Thanks Mak ! we love you too! I totally approve Matias therapy, sometimes I record myself, but not to watch later just for the feeling of it. U both rock . keep up
self-therapy is pretty much talking to yourself like when you HEAR someone repeat what you said .(like it) cliks and either you are "oh" or "argue" so then you start figuring/talking things out -idk how to xplain in txt but yea-
Weirdly enough, I feel represented by the fact that you have a rocky relationship with your dad too, and you’re so transparent about it. I feel like I have a falling out with my dad every other month and it’s hard. He’s so stuck in his ways and it’s almost like he doesn’t want to know me
i feel connected to a lot of people in the community because of a poor relationship with a parent. it’s unfortunate but it’s a reality that a lot of us face. i just want to show everyone on here that life goes on even if people don’t come around, it gets better in the sense that YOU get better. You learn to deal, learn to accept it, grieve it, and become stronger. Proud of you for trudging on, i know it’s not easy. sending love
@@Makingemi I’m much older than you (not to take away from the fact that I learn so much from each of your videos) and a dude but I’m gay too and I had a super rough patch with my folks (dad and stepmom anyway, my birth mom is an out lesbian in a long-term relationship with a wonderful woman) growing up… they aren’t even that religious, just afraid of what “the others” might think and of saving face… they have grown and changed a lot over the years but it’s not inevitable and it still isn’t ideal… but they are trying and I am doing my best to give them the grace to not be perfect because I won’t ever be hetero but I also won’t ever be free from making my own mistakes.
proud of you for growing as an individual and being able to appreciate the good around you. it can be so difficult having a parent put their stern beliefs over their relationship with children but you are absolutely correct. if he would like to focus on pleasing the lord and miss out on the wonderful life of his amazing daughter than so be it. you are doing wonders for the community and bringing a smile to my face every sunday. thank you maki xx
That’s the best interpretation of “it gets better” I’ve heard and i think that it will make a lot more sense to people. Thanks for that. I absolutely feel that for sure! Just because others aren’t happier and didn’t grow with me, i am much happier and have grown and I’m okay with that! LOL and to bertha and M … you’re setting the bar on self therapy, keep it up! Whatever works eh!
Demi-sexual here: it took me a while to figure this out about myself. Even if I "hooked" up with someone, I always had to have at least a good conversation with them where we agreed on pop culture or philosophy or something that made me feel comfortable with them. Whereas my friend, would just grab someone and take them into the bathroom of the bar and have never talked to them and she had no issues doing that. I had a couple almost hookups without connection and each time panicked at the last minute and found an excuse to leave. I never understood why I coulnd't hook up with these people that were very attractive to me physically but I just couldn't follow through.
“I never felt at peace” resonated with me so so much; these conversations really help me with, almost, letting go of the idea that my dad will 100% change/become a better person? Basically I’m becoming more accustomed to the idea of moving on, on my own as a person and not hanging on to my dad :) it’s hard to change someone who has been thinking a certain way for 20-30+ years (or even their entire life) within a short time or, more accurately, 5-10 years🤷🏽♀️
Bro. The thing you said about your dad was LITERALLY my life. Holy hell, everything you said about being terrified, NO PEACE, was exactly my teenage years. My dad screwed me up for years, I’m in my mid-twenties and still working through undoing the damage he caused me. It was bad. I never told anyone anything about how much I was truly suffering. It permanently put a wedge in our relationship and it’s unfortunate that I’ll never have a relationship with my dad and honestly never will. But honestly, it’s comforting knowing someone else actually went through and felt the same as I did with their strictly religious father. It does get better.
I really love your serious talks about religion because they mean a lot to me because I’ve had very similar experiences with my father and it makes me feel better and I appreciate you so much
When you were talking about your dad, and how things can get better, man that was something I really needed to hear. I come from a very religious family and a very religious school. I am a lesbian, and I always felt terrified growing up because of their beliefs. And like you, I never felt peace, I felt broken, and like I had to choose between falling in love, getting married, adopting a kid, or going to heaven, and I has so much anxiety because of it. Finding your videos, and Alayna, and just an amazing queer community… it really helped me start to love who I was. And you were right, I couldn’t change the community around me, but I started to feel happy with who I was, and confident, and look forward to having a beautiful girlfriend and amazing wedding. It was like I took back a part of myself I had given away to people who didn’t support me. You can’t change hone other people view you, but you can change how you view yourself. You’ve helped me and so much of your community so much Mak… thank you for all the amazing content you’ve made over the years. : )
I had the same conversation with my father too (one week sog). Also one year later. It was not so nice. He is very conservative and is seeing my sexuality as a decision to make. BUT. After a long and painful conversation he took me in his arms and said: „You are my child and I love you.“ After that, the conversation was over and I cried a lot after it. (Sorry for my bad English. I am from Germany 😅)
I connect to the sentiment of 'I feel sorry for them'. My mom is someone I'm very close to but she has had a really hard time accepting my sexuality. I genuinely feel sorry for her that she is not able to know the entirety of my life. Until she accepts this part of me, she will never be able to know me.
Thank you for being so honest about your dad and you. I wouldn’t have the courage to, but it’s so insanely comforting to hear you put to words my own situation. People can get so caught up in their dogma that they overlook what’s right in front of them. Thank you.
Still hung up on what you said about your dad and about the meaning of "it gets better." Yes, it's incredibly difficult to accept that a person may never change, but it's also so amazing to feel the impact they have on you change, even if their beliefs don't.
