Weaning my 2nd at 18 months is NOTHING like my 1st
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- Опубликовано: 9 июн 2024
- Weaning my 2nd from breastfeeding at 18 months is NOTHING like my 1st.
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Weaning my second baby is NOTHING like my first... It still took 4 months to wean my 1st but I felt like we made progress. I think the biggest difference is with our first I was adamant things were 50/50. With my second 50/50 looked like I had the baby and he had the toddler... which HAS worked until now.
I've also nursed her to sleep for her whole life so we've got a few really big habits to break. But this baby is STRONG WILLED.
I'm going to give myself the grace of weaning my baby from breastfeeding, 4 months like I did with my frist and just try and take it slow.
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00:00 My apologies
00:36 Hey Shayla Introduction
00:47 Weaning my second from breastfeeding
01:12 Nursing my 1st
02:00 I night weaned my 2nd
03:10 Slowly weaning my 2nd
03:26 NO SUGAR multivitamin for kids
04:16 50% off your first order hiyahealth.com/heyshayla
04:33 We're down to 3 nursing sessions
04:50 She has FOMO
05:20 I contacted a sleep consultant...
05:41 The strategy with my 1st
06:20 50/50 with our second
07:00 The strategy with my 2nd???
08:10 They only need an oz for nutrition
08:23 I wanted to say sorry
08:46 BABIES ARE DIFFERENT
09:57 Please tell me what worked for weaning your child from breastfeeding!
10:22 THOUGHT PROMPT FLIP BOOKS!
This video has been sponsored by HIYA get 50% off your first order hiyahealth.com/heyshayla
My friend put her kid on a schedule, and they stopped soon after at 18 months.
I, on the other hand, breastfed until 2 years 4 months on demand and to sleep, and she was an early morning nurse to keep sleeping! The day I was done I did what my sister did - I put bandaids over the nipples and said they’re broken. Cold turkey! Left bandaids on for a few weeks until she stopped asking! Works great!!! You could also have your husband take the girls out of town to visit family for a weekend and then say your boobs are broken when they get back - what my sister did at 18 months! I SWEAR by the bandaids!!!
I’ve heard this!! I actually did one and were not nursing on that side. I’m just worried it won’t work and then I’ll have to tell her it’s better 😅
I am shocked at how little information is out there about weaning. I wanted to read a book about weaning and could not find one that is recent and widely available. I know my baby won't wean easily so I'm just....still nursing. lol.
My three children were between 14-19 months when I weaned. For bedtime nursing we created a new routine where my husband put them to bed. (I would nurse with a lovely or blanket so the lovely could replace me) We let them watch me leave the house and then he would put them to bed soon after with the lovely/blanket. It took different amounts of time for each kid. We just had to be consistent.
I may have already commented on this video, but I had to come back because my oldest is 2.5 and my heart is not ready to wean, but my body is. I wanted to go to 4 years max unless my babies weaned themselves, but I'm having major aversion! So we've picked a day and that will be the last day. We've been talking about it, explaining what is going to happen and planning a party. Pray for us that it works! And that i won't cry too much!
I have another video coming out Tues bc we weaned esme ❤️❤️
Sending you so much love, you’re incredible
We are at 15 months and still nursing on demand day and night/co-sleeping. I am saving this video to watch when we are ready to wean. The comments are a wealth of knowledge!
I can relate! I couldn't successfully wean until she was over 2, haha. I also have a very strong-willed child. Here's what finally worked for me (sounds a little like your plan): Once I got to the point where I managed to eliminate all but the most difficult-to-lose feedings, I replaced her habit gradually with a new comforting bedtime routine, for example, cutting her off earlier and earlier every night gradually and instead telling her, "Let's cuddle," & sing a couple songs, etc-find something soothing she really likes and do it CONSISTENTLY every night. This added comfort and a new routine to bedtime distracted her from wanting to nurse. But it did not happen overnight. For several months, she wanted to nurse, though I was able to kick her off after like 2 minutes, and she'd be fine with it. Eventually, she stopped doing it all altogether (it's possible the short nursing sessions finally dried up my milk). Also, adding a cup of water and a balanced snack 20-30 min before starting the bedtime routine seemed to really help her too. Some nice children's books about weaning may help if your kid likes books (Loving Comfort and Baby Moon for example); though 18 months may be too young for this? Sidenote: have you tried having her sleep in her own room? I discovered that our girl is a light sleeper and always concerned about what we are up to; if she hears one of us move (or snore or cough) in the night, she would wake up and want me to nurse her or start jabbering away-literally after one night in her own room/crib she started consistently sleeping 12 hours a night! Not every kid is like this of course, but you never know! Good luck! You'll eventually find what works for both/all of you!
My little one will be two in a few months and this is more or less my plan! Thank you for adding so much detail. The snack is a great idea!
When I nursed my boys(3 big lovely babies) I always nursed them lying down, under a cozy cover. When I weaned them I held them in my arms ( cross body sort of) and sang Christmas carols and gently rocked them until they fell asleep. They were 12 months, 17 months and 18 months. I don’t remember the logic of standing and rocking and singing.. but it worked. ( they were not all weaned at Christmas time.. but I know all the words and have a huge repertoire… so that’s what came easily. )
Esme will figure it out. You are there and warm and smell reassuringly.. she will figure it out. You are doing an amazing job at this motherhood thing! ❤
She screams when o try to hold her and not nurse 😅 I haven’t found anything that’s worked yet 😩
❤
I have a recommendation! I just finished weaning my 18 month old daughter.
