Let’s set the bar even higher ladies if it’s not child appropriate, us parents should not watch it period. Don’t compromise or dishonor the Holy Spirit in us.
7:05 _”this has been brought to light so that it doesn’t grow in the dark.”_ 😭😢 I am so grateful you two strong moms of men told us your stories. 🙏🏻 Navigating this is hard, but I appreciate the advice, encouragement, and how you went about those scenarios.
I'm affected by Havilah's patience and stable self-esteem. It stirs hope in me. I also am thankful for Lisa's grace and authenticity. I so love that you took holy communion with your son after you found out he was exposed to porn. And finally I'm so sincerely encouraged by their testimonies of abiding to God the Holy Spirit's voice. I pray Lisa and Havilah and I will continue to obey the Holy Spirit into eternity.
Perfect timing! My son and his classmates were supposed to have a talk w the school counselors about sex and healthy relationships today and I had my son skip that so that my husband and I could have that talk w him ourselves!
Man I wish I read this book. I remember in preschool during nap time multiple times (probably every week) me and another boy would do inappropriate things and that started so much immortality in my life early on. When I got Saved around 12 I had so much guilt from sexual immorality I’ve done.Thank God for His love and how far he brought me from sinful habits but I’m still struggle with certain things that stem from being under 12 years old. But I’m saying that to say please pray over your children for protection and guidance over how to parent them to keep them pure.
I discovered pornography at age 13. It was back when the porn channel was just scrambled but you could see glimpses of stuff. And I’m female. It definitely introduced sexual immorality into my life. I wasn’t raised in a Christian home so I didn’t know it was actually wrong. I did wait a long time but not for marriage. I’m married now and trying to teach my kids not to make the same mistakes I did.
I discovered pornography in my home at the age of 8. By the time I was 12, I began seeking it out on my own on the internet. And by age 14 I was completely addicted to it, hiding, living in secrecy, lying, and swallowed up in shame for the next 13 years. Pornography destroyed my life. It decimated my relationship with the Lord. I tried quitting a million times. I thought I would be in chains my whole life. By the grace of God, I am 1 year free from pornography. I wish I never ever discovered it, or at least I wish I was taught the skills to know how dangerous to my life and soul it would be. Today I am on mission to help other women who are trapped in this terrible addiction. Covenant Eyes was the number 1 thing that really gave me hope for freedom. I am free now, friends. And it is the sweetest and most beautiful thing I'm living out in the season. If you are struggling yourself, FREEDOM IS POSSIBLE. Seeing the world in clarity and purity has been sweeter than I can ever imagine. All glory and praise be to Jesus Christ.
Could I get a list of the scriptures you use to pray over your children before bed🙂 & also a list of scriptures to use in preparation for the sex talk? I would appreciate if so so so much!
What if you have boys and girls. Maybe someone from the community can chime in since your both have boys. But if you have both boys and girls how do you handle nakedness. They’re close in age but getting older and I’m trying to instill healthy boundaries with out shame.
Im not sure how old your children are but usually they develop a natural desire for privacy. I used to take baths with my brother but i don't recall when it stopped. Edit: I just read my comment and realized its not helpful... When my niece comes to stay, we just tell our boys its time to practice extra privacy. My oldest is 8 and is already wanting more privacy during bath time and my 5yr old is imitating his older brother. "Big boys want privacy", he says 😊
@@leannewheeler5351 My older 2 are 9(boy) 8(girl) and younger two are 4(boy) 2(girl). More so asking about the older two. They’re at the age we’re they’re point at each other and laughing at each other to annoy each other but still aren’t covering themselves up unless reminded to do so.