I have also had a complex relationship with my dad, he has always been very abusive and stuff and I am just in the process of trying to let go of the anger and sorrow and just trying to give myself the respect and the space to heal. Hope it gets better ❤
I totally agree with what you had to say about the phrase it gets better, very insightful! I no longer talk to my dad, but I learned to accept that he is who he is and I can't change that, so I might as well focus on those who love me instead. In doing so, I have moved on and the loss of our relationship doesn't hurt me anymore. (or at least not nearly as much)
❤️ I love your take on “It gets better” and looking within-I’m not religious any more but you reminded me of the serenity prayer and how essential it is to focus on what we can control and let go of the things we can’t… plus I cannot make pizza like your sister but your video inspired a pizza dinner 😋 🍕 thank you for sharing and for being you!
Very inciteful about your dad. That first video about your finding out proved to me that you were a Rock Star it was so raw, and I'm sure a lot of people benefited from your honesty. Organized religion scares me mainly because of their narrow thinking and that the bible has been edited over the centuries. Your pizza night looked amazing. Maybe Mattea should do a therapy session with that therapist who was in one of your videos almost a year ago. I loved that you made that video solo playing both on-screen parts while doing everything else.
Your Sunday videos come out on a Monday for me in Australia. They always make that first day of the work week so much better. Thank you for making my Mondays suck less :)
My dad is also set in his ways. Neither me nor my sister have come out to him yet. At this point, I don't make enough money to move out (Car payments are really knocking me down). It's hard living with someone who has such vastly different opinions from yours. I'm a conflict-avoidant person, so most of the time I'll just agree half-heartedly to not cause any drama. You should've heard his opinions on the Covid vaccine... I hope that I get to finish my car payments and move out soon because this environment can really break a person down.
✂️ I love hearing your struggles and how you personally work through things and then I can go back to my own life with a new perspective! Thank you for being so transparent and just yourself!
i fully support your sister and the 'self-therapy,' i've been doing the same thing for the past few months and i get it. it works, somehow? slowly but surely, i'm noticing changes within myself. ofc it's not as good as therapy with a professional but hey, she has point - no one knows you better than yourself.
Thanks for the vulnerability and sharing Mak! I think its actually really powerful representation and relatable in alot of ways! Youre doing so well! ...also I fully relate to Mattea's ''Self-Therapising'' I do it too, after discovering I was the bet therapist ive even been to. haha! here for it!
I related so much to what you said about your dad - both of my parents are like that unfortunately and I've come to realise there's no point being angry with them because they just raised me how they thought was best and I do feel so sorry for them and all of their beliefs/fears because of their religion, but I know that's out of my control and I've somewhat come to peace with that. So thank you for sharing, it made me feel a bit better and a bit more hopeful for my future :)
I can relate to the dad thing. I haven't came out to my dad yet because i fear he wont ever talk to me again. I came out to my mother a few years ago as bi but I'm a lesbian. she "accepts me" but i feel as though its only because there's still a possibility that ill have a husband one day. But like you said I'm sure things will get better somehow. This is one of the main reasons i love watching your videos because sometimes when I feel lonley I remember that there are others going through similar situations. Its nice to have someone you could somewhat relate to. Keep being you mak, and thanks for the content :)
You can't even use a real name?? How do anyone know this story is real? Don't flatter yourself. Being bi doesn't necessarily mean any man would want you anyhow
@John Scott Man what? Nothing about the experience they mention is far fetched, also literally so many people don't use their legal names on the internet because it's unsafe, especially if you're part of any marginalized communities AND, if someone is closeted and doesn't want to get outed to a parent, why might I ask would they broadcast their identity? It would be doxxing themselves and opening things up to getting outed by strangers. Also, how is "no man might want you anyhow" relevant or even an insult to begin with in this context? If they don't want men, it works better to not be appealing or wanted by them anyway so you can be left the heyull alone. In the same tone as you with just as much relevance, women might not ever want you anyhow :)
Your talk about things getting better made me feel safe. Thanks, Mak. Hope everything is going good. You are a really cool person✂️ Also, Mattea is really funny she always makes my day😂
Personally I think demisexuality is a bit more nuanced than that definition gives. Asexuality is a spectrum, after all, so there's variation in people who are demisexual. The word "only" in the definition has definitely caught me up and prevented me from embracing this label for a few years, but eventually I realized that my "preference" for avoiding one night stands and casual hookups is actually required for my mental health. I think there are different kinds of attraction, and that's where the definition gets sticky. People have to have something very special for me to look at them and want to sleep with them (not that it never happens, but it's very rare) so that's sexual attraction, but I think that fluttery feeling I get when looking at a pretty person is different. I don't want to sleep with them. I'm probably not going to be able to open my mouth and talk to them; I just want to be around them; to see them, feel their energy. I don't think that's sexual attraction. I don't know what it is, but kinda like you said, I wouldn't act on that attraction. I consider myself demisexual because nothing's going to happen until I feel secure in a relationship. The other thing to remember is that demisexual is a different sort of sexuality label. It's not describing so much who you like but more when you feel that spark. Like, being demisexual wouldn't replace your identity of a lesbian, but it would be another adjective to describe your lesbianism :) Plus it can help explain to new partners that you like to take things slow. Even if it's not a label for you, it was really cool to see you talking through your thoughts on demisexuality and how it may or may not describe you.
It's sad to hear that your dad is still with his ideas but in the other hand i'm proud of you for overcoming the situation and sharing your reality with the world. And i agree with you, the reason why we all say "It gets better" is in fact because You'll Get Better and you'll understand that you have to live your life feelling happy and proud of who you are no matter what. Sending love, Mak❤ Amazing video as allways😎
Hi Mak! Hope you have a wonderful week! I was really moved by your view about “it gets better”. It really opened my eyes to the possibility it might be about me and not what they think of me… thank you so much for opening up. It’s not an easy thing to do especially on the internet and about a subject like that. We love you so much!! ❤️
11:08 props to you for understanding term and not just jumping right in with the term. Because as a demi-bi-sexual, let me tell you it's not a choice, i don't find people attractive until I have known them enough, it's like, only after i get to know them, this switch turns on and ONLY THEN, i can ✨appreciate ✨ their physical features (you know what I mean) It's hard, because when my friends were checking out senior boys and having crushes on celebs i was there like "how can you have a crush on a person that you don't know?", My sexuality doesn't work like that, it's like, I'm asexual until I'm not. Which is the reason I've had like, only 5 sexual crushes till date.
