quick note on “AAVE”: I’m in a linguistics class on this right now, and Black scholars have expressed that AAL (African American Language), AAE (African American English), or BL (Black Language) are better terms than AAVE because they shift the focus slightly away from this comparison with “White speech” and they also avoid trivializing the validity of AAL as a dialect of its own by calling it “vernacular.” the more u know! 🌈⭐️
karlkarly Karlsen it’s a full-fledged dialect with its own grammatical rules, verbal traditions, pronunciations, and vocabularies. slang doesn’t cover it, it is a language
karlkarly Karlsen dialects are generally mutually understandable within the bounds of a larger language-so, french, spanish, and italian probably started off as dialects of latin but diverged so much that they became separate languages. slang is much more short-lived and changeable than dialects, and it is usually just related to vocabulary. it is very rare that grammatical rules are invented, since they are difficult to unilaterally change. so when a way of speaking is used and understood by a group of people, and that speech has systematic rules, it can pretty much be considered a dialect. consider different dialects of british english for examples! I also recommend looking into the development/origin arguments about AAL from being a pidgin, if you’re interested!! it’s a super interesting and under-examined field :-)
i can't stress how important this statement is, because i can't count how many times i myself or other women have attempted to share their traumatic experiences of being stuck somewhere in the 'grey zone' of consent but get immediately shut down by people because what they endured wasn't a 'clear-cut' case of rape that needs to be taken to court and result in the guy's imprisonment. the Aziz Ansari case is the #1 conversation that springs to mind. like, something shouldn't have to be a heinous crime for us to be able to talk about the horrible effects it has on us, especially when experiences like these are common to SO many women: where you never said no but you never said yes either, often because you're afraid to speak up, often because you LIKE the guy you're with and don't want to offend him/hurt his feelings, because some guys will actually treat a 'no' as a personal slight against him and use it to make you feel guilty. yet when that girl spoke up about her experience, other women yelled her down and said 'you just had a bad date!' which is tragic if you think about it, cos that shows that they RELATE to her experience yet think that those kinds of traumatic experiences are just part of the deal of being a woman and they aren't entitled to anything more. i think just about every woman i know has been made to feel uncomfortable or degraded at least once by a guy in a sexual context. we need to be able to talk about these incredibly common experiences, not because we're looking for a fucking prison sentence, but because we want people to become more aware about what consent means, and to realise the traumatic effects of going ahead with certain acts without checking that your partner is 100% comfortable. securing an affirmative, enthusiastic 'yes' needs to be more normalised. sexual trauma should not be such a common collective experience for women.
Informative perspective. But maybe dont use the word rape then. When describing what happened in a gray area of consent. Sexaul trauma sounds accurate. Degrading and all that. But when u accuse someone of rape it calls for a prison sentence and if that happens and the exact definition of rape didn't occur the other party should be held accountable. We should work towards a mutual understanding of both sides without the aggression and politics thats been so prevalent in the past 2 decades
@@uuncoolguy6 I don’t think I did use the word rape - I used the words “sexual trauma”, like you said, which I think is more accurate for that “grey area” of consent. That being said, I think we need to become more empathetic with how we discuss assault in general. Most women who share their stories aren’t even necessarily looking to file a police report - they just want to be heard, and validated. I think there’s an inherent problem with the way we think about criminal justice, how any time we bring up the violence one person faced, we immediately go to the other person to think about what punitive measures are warranted, and so if the victim can’t present a full array of evidence for a formal criminal case, their right to simply tell their story is utterly dismissed. It’s a symptom of living in a system of retributive justice rather than restorative justice.
i meant when coming forward with accusations if they dont meet the definition of rape then one should avoid that term. because telling a story can be destructive. if youre just looking for validation why does that need to come from other people ? on the internet? is the goal to expose soemone? make someone feel ostrichized? or just to be heard and gather a mob of sympathizers? once you are heard you have to control what happens after because that is someones life and the consequences from your story will fall on them. and just to be clear we arent talking about a rape. we are talking about coming frward when theres consensual contact first that moves into the uncomfortable and possibly degradation. my point being just because one is not seeking punishment does not mean you have not given the go for social consequences that could lead into legal due to a mob.
Consent doesn’t always have to be vocalized. It’s hard to ignore someone’s body language when they are not into it versus when they are. There are also many different ways to say no and yes.
These Pick Me girls deadass assume that if they behave properly, men will treat them with respect, and any woman who doesn't behave "properly" deserves to be treated like garbage. Newsflash babes, lots of men will still treat you like shit regardless of how long your skirt is. It has nothing to do with whether I'm out here in a tight bikini. Whether or not these girls are Christian, this shit is highkey religious and Puritanical as hell.
@@ButterflyScarlet Honestly as a Christian we call it "Purity Culture" and it is the worse thing ever. Women don't get sexually assaulted or treated worse because they wear tight bikinis. Teach those men not to assault, not those women to hide themselves away. They did nothing wrong! Ugh I remember in my old christian private school a male teacher brought all us girls together to basically say we were tempting others by hiking up our skirt and that he saw some girl's undies on the stair and "didn't want to have to succumb to that thought and have to deal with it" EWWWWWWWWW I was 13.
Subscribed. Heard my daughter talking like a pick me the other day. She's 17. Took her out to lunch with some of my friends. Some of whom were stylish and feminine and badass bosses in their fields. She came out thoughtful and commented how they kind of blew her mind. We spoke about the things she said and I told her to focus more on herself and be aware that it's a good thing we have diversity among women. It's okay not to be into girly things and to be into girly things. But it's not okay to hate on our own.
Wow, thank you for passing on that healthy message and for doing so in a kind manner and allowing her to experience and make her own observations on the strength in diversity among women. Kudos to you!
Okay I hope when I have kids, none of them will have that problem. All of my female friends I have now either live a very heteronormative lifestyle or are not the kind of person you want to introduce to your kids lol. (both are obviously perfectly okay lifestyles, just not very helpful in similar kind of situation lmao)
I was this “pick me” perfect wifey kind of girl. got in an abusive relationship. pushed away all my girlfriends for him. I’m so lucky my friends took me back once I realized what a huge mistake I had made. I’m thankful for them every day. Please support and forgive your friends when they finally wake up and please know that these “pick me girls” just have really low self worth.
I’m glad you are in a better place now. And you deserve to have such a wonderful group of friends. I agree. We’ve all been pick me’s to an extent and shaming women for being pick me’s is just as judgmental as being a pick me. We should try to help eachother improve whenever possible. Not religious but it reminds me of the Bible verse “let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” Idk I never thought much of it but it suddenly clicked while looking at this type of content and now I’m sobbing 😭
And just to clarify, I do love this video and think this behavior needs to be called out. If you love someone you will tell them that they are making a big mistake. It was the voices of other empowered women online that showed me how dumb I was being gave me the strength to leave the narcissist I was with. 🤗
Being in an abusive relationship makes you think in ways you never thought you would. Been there before too and one good thing I got out it was learning my self worth and promising myself I’ll never let that happen again!!
im happy youre doing better now and it’s okay, we’re all humans just trying to figure out life and sometimes we go on a path we regret. and you learned from it, so be proud of yourself! 🥰
As a black girl I can’t tell you how much it warmed my heart to see you actually go do the work and learn how aave is routinely snatched by mainstream internet culture. I’m rooting for you Tara!!
"real victims stay away from their predators." "real victims go to the police" ayo, i was 5 when i was abused, and it was by a family member. something just don't add up, chief..? 🤨
its clear that people who say this stuff didnt even bother to search up anything aboout räpê victims and their expiriences or ask those victims about it... i dont think they would say this if they knew what they were talking about but again people who have shit opinions and are not informed about anything do be having the loudest voice and lowket express their opinions with pride.
@@Kristina-kh1ms Sadly not just victims of sexual violence who have to deal with this... Where I live the police say that injuries (even to the point of hospitalization) are not evidence of a crime. It's hell.
"Real victims go to the police" That statement makes me sick to the stomach. I have been sexuality assaulted by a teacher and when I finally spoke out, he accused me of being schizophrenic. Guess what, everyone believed him. So yeah, I guess I would be in a better place if I had kept my mouth shut, now I'm known as the "crazy delusional daughter".
I am so sorry, that's horrible! I have an ex who had the "real victims go to the police" attitude so I'm glad I read the comments before watching the video to mentally prepare
I just don't know what "wifey" girls have against the rest of us who are single. We're not single cause we can't get boyfriends. Some of us actually enjoy being single.
@@somiproductions They can, though. Not all of them - maybe not even most of them - but this can be a contributing factor in people not choosing to have a relationship. Less about the "drama", if you've got lucky... but time? You need to dedicate time to a relationship, as I'm sure you know. For a variety of reasons, some people may not have enough time to dedicate as needed. That was their perspective - you have yours. Don't be judgemental now
I was inappropriately touched when I was 8 years old at school. I didn’t know it was happening back then and now I am severely traumatised as it was a close friend of my brother and I was not taken seriously back then and I am not now.
Anyways moral of the story society sucks and with almost always victim blame. (I was told that i had to expect it as I was wearing shorts that day for p.e.)
Yes, as an under-10 yro, who went to other adults and was brushed off for uncomfortable touching/things, I wish I got in my tiny, battery operated car and rove down to the freaking station. Oh.my.god.
I’m still gonna report. Staying silent is much worse because more victims can be made and justice cannot be served . It’s better to report at least you put up a fight. People will blame you more for staying silent zz it’s like creating more potential victims. This rape topic should not be related to PICK me up and nice girls culture. Rape is a serious crime and topic and should be tackled in a lawful discussion. These pick me up girls are creating more harm than good
@@njrom2975 I get your point. but, it isn't always that easy. what if your rapist is a public figure?an important person? or worse, a cop. And it isn't always that easy to report either, especially if it's been days or years. They don't trust you. It's like you said, people will blame a victim for staying silent. a lot of factors come into play in these situations. it took me nearly 9 yrs to come to terms with the fact that I was molested, even now the memory is hazy. But, how can I complain now? who will believe me when I'm still sell questioning that event?. It's a bit more sensitive than that, so yeah.
"I'm shy, but I say no." Good for you. I, too, said no, but my ex still forced me to have sex with him. Whether he forced me down or kept guilting me until I gave in to make him leave me alone. And guess what? That's rape. The internalized misogyny is honestly exhausting. My god.
@@estellesmith4118 Yeah me probably neither but the fact that she is saying that openly in the internet for everyone for no reason makes it sus a little little
I still can't get over the lady going off because her man sexually harassed the other woman. Like how DARE she get offended that a guy is giving her unwanted attention and making remarks about her body?!!
@Twinkle Toes I stand corrected. Im not sure if he touched her or just complimented it apparently 🤷🏻♀️ I thought he touched her. It's still crazy that his gf is going off on the woman who doesn't want his stupid attention though. I've heard people in my family say "well if you didn't want the attention why are you wearing a skirt" to similar cases of sexual harassment and that mentality just sends me 🤦🏻♀️
I've spent literal years hating everything about my body. I've always covered up- wearing sweaters over t shirts to hide my arms, wearing jeans in the summertime. Now that I wear tighter clothes and cropped things, it's so hurtful when I see women telling me that I'm a slut or a whore for it. So many girls dress for themselves and literally every single woman is insecure, so why can't we celebrate each other for being confident?
I was like that when I was younger... As u get older u will not care as much as what everyone thinks. I'm a size 18/20 n wear body revealing clothes. . Dont give a shit what everyone thinks. . . But it took me a lot of years to get to this stage. I'm 43 now. Wear what u want!!!
It honestly makes me so disappointing when other people put down others for being confident, I’m so proud of you though for finding stuff that you like! I’m still kind of in a phase where I like to wear more baggy clothing just cause it’s comfortable but I think crop tops are adorableee
@@batsbatsghost8757 - keep it up! .. it gets easier as you get older believe me. I wasted too much time caring about others opinions as a young woman. Don't give a f now. :) Take it or leave it :)
@Luka I aww thank you. Makes a change to getting troll hate of incels on youtube, not that their BS bothers me, but it nice when someone say something nice.
Honestly I used to be a pick me girl between the ages of like 14-16. I watched too many movies about girls who "aren't like other girls" and movies where women compete for a man. I'm not very conventionally attractive, and I noticed my friends around me were starting to get attention from boys, and I wasn't. The boys I liked were more interested in my friends. So I felt the need to have something "different" and "quirky" about me, in order to make boys like me. And the sad part is, it worked. And when guys would tell me "oh, more girls should be like you" it just validated it further. Of course, I wasn't being my true self, so I got the attention I wanted, but I wasn't happy. Luckily I grew out of it, and now I cringe looking back. Now when I see grown women acting like a Pick Me it makes me cringe so hard 😬
@@alyssapinon9670 exactly, most of us used to crave for a certain boys attention, but to have a grown ass woman still stuck with that behaviour????? embarassing and sad. im 18 and i still have some childhood friends (same age as me or older) who always slut shame other people and are obsessed with the idea to appeal to men and its not that im angry at them for being like that its just that im sad for them, it must be hard to live in that state of denial and narrow mind-ness.
I think it’s totally normal. I used to be that way at that age too - I think teens are just trying to figure themselves out. It sucks that part of that often involves trying to be “different” in order to be “better”, but I think it’s a normal phase. Now as an adult I love video games and fantasy and weird biology stuff cause I got introduced to them when I was a pick me. So I don’t begrudge it fully cause I don’t think I would’ve found those interests if I hadn’t had that phase - but I’m VERY glad I grew out of it. It’s so…caging. I denied I loved makeup and cats and hated the particular brand of male humor I was around at the time cause I wanted to fit in with the boys. Now I can embrace all sides of me without putting other women down, and it’s so much nicer. (Also to be clear, by “particular male humor” I mean misogynistic and racist humor, which obviously isn’t restricted to men, it was just freely employed by the guys I was around at the time)
Anyone else remember being in year 7 and thinking that if you do the opposite of every female stereotype boys will think that you're special 😂. Glad I got over that phase quickly 😆.
Me. I got my first bitch slap of reality when my former friend (who was a total NLOG) turned my other friends against me because I liked fashion, makeup, talking about boys, and other girly things. So much for not judging people by their clothes and interests. And at that point I hadn’t even reached my full girly potential. Just dabbling in it. That’s when I realized that no matter how hard I tried someone was going to judge me. So I began to fully embrace my status as a Barbie. Truthfully most guys worth my time treated me the same way they did before I embraced my girliness.
@@alyssapinon9670 what bothers me too is that there are a lot of Pick me type girls that claim there feminists but then they constantly put other girls and woman down. I kinda wish I stayed how you stayed. I was a very girly as a little girl and then once puberty hit, I always felt criticized for it. so since then I’ve always hid my femininity. Even though I secretly felt ashamed for hiding who I was, One thing I will never do will put down girls for being too masculine or too feminine. Woman and girls are special either way. Even if somebody is considered “basic” there still special.
