20 minutes of Vegan jokes. Dry Bar Comedy
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- Опубликовано: 30 июл 2024
- 20 minutes of vegan jokes as told by some of your favorite Dry Bar Comedians. Whether you're someone who has chosen to live a vegan lifestyle, or just someone who loves to make fun of vegans this Dry Bar Comedy compilation has a little something for everyone and is sure to keep you laughing from beginning to end.
Comedians featured in this compilation include: Karen Rontowski, Joe Bronzi, Collin Moulton, Alex Velluto, Lee Hardin, Matthew Jenkins, Larry Weaver, Jeff Applebaum, Jason Salmon, Kortney Shane Williams, Erica Rhodes, Andy Hendrickson, Travis Nelson, Karen Morgan, Bob Smiley, Josh Sneed,
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Okay, we'll agree to call almond milk "nut juice" if you change the name of veal to "tortured baby cows."
You think vegans don't torture all the humans
The torture is why it taste so good.
@@G-Fi-High You do you.
Well they should call cow milk, cow juice!
Tortured baby cows taste good
Luckily I’m vegan, so I had plenty of time alone to enjoy this montage.
Good for you
Haha samme
Check out Connie's Rawsome Kitchen videos because she is amazing!
Now that there is funny!
Very sad. I feel badly for you.
As a vegan, I find most of these jokes actually pretty funny 😆 But still have yet to hear a solid argument against veganism
Strength and darwinism
World’s strongest man is vegan. Elephants, gorillas, rhinos, bison - all have plant based diets. “Strong as a horse” - horses also eat plant based. By Darwin, I’m assuming you’re referring to evolution. We’ve evolved to survive on a very small amount of animal based products. Factory farming is not evolutionary. We can still survive on animal products but we, on average, thrive on plant based foods.
@@tldrttyl shouldn't we then just live in a jungle and stop bathing too. Cause housing also affects animals and so does using almost any kind of chemical product. Since, all of it is tested on animals
If you cook it right it will not be solid, it will be tender and juicy.
@@Gaigai275 i think a more practical and nuanced approach is possible. Veganism is about minimizing the unnecessary harm to animals. So yeah, our mere existence kills animals. But why not minimize the unnecessary harm? It’s like saying that we pollute the earth with our mere existence so we might as well not care about the environment at all.
I’m vegan, and laughing 😂! Weak part isn’t true though.
kinda true. there are a few who can replace it many who don't.
The weak part is true for people Who don't get enough information before they transition to vegan
@@HBToastedAlmond exactly before the transition.... show me a not weak vegan that grew up without meat. They all build up their muscles and bone structure with meat and then say Im vegan but look at my muscles.... lol
Check out Connie's Rawsome Kitchen videos on RUclips because she has wonderful recipes!
I used work out I'm a gym where a vegan weight lifter worked out. He was as strong as the musclebound lifters but his muscles were hard but not ripped and swollen.
As a vegan I found these HILARIOUS😂
How do you know there is a vegan in the room ,, They will tell you ,,,
@@lostinspace699 I hope so!!!!!!! I love meeting other kind hearted humans who don't want to vontribute to hurting any more animals 😊✌💚
@@adorable3817 I think people should move out of the cities that wont to go green live in the outer Reagans , or stay and complain ,,,,im not buying it and i don't follow the heard ........
The vegan bakery one at the end was lolllll
@@e.r.6147 my friend's boyfriend LOVES everything she cooks. If she tells him it's Vegan, he won't eat it, or suddenly he decides he doesn't like it..... It's so ridiculous and hilarious!!! 😂😂😂 because all she cooks is Vegan. He has high blood pressure and cholesterol. She's trying to help him lower it. (When she's not around, he eats Schnitzel for breakfast 🙈😅
Most of these are hilarious.
The 4:00 guy doesn't love animals? He must not have a heart!
Hilariously funny!!!!!
@@privatenoneofyourbusiness5292 it’s a JOKE!!! everyone w/ a sound mind loves animals
I’m 6 years vegan and you are the absolute best!!! 🙏❤️🙏
If you’re vegan and not pooping, you’re doing it wrong.
Yeah definitely need to see the Dr!
yeah we be dropping some chungas
Yeah I came to the comments for that…. I thought that was really weird. Lol Yeah most definitely doing something wrong.
If the dairy farmers want us to call almond milk juice to be more accurate then from now on we should call everything what it really is. That includes "puss filled moldy baby food".
