Big thanks to everyone in this episode who opened up to us about loneliness. It’s a feeling that can take many forms, and it isn't always an easy thing to talk about. If you’ve dealt with loneliness before, what’s helped you the most? We want to hear in the comments. Keep an eye out for new, free episodes of Glad You Asked every Wednesday. And don't forget to subscribe to our channel and turn on notifications (:bell:) to get more Vox videos: bit.ly/voxyoutube -christophe & alex
Vox Loneliness to me is basically this challenge that you have to get over with. I am not so sure how long I have dealt with it but I am pretty sure to say that its something that would eat you up. It was very difficult to find help and people to talk to about it since most of the people I have met just basically go in about a week or so. It took me awhile to realize that I shouldn’t rely on others to help me with it since they just make me more vulnerable and desperate for a friend. I learned to cope with it by giving myself some time to think about my needs and I also distracted myself by doing activities that I enjoy doing. In my end, it wasn’t really that bad. Looking back at it, it was just an awful year. I have met a new friend and I feel like Im starting to bond with my parents and relatives. I am glad Im able to comment this and I really hope someone reads this whole thing and just appreciates it. Thanks..
I’d really like to know the app you use in the beginning of this episode, would probably help a lot of people with an easy option to make friends and would really appreciate it.
Well my best friend drowned and washed up 2 days later in epping. My girlfriend cheated on and left me with a guy at work that looked to be up for a promotion which he got and promptly promoted her. My cat died of cancer and my ex is coming to cush me with more child support. This is all within the span of 3 months. I only get to see my daughter every other weekend and my family doesn't speak to each other unless forced. So ya im lonely and depressed and suicidal.
Thank you for this upload. I too have loneliness issues. My only contact with ppl is on live-streams which I love and has literally saved me, I think but I do need more.
David Beaulieu David wow, I’m so sorry. What state do u live in? If you would like to talk with someone, let me know. I could be a sounding board at least for you. Your choice. I have lost all friendships bc they proved to be narcissists and not trustworthy for me. Long story. Authenticity is huge in my book.
I think being completely alone it's worst for me.. I mean , no one to talk to, no one being around me, man that hurts Edit:I thought she was talking about people around you who cares about you like friends and family but still feel lonely whoops
Its considered odd because it's like someone is admitting that they are lonely and these days people dont want to lower their ego's by admitting weaknesses in themselves. But yeah it's a shame.
I've always been kind of a loner to some degree. S I find that some people go out of their way to create tension when you are around them. So on that respect I prefere my own company.on the other hand . Yeah I like the company of certain people's who I can relate to.. but lucky for me I can operate on that level of understanding... thanx for listening
I think they more mean like people who are more that just your coworkers. So people you would go out to the movies, have a board game night or do fun things together. So not your coworkers which who you would talk to to distract yourself from work, but also not your best friend which you would tell everthing
I once had a friend I could say "I love you bro" to. We were friends for almost 20 years but he died in a car accident a few years ago. I miss you Lorenzo, & I still love you bro... R.I.P.
I will suggest you to call all of ex class mates and invite them to your place for a mini party or reunion. Ask them about what's going on in their lives. Maybe some of them reciprocate the action and call you back someday or maybe even invite you to their place. Hopefully, you will end up with some friends and find common interests.
Because they no longer friends... in today world.. they just to had someone to talk to when bored and a friend on Facebook... a lot of friends I had like 2 years care more about their part time job...
If you allow just about anyone in your life because you want friends, you are in danger of people taking advantage of you, draining you of your energy and wasting you time. People dont want to be alone they WANT companionship but they cant even be alone with themselves first.
@@nla5307 The fear of being taken advantage of is one of the main reasons people are lonely in the first place. If you're not willing to take that risk, you deserve to be alone.
Men are lonely people...and less talkative and expressive than women...also men experience loneliness in relationship section....women have become strange nowadays
As a guy when im lonely i just find some quiet corner in a pub and drink, it helps until i stop and sober up. I have a binge drink problem, even right now its a sunday here in the uk where i live. Im in bed flicking through all these videos and i feel anxiety alittle, thinking about things too much i hate it.
@@RaikenXion hey, I just hope you are doing great in your life. Try to reduce your drinking habit. All the best. A lot of love from a 24 yo random guy from India.
For all of us that have dealt with it, we know that socializing wouldn't really help that much, because what we need is probably to get actually connected to other people, that's not something that we can get easily, like when i talk to people, it might seem that we have this conversation, but there's always that empty feeling remain there because you don't really care about what you're talking about, or because you can't really connected to that person.
I have the same feeling. Then there are these persons with who you naturally click and you can talk about weird stuff and feel great. I'm not really into meeting new people tho
Yup. Socializing (for me) is worthless if it’s empty/done with people that I do not actually connect with. There’s an instant natural chemistry that either exists btw people or doesn’t. I hardly feel it, and know that I’m not going to with most people. But when I do, it’s incredibly rare and special so I do my best to hold on to it.
Yeah I get u. Sometimes I feel lonely so I try and talk to people but then I realize just how disconnected and different I am from them-further increasing the deafening siren of loneliness.
Often times I feel lonely cause after a night of socialising, I go back home to my lonely apartment. That contrast makes me feel even more lonely. Also, even after a nice night with friends I ruminate over the things that I might have said or done wrong. So the effects of a fun socialising event are overshadowed by my own judgement and fear.
I think I lost every friend I had, they made their own lives, followed their careers, made other friends. I'm an introvert and my social skills are terrible, I don't have any problem with being alone tho, I enjoy my own company, but sometimes hurts feeling like everyone's lives would be the same without you.
Same. It hurts me to think that no one would be affected by my presence or absence. It's terrifying, the fear of actually ending up lonely in life and not amounting to anything and not meaning anything to anyone.
We are lonely, as we have problems with social skills, in a physical situation. The anxiety of doing or saying the wrong thing, and the awkwardness of dealing with the consequence. So it's easier not to do in the first instance. Social relationships can be held at arms length on smartphones, for some people. And some people, it's the ONLY way to talk to others.
RUclips makes me less lonely, it's the only place I can find people who are talking about stuff that interests me and lights up my soul. Sadly I watch it alone and it only talks but rarely listens. Still sometimes you write a comment and people like what you said and there's this sense of connection. No matter how insignificant, it's a small success.
People's ego are too high... everyone has these fantasies of dating or being friends with someone super attracting to the eye instead of being realistic instead of having a normal relationship with people. making friends now days also feels complicated because it's always that feeling of being judged...
LOUDER for the people in the back!! I totally feel you..maybe because I've met this kind of people before.. when I meet someone I'm always thinking" what would they think about me,what if they would judge me for the way I look or dress "
beeing lonely is a terrible feeling and the worste part is you can be surrounded by many amazing people who love and care about you but the feeling is still there and won't go away
When lockdowns began, I went on a 100 mile hike on the Arizona trail. I found myself feeling less lonely “all by myself” in the middle of nowhere, compared to not connecting with not many in my immediate physical location. That space to be with myself with nobody to answer to and nowhere to be really helped when I returned to society. Society has a way of making us feel lonely while surrounded by millions of people. The ego mindset of “I got this” and “me first” is what I find causes me to feel loneliness.
Sitting outside in silence just listening to the wind and looking for small animals, i've never felt lonely. Yet all the time when i'm around other people, I feel only lonely..
When i feel lonely, i just try to accept it, because no matter what i do, i just can't seem to get rid of it, so i usually just wait, accept the fact that i'm lonely, and be aware that this is not something that'll last forever.
Being lonely is different from being alone, even when you’re not alone you can still feel lonely. It’s a sad truth that most people failed to recognise.
My theory is: friendship takes time. When we're kids we spend time with each other, get used to the company, naturally exchange personal info, go through some life events along with the other person.. for me this forms friendships.
When we grow up it's much harder to build those friendships, but not impossible. I recommend some course to do, a subject of your interest and of your future friends: pottery, 2nd language, dance.. also there's [positive] endorphin involved. :)
That’s a great idea. I also think that some people make friends more quickly than others. Unfortunately I take a lot of time to make good friends and I’m part of a military family so that isn’t ideal. Generally a soon as I finally feel comfortable somewhere where we’re living, we have to move again and start all over. I also think that as you get older making friends become harder. When you’re younger you are in school(unless you’re homeschooled) which gives you many opportunities to make friends with other students. As you get older you generally have less time to spend with friends. Once you’re done with school your options for friendship decrease too.
Very true, I've known my closest friend for years now. I can't remember a moment in which I didn't know her. I also think that friendship lies in trust. If I can't trust a person I can't be their friend. If these two theories are combined I can say that I trust my friends on varying levels. My best friend, I trust her with my life. The less time I've known my friends the less I trust them. Same goes the other way around.
