Your video is beautiful. I can tell that you have been listening to God in your life. I was a Dominican Sister for nine years. It was time for me to make a choice of taking final vows or leaving the community. During a year-long discernment process, I realized, like you, that God was not calling me to that lifestyle. I am so grateful for the nine years that I had with the sisters, and I am grateful that I left the convent. That was all many years ago, and I am a retired teacher now. God works marvelous deeds through us when we listen to him. I pray that you feel as blessed with your life choices as I do with mine. Have a beautiful life.😇
Hello, thank you so much for your comments and sharing some of your story. I’d love to hear more if you’d like to share! I loved that you put “God works marvellous deeds through us when we listen to him.” 🕊️I hope you’re having a lovely week. C
@@carolineleighton it is my pleasure to share a little more, and this week is truly lovely. I pray that yours is as well.🙏🏽 Because I had listened to my heart, I was able to take care of my mother when she developed Alzheimer’s disease. That would not have been possible, had I stayed in the Dominican community. I have been blessed to have adult former students and their families share how I impacted their lives. Now, in my retirement years, it is such a blessing to tell God that I still want to be of service, and watch miracles unfold as new people come into my life that I would’ve never met without God’s intervention. He leads me to help in ways that I would’ve never thought of. (For instance, last month I was put on the schedule to help bring meals to a sweet 102 year old lady every week.) Her name is Dorothy and she is blessing my life more than I am blessing hers. Like you, I love animals and missed them dearly in the convent. (although, I fed squirrels out of my bedroom/cell window and got to know each one individually. I heard that after I left, no one would use my bedroom because the squirrels were driving them nuts knocking on the window.😂) Through the years I have had many cats and dogs.🥰 From the beauty of your videos, I can tell that you still are listening to God, and following where he leads. From personal experience, I can tell you that as long as you put God first, and listen to what he is telling you, your life will continue to be a beautiful adventure. God bless you always on your journey of life.❤️
I entered Carmel years ago but left after a couple of months. I loved all the obvious aspects and even fell in love with the privations and austerity but I just couldn't bear being around the same women every day for the rest of my life. I also felt trapped behind the walls and iron bars on the windows. I'd see a plane fly by high in the sky and longed for the same freedom to soar like it. Before entering I knew deep down God was saying this wasn't His Will but I held out hope He would in the end give in to my will and confirm my supposed vocation. I struggled with social interactions and started to dread recreation and other get togethers. I was socially awkward and the sisters picked up on this. I'm sure they thought I was being rude. After i left I grieved for choir and reciting the divine office, for the silence and for my cell. Even though it hadn't been His will God showered me with many graces and He allowed me to find Him deep within my soul in a way i dont think I could have found Him in the world. I still miss it, over 23 years later.
Or a member of a secular institute where the women are consecrated by vows and live and work in their own place ... There is a Carmelite one called the Leaven ... I couldn't be a nun as I longed because of dependants ... Perhaps when we yearn for the convent it is a deeper yearning for God ... ie the God of the convent rather than the convent of God ... The Leaven was a wonderful gift to me ...( shameless touting going on here 😉) but seriously..wherever God leads you, going into a convent even for a short time is NEVER a mistake ... ! ♥️🙏
I love this so much! I was in a Poor Clare community for three years and although it’s been more than a decade since I left I still miss it so much. Even though it was my decision to leave I still feel like I haven’t moved on sometimes.
I also missed the first Carmel where I did my aspirancy, 11 years ago. So I returned to my discernment and now I think I finally found my Carmel in another place far from home after 3 attempts 😂
This is the complete opposite to my situation. I'm now inside a Discalced Carmelite Monastery doing my third search in. I think I found *my* Carmel now. I've always known that my vocation is to be a Carmelite for 11 years. But my struggle is that I am really missing my old life, the freedom of being able to choose the most trivial things in the outside world such as how you want to spend your time or the food that you want to eat. The great disadvantage of being in the secular world is the total lack of discipline by people, the noise all around, both literally and figuratively speaking and the abundance of temptations. You really give up everything in the cloister. It's not a life for everyone. So it's not surprising that only very few persevere.
You are absolutely beautiful and your JOY and the Light of Jesus shines through you! You’re radiant actually! I wish you all the very best, God Bless you. Thank you for sharing your story.
A friend's son has tried 3 times to enter a cloistered monastery off the coast of Scotland. He ended up leaving and coming back to the States all three times.