I used to nurse her to bed at night and for naps. To start cutting them I wanted to remove thebbursing completely from the bedtime routine, so I actually nursed out in the living room THEN we went to the bedroom to begin our bedtime routine. This worked really well for us.
Thank you!!!
This worked for us too!
My son struggled with giving up milk in the night, and we started offering water. At first it made him so mad, but now he happily drinks water and goes back to sleep, so it might help!
Really appreciate this video. My baby is a little over 2 years old. Neither of us were ready to stop nursing. I love the bond & cuddles, & she always gets SO excited for “milky milkyyyy!” 🥰
Normally, she nurses AM, Nap, PM. I went out of town, alone for 3 days, but pumped 3 times a day. When I returned she hasn’t really asked for milk, but I definitely don’t want to quit cold turkey. When I offer milk, she’s very excited…. but my supply seems to be naturally weaning and I’m sad about it.
First off, I really love your channel! I feel like it's a great place for moms of all sorts of backgrounds to come together in a safe space.
I recently weaned at 16 months. For some background, my baby didn't nurse to sleep, so I didn't have to stop that association. But at about 14 months, nursing was making my skin crawl, and it was a very unpleasant experience for me, which is what started my process. We went from nursing whenever to once in the morning and once in the evening. She complained a little bit at first but that wasn't too bad. Then I started lessening each nursing session by 2 minutes every 3 days. I liked this because it essentially gave me a goal to work towards. I knew that on this one day, I would be done nursing. My LO was fine with the shorter and shorter nursing sessions. What was really hard was when it stopped. But I had set the deadline, and I needed to be done. I'm also going on a kid free trip in January, so I really wanted weaning to be done. It was really hard for 2 weeks. And even though I thought I went really slow, my LO struggled. It just felt like constant tantrums. We had learn new ways that I could comfort her. We had to in essence, grow and evolve our relationship. And that was hard. But we were able to do it. In all my Internet readings and personal experience, I think that kids easily weaning are more of an exception rather than the rule.
It's so hard, but if it's something you're ready for, it is something you can work towards. Hope this is helpful.
I weened my first just over a month ago because I was having nursing aversion because I'm pregnant. I have no clue how women can continue breastfeeding while pregnant, but more power to those mamas! My 19 month old still doesn't sleep through the night and we cosleep so it's going to be interesting when her little sister gets here. Thanks for sharing your good and bad days with us. Keep up the good work 💓
Wow this sounds exactly like me, I'm about to give birth on February 1 and I currently have a 17 month old who doesn't sleep through the night and we also cosleep. I exclusively pumped for 11 months then started to slow down because of being pregnant it was just exhausting trying to maintain my supply. My biggest worry is how I'm guna manage with my newborn while having a toddler who still doesn't sleep thru the night it's a scary thought 😩
@lornabaez3803 God bless you, Mama! You've got this. God won't give us more than we can handle. I know it's hard, but make sure you ask for help so you can catch a nap whenever you can. And remember, one day, your babies will sleep through the night. 💕
My daughter was 25 months when I stopped nursing her. I cut out the nursing to sleep at about 10 months because I needed some time to relax and dad took over nighttime routine. At about 20 months I nightweaned because neither of us was getting the sleep we needed. This took some weeks. I really started working when I became strict about not nursing in the bed anymore, only the couch during the day. So we had a dedicated place to nurse and she accepted it. Also, we started doing only one side per nursing session. Then she kept forgetting because other things were too interesting and sometime a couple of days went by without nursing. Then we moved. I told her we can't nurse in the new apartment. And that was it. But to be fair, she's an only child 😅 things are different when you have two
Thank you for sharing your tough moments. We are having a rough day (both kids sick and me too) and just knowing I’m not the only mom feeling clueless is comforting. Thank you for always putting up relatable content ❤
Both my babies have been polar opposite I can’t believe it! I also have a 3&1/2 year old…my second is one! I feel like if it weren’t for me offering she already would have weaned herself lol she’s obsessed with food. But my first was boob obsessed! Also ended up weaning him for the same reason (pregnancy and aversion). Mindblowing how different kids are x
Hey! I weaned my first at age 3.5. I started the weaning process when she was 2.5.
My BEST tip is to take it real slow and to read books at night about it.
I'm currently cosleeping with my 2.5 year old and have a 6 month old. My older one nurses just as often as my baby good lord give me strength.
I feel this video SO MUCH. I love that you post stuff like this, helps me not feel so alone. Good luck!!
This is nice of you to have a follow up video lol because so many times people make videos who clearly have the opposite baby than I had.
So I night weaned at 12 months and full weaned at 20 months. Both times were lovings from daddy. He would take over and the habit would just die away. We use a crib though so I’m just going to remind you that this too shall pass. We all have something WILD that we go through no matter what parenting route we decided to take. Good luck 😅
This is what we've done for all 6 kids, weaned between 15 months and 24 months: go down to nap/bedtime feedings only. (To get rid of waking feeds, feed them and just keep reducing time, have food ready immediately. May need to hand off to dad and walk away.) For the nap/bedtime feedings, working on one at a time, have dad take over. I need to physically leave the area so I cannot be seen. If you co sleep, you may need to sleep in another room for awhile. It takes anywhere between 2-6 weeks but it does the trick. Dad creates a new routine, books and water, singing and food pouch things (I hate these typically but they come in really useful during this time!) Also, make sure that they are getting enough calories in because the night waking can be from that.
This is just what we've done, I hope something helps you! For three of my kids, I could not be anywhere near them close to bedtime, even within ear shot. Those kids make it really difficult, but it can be done!