Trust is an issue in our society. Reaching out could mean being used or being hurt. It doesn't have to be that way, but it's definitely a concern. Still.....think of what you're missing out on.
Me he encerrado, tengo miedo de seguir siendo rechazada por fea, por no ser muy inteligente y por pobre, ahora la vejez está llegando y vivo muy deprimida de pensar, qué va a ser de mi, sin trabajo, sin dinero y sin salud, quiero morir pronto y rápido y no ser más una molestia.
Justine most of the people that feel lonely start to get used not to talk to other people. This makes it harder for them to socialize, and they become more shy, or introvert
@@serafinaobi Yeah I'd say so too. When you're in that state of mind it's easy to think the world is shut off to the idea, but there's plenty of people out there who are happy to reciprocate if you just try to engage them.
Yes. Exactly. I’m in a new neighborhood where I’ve been for 5 years. Why don’t kids play outside? I never see anyone out there. A brand new parks sits right in the center of the housing development but it stands empty. Before I came here I never sat down. Now there is nothing to do; the house is done, everything where it’s supposed to go. I’m homesick for the place where everyone knew me. I rarely leave the house because I hate not knowing where places are. I want to go home.
Make a second episode. This is truly one of the largest epidemics of our time that no one is talking about. Being in tech and the future will bring this to the forefront for so many males coming up. I’ve also tried apps to make guy friends.
I feel lucky to be live in my country, in countries like Greece, Italy, Turkey feeling lonely is harder because people are so lively, nobody is afraid of meeting new people, I have many close friends that I met in bus, tram, shopping mall, Cafe... we don't afraid of showing our affection so I can't even imagine how hard to find friends in Nordic countries, they don't even sit next to each other in tram or bus, or they can't talk without beer.
I do not totally agree with your claim. You can live in Norway and have a great social life or live in Eygpt and be agonized by life of loneliness and isolation. It primarily depends on your closet social environment and who you're with most of the time, but in general you made a point.
Not really. Things can be infinitely worse than they are now. Loneliness is not even close to how bad it can get. Although it does tend to make people dramatic and self-aggrandizing and make statements like this, acting like they know suffering better than anyone else.
This is one of my favorite videos on here. The one romeo's advice was so valuable: every transition has the potential for loneliness. It's on you to make the difference. Makes me think of when I first moved out from home. :)
I'm starting to doubt myself...I find myself always with no friends without even falling out with anyone or anything. We just end up keeping distance and i'm really bad at keeping intouch with people. The more I get older i find myself being less intresting being social
I know exactly what you mean. And thos could be a part of a bigger thing. I was always thought to s7ck it up. Never talk about feeling. Never heard the people who adopted me tell me they love me. You could have depresion. I've never taken meds for it even though the military diagnosed me with it right before my discharge. But I just heard that there are triggers for depression. As u can tell I never even looked in to it. But with my niece in the hospital for over a week now from swallowing a bunch of antidepressants I looked stuff up for her.
"I tell them they need to form a real relationship with someone who needs them." Spoken like someone out of touch with the struggles of loneliness and social isolation. For many of us, this is exactly what we want and are trying to do and cannot achieve. As if struggling with loneliness isn't hard enough, we have people whose only answers for us so often are some form of blaming us. Even if someone is to blame for their own loneliness, just blaming them isn't answer and isn't helpful.
Having grown up in a small village, I don't think I've ever felt loneliness. It wasn't until I moved to a large city when I realized it can be pretty lonely. Even though you're surrounded by so many people it's pretty cold. The bigger the city is, Tokyo or London, the lonelier it feels. Playing team sports has definitely helped. When you're with a group of people with one goal, you develop this camaraderie and it's a pretty nice thing to be a part of.
Watching this in the context of quarantine is quite depressing, it demonstrates why it is so hard to do this effort and place the question that while we are keeping our physical health by doing this we are threatening your mental health . Thank you for always making top quality content!
People crying about loneliness because of all the illegal, totally, completely and entirely unnecessary tyranny currently being Illegally forced on the entire world for absolutely no good reason other than more power and control over us always puts a dark smile on my face, I'm sorry. Welcome to my life L-O-N-G before these pure evil creatures in governments initiated Event 201 worldwide.
My ex girlfriend distanced me away from my friends and social life, the worst part is that she also made me feel lonelier inside our relationship. Guy’s, be careful out there with those partners.
The problem today is everyone "pretends" they have many friends to not seem lonely or to make them seem higher on the social scale. Beacuse of this people make it seem that they arent close, and create toxic relationships. If only we could embrace this lonliness and be more open to one antoher life would be so much easier.
This hits really hard for me. I've had horrible social anxiety and a predisposition for anxiety/depression starting in high school. It's only in the last few years that I've started going to therapy, meditating, and challenging myself that I've found the courage to put myself in uncomfortable social situations and came out with social circles that nourish my social/emotional needs. It took several failed starts (went through 4 seasons as a free agent in intramural sports, multiple Asian-American meetups, and reaching out to old acquaintances to arrive at 3 social circles I enjoy and feel included in), but I never gave up. This piece by Vox really highlights that most people probably feel the same way as you to some degree and are aching to connect. It just takes someone to have the courage to be vulnerable and put themselves out there. Why not you?
Z Z I really need to do this, but it’s so difficult. I struggle to reach out and rarely get invited to things. I feel pressured to get Instagram because that’s where most organising of social events happens among my generation, but the reason I deleted it in the first place was because it lowered my self-esteem and I have privacy concerns about it. It’s a never-ending cycle. I can’t break into a friend group, I only have individual acquaintances who I only meet because I attend the same College as them. What did you talk to people about when you were breaking into friend groups? Most of the time average people talk about things like their social life, or activities they do. But the problem is I don’t have a social life or the courage to partake in activities so I struggle to talk to people, and I can’t find a group of intellectuals to discuss philosophy with either lol.
Your friends are lucky to have a person who appreciates them as much as you and people who feel the way you felt would be lucky to come across your comment which shows them that a change in attitude and the support of family can get them where they want to be.
@@Mariana-kc3ms That's a hard situation to be in. Do you think it'll be possible to try and get more connections outside of school? I'm sure there are still people in the school who will be willing to have that sort of "college experience" social life. You deserve the best. Good luck.
@@Miquelalalaa I personally feel it was a good idea to remove Instagram. It harmed you, and so it's good that you did not keep it for that reason. I personally would suggest volunteering, there, you can meet groups of people, and it isn't too direct. And about philosophy, I know this sounds a tad odd, but, there are people online who I know share that interest. Either it is on Reddit, Discord, heck, even facebook, those little groups (Although they aren't as "Direct") still should be a good way to channel that interest. Good luck. You deserve the best.
“...sometimes I feel a loneliness so intense that my rib cage hurts and it just feels like I don’t even want to get up in the morning or move” Relatable
I read a study today that said most people avoid lonely people - because they're lonely. They fear lonely people will be clingy. So, that's not helpful to lonely people, is it.
It's true. Can be a result of oversharing. I've touched upon how this has affected myself. Take a look if you get time. Great observation you made there.
A lot of things in life are like that. The people who are most desperate for love are the ones who don't find it because potential partners find their desperation unattractive. The people (assuming they are qualified) who desperately need a job because they are poor are the ones who usually don't get it because companies think they are not in demand in the market. The parents who really want the best for their kids and sacrifice everything are the ones who get the least attention from their children. The small businesses (again assuming they make quality items) who desperately need more customers to stay in business get less customers than a big chain who has an established brand name.
I’m introvert and typically don’t need others to feel okay, but sometimes I surprise myself at how easily I get along someone I literally just met. One time someone else asked me if I were friends from before meeting him, because apparently we talked as if we were long friends..
I've had that experience many times also. Maybe long periods of solitude (not loneliness) helps clear your mind so you're more sociable when you do meet someone in your travels.
Just wanted to say. But the loneliness isn't the result of hyper connectivity and internet. It's a result of the highly individualistic and consumerist culture we've been brought up in. Another product of late stage capitalism.
@@brandon9172 Don't conflate hyper-individualism with the free market (using a different word than the vague capitalism). If it wasn't for the internet, people would be forced to face each other in person to interact with the free market to get what they want.
Why people get lonely: - tight school-schedules in higher classes take the opportunity of students to build friendships outside of school - School ends eventually - People lose contact since everyone goes different ways - loneliness applies Same with most job-scenarios, you work all day, only to see your colleagues, until you might quit your job to make it extremely difficult meeting up with them again. Shifts might make this even impossible.
I’ve studies loneliness my whole life. At nearly 50, I still don’t fully understand it. I will say that I notice a lot of people who are lonely, tend to have a lack of trust with their closest inner circle and even themselves. Unconditional acceptance of another person is probably a great way to advance personal relationships and increase both confidence and trust. Just a thought.