@@canuck9687 No this was an island community of monks. The only way there was by boat. It was very remote. The last attempt his parents went there for his clothing ceremony and posted many pictures.
Just stumbled on this video, 7 months late. It REALLY resonated with me. I empathize with the 'culture shock' you describe whenever I have a rest week out of my convent! I haven't had the same experience of leaving religious life but I've left two former religious communities. Several of my former Novice friends from other communities came, like you, to the discernment that Jesus WASN'T calling them to religious life after all, or not to that community. This video will be such a blessing and support to others in a similar position. It's something that there is less written about and that there seems less support for. There's so much support for someone adjusting to religious life and their first months IN a convent but not much support the other way round! It takes just as much courage and openness to God to say 'this community ISN'T where God is calling me' as it does to be willing to ENTER religious life, so you have shown both types of courage and openness. I'll be thinking and praying for you and looking out for your updates as God's will for your life enfolds... x
Hello, and thank you so much for watching my video. I think I’ve watched some of yours before, but will go on properly to your channel to make sure. Thank you so much for your kind comments. Yes, I felt that too, that there isn’t much about leaving an Order and adjusting back to life or to a different path God brings us too. Thank you for sharing your experiences too, and thank you for your prayers. That’s very kind and I will keep you and your convent in my prayers as well. 🙏Caroline
You are such a serene person God is working definitely in your life. Your surroundings seem so peaceful and you seem so committed to your faith God will definitely direct you to your Faith filled purpose.
I think it’s important that you went through the discernment process. It wasn’t a mistake, your longing to give yourself to God completely is a beautiful thing, and that was real. It’s ok that He wants you somewhere else. I wish you well in the future. He has plans to give you a future full of hope.
Hello, and thank you so much for your kind and encouraging comments. Yes, it definitely was the right choice to make at that time. I’ve transformed so much from being with the nuns and learning more of what the Lord wants for me. I wish you well too. Thank you. 🙏C
Thank you for taking the time to share your stories and insights. It really does help seekers like myself who are looking for answers. I think you are very courageous. God Bless you.
Hi Caroline Thank you for that insightful talk. I think you have done so much good work since you left Carmel. I have wondered what it must be hard for people who have been in a monastery for years to make that transition into today's world.
Hi, thank you so much for your kind comments. Yes, I think it must be hard for people who have been in for a long time. I hope you have a beautiful Christmas. 🎄🙏C
I like how you add those beautiful moments of pause in your testimony where you showed a short video of Simba walking and the other one with scripture and a landscape.
Thank you for your wonderful sharing of your cloistered experience and then the experience of moving forward. I also wondered about cloistered life and after. Ed, OCDS
Thank you Caroline. A true religious monastic life is for the humble, those willing to turn their backs on the world, obedient to do God’s bidding and a calling from God Most High.
I think God needed you out in the world, Carolyn, to live the Christian life as a witness of Christ, so that those that don't follow Christ see that witness. If all Catholics not only knew their faith, but actually lived it, we (Catholics) could change the world. We have what the entire world needs, we have the message of life and the message of truth. We need to be in the world and not of it (i.e. no shopping on Sundays, not dressing immodestly). You cannot tell Catholics from the world, which just saddens me.
Hello, thank you so much for your message. Yes, I do completely agree with you there and I can feel your enthusiasm! 🙏If we be true to ourselves and shine our lights, we will help many people, and I loved that you used the word witness. Let’s pray for this change in the world. 🕊️C
Hi Caroline. Can you tell a little about why you chose the Carmelites, which is a very closed order and not for example an order where the nuns work i.e. teach ? Thank you.
I was talking b to a woman who had also left her order. She told me that the food was awful for her. So bland that she just ate i t vfor substinance and got no pleasure from it at all. But she said that they did have a number of community pets and that one little dog had adopted her -- sort of like a big sister
I’m curious, how can you be so sure of Gods will for you ,you said “ he said to me very clearly “ , how did you come to this conclusion as of course we actually can’t hear his voice talking to us
Hi, thank you so much for your comment. I do hear the Lord’s voice in very deep prayer sessions, and that time before I left the convent was one of them. It doesn’t happen all day every day, but having been in an incredibly peaceful and prayerful environment for five months, I was able to really go to my deepest centre with God - and there you can hear him. It was a just a few simple words and that’s all I needed, along with a beautiful feeling of peace which stayed, and the discernment of the community as well. 🙏C
Hello, yes I was there then and met her. She is buried in the grounds and we said prayers at her grave and laid flowers. I was so blessed to be there when she was and learn so much. Thank you for watching. 🙏C
@@carolineleighton Oh yes, you are indeed very blessed to have met and known her! I was very much a fan of hers for many years. Someday I would like to visit and lay flowers as well. Do they ever allow the public to visit the cemetery?
