armor and custom op weapons, and they got split exp from each absorbing a bit of soul... then they multi classed and killed a few things to have 5th level of their base class and 4th of their second.... FIRST SESSION!!!!
Wow... Sounds fun!
Time to dark souls this fucking shit with hard passes now so they know to be sparing with things
And this is why in my dnd group we have "DC - go f yourself" aka plot armor.
@@Karatz84 I tried seducing a rich elf in a tavern and ended up getting shadow binded because *he's such a high level you don't stand a chance even rolling a nat 20*
11:19 OP can't just say "the time I killed a red dragon with orc testicles" and NOT expect me to come along for the ride.