I’m like that I don’t trust my inner ⭕️ but smh when it comes to strangers I just trust them,Idk why Ahahaha & it’s true I don’t have trust in myself either
I can totally relate everytime they said “loneliness is even bigger fear than death”!! It’s even not about having no friends or no family!! For me it is having no one to call your life partner!!
I never had any friend all my life. I see people laughing, enjoying and I just see them and say to myself why can't I enjoy life like them. I don't even feel connected to my parents.
I guess when many people around you are talking to themselves, you being alone sticks out like a sore thumb rather than you being alone in your own room
i guess it does depend on who you're around, who you relate to. if you're surrounded by people you don't get along with, you're better off alone, but only for a time, i think.
We are lonely now not because of the internet or our busy life but because people are mean and conniving, it is all about what we can get out of the next person and use them up until nothing left and move on to the next one, this is exactly why, also people are super weird this time and day and act like this don't want another human connection and that makes other people steer clear from other people.
@@yinndragonyang yeah I was talking to a chick that was by herself in Gamestop today and she sounded like she had no energy or happiness. Having a hot guy talk to her didn't even matter. I was even going to offer to be her friend but I have stopped that recently because people are becoming wayyyy too uninspirational.
@@justinnix1347 you guys are SO right! Many people look at me like I'm weird to constantly be joyful every day. People are so miserable and complain about first world problems all day. It's a disgusting existence.
I remember that there's a saying: "Loneliness is to be avoided, solitude is to be sought". Actually we can sometimes stay alone but try not to dissociate ourselves from the outside world.
Volunteering helped me. And being “busy” doing fun things - actually make the time to plan things with the friends you do have. And talking about “real things” instead of chit chat - the more vulnerable you are with each other the closer you generally feel. (Like those 36 question “that make strangers fall in love”.) Avoid drinking on your own at night and instead write catch up emails to friends/cousins/neighbours/old colleagues. Oh, and recognise that how you feel isn’t really about your outside circumstances, it’s about the stuff going on in your head. I really recommend Dr. Amy Johnson for books/podcast/RUclips vids that helped me realise that.
I'm honestly loving this series. Not only am I learning so much, it's also fascinating to see that they do such deep research on topics that are often ignored 😁
I, too, had a wonderful grandpa. When God takes away a much-loved person, He leaves the best parts of that person in your heart and head. He was a preacher and so special, sparkly, and jubilant. He was a man of faith.
I relate to this. It prevents me from sleeping which makes me feel even worse. Also, whenever I'm outside I feel hyper vigilante causing me check my surroundings for "threats". I just wish I could sleep soundly at night without this irking feeling of loneliness.
I've been through the pain and I could assure you if you could pull this more positive each days, you'll grow up a real badass not needing anything anyone around
1:36 I’m in college and I have 0 close friends I feel I can talk to. My boyfriend is the only person I can fully open up to but I try not to rely on him so much because I know unchecked dependency gets toxic.
There is a lot of fear, you don't feel safe an you become isolated, IAM turning 75 an I have a son who is the only person that visits me, but IV just recently met a new neighbors. Two who have been very kind to me, and IAM beginning to trust them with my feelings of lonlyness, we used to have a lunch club were I lived and it was marvelous to be out twice weekly, it stopped because of COVID an never started up again, so I don't know how bad my health would have got if I didn't have my son and these two neighbors now, it's a terrible thing lonlyness you get more unhealthy so IAM glad you put this up god bless you.
No its dosent need to be that way. Lonelynes is Always part of our life ,but u have to do something to make you happy..Life is too short,. We have to injoy Life that we have, in every precis moment...💜💜💜
Because people don't really know how to react when you walk up to ask them out and think you're too forward and it triggers their social anxiety. But then dating apps make people disposable or allow people to dream unrealistic "standards". I feel like people work best together when it's not a perfect fit. We're in a strange time.
Very strange time. In addition, all of the health issues people are facing nowadays and the changing social norms add to the complexity of interaction with others.
PaseoDeLaEstrella because asking for someone’s time when you don’t know them IS weird and forward. Compliment people, strike conversation, make kind gestures and expect nothing in return. People will flock to you when you do this. Maybe a partner will notice this and seek you out. Not every nice gesture has to be for a thank you, for a phone number, for a date, etc. People should learn to be nice without expecting a reward for it.
I knew I was lonely when someone asked me to tell my best friend's name. I was mostly rejected by people whom I conversed with, because I was different. It's not that I chose to be lonely but I was made to feel lonely. Hardly anyone would come and ask me why I feel low. Even if I am in a big crowd, the lack of conversations make me feel loner. Realised that I feel much happier being lonely than craving for societal acceptance.
I love this, I feel like it's become some forbidden thing to want to engage with the people you love. I have seen people who are unhealthily clingy, but just wanting to be around someone, talk to them, and enjoy their company isn't a sin..
The main idea of what I have understood is that we need to be more open to one another and share our feelings without the fear of rejection. Only then will we form bonds.
Because people aren’t as genuine, honest, sincere and just NICE to each other!, people will use, abuse, take advantage of your kindness, IF U LET THEM!, so most of us , just stay home and wAtch Season 1 of Modern Family to laugh!
I recently have blocked even the closest friends I have, the more I think about it they are the ones contribute the most of my stress. I feel more peaceful now that I don't need to hear they telling me to change this and that about my life
I have always been alone to an extent. I am content with being by myself, and rarely get lonely. But mental health professionals know that being alone can sometimes mean you fall through the cracks when you are in crisis. So you need to be self-aware about what your needs are and know how to ask for help.
I am so grateful for this episode, it has highlighted how I have been feeling in social situations since I was 6, and that is due to bullying. That was 28 years ago! I’m no longer bullied, but my mind is stuck. Socializing is a conscious effort and I have to constantly train myself to not take things personal.
Because of the chaos of war and then fleeing to a totally foreign culture before I was five I learnt early in life that it's safer to be alone. So I've spent most of my life alone, often not having any human contact for days at a time. It's not good.
I feel like this was written for me. It came in a time that I truly needed it. Thank you so much for the insight. I have felt like I'm alone in this feeling for so long. I'm often rejected socially. I won't make friends anymore for fear that they'll go away. I always smile and say hi. I want to help others anyway I can but something about me just turns people off. I was pushed away by all but one person that I grew up with because of my political views. I'm from Arkansas and I'm not racist. I know a lot of people that are so as of 2016 my loneliness doubled. I hope this video helps heal hearts the way that it has helped mine.
I just wanted to say I can relate to this post. Since I was young I've always gone to multicultural schools so now that I'm an adult I don't see color & I get a lot of rejection & shade thrown my way because of it. If you don't mind me asking how do you deal with this type of issue. Because it's just not in me to be racist
I'm so lonely that I'm watching a video about loneliness. In my early 20s I had more than 10 very close friends and around 30 good friends. Now in my late 30s, I'm married, moved to a few new countries, lost contact with almost everyone and can't say I have any friends now. Only people I interact with are my wife and 2 kids. Went back to university, but it's all online. It is sad and it's making me depressed. I thought sharing might make me feel a bit better
@Sammy B Jesus came to save all mankind; not just his people the Jews but the gentiles as well- I'll admit organized religion has hijacked God's Word and use it to serve their own purposes. But Jesus came to be a light to the world and save mankind from their sins. If some individuals refuse to humble themselves to God and His Word and admit they are a sinner and ask for forgiveness, that is their personal choice. Mankind does not determine what is or is not sin, God does. If some wish to reject God's laws and rules and substitute their own, they have the freedom and choice to do so. The love and compassion Jesus showed to sinners represents God's mercy, but forgiveness and repentance must be sought if one's heart for God is sincere.
The Indians would be dying of it and you would not even feel the impact of it. Same for my Chinese brethren, except they are busy with the whole Corona thing, sadly. 😔
@@ttrr7615 I think this for this problem, with their particularly isolationist culture - that's to say; in accordance to leaving each other alone ("politeness" -> loneliness) - they could be at the forefront of solving this issue, with it being particularly prevalent there, to be unseen and unheard. Psychological studies, statistics and informed cultural change /Could/ help solve this phenomenon. I would say it's arguable that their nut is on a whole new level of uncrackable. So maybe solve for that case, solve for many?
@@ttrr7615 They're refering to "Kodokushi"; It literally means "lonely death". It's a well documented, growing problem Japan and it's heartwrenchingly sad.
Big thanks to everyone in this episode who opened up to us about loneliness. It’s a feeling that can take many forms, and it isn't always an easy thing to talk about.
If you’ve dealt with loneliness before, what’s helped you the most? We want to hear in the comments.
