Twitter's drunk Google searches

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 24 ноя 2024

Комментарии •

  • @ChickenFingers42
    @ChickenFingers42 3 года назад +8553

    I'm cracking a beer as I'm starting the video. For full immersion.

  • @StuffandThings_
    @StuffandThings_ 3 года назад +12288

    You don't even need to be drunk to wonder "why is Florida still like that?"

  • @rhiannonbamford8741
    @rhiannonbamford8741 3 года назад +3621

    Not mine, but there's a pretty legendary greentext where a drunk guy attempted to search 'Led Zeppelin' multiple times without success, went to bed, and woke up to find 'loop zoop' searched a ridiculous number of times.
    Thanks to this, it is possible to find actual Led Zeppelin songs by searching for Loop Zoop.

    • @dj-murlock
      @dj-murlock 3 года назад +491

      How much did he search for Loop Zoop to make google accept it and make it show Led Zeppelin?!

    • @hellworm
      @hellworm 3 года назад +289

      I fuclimg love thag. I had forgotten about it

    • @hellworm
      @hellworm 3 года назад +121

      @Cloi Coleman *fuclimg

    • @ultrazero6837
      @ultrazero6837 3 года назад +52

      @@hellworm up

    • @hellworm
      @hellworm 3 года назад +55

      @@ultrazero6837 up

  • @CheeseYourself
    @CheeseYourself Год назад +1693

    "how to let my cat know i missed her" is honestly just sweet

    • @Melonfeline
      @Melonfeline Год назад +95

      Also “how to br yhe brst dog mom”

    • @t4ylor_hfjONE
      @t4ylor_hfjONE Год назад

      ​@@Melonfelinep f

    • @Marcelatonin
      @Marcelatonin Год назад +35

      @@Melonfeline”how to be the best dog mom

    • @GregTheBread
      @GregTheBread 7 месяцев назад +3

      YES

    • @supranova565
      @supranova565 6 месяцев назад +2

      Yeah. I wonder where it had went?

  • @illusorybucket5703
    @illusorybucket5703 3 года назад +12483

    You are on point with pronouncing gibberish.

    • @JohnSmith-ox3gy
      @JohnSmith-ox3gy 3 года назад +137

      The secret is to take a few swigs.

    • @princessthyemis
      @princessthyemis 3 года назад +81

      I know right?! He's so good at it; those parts are my favorite bc they're so hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @sova1235
      @sova1235 3 года назад +23

      I guess personal experience

    • @Lbozo101
      @Lbozo101 3 года назад +13

      I kwnaoah riahght?18!

    • @ashleybro6933
      @ashleybro6933 3 года назад +12

      It's an underrated talent

  • @nills5608
    @nills5608 3 года назад +13152

    To be honest, the “why is Florida still like that” is a good question

    • @lucabalsasalsa
      @lucabalsasalsa 3 года назад +323

      As a floridian, i don’t know

    • @creativedesignation7880
      @creativedesignation7880 3 года назад +320

      Surprisingly there is actually an answer. Terrible mental health care infrastructure and for profit drug rehabilitation, so the kind of "rehabilitation" that profits from having people relapse asap.
      Couple other factors, like the image that discourages certain people (like those, who never want to be robbed by a man holding an alligator) to move there in the first place.

    • @fishactivation5087
      @fishactivation5087 3 года назад +101

      Florida do what Florida do.

    • @sivvim
      @sivvim 3 года назад +97

      *F L O R I D A D O E S W H A T F L O R I D A D O E S*

    • @fishactivation5087
      @fishactivation5087 3 года назад +17

      @@sivvim That's what I said.

  • @poptartpoltergeist9765
    @poptartpoltergeist9765 3 года назад +2421

    My boyfriend once googled: "Is my Internet working?"
    And then right after: "When did was WW2"

    • @ItsPlayer01
      @ItsPlayer01 2 года назад +123

      I wanna learn more from you're wise Boyfriend.

    • @mintyepicz
      @mintyepicz 2 года назад +125

      @@ItsPlayer01 *Y O U A R E W I S E B O Y F R I E N D*

    • @torroro33o
      @torroro33o 2 года назад +25

      I actually did once googled WW2

    • @AkaneiFlowerbell
      @AkaneiFlowerbell 2 года назад +38

      I mean such wise words of wisdom
      When DID was world War II?

    • @DishyDashyBiggyPPSucker
      @DishyDashyBiggyPPSucker 2 года назад +1

      Hello there You're is a shortened version of You are,
      While Your is litteraly Your.
      Shut up i dont know how to explain things.

  • @Killbayne
    @Killbayne Год назад +419

    1:17 I love how the first result is just "go home, you're drunk"

  • @finallychangedmyname3614
    @finallychangedmyname3614 3 года назад +9167

    "How to undrunk meyself" is something that I would actually not expect a drunk person to search

    • @holczy0
      @holczy0 3 года назад +67

      Yeah it's fake

    • @Waldgxnger
      @Waldgxnger 3 года назад +368

      @@holczy0 most of them sadly probably are

    • @lawrencescales9864
      @lawrencescales9864 3 года назад +300

      Why not, it’s what I’m thinking half the time I’m drunk lol

    • @huuphatnguyen604
      @huuphatnguyen604 2 года назад +46

      @@Waldgxnger what is that name

    • @jack101starZ
      @jack101starZ 2 года назад +19

      They gotta know

  • @AmateurAnimations65
    @AmateurAnimations65 3 года назад +8840

    Drunk people trying to type is even more hilarious than the weird shit they look up

  • @tieguy8605
    @tieguy8605 3 года назад +4945

    - Hey Jim, how hot is it?
    - 91 Fereinheigjtbto, Robert.
    - This is why nobody likes you, Jim.

    • @tacitgamingfanREAL
      @tacitgamingfanREAL 3 года назад +262

      For reference, that’s roughly 32.5 cleaisu.