And the worst is when i tell a person about it and they go "ohh looks like I'm demisexual too haha" NO SIR, you're not, i just saw you lusting over that girl in the store, which, by the way, i can't do EVEN if i wanted to, you know why? Demisexuality :') it has come to a point that I don't tell people about my demisexuality because I know people will say "ohh! Then I'm demisexual too! Haha" without even researching the term. And it's just disrespectful, my experiences of alienation feel so disrespected. Thank god you didn't take up a label that didn't match up with your experiences Because sexuality is NOT a choice.
I have a hard relationship with my mom because of her beliefs And I just came to terms with the fact that I'm lesbian bc I was afraid just the things you were talking about but the way you put it gave me a whole new perspective and even if I don't have that perfect relationship with my mom I have other friends/family who support me so thanks for the new perspective ♥️
The dad stuff is helpful to hear. My husband and I are bi/poly but he's scared of his dad disowning him. So he's uncomfortable with either of us being very out. It hurts my heart - I'm tired of hiding. It's at least good to hear that if it were to happen that it would probably get easier with time and processing.
I LOVE your perspective on how things get better! How you feel better about who you are instead of how your dad changes. I think that's so beautiful and so mature to realize that change within yourself is still so powerful and can make a huge difference even if others won't change. 💙💙😁
My relationship with my father is not very good either. Like you, I feel sorry for my father sometimes, but most of the time our relationship, family bond and myself that I'm sorry about. Sometimes we can't help it but think... They say "it is people who make life difficult." Very true. However, when I look into your eyes, it is clear what a wonderful person you are..
As a demisexual, one way to know if you’re demi or not is to see if you’ve ever experienced sexual attraction towards celebrities! I’ve never had a celebrity crush, sure I’ve liked aesthetics of many but never like a sexual attraction of “wow…” you know?
What if you feel an emotional connection to a character they've played? Wouldn't that trick your brain into being able to feel sexual attraction to the actor themself?
@@ChibiMizu that’s a great point, I personally have never experienced sexual attraction to a character because I need my emotions to be reciprocated in order to call it a connection and less one-sided-attraction. I feel that like all sexualities, demisexuality can mean different things to different people!
This shows the reality of having conservative/religious parents when it comes to pride. I still haven't even came out cause I'm so scared to tell my parents
I feel so bad that your relationship with your dad hasn’t improved but glad that you’re feeling better that you have built support group and friends, and community as well. Um sorry to say this but your dads missing out on so much stuff but that’s life I guess and loved and enjoyed this video. Love it so much when you and Mattea are together so funny thank you so much for making my day so much better. Thank you for sharing this great video
On a road trip in Georgia where there's barely any internet / i motion sickness easily and I am watching, you because it's honestly the best I've felt on this trip🥰🥰🥰....going to sleep soon😂
Wow, hearing you talk about your Dad and how you've grown in your perspective of dealing with him is amazing. You are nearly 8 years younger than me, but have a maturity that I have yet to get. Perhaps it's in large part due to the fact I still live with my parents; I'm trying not to be too hard on myself. I do have one question I'd like you to answer of you come across my comment, did you ever hold these beliefs yourself? Like did you consider yourself a Christian at any point in your younger life?
Just recently started watching your videos. I enjoy them so much, your super, your gf is really funny 😁 I am sorry for your pain in regards to your dad. I think it's his loss as you rock. I have 4 daughters aged between 8 n 22. I love them too much to ever treat them like he's treating you. It makes me sad but your AWESOME so keep on smiling young lady 😊 🖖 peace out 🤪
I feel like that's how my relationship is gonna go with my parents when I come out. I know I even thought/ felt these things toward myself. But as confusing as it all is if there's a God out there he made me and idk what else he wants from me other than to want him back. I don't think there's strings attached just love.
Really appreciate you talking about issues with conservative family and things around that. I'm 26, grew up in a repressive religious environment. A very dear friend of mine who's family went to the same church was forced into conversion therapy. This was one of those ~cool modern churches~ that puts on a (relatively) progressive face... yeah, the underbelly of these places is still the same. But that isnt the point, the point is we were both damaged by this and at 26/27 we are still far FAR from "over it." I didnt even recognize how much it was affecting my adult life until I was 24... a full decade after I started deconstructing my own faith. This dear friend and I, we're lucky to have each other. We talk deep about this shit and it means so much. But so many people went through or are going through similar things, and they dont have anyone to talk to. They may hear "it gets better," but who's going to show them the path? I think, if I had seen someone like you when I was 13 and the realization that I was a lesbian first entered my brain, my life may have been very different. At least, my teens and early 20s may have been happy. It probably doesnt feel like much to you, but you're doing a really positive thing for gay kids growing up in that world. Ok I'm done being sappy, how the hell are you out here in MO wearing sweaters and jackets and shit. It's been a little cooler the last few days but it's still muggy as shit DAMN.
so what do you ask for when you get your haircut! Also what did you ask for when you first cut it that short? transitioning from shoulder length to your style is super tricky im nervous!