@@sydneycloud5930 yeah it is embarrassing to see grown adults acting like teenagers who haven’t outgrown their school girl NLOG phase. And don’t feel too bad. Even back then embracing my femininity was a process. I was still a more watered down version of a Barbie when I went to school so people would take me seriously. And I always felt like shit because guys I liked weren’t into that kind of high maintenance girl even though they liked me as a friend. I think now that I’m in college that I’ve truly just said “fuck it I do what I want”
YIP. the only comfort i can take in NLOGs/pick-mes is that I think almost every girl went through a phase of thinking they were unique for resenting the pressure to perform femininity as young girls, and lots of those end up going down an anti-feminist path at some point (i definitely did, how embarrassing), but they eventually grow out of it once they realise they'll be so much happier if they lift up and support other women rather than tearing them down, and they'll also feel more empowered and secure in their own sense of selves if they aren't defined by comparisons to others.
i sometimes feel bad for the “pick me” and “wifey” girls, because they genuinely seem like they need a man to be happy. but then they open their mouth & ruins all sympathy i have for them
Yeah...rather then being angry I kinda feel bad/sad for them. Cuz like you said: They seem to think they will only be happy if they have a BF/Hubby and follow every Standard Society has set for them! :/
I feel this 100%. Like you hear the internalized misogyny and self-hatred and insecurity in every word and so I feel pity but when they turn on other women and choose to be cruel... it’s harder to find compassion for them
"The only valid victims are the ones with police reports" is such a blind and deaf statement, im my country for example, going to the police can make thing much worse for the victim. But like your said, we all have been there in that misogynistic state and hopefully she will open her eyes one day
@astrid ledesma I’m sorry that happened to you! I hope he got what he deserved. The people closest to me also told that they wouldn’t believe me because they didn’t have “his perspective.” I was afraid to go to the police and everyone around me thought I was lying. They would threaten me and say that if it were true I wouldn’t be afraid to report.
I've always, always wondered why pick mes and nice guys don't just pair up and get together. But I've learned that two toxic kinds of people aren't a happy and healthy relationship make. Pick me women will still be afraid of violent "nice guys" even if they ARE putting down other women. You don't fix toxic archetypes of people by introducing them to what you think is their other half. It either makes them worse, or could endanger a pick-me girls life. And despite how NLOGS and pick me women act, they do not deserve to be subjected to violence and misogyny a "nice guy" will place when cornering you over unwanted romantic/sexual advances.
The point about rape reminds me of a case of gang rape that happened in spain, became pretty famous. A group of boys raped a girl, there was even video evidence of it,and in the trial ( there were three judges) one of the judges didn't claim them guilty because the girl had not said "no" and had done what they told her with no complaints. This girl was 18 and was cornered by 5 older and bigger men into a place with only one exit that they where blocking. She explained that she was so terrified that her instict told her to do whatever they said to survive, everyone else agreed there was clear intimidation and the sex had not been consensual, except that judge. They walked free. But luckily months later the police got them for other crimes and this time their asses landed in jail.
@@ikindoflikemangoes4951 hopefully he will at least retire soon. He was old. We have thank though, the police and state prosecutor who kept investigating after that and managed to find other things to catch those criminals and put them in prision for anyways. Shows that there is at least some good people in the law system.
The way you phrase that, like it has happened before, like guy just walks up to up and they're like "Hey... We're married now, Kay bye" and just hands you a copy of the marriage license and walks off.
The girl that talked about rape remind me of some few cases in my country where a lot of young women were sexually assaulted and they did made a police report but those predators still get a lot of pick me girls support them especially when they got the look and power. They always blame the victims for being too sexy and flirty. Its sickening.
It's also really sad when people involve religion into it so the girls are too scared to search for justice because they will condemned for not being religious and socializing with men. "why were you not wearing your hijab? You were asking for it" is such a common thing for people to use as a rebuttal that a lot of girls just keep quiet because they know speaking out will play against them
I believe I was drugged and “date raped” by a guy I knew in college. I was not sexually attracted to him but considered him a friend. I have vague memory of the event. College campuses are particularly vulnerable places where these things happen all the time. I was taken advantage of and didn’t realize it until many years later. I had no opportunity to say “no” because I was under the influence of something. I was 20 (now I’m 30) when this happened and it took years of therapy and self realization to understand what happened to me. Saying that only true victims have police reports is ridiculous. Shame on that woman.
Something similar happened to me and it honestly only got to the police because I was lucky enough to have another person realize what had happened and call the police for me, otherwise I think I would have been too numb and broken to even think of doing it myself.
I live in the states aka stupid land. We here in stupid land sadly have a saying that kind of reminded me of this bull crap mind set. "If you don't like it here, why don't you move to russia or something?" Mostly right wingers say this but even some on the left act this way sad to say... As if it's THAT easy to just pick up and go live a totally different life on the drop of a dime. Not like I got a job, school, homestead, material possessions, friends, and family to be tied up in lololol. Perhaps someone who's a millionaire could have the cash to pull it off with little to no risk but uhhh... NEWSFLASH! Most people are not rich lol. Leaving a crappy relationship can often be super hard. Like your situation for example. And these same types of morons think that you could leave your partner AND your entire way of life. Like it's the easiest thing in the world lololol. Holy crap we share a planet full of chodes who don't think things out... Anyways good for you that you got out of that shit relationship. Sorry it happened but that's life right? I'm sure we can all agree that we have run into people that we thought were kool at first but then... Then you learn that they suck and by that point you have already invested some stuff into them lol. Not a fun situation. Anyways I hope you find someone who gels with ya better!
@@chickpea I'm not emotionally attached to his video lmao I just wanna give her money for the video that made me find her channel again before it's gone, although idk if it's monetized
Cooking, cleaning and washing clothes are basic life skills everyone must learn. And 9:47 makes my blood boil. Men are not children. Stop infantilizing adults
@@Caroline-sl2kt Most definitely. If a woman wants to be a SAHM and housewife, she has the right to do so, and she shouldn’t be shamed for that. Conversely, if a woman chooses to focus on her career, not have children, or decides to put motherhood on the back burner for a while, it’s her choice to do so, and she should not be shamed for it. I wish we could be open minded and tolerant towards other peoples beliefs, even when they differ from our own.
@@Cyborg_Lenin Did you read that post? The woman said that a husband should be your first child. I have a feeling that it’s satire, but there are some women who think this way. There’s a difference between caring for your partner and treating them like your son.
"real victims go to the police." what a disgusting, ignorant thing to say. she says she's done research and is well-informed on her mens rights positions, but apparently doesn't seem to know the first thing about the politics of reporting rape, which I thought was just common knowledge at this point, after so many years of awareness campaigns about why women don't report.
Even then, admittedly this was a while ago, but I had a friend who was in a sexual relationship with her boss at a fast food chain. She chose to refer to it as statutory rape because she was 15 but felt like she had been a willing participant - I don’t necessarily agree on how willing she was but I don’t want to misrepresent her. Later when she found out he was retraining to be a teacher, she took her story, the messages they’d exchanged and video footage of him engaging in sexual contact with her to the police and the man was never prosecuted. She felt like they didn’t care and weren’t taking her seriously despite her having evidence of a relationship taking place with sexual contact. If someone hears that story and they get raped, what’s the point of coming forward? What will change? Unless they’ve been a prolific rapist with many victims who have collected evidence of the crimes committed it’s unlikely that they will be given a lengthy sentence. Prisons also aren’t known for rehabilitation so that’s unlikely too
@@kiraveritas3060 exactly, victims are presented with one very narrow vision of what “justice” means, so even if the police do manage to take it seriously, they’re still only working toward one outcome: punishment of the offender. The problem with retributive justice is it totally focuses around the offender, and the actual needs of the victim get totally pushed aside. Our standard criminal justice procedures are not well suited to women dealing with sexual trauma.
There is this awesome movie about that topic that's probably still relevant "The Accused" (1988) with Jodie Foster When I was 14 or 15 I think my mother watched that movie with me and explained the whole topic to me
The sad, harsh reality is that if you dont go to the police, the crime has a zero percent chance of being solved. I get why people wouldnt, but it's just the way it is.
“Real victims go to the police” Kids: 👁👄👁 Ppl who already did but the police did nothing: 👁👄👁 Ppl who were killed by their r@p1st: 👁👄👁 Ppl who were forced not to go out and report them: 👁👄👁
@2ndBookofLaughter “MarkIsaacM” she's not providing solutions though she's just spreading toxic ideas that aren't representative of all victims and their needs
@2ndBookofLaughter “MarkIsaacM” as stated in the video, often making a police report doesn't really lead to much because unless you got a rape kit directly after the assault it's hard to get your rapist convicted, and so often victims have to relive their trauma only to watch their rapist walk away uncharged at the end
@2ndBookofLaughter Saying someone isn't a "real" victim until they go to the police isn't advice. It's just toxic rhetoric meant to put down girls who share their stories of SA. Ironically by her criteria, men are usually not "real" victims because they rarely go to the police about SA
Saying “no” wasn’t an option. I felt that, I was in a situation where a security guard was sexually harassing me. He was armed and he look like he can snap any minute. After kindly refusing multiple times, I told him “I like you but I’m super tired rn it’s 2 in the morning, can we do this tomorrow?” We switched number and he let me go. The next morning I report him to the authorities. I wonder what would happen to me if I say “no” on that day
Pick up artists would never marry. On second thought maybe they would if the wife will let them keep sleeping with other people and do everything for them like mommy. So a pick me girl. Maybe this is a good idea.
She came sent her entire "army" after a friend of someone I was close with because she outed her abuser on one of those Instagram pages and Roma decided she was falsely accusing him.... She's truly unbelievable in all the wrong ways.
I’ve watched videos from men who are red pilled black pilled or basically a part of the MGTOW community and they call her a Chamaeleon because basically she will say what sounds appealing to men and seem like she is maybe somewhat anti-feminist or anti-pick me girl but she’s actually being a pick me girl herself she’s basically just a Chamaeleon because she’ll pretend to be on the side of MGTOW or men just for the approval of men or views/subscribers
@Dylan White yes it’s disgusting and distracting there’s nothing worse than an ugly tattoo that’s huge and on the neck on anyone male or female, but she said it herself it’s for repelling or intimidating men because she’s an abuse victim
I escaped a nearly decade long abusive marriage a couple years ago. The police and the justice system in general literally never helped me and treated me like a liar who was wasting their time.
@tiffanyjohnson135 Haha Depending on the reason, *yes.* My [now husband] lost his job with no warning and we live in a high cost of living state, so if it weren’t for the fact that he lived “below his means” and could save a decent amount, (and, depending on how your landlord feels about you being out of a job, that wouldn’t be enough) the ends might not have met. He was fired and marked “not eligible for rehire” by the place he’d been with over a year - and it was for warning a new coworker that the boss was a predator (HR knew and did nothing) and the shift manager who was sucking up to the boss told about it. His job search was prolonged because he was unaware at first about the Do-Not-Hire thing, and it was the only work experience he’d had since college and getting certified. It took him months to get another job. We usually took turns or split before, but I started paying for all the dates and just checking he didn’t need help financially. He did the same for me when I was between jobs. Now, we’re married and work different shifts and he gets home before me, so if he doesn’t want leftovers we cooked together, he usually cooks us dinner. Not everything is black & white or blue & pink. Especially when people’s hearts are in the game. This is life.
That's the thing, Pick Me's want to feel superior even though they're subservient, brainwashed zombies. Pick Me's don't actually care about raising other women up.......they thrive of negativity and making other women feel bad. Other women are nothing to them.
Unfortunately a lot of us are taught from other people and the media are taught that our value comes from being desired by men. And because other women are seen as competition it’s the outcome :(
A female ceo kinda got to the root of this once. She was talking about how theres basically an understanding in any Company that there's room for A woman at the top so instead of it being me against every other person, its me vs every other woman. Instead of anger at the system its turned on our sisters and I think we do that with dating too
“real victims go to the police” i was a toddler and didn’t know how to use a phone :) also it happened my whole life i didn’t realize how wrong it was because i was groomed now i’m in a cycle of getting in ab*sive relationships and letting them take advantage of me because i don’t know how to defend myself :)
dude, i'm so, so sorry. been there, and i'm still fighting the after effects. please, remember that you're beautiful, it isn't your fault (you were literally a baby), and that you're not alone. sending lots of hugs your way! ╰(◡‿◡✿╰)
I used to be a pick me for validation but excused it because "I was a lesbian". I was looking for Male validation. But not because I was attracted to them. I wanted their approval because i had internalized transphobia and was trying to relieve my gender dysphoria without even realizing it was there. Now I've been out as a transman for 7 months and I'm happier with myself than I ever have been, and i understand why i was wrong
I used to be like this, and I think it was from my mother. She’s pretty judgmental towards s3x workers and people who dress to show off their bodies. Personally, I like to dress in a way that covers me fully, but to those who don’t, good for you!!! You’re truly living to your full potential and I’m honestly jealous of your confidence 😌💖
You know just because people dress modestly is doesn't mean they're insecure in their bodies right?💀 they just respect themselves and don't need attention from other ppl since they're happy in whatever
@@ham-sley1308I believe she does. She just have some admiration towards women who confidently put those open looks (it's not her cup of tea personally, but girls girl support shines through her words). P.s. You said like those who don't dress modestly don't respect themselves. Wth
Getting the “compliment” along the lines of, “Woah you play and make video games? You’re so much better than basic girls.” Makes me cringe big time. Like oh yeah so glad you noticed, I totally only involve myself with video games to appeal to men.
I hate this too, soo much It's even more annoying but also sort of funny when these same guys ask what games I play (personally I like a fair few games of different genres but when coming across someone like this it's fun to experiment with this question) "Oh yknow stuff like the sims, stardew valley" is always met with "oh... so you're not a real gamer you just like the girly games" uh-huh sure "I like mmo's like WoW, ESO, Final Fantasy XIV" is usually met with weird questions about whether I play the healer, or asking what level i am and proceeding to imply they're better at the game or know someone who is which is always odd, or being quizzed about the lore of the games, the response is similar to this when you say you like RPG fantasy games I've found, this whole quizzing response "I play borderlands, portal, unreal tournament, gta" is always the response that gets the "woah ur a real gamer girl then" response, until they ask if I play csgo or call of duty and I say no haha I just wanna enjoy all my games and not have them scored on a "how impressive is this to me, a man" scale 😭😂
@@Newtage heh right. It’s like you’re not a real gamer in their eyes unless you play the same games as they do. Like uhh doesn’t being a gamer just mean you... play games? I’m not gonna play games I don’t like just because it’ll impress a basement dweller who’s been playing COD since he was 10.
I fucking hate it tooo. I have no idea how having boobs change things. I am so sick of this shit.I hate whoever started this "I am not like other girls" shit. Now I don't even talk about videogames with people, otherwise they'd think that I am being quirky. It can never be a "compliment". Why tf are you surprised? There are female soldiers out there then why can't we play games? I hate that how people have decided that what a lady is supposed to or not supposed to do.Fuck you dude, I am going to do my thing.( I am sorry, I am full of anger rn) Why they have to connect everything a female do to attracting a man? These things should be normalised. No one should feel different or feeling alienated to do things they love. I just feel sad and angry. I am doing it because I enjoy it, not to put anyone down or to seek attention from anyone.
@@Newtage True, this dude on the internet said "Girls can't game" and when I said we can. He said what games you play, ludo? And I told him that I don't have to proof shit to you.
"You took on personality traits rather than just building your own personality" What the fuck is a personality if not a collection of traits?? How do you build your own personality? Is there a Build-A-Personality, and did she get hers at a knock-off store?