16:50 “I shared all this with Texas National Vegan Society…” Bob Smiley is great 🤣🤣🤣
I love vegan people. Jokes about them have been going on for few years now, and so far, I am quite surprised that they haven’t tried to cancel any comedian. They must be proud of their choice of diet 😁.
I am a vegan but don't get offended at all because I know that most people aren't vegan and accept it. Plus I am not a fanatic like the youtube vegan teacher. I don't mind if someone next to me is eating meat as long as I don't eat it it's fine with me.
It's more likely, they're seeing the average population transitioning away from the Monsanto cows, and other factory meats. Follow the money...
(c8
Exactly!
Maybe they don't have the energy to get anyone canceled🤔 😂 🤣
I am a ninth-degree Vegan. I eat nothing that casts a shadow.
So you eat everything after sunset or behind a big tree where shadows can't be told apart from the surroundings?
@@hermask815
Exactly. That explains my corpulence and pallid skin.
So only mushrooms?
@@komorebi3055 Mushrooms cast shadows, too. Everything above ground casts a shadow... Except at high noon and during an eclispe. So he only eats lunch and late night dinners.
First lady. I adore. She is awesome.
It was bait and switch. The first lady was great.....A vegan telling jokes, followed by a bunch of people inaccurately talking about a subject they know nothing about
"How about we just never speak again", that kills me.
agreed that was the best line
“…how about we just never speak again”. Lol 😂
I thought it said “Vegas jokes” and was expecting dirty jokes, I was thinking how dirty can these jokes be?
Josh Sneed is awesome. The whole Long John Silver bit was hilarious 😄
As a vegetarian I’m glad I can find these jokes funny.
Consider going vegan when you can💜
@@studiosandi I eat vegan as much as I can but I live in a small town in the Midwest so it’s extremely difficult.
its always nice to have somebody else to point to, isn't it? ;)
@@danielrickel8807 what is difficult?
This was hilarious, I laughed all the way through it eating my 5 meat lasagna.
Someone asked me if I've ever tried eating vegan.... I said no.. I have no idea how to cook one.
There is a vegan/vegetarian restaurant & bakery in San Antonio that makes the most amazing vegan cupcakes! You can be an omnivore like I am and still LOVE those cupcakes!
Love the comedy and love the backdrops. Well done!
"I never had vegan food before."
Really? You had never eaten carrots or broccoli or tomatoes? Bread--no? No apples or bananas?
Wow.
That guy was an idiot 😂
My go to is always "never hard an Oreo?"
@@PhoenixRising87 You might want to fix "hard" (I assume it should be "had"), but good one nevertheless!
Annnnnd the Vegan missed the joke.............. Big surprise there...
@@dvldog_ babe we all got the joke, it just wasn't a good one.
A collection of some great hits!
as a vegan, there were some really good ones in here 😄
Bob Smiley is great! 😂
Just to make a distinction.
Veganism = belief (just like there's no catholic diet there's no Vegan diet) 😅
'Nut juice' is gross? But breast feeding from a cow is not? 😂 ....I mean, would she put human breast milk into her coffee? That whole concept is just weird 🙈😜😂
Eating meat, means killing animals. When children find pleasure in torturing and killing animals we're concerned and they need counseling. When they're adults, it's a fun Sport 🤔
Vegan DOES NOT mean healthy.
Oreos, Coke, sugar, oil, french fries etc... all vegan. I know several OBESE vegans on high blood pressure medicine.
As for strength, Patrik Baboumian was world's strongest man...plant based / vegan.
The biggest strongest animals, horses (horse power!!!), Elephants, Rhinos etc all plant eaters.
Just some facts 😁✌
I don't care what anyone eats. Not here to convert anyone.
Peace and love 😁💚✌
Patrick became vegan after he stopped competing. We aren’t talking about killing animals for fun we are talking about killing animals as food. Just as people pervert things of this world with everything else, people do it with animals too. Most meat eaters sympathize with animal love, and hate people who “torture” animals. But most meat farms kill the animal long before they process them. I get my meat from a local farmer who raises the cow on his farm outside the pin, let’s it live a life, and kills it humanely long before making food out of it. Support local farms and people with dignity, and the meat eating world is much more attractive vs process plants and gmo stuff.
@@raven09r1 Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience 😊🙏
If I may add. I used to see it exactly the same way. I completely understand where you're coming from. Your heart is in the right place.
This is the way I see it now.
Killing an animal for food, in an emergency, in order to survive is OK. That's one thing. Killing certain animals (not cats or dogs, just pigs, cows chickens wtc) because they taste good is another.