Keep an eye out for new, free episodes of Glad You Asked every Wednesday. And don't forget to subscribe to our channel and turn on notifications (:bell:) to get more Vox videos: bit.ly/voxyoutube
-christophe & alex
Vox Loneliness to me is basically this challenge that you have to get over with. I am not so sure how long I have dealt with it but I am pretty sure to say that its something that would eat you up. It was very difficult to find help and people to talk to about it since most of the people I have met just basically go in about a week or so. It took me awhile to realize that I shouldn’t rely on others to help me with it since they just make me more vulnerable and desperate for a friend. I learned to cope with it by giving myself some time to think about my needs and I also distracted myself by doing activities that I enjoy doing. In my end, it wasn’t really that bad. Looking back at it, it was just an awful year. I have met a new friend and I feel like Im starting to bond with my parents and relatives. I am glad Im able to comment this and I really hope someone reads this whole thing and just appreciates it. Thanks..
I’d really like to know the app you use in the beginning of this episode, would probably help a lot of people with an easy option to make friends and would really appreciate it.
Well my best friend drowned and washed up 2 days later in epping. My girlfriend cheated on and left me with a guy at work that looked to be up for a promotion which he got and promptly promoted her. My cat died of cancer and my ex is coming to cush me with more child support. This is all within the span of 3 months. I only get to see my daughter every other weekend and my family doesn't speak to each other unless forced. So ya im lonely and depressed and suicidal.
Thank you for this upload. I too have loneliness issues. My only contact with ppl is on live-streams which I love and has literally saved me, I think but I do need more.
David Beaulieu David wow, I’m so sorry. What state do u live in? If you would like to talk with someone, let me know. I could be a sounding board at least for you. Your choice. I have lost all friendships bc they proved to be narcissists and not trustworthy for me. Long story. Authenticity is huge in my book.
The worst kind of loneliness is when you’re around people but still feel like you’re completely alone..
It's hard to get social relationships, but at certain point you will be able to make good friends, don't give up!
Its OK i will be your friend :)
I actualy feel less lonely when i am all by my self,its the only time i can do what,how,where and how ever i want
We are phantoms... Ghosts with nowhere left to haunt
I think being completely alone it's worst for me..
I mean , no one to talk to, no one being around me, man that hurts
Edit:I thought she was talking about people around you who cares about you like friends and family but still feel lonely whoops
It's sad that "attempting to make friends" is considered weird...
Joseph Lewallen that’s true
especially as we get older
Its considered odd because it's like someone is admitting that they are lonely and these days people dont want to lower their ego's by admitting weaknesses in themselves. But yeah it's a shame.
Joseph Lewallen tbh I feel scared to be alone I try make as many friends as possible because my own thoughts haunt me
Yeah
Ironically, I feel less lonely knowing that I'm not the only one.
Your positive comment made me feel so much better
yeahh
Hmmm that’s an interesting way of seeing it 🤔
Thats exactly what I was thinking.. but Im feeling that most people wont admit it and will just laugh at you or something
That's good
I’ve read that loneliness is not feeling you are alone, rather it is feeling that nobody cares about you, and I agree.
I've always been kind of a loner to some degree. S I find that some people go out of their way to create tension when you are around them. So on that respect I prefere my own company.on the other hand . Yeah I like the company of certain people's who I can relate to.. but lucky for me I can operate on that level of understanding... thanx for listening
I try to care, but get very little response.
But, do you wanna carr me? Call me.
Yes. So true. This.
@That Guy just admit your feminism goals resulted the worse condition of loneliness in our age
8-15 close friends?! Wow great way to make me feel lonely 😂
I think they more mean like people who are more that just your coworkers. So people you would go out to the movies, have a board game night or do fun things together. So not your coworkers which who you would talk to to distract yourself from work, but also not your best friend which you would tell everthing
Thomas Jan Noordman yeah I still don’t have that many people to do those things with 😂
@Thomas Jan Noordman And it’s normal to have people like that?
@@thomasjannoordman1564 Yeah that was what I was thinking about...
Still depressed
I don’t even have one 😐
I once had a friend I could say "I love you bro" to. We were friends for almost 20 years but he died in a car accident a few years ago. I miss you Lorenzo, & I still love you bro... R.I.P.
I'm sorry to hear that and wish him good rest in peace. Hope you can still remember the good times forever :)
I am so sorry to hear that. I am positive he would’ve said the same thing about you.
My condolences . I am sorry.
🙏🏿
Sounds like a great guy. I’m sorry for your loss
Bruh RUclips recommendations are getting too personal now
their algorithm's are getting too good eh
For me its better because its help some people how to live in a Good way
Embrace it or flee.
word... this came on right after another video and wasn't related at all.... You tube how do you know that I have no friends?
Feeling attacked lol
"Loneliness is the one kind you can't solve by yourself. We need other people and other people need us."
That hits me hard wow.
Is it true?? 🥺
That means I need someone
I feel like I need someone but I feel like nobody will understand me 💘
no your wrong,being alone can be turned into a positive ,,to practice spirituality,its all about your mindset,
@@titteryenot1136 Being alone and loneliness are two different things.
“Everybody needs a friend, even a tree.”
-Bob Ross
What's better ,is even getting a little bush🌳 👙
Actually yes. Scientific research shows that trees are impacted by having trees around them felled.
Depends on one's definition of friendship. However, yes, humans are social beings.
But such a thing as friendship doesn't make sense itself! Humans can never truly become each other friend
Then there is "Earth"🤔🤨🧐
I have no friends because once my school ends I dont talk to them no more.
Same as me, we are alone together
Same for me. It's harder making friends the older we get.
I will suggest you to call all of ex class mates and invite them to your place for a mini party or reunion. Ask them about what's going on in their lives. Maybe some of them reciprocate the action and call you back someday or maybe even invite you to their place. Hopefully, you will end up with some friends and find common interests.
Because they no longer friends... in today world.. they just to had someone to talk to when bored and a friend on Facebook... a lot of friends I had like 2 years care more about their part time job...
Same here.. 😢
Me watching this at 11 alone in my dorm room eating chips for dinner:
“Yeah, why am I lonely??”
It’s 10 rn on the east coast, so you must be in the middle of the Atlantic.
Jack Timothy or Canada
5AM here. Guess where I am? :)
Jason Bourne Spain??
@@audieh
Wow, you got the timezone correct. Im from Holland though, pretty close 👍
'If you're super comfortable alone, you're probably in danger.'
Me: *chuckles in danger*
why is this?
the same reaction I get
If you allow just about anyone in your life because you want friends, you are in danger of people taking advantage of you, draining you of your energy and wasting you time. People dont want to be alone they WANT companionship but they cant even be alone with themselves first.
@@nla5307 The fear of being taken advantage of is one of the main reasons people are lonely in the first place. If you're not willing to take that risk, you deserve to be alone.
I was supposed to make this comment, you beat me to it hahaah
It’s so refreshing to hear men talk so openly like this. I appreciate their honesty.
Men feel a lot of loneliness. Much more commom than people used to think
Men are lonely people...and less talkative and expressive than women...also men experience loneliness in relationship section....women have become strange nowadays
As a guy when im lonely i just find some quiet corner in a pub and drink, it helps until i stop and sober up. I have a binge drink problem, even right now its a sunday here in the uk where i live. Im in bed flicking through all these videos and i feel anxiety alittle, thinking about things too much i hate it.
@@RaikenXion go for some kind of walk sir and quit drinking
@@RaikenXion hey, I just hope you are doing great in your life. Try to reduce your drinking habit. All the best. A lot of love from a 24 yo random guy from India.
For all of us that have dealt with it, we know that socializing wouldn't really help that much, because what we need is probably to get actually connected to other people, that's not something that we can get easily, like when i talk to people, it might seem that we have this conversation, but there's always that empty feeling remain there because you don't really care about what you're talking about, or because you can't really connected to that person.
Pagan Poetry so true. I have exactly the same thing.
yeah, it's not about talk to somebody it's about the connection
I have the same feeling. Then there are these persons with who you naturally click and you can talk about weird stuff and feel great. I'm not really into meeting new people tho
I love Aurora!
Yup. Socializing (for me) is worthless if it’s empty/done with people that I do not actually connect with. There’s an instant natural chemistry that either exists btw people or doesn’t. I hardly feel it, and know that I’m not going to with most people. But when I do, it’s incredibly rare and special so I do my best to hold on to it.
I socialize with people to not to feel lonely but it makes me feel more lonely.
Then maybe you’re not socializing with the right ppl
I Guess because these interactions are not meaningful for you 😔
Yeah I get u. Sometimes I feel lonely so I try and talk to people but then I realize just how disconnected and different I am from them-further increasing the deafening siren of loneliness.
Often times I feel lonely cause after a night of socialising, I go back home to my lonely apartment. That contrast makes me feel even more lonely. Also, even after a nice night with friends I ruminate over the things that I might have said or done wrong. So the effects of a fun socialising event are overshadowed by my own judgement and fear.
Malu Okram ya, that’s what happen to me in My k l after years when I went back to college!