I think she means more that the place their personality traits are coming from isn’t a place of genuine sense of self. That rather they are picking things that they think men want to hear in the desperate hopes of establishing a higher sense of self worth through social acceptance. It isn’t unlike arguments against cultural appropriation. It isn’t necessarily bad, but in the wrong context it becomes a facade for their insecurities rather than doing the adult thing of addressing your insecurities and attemting to change through practice. Tldr; they dont show, they tell, and they arent doing it cuz it’s real Edit: yes i realize the irony
I was all set to write a comment refuting her bullshit, then she released a misconception of entitlement so bewildering that I forgot everything I planned to write. Even now, I will get stuck in a loop of "What?! How even…what?!" if I reconsider it.
I, for one, am excited about the re-upload 'cause now I can justify watching it for like the bajillionth time by pretending it's new. Smort boy I am. Thank you and dog bless.
"Maturity is when you break up with your boyfriend but you still cook and clean for him every weekend until he finds a new girlfriend." Um excuse me what. He doesn't want to be with you anymore and a mature person respects his wishes and MOVES ON. Trying to insert yourself into his life despite that is the very definition of immaturity. Unless you are the one who broke up. In that case who the hell does extra work for what you know to be a bad person???
She believes she is a sexual version of his mother and that her only purpose is to serve him because (even though men owe women their lives from childbirth) men are supposedly sUpER important and need unconditional positive regard to cocoon them in womb-like warmth so they never have to treat her well...
@@0GothicSiren I don't have a boyfriend right now but I know a guy and maybe we both like each other and sometimes he cooks for me and sometimes I cook for him. Giving someone freshly cooked food they didn't need to make themselves is a very nice thing to do and even a good thing to do for friends. It's about having a honest, open, mutal relationship, rather than one based on manipulation, doormattiness, and lies.
Not that person calling herself mature when still cooking and cleaning for an Ex "until he gets a new girlfriend". Sis that isn't maturity, that's desperation and some freaky Bates mother/son relationship vibes
I can proudly say that I never was a pick me, the only woman I ever hated was me✨ Edit: I don't hate myself anymore, it was bad when I was 13-18, I was depressed and had an ED and other mental issues. I'm ok now and I understand that I shouldn't listen to my own bad thoughts about myself.
@@mstly4lg yep, a tomboy and thought that literally every girl was more beautiful than I was. Also I was disgusted by male attention, which was the reason for my tomboy style (I still am lol).
And I always heard people say that being naive is an inherently female trait (often using Eve and Pandora as examples for one argument or another) but I think, if that is so, than being irresponsible is an inherently male trait. And I love that it can be used as a response, because: "You know why it's called the Sin of Adam? Because he was the first to shift the blame to another. He was Irresponsible!" Also, there are literally countries in which families seeking financial aid will only be paid through the woman of the family (unless she is out of the picture) Because before, when they paid the men, there was little to no change in the situations of the communities because they (statistically they were more likely) would not use it for food and goods for the family, he'd spend it all on drink and such.
@@MonaLisa-zz5cv naive is humanity thing though. Same as irresponsibility. As for pandora story some Greek legends frame that she knew what was in the box the entire time and all gods/goddess designed her. Giving her each a gift. As for the adam n eve story I mean by Christian morality and traditional values adam ate the apple/pomegranate after eve gave it to him. He was held responsible for their actions as "older" but this also speaks to man being responsible for a woman's actions if u label him irresponsible for eating the fruit no ? And under cuts the problems with the lilth story given she was exiled n discarded for daring to be equal. N refusing to bow. I am curious what dom nomination you are which calls it Adam's sin ? As I have never seen that in my various Bible n would be curious to read n research it. Thanks for any help in this. N sorry if u knew the alt pandora story
@@MonaLisa-zz5cv Actually it's called original sin and only occasionally referred to as the "Sin of Adam" because of headship men had in marriage, throwing all the responsibility of what happens to men therefore Adam is responsible for the original sin when in actuality it was Eve who believed the Devil then convinced Adam to eat the apple effectively making it... well Eve's fault, so even if he did shift the blame to Eve... he would've been right.
They are both human traits, which is why it does peeve me when it's called a female trait (specifically to give reason for women to listen to men who "know better") But they were together when the snake spoke and Adam did not object. She did not try to convince him, he sinned second, but not less. Then, he was the first to blame another for his own actions, Eve following his example. Also remember that Eve was only put under Adam's rule afterwards. It was part of the punishment for him to take responsibility where he tried to throw it away and for Eve to follow him instead, because she led the way into sin. As for Pandora, that's one reason why I thought it didn't make sense for them to just say "bad stuff happened because she's a girl so she's naive." That's The only similarity, really. I'm aware that it's generally called original sin, I just added that in because in Sunday school when boys would get cocky because "women made man sin" it was dropped into the conversation by the teacher that it's also known as the sin of Adam.
i dont understand why if a an "attractive" girl hangs out with and "unattractive" guy they would be called gold diggers but if an "attractive" guy hangs out wit an "unattractive" girl shes just not good enough. Like cant we just mind our own business
@Kill it with fire That's true. But this comment's goal is to point out a double standard. Why do people assume that the 'attractive' woman only wants money out of her relationship with an 'unattractive' man? Why isn't this dynamic the same with the 'attractive' guy and the 'unattractive' girl? It's because through traditional gender roles, we expect different things out of men and women. Men are expected to be providers. Women are expected to 'serve' their husbands and to seek male validation through their looks and otherwise. This is a gross oversimplification, but I assume since you're watching videos on this feminist owned channel you are more inclined to understand what I'm getting at.
1. How do you not have a Constant migraine? 2. People are dumb & seem to Truly not understand consent. Consent isnt saying no, its consenting Into & during a liaison. 3. This jump to “men can get raped too!?”, “how come we dont see the ladies?”, “women would never get years for sex assault,” “But the risk of being falsely accused!?! Is so so so much worse than someone getting sex assaulted.” Makes my brain melt a bit.
It’s actually beneficial for both genders to learn how to cook, clean, do they own laundry etc. because my nan who’s worked in age care for years now says that the reason why so many men are in the homes is because their wives have died and that means that the men don’t know how to look after themselves. They don’t know how to do laundry or even boil water. I mean it’s really sad because the people doomed men in their generation. I’m not shaming men by this post I’m just saying that people need to stop teaching men that the wife does everything.
yeah, I used to work in collector car insurance and my company had a partnership with USAA, meaning the majority of my customers were older, traditional men. My job was to call customers for late payments, and I can't tell you how many men used the excuse "my wife died/my wife left me and she used to do all this stuff." To be honest, I find it pathetic. If you're an adult and you're treating your significant other like a secretary, maid, and personal chef, then what do you think will happen when they die? Are all of these men just hoping to die first, since they don't have any basic life skills?
@Ryan D what can I say, the truth _is_ stranger than fiction.🤷♀️ Take a small foray into history, you'd be surprised by the circumstances that arose from gender roles/norms. If literal wars have been started over a bucket, then this seems reasonable enough.
@Ryan D you would be surprised my bf had no idea until recently that he was using softener and not detergent for his laundry, teaching him cooking and more generally how to take care of a house has been a huge CHALLENGE
@Ryan D Nah, it's literal. Some of it these days depends on class. Upper middle-class white men have often literally had everything done for them, if not by a wife, mother, or girlfriend, then by others: buying microwave meals, hiring someone to clean house, sending out their laundry to be done by others or simply not washing it until they had no other choice (and ruined their clothes). No joke: I lived in Silicon Valley with numerous 20- and 30-somethings who hadn't learned anything about anything except their jobs.
I’m a young girl and in my earlier childhood I grew up and watched cringe comps of feminists and tons of misogyny and my brain was a literal sponge and I had no critical thinking skills so I soaked all of it up. Now being older I have to clean out all of the internalized misogyny and videos like this really help! I’ve made great strides but I have a lot to go. Thank you
cringe videos usually shame people for doing something that isnt normal or funny by the creators standards key words: by the creators standards i dont think i have to explain any more to get the point across, that being said lol
Same. I watched videos with titles like "FEMINIST cringe comp", "SJW cringe comp" and "LIBERALS destroyed by FACTS and LOGIC" just out of curiosity 😖 Which led me to think that feminists don't want equality, that they're too extreme (not true) and I even started to feel bad about my body bc I cared about the male gaze too much, like "why are my thighs not thick enough" "I shouldn't be flatchested, what is wrong with me I should have a curvy body." So glad I got out of that harmful mindset, basing self worth off of validation from guys is so so toxic.
That one girl on tiktok literally just proved she's a "pick me" girl when she said she's "getting the attention you've been wanting". I hope she is never in a situation where she is the one afraid to call out the person who hurt her. I know I've been guilty of being a pick me girl but I can't imagine victim blaming or shaming.
@@mahaswetadas190 Trauma doesn't guarantee change, it can actaully shield a person more. Someone might even seperate themselves from other victims of the same tramua. e.g "they didn't fight like I did"
@@CeCe1066 there’s nothing wrong with them being basic. It’s just the fact that the girl is using them to elevate herself above other women when in reality they’re hobbies that most people do.
I'm totally like others girls because all girls are beautiful, intelligent, unique and talented, and they can do whatever the fuck they want, whether its playing video games, hanging out around opposite sex or not, doing makeup and skincare, cooking, wearing a lot of clothes or very few, etc without being put down, put into cases or it being for male attention ! I wish people would stop barging into girls business and let them l i v e
This video spoke to me on a cellular level. Thank you for putting words to such a destructive (and irritating) phenomenon while also maintaining an attitude of empathy and hope. PS your voice is so calming, I could listen to you talk about anything!
@Abcbc Abcbc I didn't say submissive if that's your kink whatever, co- dependent is different it's like.... Next level. Its what happens in a lot of abusive relationships.
@@Hope.endless I don't know if I'll explain this completely correctly but, it is a sub-genre of humor/memes/youtube videos primarily for the LGBTQ+ community that points out concerning thought patterns and actions in heterosexual relationships that do not often occur in non-hetero relationships. It also aims to point out hetero archetypes and motifs that are harmful for straight people in general (relationship nonwithstanding). Examples (from things I've heard from straight friends and from tiktok!) ex. Boyfriend restraining you during an argument is "hot". (You'll see this a lot on tiktok and it usually ends in kissing as if non-consenual unnegotiated restraint is hot) ex. Girlfriend is obsessed with getting access to her boyfriend's phone ex. Boyfriend implying that if girlfriend got access to his phone they'd break up (implying that he is, in fact, cheating) ex. Husbands and Wives who mutually hate each other but refuse to break up because they believe that's what love is like ex. Gendered children or infants clothes that imply dating or sex("Lock up your daughters!" "My daddy has a gun" "I love boobies!") I've seen them all. ex. A man's fear of being gay that is so strong they refuse to perform sexual acts on women because they feel it makes them submissive
@@prettyrandomtaco477 I can imagine some redditors on there who make posts that are just straight up hate towards cis people instead of what the subreddit is actually for sadly...
I thoughtvmy girlfriend was NLOG but it turned out she was actually "analogue" so I have to compress her heavily when converting to digital format but you gain a lot of warmth through that compression so I prefer her to a digital.
@@iluvcats5422 Its the fact that people actually praise this girl for speaking up for men, but really she's actually seeking male validation. She tried to use the excuse as to why someone's ex sent them half naked girls cause it was their confidence. I feel bad for them because they genuinely don't know, but she's definitely not a good person.
She talks about men’s problems on her channel but when it comes to women they’re the bad guy. So I feel like she “stands up” for men’s rights to get men’s attention which this is the definition of a pick me girl
Back then as a middle schooler who constantly read stories on wattpad this was literally every female protagonists personality so I went with it lol I am so sorry for being like that in middle school T-T
i was like that too then later on i noticed how common and repetitive their "personalities" are. protagonists are always either quirky, "different", and then also sassy. don't apologize though, we were young. plus, there are actually some decent stories in there just hard to find tbh
Loved this analysis. I used to think I “used to be misogynistic”, but the more I learn about feminism and how I can support women, I realize I still am. But I’m learning and I hope to continue to be better.
Yeah living in this world we can never truly be free of internalized misogyny, but as long as you’re aware of it and working to be better each day, then that’s all you can do. As a wise woman once said “pobody’s nerfect.”
Really grateful for some of those internet creators! Learned what 'slut shaming' was, opened my eyes...why should I shame some one for their sexual life?! Does them enjoying themselves makes me bitter or something?! (Thought that one was mostly born from being asexual, being told all around I was just a frigid hag...when at the same time those same people called others girls hoe for having one night stands...?!?! Damn confusing ????) And then, I was on my merry way to Not-Like-Other-Girls town...'I don't like fashion, makeup and celebrities! I like comics, video games and trading card games! I'm so much better, I have personality, yada yada...' And then there's people who take the time to make educational content about those harmful way of thinking...that makes you think back on yourself and your behaviour... Really grateful for those people, believing there was hope for some of us dummies, reaching for us with their enlightenment and wisdom! (This part is just stupid joking! Don't take that seriously please!...tho the gratefulness is very serious)
@SoFi Fi I'm really excited for this new generation of women. I'm a younger millennial myself, but I can see how different the zoomer generation already is to people my age. You ladies are so inspiring and wise. Internalized misogyny is a hell of a thing to unpack.
As a guy, I now truly understand how bad simping or being an incel truly is from seeing how cringey the female equivalent is. Those kinds of attitudes just reek of insecurities and lack of self confidence. I'm glad I got out of that trap.
I've never really understood how 'simping" works, as a pejorative term - it seems to be mostly directed at men who have a crush on or are in love with certain women, by other men. Is there something I am missing? Genuine question.
@@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 Simping is when you are desperate for someone and they don't love you back. An extreme example would be when a guy likes a girl that hates him, and the guy knows she hates him but he continues to "simp" for her anyway.
I’m glad you got out of that! But I think that maybe you should try investigating all the repercussions of incels and pick me’s, because it’s way more serious than just being “cringey”. It’s absolutely harmful to both men and women.
On the other hand, incels have an extreme hatred towards women & call them femoids. That rhetoric leads to violence against women. Both originate from misogyny. I hope you see what I'm getting at. Let me remind you that fullform of simping is "sucker idolizing mediocre pussy" & that on the internet, any man who's nice to women is called one.
I guess it was no accident some of the ones featured here claimed to be Christian, I was suspecting that in their case (The Transformed Wife comes into mind)
I feel you. I remember watching this as a kid and not realising its the same person and my sister asking me who the girl who plays the girlfriend is? And I could not recognize her. I kept going through the database of faces in my head couldn't figure out where I might have seen the girlfriend before. I figured since she is white I must have seen her in a Hollywood show or movie and started asking my sister if she was in friends and started naming other shows. My sister kept staring at me increasingly exasperatedly. I finally realised she was the same person yeaaarrrsss later
That sad TikTok misogynist broke my heart and pissed me off at the same time. I hope we can build a society that stops teaching women to hate themselves.