My screen cuts off the edges, so with this is full screen the first word appears as "hanging" which I think is quite funny! "hanging my sexualities label"
Okay, just real quick: just cause demisexual didn't work, doesn't mean that you're not somewhere on the ace spectrum. What you're describing could be graysexual or some other label in this part of the spectrum :) I hope it helped
Speaking as someone who's also decidedly somewhere on the ace spectrum, and just kind of gray? And also, bi? My take is, I'm not really invested in other people "identifying" as ace, and I don't think they need to, if it's not helpful to them. I only say I am because, if I don't? Other people don't get it! And that can often be pretty terrifying! As I can't make myself convincingly act like a normally sexual person, and sexually react / respond in a way that's expected of normally sexual people. Hence I really NEED that explanation of: "oh, I'm ace", to help typically sexual folks understand why I am the way I am, without expecting me to be just like them. But I mean, everyone's sexuality is different! For some people, it is VERY clear-cut and set in stone. While for people like me..? It's a lot more fluctuating, grey, messy, confusing, etc. Yet I know, if no one had expected me to satisfy their expectations, by acting in ways I just CAN'T get on board with, because it's just NOT how I function..? I would not have needed the label of "ace" to describe myself, at all. And I probably would have just ditched it. Speaking as someone who's also anti woke, anti snowflake, anti gender ideology, etc. BUT..? When things are what they are, that's just how it is, and it makes you need a word for "divergent" / "I can't play along with this", basically. That's all. And if Makingemi manages to sexually conform, to the point that she does NOT feel a need for that..? Then cool! And she can certainly reject the "ace spectrum" completely. All the better, not actually NEEDING that, in fact. I rest my case.
feeling sexual attraction to people you dont know; but just not feeling an urge to act on it, usually just means that you are very "self-sufficient". it was shocking to me when i learned how many 20something women have no idea how to care for themselfs.(mostly straight women) really tragic. and no, im not talking about cooking. ;)
4:21- 4:50 same unfortunately, except that my dad is more aggressive (it can get pretty physical) and the "sin" is cutting my hair above my shoulder (used to be really long), and according to his religion I'm not sinning because I have to cut it above my earlobe for it to be a sin. He thinks I look like half a man now and that's where his aggression stems from, so imagine if he found out that I am lesbian lmao, I would be pretty dead by now. I'm an agonist now so I don't give a shit about what he thinks of me now.
Ok no mattea is on to something. I therapize myself 1) because my therapist kinda sucks and 2) if you have an understanding of brains and are also able to do good research, it really is helpful. Like I’ve been able to identify my trauma, figure out not only how to get through it but move on for now without unsafely compartmentalizing.
Oh and mak you pretty therapized yourself after your convo with your dad even if it wasn’t an intentional like ‘sit down and have a conversation with yourself’ therapy.
I've been doing my own therapy since 2019 (mostly due to regional lack of options at the time) but found it more effective than any therapy before (and I had done over 15 years of therapy with a professional). I think some of the benefits are you can have therapy anytime, which is really helpful wit having those breakthrough moments. You can go into very personal spaces without editing due to self consciousness. You can call yourself out on your bullshit better. Yes, you do have to do lots of research, so it won't be for everyone but I have grown more in the past 4 years of self therapy than I ever did with professionals. Not to discredit them because every person needs different things and approaches and I fully believe in the power of a good professional!
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
have a wonderful week everyone! I love you guys :)
Hey you too!
Thanks for sharing..
You are a wonderful human being on this planet.
You make me smile.
I hope you smile reading this
Thank you Mak I hope your finger gets better that must’ve hurt really bad
Thanks Mak ! we love you too! I totally approve Matias therapy, sometimes I record myself, but not to watch later just for the feeling of it. U both rock . keep up
ruclips.net/video/qhpUnIvNhDE/видео.html
self-therapy is pretty much talking to yourself
like
when you HEAR someone repeat what you said .(like it) cliks and either you are "oh" or "argue" so then
you start figuring/talking things out
-idk how to xplain in txt but yea-
Weirdly enough, I feel represented by the fact that you have a rocky relationship with your dad too, and you’re so transparent about it. I feel like I have a falling out with my dad every other month and it’s hard. He’s so stuck in his ways and it’s almost like he doesn’t want to know me
i feel connected to a lot of people in the community because of a poor relationship with a parent. it’s unfortunate but it’s a reality that a lot of us face. i just want to show everyone on here that life goes on even if people don’t come around, it gets better in the sense that YOU get better. You learn to deal, learn to accept it, grieve it, and become stronger. Proud of you for trudging on, i know it’s not easy. sending love
@@Makingemi I’m much older than you (not to take away from the fact that I learn so much from each of your videos) and a dude but I’m gay too and I had a super rough patch with my folks (dad and stepmom anyway, my birth mom is an out lesbian in a long-term relationship with a wonderful woman) growing up… they aren’t even that religious, just afraid of what “the others” might think and of saving face… they have grown and changed a lot over the years but it’s not inevitable and it still isn’t ideal… but they are trying and I am doing my best to give them the grace to not be perfect because I won’t ever be hetero but I also won’t ever be free from making my own mistakes.
Damn this comment hits home :-(
I quarrel with my father literally every day, because he thinks I can' do anything right. I feel like I'm living in hell😣😢
How disgusting that you form a bond because your parents don’t accept your sexuality. That’s what unites you. You’re such a vile generation.
mattea never fails to make me laugh
she's the best
@@Makingemi Honestly. Can’t wait to see more from you guys. 🫶🏻
“One lesbian is equivalent to two people.” I’ve never heard such a truer statement!
I'm sorry but that is not in the slightest bit true.
