Yes, I have been diagnosed with dependent personality disorder and my therapist gave me asertiveness training and I read books on assertiveness. So for years (decades!) I've been asserting myself and putting a lot of emphasis on doing things for myself and being self reliant. Although, I still fuck up sometimes and I still have some dependent problems! I talked to a therapist about a year ago and he said that there is no cure for a personality disorder, a personality disorder is who you are. So, it's hard knowing that there is no cure, but I still continue to make progress.
Your journey is incredibly inspiring, and I sincerely commend you for all the hard work you put in for many years! I am so glad to hear that you are doing better!
I know this is an old video, but thank you so much, especially for that sign off. It made me cry. I was diagnosed with DPD and isolated when I was 16 and now I'm 30 and much more independent, but I still struggle. I don't have trouble with daily decisions anymore, but I still feel overwhelming anxiety and seek others to help me make major life decisions (leaving/accepting jobs and school) otherwise I can't feel confident that I've made the right decision and will endlessly (actually endless) second guess it. It's so frustrating how much anxiety these things give me, and I've tried incredibly hard to not be a burden on my friends especially when some have called me clingy. I tend to seek out caretaking type people because hanging out with them makes the anxiety go away. But there's nothing more upsetting that being called clingy because they don't know the million and one decisions I make on my own that I couldn't before! Phew. Thank you for cutting me a break, because I don't usually.
I never knew about this, and so it is really cool how your channel brings out mental conditions that are either unrepresented correctly or are unheard of. Great job! I love your channel and congrats on 51 subscribers!
omg speaking of homework, i kinda refused to do homework myself and explained my teacher how i felt the home time being separate from school time so only way they could get me to do the homework was spending a bit of time after school to do whatever homework we had been assigned for the day with teacher's guidance which was perfectly okay for me and was actually really good way to go about it, i really applaud the teachers i had back then for their dedication to the needs of someone with DPD
Great presentation Jane! I began several other videos on the subject, that were psychiatrists with several degrees and YOURS was the absolute BEST! Yours has that lovely component of caring deeply for others, yet explaining what it is in a way anyone can understand. Not to mention you have a super an approachable, personality. You have a bright future in this industry to help others heal..and grow! I'd love to see you again in 10 years! . :-) I'm back in college to finish my degree in Psychology. I hope we cross paths one day. Sincerely, April Morrison. :-)
Oh goodness, thank you so much April! I really appreciate your kind words; it means so much to me! Although I don't have any degrees in psychology/psychiatry, thank you so much for loving this video nevertheless! I am so happy that you're so passionate about pursuing a degree in psychology! You also have a BRIGHT future ahead of you in this industry as well! I wish you only the best for your future endeavors! Warmest Regards, Jane
What happens when two depedents get together in a relationship/marriage? Has anyone experienced this? Did the frustration of both trying to rely on the other to make decisions get better or worse over time?
I think it's is co- dependence. And both of them are depending for different needs on each other. But individually they are going to be diagnosed with DPD. I don't know if I'm correct, please search it up on Google❤️
This is a great question! Since I'm not a mental health professional, I can't say for sure what could happen. But there are some possible trajectories I could foresee. As Vrinda mentioned, they could be functionally depending on each other to meet their own respective needs. On the flip side, their relationship could be unsuccessful due to failure of meeting their needs or pent-up frustration as you mentioned of both trying to rely on each other to make decisions. Or it could be anything else in between these two cases. If you want to learn more, please feel free to reach out to a mental health professional or refer to credible sources on the Internet.
So much worse. It doesn't work. You keep trying to put the other one on the pedistal to make decisions and that person is going to be stuck feeling awful and making decisions for both of you.
Thank you for your closing comment! I didn’t choose to have this, and its not exactly a blessing. I think what seems to suck the most about being a dependent, it that what seems to be the cure, is also the curse.... i cant find a really healthy female to spend my life with, and bc i have issues i tend to attract the wrong thing. For me, my Faith in God and asking Him to heal me, is really the only thing i have, besides some training i received from my counselor, and telling myself the truth. Thanks again for the content, and best of wishes to you!