Well, I’m trying to think about what my parents did for us 🤔 My mom has 7 biological kids, 5 girls, 2 boys but we also have 2 adopted (a boy and a girl), then the rest hanai. I think I agree with the other two in the comments about as they grow older they naturally want more privacy but as we were growing up, my parents were very clear about boys and girls privacy But about the topic of nakedness, my mom was very careful about what she allowed us to watch growing up. Her rule was that if it wasn’t lined up with Gods Word, we couldn’t watch it. So no magic, no sexual content, no movies that were promoting violence, lying, cheating, gangs, etc. Unless maybe if it was a war movie/documentary that was actually a part of history and a true story (but usually these would have morals that lined up with Gods word or it was actually a Christian movie, like Hacksaw Ridge or Unbroken) But also, because it’s everywhere of sexualized movies and themes, she did the best she could but there were times where even she as a parent wasn’t perfect and let us see a movie like once or something because she had watched it as a kid and didn’t really think much of it from a parents perspective until we were watching it as a family 😂 But what I did appreciate from her was that some movies may be a good movie, a Christian one even, but if there were things like kissing if they weren’t married or even a hint or inference to sexual activity, she would tell us as kids, “If they’re kissing or doing stuff without being married, don’t look at it, cover the TV.” And she would explain to us why. So I know this may sound funny but as kids we would have a blanket by us watching the movie and if something like that came up, we were like, “They’re kissing! Or they’re doing that and that! Cover it! Grab the blanket!” Or scramble to find one. 😂 But it was good because when it was actually a case of the characters being married, we would leave it. Today I laugh about it because it’s funny to think about, but I see the reasoning or attempt at what she was doing lol I do remember this one time though I think I was like 8 or 9 maybe, but we were on the tv just scrolling trying to find something we wanted to watch. She saw Overboard and she was like oh I watched that as a kid, it was good. So we were like oh can we watch it? So there we are watching it, it’s going great till this one part in the movie maybe halfway or a little over and you know that moment when you’re like uhh 👀 *looking away*. *a minute or two later* Me: : They’re still going?! 😟 Later I turned to my mom and said, “Grandma let you watch that when you were kids?! 😳🤯” My mom was like yeah she did but I kinda forgot about that part honestly. I haven’t watched this in years 😅 Maybe we should’ve fast forward because that’s what I do now with movies because sometimes I’ve never watched something before and then boom, surprise I think the other important thing she did was have the sex talks, dating and marriage talks with us from a young age. And she didn’t do it in a weird way or shaming or anything. She just taught us about it and had open discussions with us which my siblings and I are really grateful for it. We got to learn about Gods plan but even just about our bodies and how God created us and that it’s not something to be ashamed of, just how to steward it right. So I think for us it painted a healthy picture of sex within marriage and honoring God and our bodies. So we know that showing your nakedness in front of other people outside of marriage is not okay, but in marriage it is. It is hard to navigate how exactly to teach kids how to handle these kinds of things, but I think each family is different so some things are trial and error but that’s okay because we’re all learning.
My struggle with this painful sin makes me feel like I will never truly laugh or be happy again.. I love Jesus so much but I haven't beaten it in 25years😢..
Well if it’s any help to you, here’s some advice from things that I’ve learned about it having struggled with some things too. When I was struggling with it and I had to work on breaking out of it with God, I first had to find the root of the problem. I had to find why I was running to it and what caused it in the first place. For me, I had been sexually abused as a kid for 6 years and I remember the last time it happened, is when I developed the bad addiction. I didn’t even know what it was or what it was called, but you know how the saying goes “curiosity kills the cat?”? Well boy did it kill me. Sin caught me for sure. So now that I was older and trying to find a way out of this, I had to really reflect. Why am I running to this? I run to this when I’m feeling hurt, lonely, etc. Then I had to backtrack or track really what was triggering me. What is causing me to be tempted? I realized it was some things I watched. Even if it’s things that’s not full on corn, it could be soft corn, or even just bits of sexual content. The unfortunate problem is that so many things are so sexualized in our day and age now that it’s everywhere so yeah, I get it that it can be tough, but now it’s time to put those guardrails up. I had to start being more disciplined on the kind of movies or videos I watched. The music I listened to. I had to start being aware of when and where I would deal with tempting often, for example, at night or sometimes in the day, on my phone sometimes, in my room. So I had to start practicing self control and discipline. I had to think to myself, okay I’m doing this during the day so for now on, the only time I go in my room and stay there is if I’m going to bed. You can start off in small steps because I couldn’t tackle this thing all one time. So then more and more I started putting up these