How exactly is an animal killed with dignity?
Out of curiosity (I always have lots of questions 😅)
Why don't humans kill their sick pets at home, with dignity, instead of taking them to the vet, to have them put to sleep?
I mean, if that's the most dignified way to go.
Definition of dignity:
"the state or quality of being worthy of honour or respect."
If an animal, that wants to avoid pain and live, is killed - how is that showing dignity? I mesn, they resist being killed. They don't just stand still for it.
The other thing is.
We don't like "meat" anyway. Warm and bloody, with skin and fur/feathers, feet and face still attached. No way 😜😂 No Restaurants in a slaughterhouse. No kindergarden field trips there.
If it's natural and with dignity, then we should like to see it, right?
Do we cover children's eyes when we pick an Apple, and bit into or cut it up?
Do we ship apples to a factory, where they are sliced and packaged with dignity?
Someone else drains the blood from the animal (that hopefully died, and didn't just pass out - only to wake up again mid-slaughter) cuts off all "animal" evidence, packages it and refrigerates it.
At home we COOK/SEASON it.
....you know, just like a Wolf and a Tiger would.
I understand this is a habit and a tradition, to eat animals. It's normal.
All I'm saying is, just because something is considered by society to be normal and is legal, doesn't make it moral or good.
Peace and love 💜🤗
So it turns out ere are only about two to three jokes about vegans, and every comic tells them.
🤣🤣🤣
Nut juice? Cow juice?
These are some funny comedians!
The last bit reminded me of these packet cookies at a hotel I stayed at. They advertised a laundry list of things they were free of. Tried one. They were as dry as a bone and tasted like sawdust.
🤣😂
Imagine that 😂😂
I had one of those too. Mine tasted like dust at first. The metallic flavor of the saw snuck up on me. I could taste it in my Gizzard. Don't get me started. I know all of that sounds sexy as a stain going down the back and up the front. So, I am glad there were just the two cookies. They looked like Snicker Doodles. Mmmm, that sounds sexy too. I said not to get me started. I need a cup of hot Bergamot tea after that. Ding Dong, back door!
Those are called"Oreos"
Thats what they were, sawdust. Made with free-range saws.
9th generation Texan here, yep, he's right. 😆
Hilarious, chuckle muscle just twitched. Thank you.
The best part of my “vegan plant-based” approaches is being able to shed off my excess fat effectively 👍
I want to become big enough (as in muscle) and sit in the front row, when they ask who is vegan and make the weak joke I raise my hand. When they ask why I'm vegan I say "gorilla is big so my thinking is if I eat same as monkey I become strong like monkey"
Or a rhino or an elephant, or a bull....meat-eating has nothing to do with musculature.
gorillas also eat their own poo. gonna try that? lol
@@travismiller170 yes.
@@travismiller170 Proactive dookie taster, aren't you. That is a sweet form of probiotics. It's free, can't say if it is sweet. But a fresh deuce from an herbivore does smell sweet.
@@brettblute7739 I agree. I noticed that after my first two months of being vegan, I became way less stinky. Then I was able to notice that my nonvegan family members, if I took a whiff of them really close up, smell kinda like a rotting cheeseburger. Makes me wonder how animals, with their heightened sense of smell perceive us....I wouldn't be surprised if animals get grossed out by how humans smell.
Looks can be deceiving just walked out of a vegan bakery lolol
"This chicken tasted like it used to be happy" OMG 🤣🤣🤣
I went to a non vegan wedding, it was awesome. I had my pulled pork and chicken while my two seat mates had beans and salad only. So sad....
That's just lazy catering
Thank you so very very much for your video ❤️.
This might come as a bit of a shock to the wimpy standup guys but Mike Tyson is a vegan. Best of luck taking him on.
Not when he's training for a fight. Only vegan when he doesnt want muscle mass.
@@robtheroadie2240 That's the whole point and why McGregor lost, if you were watching. It's about endurance.
We are all here because we know a Vegan.
My favorite joke... How do you know if someone is a Vegan? Don't worry they will tell you. : D
Just ask me. I AM a vegan. ❤️ I’m 56 and take zero medications. I will tell everyone that too. 😊 being different isn’t easy - living longer is is!
..... usually within five minutes of meeting them!
It's also the oldest.
My wife has a bag that says "Did I tell you I was vegan yet?"
: D@@michaelrch
"anti animal vegan"..............that's awesome!
