Why do people get BUTTHURT when I use this term?
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- Опубликовано: 18 фев 2024
- Why do people get BUTTHURT when I use THIS term?
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O Captain! My Captain!
O Drummer! My Drummer!
I literally have a test on elegies tomorrow and O Captain My Captain is one of the poems we studied. That’s a cool coincidence that someone mentioned it.
Aye Cap'n! Warp 8 Ser!
I love this
as a drummer yes, i would say "my guitarist" or "my singer"
Yeah, I also instantly answered the question "Yes, why not?" as well.
100% agree
Don’t care what other people think
Exactly. Every band I've ever been in, all the band members belong to each other in language.
Or “my band”, “my friend”, “MY MOM”
Contract musicians: "The drummer."
Actual band: "My drummer."
Exactly this
In my language (Hungarian) this would have exactly the opposite meaning.
This
This sums it up 👍
_... Good answer... _*_Good answer... 😏"_*
-Professor Terguson
Also, I feel like referring to the guy as "the drummer", instead of " my drummer", or "our drummer" sounds less... Idk, like you said: "the drummer"=impersonal, like instead of "ego owning" the drummer (such a stupid ass thing to say/claim and come up with lol "eGo OwNiNg"), by saying "my drummer", just calling him "the drummer" makes it sound like he's not even really part of your band, like getting the "bassist for Metallica" treatment, or the "being treated as anyone who isn't Corey or Shawn" Slipknot treatment-the way a snob refers to their maid or butler as "the help". "The drummer" makes it sound like regarded brother Bilosh that isn't even allowed to sit at the table with the real people; "the Gimp" lol
It’s quite an honor to be referred to that way. I’d never get angry if one of my students called me their teacher. That’s totally normal and instills pride and points to a sense of shared responsibility and respect.
It's common for bandmates to say "My" to indicate it's a musician in that person's band. It distinguishes a bandmate from a musician in another band. I've heard this for 40 years.
then our?
@@flogginga_dead_horse4022 That kinda only makes sense if multiple bandmates are in the same conversation. Sure if you're with most of your band and point out the band's singer at the bar, then "our singer is getting a drink". But if you're the only one around or in a 1v1 conversation, then "our" doesn't make much sense. Especially in Mike's case here, since he's one person talking to the camera, "my" is appropriate.
Also both are possessive pronouns, so unless you want to go with "the" it doesn't really make much sense to differentiate in a context of a conversation. I think a lot of people would agree that "the" feels very disconnected, which could be more upsetting than saying "my/our".
Exactly
If I am talking to my brothers. And talking about dad. They get upset if I say “my dad” instead of “our dad”
@@gitaaa7740 if I were talking to someone inside the band I would say our. Just like if I were talking to someone outside the family, I would say my dad.
The drummer that I purchased was not offended by you, don’t worry
😂😂😂
I'm actually trying to buy a new one on Craigslist right now. My old drummer died. It was a 1996 model.
Damn I would ask for a refund or a replacement!! The drummer didn't last too long? Did it? Lol
this is too funny@@impossivel2006
@@impossivel2006Are you in Spinal Tap?😂🤣
Your reference to family "my Dad" or "my friend" etc, is exactly spot on. These people who are complaining have obviously never been in a band. They just don't get it. They seem like the sort of people who just look for something to complain about. I don't listen to those people.
I've got a drummer that I've played with on and off for over 30 years. We are like family, and definitely tell each other that we love each other frequently. That being said, if we really want to drive the point home that we care about each other, I will tell him "you're my drummer", and he will reply "and you're my guitar player". It's one of the many ways that we express our deep bond not only to each other, but for others to hear and know. I don't know why the internet has to be such a terrible, toxic place.
As a guitarist who was the only person in the group of friends that knew how to play drums, I was a drummer for 10 years in a band. So anytime I heard my bassist or guitar player say" my drummer" it came from a sense of pride and had me quite smitten. There's nothing better than your group of friends taking pride in saying" yeah he's with us"
Yes. When I say my drummer, instead of the drummer, it’s been the two guys that I played the best music of my life with.
Others I didn’t get to know as well, or gig enough, but it’s not about whose band it is, or ownership, disrespect, etc.
It’s a term of endearment
Yeah, "he's my drummer" feels a lot more sincere and brotherly than "the drummer in the band I'm in*. It's about relationship, not ownership.