I feel your pain. I nursed my first while pregnant with my second, and he was soooo easy to wean, but I think it’s because I HEARD that the taste of your breast milk changes when you’re pregnant. Now my second turned 2 in November and I swore 2 years was gonna be the cut off point but here we are one month in and still going strong. I think I’ll just get pregnant again to get this child off my boob!!!!!
😂😂😂😂
I've weaned all of my 4 kids the same way. When they start eating solids (4-6 mos for the first 3, 7 mos for the last) I begin to slowly replace nursings with meals or snacks. So if I usually nurse around 9-10, I do a food snack instead. Every month I reduce one feeding a day. Around a year they are fully weaned. The long, methodical approach works really well for me, the baby doesn't struggle because it's really slow, and I've never had any issues with my comfort.
My first baby I weaned at 22 months, he's five now. With my second I am still nursing her to sleep and throughout the day. She's 13 months going on 14 months in 10 days. I had a dip in my supply recently after being sick and probably slightly dehydrated and I'm not doing anything to bring it back up. I hope this is a natural weaning process for her. She does drink some cows milk which helps but so far she still prefers my milk.
I weaned my boy/girl twins at 28 months old just last month. I had, over time, gotten them down to two nursing sessions a day.. (first I night weaned them. And then slowly dropped sessions throughout the day, over a length of time). My twins were seemingly happy to continue nursing forever. FOREVER. But physically I was ready to be done and I knew they had gotten to nurse for a good length of time. So all that was left to stop was nursing just before nap and before bedtime. What worked for us to eliminate those last two sessions - I decided we needed to drop the pre-nap nursing first. First I made sure they ate WELL and their calorie needs were met. I changed up naptime and started calling it "quiet time" and hyped it up. "OH BOY! Today we're going to have quiet time in your cribs with some books and a stuffy!! And then in a little bit we will get up and go play some more!" And I would smile and whisper and give them each a board book and a stuffed animal like it was super exciting for them (usually they dont have those in bed). I left a small light on and didn't turn the white noise on as high as usual. I didnt want them to realize this was secretly naptime but without the nursing ritual that we had always done. My daughter asked the first two days about nursing and I just said, "Not right now. We will nurse later!" (Which was true. We did still nurse later in the evening before bed). So they would eventually fall asleep. (We still do this quiet time idea now and it works. They go right to sleep.)
Then a few weeks later I changed up our bedtime routine. In the evening I gave them a CUP of milk, read stories, got them in pjs and then had my husband rocked each baby (we usually rock them til they're sleepy). So they still got to have milk in their bellies and got to rock but it was my husband rocking them and not me. A couple times they asked to nurse but I told them with a shrug and a smile "There is no more milk in the boobies. It's all gone..." (which was true, i was pretty dried up at this point.) And then I'd say "..But thats ok! Because we have fridge milk!" And I would remind them they could drink milk now from a cup. We still do lots of cuddling and hugging and rocking. So overall the transition went really well. At their age of nearly 2 1/2 they understand English well enough to know what I mean when I say "there is no more milk in the boobies"and give a little shrug and smile as if it's just one of those things, what can you do, kind of attitude. And they seemed to accept that reason.I didn't say no or try to only nurse for less minutes. I felt like that would have just triggered their anger. My daughter now very matter-of-factly says at random times, "No more booby milk. Just fridge milk." ❤ Weaning is hard for so many reasons. There are a lot of emotional ties for both mom and baby. But now that we are FINALLY done, we are all doing well and glad to be on to this next stage. It's bitter sweet but really good.
Oh and just wanted to mention, I saw an earlier video you did talking about how you weren't sure if you wanted to have a third baby and how you maybe needed a break but didnt want a big age gap between your kids. . . I just wanted to say, I also have an older daughter.. she is 7 1/2 years older than the twins. And the gap has actually been just fine! She plays with them and enjoys them thoroughly (not all the time but most of the time for sure). Its not how I thought it would be years ago when i was thinking about having kids. I imagined them all closer in age. But health issues and life circumstances happened and here we are. But it's working out very well and I'm very thankful. So maybe if you do need a little breather between baby 2 and 3, it's ok! ❤😊
My first weaned at 16 months easy peasy. Now nursing my second who is 19 months and I just found out I'm pregnant with my third. My second is very much like yours and all about the boob. We're down to nursing 3 times a day. We had to sleep train her to get her to drop night feedings and before nap. Honestly, it was pretty awful but now she goes to bed and nap no problem. I make sure she has a full lunch right before her nap so she's not hungry. She still nurses when she wakes up in the morning and after nap. Thinking I might greet her first thing with a water and snack instead of the boob to wean. Good luck, We're currently in the same boat.
I weaned at 2.5 years old. Something just clicked in my body and I felt like nursing was icky about nusing all the sudden. It gave me the heebie jeebies out of nowhere. We had reduced nursing down to only bedtime or injury soothing at this point. I started wearing high full coverage sports bras where no nipples could be seen. I told her "my milk is all gone now" and she seemed to understand. I started putting her down after rocking and not nursing and she would fall right to sleep. I also increased how much fats I pushed during the day and increased our activities during the day to make sure she was good and tired. I basically decided we were done and that was the end of nursing.
I hope some of that helps you.
OMG, the same thing started happening to me shortly after ours turned 2. Out of nowhere, I just started feeling super icky whenever I nursed, like this horrible hard-to-describe aversion to it. I wanted to scream whenever she started nursing!