guardrails. The other thing is pairing it with Gods Word. During that time in my life, I really loved God and so desperately wanted to be free from the addiction, but it was hard. So I started really seeking God and reading his Word. It really helped learning to seek him everyday and living out what his Word said. And his Word would remind me of who I am in Christ, and it would help me to combat the sin, shame, and guilt I was struggling with. James 4:7 & 1 John 1:9. What I found is the more I read his Word everyday, the more I lived it out, and the more I started practicing discipline and self-control, the less and less the addiction became. I also had to have a purpose of the why I want to break out of it. My purpose was that I really wanted to honor God, be free, and I was thinking about my future marriage and family and what I wouldn’t want to bring into that. And how I could teach and help them in the future if this comes up. You also need accountability. Surround yourself with Godly mentors, leaders, and friends that want to see you succeed in overcoming and are heading the same direction to Christ with you. But only confess to people you trust. Have an accountability partner. I know some of my family members struggled so they had their accountability partner put a lock on certain things on their phone to where if they even searched up anything with certain words or remotely close to it, it would alert the other person. Really surround yourself with people who will pray and fight with you. There’s also resources like Covenant eyes. Lastly, be on guard. I can say that God set me free from the addiction at 15 and I was doing good for a good while. But then a couple years later I fell then got back up. I can say the moments I fell are when my guard is down. When I compromise on my guardrails, when I’m not seeking God as much. I know the things that trigger me so I have to take precautions. It can be easy to fall back into it if your guard is down and you’re flirting with the line and not taking the precautions. I can say that sometimes every once in a while it’s still a struggle, but that’s why I ask God to forgive me, I get back up, and try again. I’m having to tighten up on my mental and physical discipline and self control again. The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. There once was a chief in a village and a young boy came up to the chief to ask for wisdom on good and bad. The chief said that it’s like there’s these 2 wolves inside him constantly fighting, one wants to do good, the other bad. The boy asked him, “Which one wins?” The chief said, “Whichever one I feed the most.” Which one are you feeding the most? The flesh or the Spirit. Hope this helps!
So in summary: 1) Identify the Root. Work on dealing with and healing it. 2) Figure out your triggers. What is causing you to be tempted? 3) Start putting guardrails up. Start practicing Discipline and Self-Control 4) Pair is with Gods Word. He will give you everything you need and he’s empowered you to be an overcomer. Jesus is the answer! 5) Have a purpose for why you want to be free from it. It’s your purpose and goal that you’re heading to. 6) Accountability. Who is keeping you accountable? What resources can also help to protect your mind, eyes, and ears? 7) Be on guard. Do not think that you’re going to be forever exempt from temptation while living in this fallen world. Keep your boundaries, guardrails, and do your best to stay on yourself with discipline and self-control. You know what triggers you, so why put yourself around it again to set you up for failure? 8) Even if you do mess up, God still loves you and you can ask him for forgiveness. He will wash you clean and you can start again. Don’t let the enemy speak lies and keep you from Gods love. God knows your struggles and downfalls and he wants to help you.
Pornography is so different now than it used to be. From photos, to love scenes, to full on XXX videos showing everything. My sons friend just introduced him to it at 12. I opened what he was watching and it was even disturbing for me. The most awkward unexpected heartbreaking conversation to have with someone so young an innocent. There is a Christian based book that talks about what God commanded of his people (be fruitful & multiply), talks about the anatomy of male and female, then goes into how a baby is made. I was hesitant to read that last part because I just couldn't imagine disturbing his innocence. Well come to find out he had been watching porn for a month. If I would have read it to him, he would have been educated. But unfortunately his view of sex was distorted by porn. We talked about it. I didn't overreact. He knew it was wrong. And he knew I had to ground him for a month from electronics. I also told him that he could get in trouble with the cops if he looked up a bad video. Like of minors. But it seemed to really scare him. He even told his friend that introduced him. It's also important though to tell your child not to talk about that stuff with other kids.
Proverbs 14:12 NASB1995 There is always the temptation to use reform in order to advance a mother's interests in conditioning and grooming her boys for the fulfilment of contractual obligations. ❤❤❤u2munch Proverbs 14:12 There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.
Let’s set the bar even higher ladies if it’s not child appropriate, us parents should not watch it period. Don’t compromise or dishonor the Holy Spirit in us.
7:05 _”this has been brought to light so that it doesn’t grow in the dark.”_ 😭😢
I am so grateful you two strong moms of men told us your stories. 🙏🏻 Navigating this is hard, but I appreciate the advice, encouragement, and how you went about those scenarios.