I think it's cool to say that cause I say the same and always did.I say my guitarist or my singer,bassist and like you were saying cause you become like a band of brothers same with if I say yea that dude is or was my sparring partner etc.Yea man cause with family we tend to say that my Mother,brother,father,sister etc. Same with my best friend.I dig your vids bud and mostly watch your drumming ones cause I'm a drummer too.Great videos by the way and your a great drummer too bud.I know you can play guitar too witch guitar I'm not all that good Well keep on putting out the great vids bud and your a humble dude man!! Rock on!! 🤘
It's a hobby for some people to be angry. Just don't let what those small amount of people think influence what you do. You be you, they will either adjust, or not.
This, exactly. Being a victim is also hobby there days, or declaring your mental health diagnosis with public enthusiasm.
baseline reality of anger
Well unfortunately they are affecting society. So push back on stupidity is needed imo
I've never really thought about it until now, but here's how it's panned out for me. I've played in a couple of long-term bands (that both played for years). In those, i referred to my bandmates as say "our drummer". Never "the drummer" (might as well say "a drummer"). Interestingly, most people outside the band would refer to "your drummer" as in "your drummer is great". No problem. For the last 10 years I've been more like a gun for hire bassist touring with several different outfits. If its a band supporting a vocalist or soloist, we are usually referred to by them as "my band" by the artist. Seems right to me. They're paying. I would refer to other band members as say "our guitarist". Just my experience to date. I dont think is it's a deal-breaker for me. There are plenty of worse ways to be disrepected for me.
I do agree that it seems like the people who have an issue with this are just an odd but very vocal minority. But I also genuinely want to commend you on being open to the possibility that they may have had a point, that you may be wrong, and that there may be an opportunity for you to learn, change, and grow here. I so appreciate that and I love to see it! Especially since you're setting a good example for so many of your viewers. Thank you! Much love to you.
I don't expect to get any kind of reply or acknowledgement of my comment, but I really do hope you see it (and it doesn't get eaten by RUclips or anything!) I really want to praise and encourage this kind of awesome, open to growth and education type of behavior, and I hope others do, too! Especially nowadays and here on the Internet where it seems like it's even more likely or popular for people to dig in their heels, shut off their mind, and not really consider other people's views/opinions and consider that they may have some legitimate points or concerns worth keeping in mind. I very much appreciate it; you rock.
You're a snowflake. If you're in a band and your talking to someone not in your band, using "my" is just fine.
It's definitely just people with a weird issue. Thanks, my RUclipsr!
The people whining sound like they've never been near any sort of collaborative musical endeavor with other real people yet feel the need to act superior online.
Just ignore these types.
I would go to say(add to 'your' point) that they have never been a part of anything substantial.. and most likely they also were kicked out of kindergarten for eating crayons..
I love it that your see your band as family and say MY Drummer, MY Bassist etc. because you also say my brother, my sister. That's beautiful! Since I'm not a native english speaker I always say our drummer, our bass player on stage but in swiss german because it would sound strange to say my... But your explanation is great and I do not see anything wrong with saying MY Drummer etc. Keep up your great work!
My experience is that it tightens the group because as you mentioned, you feel more accepted and close when a bandmate calls you "my guitarist" or any other instrument.
It's like saying, "my friend"... "my buddy" ..."my" as in we're together.........not I own you. People are really ignorant and looking for any excuse to be offended.
Perfect
I can't believe someone would be bothered by this. Imagine saying "the brother " instead of "my brother" when speaking about your actual brother. Edit - wow I was typing this comment as I was watching, and you used the exact same family analogy ! Rock on Mike .
and make a video about it
Lets all give attention to the assholes.
There is no issue with my drummer , as it refers to your band's drummer , but my brother is your male sibling, and the brother is a black dude !
Yes, dude. You can't say "my brother" you should say "the male person who was also given birth by my mother"... wait. No. Instead of "my mother," I meant to say, "the same person who also have birth to me"
There we go... it just rolls off the tongue
It's just linguistic shorthand. My drummer just means the drummer on my band. And my band just means the band I am a part of. Same with my basketball team, or my point guard.
And if you think hiring someone gives you the right to use "my" in the possession sense, then, you were born a couple of centuries too late.