    • @TheSpellKaster
      @TheSpellKaster 3 года назад +162

      @@tacitgamingfanREAL or about 305.9 klevne

    • @gay.mer9328
      @gay.mer9328 3 года назад +106

      Jim’s having a stroke and Robert has the audacity to insult him

    • @DresDEAD617
      @DresDEAD617 3 года назад +13

      Hi gnome chompski :)

    • @gay.mer9328
      @gay.mer9328 3 года назад +16

      @@Ray_Cathode English is evolving

  • @cryptidkoi8418
    @cryptidkoi8418 Год назад +195

    I was straight faced through the whole thing.
    “Have you seen my keys” broke me

  • @xxsouthcatxx
    @xxsouthcatxx 3 года назад +4898

    I've come to realize that doing google searches while drunk is the equivalent of waking up at 3 am half-asleep writing down gibberish (as an attempt to write down your dream in actuality) on a piece of paper and heading back to bed

    • @odinudin4313
      @odinudin4313 2 года назад +106

      This. This is it.

    • @xxsouthcatxx
      @xxsouthcatxx 2 года назад +26

      @@odinudin4313 Thank you

    • @amandabutterfly151
      @amandabutterfly151 2 года назад +128

      OR IF YOU TEXT SOMEONE HALF ASLEEP LIKE DUDE I SLEEP TEXT SOMETIMES AND I SENT MY BSF A TEXT AT 3am THAT SAID “i ill hatley if you do not tell me where the the fuck are are”

    • @amandabutterfly151
      @amandabutterfly151 2 года назад +8

      @Felix Navidad LMAOOAO

    • @luco663
      @luco663 2 года назад +81

      I did that once. I remember one line saying "loopy loop ranibow rdoa oin caar" I think I was trying to say I was riding in a car on a loopty loop road that was rainbow.

  • @iciebear
    @iciebear 3 года назад +4706

    Furby fanart is something I didn’t know I needed.

  • @skyriver9525
    @skyriver9525 3 года назад +3349

    You don't need to be drunk to be this sort of weird.
    I was once in an afterschool club with two other people, and they were both super sleep deprived.
    They found the color green extremely hilarious.

    • @barrelman6073
      @barrelman6073 2 года назад +330

      why can i see that as something i would do

    • @norb3695
      @norb3695 2 года назад +63

      @@barrelman6073 bro same

    • @s.a6836
      @s.a6836 2 года назад +372

      Actually makes sense, studies have shown that sleep deprivation can cause the same effects as drinking...I've certainly experienced with pulling all nighters for exams and everything just being hilarious for no reason

    • @LifeIsAHighwayIAmACarCrash
      @LifeIsAHighwayIAmACarCrash 2 года назад +152

      Sleep deprivation will do weird things to your head

    • @norb3695
      @norb3695 2 года назад +152

      @@LifeIsAHighwayIAmACarCrash I once pulled an all nighter and I kept laughing at my dog. Then I proceeded to fall asleep on the couch.
      lmao

  • @RoseLalonde76
    @RoseLalonde76 Год назад +177

    Scrolled through many comments here and none of them mentioned "rumpleschnopskins" which killed me dead on the spot. Doubled over, tears streaming down my face. Had to pause the video to collect myself 😂

  • @zahkrosis666
    @zahkrosis666 3 года назад +15132

    "How to *undrunk* yourself"
    Best way to put it.

    • @thebetaman
      @thebetaman 3 года назад +317

      Preform u n d r u n k

    • @pawprint1
      @pawprint1 3 года назад +219

      To become undrunk you must *u n d r u n k*

    • @bsrnkdm12
      @bsrnkdm12 3 года назад +97

      U D R U N K 🤧

    • @Cornsyrupisgood
      @Cornsyrupisgood 3 года назад +133

      How to drunkn’t yourself

    • @poop-kx1td
      @poop-kx1td 3 года назад +7

      @@thebetaman lp

  • @thesleepydot
    @thesleepydot 2 года назад +2300

    my favorite thing is to imagine the person who googled “how to undo a belt buckle?” just drunk as fuck, struggling in front of the toilet for 10 minutes before giving up and reaching for the phone

    • @felipecosta-kv2fx
      @felipecosta-kv2fx 2 года назад +57

      Surprising they haven't pissed themselves

    • @Gobeline78
      @Gobeline78 2 года назад +95

      @@felipecosta-kv2fx or they did but didn't realise yet

    • @seatspud
      @seatspud 2 года назад +38

      Might've been that little kid in that one commercial. "We're about to have a situation!"

    • @death5484
      @death5484 2 года назад +5

      @@seatspud GOD- i havent seen that add in ages

    • @Aden068
      @Aden068 Год назад

      @@Gobeline78 in ur 69th like

  • @volnartheunforgiving3952
    @volnartheunforgiving3952 3 года назад +2008

    "dun del hidiu shdj" as the acapella of the Mario theme is so funny to me for some reason

    • @harrybest2041
      @harrybest2041 3 года назад +41

      *New Super Mario Bros. Goal Pole theme*
      djoc pik qc tr asd sud be twash kwook

    • @hushfur
      @hushfur 3 года назад +45

      I died at that part. I had to pause the video for 5 mins bc I was laughing lol

    • @Hodoodle
      @Hodoodle 3 года назад +21

      I haven't even got to that yet and when I read that it played as Mario in my head lol

    • @Alien-Shenigains
      @Alien-Shenigains 3 года назад +7

      Definitely my favorite part

    • @keatonhardy3297
      @keatonhardy3297 3 года назад +5

      I died of laughter at that part and every time I go back to that part I die of laughter again and again and again

  • @wontonschannel
    @wontonschannel Год назад +61

    i think the funniest ones are the statements like "i dont have a juicer" and "i just really like lord of the rings", something about the idea of a robot made for questions seeing it and going "...uh.. alright?"