I've been lonely for so long, I don't even know how to make friends any more. I just feel dead inside.
me too!!!!!!!!
How are you now?
@@ama2065 I'm still lonely, but not as bad. I have come to realize i have to heal my attachment and abandonment issues
Dale Carnegie - How to win friends and influence people
Welcome to the club
Sometimes being Lonely is okay than having bad company by your side
💯
True
Not sometimes but all the time
Exactly!
Correct
I think I lost every friend I had, they made their own lives, followed their careers, made other friends. I'm an introvert and my social skills are terrible, I don't have any problem with being alone tho, I enjoy my own company, but sometimes hurts feeling like everyone's lives would be the same without you.
I read myself in your comment!
I’m an introvert too and most times I just don’t feel like being bother with.
Carolina Tapiac same
Same. It hurts me to think that no one would be affected by my presence or absence. It's terrifying, the fear of actually ending up lonely in life and not amounting to anything and not meaning anything to anyone.
Wow I thought I was the only one with anxiety I hate being in crowds
We are lonely, as we have problems with social skills, in a physical situation. The anxiety of doing or saying the wrong thing, and the awkwardness of dealing with the consequence. So it's easier not to do in the first instance. Social relationships can be held at arms length on smartphones, for some people. And some people, it's the ONLY way to talk to others.
in other words, we’re afraid to be imperfect. We think we have to do, say, and be without flaw at all times.
That hit close to home... Ur words reflect my life..
@ .
.. .
.
.
gallimead exactly
@@utsavimishra106 on god
RUclips makes me less lonely, it's the only place I can find people who are talking about stuff that interests me and lights up my soul. Sadly I watch it alone and it only talks but rarely listens. Still sometimes you write a comment and people like what you said and there's this sense of connection. No matter how insignificant, it's a small success.
I agree!😊
People's ego are too high... everyone has these fantasies of dating or being friends with someone super attracting to the eye instead of being realistic instead of having a normal relationship with people. making friends now days also feels complicated because it's always that feeling of being judged...
LOUDER for the people in the back!! I totally feel you..maybe because I've met this kind of people before.. when I meet someone I'm always thinking" what would they think about me,what if they would judge me for the way I look or dress "
Agreed
Absolutely
too true :(
ABSOLUTE FACTS!!!!
beeing lonely is a terrible feeling and the worste part is you can be surrounded by many amazing people who love and care about you but the feeling is still there and won't go away
lena o'connell this hit me hard
Especially when you are the baby of 8 kids !!!
Very true
Is that true, can we be a friends?
add me on discord we can be friends : TWM KiTi2G#6885
The little pep talk before the "friend" date was adorable.
When lockdowns began, I went on a 100 mile hike on the Arizona trail. I found myself feeling less lonely “all by myself” in the middle of nowhere, compared to not connecting with not many in my immediate physical location. That space to be with myself with nobody to answer to and nowhere to be really helped when I returned to society. Society has a way of making us feel lonely while surrounded by millions of people. The ego mindset of “I got this” and “me first” is what I find causes me to feel loneliness.
Sitting outside in silence just listening to the wind and looking for small animals, i've never felt lonely. Yet all the time when i'm around other people, I feel only lonely..
Romeo's club is so wholesome
IKR they're amazing ı wanna join them
My grandpa needs that so much
When i feel lonely, i just try to accept it, because no matter what i do, i just can't seem to get rid of it, so i usually just wait, accept the fact that i'm lonely, and be aware that this is not something that'll last forever.
It's so must 2 do in the USA.
Ck it out. Start off going 2 Church.see what u can do there. U got 2 learn how 2 be friendly.Praises The Lord.
Yes that's true but it doesn't hurt to try to make friends.
Yeah, I just dont know anymore. I draw a lot so thats cool
Exactly thats how i cope
Being lonely is different from being alone, even when you’re not alone you can still feel lonely. It’s a sad truth that most people failed to recognise.
My theory is: friendship takes time. When we're kids we spend time with each other, get used to the company, naturally exchange personal info, go through some life events along with the other person.. for me this forms friendships.
very true. going thru life with someone makes a huge difference.
When we grow up it's much harder to build those friendships, but not impossible. I recommend some course to do, a subject of your interest and of your future friends: pottery, 2nd language, dance.. also there's [positive] endorphin involved. :)
That’s a great idea. I also think that some people make friends more quickly than others. Unfortunately I take a lot of time to make good friends and I’m part of a military family so that isn’t ideal. Generally a soon as I finally feel comfortable somewhere where we’re living, we have to move again and start all over. I also think that as you get older making friends become harder. When you’re younger you are in school(unless you’re homeschooled) which gives you many opportunities to make friends with other students. As you get older you generally have less time to spend with friends. Once you’re done with school your options for friendship decrease too.
Very true, I've known my closest friend for years now. I can't remember a moment in which I didn't know her.
I also think that friendship lies in trust. If I can't trust a person I can't be their friend.
If these two theories are combined I can say that I trust my friends on varying levels. My best friend, I trust her with my life. The less time I've known my friends the less I trust them. Same goes the other way around.
I stopped feeling lonely the moment i stopped thinking what people will think if they knew I had no friends.
Trust is an issue in our society. Reaching out could mean being used or being hurt. It doesn't have to be that way, but it's definitely a concern. Still.....think of what you're missing out on.
People leaving me is what I'm missing out on. NO. THANK. YOU!!!!!!!!!
Such truth
Exactly! Trust and being used or being hurt by others.
Bad roommates. Pure ugh.
Me he encerrado, tengo miedo de seguir siendo rechazada por fea, por no ser muy inteligente y por pobre, ahora la vejez está llegando y vivo muy deprimida de pensar, qué va a ser de mi, sin trabajo, sin dinero y sin salud, quiero morir pronto y rápido y no ser más una molestia.
Ironically, I feel lonelier around people than when I'm alone.
Then try to be with people with whom you would be more happy than when you are alone. It's difficult to find people like that.
me too
Why
@@vishaltaker9101 because it hurts more when the fact that you're an outcast is rubbed onto your face every single day.
I have been lonely since 2014
‘if we’re all so lonely, why don’t we just talk to each other?’ i ask myself, then i wish it was actually easy like that
Justine most of the people that feel lonely start to get used not to talk to other people. This makes it harder for them to socialize, and they become more shy, or introvert
Hi Justine
Once you feel lonely you no longer have the desire to talk to others
Nah it is that easy.
@@serafinaobi Yeah I'd say so too. When you're in that state of mind it's easy to think the world is shut off to the idea, but there's plenty of people out there who are happy to reciprocate if you just try to engage them.
Nothings more lonely than being with the wrong group of people
Edit: deymmm never expected this to blow up, but hope everyone would be better :))))
Yeah i feel that since my first grade school....
Yeah.. I know the feeling
@@zehar9 awww :(( hope you find other people that your comfortable with...
True i was in this situation before a week for 2 yrs and i just couldn't predict it ( now im 11 grade)
@@КонстантинИванов-к7с Hope you're doing well now
Seeing these two guys do a paint together made my heart so happy. This is the way every bromance should be
You know you are getting old when every next year there are less and less people who wish you happy birthday.
Vinica yup and this year there's only 4 people saying to me happy birthday. Thats sad but yeah im okay with it.
Alfi Zodhy Well yeah. I’d rather my friend wish me happy birthday than 100 of random wishes instead.
But still kinda sad tho.
@@tehpanasmanis5662 happy bday in advance alfi...wish u have amazing future ...god bless u...
Alfi Zodhy happy b-day with anticipation, i hope you make more friends and more people wish a good life, you're not alone💗
True
"Those who are lonely are more susceptible to social cues and often misinterpret signs as negative"... Been there so, so, so many times.
Especially on weed, right! That’s kind of a human thing. Y’all aren’t unique in that regard. Take comfort in that.
Yes. Exactly. I’m in a new neighborhood where I’ve been for 5 years. Why don’t kids play outside? I never see anyone out there. A brand new parks sits right in the center of the housing development but it stands empty. Before I came here I never sat down. Now there is nothing to do; the house is done, everything where it’s supposed to go. I’m homesick for the place where everyone knew me. I rarely leave the house because I hate not knowing where places are. I want to go home.
very trueee
It also explains school shooters. Not that I'm defending them.
Fear and trauma bring loneliness, and loneliness brings more fear and trauma.
Make a second episode. This is truly one of the largest epidemics of our time that no one is talking about. Being in tech and the future will bring this to the forefront for so many males coming up. I’ve also tried apps to make guy friends.
I feel lucky to be live in my country, in countries like Greece, Italy, Turkey feeling lonely is harder because people are so lively, nobody is afraid of meeting new people, I have many close friends that I met in bus, tram, shopping mall, Cafe... we don't afraid of showing our affection so I can't even imagine how hard to find friends in Nordic countries, they don't even sit next to each other in tram or bus, or they can't talk without beer.