@@frumaatholoid I’m afraid they don’t as that’s their private enclosure, so the public can’t enter. But I’m sure they would lay the flowers for you, even I know that’s not the same. C
I hope you don't consider it rude for me to ask your interpretation of God's leading for you changing? You obviously must have thought you were being called when you entered Carmel? Did you misinterpret God's leading or did it change?
Hello, I don’t think you’re rude at all. 😀Thank you for your comments. The calling changed once I’d been inside Carmel for about five months where Jesus could speak to me in the deep solitude. I was definitely called to the life, and then He asked me to leave and do the work I’m doing now. Everything I learnt in there is still rippling out two years later - it was a vital part of my path. 🔥🙏
And I believe now that I’m called to be consecrated to Him as a sister in the world, and not in a community which is what Carmel is, and I wouldn’t have known that had I not gone in, so Jesus always knows what He’s doing. We just have to keep listening. C
Hello. Thank you for your message. I left because it became evident after a few months that the Lord wasn’t calling me to monastic life as a Carmelite. My vocation is to spread the importance of prayer and our relationship with God in the world, and I’m published with my church music now too. Thank you for watching. 😀🙏Caroline
Your video is beautiful. I can tell that you have been listening to God in your life.
I was a Dominican Sister for nine years. It was time for me to make a choice of taking final vows or leaving the community. During a year-long discernment process, I realized, like you, that God was not calling me to that lifestyle. I am so grateful for the nine years that I had with the sisters, and I am grateful that I left the convent.
That was all many years ago, and I am a retired teacher now. God works marvelous deeds through us when we listen to him.
I pray that you feel as blessed with your life choices as I do with mine. Have a beautiful life.😇
Hello, thank you so much for your comments and sharing some of your story. I’d love to hear more if you’d like to share! I loved that you put “God works marvellous deeds through us when we listen to him.” 🕊️I hope you’re having a lovely week. C
@@carolineleighton it is my pleasure to share a little more, and this week is truly lovely. I pray that yours is as well.🙏🏽
Because I had listened to my heart, I was able to take care of my mother when she developed Alzheimer’s disease. That would not have been possible, had I stayed in the Dominican community.
I have been blessed to have adult former students and their families share how I impacted their lives. Now, in my retirement years, it is such a blessing to tell God that I still want to be of service, and watch miracles unfold as new people come into my life that I would’ve never met without God’s intervention. He leads me to help in ways that I would’ve never thought of. (For instance, last month I was put on the schedule to help bring meals to a sweet 102 year old lady every week.) Her name is Dorothy and she is blessing my life more than I am blessing hers.
Like you, I love animals and missed them dearly in the convent. (although, I fed squirrels out of my bedroom/cell window and got to know each one individually. I heard that after I left, no one would use my bedroom because the squirrels were driving them nuts knocking on the window.😂) Through the years I have had many cats and dogs.🥰
From the beauty of your videos, I can tell that you still are listening to God, and following where he leads. From personal experience, I can tell you that as long as you put God first, and listen to what he is telling you, your life will continue to be a beautiful adventure.
God bless you always on your journey of life.❤️
I entered Carmel years ago but left after a couple of months. I loved all the obvious aspects and even fell in love with the privations and austerity but I just couldn't bear being around the same women every day for the rest of my life. I also felt trapped behind the walls and iron bars on the windows. I'd see a plane fly by high in the sky and longed for the same freedom to soar like it. Before entering I knew deep down God was saying this wasn't His Will but I held out hope He would in the end give in to my will and confirm my supposed vocation. I struggled with social interactions and started to dread recreation and other get togethers. I was socially awkward and the sisters picked up on this. I'm sure they thought I was being rude. After i left I grieved for choir and reciting the divine office, for the silence and for my cell. Even though it hadn't been His will God showered me with many graces and He allowed me to find Him deep within my soul in a way i dont think I could have found Him in the world. I still miss it, over 23 years later.
Have thought about joining a third order? Maybe your calling is that of a third order instead of a second order. God bless😊!