I'm affected by Havilah's patience and stable self-esteem. It stirs hope in me. I also am thankful for Lisa's grace and authenticity. I so love that you took holy communion with your son after you found out he was exposed to porn. And finally I'm so sincerely encouraged by their testimonies of abiding to God the Holy Spirit's voice. I pray Lisa and Havilah and I will continue to obey the Holy Spirit into eternity.
Perfect timing! My son and his classmates were supposed to have a talk w the school counselors about sex and healthy relationships today and I had my son skip that so that my husband and I could have that talk w him ourselves!
Man I wish I read this book. I remember in preschool during nap time multiple times (probably every week) me and another boy would do inappropriate things and that started so much immortality in my life early on. When I got Saved around 12 I had so much guilt from sexual immorality I’ve done.Thank God for His love and how far he brought me from sinful habits but I’m still struggle with certain things that stem from being under 12 years old. But I’m saying that to say please pray over your children for protection and guidance over how to parent them to keep them pure.
Headphones when going into the store, I think might work.
Singing gospel songs while walking in stores. Repeating verses. This will help.
my mum sent me to the grocery store when i was 14 i was abducted by two men .noone even cared or helped me .but god helped me escape
Thank you for having this conversation.
I discovered pornography at age 13. It was back when the porn channel was just scrambled but you could see glimpses of stuff. And I’m female. It definitely introduced sexual immorality into my life. I wasn’t raised in a Christian home so I didn’t know it was actually wrong. I did wait a long time but not for marriage. I’m married now and trying to teach my kids not to make the same mistakes I did.
I discovered pornography in my home at the age of 8. By the time I was 12, I began seeking it out on my own on the internet. And by age 14 I was completely addicted to it, hiding, living in secrecy, lying, and swallowed up in shame for the next 13 years. Pornography destroyed my life. It decimated my relationship with the Lord. I tried quitting a million times. I thought I would be in chains my whole life.
By the grace of God, I am 1 year free from pornography. I wish I never ever discovered it, or at least I wish I was taught the skills to know how dangerous to my life and soul it would be. Today I am on mission to help other women who are trapped in this terrible addiction. Covenant Eyes was the number 1 thing that really gave me hope for freedom. I am free now, friends. And it is the sweetest and most beautiful thing I'm living out in the season. If you are struggling yourself, FREEDOM IS POSSIBLE. Seeing the world in clarity and purity has been sweeter than I can ever imagine.
All glory and praise be to Jesus Christ.
So powerful 🔥Thank you got this! L⚔️B🛡️Truly empowered!
So thankful for this content! God bless you fellow daughters of the most high!
Thank you so much for this conversation! Much needed!
Thank you for talking about the book Good Picture Bad Picture. I was not sure whether to buy it or not
Taking Back The Rainbow helps people to come out of the darkness into light.
Could I get a list of the scriptures you use to pray over your children before bed🙂 & also a list of scriptures to use in preparation for the sex talk? I would appreciate if so so so much!
What if you have boys and girls. Maybe someone from the community can chime in since your both have boys. But if you have both boys and girls how do you handle nakedness. They’re close in age but getting older and I’m trying to instill healthy boundaries with out shame.
Im not sure how old your children are but usually they develop a natural desire for privacy. I used to take baths with my brother but i don't recall when it stopped.
Edit: I just read my comment and realized its not helpful...
When my niece comes to stay, we just tell our boys its time to practice extra privacy. My oldest is 8 and is already wanting more privacy during bath time and my 5yr old is imitating his older brother. "Big boys want privacy", he says 😊
@@leannewheeler5351 My older 2 are 9(boy) 8(girl) and younger two are 4(boy) 2(girl). More so asking about the older two. They’re at the age we’re they’re point at each other and laughing at each other to annoy each other but still aren’t covering themselves up unless reminded to do so.
Well, I’m trying to think about what my parents did for us 🤔 My mom has 7 biological kids, 5 girls, 2 boys but we also have 2 adopted (a boy and a girl), then the rest hanai.