I had to revisit this video because I recalled an incident that occurred about 15 years ago when I behaved like a pick me. And it honestly changed my perspective on how I was acting. I was out at a bar with a group of acquaintances and a guy I really liked at the time. Across the patio was a girl sitting on a table in jeans with her thong hiked very high up over the waistband of her pants and I made a snotty, judgy, sexist remark that she must have been doing it for attention. And she WAS getting a lot of attention. So this other woman who was with us at the time immediately challenged me and asked why I cared and what difference it made. I tried defending my comment but this queen would not relent. Each time I responded, she challenged me again. The point was I had no point, no defense, and it was 100% a learning experience for me. I had to concede right then and there, in front of this guy that I liked, that I had been wrong. That I didn't know why I said what I did but that she had offered me much to think about and that I would change my behavior in the future. It was an eye opener for me and I've never forgotten that moment since then. I wish I knew who she was so I could thank her but I don't. She was right and I was wrong and she made me a better person by forcing me to confront my own bad behavior and I'm eternally grateful to her for doing what she did that night.
I first came across Roma and thought, "Finally, someone who criticizes some of the unfair ideas about men in our society." Then I saw that she hates feminists and all that and my liking of her went out the window.
That girl who victim blamed people so harshly is why I get sad at the thought of what victims must feel like knowing that there's someone like her out there who's so willing to put the blame on them
Hey quick note from a former dancer about the twitter post at 13:56. Twerking is very much a dancing skill. It requires glute and thigh muscle engagement AND coordination AND lots of practice, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise and try to shame you! If you can twerk, than great! You're doing a good job sweetie! If you can't twerk, also great! I cheer for you too, don't let anyone pressure you to learning it! Happy twerking/not twerking people!!
@@Klo20007 how would you even come to that conclusion? what does thigh muscle engagement and coordination have to do with picking your nose? but, you‘re right. walking and biking are not equal to dancing but they are skills one learns to master. so learning how to walk and twerk both require practice at some point. at the end of the day both require some sort of muscle memory/active brain engagement and it comes down to what you would consider the definition of dancing is. i wouldn‘t consider walking dancing because it becomes a mundane task at some point, plus there is no elaborate choreography made to accompany some sort of music. but your comment does make me think, perhaps walking can also be considered dancing if you do it with enough bodily awareness and enjoy doing it. that‘s what dancing should be right? having fun and moving your body to some sort of rhythm or pattern. :)
It's not that you were really "not like other girls," it's that you were not a girl, but because you were socialized as a girl, something just didn't click
Same thing happened with me except Im diagnosed ND, I didn't hate other girls but felt like I was just this amorphous blob and not really a human being at times either, like no matter what I tried it felt like I was constantly on trial with my female friends
As an older white American male, I have no idea how I found this channel but this is truly informative content. So well presented and organized that often I come in to these with no idea what the topic is about and leave feeling better informed and more aware of issues in women's rights and the internet in general. I have a grown daughter who I love more than words and always went out of my way to protect and support. The level of challenge that women are facing today is just mind boggling. This channel has truly helped me be more understanding of the world outside my self imposed bubble. Just wanted to say thanks. PS, love the kitty pics, my wife and I have 2 black kitties and yours is beautiful :)
So true... I cant sit through commentary that tries to act like a documentary, like bro, this is youtube, where people post videos of Wario impressions and cats, not Britannica, chill, please.
Thank you. Lol, being high maintenance actually has nothing to do with wearing makeup. High maintenance is used to shame women who have standards, expectations, and take themselves seriously b/c the pickme doesn't "require" such treatment.
She thinks she’s so better 🙄 I don’t wear makeup either. Not because I’m ✨quirky✨ but because I’m terrible at applying eyeliner and I touch my face too much lol
I don’t wear makeup because I’m that lesbian, so I’m gonna say it wearing makeup or not is your thing, if anyone judge you because of it in good way or bad way leave them, you don’t need those dumb people
Bitch, I don't wear makeup because I just don't feel like myself in makeup (a majority of the time) and don't like how it feels on my face. I also just have cheap ass taste because I like to save money. Whoever tf does anything for a man is just sad.
There's nothing wrong with being one as a pre-teen or a young teen for a short time, same for NLTOG, while your brain is developing and while critical thinking is being formed. What's embarrassing is being a grown ass woman and having this mentality, and I know quite a lot of pickmeishas, they usually develop this personality when they get in their first serious relationship.
^^^ yes! I had a little NLOG phase in middle school, then was really exposed to feminism when I was like 16 - sometimes I still have to yell at that response in myself
@@sadiejanes6437 My phase was more fashion and music oriented. I followed trends on tumblr which were a year or two early in my small town. I listened to dubstep, d&b, rock and metal and anything that wasn't mainstream here. I hated the typical parties because I didn't know the songs and hated the music and my main personality trait was being straightedge. So yeah...
Yes, it's because women are taught that men will validate their womanhood. So we learn to chase marriage as an abstract idea. It gives us the ability to say we're a wife, a mother, etc. Women who choose not to subscribe to societal norms are shamed. What is a woman if not cleaning, cooking, submissive to sex, and docile? Would she, perhaps, have a career???🙄
@@Chellie4561 Your theory maskes sense. It's more or less the same in Europe/America. My theory is that the majority of girls here in my generation dress for themselves and are in general taught to be independent. But when they get in a relationship they often become possessive, drop their friends and stop going out. Girls are taught to put their relationship in the first place, I literally argue with my mom about that. Thus there's the stage "All women are whores except me" because they feel so special for finding a nice boyfriend atm and keeping them in their sight. Such a toxic behavior, you will never find this mentality in guys unless they have an obsessive personality in general.
I’m a bit older (38) and in my day the pick me girls were the ones who pretended to love sports, beer, and “I just get along better with guys” … we didn’t have a name for them, but man were they rampant.
When I was a little girl, I was one of the NLOG girls.. But when I grow up and realize I am gay, everything made sense. I was just to afraid to accept I love women, even I was hated by myself, being girly and other stuff.. But now I've finally accepted who I'm and how I want to be.
A revolutionary concept for the Pick Me Girls: you cannot place value on a woman, *a fully fleshed out human being*, based solely on how she is perceived by her significant other.
I feel like I've been sectioned off into a social bubble where I didn't even know what a Pick Me girl was before this video. Damn did I learn a lot here. I think as a man, I didn't really notice this kind of outward misogyny from women because I had far more exposure to the conversation about misogyny in regards to men. I feel like a piece of this larger conversation that I've been missing was unlocked in this video. Thank you!
I think the worse thing about the pick me women are that they don’t only put other women down but they also feed into men’s ego and expectations that they are better than women therefore the women should do all the work.
You guys are completely missing the point of all this. Honestly you should be ashamed for turning this back around as more bashing of other women. Pick me's are annoying and misogynistic, but implying their sexual worth is less than yours is kinda... pick me behavior. What's wrong with them is they live in society that values women only as far as they can satisfy the sexual needs/gender roles men place them in, and instead of fighting the patriarchy they fight within it to try to 'win'.
@Shy Gal. You're not really who I'm directing this at as I understand just acknowledging the hypocrisy (and boy there is some). I dont think insulting people's 😼 is really a good look though.
quick note on “AAVE”: I’m in a linguistics class on this right now, and Black scholars have expressed that AAL (African American Language), AAE (African American English), or BL (Black Language) are better terms than AAVE because they shift the focus slightly away from this comparison with “White speech” and they also avoid trivializing the validity of AAL as a dialect of its own by calling it “vernacular.” the more u know! 🌈⭐️
Thanks. I am consistently shocked by how many people have not heard of AAVE, but I like AAL much better. Thanks you for sharing with the rest of us!
Why can't we just call it slang?
karlkarly Karlsen it’s a full-fledged dialect with its own grammatical rules, verbal traditions, pronunciations, and vocabularies. slang doesn’t cover it, it is a language
@@chloezumbrun2238 so a dialect. When dose slang become dialect and dialect becomes a language?
karlkarly Karlsen dialects are generally mutually understandable within the bounds of a larger language-so, french, spanish, and italian probably started off as dialects of latin but diverged so much that they became separate languages. slang is much more short-lived and changeable than dialects, and it is usually just related to vocabulary. it is very rare that grammatical rules are invented, since they are difficult to unilaterally change. so when a way of speaking is used and understood by a group of people, and that speech has systematic rules, it can pretty much be considered a dialect. consider different dialects of british english for examples! I also recommend looking into the development/origin arguments about AAL from being a pidgin, if you’re interested!! it’s a super interesting and under-examined field :-)
“Consent shouldn’t be the absence of a no, it should be the presence of a yes”
i can't stress how important this statement is, because i can't count how many times i myself or other women have attempted to share their traumatic experiences of being stuck somewhere in the 'grey zone' of consent but get immediately shut down by people because what they endured wasn't a 'clear-cut' case of rape that needs to be taken to court and result in the guy's imprisonment. the Aziz Ansari case is the #1 conversation that springs to mind. like, something shouldn't have to be a heinous crime for us to be able to talk about the horrible effects it has on us, especially when experiences like these are common to SO many women: where you never said no but you never said yes either, often because you're afraid to speak up, often because you LIKE the guy you're with and don't want to offend him/hurt his feelings, because some guys will actually treat a 'no' as a personal slight against him and use it to make you feel guilty. yet when that girl spoke up about her experience, other women yelled her down and said 'you just had a bad date!' which is tragic if you think about it, cos that shows that they RELATE to her experience yet think that those kinds of traumatic experiences are just part of the deal of being a woman and they aren't entitled to anything more.
i think just about every woman i know has been made to feel uncomfortable or degraded at least once by a guy in a sexual context. we need to be able to talk about these incredibly common experiences, not because we're looking for a fucking prison sentence, but because we want people to become more aware about what consent means, and to realise the traumatic effects of going ahead with certain acts without checking that your partner is 100% comfortable. securing an affirmative, enthusiastic 'yes' needs to be more normalised. sexual trauma should not be such a common collective experience for women.
Informative perspective. But maybe dont use the word rape then. When describing what happened in a gray area of consent. Sexaul trauma sounds accurate. Degrading and all that. But when u accuse someone of rape it calls for a prison sentence and if that happens and the exact definition of rape didn't occur the other party should be held accountable. We should work towards a mutual understanding of both sides without the aggression and politics thats been so prevalent in the past 2 decades
@@uuncoolguy6 I don’t think I did use the word rape - I used the words “sexual trauma”, like you said, which I think is more accurate for that “grey area” of consent. That being said, I think we need to become more empathetic with how we discuss assault in general. Most women who share their stories aren’t even necessarily looking to file a police report - they just want to be heard, and validated. I think there’s an inherent problem with the way we think about criminal justice, how any time we bring up the violence one person faced, we immediately go to the other person to think about what punitive measures are warranted, and so if the victim can’t present a full array of evidence for a formal criminal case, their right to simply tell their story is utterly dismissed. It’s a symptom of living in a system of retributive justice rather than restorative justice.
i meant when coming forward with accusations if they dont meet the definition of rape then one should avoid that term. because telling a story can be destructive. if youre just looking for validation why does that need to come from other people ? on the internet? is the goal to expose soemone? make someone feel ostrichized? or just to be heard and gather a mob of sympathizers? once you are heard you have to control what happens after because that is someones life and the consequences from your story will fall on them. and just to be clear we arent talking about a rape. we are talking about coming frward when theres consensual contact first that moves into the uncomfortable and possibly degradation. my point being just because one is not seeking punishment does not mean you have not given the go for social consequences that could lead into legal due to a mob.
Consent doesn’t always have to be vocalized. It’s hard to ignore someone’s body language when they are not into it versus when they are. There are also many different ways to say no and yes.
"Men can't do drama"
Have you ever opened a history book?
men: *start a war over a bucket*
👏🙌👏🙌👏🙌
Whoever thinks that has never met an actual man, much less a group of them.
Truest thing I've ever read
Mfs fought over pepper
I love how she’s flexing she volunteers in church when the Bible literally says not to boast about volunteering
I don't think the majority of these people have read the thing...
louder please and yes Jaime S AGREED!!!
These Pick Me girls deadass assume that if they behave properly, men will treat them with respect, and any woman who doesn't behave "properly" deserves to be treated like garbage. Newsflash babes, lots of men will still treat you like shit regardless of how long your skirt is. It has nothing to do with whether I'm out here in a tight bikini. Whether or not these girls are Christian, this shit is highkey religious and Puritanical as hell.
She does it to look good
@@ButterflyScarlet Honestly as a Christian we call it "Purity Culture" and it is the worse thing ever. Women don't get sexually assaulted or treated worse because they wear tight bikinis. Teach those men not to assault, not those women to hide themselves away. They did nothing wrong! Ugh I remember in my old christian private school a male teacher brought all us girls together to basically say we were tempting others by hiking up our skirt and that he saw some girl's undies on the stair and "didn't want to have to succumb to that thought and have to deal with it" EWWWWWWWWW I was 13.
Subscribed. Heard my daughter talking like a pick me the other day. She's 17. Took her out to lunch with some of my friends. Some of whom were stylish and feminine and badass bosses in their fields. She came out thoughtful and commented how they kind of blew her mind. We spoke about the things she said and I told her to focus more on herself and be aware that it's a good thing we have diversity among women. It's okay not to be into girly things and to be into girly things. But it's not okay to hate on our own.
Wow, thank you for passing on that healthy message and for doing so in a kind manner and allowing her to experience and make her own observations on the strength in diversity among women. Kudos to you!
I wanna have a friend circle like yours when i'm older :)
I love this
Okay I hope when I have kids, none of them will have that problem. All of my female friends I have now either live a very heteronormative lifestyle or are not the kind of person you want to introduce to your kids lol.
(both are obviously perfectly okay lifestyles, just not very helpful in similar kind of situation lmao)
Agreed!!!
I was this “pick me” perfect wifey kind of girl. got in an abusive relationship. pushed away all my girlfriends for him. I’m so lucky my friends took me back once I realized what a huge mistake I had made. I’m thankful for them every day. Please support and forgive your friends when they finally wake up and please know that these “pick me girls” just have really low self worth.
I’m glad you are in a better place now. And you deserve to have such a wonderful group of friends. I agree. We’ve all been pick me’s to an extent and shaming women for being pick me’s is just as judgmental as being a pick me. We should try to help eachother improve whenever possible.
Not religious but it reminds me of the Bible verse “let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” Idk I never thought much of it but it suddenly clicked while looking at this type of content and now I’m sobbing 😭
I'm so glad you got out! And this is such an important point.
And just to clarify, I do love this video and think this behavior needs to be called out. If you love someone you will tell them that they are making a big mistake. It was the voices of other empowered women online that showed me how dumb I was being gave me the strength to leave the narcissist I was with. 🤗
Being in an abusive relationship makes you think in ways you never thought you would. Been there before too and one good thing I got out it was learning my self worth and promising myself I’ll never let that happen again!!
im happy youre doing better now and it’s okay, we’re all humans just trying to figure out life and sometimes we go on a path we regret. and you learned from it, so be proud of yourself! 🥰
“Strap in, or strap on, we don’t kink shame” iconic
Tara is THE icon.
when I say that I SMASHed that subscribe button oh my godd
It made me immediately sub
that's rough buddy
@Saphyr S. Shut up
As a black girl I can’t tell you how much it warmed my heart to see you actually go do the work and learn how aave is routinely snatched by mainstream internet culture. I’m rooting for you Tara!!
thank you Amara, really appreciate that!
@Chloe Styles ur joking right
@Chloe Styles your bigoted opinions are embarassing
@Chloe Styles errr u wot?
@Chloe Styles No
"real victims stay away from their predators."