Or a member of a secular institute where the women are consecrated by vows and live and work in their own place ... There is a Carmelite one called the Leaven ... I couldn't be a nun as I longed because of dependants ... Perhaps when we yearn for the convent it is a deeper yearning for God ... ie the God of the convent rather than the convent of God ... The Leaven was a wonderful gift to me ...( shameless touting going on here 😉) but seriously..wherever God leads you, going into a convent even for a short time is NEVER a mistake ... ! ♥️🙏
I love this so much! I was in a Poor Clare community for three years and although it’s been more than a decade since I left I still miss it so much. Even though it was my decision to leave I still feel like I haven’t moved on sometimes.
I also missed the first Carmel where I did my aspirancy, 11 years ago. So I returned to my discernment and now I think I finally found my Carmel in another place far from home after 3 attempts 😂
This is the complete opposite to my situation. I'm now inside a Discalced Carmelite Monastery doing my third search in. I think I found *my* Carmel now. I've always known that my vocation is to be a Carmelite for 11 years. But my struggle is that I am really missing my old life, the freedom of being able to choose the most trivial things in the outside world such as how you want to spend your time or the food that you want to eat. The great disadvantage of being in the secular world is the total lack of discipline by people, the noise all around, both literally and figuratively speaking and the abundance of temptations. You really give up everything in the cloister. It's not a life for everyone. So it's not surprising that only very few persevere.
You are absolutely beautiful and your JOY and the Light of Jesus shines through you! You’re radiant actually! I wish you all the very best, God Bless you. Thank you for sharing your story.
Hello, thank you so much for your kind words and for watching my video. 😀🙏C
A friend's son has tried 3 times to enter a cloistered monastery off the coast of Scotland. He ended up leaving and coming back to the States all three times.
Was it a Benedictine monastery in north Scotland…Pluscarden Abbey….i visited there in September ✝️🤷🏿♂️🇨🇦
@@canuck9687 No this was an island community of monks. The only way there was by boat. It was very remote. The last attempt his parents went there for his clothing ceremony and posted many pictures.
I am discerning religious life and your videos are very helpful. Thank You! ❤
Just stumbled on this video, 7 months late. It REALLY resonated with me. I empathize with the 'culture shock' you describe whenever I have a rest week out of my convent! I haven't had the same experience of leaving religious life but I've left two former religious communities. Several of my former Novice friends from other communities came, like you, to the discernment that Jesus WASN'T calling them to religious life after all, or not to that community. This video will be such a blessing and support to others in a similar position. It's something that there is less written about and that there seems less support for. There's so much support for someone adjusting to religious life and their first months IN a convent but not much support the other way round! It takes just as much courage and openness to God to say 'this community ISN'T where God is calling me' as it does to be willing to ENTER religious life, so you have shown both types of courage and openness. I'll be thinking and praying for you and looking out for your updates as God's will for your life enfolds... x
Hello, and thank you so much for watching my video. I think I’ve watched some of yours before, but will go on properly to your channel to make sure. Thank you so much for your kind comments. Yes, I felt that too, that there isn’t much about leaving an Order and adjusting back to life or to a different path God brings us too. Thank you for sharing your experiences too, and thank you for your prayers. That’s very kind and I will keep you and your convent in my prayers as well. 🙏Caroline
You are such a serene person God is working definitely in your life. Your surroundings seem so peaceful and you seem so committed to your faith God will definitely direct you to your Faith filled purpose.
Hello, thank you so much for your lovely and encouraging comments. 🙏😀C
I think it’s important that you went through the discernment process. It wasn’t a mistake, your longing to give yourself to God completely is a beautiful thing, and that was real. It’s ok that He wants you somewhere else. I wish you well in the future. He has plans to give you a future full of hope.
Hello, and thank you so much for your kind and encouraging comments. Yes, it definitely was the right choice to make at that time. I’ve transformed so much from being with the nuns and learning more of what the Lord wants for me. I wish you well too. Thank you. 🙏C
Your witness speaks to me and am thankful for you.
Hi, thank you so much for watching. I’m so pleased you enjoyed the video. More coming soon! 😀C
Thank you for taking the time to share your stories and insights. It really does help seekers like myself who are looking for answers. I think you are very courageous. God Bless you.
Hi Caroline Thank you for that insightful talk. I think you have done so much good work since you left Carmel.
I have wondered what it must be hard for people who have been in a monastery for years to make that transition into today's world.