If I were a cannibal who only ate vegans who only eat organic food could I say that I was on an organic vegan diet?
you better keep eating cows, they only eat grass but taste better
God Bless DRY BAR!!!!!!!!! 🙌🏼 🙌🏼 🙌🏼
Why is cheese so hard to replace?
casomorphins, it is the natural drug that keeps the calf close to the mommy cow
It isn’t if you are on a carnivore diet. Only vegans have an issue with the temptation of cheese because you are missing out on animal fat.
I love the Hitler joke I know Whaaaaaat lol 😂
Just so you know it is only a US myth and Hitler wasnt vegetarian before 1942.... not really much left till he killed himself, maybe the vegetarian diet made him commit suicide.
“If ur more Texan than me, then ur Mexican, Learn from it”. Love it
That was funny!
True because Texas was Mexico before it became a US state 1845.
Yeah, that is a really good joke
We'll all be Vegans in the future because Soylent Green is made from nutritious ocean plant life.
Been vegan 2 years, best decision i ever made
Why, because you feel hungry and bloated all the time?
Thank you, from the animals. ❤️🙂
@@tomlauris I am vegetarian and have never felt hungry nor bloated maybe because I am used to it. Been vegetarian since 1994. I understand that new vegetarians do feel this way.
I'm vegan too. It's so easy.
Me too! I don’t miss the fog at all. If you know, you know 🙂
The thing with vegans and vegetarians...
They have to tell you. 'Im a vegan you know' or 'Im a vegetarian you know'
Even if no food or drink is planned they have to let you know.
the other thing is- theyre wrong.
@@johnwatts8346 it's certainly not normal
@@johnwatts8346wrong about what?
As a vegetarian this was amusing
Mr potato head has a face bahaha
Btw I have a potato in the oven right now
I feel so guilty
I have a vegan couple buying a block of land beside me guna be interesting 😂
Bring them a homemade jar of bacon grease as a housewarming gift. When they say thanks but we're vegan, tell him it's okay it's all natural!!
"She don't eat meat, but loved the bone!"
As a vegan ... this is hysterical!! Also, my doctor said a little bit of honey is ok as a vegan... she said a small amount of local honey will help with allergies and won't upset cholesterol levels.
Everything you have been taught about cholesterol is a lie anyway.
Your doctor doesn't understand what vegan means and evidently you are also confused. Vegans do not eat honey, ever. You are plant-based, and that is great too, but leave the bees food alone.
Veganism is a fundamentalist kind of a religion, trying to convert other people to their doctrine. Humans are not born herbivores we are omnivores. I would not be surprised if they want to change their pets like dogs and cats etc to a vegetarian diet . Veganism is an option in times of abundance but when there is major starvation people will eat anything to survive and Will forget their so called moral and ethical view points.
@@angelajakob1257 are you being intentionally comedic?
@@Veganvipassi No, but she is making fun of your CULT.
Romans 14:2 One [man] has faith to eat everything, but the [man] who is weak eats vegetables. 😊
@@mayatara1980 they also take a lot of suppliments and eat more than 3 normal people....
Not one vegan culture on the planet, only vegetrian, omnivores and even a few carnivore cultures that survived for hundreds of years. But not one vegan culture because under normal circumstances its unhealthy and impossible to have over generations.
As a vegan, I would watch Salad Boss. Just sayin’. 👀
Call it nut squeezin’s
I agree I still haven't pooped when I had vegan food. I thought I was the only one.
It is all fun and game until you debate a vegan. Non vegan run like coward or become a fool (telling plants feel pain etc) in just few seconds.
Oh really? Then answer this simple question.
Why do you use animal products needlessly for entertainment while pretending to be against it?
I predict you won't answer the simple fact based question, instead you will evade, deny, and be dishonest.
@@janieswanson2549 So you assume something to be true out of nowhere. Brilliant.
Vegans are against a animal use and abuse for either food, clothing, research, entertainment, or even education.
We don't eat them, we don't enslave them, we don't caged them in zoo, we are against animal sports, hunting, honey etc. And the thing is you can do it too if you believe you are against animal cruelty.
I saw a truck the other day that had Vegan Leather upholster.
i ws js letting this play while taking care of stuff GENUIS
how about we just never speak again ! hilarious.
Native American definition of a vegetarian = bad hunter.
Pizza without pepperoni (and cheese)? Nooooooooooooooooo! But if I put enough mushrooms, peppers, black olives, artichokes and eggplant on it does that negate the pepperoni?