I would like to experience those friendlier countries. Im in the USA. We don't talk to others either.
Oh if only I could come there and experience this type of friendliness.
carmen vance the funny fact is that lot’s of people say that american are very open and friendly ...so..what the issue?
••• who told u America was open and friendly? They may have stretched the truth a lil there😬
I do not totally agree with your claim. You can live in Norway and have a great social life or live in Eygpt and be agonized by life of loneliness and isolation. It primarily depends on your closet social environment and who you're with most of the time, but in general you made a point.
The fact that so many people are lonely proves that we failed as a society.
As a society and as humans individually.
Remove God and proper families and there you go!
Aditya Narayan “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”- Proverbs 18:24 ESV
This is not the purpose of society. It did not fail because it did not try.
Not really. Things can be infinitely worse than they are now. Loneliness is not even close to how bad it can get. Although it does tend to make people dramatic and self-aggrandizing and make statements like this, acting like they know suffering better than anyone else.
I don’t feel lonely I feel mentally alone! It’s hard to find someone that understands your mind
You put in words what I could not. Thank you.
The funniest part is that we feel the same things. It has been universal since recorded history.
Sartre even says that's impossible
That's what loneliness is
This is one of my favorite videos on here. The one romeo's advice was so valuable: every transition has the potential for loneliness. It's on you to make the difference. Makes me think of when I first moved out from home. :)
Him: “I had 8-9 friends in college”
Me:”you had friends in college?”
Elaine T FACTS!🤣
By the way I like your “old skool” mix
MC Hammer😂🤣
Lol! Same!
Facts 💯
People in college mostly have earbuds in, are looking at their phones and/or avoid eye contact. Good luck making friends that way.
I'm starting to doubt myself...I find myself always with no friends without even falling out with anyone or anything. We just end up keeping distance and i'm really bad at keeping intouch with people. The more I get older i find myself being less intresting being social
I feel you man...
Ooh yes I found my soulmate here 😂
Story of my life
I know, I always blame others but it's me who puts up a wall, I feel so detached from people, even family
I know exactly what you mean. And thos could be a part of a bigger thing. I was always thought to s7ck it up. Never talk about feeling. Never heard the people who adopted me tell me they love me. You could have depresion. I've never taken meds for it even though the military diagnosed me with it right before my discharge. But I just heard that there are triggers for depression. As u can tell I never even looked in to it. But with my niece in the hospital for over a week now from swallowing a bunch of antidepressants I looked stuff up for her.
"Loneliness is a greater fear than death " That one got me
BumbleBeeLovePeace Perhaps one of the best modern quotes of our time...
"I tell them they need to form a real relationship with someone who needs them."
Spoken like someone out of touch with the struggles of loneliness and social isolation. For many of us, this is exactly what we want and are trying to do and cannot achieve. As if struggling with loneliness isn't hard enough, we have people whose only answers for us so often are some form of blaming us. Even if someone is to blame for their own loneliness, just blaming them isn't answer and isn't helpful.
@@wearesatellites91 "No one is blaming." Proceeds to blame.
Having grown up in a small village, I don't think I've ever felt loneliness. It wasn't until I moved to a large city when I realized it can be pretty lonely. Even though you're surrounded by so many people it's pretty cold. The bigger the city is, Tokyo or London, the lonelier it feels. Playing team sports has definitely helped. When you're with a group of people with one goal, you develop this camaraderie and it's a pretty nice thing to be a part of.
To anyone feeling lonely, I send you a virtual hug.
Really needed one
Right back at you buddy!
🤗😘🤗😘🤗
This is the comment we needed.
Watching this in the context of quarantine is quite depressing, it demonstrates why it is so hard to do this effort and place the question that while we are keeping our physical health by doing this we are threatening your mental health . Thank you for always making top quality content!
yeah i think my mental health has been in jeopardy for so long i've lost track lol :(
People crying about loneliness because of all the illegal, totally, completely and entirely unnecessary tyranny currently being Illegally forced on the entire world for absolutely no good reason other than more power and control over us always puts a dark smile on my face, I'm sorry.
Welcome to my life L-O-N-G before these pure evil creatures in governments initiated Event 201 worldwide.
My ex girlfriend distanced me away from my friends and social life, the worst part is that she also made me feel lonelier inside our relationship. Guy’s, be careful out there with those partners.
No she didn’t dear. You allowed it to happen I guess.🌹
Narcissist's playbook 101. Been there. Don't look back, man!
@@janel342 he allowed it to happen because he didn’t know better, she still did it. You are victim blaming.
You’re not a kid that she treated you like her child. Grow up and do you and feel happy, live and let live! ✌️
@@misssunshine7408 👎
The problem today is everyone "pretends" they have many friends to not seem lonely or to make them seem higher on the social scale. Beacuse of this people make it seem that they arent close, and create toxic relationships. If only we could embrace this lonliness and be more open to one antoher life would be so much easier.
Accept your opinion bro and because of this before days i ended friendship with someone ( i mean boy cuse im also boy) cuse he was toxic pearson
Yeah but unfortunately it's also unattractive to admit that you are lonely, and doing so can increase the odds that social groups reject you
@@ianfitchett2768 I try to say that I sometimes feel lonely but not all the time, so I look honest but not anoying (sorry for my english)
@@foxtrotecho9530 .
mi
This hits really hard for me. I've had horrible social anxiety and a predisposition for anxiety/depression starting in high school. It's only in the last few years that I've started going to therapy, meditating, and challenging myself that I've found the courage to put myself in uncomfortable social situations and came out with social circles that nourish my social/emotional needs. It took several failed starts (went through 4 seasons as a free agent in intramural sports, multiple Asian-American meetups, and reaching out to old acquaintances to arrive at 3 social circles I enjoy and feel included in), but I never gave up.
This piece by Vox really highlights that most people probably feel the same way as you to some degree and are aching to connect. It just takes someone to have the courage to be vulnerable and put themselves out there. Why not you?
Z Z I really need to do this, but it’s so difficult. I struggle to reach out and rarely get invited to things. I feel pressured to get Instagram because that’s where most organising of social events happens among my generation, but the reason I deleted it in the first place was because it lowered my self-esteem and I have privacy concerns about it. It’s a never-ending cycle.
I can’t break into a friend group, I only have individual acquaintances who I only meet because I attend the same College as them. What did you talk to people about when you were breaking into friend groups? Most of the time average people talk about things like their social life, or activities they do. But the problem is I don’t have a social life or the courage to partake in activities so I struggle to talk to people, and I can’t find a group of intellectuals to discuss philosophy with either lol.
Your friends are lucky to have a person who appreciates them as much as you and people who feel the way you felt would be lucky to come across your comment which shows them that a change in attitude and the support of family can get them where they want to be.
That's great to hear. Hope thing's are going good for you. Really good advice as well for anyone else out there struggling.
@@Mariana-kc3ms That's a hard situation to be in. Do you think it'll be possible to try and get more connections outside of school? I'm sure there are still people in the school who will be willing to have that sort of "college experience" social life. You deserve the best. Good luck.
@@Miquelalalaa I personally feel it was a good idea to remove Instagram. It harmed you, and so it's good that you did not keep it for that reason. I personally would suggest volunteering, there, you can meet groups of people, and it isn't too direct. And about philosophy, I know this sounds a tad odd, but, there are people online who I know share that interest. Either it is on Reddit, Discord, heck, even facebook, those little groups (Although they aren't as "Direct") still should be a good way to channel that interest. Good luck. You deserve the best.
“...sometimes I feel a loneliness so intense that my rib cage hurts and it just feels like I don’t even want to get up in the morning or move” Relatable
That's a symptom of depression isn't it?
@@christophertucker4917 yes it is, source; me
Have that at least once a month..
30 seconds in: "we're actually in the middle of a loneliness epidemic"
*uploaded Jan 8, 2020*
I read a study today that said most people avoid lonely people - because they're lonely. They fear lonely people will be clingy. So, that's not helpful to lonely people, is it.
It's true. Can be a result of oversharing. I've touched upon how this has affected myself. Take a look if you get time. Great observation you made there.
What article did you read? I would love to read it too
@@kellydarrius so you reject them? thats cruel and not worthy of friendship
It's true. I am a lonely person and I avoid other lonely people
A lot of things in life are like that. The people who are most desperate for love are the ones who don't find it because potential partners find their desperation unattractive.
The people (assuming they are qualified) who desperately need a job because they are poor are the ones who usually don't get it because companies think they are not in demand in the market.
The parents who really want the best for their kids and sacrifice everything are the ones who get the least attention from their children.
The small businesses (again assuming they make quality items) who desperately need more customers to stay in business get less customers than a big chain who has an established brand name.
I only have friends when THEY need something, otherwise I don't exist.