What if your brother "thinks" he's a female? Can you still say my brother? Just say THE sibling and stop being a bigot. Your comment, oh, sorry, I mean, "the comment" is "inappropriate," and "offensive." They should do away with comments on RUclips and only allow thumbs-up and little hearts.
As a grammar point, I saw a recent relevant tweet (in response to a similar quibble) pointing out that when someone says "my neighborhood" the collective understanding is not that they own the neighborhood. It can be understood as the dictionary defines it: "belonging to or Associated With".
TLDR: the quibblers have a weird issue.
Context and intention. No word is inherently bad. I can take a "bad" word, and use it positively, and vice versa. The complaint says more about the complainer that it does the word being used. It shows that the complainer is not understanding the context and intention of the user, and that they are projecting their own issues onto someone else, incorrectly.
Hey it’s “MY” favorite guitarist RUclipsr.
I always say my drummer. It’s a term of endearment. When he used to be my drummer he’s my old drummer.
When I was in the Army, Charlie company, 3rd platoon was my platoon and I was their Medic.
So funny that you made this video on a very specific topic that I have thought a lot about over the years. You're the favourite musician RUclipsr.
Just curious, why would you dwell on such a nonissue? Serious question. I mean it's part of everyday human language. "My doctor , my teacher, my mechanic etc."
Bro - so long as your drummer can say “my guitarist” or “my singer”, it’s all good. This is what any of us that have ever played in a band have said about each other. You’re good.
Like saying "my friend" which those folks complaining wouldn't understand either because they probably don't have any friends because nobody can tolerate being in the same room as them
you have nothing to apologize for. been in a band with 2 other guys since 1990 we are brothers more than my actual family. WE are a unit, part of each other's lives and have so many shared experiences no one else was there for.
"my drummer" sounds kinda grand, like "my boy" it feels like a sign of respect
I'm 34 and have always referred to my bandmates this way and vice versa. I've never heard of this before.
Ikr! 😅 Me neither, it's kinda funny people get bent outta shape over absolutely nothing.
I'll be 58 next month, and my bandmates (the bandmates???) have always said, "My guitarist" or "My bassists" etc. I feel good when someone says, "My guitarist" and that person is me. If they said, "The guitarist," I think I'd feel less connected to the band-family, almost as if they said "the dog," and I'd start expecting the ax to fall soon.
I think the "my" is somewhat a term of endearment. When someone calls me their singer or guitarist I don't feel owned, I feel wanted.
As someone who plays guitar but isn't in a band I would be very happy to be referred to as "my guitarist" especially if the person doing the referring has talent, it would elevate my own sense of worth as a guitarist.
It’s a familial term that is slightly more convenient than “the person responsible for making the noise on a percussion kit to which I play guitar.”
I never been in a band but I have played on many sport teams and I would always refer to my teammates by saying “that’s my quarterback” or “that’s my shortstop”… I think it’s a lot of the new generation that are taking things to the extreme. I get not wanting to be placed in a realm of being owned but when it comes to sports teams or bands it’s a family and you just use the word “MY” as a term to describe how close you all are but that’s just me… LOVE YOU ALL 💚💜
I never comment on RUclips videos, but after watching this one I had to do so. I definitely feel it's a generational thing. I'm somewhere around your age and agree with you 100% on this. I've both referred to bandmates, and been referred to this way, and I can say with confidence no one was ever offended or felt weirded out by it
The intro with the angry guy at the keyboard was perfect, haha!
I say "my drummer" or "my singer" too, it's just easier than "the drummer that I play with at the moment" or worse, "one of the drummers I sometimes play with" to be absolutely clear. Lol...
Simply refer to them as “drum boy”.
Little drummer boy
@@havenless3551in 2024, we say diminutive drumming person. 😂😂😂
@@johnnyxmusic😂😂
If the biggest thing someone has to worry about in life is how people refer to their band mates , they must have some awesome lives!! My band mates call me a lot worse. I love your channel, always great content.
I always have said “my _____.” Not because I thought I was the most important or I thought I owned someone. I’d say our drummer if I was hanging out with another band member maybe. I don’t think it should upset anyone.