@@conlon4332 hyperbole, my friend
proud of you for growing as an individual and being able to appreciate the good around you. it can be so difficult having a parent put their stern beliefs over their relationship with children but you are absolutely correct. if he would like to focus on pleasing the lord and miss out on the wonderful life of his amazing daughter than so be it. you are doing wonders for the community and bringing a smile to my face every sunday. thank you maki xx
“MAKI” AWWWW
awhh :’)
you can’t spell mahak without mak lolll
MAKI THAT'S SO CUTE JSFHASKJDFHSDFK
♥️
That’s the best interpretation of “it gets better” I’ve heard and i think that it will make a lot more sense to people. Thanks for that. I absolutely feel that for sure! Just because others aren’t happier and didn’t grow with me, i am much happier and have grown and I’m okay with that! LOL and to bertha and M … you’re setting the bar on self therapy, keep it up! Whatever works eh!
Demi-sexual here: it took me a while to figure this out about myself. Even if I "hooked" up with someone, I always had to have at least a good conversation with them where we agreed on pop culture or philosophy or something that made me feel comfortable with them. Whereas my friend, would just grab someone and take them into the bathroom of the bar and have never talked to them and she had no issues doing that. I had a couple almost hookups without connection and each time panicked at the last minute and found an excuse to leave. I never understood why I coulnd't hook up with these people that were very attractive to me physically but I just couldn't follow through.
SAME! If I don't "click" there is nothing going on
“I never felt at peace” resonated with me so so much; these conversations really help me with, almost, letting go of the idea that my dad will 100% change/become a better person? Basically I’m becoming more accustomed to the idea of moving on, on my own as a person and not hanging on to my dad :) it’s hard to change someone who has been thinking a certain way for 20-30+ years (or even their entire life) within a short time or, more accurately, 5-10 years🤷🏽♀️
Only Mattea could try to therapize herself and have it ACTUALLY WORK
It actually kind of made sense though...
Bro. The thing you said about your dad was LITERALLY my life. Holy hell, everything you said about being terrified, NO PEACE, was exactly my teenage years. My dad screwed me up for years, I’m in my mid-twenties and still working through undoing the damage he caused me. It was bad. I never told anyone anything about how much I was truly suffering. It permanently put a wedge in our relationship and it’s unfortunate that I’ll never have a relationship with my dad and honestly never will. But honestly, it’s comforting knowing someone else actually went through and felt the same as I did with their strictly religious father. It does get better.
I really love your serious talks about religion because they mean a lot to me because I’ve had very similar experiences with my father and it makes me feel better and I appreciate you so much
When you were talking about your dad, and how things can get better, man that was something I really needed to hear. I come from a very religious family and a very religious school. I am a lesbian, and I always felt terrified growing up because of their beliefs. And like you, I never felt peace, I felt broken, and like I had to choose between falling in love, getting married, adopting a kid, or going to heaven, and I has so much anxiety because of it. Finding your videos, and Alayna, and just an amazing queer community… it really helped me start to love who I was. And you were right, I couldn’t change the community around me, but I started to feel happy with who I was, and confident, and look forward to having a beautiful girlfriend and amazing wedding. It was like I took back a part of myself I had given away to people who didn’t support me. You can’t change hone other people view you, but you can change how you view yourself. You’ve helped me and so much of your community so much Mak… thank you for all the amazing content you’ve made over the years. : )
I had the same conversation with my father too (one week sog).
Also one year later. It was not so nice. He is very conservative and is seeing my sexuality as a decision to make. BUT. After a long and painful conversation he took me in his arms and said: „You are my child and I love you.“
After that, the conversation was over and I cried a lot after it.
(Sorry for my bad English. I am from Germany 😅)
*ago (Goddammit)
I’m not sure if I’ll ever even try and come out to mine…
Greetings from Austria
I connect to the sentiment of 'I feel sorry for them'. My mom is someone I'm very close to but she has had a really hard time accepting my sexuality. I genuinely feel sorry for her that she is not able to know the entirety of my life. Until she accepts this part of me, she will never be able to know me.
watching you and mattea truly just makes my heart smile
Thank you for being so honest about your dad and you. I wouldn’t have the courage to, but it’s so insanely comforting to hear you put to words my own situation. People can get so caught up in their dogma that they overlook what’s right in front of them. Thank you.
Still hung up on what you said about your dad and about the meaning of "it gets better." Yes, it's incredibly difficult to accept that a person may never change, but it's also so amazing to feel the impact they have on you change, even if their beliefs don't.
I have also had a complex relationship with my dad, he has always been very abusive and stuff and I am just in the process of trying to let go of the anger and sorrow and just trying to give myself the respect and the space to heal. Hope it gets better ❤
I totally agree with what you had to say about the phrase it gets better, very insightful! I no longer talk to my dad, but I learned to accept that he is who he is and I can't change that, so I might as well focus on those who love me instead. In doing so, I have moved on and the loss of our relationship doesn't hurt me anymore. (or at least not nearly as much)
❤️ I love your take on “It gets better” and looking within-I’m not religious any more but you reminded me of the serenity prayer and how essential it is to focus on what we can control and let go of the things we can’t… plus I cannot make pizza like your sister but your video inspired a pizza dinner 😋 🍕 thank you for sharing and for being you!
Very inciteful about your dad. That first video about your finding out proved to me that you were a Rock Star it was so raw, and I'm sure a lot of people benefited from your honesty. Organized religion scares me mainly because of their narrow thinking and that the bible has been edited over the centuries. Your pizza night looked amazing. Maybe Mattea should do a therapy session with that therapist who was in one of your videos almost a year ago. I loved that you made that video solo playing both on-screen parts while doing everything else.
Well, I do a lot of self-therapy but actual therapy is priceless and I still recomend you doing that. X)
I love what you said about it getting better, not always outside of you, but within you. Proud of you!!