I think I agree with the other two in the comments about as they grow older they naturally want more privacy but as we were growing up, my parents were very clear about boys and girls privacy
But about the topic of nakedness, my mom was very careful about what she allowed us to watch growing up. Her rule was that if it wasn’t lined up with Gods Word, we couldn’t watch it. So no magic, no sexual content, no movies that were promoting violence, lying, cheating, gangs, etc. Unless maybe if it was a war movie/documentary that was actually a part of history and a true story (but usually these would have morals that lined up with Gods word or it was actually a Christian movie, like Hacksaw Ridge or Unbroken)
But also, because it’s everywhere of sexualized movies and themes, she did the best she could but there were times where even she as a parent wasn’t perfect and let us see a movie like once or something because she had watched it as a kid and didn’t really think much of it from a parents perspective until we were watching it as a family 😂
But what I did appreciate from her was that some movies may be a good movie, a Christian one even, but if there were things like kissing if they weren’t married or even a hint or inference to sexual activity, she would tell us as kids, “If they’re kissing or doing stuff without being married, don’t look at it, cover the TV.” And she would explain to us why.
So I know this may sound funny but as kids we would have a blanket by us watching the movie and if something like that came up, we were like, “They’re kissing! Or they’re doing that and that! Cover it! Grab the blanket!” Or scramble to find one. 😂 But it was good because when it was actually a case of the characters being married, we would leave it. Today I laugh about it because it’s funny to think about, but I see the reasoning or attempt at what she was doing lol
I do remember this one time though I think I was like 8 or 9 maybe, but we were on the tv just scrolling trying to find something we wanted to watch. She saw Overboard and she was like oh I watched that as a kid, it was good. So we were like oh can we watch it?
So there we are watching it, it’s going great till this one part in the movie maybe halfway or a little over and you know that moment when you’re like uhh 👀 *looking away*. *a minute or two later* Me: : They’re still going?! 😟
Later I turned to my mom and said, “Grandma let you watch that when you were kids?! 😳🤯” My mom was like yeah she did but I kinda forgot about that part honestly. I haven’t watched this in years 😅 Maybe we should’ve fast forward because that’s what I do now with movies because sometimes I’ve never watched something before and then boom, surprise
I think the other important thing she did was have the sex talks, dating and marriage talks with us from a young age. And she didn’t do it in a weird way or shaming or anything. She just taught us about it and had open discussions with us which my siblings and I are really grateful for it.
We got to learn about Gods plan but even just about our bodies and how God created us and that it’s not something to be ashamed of, just how to steward it right. So I think for us it painted a healthy picture of sex within marriage and honoring God and our bodies. So we know that showing your nakedness in front of other people outside of marriage is not okay, but in marriage it is.
It is hard to navigate how exactly to teach kids how to handle these kinds of things, but I think each family is different so some things are trial and error but that’s okay because we’re all learning.
🙏🙏🙏
My struggle with this painful sin makes me feel like I will never truly laugh or be happy again.. I love Jesus so much but I haven't beaten it in 25years😢..
Well if it’s any help to you, here’s some advice from things that I’ve learned about it having struggled with some things too.
When I was struggling with it and I had to work on breaking out of it with God, I first had to find the root of the problem. I had to find why I was running to it and what caused it in the first place. For me, I had been sexually abused as a kid for 6 years and I remember the last time it happened, is when I developed the bad addiction. I didn’t even know what it was or what it was called, but you know how the saying goes “curiosity kills the cat?”? Well boy did it kill me. Sin caught me for sure.
So now that I was older and trying to find a way out of this, I had to really reflect. Why am I running to this? I run to this when I’m feeling hurt, lonely, etc.
Then I had to backtrack or track really what was triggering me. What is causing me to be tempted? I realized it was some things I watched. Even if it’s things that’s not full on corn, it could be soft corn, or even just bits of sexual content. The unfortunate problem is that so many things are so sexualized in our day and age now that it’s everywhere so yeah, I get it that it can be tough, but now it’s time to put those guardrails up.
I had to start being more disciplined on the kind of movies or videos I watched. The music I listened to. I had to start being aware of when and where I would deal with tempting often, for example, at night or sometimes in the day, on my phone sometimes, in my room.
So I had to start practicing self control and discipline. I had to think to myself, okay I’m doing this during the day so for now on, the only time I go in my room and stay there is if I’m going to bed. You can start off in small steps because I couldn’t tackle this thing all one time. So then more and more I started putting up these guardrails.