"real victims go to the police"
ayo, i was 5 when i was abused, and it was by a family member. something just don't add up, chief..? 🤨
its clear that people who say this stuff didnt even bother to search up anything aboout räpê victims and their expiriences or ask those victims about it... i dont think they would say this if they knew what they were talking about but again people who have shit opinions and are not informed about anything do be having the loudest voice and lowket express their opinions with pride.
YoU'rE nOt ReAl
@@Kristina-kh1ms Sadly not just victims of sexual violence who have to deal with this... Where I live the police say that injuries (even to the point of hospitalization) are not evidence of a crime. It's hell.
SAME
Same. I endured ongoing physical and sexual abuse for the first six years of my life. Yeah, it sucks. I am so sorry Leah.
"Real victims go to the police"
That statement makes me sick to the stomach. I have been sexuality assaulted by a teacher and when I finally spoke out, he accused me of being schizophrenic. Guess what, everyone believed him. So yeah, I guess I would be in a better place if I had kept my mouth shut, now I'm known as the "crazy delusional daughter".
I am so sorry you have experienced this, i love you, i believe you, and i hope you'll recover from all of this.
Oooof, I agree
I am so sorry, you deserve all the happiness in this world♥️
I am so sorry, that's horrible!
I have an ex who had the "real victims go to the police" attitude so I'm glad I read the comments before watching the video to mentally prepare
I feel the same and I cannot believe that was coming out of a woman's mouth.
I just don't know what "wifey" girls have against the rest of us who are single. We're not single cause we can't get boyfriends. Some of us actually enjoy being single.
I don’t think they know how to be single
Exactly.. relationships take up too much time and drama.
@@navisailx4045 no..not all the time.. Don't be salty now
@@somiproductions They can, though. Not all of them - maybe not even most of them - but this can be a contributing factor in people not choosing to have a relationship. Less about the "drama", if you've got lucky... but time? You need to dedicate time to a relationship, as I'm sure you know. For a variety of reasons, some people may not have enough time to dedicate as needed.
That was their perspective - you have yours. Don't be judgemental now
@@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 I wasn't being judgemental tho..
"real victims go to the police" i was 7 and didn't know what was happening but okay
Same, smth happened when I was 7 and I didn’t even realize I was a victim until years later
I was inappropriately touched when I was 8 years old at school. I didn’t know it was happening back then and now I am severely traumatised as it was a close friend of my brother and I was not taken seriously back then and I am not now.
Anyways moral of the story society sucks and with almost always victim blame. (I was told that i had to expect it as I was wearing shorts that day for p.e.)
Yes, as an under-10 yro, who went to other adults and was brushed off for uncomfortable touching/things, I wish I got in my tiny, battery operated car and rove down to the freaking station. Oh.my.god.
The Police told me it was my fault lmao and i was 14 soooo
"Real victims go to the police"
Going to the police to report a rape is like going to a wolf's den to report your missing sheep
Louder!!
I’m still gonna report. Staying silent is much worse because more victims can be made and justice cannot be served . It’s better to report at least you put up a fight. People will blame you more for staying silent zz it’s like creating more potential victims. This rape topic should not be related to PICK me up and nice girls culture. Rape is a serious crime and topic and should be tackled in a lawful discussion. These pick me up girls are creating more harm than good
So true.
And there it is
@@njrom2975 I get your point. but, it isn't always that easy. what if your rapist is a public figure?an important person? or worse, a cop. And it isn't always that easy to report either, especially if it's been days or years. They don't trust you. It's like you said, people will blame a victim for staying silent. a lot of factors come into play in these situations. it took me nearly 9 yrs to come to terms with the fact that I was molested, even now the memory is hazy. But, how can I complain now? who will believe me when I'm still sell questioning that event?. It's a bit more sensitive than that, so yeah.
"I'm shy, but I say no."
Good for you. I, too, said no, but my ex still forced me to have sex with him. Whether he forced me down or kept guilting me until I gave in to make him leave me alone. And guess what? That's rape.
The internalized misogyny is honestly exhausting. My god.
I'm sorry you went through that, I hope you're doing better now ❤
Thank you for sharing your story, and I hope you’re doing much better now.
Yeah that sounds like a story nobody really needed. Maybe you just try to get approval?
@@marcin8865
Imagine someone telling someone talking about their sexual assault. And then say they’re lying. Wouldn’t be me.
@@estellesmith4118 Yeah me probably neither but the fact that she is saying that openly in the internet for everyone for no reason makes it sus a little little
I still can't get over the lady going off because her man sexually harassed the other woman.
Like how DARE she get offended that a guy is giving her unwanted attention and making remarks about her body?!!
I couldn’t either! And the dude isn’t exactly a prize to be fighting for 😂
Complimented with his hands? lol still a very strange thing to do at Walmart.
Wait he groped her...?!
@Twinkle Toes I stand corrected. Im not sure if he touched her or just complimented it apparently 🤷🏻♀️ I thought he touched her. It's still crazy that his gf is going off on the woman who doesn't want his stupid attention though. I've heard people in my family say "well if you didn't want the attention why are you wearing a skirt" to similar cases of sexual harassment and that mentality just sends me 🤦🏻♀️
@@lezaanvanwyk9202 big difference between nasty words and physical abuse.
I've spent literal years hating everything about my body. I've always covered up- wearing sweaters over t shirts to hide my arms, wearing jeans in the summertime. Now that I wear tighter clothes and cropped things, it's so hurtful when I see women telling me that I'm a slut or a whore for it. So many girls dress for themselves and literally every single woman is insecure, so why can't we celebrate each other for being confident?
I was like that when I was younger... As u get older u will not care as much as what everyone thinks. I'm a size 18/20 n wear body revealing clothes. . Dont give a shit what everyone thinks. . . But it took me a lot of years to get to this stage. I'm 43 now. Wear what u want!!!
@@FunkyTomo I honestly love that energy. It's a bit hard to not care what people think, but its been rewarding so far :)).
It honestly makes me so disappointing when other people put down others for being confident, I’m so proud of you though for finding stuff that you like! I’m still kind of in a phase where I like to wear more baggy clothing just cause it’s comfortable but I think crop tops are adorableee
@@batsbatsghost8757 - keep it up! .. it gets easier as you get older believe me. I wasted too much time caring about others opinions as a young woman. Don't give a f now. :) Take it or leave it :)
@Luka I aww thank you. Makes a change to getting troll hate of incels on youtube, not that their BS bothers me, but it nice when someone say something nice.
Honestly I used to be a pick me girl between the ages of like 14-16. I watched too many movies about girls who "aren't like other girls" and movies where women compete for a man. I'm not very conventionally attractive, and I noticed my friends around me were starting to get attention from boys, and I wasn't. The boys I liked were more interested in my friends. So I felt the need to have something "different" and "quirky" about me, in order to make boys like me. And the sad part is, it worked. And when guys would tell me "oh, more girls should be like you" it just validated it further. Of course, I wasn't being my true self, so I got the attention I wanted, but I wasn't happy. Luckily I grew out of it, and now I cringe looking back. Now when I see grown women acting like a Pick Me it makes me cringe so hard 😬
It’s understandable for young girls to engage in pick me behavior and they should be given some Grace. but I will not hold back with adult pick me’s.
@@alyssapinon9670 exactly, most of us used to crave for a certain boys attention, but to have a grown ass woman still stuck with that behaviour????? embarassing and sad. im 18 and i still have some childhood friends (same age as me or older) who always slut shame other people and are obsessed with the idea to appeal to men and its not that im angry at them for being like that its just that im sad for them, it must be hard to live in that state of denial and narrow mind-ness.
I think it’s totally normal. I used to be that way at that age too - I think teens are just trying to figure themselves out. It sucks that part of that often involves trying to be “different” in order to be “better”, but I think it’s a normal phase.
Now as an adult I love video games and fantasy and weird biology stuff cause I got introduced to them when I was a pick me. So I don’t begrudge it fully cause I don’t think I would’ve found those interests if I hadn’t had that phase - but I’m VERY glad I grew out of it. It’s so…caging. I denied I loved makeup and cats and hated the particular brand of male humor I was around at the time cause I wanted to fit in with the boys. Now I can embrace all sides of me without putting other women down, and it’s so much nicer. (Also to be clear, by “particular male humor” I mean misogynistic and racist humor, which obviously isn’t restricted to men, it was just freely employed by the guys I was around at the time)
Yuppp
I had that phase at the same time, and it was bad but it definitely taught me a lot 😅
Anyone else remember being in year 7 and thinking that if you do the opposite of every female stereotype boys will think that you're special 😂. Glad I got over that phase quickly 😆.
Me. I got my first bitch slap of reality when my former friend (who was a total NLOG) turned my other friends against me because I liked fashion, makeup, talking about boys, and other girly things. So much for not judging people by their clothes and interests. And at that point I hadn’t even reached my full girly potential. Just dabbling in it.
That’s when I realized that no matter how hard I tried someone was going to judge me. So I began to fully embrace my status as a Barbie. Truthfully most guys worth my time treated me the same way they did before I embraced my girliness.
It’s even more embarrassing when people my own age (19/21 years) have this mentality. It’s ridiculous
@@alyssapinon9670 what bothers me too is that there are a lot of Pick me type girls that claim there feminists but then they constantly put other girls and woman down. I kinda wish I stayed how you stayed. I was a very girly as a little girl and then once puberty hit, I always felt criticized for it. so since then I’ve always hid my femininity. Even though I secretly felt ashamed for hiding who I was, One thing I will never do will put down girls for being too masculine or too feminine. Woman and girls are special either way. Even if somebody is considered “basic” there still special.
@@sydneycloud5930 yeah it is embarrassing to see grown adults acting like teenagers who haven’t outgrown their school girl NLOG phase. And don’t feel too bad. Even back then embracing my femininity was a process. I was still a more watered down version of a Barbie when I went to school so people would take me seriously. And I always felt like shit because guys I liked weren’t into that kind of high maintenance girl even though they liked me as a friend.
I think now that I’m in college that I’ve truly just said “fuck it I do what I want”
YIP. the only comfort i can take in NLOGs/pick-mes is that I think almost every girl went through a phase of thinking they were unique for resenting the pressure to perform femininity as young girls, and lots of those end up going down an anti-feminist path at some point (i definitely did, how embarrassing), but they eventually grow out of it once they realise they'll be so much happier if they lift up and support other women rather than tearing them down, and they'll also feel more empowered and secure in their own sense of selves if they aren't defined by comparisons to others.
i sometimes feel bad for the “pick me” and “wifey” girls, because they genuinely seem like they need a man to be happy. but then they open their mouth & ruins all sympathy i have for them
Yeah...rather then being angry I kinda feel bad/sad for them.
Cuz like you said: They seem to think they will only be happy if they have a BF/Hubby and follow every Standard Society has set for them! :/
I feel this 100%. Like you hear the internalized misogyny and self-hatred and insecurity in every word and so I feel pity but when they turn on other women and choose to be cruel... it’s harder to find compassion for them
This is exactly how I feel.
Yeah sometimes I don’t know whether I want to hug them or slap them
Yeah I feel bad for them but the second they start talking all of my sympathy goes away
"The only valid victims are the ones with police reports" is such a blind and deaf statement, im my country for example, going to the police can make thing much worse for the victim. But like your said, we all have been there in that misogynistic state and hopefully she will open her eyes one day
same, even my own family told me no to go the police, I really hate that girl.
@astrid ledesma I’m sorry that happened to you! I hope he got what he deserved. The people closest to me also told that they wouldn’t believe me because they didn’t have “his perspective.” I was afraid to go to the police and everyone around me thought I was lying. They would threaten me and say that if it were true I wouldn’t be afraid to report.
I got ✨grounded✨ for being assaulted 🙃
@@pretty948 same, they even made me apologise.
@@HorrorDiva01 I'm so sorry. It's so hard knowing other people are experiencing so much pain makes me feel guilty for some reason
I've always, always wondered why pick mes and nice guys don't just pair up and get together. But I've learned that two toxic kinds of people aren't a happy and healthy relationship make. Pick me women will still be afraid of violent "nice guys" even if they ARE putting down other women. You don't fix toxic archetypes of people by introducing them to what you think is their other half. It either makes them worse, or could endanger a pick-me girls life. And despite how NLOGS and pick me women act, they do not deserve to be subjected to violence and misogyny a "nice guy" will place when cornering you over unwanted romantic/sexual advances.
*WHAT A MARVELOUS IDEA!!!!!!*
That is a horrifying idea….let me get my popcorn
Can u imagine defending male abuse towards another woman bc ur so desperate to get a boyfriend?😀🤦🏼♀️
Fr 🙄✋
Those people make me go: How sad is your life?
I’m so glad my bf isn’t a sexist pig, so I don’t have to disrespect my entire gender in order to keep him 😌💅🏽
It is awful, and I hope everyone who did this got their karma and learned their lesson.
Lol couldn’t be me
The point about rape reminds me of a case of gang rape that happened in spain, became pretty famous. A group of boys raped a girl, there was even video evidence of it,and in the trial ( there were three judges) one of the judges didn't claim them guilty because the girl had not said "no" and had done what they told her with no complaints. This girl was 18 and was cornered by 5 older and bigger men into a place with only one exit that they where blocking. She explained that she was so terrified that her instict told her to do whatever they said to survive, everyone else agreed there was clear intimidation and the sex had not been consensual, except that judge. They walked free. But luckily months later the police got them for other crimes and this time their asses landed in jail.
I bet the judge did something to someone and tried to justify it, so he was projecting his denial onto that situation.
🤬🤬🤬🤬
@@kalpic11 exactly what I was thinking
That judge needs to be removed before they make other stupid decisions 🤦🏽♀️
@@ikindoflikemangoes4951 hopefully he will at least retire soon. He was old. We have thank though, the police and state prosecutor who kept investigating after that and managed to find other things to catch those criminals and put them in prision for anyways. Shows that there is at least some good people in the law system.
see the best bit is that i'm lesbian, so every time a pick me goes "B-BUT M-MEN WON'T MARRY YOU" it's like.... i hope the hell they don't?
As a biromantic with a heavy preference for girls, same
The way you phrase that, like it has happened before, like guy just walks up to up and they're like "Hey... We're married now, Kay bye" and just hands you a copy of the marriage license and walks off.
Imagine hating men so much you changed your sexual orientation...
@@pwabd2784 or they just like women in the first place??
@@tw6704 she said what she said...
The term "Whifey" reminds me so much on how I admire my parents relationship. I think marriage is teamwork NOT BABY SITTING.
The girl that talked about rape remind me of some few cases in my country where a lot of young women were sexually assaulted and they did made a police report but those predators still get a lot of pick me girls support them especially when they got the look and power. They always blame the victims for being too sexy and flirty. Its sickening.
I love your pfp
heyy, not to assume anything but are you indonesian by any chance since I rarely see any other indonesians actually agreeing with this
That's a really good point. I didn't even think of it that way: leveraging women against women for their benefit.
It's also really sad when people involve religion into it so the girls are too scared to search for justice because they will condemned for not being religious and socializing with men. "why were you not wearing your hijab? You were asking for it" is such a common thing for people to use as a rebuttal that a lot of girls just keep quiet because they know speaking out will play against them
@@imannatasha3302 THIS 👏👏👏
I believe I was drugged and “date raped” by a guy I knew in college. I was not sexually attracted to him but considered him a friend. I have vague memory of the event. College campuses are particularly vulnerable places where these things happen all the time. I was taken advantage of and didn’t realize it until many years later. I had no opportunity to say “no” because I was under the influence of something. I was 20 (now I’m 30) when this happened and it took years of therapy and self realization to understand what happened to me.