As an infrequent on again off again vegan.... All of these are 100% true xDDD
You just need to feast like your a Viking with a table full of everything you can imagine. FEAST!!!!! We will all be dead one day
I wonder how many people understood "prisms making light gay"... It`s a great joke!
bob smileys face looks like 3 year old preschool painting of vegan dad....
Lol I'm dying
Tom Brady is a vegan.
Nope
the first lady was hilarious compared to the non vegans making vegan jokes
"vegan" is about to become a slang word
Actually they use steam to calm bees...
I am a second-hand vegetarian. I eat meat from animals that don't eat meat.
There are so many reasons to go vegan💜
And so many, many more reasons NOT to go Vegan......
Vegan dont wanna eat an animal product whatsoever but they eat vegan product that taste like an animal
The comedian who mentioned how vegans don't eat anything with a face well....potatoes have eyes and corn has ears so are those off the menu?????
So true PETA people eating tasty animals.
I'm not a vegan, but these stereotypes are tiresome and boring. "He wanted to beat me up but he couldn't because he was a vegan... And he lacks the essential nutrients..." Not even remotely in line with science and nutrition. Maybe the first time I heard that kind of thing it was funny... But 10 years later the same lame jokes... Sigh
Why should the jokes change vegans are only getting more annoying
Vegetarian - Indian word for bad hunter
I love to order a vegan meal with extra meat, and have them add steak or chicken, Hahahahaha, truth is that so far it's been some of the most flavorful dishes I've eaten, and so far meat goes really well with it, I suggest that you avoid tofu burning tires or plastic bags tastes better.
Adolf Hitler and Karen Rontowski are both average painters 🎨.
im vegan, and love a bit of humour at our expense but those who think vegans cant fight obviosuly never heard of the Diaz Brothers!!
They both use animal products.
Try someone who is actually vegan.
My favorite come back to my vegan friends is simply this: If I have sharp canines that rip through meat and a digestive track that can digest meat then wtf are you talking about? I love they say We don’t need meat, yet 30 grams of protein from veg and grains is Not the same as the 30 grams of protein from eggs and meat. You will have to eat three times the amount of grains and veg to receive the other needed nutrients to survive and thrive.
Ever heard of live and let live. What do you care.
@@JohnSmith-qc6bq - Wow. Before you comment, ask the background of the reasoning for my comment, instead of trolling. They push me constantly to be a vegan, despite me telling them I refuse. Also, as you can read, I said MY VEGAN FRIENDS. Obviously, you are without ones in real life, ergo why you bothered posting on my comment. Mine, are lifelong friends, -> real human beings, troll. Go harass Redditors with that attitude. Piss off jerk. - John Smith. What a fake account.
I always say God gave us canines and incisors for a reason. He expects us to use them.
@@JohnSmith-qc6bq Live and Let Live is in reference to people not food.
Vegetarian. Old Native American word for lousy hunter.
Oh awesome! I loved Karen's set from a couple years ago! Drybar has some of the best comedy on RUclips. Clean comics usually have better jokes anyway. Thanks!
As a hilarious, I find this vegan.
Josh Sneed is the funniest comedian ever!
Vegan is like corn chips and beer
😀😂🤣🙃
Probably would have helped the video if they'd limited the number of 'vegans are weak' jokes. Redundancy is not comedy's friend.
Them: Hitler didn't eat meat. ME: WELL HE SMOKED IT!
Uppps!!! At least Whoopi Golderberg didn’t say that!!!!
Hitler ate meat. His Chef cooked it for him - and talked about it in Interviews.
Being a vegetarian is just a lie his PR Manager spread around.
I could not be a vegan. It is too much work. Vegetarian gets a little easier but still difficult.
What the sense of being top of the food chain and only eat plant life.
They make jokes about animal suffering and torture and there in the comments people can say that I am vegan and I am glad I laughed. No you should not be glad, you should be ashamed.
Pick me vegans, of course
A girl proposed me on a Valentine's Day and she said all sorts of things like how much she loves me and can't stop thinking about me all the time, and she can't wait to spend the rest of her life with me and I was listening and she said the worst thing that humanity had ever came across, yes.. She said that she's a vegan and I said goodbye, end of the story 😂
Why are you letting a girl propose to you?
No it does not! 🤣
Funny collection
Good one ... i dare a vegan come to my home for dinner... mmmm my pig is vegan ... maybe i can feed her or him the same thing... can i???
Don't tell me to be vegan I won't tell you to be carnivorous
Humans are omnivores not carnivors
Duh! Smack myself on the side of my head! Carnivores enjoy life more!
What is crazy is people know we had to get meat somehow.