There was a incident where Mick Jagger referred to Charlie Watts as "my drummer" in an interview. Charlie proceeded to go to his hotel room and punch him in the face
Yeah, but iirc correctly he then proceeded to tell Mick he was "his singer". So I think it was less about being called "my drummer" and more about Mick being a dickhead.
That sounds more out of Jagger not acknowledging him by name as opposed to the “possessive” MY that people have a problem with
But that’s not why Charlie punched Mick in the face.
Well Jagger probably was gonna get punched anyway.
No, it was at a hotel and he was yelling "where's my drummer! Tell my drummer to get here now!" and stuff like that, when someone went to get Charlie and told him, that's when he walked in and punched him. I'll see if I can find it, I watched a video on it not long ago.
It's only OUR drummer because he's the only reliable one in the area and is in 12 bands
"Comrade drummer" in those situations 😂
The family analogy is perfect!
Had a drummer about 20 years ago that thought like this. He was offended because the other band members would say “my band” and “my drummer”. He insisted that we should instead say “the band of which I’m part of” and “the drummer of the band that I’m part of”. That didn’t happen. He was just always looking for things to be offended about.
You’re my RUclips guitar teacher dude.
As a gen-Z'er, I find saying my drummer to make the absolute most grammatical sense as well as the emotional sense, basically, you're fine dude
I think people are reading way to hard into it. It's common for people to be overly critical of the people they are watching. One of the main reasons I subscribed to this channel is that you seem very humble. You always have nice things to say about other musicians always lifting others up and never tearing them down, even when giving criticism. You seem to have one of the smaller egos out of all the guitar youtubers out there.
And like your drummer said, I'd be happy to have a friend and bandmate call me their guitar player. It makes me feel wanted and everyone needs that.
I like the “my” as a singer I use it all the time, and my mates refer to me in the same way. Taking it even a step further if you’re referring to a singer of a band and you’re talking to the drummer, you say, how long have you had your singer or something of that effect it is a term of endearment. My sound guy my light guy my RUclips guy!
This is video is unironically funny. :)
I get the feeling the people taking offense to "my drummer" in the youtube comment section are just chronically-online, out-of-touch, always-angry people. Any amount of socializing, networking, friend-making, etc. in real life is going to require hearing each other out and stuff instead of just immediately taking offense to semantics.
I was going to make the point that it’s like saying “my friend “ even if you are in a group of friends but half way through your video I realized you were making the same point. It’s like in a sports team, you can say my teammate as much as you can say our teammate. Both are equal.
And you would say my teammate unless you were speaking to someone in the same team as you. It could be a generational thing though because I am as old or older than you.
Glad you did this. I so enjoy watching my RUclips channels! 😊
not sure if i missed it, what was the alternative way to say "my drummer"?
It is 100 percent a generational thing. Not EVERY young person is like this but kids are being taught about oppression and victimhood in a very specific way and its way more heavily emphasized than it ever was. So naturally some of those people will start "seeing it" in everyday life and it really bothers them. It all about context. My boss, my manager, my co-worker, my friend, my bandmate and my family are all referring to being a part of a group. So, certain things like family or boss are pretty obvious, but it becomes more of a grey area when referring to a bandmate. Why? One word: slavery. "My" in the context of ownership was always used when referring to a thing: my house, my laptop. And "my" in the context of a group was always referring to people. But slavery in this context is the ownership of people. So kids are thinking when you say "my drummer" it implies ownership and get upset. Hope this helps.
Oh good Lord.
Very well stated!
@@NautilusGuitars thanks. its pretty funny how allot of people agreed with me, I mean its the truth and yet the comment above is someone who is offended.
Not sure you should even worry about this. Most likely the person/s that think this way were never in a band. Or worse... could be a wokie thinking "owning" is a bad thing. And Chris' answer was fantastic.
I was a huge fan of a local band. I saw they needed another guitar player. I'd watch them so often I ended up learning a few of their songs. I got a hold of the leader of the band, asked to jam with him. We jammed, he asked to meet him at a bar to watch another musician. He saw a buddy of his and when he introduced me he says "This is MY new guitar player..." That was the best feeling because it showed I was part of my favorite local band. "Oh this guy thinks I'm some sort of possession and he thinks he owns me" NEVER crossed my mind.