Your Sunday videos come out on a Monday for me in Australia. They always make that first day of the work week so much better. Thank you for making my Mondays suck less :)
My dad is also set in his ways. Neither me nor my sister have come out to him yet. At this point, I don't make enough money to move out (Car payments are really knocking me down). It's hard living with someone who has such vastly different opinions from yours. I'm a conflict-avoidant person, so most of the time I'll just agree half-heartedly to not cause any drama. You should've heard his opinions on the Covid vaccine... I hope that I get to finish my car payments and move out soon because this environment can really break a person down.
✂️ I love hearing your struggles and how you personally work through things and then I can go back to my own life with a new perspective! Thank you for being so transparent and just yourself!
i fully support your sister and the 'self-therapy,' i've been doing the same thing for the past few months and i get it. it works, somehow? slowly but surely, i'm noticing changes within myself. ofc it's not as good as therapy with a professional but hey, she has point - no one knows you better than yourself.
Thanks for the vulnerability and sharing Mak! I think its actually really powerful representation and relatable in alot of ways! Youre doing so well!
...also I fully relate to Mattea's ''Self-Therapising'' I do it too, after discovering I was the bet therapist ive even been to. haha! here for it!
I related so much to what you said about your dad - both of my parents are like that unfortunately and I've come to realise there's no point being angry with them because they just raised me how they thought was best and I do feel so sorry for them and all of their beliefs/fears because of their religion, but I know that's out of my control and I've somewhat come to peace with that. So thank you for sharing, it made me feel a bit better and a bit more hopeful for my future :)
I absolutely love that idea of "self therapy"!!
My therapist would LOVE the way Mattea is being mindful and is able to think things through like that, lmao, I could never
I can relate to the dad thing. I haven't came out to my dad yet because i fear he wont ever talk to me again. I came out to my mother a few years ago as bi but I'm a lesbian. she "accepts me" but i feel as though its only because there's still a possibility that ill have a husband one day. But like you said I'm sure things will get better somehow. This is one of the main reasons i love watching your videos because sometimes when I feel lonley I remember that there are others going through similar situations. Its nice to have someone you could somewhat relate to. Keep being you mak, and thanks for the content :)
You can't even use a real name?? How do anyone know this story is real? Don't flatter yourself. Being bi doesn't necessarily mean any man would want you anyhow
@@johnscott488 I dont know what you mean. And I'm lesbian not Bi.
@@notyouruser. yes as you stated. Still no man would probably even want you even if you were bi.
@John Scott Man what? Nothing about the experience they mention is far fetched, also literally so many people don't use their legal names on the internet because it's unsafe, especially if you're part of any marginalized communities AND, if someone is closeted and doesn't want to get outed to a parent, why might I ask would they broadcast their identity? It would be doxxing themselves and opening things up to getting outed by strangers.
Also, how is "no man might want you anyhow" relevant or even an insult to begin with in this context? If they don't want men, it works better to not be appealing or wanted by them anyway so you can be left the heyull alone.
In the same tone as you with just as much relevance, women might not ever want you anyhow :)
Love you Mak! Stay safe my dear.
Your talk about things getting better made me feel safe. Thanks, Mak. Hope everything is going good. You are a really cool person✂️ Also, Mattea is really funny she always makes my day😂
Personally I think demisexuality is a bit more nuanced than that definition gives. Asexuality is a spectrum, after all, so there's variation in people who are demisexual. The word "only" in the definition has definitely caught me up and prevented me from embracing this label for a few years, but eventually I realized that my "preference" for avoiding one night stands and casual hookups is actually required for my mental health. I think there are different kinds of attraction, and that's where the definition gets sticky. People have to have something very special for me to look at them and want to sleep with them (not that it never happens, but it's very rare) so that's sexual attraction, but I think that fluttery feeling I get when looking at a pretty person is different. I don't want to sleep with them. I'm probably not going to be able to open my mouth and talk to them; I just want to be around them; to see them, feel their energy. I don't think that's sexual attraction. I don't know what it is, but kinda like you said, I wouldn't act on that attraction. I consider myself demisexual because nothing's going to happen until I feel secure in a relationship.
The other thing to remember is that demisexual is a different sort of sexuality label. It's not describing so much who you like but more when you feel that spark. Like, being demisexual wouldn't replace your identity of a lesbian, but it would be another adjective to describe your lesbianism :) Plus it can help explain to new partners that you like to take things slow.
Even if it's not a label for you, it was really cool to see you talking through your thoughts on demisexuality and how it may or may not describe you.
Your sister is hilarious!
Good for her!
Spread the happy!
It's sad to hear that your dad is still with his ideas but in the other hand i'm proud of you for overcoming the situation and sharing your reality with the world. And i agree with you, the reason why we all say "It gets better" is in fact because You'll Get Better and you'll understand that you have to live your life feelling happy and proud of who you are no matter what. Sending love, Mak❤ Amazing video as allways😎
Hi Mak! Hope you have a wonderful week!
I was really moved by your view about “it gets better”. It really opened my eyes to the possibility it might be about me and not what they think of me… thank you so much for opening up. It’s not an easy thing to do especially on the internet and about a subject like that. We love you so much!! ❤️
11:08 props to you for understanding term and not just jumping right in with the term. Because as a demi-bi-sexual, let me tell you it's not a choice, i don't find people attractive until I have known them enough, it's like, only after i get to know them, this switch turns on and ONLY THEN, i can ✨appreciate ✨ their physical features (you know what I mean)
It's hard, because when my friends were checking out senior boys and having crushes on celebs i was there like "how can you have a crush on a person that you don't know?", My sexuality doesn't work like that, it's like, I'm asexual until I'm not. Which is the reason I've had like, only 5 sexual crushes till date.