    • @Mistwolfss
      @Mistwolfss 2 месяца назад

      It probably helps improve your add searches

  • @magicalplace3788
    @magicalplace3788 2 года назад +2953

    "Are noodles pasta or is pasta noodles"
    I mean... He's got a point

    • @catsplat1272
      @catsplat1272 2 года назад +183

      Pasta is noodles because not all noodles are pasta, like rice noodles, glass noodles, and kelp noodles.

    • @_-_-Sipita-_-_
      @_-_-Sipita-_-_ 2 года назад +52

      Not all pasta are noodles

    • @gamingcookiereal
      @gamingcookiereal 2 года назад +20

      noodles are pasta because macaroni and lasagna is pasta but they arent noodles

    • @KNYD
      @KNYD 2 года назад +26

      @@catsplat1272 Pasta and noodles are different because they are made from different ingredients and originate from different areas.
      Only some English speaking countries use the words interchangeable, the rest of the world has agreed they are different things.

    • @Zaire82
      @Zaire82 2 года назад +9

      ​@@KNYD There are pastas with similar or identical characteristics to noodles, which is where I guess the confusion comes from. People have started to refer to any long form of pasta as "noodle" despite it not being a noodle. Even lasagne is described as a noodle by google, and that's a huge stretch.

  • @hawktalon7890
    @hawktalon7890 3 года назад +9544

    "What is this kid's name sitting next to me" is metaphorically killing me. Would it not be easier to just ask said kid?

    • @MINDARSONIST
      @MINDARSONIST 3 года назад +264

      apparently not

    • @jamievanlaar2289
      @jamievanlaar2289 3 года назад +705

      You don’t get it. Some of us obviously have social anxiety

    • @hawktalon7890
      @hawktalon7890 3 года назад +109

      @@jamievanlaar2289 I also have social anxiety [highly passed down through genetics on mother's side] but I've been taught to suck it up for years. Also...makes 0 sense to Google something that the internet logically wouldn't be able to answer.

    • @MINDARSONIST
      @MINDARSONIST 3 года назад +228

      @@hawktalon7890 im sure they were joking

    • @hawktalon7890
      @hawktalon7890 3 года назад +29

      @@MINDARSONIST It's hard to tell with random strangers, but maybe so.

  • @sheepism470
    @sheepism470 3 года назад +533

    The longest piss was 508 seconds, damn...

    • @tieguy8605
      @tieguy8605 3 года назад +157

      How much water do you think they drank to get an 8 minute piss?

    • @Matt_Rose
      @Matt_Rose  3 года назад +282

      How, in the name of God, has someone urinated for longer than eight minutes?

    • @sheepism470
      @sheepism470 3 года назад +54

      @@Matt_Rose Skill...

    • @themoon7435
      @themoon7435 3 года назад +105

      @@Matt_Rose Was probably one of those really unsatisfying ones when it just like *dribble dribble*

    • @iamdb1990
      @iamdb1990 3 года назад +43

      and here I thought my 45 seconds was decent... shit...

  • @PercydeRoloFangirl
    @PercydeRoloFangirl Год назад +51

    I once got slightly drunk and searched "Why are Demigods portrayed Naked?"

    • @tweeklikesmeth
      @tweeklikesmeth Год назад +5

      results?

    • @mandohunter8509
      @mandohunter8509 5 месяцев назад +13

      @@tweeklikesmethlate, but the answer is that in Greek culture the gods were naked to show off their glory, and demigods were the same

  • @edeasley144
    @edeasley144 3 года назад +451

    I stand by that 'are clams happy?' is a perfectly legit question. For one, if they aren't wtf is with the phrase 'happy as a clam'? Second, maybe the lower level animals are having a great time and here we are mastering science and nature in abject misery. Maybe Buddhism is all about rejecting our miserable, impure humanity and ascending to our true clam inner nature.

    • @shytendeakatamanoir9740
      @shytendeakatamanoir9740 3 года назад +62

      Reject humanity.
      Reject Monke.
      Become a clam.

    • @PiedmontPerkYT
      @PiedmontPerkYT 3 года назад +38

      I think ‘happy as a clam’ comes from the longer phrase ‘happy as a clam at high tide’!

    • @axeinrose
      @axeinrose 2 года назад +5

      Yo I’m a true clam

    • @s4turntomars
      @s4turntomars 2 года назад +3

      why is this question so funny to me?

  • @knightlypoleaxe2501
    @knightlypoleaxe2501 3 года назад +683

    "Things that notify the FBI"
    "What is the difference between first and second degree murder"
    "Where can I get plutonium"

    • @sneed2600
      @sneed2600 2 года назад +37

      1st degree murder is planned murder
      2nd degree is you just pull a gun and shoot the random guy

    • @protoyeet3668
      @protoyeet3668 2 года назад +13

      @@sneed2600 ayo how u know? 🤨

    • @sneed2600
      @sneed2600 2 года назад +41

      @@protoyeet3668 experience

    • @protoyeet3668
      @protoyeet3668 2 года назад +8

      @@sneed2600 oh.

    • @kkak3765
      @kkak3765 2 года назад +12

      Yeah. Been practicing for a while now. Easy as heck to tell the difference.

  • @morsine
    @morsine 2 года назад +1297

    "How to let my cat know I missed her"
    That's something I had searched while sober

    • @hettyherbert
      @hettyherbert Год назад +19

      @| Bluefox | Neither am i. And i dont have a cat.

    • @D1eDreaming
      @D1eDreaming Год назад

      @| Bluefox | Well know everyone knows dumbass

    • @allaniadall9686
      @allaniadall9686 Год назад +6

      Note to self: stay sober my entire life.

    • @eeng17
      @eeng17 Год назад +1

      ​@Bluefox0712Neither am I but I would search that no matter what because I do have a cat.

    • @Gacha_gays
      @Gacha_gays Год назад +1

      Did it give you any good results?