Yup! All of the above, and #2 Big Time! My mom , who is a hoarder, believes that it's my responsibility to clean HER house. She makes a joke that my aunt used to say that I would have to raise my parents.... It's not cute or funny. A child should NEVER have to raise their parent, especially when they are a single parent with kids of their own to raise. My mom also just helps herself to walk into my house anytime she wants, without respect for my boundaries, or calling first. No wonder I've lived the majority of my life being taken advantage of by men, and now I get to spend the rest of my life continuing to unravel all of the damage she's done. I love her and she's not a terrible person, but she'd done so much damage -- it's a huge burden to put on someone's shoulders, especially when they're an innocent child and have no idea they are being subjected to such oppressive behavior.
I have a cousin who is so dependent with her mother, in the extent that she cant eat or do anything without her mom. (She is loosing so much weight lately). What are the things we can do to be a better support to her?
I just want to put out the disclaimer that I am not a therapist. However, I believe that introducing your cousin to psychotherapy would be very helpful. I think the therapy would help her tremendously, for she would gain new interpersonal skills to decrease her dependent behavior. I think what the family can do directly is to validate all her fears, worries, etc. Although it might not seem like much, words of encouragement and providing her a sense of importance, belonging, and validation can supplement her recovery even further. Also as a family, you all can try to identify the underlying causes of her dependent behavior. At what times of the day is she most dependent? How do her emotions fluctuate throughout the day? What daily activities does she need the most help with? Why is she scared to do those activities alone? Why is she so dependent on her mom? Are there other people she depends on besides her mother? Did she undergo any trauma/adverse experiences that might have started her dependent behavior? Was she always that anxious and dependent or is there a clear onset as to when this behavior happened? Does she feel distress and dysfunction due to this dependence? Is she receptive to the idea of treatment? You can try to keenly observe and even gently ask your cousin. Gathering all this information can GREATLY assist the therapist in diagnosing her and providing her the appropriate treatment. I think one thing to avoid is to treat and regard her as a "helpless child". This might exacerbate her dependent symptoms as she might further identify herself with her behavior. Of course, help her with activities, but I think helping her trying to do those activities herself with the supervision of her mom is a baby step that your cousin can take. It's completely fine if she can't do that just yet. I wish your cousin, her mom, her family, and you the best of luck! Thank you for taking the time to read this long response lol! I hope this could be of some of help :)
I was diagnosed with bpd a few years ago but I think this is what I have.... how do I go about getting redianosed (also think I'm autistic/bipolar) but scared to mention that all for fear they think I'm just looking or forcing a new diagnosis
I'm the same ..my shrink will not budge on the bpd diagnosis..she will not listen to me. She barely even knows me. While I have definate traits of bpd, I know in my heart and soul that dpd is my core condition. The only 2 times I presented to psychiatrists was when in complete crisis with anxiety/depression and both times was given a only a brief interview and questionnaire. I was so frustrated that I appeared hostile at one stage in my 1st psychiatrist's interview and I think that's what swung the bpd diagnosis, then the 2nd psychiatrist just went along with the record/ notes of the first. I do not have anger issues with anyone else but psychiatrists( because I get so frustrated that they show no understanding or empathy) I just felt they wanted to slot me into a category too quickly. They seem threatened by my self awareness and knowledgeability of different conditions because I informed them of the traits I have of different disorders and they could see I did lots of research - That was met by accusations of self diagnosis and they became defensive and very authoritive, like they resent me having any awareness or knowledge of my condition, they rather me to shut up and accept their decision as unquestionable. I can be submissive to the person that I'm dependent on because of being terrified of losing them but I have no trust in strangers like these doctors because we have no relationship and I know they don't care about me. Can you get a second opinion from another psychiatrist who doest have your notes from the current one? I feel that in public mental health establishments, they don't like to disagree with the diagnosis of other doctors that are in the same system ( its like they all stick together) but you might be able to get diagnosed differently by a private practitioner who is independent of the former establishment you attended. I just can't afford a private psychiatrist so I'm stuck with the diagnosis.