I feel this so much! I’m pregnant with our third and I’m trying to slowly wean my 16 month old and be done nursing him by 18-19 months. It has been a STRUGGLE!!! And I’m having crazy nursing aversions! I’m so done, but my son so isn’t done. It’s also extra hard because my son reacts to eggs and dairy which are some of the primary foods you give to littles who can’t chew the best yet! I just accepted the struggle and I’ll just have to be really intentional and figure it out.
This is me same age and third pregnancy! I’m down to one nursing session and it’s BRUTAL! I have to bite down on my knuckles to get through. She won’t drink milk so I feel terrible. She going to be so upset when she sees me nursing the newborn 😬
My kiddo was a challenge to wean. So solidarity, sister!
I ended up finding a book called Booby Moon. Helped us to explain that Milk was going away. It also has a lovely story and ritual to it.
We ended up successfully night weaning at 20 months. Then, we fully weaned at 26 months. (A bit later than I wanted due to sickness).
I think because he was developmentally ready, he understood the story, and it all worked out. He now repeats the story. It's pretty cute.
Looking it up now! Thank you!
I need to wean my second. I’m referencing this video to see how to go about it. I’m terrified but I’m mentally exhausted! She is 17 months. Same age her brother was when I weaned him because I was pregnant with her.
I started by stopping the nursing in the sleeping room and did it, before my husband brought him to bed, in the living rooms - we did that for a couple of weeks and than with 18 month I told him that there is no more milk left - he accepted and that was the first night he slept throughoutly!
Both my kids wake at 5ish every day, ages 15 months and 3.5 years, and nothing gets them back to sleep!
My 3.5 year old stopped nursing around 18m on his own. I had stopped nursing to sleep around 12 months (so I could brush his teeth so milk wasn't sitting on them all night) and just fed 3x a day slowly moving to just morning and bedtime at some point. He said no when I offered after he did it a few times in a row we were just done.
My 15m old I have done the same thing and we are feeding at wake up (around 5am, does not fall back asleep) and bedtime.
I do remember even without nursing my son had a nap refusal sleep regression type thing around 18m, and I read that it was common to happen and eventually stopped refusing them and is still napping at 3.5 years. He asks for naps and then only sleeps 8-9hrs at night.
My first weaned not by choice when I dried up during pregnancy. She was 16 months. She asked to nurse but there was nothing left. My second weaned completely by surprise at 12 months. Never asked for it again. So different.
I know you love a good mindset shift. Would it be helpful to think of this as sleep training? Like yes you’re weaning, but now that you’ve cut out daytime sessions, what you’re really doing this last bit is teaching her a new way to fall asleep. So maybe pulling some tips from that framework could be helpful?
After emergency night weaning when I was pregnant and sick, we sloooowly dropped daytime feeds. The last to go was the morning-wake-up feed. And I definitely just used hot chocolate. "We're not going to have milk in the morning, we're going to have hot chocolate!" 3 days of hot chocolate and he stopped asking for the most part. He was 20 months.
Weaned by giving my first a cup of milk and snuggling at the times we usually nursed, replacing one at a time. It was a slow process but weaned her the week of her second birthday (found out I was pregnant a few weeks later so didn't get the break I was excited for 😂). Nursing my second, now three months, currently....❤
We weaned my 19 month old two months ago. She started sleeping with a stuffed toy and we cut the day feed and the night feed first. The morning feed was the last one to to, and I made sure that she knew we don't nurse until it was time to get up for the day, so I made her wait until 6am (sometimes she screamed for an hour) but once she nursed it was day time up for the day. Then we swapped that one for breakfast.
I’m planning on weaning in the spring when my first is around 1 year old so thanks for this! It is already helping me release the “perfectionism” that has been brewing when I think about my weaning plan 😂
A few other similar comments but I feel like replacing breast with formula or cows milk makes a massive difference. Taking away the milk altogether to me always felt a little cruel! My daughter is now 25 months and still has bottle before her nap and during bedtime routine but doesn't use it to fall asleep. Weaned from BF when she was about 11 months, happened naturally just petered out, she had just been having more and more bottles until that took over completely. I'm hoping she's just going to grow out of the bottles soon lol but not letting it bother me yet
I was that mum you are talking about... I weaned my first at about 2,5 years and it was horrible, I think both of us are still aching from that. I wouldn't wean her if I didn't have to. I am still brestfeeding my second (17 months) and I feel like he wouldn't care if we stopped 🤷♀️
This is so relatable. I only have one and have begun trying to wean by offering more solid food during the day, but he is very attached to feeding to sleep and upon morning wake up, and he still wakes once at night to feed. So I don’t have high hopes of it going naturally and easily any time soon. I didn’t think about nursing aversion with pregnancy but now that’s something to think about too as we will be trying for another one soon.
I think the blood sugar change after nursing might wake them up. When I night weaned mine out of necessity at 1 year old I didn't nurse him to sleep and would just rock him to sleep any time he woke up at night until 7am. He was a 9pm to 9am sleep routine within a week. It was a hard week because he was mad at the change but I would do anything to soothe him except nurse. He accepted the other methods like rocking, snuggling, singing, and teethers and all his night wakings stopped so fast. He still sometimes wakes for a minute (now 2yo) but just plays with a toy in his bed and goes back to sleep. If he's sick we always check him for symptoms before putting him back to sleep.
I have a 2 year old and a 6 month old. I weaned my eldest at 18 months when I was 5 months pregnant. Timing here was important because I read somewhere that you start producing colostrum for your new baby at 5 months, therefore its important to stop breastfeeding, if you can, at that point.