Same
I'm sorry! Humans can be such jerks by using others! Getting used isn't a good feeling! It's usually temporary for me so i hope it is for you too!
Get better friends.
U exist to me. Most of all u exist to the most important person and is u and ur higher power. Cheers.
I feel you so much. 😭 If without my faith I would have gone long time ago.
In Turkish There is a saying that "Why are there lonely people while there are so much lonely people?"
Arda Güçlü that’s a saying 😂
@@mrfurio875 I think he just translated it wrong ?
Arda Güçlü 👌🏻
@@Shouko91 Actually it has deep meaning in Turkish but when you translated it can lose its meaning because of differences of languages
Arda Güçlü can you say it in turkish?
I’m introvert and typically don’t need others to feel okay, but sometimes I surprise myself at how easily I get along someone I literally just met. One time someone else asked me if I were friends from before meeting him, because apparently we talked as if we were long friends..
I've had that experience many times also. Maybe long periods of solitude (not loneliness) helps clear your mind so you're more sociable when you do meet someone in your travels.
Kinda ironic how much hyper connected we are supposed to be in 2020
We are hyper connected. That is the irony. The more connected we become the more lonely it gets
The more connections we make, the more superficial and meaningless each connection becomes.
Only virtually. Not the same.
Just wanted to say. But the loneliness isn't the result of hyper connectivity and internet. It's a result of the highly individualistic and consumerist culture we've been brought up in. Another product of late stage capitalism.
@@brandon9172 Don't conflate hyper-individualism with the free market (using a different word than the vague capitalism).
If it wasn't for the internet, people would be forced to face each other in person to interact with the free market to get what they want.
VOX: human beings feel more lonely in 2020 january
COVID 19: hold my beer
it's also called 'corona' which makes more wanna actually hold its beer XD
Covid: hold my corona
Omae wimou
I love Corona 🍺 started drinking it when Covid hit...I was afraid they would lose business.
@@doit3328 i would afraid to announce my veins boiled too overheat that i could stage a coup anytime i want
Y'all American should be afraid tho
Why people get lonely:
- tight school-schedules in higher classes take the opportunity of students to build friendships outside of school
- School ends eventually
- People lose contact since everyone goes different ways
- loneliness applies
Same with most job-scenarios, you work all day, only to see your colleagues, until you might quit your job to make it extremely difficult meeting up with them again. Shifts might make this even impossible.
When i feel lonely i just listen christian music or any religious songs and it feels me good, Thank you Lord,
It’s ok to socialize but there is nothing wrong with being alone sometimes on your own... I know I love it .
Sure
Big difference between being alone and being lonely though
I’ve studies loneliness my whole life. At nearly 50, I still don’t fully understand it. I will say that I notice a lot of people who are lonely, tend to have a lack of trust with their closest inner circle and even themselves. Unconditional acceptance of another person is probably a great way to advance personal relationships and increase both confidence and trust. Just a thought.
I’m like that I don’t trust my inner ⭕️ but smh when it comes to strangers I just trust them,Idk why Ahahaha & it’s true I don’t have trust in myself either
I also would want unconditional unacceptace but I wouldn’t be able to give it,Basically what I’m saying is I’m a walking paradox
What does trust in one's self mean?
Trust issues & social Anxiety make a larger problem to get over. Put that phone ☎ down and Try get Out & meet people.
Elisa Lazar wdym?
Okay stop, this is where we draw the line. This hits too close to home
W
I can totally relate everytime they said “loneliness is even bigger fear than death”!! It’s even not about having no friends or no family!! For me it is having no one to call your life partner!!
Same 💙
YOU be your life partner!!🌹
I never had any friend all my life. I see people laughing, enjoying and I just see them and say to myself why can't I enjoy life like them. I don't even feel connected to my parents.
Can I be your friend ?
I feel you, You're not alone 💙
I will be your freind
I am always here
chess fun same
How are we wired? Some people make me feel more lonely when around them. I feel less lonely when I’m alone...
Sometimes social situations can just shine a light on how lonely you feel, that's how people feel lonely around other people.
Right? Specially in this pandemia ,seems like nobody wants to have any kind of interaction..
I guess when many people around you are talking to themselves, you being alone sticks out like a sore thumb rather than you being alone in your own room
Realizing you may not connect with others on the spot feels worse than being alone by yourself
i guess it does depend on who you're around, who you relate to. if you're surrounded by people you don't get along with, you're better off alone, but only for a time, i think.
We are lonely now not because of the internet or our busy life but because people are mean and conniving, it is all about what we can get out of the next person and use them up until nothing left and move on to the next one, this is exactly why, also people are super weird this time and day and act like this don't want another human connection and that makes other people steer clear from other people.
Ikrr
Its the dominance heirarchy. Look up jordan peterson.
or is it that everyone believes this which makes them feel so isolated... as if there is no one to trust
@@yinndragonyang yeah I was talking to a chick that was by herself in Gamestop today and she sounded like she had no energy or happiness. Having a hot guy talk to her didn't even matter. I was even going to offer to be her friend but I have stopped that recently because people are becoming wayyyy too uninspirational.
@@justinnix1347 you guys are SO right! Many people look at me like I'm weird to constantly be joyful every day. People are so miserable and complain about first world problems all day. It's a disgusting existence.
I remember that there's a saying: "Loneliness is to be avoided, solitude is to be sought". Actually we can sometimes stay alone but try not to dissociate ourselves from the outside world.
When he drew that extra bird buddy for him 😭
Salam😁
Omg that was soo pure 😭😭😭
I shed a tear at that part
It was absolutely beautiful, it kind of represents the interaction that they were having on that moment.
Volunteering helped me. And being “busy” doing fun things - actually make the time to plan things with the friends you do have. And talking about “real things” instead of chit chat - the more vulnerable you are with each other the closer you generally feel. (Like those 36 question “that make strangers fall in love”.) Avoid drinking on your own at night and instead write catch up emails to friends/cousins/neighbours/old colleagues.
Oh, and recognise that how you feel isn’t really about your outside circumstances, it’s about the stuff going on in your head. I really recommend Dr. Amy Johnson for books/podcast/RUclips vids that helped me realise that.
. Me My x bbr
What you have written is so true. Thank you for posting this
You know your really lonely when you would rather get a seating arrangement in school than being able to pick seats
Oh my goodness that's so true
Or assigned partners
So trueee
O_O das me
Or assigned groups😂
I'm honestly loving this series. Not only am I learning so much, it's also fascinating to see that they do such deep research on topics that are often ignored 😁
8:47 that should exist in my city, a lot of grandpas are spending their days locked in their homes 24/7, lonely and sad :(
that describes me, but a younger grandpa.
I wish I could visit my grandpa. He is dead but His spiritual existence in heaven is blissful, and I have my memories.
I, too, had a wonderful grandpa. When God takes away a much-loved person, He leaves the best parts of that person in your heart and head. He was a preacher and so special, sparkly, and jubilant. He was a man of faith.
This comment was prophetic
My ribcage, my chest pains. I thought only I was with this. Glad to know there are people out there
I can tell you're Indian by your name. I feel the same way. I figured it's because of my uncommon interests maybe you suffer from the same.
@@6ftofmisery636 yeah bro, loneliness is what it is.. Literally
I relate to this. It prevents me from sleeping which makes me feel even worse. Also, whenever I'm outside I feel hyper vigilante causing me check my surroundings for "threats". I just wish I could sleep soundly at night without this irking feeling of loneliness.
@@wasabcwasabc same here
I've been through the pain and I could assure you if you could pull this more positive each days, you'll grow up a real badass not needing anything anyone around
1:36 I’m in college and I have 0 close friends I feel I can talk to. My boyfriend is the only person I can fully open up to but I try not to rely on him so much because I know unchecked dependency gets toxic.
I very highly relate to that. Now with corona virus it´s extra bad. :(
This is me. Anyone wants to be friends?
@@clovernhorndestroyerofmars3765 oh me!!
@Days in Quarantine Sure😊
Same 100%
There is a lot of fear, you don't feel safe an you become isolated, IAM turning 75 an I have a son who is the only person that visits me, but IV just recently met a new neighbors. Two who have been very kind to me, and IAM beginning to trust them with my feelings of lonlyness, we used to have a lunch club were I lived and it was marvelous to be out twice weekly, it stopped because of COVID an never started up again, so I don't know how bad my health would have got if I didn't have my son and these two neighbors now, it's a terrible thing lonlyness you get more unhealthy so IAM glad you put this up god bless you.
no one cares about anyone, that's one of the reasons why loneliness is so high.
Exactly
No its dosent need to be that way. Lonelynes is Always part of our life ,but u have to do something to make you happy..Life is too short,. We have to injoy Life that we have, in every precis moment...💜💜💜
@@luzdivinawerner3772 YES IN A GOOD WAY 💝💕
Why "boyka" and not "boyko"?