And the worst is when i tell a person about it and they go "ohh looks like I'm demisexual too haha" NO SIR, you're not, i just saw you lusting over that girl in the store, which, by the way, i can't do EVEN if i wanted to, you know why? Demisexuality :')
it has come to a point that I don't tell people about my demisexuality because I know people will say "ohh! Then I'm demisexual too! Haha" without even researching the term. And it's just disrespectful, my experiences of alienation feel so disrespected.
Thank god you didn't take up a label that didn't match up with your experiences
Because sexuality is NOT a choice.
As a (semi closeted) demi bi I relate to this
I have a hard relationship with my mom because of her beliefs And I just came to terms with the fact that I'm lesbian bc I was afraid just the things you were talking about but the way you put it gave me a whole new perspective and even if I don't have that perfect relationship with my mom I have other friends/family who support me so thanks for the new perspective ♥️
The dad stuff is helpful to hear. My husband and I are bi/poly but he's scared of his dad disowning him. So he's uncomfortable with either of us being very out. It hurts my heart - I'm tired of hiding. It's at least good to hear that if it were to happen that it would probably get easier with time and processing.
I LOVE your perspective on how things get better! How you feel better about who you are instead of how your dad changes. I think that's so beautiful and so mature to realize that change within yourself is still so powerful and can make a huge difference even if others won't change. 💙💙😁
The line about... things might get better outside but they'll definitely do inside.. is so true! ❤
just wanted to say that you're helping me define the person I want to be, thank you so much xx
therapy with yourself is such a thing i do it too and mattea explained it so good.
i also related to Mak's demisexual tendencies
I haven't watched yet but I'm so happy you uploaded today I was just looking for something to watch while doing my makeup
funnn omg, every Sunday baby
My relationship with my father is not very good either. Like you, I feel sorry for my father sometimes, but most of the time our relationship, family bond and myself that I'm sorry about. Sometimes we can't help it but think... They say "it is people who make life difficult." Very true. However, when I look into your eyes, it is clear what a wonderful person you are..
As a demisexual, one way to know if you’re demi or not is to see if you’ve ever experienced sexual attraction towards celebrities! I’ve never had a celebrity crush, sure I’ve liked aesthetics of many but never like a sexual attraction of “wow…” you know?
What if you feel an emotional connection to a character they've played? Wouldn't that trick your brain into being able to feel sexual attraction to the actor themself?
@@ChibiMizu that’s a great point, I personally have never experienced sexual attraction to a character because I need my emotions to be reciprocated in order to call it a connection and less one-sided-attraction. I feel that like all sexualities, demisexuality can mean different things to different people!
Thanks for the vlog!
Just love for Mattea's self-therapy!!
Maybe he can give advise how to do it?
Could be a bestseller.
Your take on "It gets better" is everything. (:
This shows the reality of having conservative/religious parents when it comes to pride. I still haven't even came out cause I'm so scared to tell my parents
Mak I missed you, I love your videos, you are super pretty
I loved what you said….
It’s their loss… not ours💜✌️
I think “it gets easier” is a far better phrase than “it gets better.”
You never EVER fail to make my day
You (and Mattea) ROCK, mak! Lovin the look, it’s solid.
I feel so bad that your relationship with your dad hasn’t improved but glad that you’re feeling better that you have built support group and friends, and community as well. Um sorry to say this but your dads missing out on so much stuff but that’s life I guess and loved and enjoyed this video. Love it so much when you and Mattea are together so funny thank you so much for making my day so much better. Thank you for sharing this great video
so thankful for your videos. you’re one of the people i relate to the most ✂️🙂 i hope you’re having a good week!
Looove your depth, truth and heart!! Super Powerful, You!!!💥
Keep on trucking my dear xx
On a road trip in Georgia where there's barely any internet / i motion sickness easily and I am watching, you because it's honestly the best I've felt on this trip🥰🥰🥰....going to sleep soon😂
Wow, hearing you talk about your Dad and how you've grown in your perspective of dealing with him is amazing. You are nearly 8 years younger than me, but have a maturity that I have yet to get. Perhaps it's in large part due to the fact I still live with my parents; I'm trying not to be too hard on myself. I do have one question I'd like you to answer of you come across my comment, did you ever hold these beliefs yourself? Like did you consider yourself a Christian at any point in your younger life?
Just recently started watching your videos. I enjoy them so much, your super, your gf is really funny 😁 I am sorry for your pain in regards to your dad. I think it's his loss as you rock. I have 4 daughters aged between 8 n 22. I love them too much to ever treat them like he's treating you. It makes me sad but your AWESOME so keep on smiling young lady 😊 🖖 peace out 🤪
Being yourself is the coolest thing ever! There may be a lot of things in reality that we can't foresee, but Mak you've done a great job🥳
Thank you so much for the piece about it getting better !!!
mattea is actually so funny i love her
im demisexual too- its rlly comforting to see others feel the same way! ✂️
Most women are demisexuaI, no need to label it. Society makes men the standard and they are more obsessed with the physical and not the emotional.
THE SCISSOR EMOJI GOT ME
The fucking scissor emoji
Didn't she said she's not demi
I totally connected with not quite fitting the definition for being demi but only wanting to act on sexual attraction with an emotional connection.
Ps: LOL Métia!! (Sp?)- I am a therapist and Love that she’s doing her own and calls it that. Authentic as F!! Omg!! You two!!! 🙏😂
I feel like that's how my relationship is gonna go with my parents when I come out. I know I even thought/ felt these things toward myself. But as confusing as it all is if there's a God out there he made me and idk what else he wants from me other than to want him back. I don't think there's strings attached just love.
Really appreciate you talking about issues with conservative family and things around that.