Saying that only true victims have police reports is ridiculous. Shame on that woman.
Im so sorry that happend to you girl. Stay safe💕
@@sara_daria2 thanks love. I am leaps and bounds better now. Be safe too ❤️
Dude that sucks
I've been wanting to just have a good-ass education and get away from my family but stuff like this scares the shit out of me
Something similar happened to me and it honestly only got to the police because I was lucky enough to have another person realize what had happened and call the police for me, otherwise I think I would have been too numb and broken to even think of doing it myself.
@@holasarrita sorry to hear that. Take care❤️
"Real victims stay away from their predators."
Sweaty, I was in a relationship with 'my' predator for 9 years. It ain't that easy.
I hope you got out ❤️
@@TaraMooknee I did, thankfully!
I live in the states aka stupid land. We here in stupid land sadly have a saying that kind of reminded me of this bull crap mind set.
"If you don't like it here, why don't you move to russia or something?"
Mostly right wingers say this but even some on the left act this way sad to say...
As if it's THAT easy to just pick up and go live a totally different life on the drop of a dime. Not like I got a job, school, homestead, material possessions, friends, and family to be tied up in lololol. Perhaps someone who's a millionaire could have the cash to pull it off with little to no risk but uhhh... NEWSFLASH! Most people are not rich lol.
Leaving a crappy relationship can often be super hard. Like your situation for example. And these same types of morons think that you could leave your partner AND your entire way of life. Like it's the easiest thing in the world lololol. Holy crap we share a planet full of chodes who don't think things out...
Anyways good for you that you got out of that shit relationship. Sorry it happened but that's life right? I'm sure we can all agree that we have run into people that we thought were kool at first but then... Then you learn that they suck and by that point you have already invested some stuff into them lol. Not a fun situation.
Anyways I hope you find someone who gels with ya better!
Hugs to you
who you calling sweaty
rewatching before it's gone !!!
@@chickpea I'm not emotionally attached to his video lmao I just wanna give her money for the video that made me find her channel again before it's gone, although idk if it's monetized
Cooking, cleaning and washing clothes are basic life skills everyone must learn. And 9:47 makes my blood boil. Men are not children. Stop infantilizing adults
@@Caroline-sl2kt Most definitely. If a woman wants to be a SAHM and housewife, she has the right to do so, and she shouldn’t be shamed for that. Conversely, if a woman chooses to focus on her career, not have children, or decides to put motherhood on the back burner for a while, it’s her choice to do so, and she should not be shamed for it. I wish we could be open minded and tolerant towards other peoples beliefs, even when they differ from our own.
Agreed
Wifeys got trapped. We’re still free 😀. Reminds me of Stepford Wives (1970s)
Its called caring about your partner, learn it, might help.
Who would i earn money, women are not children, stop infanitalisng women.
@@Cyborg_Lenin Did you read that post? The woman said that a husband should be your first child. I have a feeling that it’s satire, but there are some women who think this way. There’s a difference between caring for your partner and treating them like your son.
"real victims go to the police." what a disgusting, ignorant thing to say. she says she's done research and is well-informed on her mens rights positions, but apparently doesn't seem to know the first thing about the politics of reporting rape, which I thought was just common knowledge at this point, after so many years of awareness campaigns about why women don't report.
Male and female victims all around the world always hesitate to go to the Police due to stigma regarding sexual harrassment
Even then, admittedly this was a while ago, but I had a friend who was in a sexual relationship with her boss at a fast food chain. She chose to refer to it as statutory rape because she was 15 but felt like she had been a willing participant - I don’t necessarily agree on how willing she was but I don’t want to misrepresent her.
Later when she found out he was retraining to be a teacher, she took her story, the messages they’d exchanged and video footage of him engaging in sexual contact with her to the police and the man was never prosecuted. She felt like they didn’t care and weren’t taking her seriously despite her having evidence of a relationship taking place with sexual contact. If someone hears that story and they get raped, what’s the point of coming forward? What will change? Unless they’ve been a prolific rapist with many victims who have collected evidence of the crimes committed it’s unlikely that they will be given a lengthy sentence. Prisons also aren’t known for rehabilitation so that’s unlikely too
@@kiraveritas3060 exactly, victims are presented with one very narrow vision of what “justice” means, so even if the police do manage to take it seriously, they’re still only working toward one outcome: punishment of the offender. The problem with retributive justice is it totally focuses around the offender, and the actual needs of the victim get totally pushed aside. Our standard criminal justice procedures are not well suited to women dealing with sexual trauma.
There is this awesome movie about that topic that's probably still relevant "The Accused" (1988) with Jodie Foster
When I was 14 or 15 I think my mother watched that movie with me and explained the whole topic to me
The sad, harsh reality is that if you dont go to the police, the crime has a zero percent chance of being solved. I get why people wouldnt, but it's just the way it is.
“Real victims go to the police”
Kids: 👁👄👁
Ppl who already did but the police did nothing: 👁👄👁
Ppl who were killed by their r@p1st: 👁👄👁
Ppl who were forced not to go out and report them: 👁👄👁
Exactly she kinda brainwashed a bunch of 12+ year old boys into victim blaming.😭
@2ndBookofLaughter “MarkIsaacM” that doesn't excuse her victim blaming tho?
@2ndBookofLaughter “MarkIsaacM” she's not providing solutions though she's just spreading toxic ideas that aren't representative of all victims and their needs
@2ndBookofLaughter “MarkIsaacM” as stated in the video, often making a police report doesn't really lead to much because unless you got a rape kit directly after the assault it's hard to get your rapist convicted, and so often victims have to relive their trauma only to watch their rapist walk away uncharged at the end
@2ndBookofLaughter Saying someone isn't a "real" victim until they go to the police isn't advice. It's just toxic rhetoric meant to put down girls who share their stories of SA. Ironically by her criteria, men are usually not "real" victims because they rarely go to the police about SA
Saying “no” wasn’t an option. I felt that, I was in a situation where a security guard was sexually harassing me. He was armed and he look like he can snap any minute. After kindly refusing multiple times, I told him “I like you but I’m super tired rn it’s 2 in the morning, can we do this tomorrow?” We switched number and he let me go. The next morning I report him to the authorities.
I wonder what would happen to me if I say “no” on that day
Girl, this would haunt me forever. You did the right thing to report him. I wonder who else he treated that way…
These women should just marry the pick up artists so everyone else can be free of both groups.
You just created world peace
Fr✌🏽😂😂😂
Pick up artists would never marry. On second thought maybe they would if the wife will let them keep sleeping with other people and do everything for them like mommy. So a pick me girl. Maybe this is a good idea.
Uh, no. That would create a whole generation of children who are raised by pick up artists and pick me women!
I wish only a holes would bother other a holes but you kno...
To be honest though, the girl with the neck tattoo *does* have a personality. It’s yelling. Yelling is her personality.
And trying way too hard at being "weird" or "funny" with the way she starts her pointless videos off when kicking the door. 🙄
She came sent her entire "army" after a friend of someone I was close with because she outed her abuser on one of those Instagram pages and Roma decided she was falsely accusing him.... She's truly unbelievable in all the wrong ways.
I’ve watched videos from men who are red pilled black pilled or basically a part of the MGTOW community and they call her a Chamaeleon because basically she will say what sounds appealing to men and seem like she is maybe somewhat anti-feminist or anti-pick me girl but she’s actually being a pick me girl herself she’s basically just a Chamaeleon because she’ll pretend to be on the side of MGTOW or men just for the approval of men or views/subscribers
😂😂😂😂😂
@Dylan White yes it’s disgusting and distracting there’s nothing worse than an ugly tattoo that’s huge and on the neck on anyone male or female, but she said it herself it’s for repelling or intimidating men because she’s an abuse victim
I escaped a nearly decade long abusive marriage a couple years ago. The police and the justice system in general literally never helped me and treated me like a liar who was wasting their time.
@I Dk Well, considered that fourty-some percent of cops are domestic abusers themselves, are we really surprised that they don't care?
I'm so sorry
You should've used the self inflicted wounds and bruises as a tactic to put your ex husband in jail.
I am so sorry, sending all my love and good vibes to you for the future
Same! The system sucks but I hope you're doing better now and you get everything you need to heal and move forward ❤️
a woman who doesn't cook for her husband can't complain about being cheated on. -A misogynist girl pick me
Can your man get away with not paying bills or working?
@@tiffanyjohnson135 i don't have a man
@tiffanyjohnson135 Haha Depending on the reason, *yes.*
My [now husband] lost his job with no warning and we live in a high cost of living state, so if it weren’t for the fact that he lived “below his means” and could save a decent amount, (and, depending on how your landlord feels about you being out of a job, that wouldn’t be enough) the ends might not have met.
He was fired and marked “not eligible for rehire” by the place he’d been with over a year - and it was for warning a new coworker that the boss was a predator (HR knew and did nothing) and the shift manager who was sucking up to the boss told about it.
His job search was prolonged because he was unaware at first about the Do-Not-Hire thing, and it was the only work experience he’d had since college and getting certified. It took him months to get another job.
We usually took turns or split before, but I started paying for all the dates and just checking he didn’t need help financially. He did the same for me when I was between jobs.
Now, we’re married and work different shifts and he gets home before me, so if he doesn’t want leftovers we cooked together, he usually cooks us dinner.
Not everything is black & white or blue & pink. Especially when people’s hearts are in the game. This is life.
Broooooooooo I'll never understand how women, make other women, feel shitty about themselves? Like do you realize we're all in the same boat?
That's the thing, Pick Me's want to feel superior even though they're subservient, brainwashed zombies. Pick Me's don't actually care about raising other women up.......they thrive of negativity and making other women feel bad. Other women are nothing to them.
Is cause they feel so horrendous about themselves they must put other down to feel a slight bit better.
Unfortunately a lot of us are taught from other people and the media are taught that our value comes from being desired by men. And because other women are seen as competition it’s the outcome :(
A female ceo kinda got to the root of this once. She was talking about how theres basically an understanding in any Company that there's room for A woman at the top so instead of it being me against every other person, its me vs every other woman. Instead of anger at the system its turned on our sisters and I think we do that with dating too
Yeah, it's so pathetic tbh
I’m not like other girls, I’m ✨worse✨
the irony lmao
😂😂😂
Sorry just love the humor
So funny
same
Imagine wanting approval from men when gaining it from a cat feels so much more gratifying
Exactly. Men don't purr when you pet them.
@@tortis6342 wrong depends in what mood some of us are in
KAZUHA
Yesss
For real! rn I’m working really hard to get the validation of a parrot 🥰
so we’re all here rewatching 😭😭 it’s crazy seeing how much tara has grown 🥺
"Strap in or strap on, we don't kinkshame here"
*subscribes*
Same here pal
That joke was on point!
Girl! Same! Lol
Same lol
“real victims go to the police”
i was a toddler and didn’t know how to use a phone :)
also it happened my whole life i didn’t realize how wrong it was because i was groomed
now i’m in a cycle of getting in ab*sive relationships and letting them take advantage of me because i don’t know how to defend myself :)
oh my god i am so sorry, i hope you can get the help you need. sending lots of virtual hugs ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ
It wasn’t your fault... don’t let that stupid comment stick. Maybe check out Gabor Mate on healing trauma...? ♥️
Don't let that girl get to you, she doesn't understand, because she has gotten so idiotic trying to get male attention.
dude, i'm so, so sorry. been there, and i'm still fighting the after effects. please, remember that you're beautiful, it isn't your fault (you were literally a baby), and that you're not alone. sending lots of hugs your way! ╰(◡‿◡✿╰)
Lol
I used to be a pick me for validation but excused it because "I was a lesbian". I was looking for Male validation. But not because I was attracted to them. I wanted their approval because i had internalized transphobia and was trying to relieve my gender dysphoria without even realizing it was there. Now I've been out as a transman for 7 months and I'm happier with myself than I ever have been, and i understand why i was wrong
I used to be an nlog for similar reasons. I'm slowly coming out as a demiboy.
Pick me boys are a thing too!
@@Luckyou03 You might already know this, but Tara has a video on them too!
When I was younger I was a "nlog" girl beacause I felt insecure
So the question is: Now do you seek your own validation?
Or now that your a man do you seek female validation?
I used to be like this, and I think it was from my mother. She’s pretty judgmental towards s3x workers and people who dress to show off their bodies. Personally, I like to dress in a way that covers me fully, but to those who don’t, good for you!!! You’re truly living to your full potential and I’m honestly jealous of your confidence 😌💖
If you're comfortable on those clothes, you're living on your full potential too!! 💖💖
Yess bestie comfort is key! If u feel good in whatever ur wearing, ur living to ur full potential!!
You know just because people dress modestly is doesn't mean they're insecure in their bodies right?💀 they just respect themselves and don't need attention from other ppl since they're happy in whatever
@@ham-sley1308I believe she does. She just have some admiration towards women who confidently put those open looks (it's not her cup of tea personally, but girls girl support shines through her words).
P.s. You said like those who don't dress modestly don't respect themselves. Wth
@@ham-sley1308 ha please don't write ever again
Getting the “compliment” along the lines of, “Woah you play and make video games? You’re so much better than basic girls.” Makes me cringe big time.
Like oh yeah so glad you noticed, I totally only involve myself with video games to appeal to men.
I hate this too, soo much
It's even more annoying but also sort of funny when these same guys ask what games I play (personally I like a fair few games of different genres but when coming across someone like this it's fun to experiment with this question)
"Oh yknow stuff like the sims, stardew valley" is always met with "oh... so you're not a real gamer you just like the girly games" uh-huh sure
"I like mmo's like WoW, ESO, Final Fantasy XIV" is usually met with weird questions about whether I play the healer, or asking what level i am and proceeding to imply they're better at the game or know someone who is which is always odd, or being quizzed about the lore of the games, the response is similar to this when you say you like RPG fantasy games I've found, this whole quizzing response
"I play borderlands, portal, unreal tournament, gta" is always the response that gets the "woah ur a real gamer girl then" response, until they ask if I play csgo or call of duty and I say no haha
I just wanna enjoy all my games and not have them scored on a "how impressive is this to me, a man" scale 😭😂
@@Newtage heh right. It’s like you’re not a real gamer in their eyes unless you play the same games as they do. Like uhh doesn’t being a gamer just mean you... play games? I’m not gonna play games I don’t like just because it’ll impress a basement dweller who’s been playing COD since he was 10.
@@jessbeaucher2241 lmao fr
I fucking hate it tooo. I have no idea how having boobs change things. I am so sick of this shit.I hate whoever started this "I am not like other girls" shit. Now I don't even talk about videogames with people, otherwise they'd think that I am being quirky. It can never be a "compliment". Why tf are you surprised? There are female soldiers out there then why can't we play games? I hate that how people have decided that what a lady is supposed to or not supposed to do.Fuck you dude, I am going to do my thing.( I am sorry, I am full of anger rn) Why they have to connect everything a female do to attracting a man? These things should be normalised. No one should feel different or feeling alienated to do things they love. I just feel sad and angry. I am doing it because I enjoy it, not to put anyone down or to seek attention from anyone.