  • @izzywolflover
    @izzywolflover Год назад +47

    I love how chill Bamboo was about being held like that. I’m guessing he’s used to it

    • @TheCaptainAmelia
      @TheCaptainAmelia 10 месяцев назад +1

      He looked annoyed, kitties are something else

  • @nikozanoyblequy4636
    @nikozanoyblequy4636 3 года назад +509

    3:14 the fact that Google knew exactly who he was talking about is quite impressive

    • @tacohead8543
      @tacohead8543 3 года назад +64

      Google knows what you're talking about. _Always knows._

    • @Mystery-Wolf
      @Mystery-Wolf 3 года назад +57

      A lot of people look that up. Like that’s what everyone decided to name the tiger lmao.

    • @daisukisuki
      @daisukisuki 3 года назад +10

      I was reading this and thought it said George

    • @zhankazest
      @zhankazest 2 года назад +12

      @@daisukisuki george knows everything

  • @sl1psk1
    @sl1psk1 3 года назад +925

    i would honestly google some of this stupid shit while sober

    • @fork3202
      @fork3202 3 года назад +34

      same, especially since I’m too young to drink

    • @rejectedcopy4733
      @rejectedcopy4733 3 года назад +38

      I legit just googled are clams happy
      I was not disappointed

    • @shytendeakatamanoir9740
      @shytendeakatamanoir9740 3 года назад +16

      @@rejectedcopy4733 So? Are they?

    • @rapterlabs
      @rapterlabs 3 года назад +18

      @@rejectedcopy4733 please tell us

    • @PikaveeT
      @PikaveeT 3 года назад +19

      It's like they say sometimes in Colorado, drunk words are sober thoughts

  • @randomone8811
    @randomone8811 3 года назад +647

    As a person who has been sober their whole life the "Are noodles pasta or is pasta noodles" is basically 3 am thoughts.

    • @TheWeirdAlley
      @TheWeirdAlley 2 года назад +8

      Can confirm

    • @lav-kitty
      @lav-kitty 2 года назад +29

      also "how do snakes move" and "what is a volcano anyway"

    • @lav-kitty
      @lav-kitty 2 года назад +20

      ah yeah, don't forget "what is the softest animal in the world"

    • @t.k.5088
      @t.k.5088 2 года назад +16

      There are studies comparing the effects of sleep deprivation with different sorts of intoxication. They're actually kinda similar. Remember kids, don't drink and drive but also get proper sleep before driving.

    • @thesetwofloofs5397
      @thesetwofloofs5397 2 года назад +2

      oh yeah I act drunk late at night/early in the morning. I have vague memories of googling “all guzma encounters” and laughing my literal eyes out at the comments. (Came back to it later and figured out why- the comments are god damn funny)

  • @sakkra93
    @sakkra93 Год назад +11

    "How do I undrunk myself?" is like something I'd ask when drunk.
    In my past experiences, being drunk started off great, then the buzz wore off later in the night, and I felt little happiness but a lot of regret, depression, a desire to never drink again, hunger, a longing for this feeling to go away instantly, an envy of the teetotal, and stuffy-headedness.
    I don't miss having 10 pints in an evening like I used to do in my early 20s, not at all. 3-4 pints whilst having a walk in town is generally my limit now.

  • @Andy-rj8sr
    @Andy-rj8sr 2 года назад +935

    The person who googled “shrek 5” obviously found out there wasn’t going to be one and started having an existential crisis 😂😂

    • @bug8357
      @bug8357 2 года назад +26

      Actually, there is a shrek 5 in the works.

    • @leo_v8214
      @leo_v8214 2 года назад +12

      @@bug8357 WHAT?!

    • @hufdsnhf
      @hufdsnhf 2 года назад +33

      A shreksitensial crisis

    • @agentnintendonate1thee2tan89
      @agentnintendonate1thee2tan89 2 года назад

      @@hufdsnhf There's the door, now get the fuck out.

    • @AbbieAutismHeart
      @AbbieAutismHeart 3 месяца назад +5

      turns out? He was right, THERE IS GONNA BE A SHREK 5!!

  • @Doodlebugthegoldenhamster
    @Doodlebugthegoldenhamster 3 года назад +542

    About half of these made me giggle uncontrollably.

  • @SomedudeonYouTubeB
    @SomedudeonYouTubeB 3 года назад +268

    When I was 15, I got super wasted and came home at 2am. So instead of just going to bed and avoiding any trouble since my parents were already asleep, I pulled the 200IQ move and went to the family computer to google "how to get sober". But I stumbled and knocked down the fucking monitor, it was one of those old bulky ones, so it made a loud fucking noise which of course woke my parents... It's been years, I'm an adult and live on my own now, but somehow "the monitor story" ends up being told at nearly every family reunion

    • @Cryospec
      @Cryospec 2 года назад +39

      "When i was 15, i got super wasted" foreign country moment

    • @qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm3093
      @qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm3093 2 года назад +2

      @How probably. though these things don't only happen in America.

  • @cosmocode75
    @cosmocode75 10 месяцев назад +63

    "why is floor on the floor" 💀

  • @tzshchsjsjxijyo
    @tzshchsjsjxijyo 2 года назад +363

    “Let me into the Pentagon Biden” is such a terrifying line and the fact that it was from a furby makes it 100x more terrifying

  • @tacohead8543
    @tacohead8543 3 года назад +1696

    Wasn't my google, but my friend googled "why does my hippo scream". He's deaf. He can't hear screams. I'm honestly confused.
    Also grats on 100k subs!!

    • @bladeofSteele
      @bladeofSteele 3 года назад +194

      The first time I read this I thought you were saying that your friend's hippo is deaf. I was wondering how he could have a hippo.

    • @khunt5336
      @khunt5336 3 года назад +76

      maybe he had one of those little keychain pet things and he got a hippo but it got hungry or something so it started "screaming" and he needed to know why

    • @Cactuardude
      @Cactuardude 3 года назад +64

      why does he have a hippo

    • @tacohead8543
      @tacohead8543 3 года назад +76

      @@Cactuardude he does not.