I weaned my eldest in about a week, it was fantastic! But, I feel the reason it went so well is because I didn't do a big thing with him that other moms usually do - I didn't sleep wean him. I let him have as much milk as he wanted, whenever he wanted, throughout the night every night up until that point (I know, I was tired lol). Then when I decided to wean, I just started doing 1 less feeding every 1-2 days until breast feeding just kind of fizzled out.
I am praying it goes as smoothly for my second, like I said he's only 6 months and still breastfeeding. My second one is more difficult when it comes to stuff like sleeping away from mom - I had my eldest sleeping in a bassinet from day 1 then in a crib after 6 months, no sweat - not my youngest. I have given up, and we just co-sleep because he just doesn't have it lol. So he might be more difficult with weaning too, who knows. I'm just going to try what I did with my first:)
Hope this helps, and stay strong mama❤🙏💪
I feel your pain 🥲 sending love!
Yes. Yes. We have the same gap and both are girls. I weaned my first 4 months into pregnancy with the second seemingly easily. This second one is psycho -headbangs, claws, etc when I pull her off. I’m so touched out. lol. We got this!!
I am one of those moms watching your video and thinking I must be doing something horribly wrong:)) 2.5yo and still not weaned...
I needed this SO much. Our baby is almost 19 months right now 😂
Ive only weaned 1 kid so far but she was 3.5 and i was pregnant with my 3rd and said i needed my body to make food for the baby so i told her no more after a day of apple picking and that was that lol. I cant imagine trying to do it earlier just because it was so easy to explain and for hwr to understand. My 2.5 year old and 6 month olds are still all day every day 🤷😅
I’m also tandem feeding my 3 and one year old girls, but I couldn’t take it during the night when either one or the other would wake me up, so I had to stop the older one. She still tries occasionally, but I try to be consistent and say no milk until sunlight.
Did you find it’s hurting you when they are feeding simultaneously?
I am currently nursing 21 month old twin boys. I was a co sleeping mom with my first little boy (never weaning) throughout the day or night, until i became pregnant with the second two. My son was 3 at this time. He loved to nurse the entire night, and i as well started to have trouble sleeping throughout the night when he wanted to nurse. To deal with this, i wore a shirt and cuddled with him(rather than nursing) and this worked. It may be hard, but you may have to temporarily sleep in a seperate room with the youngest, ao that when she protests, she doesnt wake your older daughter. When my twins were born, my oldest wasnt happy about it, but co sleeping ended with mom, and started with daddy dor comfort in a seperate room With my twins, i was unable to ever co sleep and breastfeed them together. Either this is impossible, or i wasn't able to figure out how to be successful. So i ended up letting them nurse to sleep in a reclining chair, and then lay them in their beds. This was often a fail when transferring them to their own beds. They would wake up, leadind to more nursing to sleep and no sleep for me. Eventually at around 8 months, they were eating enough solid food, that i felt good about not allowing them to nurse at night. I gave them as much milk as i could throughout the day, and about one hour before bedtime, i used distractions and food and yummy snacks to supplement their desire for my milk. I would take them to their room at bedtime and rock them to sleep. I made sure to wear t shirts and used a burp cloth to add another layer to prevent them to having easy access. They cried at first, but with consistency they got used to this new bedtime routine. It will be different for you of course because she is older. Now they sleep 12 hours together in their own bed through the night and i give them milk in the morning. There are days they only take morning feedings and acter nap, and some days onoy the morning session. Visits from grandparents are a big distraction, as well as being gone for the day, the excitement from the new experiences are distractions and sometimes neither baby wants to nurse. Then there are days that they are very sick and have nursed all day and barely eaten any food at all. I give them their milk during the day when they want it so that i dont have to lose sleep at night. Hope this gave some different scenarios to consider. ❤ you're doing an amazing job! Your girls are blessed to have a mother who cares and tries so hard. When i struggle and feel like i can't solve the problem no matter what i try, the best thing is to pray and ask God to help. This works every time. Pray continuously, until your prayer is answered.
Babies are SO different!
We finished weaning at 18 months! At 12 months I slowly cut my son back to only nursing at naps and bedtime for a few months. As we got closer to 18 months I got pregnant and was very ready to be done. My husband put our son to bed (which was rough to start, but slowly got better). Then a few weeks later at nap time I stopped nursing him and just rocked to sleep. For a solid week he was VERY mad and literally threw a tantrum, but I held the boundary and rocked him to sleep. After a week he was willing to accept that’s how it was, so we got down to just nursing in the morning. Sometimes at nap I would ask if he wanted a cup of milk, and he was happy to take that instead. Right at 18 months I told him there wasn’t any more (breast)milk, and he was only mad about it for a few minutes. He still is very interested in putting his hand down my shirt when he’s tired, but doesn’t ask to nurse anymore.
Good luck! Hold the boundaries that you choose ❤️
Love your stuff! You are amazing, thanks for sharing.
I weaned at 21 months but started at 18, did it very slowly. I gave her a nice snack instead every time she wanted to nurse as per my doctor's advice and it worked really well. At night, I started giving her water and that worked well too.
Thank you for posting this! I don’t have any advice because I am struggling with the same. I have April 2020 and April 2022 babies. With my first I weaned at 17 months because I was pregnant. It was a mutual agreement and it was a perfect way to end the experience. It has now been close to 20 months with my second and I am ready to be done, but she isn’t. We have it down to only nursing before bed, but now she is addicted to a bottle.
My first (exclusively bf) weaned himself at 11 months and now my second (exclusively bf) is 10 months and nowhere near being done. He nurses every 3 hours morning and night. Not sure what I’m going to do when the time comes to slow him down😬 I’m not going to force anything either it’s just very interesting to compare the two so far.
