Hi 👋🏾 I'm so grateful you took the time to comment, and let me just commend you for your honesty. The disillusionment stage can feel so disappointing and frustrating. I encourage you to talk it through with your spouse. My mistake was harboring those feelings to myself, and I began to lash out at my husband. And didn't realize that he had some similar feelings. But like you said, we had faith! We worked through it. In retrospect we are glad that it was just a phase, but the lessons we learned are still being put into action.
@@ForeverNewlywed thank you so much for the reply🥰 my spouse and i always talk about everything but these days we’re just so stressed with the outside world that we just express how irritated we were at home and sometimes lashed out on each other rather than talking it out and being the mental support together😔 after watching this video, i will try letting it all out and let my partner also have the stage to talk about everything, hope it’ll turn out well...
I'm proud of you for making that choice! Sometimes we choose to do nothing in the hopes that it will fix itself, but you are being proactive! All we can do for the outside world is pray and bring our kindness and love to it. But charity starts at home 😊🏡
Never Give up, I am in a committed relationship, and we are in the power struggle stage. We are not married but since we are not focusing in sex, We want to go without sex before marriage and instead we want to focus in our lifes and union.
A little behind but catching up. Thank you for the 5 stages & the excellent insight included in each stage! They will help me to avoid disillusionment when my time comes.😀
Aww man, that is the goal. My hope is that with this introduction to the stages, women don't feel blindsided by the friction that is experienced. I'm excited to hear more about your journey!
Great day! I would definitely say that the breakthrough conversation happened at our breaking point. Which is what I would advise anyone to AVOID. We waited too long to have this hard conversation because I think we just wanted the issue to go away with time. We were both struggling to have a voice that we felt was heard and understood and validated. Luis would shut down because he didn't want to say something terrible in the heat of his anger. But I interpreted that as ignoring me, and ignoring how I felt, and it didn't allow me the opportunity to express myself. We were arguing a lot around the topic of intimacy. It covered a wide range of things; from frequency to childhood trauma, our perspectives on intimacy and sex and facing those skewed perspectives, and what brings us pleasure and what doesn't. Even though these were hard conversations, we both came to the table with commitment and truth. Without those two things, you can't have a breakthrough conversation. Truth is important because it is the only way to get to the core of the issue. Some truth may hurt, even if that wasn't the person's intent. The commitment is important because, where some truth may be hard to face, it pushes you to find solutions to the issues at hand. Throughout the conversation, we reaffirmed and reminded each other of our willingness to work through this and our love for one another; that we are on the same team. This was part of our power struggle stage because both of us felt our individual expectation around intimacy was more important than the others. I hope that gives some understanding. I plan on breaking down each stage in separate videos. Thank you for asking such an excellent question.
Hey, great question! I'd say it took us about 6 months to really tackle that specifically. I did not even recognize that we were struggling to each have a voice until it felt like it was too late. I think people avoid that breakthrough conversation because they keep expecting the problem to fix itself. But once you recognize it, address it head-on, and tell the truth IN LOVE.
Hey there! Honestly, it's different for everyone. Maybe someone has known their spouse for many years before getting married, so your first stage (romance stage) isn't as long. My husband and I were in the power struggle stage (stage 3) for about 6 months. Some people are there for longer. So, it really depends on you and your spouse.
That's very relatable! And normal! Sometimes, I feel like we dip back into stages that we've already gone through. Do you feel like you're stuck in stage 3, or do you feel like you'll both naturally phase out of it?
This is the first time that I will comment in youtube. I really appreciate this video and it all made sense. You are cery helpful. Can I follow you then to you IG?
Hi! I am honored to have you comment. Thank you for taking the time to watch. I am learning so much as I go and the info about some things to expect throughout the stages is very liberating! My IG is kenya.rachelle. And the IG for the youtube is forevernewlywed. ✌🏾
LOL I had a feeling you were joking!! But I've received "Debbie Downer" comments in the past so I wanted to be honest but also keep my response light. You really did give me a great video idea though! And CONGRATULATIONS and blessings to you and your spouse 🎉🤸🏾♀️🙏🏾 Any tips?? Lol besides keeping humor in the marriage 🤣
@@ForeverNewlywed Yes . Young people need to really understand the difference between "commitment" and "devotion". They seen similar BUT , commitment is easier to change your mind about . Devotion is far more deep-rooted , and rare .
i really needed this😔 i’m in the disillusionment stage at the moment... i do have faith in my relationship that we can grow for the better...
Hi 👋🏾 I'm so grateful you took the time to comment, and let me just commend you for your honesty.
The disillusionment stage can feel so disappointing and frustrating. I encourage you to talk it through with your spouse. My mistake was harboring those feelings to myself, and I began to lash out at my husband. And didn't realize that he had some similar feelings. But like you said, we had faith! We worked through it. In retrospect we are glad that it was just a phase, but the lessons we learned are still being put into action.
@@ForeverNewlywed thank you so much for the reply🥰
my spouse and i always talk about everything but these days we’re just so stressed with the outside world that we just express how irritated we were at home and sometimes lashed out on each other rather than talking it out and being the mental support together😔
after watching this video, i will try letting it all out and let my partner also have the stage to talk about everything, hope it’ll turn out well...