For my self I am unsure if I have this but sometimes In situations where someone said too do something and I had to reassure myself too do it and with a lot of other stuff
What is happening in the world when needing relationship and support makes you some kind of monster with a personality disorder? I’ve lived alone and don’t like it as much as being in a relationship and having companionship.
Can you talk about the affect that DPD has on people around the person ? Like how the people who have this tend to put the responsibility of their happiness on other people 🤦🏽♂️that in itself can be very draining on a person
This is a great question! I cannot speak for everyone since everyone can experience different effects when interacting with people with DPD in their lives. Individuals with DPD do have a tendency to rely on people close to them for their emotional/physical needs, but it's important to recognize that: 1. These characteristics aren't their fault, as personality disorders in general are complicated issues that develop due to many different factors. 2. Creating healthy, balanced relationships IS possible for individuals with DPD through awareness of their condition and appropriate treatment. If the symptoms of DPD become very severe, reaching out to a mental health professional is one of the most pivotal steps in initiating recovery.
@@ofthemind8730 Yes I need help because I know someone who has this disorder. I really care about this person that’s why I’m seeking help and advice. This person is very clingy and puts the responsibility of her Happiness on me and it’s very draining. I feel bad because I really do care for her, it’s just she’s so Emotionally Fragile, I cant be honest with her. Part of me wants to show her this video to get her to look in the mirror but, she won’t. She’d actually get defensive and and Mad🤦🏽♂️ it gets so bad because she acts like she can’t function when I’m not around which drains me mentally and physically. Just need help
Yes, I have been diagnosed with dependent personality disorder and my therapist gave me asertiveness training and I read books on assertiveness. So for years (decades!) I've been asserting myself and putting a lot of emphasis on doing things for myself and being self reliant. Although, I still fuck up sometimes and I still have some dependent problems! I talked to a therapist about a year ago and he said that there is no cure for a personality disorder, a personality disorder is who you are. So, it's hard knowing that there is no cure, but I still continue to make progress.
Your journey is incredibly inspiring, and I sincerely commend you for all the hard work you put in for many years! I am so glad to hear that you are doing better!
That’s wonderful - can you recommend some of your favorite books on assertiveness?
I'm 22 and been struggling with dpd forever. It's not debilitating but it's hard.... Its like being a lost puppy.
I know this is an old video, but thank you so much, especially for that sign off. It made me cry. I was diagnosed with DPD and isolated when I was 16 and now I'm 30 and much more independent, but I still struggle. I don't have trouble with daily decisions anymore, but I still feel overwhelming anxiety and seek others to help me make major life decisions (leaving/accepting jobs and school) otherwise I can't feel confident that I've made the right decision and will endlessly (actually endless) second guess it. It's so frustrating how much anxiety these things give me, and I've tried incredibly hard to not be a burden on my friends especially when some have called me clingy. I tend to seek out caretaking type people because hanging out with them makes the anxiety go away. But there's nothing more upsetting that being called clingy because they don't know the million and one decisions I make on my own that I couldn't before! Phew. Thank you for cutting me a break, because I don't usually.
I never knew about this, and so it is really cool how your channel brings out mental conditions that are either unrepresented correctly or are unheard of. Great job! I love your channel and congrats on 51 subscribers!
Thank you very much! Feel free to request any other video topics you would like to see in the future!
omg speaking of homework, i kinda refused to do homework myself and explained my teacher how i felt the home time being separate from school time so only way they could get me to do the homework was spending a bit of time after school to do whatever homework we had been assigned for the day with teacher's guidance which was perfectly okay for me and was actually really good way to go about it, i really applaud the teachers i had back then for their dedication to the needs of someone with DPD
Great presentation Jane! I began several other videos on the subject, that were psychiatrists with several degrees and YOURS was the absolute BEST! Yours has that lovely component of caring deeply for others, yet explaining what it is in a way anyone can understand. Not to mention you have a super an approachable, personality. You have a bright future in this industry to help others heal..and grow! I'd love to see you again in 10 years! . :-) I'm back in college to finish my degree in Psychology. I hope we cross paths one day. Sincerely, April Morrison. :-)
Oh goodness, thank you so much April! I really appreciate your kind words; it means so much to me! Although I don't have any degrees in psychology/psychiatry, thank you so much for loving this video nevertheless! I am so happy that you're so passionate about pursuing a degree in psychology! You also have a BRIGHT future ahead of you in this industry as well! I wish you only the best for your future endeavors! Warmest Regards, Jane
What happens when two depedents get together in a relationship/marriage? Has anyone experienced this? Did the frustration of both trying to rely on the other to make decisions get better or worse over time?