@@Newtage True, this dude on the internet said "Girls can't game" and when I said we can. He said what games you play, ludo? And I told him that I don't have to proof shit to you.
"You took on personality traits rather than just building your own personality"
What the fuck is a personality if not a collection of traits?? How do you build your own personality? Is there a Build-A-Personality, and did she get hers at a knock-off store?
What a silly question! You write "testingcheats true", then "casfulledit on", go to CAS and change your traits! Didn't you play The Sims?
@@carrot7868 smjdjdkssksk I’m sent 😭😭💀
I think she means more that the place their personality traits are coming from isn’t a place of genuine sense of self. That rather they are picking things that they think men want to hear in the desperate hopes of establishing a higher sense of self worth through social acceptance. It isn’t unlike arguments against cultural appropriation. It isn’t necessarily bad, but in the wrong context it becomes a facade for their insecurities rather than doing the adult thing of addressing your insecurities and attemting to change through practice.
Tldr; they dont show, they tell, and they arent doing it cuz it’s real
Edit: yes i realize the irony
Maybe its next to the build-a-bear shop
I was all set to write a comment refuting her bullshit, then she released a misconception of entitlement so bewildering that I forgot everything I planned to write. Even now, I will get stuck in a loop of "What?! How even…what?!" if I reconsider it.
I, for one, am excited about the re-upload 'cause now I can justify watching it for like the bajillionth time by pretending it's new. Smort boy I am. Thank you and dog bless.
awww thanks!
*God bless??
@@deadinside-jk Nah, it was intentional! Dog blessings are good blessings.
@@FinntasticMrFox 😂k
SAME
don't mind me quickly archiving this...
"Maturity is when you break up with your boyfriend but you still cook and clean for him every weekend until he finds a new girlfriend."
Um excuse me what. He doesn't want to be with you anymore and a mature person respects his wishes and MOVES ON. Trying to insert yourself into his life despite that is the very definition of immaturity. Unless you are the one who broke up. In that case who the hell does extra work for what you know to be a bad person???
She believes she is a sexual version of his mother and that her only purpose is to serve him because (even though men owe women their lives from childbirth) men are supposedly sUpER important and need unconditional positive regard to cocoon them in womb-like warmth so they never have to treat her well...
@@candicefrost4561 Women who think like that just gives of alabama vibes to me. And it's super creepy.
A woman shouldn't be cooking and cleaning for a boyfriend anyways only husband's should get that...
@@0GothicSiren I don't have a boyfriend right now but I know a guy and maybe we both like each other and sometimes he cooks for me and sometimes I cook for him. Giving someone freshly cooked food they didn't need to make themselves is a very nice thing to do and even a good thing to do for friends. It's about having a honest, open, mutal relationship, rather than one based on manipulation, doormattiness, and lies.
@@Iudicatio true if someone has a mutual relationship like that than it's fine.
Not that person calling herself mature when still cooking and cleaning for an Ex "until he gets a new girlfriend". Sis that isn't maturity, that's desperation and some freaky Bates mother/son relationship vibes
PLSSS NOT BATES MOTEL SKSJHFR
It was a joke 😅
I can proudly say that I never was a pick me, the only woman I ever hated was me✨
Edit: I don't hate myself anymore, it was bad when I was 13-18, I was depressed and had an ED and other mental issues. I'm ok now and I understand that I shouldn't listen to my own bad thoughts about myself.
ooooooh the plot twist, I can feel it in my bones!
I cackled, thanks
Yes 😇😇
So, you have been a self deprecating nlog?
@@mstly4lg yep, a tomboy and thought that literally every girl was more beautiful than I was. Also I was disgusted by male attention, which was the reason for my tomboy style (I still am lol).
I love your personality, look, voice inflection, everything. You're very calming to listen to.
Smug is a better word
@@eatass5627 She's smug because she's right.
I love how misogyny always makes a way to make a man’s action a woman’s responsibility
I really like your wording
And I always heard people say that being naive is an inherently female trait (often using Eve and Pandora as examples for one argument or another) but I think, if that is so, than being irresponsible is an inherently male trait. And I love that it can be used as a response, because: "You know why it's called the Sin of Adam? Because he was the first to shift the blame to another. He was Irresponsible!"
Also, there are literally countries in which families seeking financial aid will only be paid through the woman of the family (unless she is out of the picture) Because before, when they paid the men, there was little to no change in the situations of the communities because they (statistically they were more likely) would not use it for food and goods for the family, he'd spend it all on drink and such.
@@MonaLisa-zz5cv naive is humanity thing though. Same as irresponsibility. As for pandora story some Greek legends frame that she knew what was in the box the entire time and all gods/goddess designed her. Giving her each a gift.
As for the adam n eve story I mean by Christian morality and traditional values adam ate the apple/pomegranate after eve gave it to him. He was held responsible for their actions as "older" but this also speaks to man being responsible for a woman's actions if u label him irresponsible for eating the fruit no ? And under cuts the problems with the lilth story given she was exiled n discarded for daring to be equal. N refusing to bow. I am curious what dom nomination you are which calls it Adam's sin ? As I have never seen that in my various Bible n would be curious to read n research it.
Thanks for any help in this.
N sorry if u knew the alt pandora story
@@MonaLisa-zz5cv Actually it's called original sin and only occasionally referred to as the "Sin of Adam" because of headship men had in marriage, throwing all the responsibility of what happens to men therefore Adam is responsible for the original sin when in actuality it was Eve who believed the Devil then convinced Adam to eat the apple effectively making it... well Eve's fault, so even if he did shift the blame to Eve... he would've been right.
They are both human traits, which is why it does peeve me when it's called a female trait (specifically to give reason for women to listen to men who "know better")
But they were together when the snake spoke and Adam did not object. She did not try to convince him, he sinned second, but not less. Then, he was the first to blame another for his own actions, Eve following his example.
Also remember that Eve was only put under Adam's rule afterwards. It was part of the punishment for him to take responsibility where he tried to throw it away and for Eve to follow him instead, because she led the way into sin.
As for Pandora, that's one reason why I thought it didn't make sense for them to just say "bad stuff happened because she's a girl so she's naive." That's The only similarity, really.
I'm aware that it's generally called original sin, I just added that in because in Sunday school when boys would get cocky because "women made man sin" it was dropped into the conversation by the teacher that it's also known as the sin of Adam.
As a black and native person thanks for adding in the stuff about aave many people just call it internet slang
I like ur pfp
@@Name-tn1zg thanks 😊 ♡
you're really beautiful js
@@zuzu9190 thankss 😊 💓
Is it okay that I used aave before knowing it was bad?
i dont understand why if a an "attractive" girl hangs out with and "unattractive" guy they would be called gold diggers but if an "attractive" guy hangs out wit an "unattractive" girl shes just not good enough.
Like cant we just mind our own business
it's usually because of how society paints stereotypes and judges from the outside. We can't mind our own business because we're nosy humans lol
@Kill it with fire You're kinda missing the point
@Kill it with fire That's true. But this comment's goal is to point out a double standard.
Why do people assume that the 'attractive' woman only wants money out of her relationship with an 'unattractive' man? Why isn't this dynamic the same with the 'attractive' guy and the 'unattractive' girl?
It's because through traditional gender roles, we expect different things out of men and women.
Men are expected to be providers.
Women are expected to 'serve' their husbands and to seek male validation through their looks and otherwise.
This is a gross oversimplification, but I assume since you're watching videos on this feminist owned channel you are more inclined to understand what I'm getting at.
It’s just coming from a place of jealousy.
YES IT'S SO ANNOYING
1. How do you not have a Constant migraine? 2. People are dumb & seem to Truly not understand consent. Consent isnt saying no, its consenting Into & during a liaison. 3. This jump to “men can get raped too!?”, “how come we dont see the ladies?”, “women would never get years for sex assault,” “But the risk of being falsely accused!?! Is so so so much worse than someone getting sex assaulted.” Makes my brain melt a bit.
It’s actually beneficial for both genders to learn how to cook, clean, do they own laundry etc. because my nan who’s worked in age care for years now says that the reason why so many men are in the homes is because their wives have died and that means that the men don’t know how to look after themselves. They don’t know how to do laundry or even boil water. I mean it’s really sad because the people doomed men in their generation. I’m not shaming men by this post I’m just saying that people need to stop teaching men that the wife does everything.
yeah, I used to work in collector car insurance and my company had a partnership with USAA, meaning the majority of my customers were older, traditional men. My job was to call customers for late payments, and I can't tell you how many men used the excuse "my wife died/my wife left me and she used to do all this stuff."
To be honest, I find it pathetic. If you're an adult and you're treating your significant other like a secretary, maid, and personal chef, then what do you think will happen when they die? Are all of these men just hoping to die first, since they don't have any basic life skills?
@Ryan D what can I say, the truth _is_ stranger than fiction.🤷♀️ Take a small foray into history, you'd be surprised by the circumstances that arose from gender roles/norms.
If literal wars have been started over a bucket, then this seems reasonable enough.
@Ryan D you would be surprised my bf had no idea until recently that he was using softener and not detergent for his laundry, teaching him cooking and more generally how to take care of a house has been a huge CHALLENGE
@Ryan D Nah, it's literal. Some of it these days depends on class. Upper middle-class white men have often literally had everything done for them, if not by a wife, mother, or girlfriend, then by others: buying microwave meals, hiring someone to clean house, sending out their laundry to be done by others or simply not washing it until they had no other choice (and ruined their clothes). No joke: I lived in Silicon Valley with numerous 20- and 30-somethings who hadn't learned anything about anything except their jobs.
Wow never thought of this consequence of our society's trad gender roles. Great insight
I’m a young girl and in my earlier childhood I grew up and watched cringe comps of feminists and tons of misogyny and my brain was a literal sponge and I had no critical thinking skills so I soaked all of it up. Now being older I have to clean out all of the internalized misogyny and videos like this really help! I’ve made great strides but I have a lot to go. Thank you
Watching vieos of people being cringe doesn't make you a mysogynist
@@jasper8961 The whole culture around those “cringe videos” is very misogynistic though
cringe videos usually shame people for doing something that isnt normal or funny by the creators standards
key words: by the creators standards
i dont think i have to explain any more to get the point across, that being said lol
@@hidinfromdacops2246 I think you just let the wrong people influence you while watching those videos
Same. I watched videos with titles like "FEMINIST cringe comp", "SJW cringe comp" and "LIBERALS destroyed by FACTS and LOGIC" just out of curiosity 😖 Which led me to think that feminists don't want equality, that they're too extreme (not true) and I even started to feel bad about my body bc I cared about the male gaze too much, like "why are my thighs not thick enough" "I shouldn't be flatchested, what is wrong with me I should have a curvy body."
So glad I got out of that harmful mindset, basing self worth off of validation from guys is so so toxic.
That one girl on tiktok literally just proved she's a "pick me" girl when she said she's "getting the attention you've been wanting". I hope she is never in a situation where she is the one afraid to call out the person who hurt her. I know I've been guilty of being a pick me girl but I can't imagine victim blaming or shaming.
They rlly should learn that they aren’t anything special if their only way to show the way they are is to talk down others
Actually she should be multiple times,only years of trauma can change such a behavior. She is so privileged that she can't see shit.
@@mahaswetadas190 Trauma doesn't guarantee change, it can actaully shield a person more. Someone might even seperate themselves from other victims of the same tramua. e.g "they didn't fight like I did"
@@not_botheredd9893 some people learn and some people don't! Where ignorance is bliss,it is folly to be wise.
@@not_botheredd9893 also I have not watched her in this particular video,but I have watched other videos ,she doesn't come off like this.
Liked and subscribed when I heard you clarify about AAVE. Very much appreciated and I wish more content creators were doing so
i was today years old when i learned taylors crush’s girlfriend in you belong with me was taylor in a wig wow
same
Volunteering at church , singing, drawing, playing a sport, are literally the most basic hobbies
Ikr! They’re what every high school senior puts on their college application!
Lol. I partially do all these
Not like they’re bad either! “Basic” just has such a negative connotation nowadays that I always feel the urge to comment 🙈
So? Everyone is free to choose
@@CeCe1066 there’s nothing wrong with them being basic. It’s just the fact that the girl is using them to elevate herself above other women when in reality they’re hobbies that most people do.
I'm totally like others girls because all girls are beautiful, intelligent, unique and talented, and they can do whatever the fuck they want, whether its playing video games, hanging out around opposite sex or not, doing makeup and skincare, cooking, wearing a lot of clothes or very few, etc without being put down, put into cases or it being for male attention !
I wish people would stop barging into girls business and let them l i v e
Bruh ikr also facts ✨
This comment here is why I'm still happy to say that I am, in fact, like other girls!
Can I ask for your opinion on a matter then?
I’m not like other girls I’m way ✨worse✨
@@aline8576 how cute
This video spoke to me on a cellular level. Thank you for putting words to such a destructive (and irritating) phenomenon while also maintaining an attitude of empathy and hope. PS your voice is so calming, I could listen to you talk about anything!
Pick me sounds very "co dependency makes me hotter than you"
Fr, it's gross
@Abcbc Abcbc I didn't say submissive if that's your kink whatever, co- dependent is different it's like.... Next level. Its what happens in a lot of abusive relationships.
@Abcbc Abcbc yo wtf
And also a hint of jealousy.
i binged every tara video. she's actually so funny and isn't offensive
same i need more content😫😫😆
okay? wanna cookie?
@Jai Pennycuick then why are you here?
why did i read it as Tana and thought you were talking about Tana Mongeau lmaoii
@@manipuIateso scared of big scary man with anime girl profile picture 😓😥😰
This also has some “are the straights ok” vibes
What does that mean?
@@Hope.endless I don't know if I'll explain this completely correctly but, it is a sub-genre of humor/memes/youtube videos primarily for the LGBTQ+ community that points out concerning thought patterns and actions in heterosexual relationships that do not often occur in non-hetero relationships. It also aims to point out hetero archetypes and motifs that are harmful for straight people in general (relationship nonwithstanding).
Examples (from things I've heard from straight friends and from tiktok!)
ex. Boyfriend restraining you during an argument is "hot". (You'll see this a lot on tiktok and it usually ends in kissing as if non-consenual unnegotiated restraint is hot)
ex. Girlfriend is obsessed with getting access to her boyfriend's phone
ex. Boyfriend implying that if girlfriend got access to his phone they'd break up (implying that he is, in fact, cheating)
ex. Husbands and Wives who mutually hate each other but refuse to break up because they believe that's what love is like
ex. Gendered children or infants clothes that imply dating or sex("Lock up your daughters!" "My daddy has a gun" "I love boobies!") I've seen them all.
ex. A man's fear of being gay that is so strong they refuse to perform sexual acts on women because they feel it makes them submissive
Should we make a new subreddit called “Are the Cis-genders okay?”
@@prettyrandomtaco477 I can imagine some redditors on there who make posts that are just straight up hate towards cis people instead of what the subreddit is actually for sadly...
@@prettyrandomtaco477 nah
I thoughtvmy girlfriend was NLOG but it turned out she was actually "analogue" so I have to compress her heavily when converting to digital format but you gain a lot of warmth through that compression so I prefer her to a digital.
When the girl started saying all that about rape victims, I just cried. It made me feel sick
yes, and when we go to the police they don't do anything and release the dude.