    • @BlueDragon-vm1bt
      @BlueDragon-vm1bt 3 года назад +82

      Maybe he remembered watching a hippo do the thing where they open their mouths really big, and since he's deaf he thought they were screaming

  • @bigtrolly
    @bigtrolly 3 года назад +436

    I once wanted to know what a certain meme song was named, but I couldn't make out the words. So I googled 'bajam baja do it sometime bedipepe po'.
    I now know that it's Jack Stauber - Buttercup.

    • @podokonnik1796
      @podokonnik1796 3 года назад +101

      you weren't that far from what Jack Stauber actually sings

    • @misteruncanny
      @misteruncanny 3 года назад +45

      That's most of Jack's stuff at times

    • @lionguardant5468
      @lionguardant5468 3 года назад +7

      my initial thought was tutti frutti by little richard

    • @NoriMori1992
      @NoriMori1992 3 года назад +15

      Holy shit thanks, I've actually had a video that uses that song looping through my head, wondering what the song was!

    • @marclegum
      @marclegum 3 года назад +2

      I thought it was the pink lather theme

  • @rowbow7977
    @rowbow7977 Год назад +15

    4:00 i love how siri responded with “!”

  • @tubz__
    @tubz__ 3 года назад +643

    The fact that he can literally say every mispelled word is incredible
    Edit: damn guys tnx for all the likes this is the highest amount I got lol, and Happy New Year!!

  • @BenMarcWilliams
    @BenMarcWilliams 3 года назад +475

    I feel like google searching "things that notify the fbi" might be a thing that notifies the FBI.

    • @TyTytheCat2004
      @TyTytheCat2004 2 года назад +15

      i think you just notified the fbi.

    • @animeshpanda2960
      @animeshpanda2960 2 года назад +8

      @@TyTytheCat2004 you too must have notified the fbi

    • @Noblesse_Sapphire
      @Noblesse_Sapphire 2 года назад +8

      @@animeshpanda2960 be careful there, I think you also notified the fbi

    • @professorcontrol9708
      @professorcontrol9708 2 года назад +7

      @@Noblesse_Sapphire You must've also notified the FBI.

    • @HighCooler420
      @HighCooler420 2 года назад +6

      @@professorcontrol9708 I believe that you have preformed the action of notifying a group of people, whom of which, (specifically in the northern hemisphere) have agents in many people computers.

  • @minecrafter3448
    @minecrafter3448 3 года назад +339

    The guy that searched up “how to undrunk” himself was actually pretty smart, considering he was drunk.

  • @Sprouted_Bean
    @Sprouted_Bean 2 года назад +16

    "I just really like lord of the rings"
    ONE OF US
    ONE OF US
    ONE OF US

  • @spiritwarhol707
    @spiritwarhol707 3 года назад +697

    "Why is the floor on the floor?"
    Ah yes, the floor here is made out of floor.

    • @shytendeakatamanoir9740
      @shytendeakatamanoir9740 3 года назад +39

      Yes.
      But why?
      Why?

    • @Tigershark_3082
      @Tigershark_3082 3 года назад +27

      @@shytendeakatamanoir9740 *Vsauce theme plays*

    • @ireallydespisethisname
      @ireallydespisethisname 3 года назад +24

      The floor is just an upside-down roof and the roof is just an upside-down floor and the walls are just rotated floors & roofs. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

    • @Nat_the_Chicken
      @Nat_the_Chicken 3 года назад +5

      Someone had to say it
      - Badeline

    • @raccken_
      @raccken_ 3 года назад +3

      I choked on my pizza

  • @rbxless
    @rbxless 3 года назад +207

    4:27 The narrative here, it's just so tragic, how a young boy's hopes and dreams can be shattered

    • @Doodlebugthegoldenhamster
      @Doodlebugthegoldenhamster 2 года назад +4

      Either this is a joke, or you’re implying underage drinking.

    • @rbxless
      @rbxless 2 года назад +12

      @@Doodlebugthegoldenhamster the former

    • @sanescale
      @sanescale Год назад +1

      WELL WELL

    • @taeromann5929
      @taeromann5929 6 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@Doodlebugthegoldenhamsterboth of them are possible

    • @Fog799
      @Fog799 3 месяца назад +1

      His dreams came true

  • @CelestialBunnyPaws
    @CelestialBunnyPaws 2 года назад +647

    I'm in awe at how casually someone can hold a kitten without addressing it.
    That's a strange thing to be in awe over, I know, but shhh.

    • @weird_art_kid
      @weird_art_kid 2 года назад +16

      Ikr?!

    • @micayoung5578
      @micayoung5578 2 года назад +24

      because it wasn't addressed and i wasn't paying particular attention to it i had no idea that was a kitten until i saw this comment
      thank you i have now seen a kitten that i otherwise wouldn't have

    • @freeze7894
      @freeze7894 2 года назад

      69

    • @Xeem_Pad
      @Xeem_Pad 2 года назад

      ​@@weird_art_kid you know what?

    • @ohnobro1424
      @ohnobro1424 2 года назад +1

      I saw it too

  • @DinoLoverGaming
    @DinoLoverGaming 10 месяцев назад +12

    "why is the floor on the floor"
    that's a good question

  • @PoggoThomas
    @PoggoThomas 3 года назад +157

    "What's the difference between first and second degree murder?"
    If that's what you're curious about when you're drunk, I'm concerned...

    • @MouldMadeMind
      @MouldMadeMind 3 года назад +13

      It's how cool the murder was.

    • @Bruh-jz1se
      @Bruh-jz1se 2 года назад +2

      Nice
      Edit: and this is why we can't have nice stuff

    • @njinlover
      @njinlover 2 года назад +3

      It's the temperature innit

  • @jackkahler2116
    @jackkahler2116 3 года назад +463

    Is nobody going to talk about the guy who thought he was dead inside because of Shrek 5?