I feel like if someone were asking you this question, you would ask their reason “why” they wanted to wean. 😊 if it’s simply “just because my first did at this age.” Maybe just let it be and let her wean herself 🤷🏻♀️.
My only weaning experience is my 13 month old biting my nips off any time I offered to nurse…so I just stopped offering and he never asked again. Broke my freaking heart lol
Ok, nap tip for weaning. Use a baby carrier and wear her as you do something that takes a lot of motion. Also I wouldn't worry about how much sleep she is getting if she isn't breaking down, my kids have never slept as much as they say they should.
Ive never felt a video more. Thank you.
I weaned at 15months old, I moved the night go to sleep til the afternoon/evening b4 dinner and would make sure the filled up on solids, would cuddle to sleep standing and not sitting/lying, then phased out the afternoon one with distractions/snacks. Morning time feed replaced with new habit of having a pouch yoghurt to suck. Overall was tough with tantrums but stayed consistent and would offer the alternative of snack/cuddle to sleep. We're slip ups for sure so took months to wean
Love your videos Shayla! I’m a mama of 3 girls and all 3 kiddos have had a different nursing journey. My 3rd baby is probably my favorite way that I wrapped up breastfeeding and I will probably use this method again if I have any more children. First, what I did the same with all of them was I replaced the nap/bedtime feed with a sippy cup of milk. Nurse for 2 minutes, then hand them the cup. Eventually just hand them the cup first and see what happens. They would drink their milk in the rocking chair while we cuddled and read books and that became their new routine (I stopped cosleeping with each of my babes after about one year old though, but you could probably do this in bed. However, it might be beneficial to move your bedtime nursing session to a different location such as a rocking chair so it no longer is associated with falling asleep.) Eventually the cup of milk gets moved earlier and fades from being part of the bedtime routine.
What I did differently with my 3rd though is instead of having the bedtime feed be last feeding session to remain like is commonly done, I kept the “wake up” feed in the morning as our only nursing session. This was so freeing because I didn’t have to end breastfeeding altogether, but I no longer had to nurse at the end of the night when I was exhausted, I wasn’t required to be home at bedtime, and instead had a special morning snuggle when I had more energy. My youngest was about 14 months when I cut out the bedtime feed and I think she was about 16 months when we wrapped up the morning feed. (And then I just used the same sippy cup method as above with a morning snuggle!) All 3 of my gals are SUPER strong willed, so I can empathize Shayla!
Going to try this with my 15 month old! I’ve never heard of it being done this way before it sounds like a gentle way of weaning. We’re they already sleeping through when you weaned them ? Mine is waking every 2 hours for feeds still and I’m hoping if I slowly get of bedtime feed it might help him figure out he doesn’t need me to fall asleep again
Oof I feel for you mama! That is still so much waking for you through the night! Ye Amy daughter started finally started sleeping through the night just before her first birthday, so she was already night weaned when I started the final weaning process. Good luck! It’s so hard to be on call over night after that long!!
We night weaned at 18 months reading the “Nursies when the sunshine’s”
I had my second when my first was 22 months. He wasn’t nursing a lot but then when brother nursed he wanted to nurse more too. So I was tandem nursing for a bit.
At 2.5 he was fully weaned. I talked to him for about 3 months, slowly reducing the time I’d let him nurse. We stopped nursing twice a day and once we were down to a noon nurse I would set a timer and talk about how the “boobs” were so happy to see him grow big and strong. I would tell him that baby needed milk to grow big and strong like him but now it was up to the veggies and fruits to make him bigger and stronger. Our last day nursing I only nursed for 2 minutes (as we had for the past week, slowly decreasing the time up until then). I stuck to it even though I really wanted to nurse him longer for that last time. After that he’s ask but I’d remind him the boobies were not available for him right now. After a month he asked again when he was sick and latched and said it want yummy anymore. A bitter sweet moment for sure
Natural weaning of the oldest, she stopped nursing by her self at 2years and 4 months. Gradually over the last 6 months. My youngest, he is 18 months….. not even close! Feels like almost nyrsing 24/7 still 😂
I don't have a kid yet but I watch religiously. Learning so much, thank you!
But seriously why was it so easy to ween the first and the second is a nightmare! Can't even get her out of my bed. Love you!
The thought prompts look amazing. I'm in Australia so I can't order one but I love the idea!
Thank you!! Working on getting the pdf up to download and print!!
My first just weaned at 2 years 10 months. I slowly cut back the time over months, took most of the year, until finally I would count to 60 then break her off. We did 60 seconds for like 2 months. I was willing to take the long road to avoid her screaming though lol! One day I finally had enough and said nope, I'm done! It's been a couple months and she still asks for milk almost every day but she doesn't cry about it... Most of the time lol.
My second is worlds different, so easy! She nurses when she's hungry and just sleeps, it blows my mind.
12 months. Very different situation. He used to nurse to sleep and then nursing to sleep stopped working, so I had to figure out different ways to comfort him to sleep. So when I weaned, I just replaced a nursing session with a sippy cup of milk or a snack for a week at a time until they no longer expected the boob.
I cannot offer you any advice since I’m still nursing to sleep and throughout the night with my 18 month old but I’m enjoying hearing of your journey. I’m sure I’m not too far behind. lol Good luck!! ☺️
I weaned my first in 2 parts. Day wean at 2yo and night wean at 2.5. I simply told her while she was nursing "ok now we will only be breastfeeding at night" i remembered it to her a few times because she ask and she cryed a little bit for it when she got hurt by something, for night wean (so to put her to sleep) i told her "ok this time will be the last time we do it". This one was harder, she has cryed a few time for it. Everytime she cryed, i cuddle with her. When baby was born she ask for it and I said ok, but she wasn't able to do it, my milk wasn't there yet. I just said yeah, the milk is for the baby now.