I'm proud of you for making that choice! Sometimes we choose to do nothing in the hopes that it will fix itself, but you are being proactive! All we can do for the outside world is pray and bring our kindness and love to it. But charity starts at home 😊🏡
Never Give up, I am in a committed relationship, and we are in the power struggle stage. We are not married but since we are not focusing in sex, We want to go without sex before marriage and instead we want to focus in our lifes and union.
Great - every stage - been there - and back around again & AGAIN! 👏🏾👏🏾
Yes!! I wanted to emphasize that the stages are organic and often times we flow in and out of them.
A little behind but catching up. Thank you for the 5 stages & the excellent insight included in each stage! They will help me to avoid disillusionment when my time comes.😀
Aww man, that is the goal. My hope is that with this introduction to the stages, women don't feel blindsided by the friction that is experienced. I'm excited to hear more about your journey!
What was that breakthrough conversation you and Luis had in that got you guys out of Stage 3 "the power struggle? can you please share?
Great day!
I would definitely say that the breakthrough conversation happened at our breaking point. Which is what I would advise anyone to AVOID. We waited too long to have this hard conversation because I think we just wanted the issue to go away with time. We were both struggling to have a voice that we felt was heard and understood and validated. Luis would shut down because he didn't want to say something terrible in the heat of his anger. But I interpreted that as ignoring me, and ignoring how I felt, and it didn't allow me the opportunity to express myself.
We were arguing a lot around the topic of intimacy. It covered a wide range of things; from frequency to childhood trauma, our perspectives on intimacy and sex and facing those skewed perspectives, and what brings us pleasure and what doesn't. Even though these were hard conversations, we both came to the table with commitment and truth. Without those two things, you can't have a breakthrough conversation. Truth is important because it is the only way to get to the core of the issue. Some truth may hurt, even if that wasn't the person's intent. The commitment is important because, where some truth may be hard to face, it pushes you to find solutions to the issues at hand. Throughout the conversation, we reaffirmed and reminded each other of our willingness to work through this and our love for one another; that we are on the same team.
This was part of our power struggle stage because both of us felt our individual expectation around intimacy was more important than the others.
I hope that gives some understanding. I plan on breaking down each stage in separate videos. Thank you for asking such an excellent question.
Stage 3 ahhhhh! Been on this stage for 3 years now. It would be a miracle if we breakthrough this.
I hear ya!!!
Even the stages have stages!
Do you feel discouraged about how long that stage seems to be lasting?
How long did it took you to get to that breakthrough conversation, From Romance stage to the end of the powerstruggle?
Hey, great question!
I'd say it took us about 6 months to really tackle that specifically. I did not even recognize that we were struggling to each have a voice until it felt like it was too late. I think people avoid that breakthrough conversation because they keep expecting the problem to fix itself. But once you recognize it, address it head-on, and tell the truth IN LOVE.
@@ForeverNewlywed Awww Perfect Answer i really appriciate your experience becuase this my serve us in the future.
@@ForeverNewlywed from the day you married to that conversation it took you 6 month or 6 month after the romance stage ended?
how many years for each stage?
Hey there!
Honestly, it's different for everyone. Maybe someone has known their spouse for many years before getting married, so your first stage (romance stage) isn't as long. My husband and I were in the power struggle stage (stage 3) for about 6 months. Some people are there for longer. So, it really depends on you and your spouse.
@@ForeverNewlywed 6 Months is no long.
Awesome advice thank u
I'm so glad you found it helpful! Thank you for watching
I've been in stage 3 for 3+years
That's very relatable! And normal! Sometimes, I feel like we dip back into stages that we've already gone through. Do you feel like you're stuck in stage 3, or do you feel like you'll both naturally phase out of it?
This is the first time that I will comment in youtube. I really appreciate this video and it all made sense. You are cery helpful. Can I follow you then to you IG?
Hi! I am honored to have you comment. Thank you for taking the time to watch. I am learning so much as I go and the info about some things to expect throughout the stages is very liberating! My IG is kenya.rachelle. And the IG for the youtube is forevernewlywed. ✌🏾
Preach
🙌🏾🙌🏾
Wrong ! There only three stages of marriage .1) The engagement ring 2) the wedding ring 3) the suffering !
😏 I wholeheartedly disagree! Lol. BUT that gives me a great video idea. Thanks 💡
@@ForeverNewlywed I been happily married 41 years . It is always good to have a sense of humor . More important than most people think , long term .
LOL I had a feeling you were joking!! But I've received "Debbie Downer" comments in the past so I wanted to be honest but also keep my response light. You really did give me a great video idea though! And CONGRATULATIONS and blessings to you and your spouse 🎉🤸🏾♀️🙏🏾 Any tips?? Lol besides keeping humor in the marriage 🤣
@@ForeverNewlywed Yes . Young people need to really understand the difference between "commitment" and "devotion". They seen similar BUT , commitment is easier to change your mind about . Devotion is far more deep-rooted , and rare .
That's so powerful! Thank you for sharing your wisdom 🙇🏾♀️
Hello!!!
Hey hey!! Thanks for subscribing and Keep up the great work on your page 🤗
Thanks and you to
You sound like cardi b hehe
Ha! Really?? She's a character!