I think it's is co- dependence. And both of them are depending for different needs on each other. But individually they are going to be diagnosed with DPD. I don't know if I'm correct, please search it up on Google❤️
This is a great question! Since I'm not a mental health professional, I can't say for sure what could happen. But there are some possible trajectories I could foresee. As Vrinda mentioned, they could be functionally depending on each other to meet their own respective needs. On the flip side, their relationship could be unsuccessful due to failure of meeting their needs or pent-up frustration as you mentioned of both trying to rely on each other to make decisions. Or it could be anything else in between these two cases. If you want to learn more, please feel free to reach out to a mental health professional or refer to credible sources on the Internet.
So much worse. It doesn't work. You keep trying to put the other one on the pedistal to make decisions and that person is going to be stuck feeling awful and making decisions for both of you.
Dean! 😍 Great video! 😁
Ayyyeeee you be getting those views!! Keep getting at it! Your channel is great :)
Thank you so much for your endless support, Joanne!
Thank you for your closing comment! I didn’t choose to have this, and its not exactly a blessing. I think what seems to suck the most about being a dependent, it that what seems to be the cure, is also the curse.... i cant find a really healthy female to spend my life with, and bc i have issues i tend to attract the wrong thing. For me, my Faith in God and asking Him to heal me, is really the only thing i have, besides some training i received from my counselor, and telling myself the truth. Thanks again for the content, and best of wishes to you!
Thank you very much, sir! Best of wishes to you as well!
Lovely sweater! Thanks for sharing your insight.
Thank you very much for your kind words, sir!
Yup! All of the above, and #2 Big Time! My mom , who is a hoarder, believes that it's my responsibility to clean HER house. She makes a joke that my aunt used to say that I would have to raise my parents.... It's not cute or funny. A child should NEVER have to raise their parent, especially when they are a single parent with kids of their own to raise. My mom also just helps herself to walk into my house anytime she wants, without respect for my boundaries, or calling first. No wonder I've lived the majority of my life being taken advantage of by men, and now I get to spend the rest of my life continuing to unravel all of the damage she's done. I love her and she's not a terrible person, but she'd done so much damage -- it's a huge burden to put on someone's shoulders, especially when they're an innocent child and have no idea they are being subjected to such oppressive behavior.
I have a cousin who is so dependent with her mother, in the extent that she cant eat or do anything without her mom. (She is loosing so much weight lately). What are the things we can do to be a better support to her?
I just want to put out the disclaimer that I am not a therapist. However, I believe that introducing your cousin to psychotherapy would be very helpful. I think the therapy would help her tremendously, for she would gain new interpersonal skills to decrease her dependent behavior. I think what the family can do directly is to validate all her fears, worries, etc. Although it might not seem like much, words of encouragement and providing her a sense of importance, belonging, and validation can supplement her recovery even further. Also as a family, you all can try to identify the underlying causes of her dependent behavior. At what times of the day is she most dependent? How do her emotions fluctuate throughout the day? What daily activities does she need the most help with? Why is she scared to do those activities alone? Why is she so dependent on her mom? Are there other people she depends on besides her mother? Did she undergo any trauma/adverse experiences that might have started her dependent behavior? Was she always that anxious and dependent or is there a clear onset as to when this behavior happened? Does she feel distress and dysfunction due to this dependence? Is she receptive to the idea of treatment? You can try to keenly observe and even gently ask your cousin. Gathering all this information can GREATLY assist the therapist in diagnosing her and providing her the appropriate treatment. I think one thing to avoid is to treat and regard her as a "helpless child". This might exacerbate her dependent symptoms as she might further identify herself with her behavior. Of course, help her with activities, but I think helping her trying to do those activities herself with the supervision of her mom is a baby step that your cousin can take. It's completely fine if she can't do that just yet. I wish your cousin, her mom, her family, and you the best of luck! Thank you for taking the time to read this long response lol! I hope this could be of some of help :)
👀
😮i didnt know this was a thing but i knew the moment i saw it it relates to me alot
Thankyou so much for the video
My pleasure!