    • @tristanraine
      @tristanraine 3 года назад +89

      it went from "is there going to be a shrek 5" to "why is there anything at all" WHO HURT THEM

    • @tacohead8543
      @tacohead8543 3 года назад +32

      i think that's normal, watched it and i had a mental breakdown.

    • @nightwarper1760
      @nightwarper1760 3 года назад +23

      @@tacohead8543 Are you a time traveler?

    • @tacohead8543
      @tacohead8543 3 года назад +14

      @@nightwarper1760 maybe. why?

    • @shytendeakatamanoir9740
      @shytendeakatamanoir9740 3 года назад +14

      @@tristanraine Shrek's absence.
      As it hurts all of us every single day.
      It really is all ogre now.

  • @vanillaicecream6961
    @vanillaicecream6961 2 года назад +340

    I love how a few of these are questions that I wonder about when sober and others are just
    "Can jesus microwave burrito"
    True story, I searched that once.
    I was totally sober.

    • @missylissy200
      @missylissy200 Год назад +22

      I tend to contemplate weird stuff while drunk, but once I googled "Jesus's favourite food" while completely sober.

    • @oddcrafter1270
      @oddcrafter1270 Год назад +10

      It's probably fish.

    • @katharina...
      @katharina... Год назад +7

      I once interviewed Jesus for a job. True story!

    • @loki4807
      @loki4807 Год назад +14

      I was drunk once and hallucinated that the jesus statue I had was talking to and insulting me, I sat there cursing at him for an hour straight while shitfaced. Guess I'm going to Hell.

    • @EllpaFox47
      @EllpaFox47 Год назад +14

      @@missylissy200 i looked up "Is Setting People on fire a war crime" while 100% sober
      the answer is no, but setting unarmed field medics on fire is and I think that counts

  • @the98themperoroftheholybri33
    @the98themperoroftheholybri33 Год назад +8

    "have he got a Korean neck"
    I googled this when I was 19 and I still have no idea why

    • @verytonk
      @verytonk 3 месяца назад

      well, have he got a korean neck or not?

    • @Elias_Harrison
      @Elias_Harrison 3 дня назад

      tf is a korean neck? 😭

  • @mikan2327
    @mikan2327 3 года назад +517

    3:14 As someone who's not a furry, man that tiger looked fine as hell

  • @IOTA_proto
    @IOTA_proto 3 года назад +325

    i dont know why but "do fish have parking spots" is making me giggle my ass off

    • @echo_is_probably_sleeping
      @echo_is_probably_sleeping 2 года назад +2

      Nice profile pic

    • @Metal_headgirl
      @Metal_headgirl 2 года назад +4

      Protogen 👋

    • @Moroi92
      @Moroi92 2 года назад +2

      Why is everyone talking about the profile pic. Just reply to the comment and stop immediately judging people if they have furry ocs. Jeez. What is society right now

    • @Metal_headgirl
      @Metal_headgirl 2 года назад +7

      @@Moroi92 nobody’s judging I’m literally a furry with a protogen fursona I was just saying hi to a fellow protogen

    • @1MadJack1
      @1MadJack1 2 года назад +1

      @@Metal_headgirl thats what literally do to any protogen pfps lol

  • @wawaweewa6370
    @wawaweewa6370 3 года назад +190

    THE FURBY FANART I'M CRYINH

  • @Z3N1TY0
    @Z3N1TY0 Год назад +30

    4:36
    NAH THATS A SOBER QUESTION

  • @Salithin
    @Salithin 3 года назад +352

    “Have you seen my keys?”
    That’s not weird, google knows *google can see you*

    • @JohnSmith-ox3gy
      @JohnSmith-ox3gy 3 года назад +3

      I'd opt in for that. Small price to pay.

    • @SieMiezekatze
      @SieMiezekatze 3 года назад +1

      But how do they do it??? Like they know it all, I say something out loud and is in my recommended next

    • @Salithin
      @Salithin 3 года назад +7

      @@SieMiezekatze *do not question thy google*

    • @pittagiiya
      @pittagiiya 3 года назад +1

      @@SieMiezekatze built-in microphone, silly

  • @commander_frog
    @commander_frog 3 года назад +811

    Matt if your gonna talk about cooking put the cat down

    • @Matt_Rose
      @Matt_Rose  3 года назад +308

      Do not worry the cat is always safely elsewhere whenever I'm creating carnage in the kitchen

    • @Cardinalt
      @Cardinalt 3 года назад +174

      @@Matt_Rose Is he off making his own carnage?

    • @Matt_Rose
      @Matt_Rose  3 года назад +218

      @@Cardinalt You know it

    • @xionkuriyama5697
      @xionkuriyama5697 3 года назад +27

      He will be baked soon alhamdulilah

    • @mutantsandmemes
      @mutantsandmemes 3 года назад +20

      Bro don't make assumptions, he may be catering to the traditional Chinese cuisine 🤷🏽‍♀️

  • @Iluvpie6
    @Iluvpie6 3 года назад +122

    What a strange experience that scores of humans around the globe share - experiences of acute distress during bouts of recreational self-poisoning. Indeed it is also one of my favorite activities.

    • @dinowolf359
      @dinowolf359 3 года назад +3

      You from around here?

    • @Iluvpie6
      @Iluvpie6 3 года назад +4

      @@dinowolf359 yes! I am a “local,” as you say!

  • @im_boingboing
    @im_boingboing 7 месяцев назад +5

    I wasn't drunk or anything but I randomly asked my Google assistant "can you get high off sniffing hand sanitizer?" And she gave me the suicide crisis number

    • @Mango_the_gecko
      @Mango_the_gecko 7 месяцев назад +4

      Soooo basically you have to find out for urself…

  • @mineryhb6310
    @mineryhb6310 3 года назад +93

    "yeah we can probably get a video about that"

  • @arisenishere74
    @arisenishere74 2 года назад +752

    The way Matt was holding his cat was like he was gonna cook it.