So 2yo for day and 2.5 for night. Everytime it was with a warning and it went well.
No advice, just saying that I feel you. I’m in the throws of figuring this out for my kiddo.
Woah you just described my current sitch girl! Your second has been sounding a lot like my little 18 month old right now…I followed your “nurse when the suns a awake” idea and that’s helped some. But she will not be comforted to sleep at naptime…fomo about sisters in the living room. Pretty sure we’re experiencing the same thing lol! Hang in there…though I’m in the same boat and don’t have advice 😅
My third I weaned when she was 22 months. She had never been good with taking a bottle. So I put on a nipple shield and she was horrified. Basically I never refused when she wanted to nurse but I always added the nipple shield and she didn’t want to nurse after that. It worked really well and she stopped asking after about 5 days.
My first 3 girls weaned them the same. Worked beautifully. My fourth daughter..not so much. Same age as the others but literally she threw a fit everynight for 2 weeks. She is very emotional and strong willed. Sometimes it is just hard! But they will get it. I feel your frustration.
I cold turkey-ed both of mine, which worked well in the sense that I wasn’t second guessing myself with all the questions that I had been prior to weaning like how many times I was okay with nursing in the night, when “morning” was etc. like you! It did cause havoc on my hormones though 😖 I stopped nursing my first when she was 17 months and my second when he was 15 months. With both, there were a few rough nights then they moved on quickly.
Nursing while pregnant is AWFUL. My whole body feels gross. Makes my skin crawl and my anxiety skyrocket. My 2 year old only nurses to sleep right now but even that is too much.
Can’t wait til you and Seth throw in a third one to the mix 😊
😅
THIS. Thank you for sharing, we are in the same situation and feel the same way ❤ love you!
You briefly mentioned your baby trade sides over and over again within a short period. My baby was doing the same thing and it was driving me absolutely up the wall (often he would wake himself up when he was almost asleep because he wanted to switch side again). What ended up working for us was I would was allowed him to nurse on both sides just once for as long as he wanted. Then I would set a timer for 10 minutes where he wasn't allowed to nurse for that time. That way I knew he had gotten food and connection. if he was really upset he would stay awake for those 10 minutes to nurse again. He learned very quickly that my alarm ment he could nurse again. But often he would fall asleep at the nine minute mark. If he fell alseep while nursing then he was lucky for that day and i would tell myself that it was just what he need for that day. It took a couple weeks or so but he learned fo fall asleep without nursing. Good Luck Momma
My daughter was fully weened by 19 months. She was nursing 3 times a day morning, noon and bedtime, so i started by cutting the morning one cold turkey cause that was the easiest and then once we had that down i started cutting the nap time one and started a new routine of drinking water and reading before nap, and then bedtime i have no idea how it happened to be honest.... i just realized realized one day that it had been a week sense we had last nursed so i just kept that train going 😂
My 18 month old is currently weaning. I'm 10 weeks pregnant. It physically hurts to nurse. This morning I started telling her my milk is going Bye Bye and I'm offering her a bottle with soy milk instead. I figured once I get her on a bottle then I can transition to a cup. Definitely cut off the sleep association with nursing.
Children are different. Even when raised by the same parents etc. it’s ok! As a mom who nursed and weaned 3 very different kids it WILL get easier! I would try using a lovey or a stuffed animal so she can nurse for 20 min whatever you decide. Then you and her and the lovey cuddle. So she has something to hold on to also maybe use white noise etc . Start a new routine. She will adapt to it
Going through weaning my 1st at 3yo and I didnt know that you can basically go through a second post partum and the anxiety train that Im on is fucking wild.
It’s an INSANE hormonal shift
It’s been challenging weaning my 20 month old. I worked really hard to eliminate all before sleep nursing. It’s been rough. For a week straight she woke up between 1 and 3 am and couldn’t be consoled. She’s been SO cranky. She used to wake up all smiles from nursing in bed first thing in the morning. It’s been hard having her wake up crying almost everyday. We seem to finally be turning a corner. We only nurse in the morning now and not in bed. Now she is beginning to lose a little interest and seems over it after 2 min or so. She still grabs at my shirt throughout the day but she’s much more her happy self now. I think I am going to eliminate the morning feeding in the next week. It was super hard though. I had to sacrifice a lot of sleep. It was honestly just as hard as the first few weeks when she was home from the hospital and she cried constantly from gas. She’s always been pretty easy going and has an agreeable personality, this experience has been really hard for all of us.
Thank you!
Really appreciate this video and all the comments. I'm currently trying to wean my 2.5 year old off the boob
Weaned at 2.5 but for the last 3 months she was only nursing at naptime and bedtime. We slowly cut back to just those times then one night I was just over it and said no and she asked at bedtime for about 3 weeks and then we were done.
Ours is 16 months and trying to drop that one daytime nap too! 😂😂 I guess we just keep trying!
For our first we waited until there were specific feeds (before bed, wake up, and before nap) then we slowly started getting rid of them, starting with the easiest one (bed time) then gradually worked up to the morning one. I made a Christmas advent calendar that had little toys in it that he got to get instead of nursing with me. There definitely was some questions like wait why aren’t we nursing but then he became excited to see what toy he was getting💁🏽♀️ But I have a 4 month old so I have no idea how it’ll go with her😂
My son is 28 months old and literally beats me up when I try to withhold breastfeeding. He will scratch at my face and scream and kick...it's just awful.