I was diagnosed with bpd a few years ago but I think this is what I have.... how do I go about getting redianosed (also think I'm autistic/bipolar) but scared to mention that all for fear they think I'm just looking or forcing a new diagnosis
I'm the same ..my shrink will not budge on the bpd diagnosis..she will not listen to me. She barely even knows me.
While I have definate traits of bpd, I know in my heart and soul that dpd is my core condition. The only 2 times I presented to psychiatrists was when in complete crisis with anxiety/depression and both times was given a only a brief interview and questionnaire. I was so frustrated that I appeared hostile at one stage in my 1st psychiatrist's interview and I think that's what swung the bpd diagnosis, then the 2nd psychiatrist just went along with the record/ notes of the first.
I do not have anger issues with anyone else but psychiatrists( because I get so frustrated that they show no understanding or empathy) I just felt they wanted to slot me into a category too quickly. They seem threatened by my self awareness and knowledgeability of different conditions because I informed them of the traits I have of different disorders and they could see I did lots of research - That was met by accusations of self diagnosis and they became defensive and very authoritive, like they resent me having any awareness or knowledge of my condition, they rather me to shut up and accept their decision as unquestionable.
I can be submissive to the person that I'm dependent on because of being terrified of losing them but I have no trust in strangers like these doctors because we have no relationship and I know they don't care about me.
Can you get a second opinion from another psychiatrist who doest have your notes from the current one?
I feel that in public mental health establishments, they don't like to disagree with the diagnosis of other doctors that are in the same system ( its like they all stick together) but you might be able to get diagnosed differently by a private practitioner who is independent of the former establishment you attended.
I just can't afford a private psychiatrist so I'm stuck with the diagnosis.
I was typing but i didnt know how to explain myself when it comes to cant finish something because your in need of someones help
For my self I am unsure if I have this but sometimes In situations where someone said too do something and I had to reassure myself too do it and with a lot of other stuff
Thank you for educating me :)
My pleasure, Mel!
thank you so much :D my mom has it andi think i might have picked it up
You're welcome! :)
What is happening in the world when needing relationship and support makes you some kind of monster with a personality disorder? I’ve lived alone and don’t like it as much as being in a relationship and having companionship.
Can you talk about the affect that DPD has on people around the person ? Like how the people who have this tend to put the responsibility of their happiness on other people 🤦🏽♂️that in itself can be very draining on a person
This is a great question! I cannot speak for everyone since everyone can experience different effects when interacting with people with DPD in their lives. Individuals with DPD do have a tendency to rely on people close to them for their emotional/physical needs, but it's important to recognize that:
1. These characteristics aren't their fault, as personality disorders in general are complicated issues that develop due to many different factors.
2. Creating healthy, balanced relationships IS possible for individuals with DPD through awareness of their condition and appropriate treatment.
If the symptoms of DPD become very severe, reaching out to a mental health professional is one of the most pivotal steps in initiating recovery.
@@ofthemind8730 Yes I need help because I know someone who has this disorder. I really care about this person that’s why I’m seeking help and advice. This person is very clingy and puts the responsibility of her Happiness on me and it’s very draining. I feel bad because I really do care for her, it’s just she’s so Emotionally Fragile, I cant be honest with her. Part of me wants to show her this video to get her to look in the mirror but, she won’t. She’d actually get defensive and and Mad🤦🏽♂️ it gets so bad because she acts like she can’t function when I’m not around which drains me mentally and physically. Just need help
I realise just now i will grow up ,how im gonna live life 😂always telling my lover :I feel i might end up alone
Are you studying this?
I have DPD. It has ruined my life. I'm a grown baby.
Perfectly describes my ex