I'm 26, grew up in a repressive religious environment. A very dear friend of mine who's family went to the same church was forced into conversion therapy. This was one of those ~cool modern churches~ that puts on a (relatively) progressive face... yeah, the underbelly of these places is still the same. But that isnt the point, the point is we were both damaged by this and at 26/27 we are still far FAR from "over it." I didnt even recognize how much it was affecting my adult life until I was 24... a full decade after I started deconstructing my own faith.
This dear friend and I, we're lucky to have each other. We talk deep about this shit and it means so much. But so many people went through or are going through similar things, and they dont have anyone to talk to. They may hear "it gets better," but who's going to show them the path? I think, if I had seen someone like you when I was 13 and the realization that I was a lesbian first entered my brain, my life may have been very different. At least, my teens and early 20s may have been happy. It probably doesnt feel like much to you, but you're doing a really positive thing for gay kids growing up in that world.
Ok I'm done being sappy, how the hell are you out here in MO wearing sweaters and jackets and shit. It's been a little cooler the last few days but it's still muggy as shit DAMN.
so what do you ask for when you get your haircut! Also what did you ask for when you first cut it that short? transitioning from shoulder length to your style is super tricky im nervous!
Laughed out loud when her sister was like"are you sure she didn't mean Demi Lovato" mak didn't even laff 😠
My screen cuts off the edges, so with this is full screen the first word appears as "hanging" which I think is quite funny! "hanging my sexualities label"
I need that pizza dough recipe!! They looked so good!
very much agree with what you said about "it gets better"
having the entertainer and lofi beats play at the same time is an experience
Okay, just real quick: just cause demisexual didn't work, doesn't mean that you're not somewhere on the ace spectrum. What you're describing could be graysexual or some other label in this part of the spectrum :) I hope it helped
Speaking as someone who's also decidedly somewhere on the ace spectrum, and just kind of gray? And also, bi? My take is, I'm not really invested in other people "identifying" as ace, and I don't think they need to, if it's not helpful to them. I only say I am because, if I don't? Other people don't get it! And that can often be pretty terrifying! As I can't make myself convincingly act like a normally sexual person, and sexually react / respond in a way that's expected of normally sexual people. Hence I really NEED that explanation of: "oh, I'm ace", to help typically sexual folks understand why I am the way I am, without expecting me to be just like them.
But I mean, everyone's sexuality is different! For some people, it is VERY clear-cut and set in stone. While for people like me..? It's a lot more fluctuating, grey, messy, confusing, etc. Yet I know, if no one had expected me to satisfy their expectations, by acting in ways I just CAN'T get on board with, because it's just NOT how I function..? I would not have needed the label of "ace" to describe myself, at all. And I probably would have just ditched it. Speaking as someone who's also anti woke, anti snowflake, anti gender ideology, etc. BUT..? When things are what they are, that's just how it is, and it makes you need a word for "divergent" / "I can't play along with this", basically. That's all. And if Makingemi manages to sexually conform, to the point that she does NOT feel a need for that..? Then cool! And she can certainly reject the "ace spectrum" completely. All the better, not actually NEEDING that, in fact. I rest my case.
"it's a thrilllll" lmao
but in all seriousness, Mak, I appreciate you talking about the situation with your dad. you are less alone than you know.
I love how mak isn’t even phased by the random things mattea does
You’re loved Mac
we love youuuu
I talk to myself almost every day and it’s done wonders.
new place looks great
Your eyebrows are gorgeous
✂️ Love your videos!! And I can really relate to the dad part :/
feeling sexual attraction to people you dont know; but just not feeling an urge to act on it, usually just means that you are very "self-sufficient".
it was shocking to me when i learned how many 20something women have no idea how to care for themselfs.(mostly straight women)
really tragic.
and no, im not talking about cooking. ;)
proud of you mak!! thanks for sharing, what you said about focusing inward on things getting better is really true
Love this. Thank you for sharing this with us ✂️
✂️love your videos! Thanks for sharing your experience with us!
ILY MAK
4:21- 4:50 same unfortunately, except that my dad is more aggressive (it can get pretty physical) and the "sin" is cutting my hair above my shoulder (used to be really long), and according to his religion I'm not sinning because I have to cut it above my earlobe for it to be a sin. He thinks I look like half a man now and that's where his aggression stems from, so imagine if he found out that I am lesbian lmao, I would be pretty dead by now. I'm an agonist now so I don't give a shit about what he thinks of me now.
I think you mean agnostic heh, but yeah same
Ok no mattea is on to something. I therapize myself 1) because my therapist kinda sucks and 2) if you have an understanding of brains and are also able to do good research, it really is helpful. Like I’ve been able to identify my trauma, figure out not only how to get through it but move on for now without unsafely compartmentalizing.
Oh and mak you pretty therapized yourself after your convo with your dad even if it wasn’t an intentional like ‘sit down and have a conversation with yourself’ therapy.
I've been doing my own therapy since 2019 (mostly due to regional lack of options at the time) but found it more effective than any therapy before (and I had done over 15 years of therapy with a professional). I think some of the benefits are you can have therapy anytime, which is really helpful wit having those breakthrough moments. You can go into very personal spaces without editing due to self consciousness. You can call yourself out on your bullshit better. Yes, you do have to do lots of research, so it won't be for everyone but I have grown more in the past 4 years of self therapy than I ever did with professionals. Not to discredit them because every person needs different things and approaches and I fully believe in the power of a good professional!
The video I needed rn thank you y’all are awesome ❤️❤️❤️
Who is the older sis?
Loved the vid!
my comfort youtuber fr
Things will get better inside you 👏👏👏
What's the training regimen you've been doing?
“One lesbian is equivalent to two people”
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK 🗣💪😭
✂️ love you and all your content so much 😙