@@iluvcats5422 Its the fact that people actually praise this girl for speaking up for men, but really she's actually seeking male validation. She tried to use the excuse as to why someone's ex sent them half naked girls cause it was their confidence. I feel bad for them because they genuinely don't know, but she's definitely not a good person.
She talks about men’s problems on her channel but when it comes to women they’re the bad guy.
So I feel like she “stands up” for men’s rights to get men’s attention which this is the definition of a pick me girl
@@Name-tn1zg can i know her channel name?!..if you know it?
@@onigiri8270 i see her videos on "Roma army" but please dont try to give her views
Back then as a middle schooler who constantly read stories on wattpad this was literally every female protagonists personality so I went with it lol I am so sorry for being like that in middle school T-T
True actually. Kinda annoying
Glad i left wattpad early before it affect me further
@@Eerii-ob5ll I still read wattpads but the main characters are always my least favorite for some reason.
i was like that too then later on i noticed how common and repetitive their "personalities" are. protagonists are always either quirky, "different", and then also sassy. don't apologize though, we were young. plus, there are actually some decent stories in there just hard to find tbh
@@fairsuns yeah true true
Loved this analysis. I used to think I “used to be misogynistic”, but the more I learn about feminism and how I can support women, I realize I still am. But I’m learning and I hope to continue to be better.
Yeah living in this world we can never truly be free of internalized misogyny, but as long as you’re aware of it and working to be better each day, then that’s all you can do. As a wise woman once said “pobody’s nerfect.”
Really grateful for some of those internet creators! Learned what 'slut shaming' was, opened my eyes...why should I shame some one for their sexual life?! Does them enjoying themselves makes me bitter or something?! (Thought that one was mostly born from being asexual, being told all around I was just a frigid hag...when at the same time those same people called others girls hoe for having one night stands...?!?! Damn confusing ????)
And then, I was on my merry way to Not-Like-Other-Girls town...'I don't like fashion, makeup and celebrities! I like comics, video games and trading card games! I'm so much better, I have personality, yada yada...'
And then there's people who take the time to make educational content about those harmful way of thinking...that makes you think back on yourself and your behaviour...
Really grateful for those people, believing there was hope for some of us dummies, reaching for us with their enlightenment and wisdom!
(This part is just stupid joking! Don't take that seriously please!...tho the gratefulness is very serious)
@SoFi Fi I'm really excited for this new generation of women. I'm a younger millennial myself, but I can see how different the zoomer generation already is to people my age. You ladies are so inspiring and wise. Internalized misogyny is a hell of a thing to unpack.
"There's still women out here that don't want anything from a man." Yeah, that's called a lesbian, buddy.
As a guy, I now truly understand how bad simping or being an incel truly is from seeing how cringey the female equivalent is. Those kinds of attitudes just reek of insecurities and lack of self confidence. I'm glad I got out of that trap.
I've never really understood how 'simping" works, as a pejorative term - it seems to be mostly directed at men who have a crush on or are in love with certain women, by other men. Is there something I am missing?
Genuine question.
@@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 Simping is when you are desperate for someone and they don't love you back. An extreme example would be when a guy likes a girl that hates him, and the guy knows she hates him but he continues to "simp" for her anyway.
I’m glad you got out of that! But I think that maybe you should try investigating all the repercussions of incels and pick me’s, because it’s way more serious than just being “cringey”. It’s absolutely harmful to both men and women.
On the other hand, incels have an extreme hatred towards women & call them femoids. That rhetoric leads to violence against women. Both originate from misogyny. I hope you see what I'm getting at.
Let me remind you that fullform of simping is "sucker idolizing mediocre pussy" & that on the internet, any man who's nice to women is called one.
@@LoveLove-fp2rn Based on my limited experience, "simping" is anything other than being shitty to women.
The saddest part of the whole issue is that to me some of this is also part of purity culture.
It 100% intersects with purity culture.
Bad things converge
It is 100% for purity culture.
I guess it was no accident some of the ones featured here claimed to be Christian, I was suspecting that in their case (The Transformed Wife comes into mind)
I just realized after like 10 fecking years that Taylor swift also played the girlfriend in that music video. What is wrong with me
I feel you. I remember watching this as a kid and not realising its the same person and my sister asking me who the girl who plays the girlfriend is? And I could not recognize her. I kept going through the database of faces in my head couldn't figure out where I might have seen the girlfriend before. I figured since she is white I must have seen her in a Hollywood show or movie and started asking my sister if she was in friends and started naming other shows. My sister kept staring at me increasingly exasperatedly. I finally realised she was the same person yeaaarrrsss later
You’re not alone 😂
Me too
So "Pickme's" are Country singers? In that case, no thanks.
It's okay, I played that music video on loop when it first came out and it took until my senior year in high school to have an "Oh wait..." moment.
It’s you acknowledging AAVE for me🥴 I love it here
I initially misheard this as "pygmy girls." Now I can't stop laughing at 7" tall girls on tiny phones, composing sanctimonious tweets.
I love to imagine they have normal sized phones, they just run around and jump on the buttons to press them
That sad TikTok misogynist broke my heart and pissed me off at the same time. I hope we can build a society that stops teaching women to hate themselves.
And also, a lot of women don't care what if another woman is for mens rights
@az_koala because they wouldn't understand the man's perspective anyway? what's the point
I had to revisit this video because I recalled an incident that occurred about 15 years ago when I behaved like a pick me. And it honestly changed my perspective on how I was acting.
I was out at a bar with a group of acquaintances and a guy I really liked at the time. Across the patio was a girl sitting on a table in jeans with her thong hiked very high up over the waistband of her pants and I made a snotty, judgy, sexist remark that she must have been doing it for attention. And she WAS getting a lot of attention. So this other woman who was with us at the time immediately challenged me and asked why I cared and what difference it made. I tried defending my comment but this queen would not relent. Each time I responded, she challenged me again.
The point was I had no point, no defense, and it was 100% a learning experience for me. I had to concede right then and there, in front of this guy that I liked, that I had been wrong. That I didn't know why I said what I did but that she had offered me much to think about and that I would change my behavior in the future. It was an eye opener for me and I've never forgotten that moment since then.
I wish I knew who she was so I could thank her but I don't. She was right and I was wrong and she made me a better person by forcing me to confront my own bad behavior and I'm eternally grateful to her for doing what she did that night.
It’s incredible you realized you were wrong! Very few people realize that
I first came across Roma and thought, "Finally, someone who criticizes some of the unfair ideas about men in our society." Then I saw that she hates feminists and all that and my liking of her went out the window.
That girl who victim blamed people so harshly is why I get sad at the thought of what victims must feel like knowing that there's someone like her out there who's so willing to put the blame on them
“you took on personality traits instead of building a f**king personality” ma'am that’s what a personality is-
Hey quick note from a former dancer about the twitter post at 13:56. Twerking is very much a dancing skill. It requires glute and thigh muscle engagement AND coordination AND lots of practice, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise and try to shame you! If you can twerk, than great! You're doing a good job sweetie! If you can't twerk, also great! I cheer for you too, don't let anyone pressure you to learning it! Happy twerking/not twerking people!!
wait... so i actually CAN dance? :o
So riding a bike, walking, eating and even nose picking is dancing?
@@Klo20007 how would you even come to that conclusion? what does thigh muscle engagement and coordination have to do with picking your nose?
but, you‘re right. walking and biking are not equal to dancing but they are skills one learns to master. so learning how to walk and twerk both require practice at some point. at the end of the day both require some sort of muscle memory/active brain engagement and it comes down to what you would consider the definition of dancing is. i wouldn‘t consider walking dancing because it becomes a mundane task at some point, plus there is no elaborate choreography made to accompany some sort of music. but your comment does make me think, perhaps walking can also be considered dancing if you do it with enough bodily awareness and enjoy doing it. that‘s what dancing should be right? having fun and moving your body to some sort of rhythm or pattern. :)
Yes girl! And it is a hard one, I've been twerking for three months and the amount of effort it takes is exhausting 😂😂
Cheers to all, twerkers or not!
And Knees!! Don’t forget the knees!
I was a NLOG back in the day as a teen. Now I'm a trans guy, whelp. Guess I really wasn't like the other girls 😂
It's not that you were really "not like other girls," it's that you were not a girl, but because you were socialized as a girl, something just didn't click
Same thing happened with me except Im diagnosed ND, I didn't hate other girls but felt like I was just this amorphous blob and not really a human being at times either, like no matter what I tried it felt like I was constantly on trial with my female friends
Why can’t girls just be nice to each other😭
Plenty are. Just doesn't get talked about because it's uneventful. Dog bites man isn't a story, man bites dog is.
Have you been drunk in the bathroom of a bar? Girls are queens, ok? Some just lose their path. Let's feel sorry for them and lead them back to pack ❤
@Average Commenter misogyny
That would be way, WAY too easy! One thing this world isn't is straightforward and sensible!
Because almost all women were raised in a society to believe other females are competition, it’s sad
i like how the video gets progressively more and more pink as time goes on
@Twinkle Toes same
Very satisfying, isn’t it?🥰🥰
Pink video! Pink video!!! PINK VIDEO! P I N K V I D E O !!!!!!!
Pop cat says to all girls be yourself, your beautiful, its okay if you want to be girly or not
yup :)
Facts
Thank you pop cat.
Thanks pop cat (:
pop cat you’re so cool :(
As an older white American male, I have no idea how I found this channel but this is truly informative content. So well presented and organized that often I come in to these with no idea what the topic is about and leave feeling better informed and more aware of issues in women's rights and the internet in general. I have a grown daughter who I love more than words and always went out of my way to protect and support. The level of challenge that women are facing today is just mind boggling.
This channel has truly helped me be more understanding of the world outside my self imposed bubble. Just wanted to say thanks.
PS, love the kitty pics, my wife and I have 2 black kitties and yours is beautiful :)
The serious commentary and the humour is so perfectly blended in this video. Gotta love commentary that doesn’t leave you emotionally exhausted.
So true... I cant sit through commentary that tries to act like a documentary, like bro, this is youtube, where people post videos of Wario impressions and cats, not Britannica, chill, please.
"I dOnT wEaR aNy mAkEuP"
"I aM nOt hIgH mAinTenAnCe"
girl......... 🙄
Thank you. Lol, being high maintenance actually has nothing to do with wearing makeup. High maintenance is used to shame women who have standards, expectations, and take themselves seriously b/c the pickme doesn't "require" such treatment.
Some girls don’t. I don’t wear it but I’ve just gotten lazy about it sense I had kids. I do like makeup though. 🤷🏼♀️😂
She thinks she’s so better 🙄 I don’t wear makeup either. Not because I’m ✨quirky✨ but because I’m terrible at applying eyeliner and I touch my face too much lol
I don’t wear makeup because I’m that lesbian, so I’m gonna say it wearing makeup or not is your thing, if anyone judge you because of it in good way or bad way leave them, you don’t need those dumb people
Bitch, I don't wear makeup because I just don't feel like myself in makeup (a majority of the time) and don't like how it feels on my face. I also just have cheap ass taste because I like to save money.
Whoever tf does anything for a man is just sad.
There's nothing wrong with being one as a pre-teen or a young teen for a short time, same for NLTOG, while your brain is developing and while critical thinking is being formed. What's embarrassing is being a grown ass woman and having this mentality, and I know quite a lot of pickmeishas, they usually develop this personality when they get in their first serious relationship.
^^^ yes! I had a little NLOG phase in middle school, then was really exposed to feminism when I was like 16 - sometimes I still have to yell at that response in myself
@@sadiejanes6437 My phase was more fashion and music oriented. I followed trends on tumblr which were a year or two early in my small town. I listened to dubstep, d&b, rock and metal and anything that wasn't mainstream here. I hated the typical parties because I didn't know the songs and hated the music and my main personality trait was being straightedge.
So yeah...
Yes, it's because women are taught that men will validate their womanhood. So we learn to chase marriage as an abstract idea. It gives us the ability to say we're a wife, a mother, etc. Women who choose not to subscribe to societal norms are shamed. What is a woman if not cleaning, cooking, submissive to sex, and docile? Would she, perhaps, have a career???🙄
@@Chellie4561 Your theory maskes sense. It's more or less the same in Europe/America. My theory is that the majority of girls here in my generation dress for themselves and are in general taught to be independent. But when they get in a relationship they often become possessive, drop their friends and stop going out. Girls are taught to put their relationship in the first place, I literally argue with my mom about that. Thus there's the stage "All women are whores except me" because they feel so special for finding a nice boyfriend atm and keeping them in their sight. Such a toxic behavior, you will never find this mentality in guys unless they have an obsessive personality in general.
I’m a bit older (38) and in my day the pick me girls were the ones who pretended to love sports, beer, and “I just get along better with guys” … we didn’t have a name for them, but man were they rampant.
When I was a little girl, I was one of the NLOG girls.. But when I grow up and realize I am gay, everything made sense. I was just to afraid to accept I love women, even I was hated by myself, being girly and other stuff.. But now I've finally accepted who I'm and how I want to be.
Proud of you! Always keep loving yourself
A tsundere character arc, where you went from not wanting to be like other girls, to wanting to be with other girls.
@@alissaconant7995 thank you sm! I hope everyone can learn it one day
@@theimplications635 as a weeb I loved everything about this comment tysm!
Bitch sameee
How can a mating call be unattractive? Isnt6that what they’re for? Attracting others? I’m so-
😂😭
It was bad at doing its job?
You ever watch animal docs? They're not always successful 😂
A revolutionary concept for the Pick Me Girls: you cannot place value on a woman, *a fully fleshed out human being*, based solely on how she is perceived by her significant other.
A revolutionary concept that flies over their heads like an airplane sadly
I feel like I've been sectioned off into a social bubble where I didn't even know what a Pick Me girl was before this video. Damn did I learn a lot here. I think as a man, I didn't really notice this kind of outward misogyny from women because I had far more exposure to the conversation about misogyny in regards to men. I feel like a piece of this larger conversation that I've been missing was unlocked in this video. Thank you!
Honestly thanks for adding warning for this TikTok... "lady", her victimblaming speech is just so nasty....
Ooof yeah I 100% agree she is intensely cringey and so off base it blows my mind.
It was so disheartening to hear the way she just victim blamed. I can’t believe there’s actually ppl like her out there:/
It's like Candace Owens, but worse.
I think the worse thing about the pick me women are that they don’t only put other women down but they also feed into men’s ego and expectations that they are better than women therefore the women should do all the work.
''Youuu women use your body for attention!!1!'' litterally stands in a bra and talks about toilet manners. Oh the hypocrisy.
@Shy Gal. she mad because no men wants to watch her only fans content.
@Shy Gal. She mad bc her kitty old and tired ig...
You guys are completely missing the point of all this. Honestly you should be ashamed for turning this back around as more bashing of other women. Pick me's are annoying and misogynistic, but implying their sexual worth is less than yours is kinda... pick me behavior. What's wrong with them is they live in society that values women only as far as they can satisfy the sexual needs/gender roles men place them in, and instead of fighting the patriarchy they fight within it to try to 'win'.
NOT to mention yall are feeding into the idea that women's ACTUAL worth is based on their sexual ability.
@Shy Gal. You're not really who I'm directing this at as I understand just acknowledging the hypocrisy (and boy there is some). I dont think insulting people's 😼 is really a good look though.