Hi, thank you so much for your kind comments. Yes, I think it must be hard for people who have been in for a long time. I hope you have a beautiful Christmas. 🎄🙏C
I like how you add those beautiful moments of pause in your testimony where you showed a short video of Simba walking and the other one with scripture and a landscape.
Hi, thank you so much for watching and for your kind comments. Yes, I think it’s good to break up the speaking a bit with the nature and animals. 😀🐾🌿C
Thank you for your wonderful sharing of your cloistered experience and then the experience of moving forward. I also wondered about cloistered life and after. Ed, OCDS
Thank you Caroline. A true religious monastic life is for the humble, those willing to turn their backs on the world, obedient to do God’s bidding and a calling from God Most High.
I think God needed you out in the world, Carolyn, to live the Christian life as a witness of Christ, so that those that don't follow Christ see that witness. If all Catholics not only knew their faith, but actually lived it, we (Catholics) could change the world. We have what the entire world needs, we have the message of life and the message of truth. We need to be in the world and not of it (i.e. no shopping on Sundays, not dressing immodestly). You cannot tell Catholics from the world, which just saddens me.
Hello, thank you so much for your message. Yes, I do completely agree with you there and I can feel your enthusiasm! 🙏If we be true to ourselves and shine our lights, we will help many people, and I loved that you used the word witness. Let’s pray for this change in the world. 🕊️C
I left a monastery after 2 months for similar reasons. Maybe you will consider, consecrated virginity, diocesan hermit or married life. God bless.
Hi Caroline. Can you tell a little about why you chose the Carmelites, which is a very closed order and not for example an order where the nuns work i.e. teach ? Thank you.
Hi, thank you for your message. Yes, of course, I’ll post that soon. 🙏C
@@carolineleighton thank you
You will go back one day.
bellisima.
I was talking b to a woman who had also left her order. She told me that the food was awful for her. So bland that she just ate i t vfor substinance and got no pleasure from it at all.
But she said that they did have a number of community pets and that one little dog had adopted her -- sort of like a big sister
I’m curious, how can you be so sure of Gods will for you ,you said “ he said to me very clearly “ , how did you come to this conclusion as of course we actually can’t hear his voice talking to us
Hi, thank you so much for your comment. I do hear the Lord’s voice in very deep prayer sessions, and that time before I left the convent was one of them. It doesn’t happen all day every day, but having been in an incredibly peaceful and prayerful environment for five months, I was able to really go to my deepest centre with God - and there you can hear him. It was a just a few simple words and that’s all I needed, along with a beautiful feeling of peace which stayed, and the discernment of the community as well. 🙏C
If you’d like to know more, do read or look up the different levels of prayer and you’ll find that many many people hear the Lord’s voice within. C
Were you in the monastery when Sister Wendy was alive? I hear she is buried on the grounds of the Carmelite Monastery in Quidenham.
Hello, yes I was there then and met her. She is buried in the grounds and we said prayers at her grave and laid flowers. I was so blessed to be there when she was and learn so much. Thank you for watching. 🙏C
@@carolineleighton Oh yes, you are indeed very blessed to have met and known her! I was very much a fan of hers for many years. Someday I would like to visit and lay flowers as well. Do they ever allow the public to visit the cemetery?
@@frumaatholoid I’m afraid they don’t as that’s their private enclosure, so the public can’t enter. But I’m sure they would lay the flowers for you, even I know that’s not the same. C
I hope you don't consider it rude for me to ask your interpretation of God's leading for you changing? You obviously must have thought you were being called when you entered Carmel? Did you misinterpret God's leading or did it change?
Hello, I don’t think you’re rude at all. 😀Thank you for your comments. The calling changed once I’d been inside Carmel for about five months where Jesus could speak to me in the deep solitude. I was definitely called to the life, and then He asked me to leave and do the work I’m doing now. Everything I learnt in there is still rippling out two years later - it was a vital part of my path. 🔥🙏
And I believe now that I’m called to be consecrated to Him as a sister in the world, and not in a community which is what Carmel is, and I wouldn’t have known that had I not gone in, so Jesus always knows what He’s doing. We just have to keep listening. C
What was the reason why you left?
Hello. Thank you for your message. I left because it became evident after a few months that the Lord wasn’t calling me to monastic life as a Carmelite. My vocation is to spread the importance of prayer and our relationship with God in the world, and I’m published with my church music now too. Thank you for watching. 😀🙏Caroline