The other thing is pairing it with Gods Word. During that time in my life, I really loved God and so desperately wanted to be free from the addiction, but it was hard. So I started really seeking God and reading his Word. It really helped learning to seek him everyday and living out what his Word said. And his Word would remind me of who I am in Christ, and it would help me to combat the sin, shame, and guilt I was struggling with. James 4:7 & 1 John 1:9. What I found is the more I read his Word everyday, the more I lived it out, and the more I started practicing discipline and self-control, the less and less the addiction became.
I also had to have a purpose of the why I want to break out of it. My purpose was that I really wanted to honor God, be free, and I was thinking about my future marriage and family and what I wouldn’t want to bring into that. And how I could teach and help them in the future if this comes up.
You also need accountability. Surround yourself with Godly mentors, leaders, and friends that want to see you succeed in overcoming and are heading the same direction to Christ with you. But only confess to people you trust. Have an accountability partner. I know some of my family members struggled so they had their accountability partner put a lock on certain things on their phone to where if they even searched up anything with certain words or remotely close to it, it would alert the other person. Really surround yourself with people who will pray and fight with you. There’s also resources like Covenant eyes.
Lastly, be on guard. I can say that God set me free from the addiction at 15 and I was doing good for a good while. But then a couple years later I fell then got back up. I can say the moments I fell are when my guard is down. When I compromise on my guardrails, when I’m not seeking God as much. I know the things that trigger me so I have to take precautions. It can be easy to fall back into it if your guard is down and you’re flirting with the line and not taking the precautions. I can say that sometimes every once in a while it’s still a struggle, but that’s why I ask God to forgive me, I get back up, and try again. I’m having to tighten up on my mental and physical discipline and self control again. The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
There once was a chief in a village and a young boy came up to the chief to ask for wisdom on good and bad. The chief said that it’s like there’s these 2 wolves inside him constantly fighting, one wants to do good, the other bad. The boy asked him, “Which one wins?” The chief said, “Whichever one I feed the most.” Which one are you feeding the most? The flesh or the Spirit. Hope this helps!
So in summary:
1) Identify the Root. Work on dealing with and healing it.
2) Figure out your triggers. What is causing you to be tempted?
3) Start putting guardrails up. Start practicing Discipline and Self-Control
4) Pair is with Gods Word. He will give you everything you need and he’s empowered you to be an overcomer. Jesus is the answer!
5) Have a purpose for why you want to be free from it. It’s your purpose and goal that you’re heading to.
6) Accountability. Who is keeping you accountable? What resources can also help to protect your mind, eyes, and ears?
7) Be on guard. Do not think that you’re going to be forever exempt from temptation while living in this fallen world. Keep your boundaries, guardrails, and do your best to stay on yourself with discipline and self-control. You know what triggers you, so why put yourself around it again to set you up for failure?
8) Even if you do mess up, God still loves you and you can ask him for forgiveness. He will wash you clean and you can start again. Don’t let the enemy speak lies and keep you from Gods love. God knows your struggles and downfalls and he wants to help you.
Pornography is so different now than it used to be. From photos, to love scenes, to full on XXX videos showing everything.
My sons friend just introduced him to it at 12. I opened what he was watching and it was even disturbing for me. The most awkward unexpected heartbreaking conversation to have with someone so young an innocent.
There is a Christian based book that talks about what God commanded of his people (be fruitful & multiply), talks about the anatomy of male and female, then goes into how a baby is made. I was hesitant to read that last part because I just couldn't imagine disturbing his innocence. Well come to find out he had been watching porn for a month. If I would have read it to him, he would have been educated. But unfortunately his view of sex was distorted by porn.
We talked about it. I didn't overreact. He knew it was wrong. And he knew I had to ground him for a month from electronics. I also told him that he could get in trouble with the cops if he looked up a bad video. Like of minors. But it seemed to really scare him. He even told his friend that introduced him.
It's also important though to tell your child not to talk about that stuff with other kids.
What was the name of the Christian-based book? I’m sure people would love to check it out.
Proverbs 14:12 NASB1995
There is always the temptation to use reform in order to advance a mother's interests in conditioning and grooming her boys for the fulfilment of contractual obligations.
❤❤❤u2munch
Proverbs 14:12 There is a way which seems right to a man,
But its end is the way of death.