@illegit well u dont have to Care about My openion... I just Care People who need some Little advice or some Comfort...😵
Because people don't really know how to react when you walk up to ask them out and think you're too forward and it triggers their social anxiety.
But then dating apps make people disposable or allow people to dream unrealistic "standards".
I feel like people work best together when it's not a perfect fit.
We're in a strange time.
Very strange time. In addition, all of the health issues people are facing nowadays and the changing social norms add to the complexity of interaction with others.
PaseoDeLaEstrella because asking for someone’s time when you don’t know them IS weird and forward. Compliment people, strike conversation, make kind gestures and expect nothing in return. People will flock to you when you do this. Maybe a partner will notice this and seek you out. Not every nice gesture has to be for a thank you, for a phone number, for a date, etc. People should learn to be nice without expecting a reward for it.
It's so strange on how many people feel alone in a crowded world....
It's crowded by ppl that don't care about each over.
Well there's the problem. The world is so crowded that one just cannot comunicate with everybody. So we rather not communicate with anybody :/
I knew I was lonely when someone asked me to tell my best friend's name. I was mostly rejected by people whom I conversed with, because I was different. It's not that I chose to be lonely but I was made to feel lonely. Hardly anyone would come and ask me why I feel low. Even if I am in a big crowd, the lack of conversations make me feel loner. Realised that I feel much happier being lonely than craving for societal acceptance.
Are you from India?
Lets go back to calling, stopping over and having a coffee, drink or mesl together. Old school hospitality
I love this, I feel like it's become some forbidden thing to want to engage with the people you love. I have seen people who are unhealthily clingy, but just wanting to be around someone, talk to them, and enjoy their company isn't a sin..
The main idea of what I have understood is that we need to be more open to one another and share our feelings without the fear of rejection. Only then will we form bonds.
Nah bro, it's the superficial age people don't care about who you are but what you are.
The worse loneliness is having a family that despises you.
😭😭😭
i can relate, at least for the most part
You too huh? Life is bleak when your own family has turned on you.
I would say the other end of that spectrum is not having one at all.
omg yes! and on top of having no friends..life's tough man
I had a large group of friends, quarantine happened I don't talk to a single one anymore, we've all grown apart.
Because people aren’t as genuine, honest, sincere and just NICE to each other!, people will use, abuse, take advantage of your kindness, IF U LET THEM!, so most of us , just stay home and wAtch Season 1 of Modern Family to laugh!
Agree
💜❤💙💛💛💚💙❤💛💛💜💜💜❤❤
I just posted something like this I agree totally
I always get bullied so I just stick to my partner.
True. Fear and trauma bring loneliness, and loneliness brings more fear and trauma.
I actually love spending time alone. Being around other people feel like work.
Difference between spending time alone and being alone
People are stressful and treacherous
I recently have blocked even the closest friends I have, the more I think about it they are the ones contribute the most of my stress. I feel more peaceful now that I don't need to hear they telling me to change this and that about my life
I have always been alone to an extent. I am content with being by myself, and rarely get lonely. But mental health professionals know that being alone can sometimes mean you fall through the cracks when you are in crisis. So you need to be self-aware about what your needs are and know how to ask for help.
@@safirafitri2681 They were probably just coming from a place of love.
I am so grateful for this episode, it has highlighted how I have been feeling in social situations since I was 6, and that is due to bullying. That was 28 years ago! I’m no longer bullied, but my mind is stuck. Socializing is a conscious effort and I have to constantly train myself to not take things personal.
Like explain in brief about trainings.Cause there's none lol.
Because of the chaos of war and then fleeing to a totally foreign culture before I was five I learnt early in life that it's safer to be alone. So I've spent most of my life alone, often not having any human contact for days at a time. It's not good.
I'm sharing this on fb
Most imp things for humankind are forgotten so easily
Nice work👌
I just sleep a lot and live in my dreams.... it’s so much better than dealing with reality....
Айгерим Аманбаева it works for me.... sometimes I wish I could sleep forever 😀💤
@@prevedmedved I agree, I felt that same way when I was really depressed.
You're wasting your finite time sleeping, sleep less and design your life efficiently
If you start doing things, that are important for you,it Will get better.
@@chillihusky3487 people say that, but what can I do than just do well in my exams and try to be social?
I feel like this was written for me. It came in a time that I truly needed it. Thank you so much for the insight. I have felt like I'm alone in this feeling for so long. I'm often rejected socially. I won't make friends anymore for fear that they'll go away. I always smile and say hi. I want to help others anyway I can but something about me just turns people off. I was pushed away by all but one person that I grew up with because of my political views. I'm from Arkansas and I'm not racist. I know a lot of people that are so as of 2016 my loneliness doubled. I hope this video helps heal hearts the way that it has helped mine.
Your comment resonated with me. I hope you're doing well
i hope you've found some true friends by now
relatable. though i struggle with the smiling and trying to help part, at least in public. the only smiles i can muster are online :) lol
I just wanted to say I can relate to this post. Since I was young I've always gone to multicultural schools so now that I'm an adult I don't see color & I get a lot of rejection & shade thrown my way because of it. If you don't mind me asking how do you deal with this type of issue. Because it's just not in me to be racist
I have friends I am social with ppl but I don’t feel like I’m actually connected with a single person
Same
Same. Im so great at making friends with anyone but i cant maintain anyone of them
I have so many friends but whenever I’m with them it feels more like Somthing I have to do more than I want to.
I am your 100th 'like' which doesn't matter but here you go take it
I'm so lonely that I'm watching a video about loneliness. In my early 20s I had more than 10 very close friends and around 30 good friends. Now in my late 30s, I'm married, moved to a few new countries, lost contact with almost everyone and can't say I have any friends now. Only people I interact with are my wife and 2 kids. Went back to university, but it's all online. It is sad and it's making me depressed. I thought sharing might make me feel a bit better
I know the feeling bro
Was hoping to hear more solutions presented in this video but thanks for tackling this topic
Its easy "seek ye first the kingdom of God, AND all these other things will also be added unto you!"
Pray. Talk to God. Tell Him you're lonely. He hears you.
A Heid hahahahah
@@rxanjames hahahaha "There will be weeping, and gnashing of teeth."
"Father, forgive them. For they know not what they do."
@Sammy B Jesus came to save all mankind; not just his people the Jews but the gentiles as well- I'll admit organized religion has hijacked God's Word and use it to serve their own purposes. But Jesus came to be a light to the world and save mankind from their sins. If some individuals refuse to humble themselves to God and His Word and admit they are a sinner and ask for forgiveness, that is their personal choice. Mankind does not determine what is or is not sin, God does. If some wish to reject God's laws and rules and substitute their own, they have the freedom and choice to do so. The love and compassion Jesus showed to sinners represents God's mercy, but forgiveness and repentance must be sought if one's heart for God is sincere.
The Japanese need to have this conversation. They are literally dying of it.
Like one ang khong siao
The Indians would be dying of it and you would not even feel the impact of it. Same for my Chinese brethren, except they are busy with the whole Corona thing, sadly. 😔
Im not a japanese....but i feel this comment is uncomfortable. Dude care about your self before care about other contury's people
@@ttrr7615 I think this for this problem, with their particularly isolationist culture - that's to say; in accordance to leaving each other alone ("politeness" -> loneliness) - they could be at the forefront of solving this issue, with it being particularly prevalent there, to be unseen and unheard. Psychological studies, statistics and informed cultural change /Could/ help solve this phenomenon.
I would say it's arguable that their nut is on a whole new level of uncrackable. So maybe solve for that case, solve for many?
@@ttrr7615 They're refering to "Kodokushi"; It literally means "lonely death". It's a well documented, growing problem Japan and it's heartwrenchingly sad.
I have family and friends but I've never felt so lonely in my life. Just because they're there doesn't mean u can talk to them and open up to them
100% agreed. My sister and I talk sometimes but never about anything important.
@@carmenvance5303 it's easier talking to people you don't know so if you ever need to talk I'm here 😊
@@markkinrade2739 Thank you. Where would I find you? i think youtube should incorporate a place for ppl to connect, kind of like facebook but on here.
@@carmenvance5303 I'm on facebook. I live in cumbria England don't know if you'll be able to find me but this is my real name
exactly
Interesting how this was uploaded prior to the pandemic. Would be worth revisiting the topic, that's for sure.
Comparing yourself to other people isn’t something to do when you’re feeling lonely ! Everyone’s life and experience is unique ☺️
"Life is a journey, not a competition."
Yeah.... but others have more unique and experience than you so you get upset
Never compare yourself to others. No one has walked in another’s shoes
i started crying when he drew a friend for the lonely bird.... quarantine is getting to me
I hug my friends whenever I see them, not always but I tell them I love them from time to time
Thank you for breaking the stigma about loneliness. I feel better now that I’ve learned it’s a normal human thing.