With my first, he weaned himself at 16months. I offered, he pulled down my shirt and laughed. He slept in his own room from 4months (we tried it out by chance) and he night weaned fully by 8months.
Baby 2 will only co-sleep, latched.😂😂 Im already envisioning the drama of weankng. Funny how different they can be.
Ok I will not lie I am that mom you’re saying sorry too, and I totally don’t hold it against you Shayla!!!
Ok so let’s get deeper about this.
1) remember with baby A your milk changed after getting pregnant with baby E. So that probably helped the process!
2) I think you also gotta start from the WHY. I know for my son I initially felt so much cultural pressure to have him weaned by 2, but then I realized that was external. He is over 2 now and still nursing strong! I think if you start from your “why” and can work on that inner part, the right answer will flow your way in the right time!
First was weaned at 30 months, second at 20 months, and i think it was too soon for him. Both times it was because i was pregnant again and got nursing aversion like crazy. We also switched both to water with a splash of apple juice (which i know you're you're not supposed to do) then transitioned to plain water and it worked like a charm 🤷
I feel your pain. My first was night weened at a year, my second? She's 14 months, and I feel like I can't night ween her. If she cries at night, she wakes my toddler who comes into our room and my husband has to put her back. Also, big sis is potty trained but very angry when she has to go at night and won't go alone. That also wakes the baby. I nurse her and put her back down if it's before 5am, but if it's after 5 but before 7 when we all get up, then she'll just cry and I "take one for the team" and end up with her pacifier-ing my boobs for the next two hours, so my husband and toddler can sleep. I find it very hard to "Mommy" in the morning if I'm "Mommy-ing" all night, so I end up sleeping in and let my husband handle them in the morning, unless it's a school day. Glad it's winter break now. I try to remember that all things are temporary, good and bad, but it's all pretty hard right now. Thanks for sharing from your wound. Solidarity.
So with my first, nothing worked except getting pregnant. I even tried putting apple cider vinegar on my nips. It didn’t phase him. 😅 When he was about 26 months and I was 8 months pregnant he kept getting frustrated with my supply tanking and biting HARD. I would stop and say “I can’t nurse if you bite, can you stop biting?” and he would say “no, I bite”. So I stopped. I started also asking before nursing “are you going to bite?” And he would always say “yeah, I’ll bite.” And I would say “ok, then no nursing.” After like a week he just stopped asking. And then at some point he casually said “I don’t nurse anymore, because I bite.” And I was like “yeah, that’s right.” I thought he would be more upset, especially when I nursed the new baby, but he never mentioned it again. Which is mind blowing, because he was obsessed with nursing. I thought he’d never wean. Maybe the biting just gave me the push to be more firm with him about holding that boundary.
My 9 month old is an 'observer' and we are wanting to wean around 12-18 months as we want to try again and I am high risk pregnant so I do not want to overlap pregnancy and nursing if I can avoid it just in case! We however after the 4 month 'regression' stopped nursing to sleep all together. He reached a point where he wouldn't go completely to sleep and the nursing seemed to almost be a hindrance and we moved to nursing then nighttime routine then rocking down to nursing bedtime routine then putting him down awake. We had like you said with your first baby 2-3 nights of protest and now he will push the book away to do our song or even push the phone we play the song on and reach for the crib when he is ready for bed. And if he wakes fussy sometimes he just wants to eat then comfort to be drowsy and will scream/protest and honestly want to be put down. It was odd at first because he needed all the sleep props for a while. But really prefers to put himself to sleep and he sleeps so much better when we don't help him down. Could be worth trying something like that breaking the nursing/comfort from the point of going to sleep.
Our guy is a total boob baby so even though we have that separation I am nervous about what happens when we try to limit nursing altogether. However I am curious if that 'I do it' attitude may come through there too and he may reach a point he just wants a cup or something. :(
I used the Hatch to wean! My son was very visual so I had a light set to come on at 6am when he was able to nurse again :) It worked really well for us! And I weaned at 2 and a half
I’m also trying to wean my 18 month old. Band aids over the nips has helped him understand it’s not milk time.
I weaned my first at 4yo because I was pregnant and it was very painful. Currently nursing my second (23mo) while pregnant again, I pushed through the pain in the first trimester and it's going well but I also think she's going to self wean eventually which was never going to happen with my first so yeah definitely very different experiences
Does she drink any other kind of milk and how? Because I thought they still need the nutrients from milk up until 3?
I weaned my toddler at 21 months while I was 4 months pregnant with my second. It was thru brute force. I used Vaseline and salt to deter him and we slept at my moms so that we could have 4 people taking turns soothing him. He flung himself off of the bed, into the walls, into the furniture - he was not happy. Took a week and he lost his voice in the process.
Edit: we also cosleep so maybe that was a factor in our bumpy experience
Ugh I’m so sorry!!! Amazing so many people were willing to help!
We cosleep too so I feel ya😅
The biggest thing i learned was start weaning 6 months before you actually want to be fully weaned... You can always pull back if it goes too well... My biggest hurdle with my 3rd child, we are fully weaned except for early wake ups and its all because i dont want my day to start at 5:30am and i know the easiest way to get abother hour or 2 of sleep is to just give him the boob... For bedtime i just didnt give in at a point and after a couple nights he was happy to just cuddle... But he still doesnt fo to slwwp dully independently, ive never been good at that one.