30 years ago the "crazy old man in the alley" was something every town had ONE of... but when the internet came, ONE in every town meant they had access, and with 100,000 towns mean 100,000 "crazy old men in the alley" are on the internet. You are bound to bump into a few
I thought everyone said "my drummer" or "my guitar player" You hit it on the head with the family member analogy. People really have nothing better to do amd need to go touch some grass or somethin
Like you say, it's because we're so used to saying things like "my friend Don", or "my wife Amanda", etc. The "my" is just a natural thing to say when something relates to us, as if we're saying "my band's drummer", same thing, it's not because we think we're in charge of our fellow band members or own them.
Great video, and interesting topic, it never occured to me it could be an issue, just something you say when in bands. As a guitarist I will still say my drummer, my bassist etc. It's never meant as an egotistical thing, it's just how all band mates refer to each other
My drummer says "my singer" and "my guitar player"
It's just an expression...a figure of speech. Getting offended over this, says more about the person getting offended than it does about the appropriateness of the use of the word "my"
I'm not keen on the term (not enough to comment about it though) but your explanation makes sense. I've always referred to band mates as 'our drummer' etc...
Mike is HERE. I was thinking of it like a part of your body. This is my right hand
Grammatically there are two ways “my” can be used. It can be used to show possession (my house, my car, my guitar), but it can also be used to show one’s relations (my brother, my dad, my teacher).
When I was a bassist in a band, I would say "my guitarist", "my drummer" or "my singer". It's not ownership, it's basically showing allegiance. "My" in this case grouped me with them, not showing me possessing them. Modern english has this great feature where words have multiple meanings.
Personally I get bandleader vibes from saying my drummer, but I also get your point
All band members ever refer to each other as "my (insert role here)"
"It" has a closet full of participation ribbons. "My" is the best connotation EVER!!! And, when someone loves you enough to call you MY you can call them "yours", "mine", "my" and and enjoy that love.
30years+ I always say "my" because we claim each other. We are all invested and proud of what we are doing. It's next level friends - family pretty much. So, yea, "My".
I’m a 63 year old guitarist and this is the same “what the” feeling you’re feeling with what I’ve been feeling with the absolute BS this country is going thru with PART of the young generation i.e. drama, trauma, feelings and selfishness. Fantastic video that really made me think about the isolation and anonymity SOME kids have nowadays. I cant guess your age but I’ll say I’m older, you’re getting older and looking back to your teen years like me saying “what the”. Thanks again. Now get out of my yard!
I would love if someone would call me their lead guitar player.
You are my lead guitar player.
Hey Mike, every band that I've ever been in we've always referred to each other as my drummer, my guitar player, my singer. What country are these people in? Is English their first language?? What is their culture? This could be the reason why they have problems with the term "my Drummer". When you talked about the band like a familial relationship that made total sense to me. No problems here with your use of the word "my drummer".
Wow, haha the intro to this video had my face making a kind of 'huh or what??' face, like is this really a thing? Saying my drummer or my singer etc sounds completely normal. Everyone knows what you mean.
I gotta say that if I heard someone refer to myself as their guitarist (either in person or if I was told about it later on) I agree with Chris that I would feel pretty cool too, to know they hold me in that high a regard. I'd think upon hearing it 'oh wow, that's me'. It'd feel like a sense of achievement in a way.
One of my best mates is the drummer in our band, and I basically always refer to him as "my drummer" when talking to outsiders.
Other and fellow bandmates would probably say the exact same thing. That troll wasn't a real person.
I don't think it's generational, I'm only 17 and all my band calls the drummer "My drummer". Back when I played drums for the band I was proud to hear the band call me their drummer.
I'm with you. Obviously, I don't own my team leader, my chemist, my neighbors, my best friends, or my drummer when I'm in a band, but I am honored to be a part of their lives and to have them in mine. Just like family. Sometimes better than family.
I personally own some drummers that I’ve bought..
Because people aren't too bright.
Mick Jagger & Charlie Watts dialog one time in the 80s comes to mind
Never find this a problem at all. Hearing “my (insert title here)” feels good because that makes you a part of something special
It is like the famous story of Charlie Watts walking downstairs and hitting Mick Jagger in the mouth saying, "I am not your drummer. You're MY singer!"
It depends on the person. Of course, that being said, Mick is the epitome of humility.
That being said, I wouldn't care.