  • @kitcat2449
    @kitcat2449 2 года назад +113

    3:04 I love how chrome just gives you that ":D" face when you have too many tabs open

  • @calthekonqueror312
    @calthekonqueror312 Год назад +9

    "There will be more cooking with Matt"
    *Looks at his cat*

  • @Lin_The_Cat_
    @Lin_The_Cat_ 3 года назад +125

    My favourite was probably, “Joe Budden owes me $600.”

  • @theemperorstarwarslegends8075
    @theemperorstarwarslegends8075 2 года назад +399

    I love the ones where people are so hammered out of their mind that they ask Google for regular everyday things like, "Have you seen my keys?"
    There's something utterly hilarious about drunk searches like that.

    • @spongebobmiscellaneous
      @spongebobmiscellaneous Год назад

      And then WikiHow just provides an actual article on key-finding

    • @denbondombe6640
      @denbondombe6640 Год назад +22

      Someone was so drunk they put " can you pop to Lidl please' into Google.

    • @Teachmepleaseeee
      @Teachmepleaseeee 9 месяцев назад +1

      Google find my wife.

    • @goodusername89
      @goodusername89 5 месяцев назад +2

      The fact that it’s spelled perfectly yet they’re asking Google makes it ever funnier to me

  • @cloudymew
    @cloudymew 2 года назад +243

    I get drunk off sleep deprivation and when I wake up in the morning I see that I've googled some extremely strange things. I'd say the best one is "how to make a spider cook eggs for you"

    • @cloudymew
      @cloudymew Год назад +31

      I don't even like eggs 😭😭

    • @STATIC_GAMING1
      @STATIC_GAMING1 Год назад +4

      Why would you even want a spider to do it in the first place tho. It could have been anything else lmao

    • @Underworlder5
      @Underworlder5 Год назад +2

      @@STATIC_GAMING1 maybe OP has a spider problem

    • @STATIC_GAMING1
      @STATIC_GAMING1 Год назад +2

      Maybe, that would make more sense

    • @colossaltitan3546
      @colossaltitan3546 Год назад +1

      Man I wish I could get up to this level of funny and dumb antics when drunk. Whenever I do get drunk I just pass out and sleep it off after a few hours

  • @Idiotic_B_Purcell
    @Idiotic_B_Purcell Год назад +39

    1:22
    Is a "microwova" what a microwave is in the cutesy UwU world?

  • @jasonsteele6920
    @jasonsteele6920 3 года назад +75

    Sometimes my browser history after a night of drinking is nothing but variations on "hot men" and different foods...mainly pancakes.

    • @Lyncin
      @Lyncin 3 года назад +2

      U a girl?

    • @jasonsteele6920
      @jasonsteele6920 3 года назад +9

      @@Lyncin Nope! 😋

    • @Lyncin
      @Lyncin 3 года назад +2

      @@jasonsteele6920 oh ok just thought you were

    • @lazyfrog1718
      @lazyfrog1718 3 года назад +5

      @@Lyncin wow

    • @fizzystewz2custardcultmemb691
      @fizzystewz2custardcultmemb691 3 года назад +10

      @@jasonsteele6920 if your brain is asking you to eat some pancakes, just eat some pancakes.

  • @StuffandThings_
    @StuffandThings_ 3 года назад +99

    Honestly I think I prefer drunk Twitter to sober Twitter... by a lot

  • @tragicgirlfrances
    @tragicgirlfrances 3 года назад +357

    dude your cat is so cute

    • @Why-wd3zg
      @Why-wd3zg 3 года назад +9

      Dang is that the real john from the cool and new webcomic

    • @kabidostinky7910
      @kabidostinky7910 3 года назад +3

      i will find you

    • @InternetAntagonist
      @InternetAntagonist 3 года назад +3

      @@kabidostinky7910 not if i find you first

    • @kid9448
      @kid9448 3 года назад

      @@Why-wd3zg fr?

    • @ssk231
      @ssk231 3 года назад +5

      Agreed that little ball of black fur in his hand is fucking cute

  • @0That_Guy0
    @0That_Guy0 Год назад +2

    «How to get plutonium» must be a sure way to secure a spot on the FBI watchlist.

  • @theletters9623
    @theletters9623 2 года назад +102

    "have you seen my keys" is possibly the best one because I know that I would also search that if I was drunk and couldnt find my keys

  • @TaurielTheElf
    @TaurielTheElf 3 года назад +94

    2:20 I see nothing wrong with that search

    • @henryolsen8232
      @henryolsen8232 2 года назад +9

      I sympathize with that person

    • @elderadult8544
      @elderadult8544 9 месяцев назад +2

      Sometimes you need to get it off your chest. Must be friends with star wars fans

  • @edorasmarauder5761
    @edorasmarauder5761 3 года назад +75

    “Why is Florida still like that?” Easy. We get our powers from the sun.

    • @Khoose22804
      @Khoose22804 3 года назад

      🤣 yes!!!

    • @echoneo9063
      @echoneo9063 3 года назад +2

      Damn y'all superman or some shit?

    • @Khoose22804
      @Khoose22804 3 года назад +2

      @@echoneo9063 yes we are

  • @Polikaize
    @Polikaize 3 месяца назад +4

    "fuck you suit buy"
    and
    "nap"
    in that succession made me giggle like mad

    • @krazyapollo6023
      @krazyapollo6023 3 месяца назад

      They want to have then proper "suit" for a cat nap

    • @sixeleven637
      @sixeleven637 3 месяца назад

      3:47 ⁿᵃᵖ

  • @jpmz5470
    @jpmz5470 3 года назад +109

    Matt holding his cat with one hand and a wine glass in the other hand is so hilarious to me and I have no idea why

  • @lumensd
    @lumensd 2 года назад +71

    i got drunk last night and watched this and was in full blown tears 55 seconds in

  • @MamaSymphonia
    @MamaSymphonia 3 года назад +36

    "That guy with the glasses" is / was an actual website so that one at least makes sense xD

  • @twfaucet
    @twfaucet Год назад +8

    being drunk and trying to google search is like waking up and trying to talk right away. I remember my mom woke me up and i asked her if worms actually breathe.

  • @PopHappi
    @PopHappi 3 года назад +107

    3:47 idk why but the word “nap” made me laugh for some reason.

  • @Carrot.Canvas
    @Carrot.Canvas 3 года назад +77

    I have never been drunk but some of these seem like something I would google even some of the spelling is dead on

    • @likestriangles
      @likestriangles 3 года назад +12

      For some reason when I'm drunk I make a point of spelling every word correctly in texts. It takes me like 5 minutes per word haha

    • @Nat_the_Chicken
      @Nat_the_Chicken 3 года назад +2

      @@likestriangles I've never been drunk but that sounds like the sort of thing I would do ngl

    • @amayazingamaya9622
      @amayazingamaya9622 3 года назад +1

      Like yeah why wouldn't I search "dog breed with big shnout" or "what is the fulfiest animal on earth"

  • @Weldedhodag
    @Weldedhodag 3 года назад +48

    3:01
    in all versions of Age of Empires 2, Loom is a dark age tech that costs 50 gold. It provides your villagers with 1 melee armor and 2 pierce armor along with an extra 15hp. It is available to every civ in the game, and is essential to pick up either before you lure your first boar, or right before you click up to advance to feudal age. The armor and hp it provides your villagers gives them that extra bit of staying power to escape enemy raids, as well as better survive attacks from wild animals. For the Goths, Loom researches instantaneously, though it used to be a freebie at the start of the game, which allows the Goths to either age up a bit earlier or go up with one extra villager and have a stronger economy when they hit Feudal Age

    • @polakrodak8538
      @polakrodak8538 2 года назад +5

      A man of culture i see

    • @seanbabyboy100
      @seanbabyboy100 2 года назад +1

      💀💀💀 This dude wrote a whole essay💀💀💀

  • @joxii__
    @joxii__ 4 месяца назад +3

    It feels weirdly nostalgic to come back and watch this video now that Matt has nearly 1M subs

  • @jameswazhere3537
    @jameswazhere3537 2 года назад +75

    3:35 Marty McFly when he's stuck in 1955

    • @Yakkymania
      @Yakkymania Год назад +4

      that was my first thought

  • @ProfDrake
    @ProfDrake 3 года назад +52

    "how to let my cat know I missed her" is v wholesome

  • @royalblanket
    @royalblanket 3 года назад +65

    4:42 Must be wasted if you want to watch the nostalgia critic

    • @charcoal5831
      @charcoal5831 Год назад +2

      I thought of nostalgia critic

    • @MicklePickle
      @MicklePickle 4 месяца назад +1

      😢 cooked

    • @tlsshorts45
      @tlsshorts45 2 месяца назад

      He remembers it so you don’t have to

  • @bedlamite42
    @bedlamite42 4 месяца назад +3

    Rumpleschnopskins would make a good name for a band

  • @realbartsimpson
    @realbartsimpson 3 года назад +98

    4:12 made me burst out in laughter. Excellent delivery.

    • @mustafah6150
      @mustafah6150 Год назад +1

      Don’t have a Mario Bros, man!

  • @sweetcreature2475
    @sweetcreature2475 3 года назад +173

    You are literally so funny, Matt. Just subbed two days ago and I am currently obsessed with this channel!
    Edit: You should get verified

  • @zanmolecules4105
    @zanmolecules4105 2 года назад +41

    I haven’t laughed this hard until I saw the “runpleschnopskins” part

  • @slightlymaddog
    @slightlymaddog 3 месяца назад +2

    “Where do giant squids live” in lakes outside castles that are also magical schools

  • @StuffandThings_
    @StuffandThings_ 3 года назад +48

    *4:31*
    drunk existential crisis after finding out there isn't a Shrek 5...

  • @Keyboardkat3
    @Keyboardkat3 3 года назад +36

    "Why is the floor on the floor?"
    That is a danm good question.

    • @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494
      @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 Год назад +1

      My father once drunkenly lay on the floor of our carport at 2 am and declared to his assembled mates "just because I am lying down does not mean I am horizontal". He then went and chucked up in some bushes.
      He's a civil engineer.

  • @ZenoDovahkiin
    @ZenoDovahkiin 3 года назад +23

    "How to undrunk myself" is truly the question of the century.

  • @shakingh4nd
    @shakingh4nd 3 года назад +166

    I was your 401st sub. I can't fucking believe how far you've come!

  • @boomerhunter5705
    @boomerhunter5705 2 года назад +32

    It's so calming how he said "nap".

  • @PlebeianGoth
    @PlebeianGoth 2 года назад +34

    Okay I got curious about the "chubby ankles when drunk" one and looked it up:
    Short answer is it's probably because alcohol can sometimes make you retain water because of how it's prioritizing what to eliminate of the water, sugar, fats, and ethenol which you've consumed (I'm no expert and I don't know what I'm talking about, I'm just paraphrasing what I read). Best things you can do for it is to stop drinking alcohol for now, drink water to encourage your body to flush it out, and elevate your feet, and soak then in cold water if it's really bad. If that doesn't clear it up you might have a more serious underlying condition that you should see a doctor about, such as issues with your liver, heart, or kidneys.
    Thanks, other person's drunk search for making me curious!

  • @bigyoshi4555
    @bigyoshi4555 Год назад +13

    i love how he sounded like hes speaking like a sims character 1:43

  • @tatiana20109
    @tatiana20109 3 года назад +113

    9 seconds in and this is already amazing