I think people misunderstand the context of that fight. It wasn't what Mick said, it was the way he said it, which was actually disrespectful. Let's not model our lives after the behavior of the Stones (as most of us would quickly die). "My [bandmate]" is actually usually a term of endearment.
ruclips.net/video/8wfPZ0EKuqM/видео.html This video tells the story according to Keith, 3.40 is when that part starts, but what comes before sets the scene. It had a lot to do with Mick going behind their back and using a Rolling Stones record deal to piggyback a deal for three Mick Jagger solo albums.
Just a bunch of kids who are very sensitive!
Wow I did not know that was a thing just like a friend your my new favorite you tuber
My drummer is the new pronouns
I refer to my bandmates as my drummer, or my Bassist and what not, when preforming live I tend to say our, but I have no problem with using my bandmate, because like you said it's like a family, and my bandmates, don't seem to have an issue with it.
I really have to stretch my brain to see the offense in referring to a bandmate as "my drummer" or something along that line.
If you say you're in a band and you refer to "my guitarist", I always understand that to mean "my bandmate who plays a guitar", never "my guitar player whom I own and control". That people would think you meant the latter seems really weird to me.
my dru- i mean.. *the* drummer is hapily living in the basement, 3 meals a week and water and has no issues being called "my drummer".
It’s not you man, some people just aren’t happy unless they’re bitching about something. There’s always a critic.
It’s a term of team-membership. The people who play Dota and League do this too. They’re committed to the team so is tread of saying “the carry” or “that carry” they say “my carry” or “my support”. It doesn’t imply ownership, it implies camaraderie and commitment to the team mates. He’s not just any drummer, he’s “my drummer”.
Always used to call my band mates by "my drummer or my bass player". In a sentence, My drummer is the guy that hangs out with the musicians.
"the drummer" sounds way more egotistical than "my drummer". Maybe whoever said this has the ego problem.
I generally say “our” because for me the most important thing about playing in a band is the collaborative nature but I also don’t care if someone says “my”. Unless they are saying it with the clear intention of portraying themselves as better than the other person then there’s really no reason to read malice into it
I've never minded anyone saying, "my bass player," I've never even thought twice about it. I do feel like in my own speech, I probably say "our" more than "my", but I wonder if that's part of being a bass player (I also play in a lot of bands, 7 right now). I've been playing with multiple projects for over a decade, and when I hear any of them say "my", I agree with you and your drummer, it makes me feel like we're a family. Because we are.
When i talk about my family members i always say "Our father who art in heaven" hehe!!! it got my attention at first hearing you say "My drummer" then i got it.
What if you do own the drummer
I actually do legally own mine
That's called slavery and I don't think its a thing anymore 😅
160 years later his descendants will be extorting your descendants for financial reparations.
@@fqtooonuh uh
I've been in bands since '85, it's always My drummer, My guitarist, My singer, My bass player, I've never heard anyone complain. Kids these days look for things to cry about.
"Did what you hear what *my* drummer said?" Oh Mike you cheeky bastard.
Just from a linguistic point of view, it’s completely normal to use ‘my’ before a word that describes your relationship to someone, or where you know them from: my teacher, my student, my brother, my sister, my therapist, my teammate, etc.
Most of the bands I’ve played in have not been English-speaking, but we tend to use the equivalent of ‘our’ to talk about bandmates. When playing in duos, if the singer refers to be as ‘her’ guitarist, that would only have positive connotations for me.
Life is short. Spend as much time as possible arguing with strangers on the internet. 😀
Grammar often clarifies situations. If a band is interviewed (drummer is absent), they'd say "our drummer", because there's only one clear "we" here. But if 2 guys from 2 bands are talking, "my drummer" more strongly distinguishes your band from the other guy's band. The word "our" is more contextual in this cases: it could mean "my band", or the 2 people that are talking ("I and you here"). Of course most people get what "our" means from the context. "My" just forces one, clear meaning.
You might just be MY favourite youtube guitar guru-hope you're not triggered/offended/butthurt by that.
You're good to ignore those folks, they just haven't learned yet
I went on Bandazon & ordered an entire band, just so I could say "MY Drummer", "MY Keyboardist", "MY Guitarist", "MY bassist"... funny thing happened... they all started saying "Flyer, you're MY Sound Engineer"... and I'm OK with that...