I used to be that French boss who wouldn't share about her personal life at work :) I think it's because friendship is sacred to the French, you don't take it lightly. We like to separate business and private life because you might have to criticize, evaluate or even fire employees, so it would be awkward to share a relationship with them that is too personal. We use the vouvoiement to signify that polite distance. Anglo saxons are better with casual relationships - they can be very friendly one day and fire you the next. To a French person that would be a deep betrayal, so we avoid that intimacy in the first place.
@@mgparis But they don't know what a real friend is... I can call my friends at 03:00 AM, they will pick-up the phone and won't start by insulting me: they'll ask (with anxiety) what happened to me... Because I wouldn't call them at this time without a critical reason to do so. I was also called during night: once because a friend crashed his car on a cement block while coming back home with his wife, the second because a (female) friend was locked at home, about to be raped by a guy we both knew who was trying to break her door. In both cases, they KNEW that I'll be there, and even faster than the emergency services - for the little story, we pushed the car out of the road and I took them back to emergencies for a check-up, and the rapist apprentice guy was picked up on the pavement by emergencies - 30 minutes after I met him - for a concussion and several injuries while I was explaining to a skeptical police officer that "he simply had fallen down the stairs"... For a French, you can loan money to a friend - even big amounts. You can leave your children, even a toddler, at your friend's home for a night, a day, a week, whatever. You know their medical issues. You know their income. You often have the spare key of their house/car. You tell them hard things sometimes when they behave badly. You tell them even intimate problems when you're seeking for advice - or just a shoulder. You will take a day off (or more!) to help them move instead of be available only ONE day of ONE week-end. And so on... Most of us trust friends WAY more than our close family, even parents and siblings, because we CHOSE our friends while our family has been IMPOSED on us. I even have a copy of all critical papers of one of them - he don't trust having these copies in his house, he's more confident in mine - so in case of problem, I can give him back a copy of his ID card, social security registration, passport, bank informations, marriage certificate, birth certificate, and for him, his wife and all his kids... I can easily put him in abysmal debts or in jail, because I can do identity theft without ANY problem, but of course, and with good reasons for, he trust me to not misuse these. The same friend had lent me, at one time, the equivalent of SIX MONTHS of HIS income because I was in a difficult situation... I often put my wallet in my female friend's purse when I was with her in town - like I would do with my own wife. She even often knew my credit card's PIN number. I had all her kids in my arms few HOURS after their birth - even before the kids grandparents themselves. It's more than trust: it's the fact you consider your friends as trustfully as yourself - and sometimes even more: I remember one of them asking me to keep his checkbook and credit card because he was under buying fever at this time... Think about it twice: do you think these Americans trust enough their own family to do the same? Or their colleagues? Probably not - or they are EXTREMELY naives. So these colleagues are not friends, not like a French understand this term - we use the word "copain/copine" or "pote" ("buddy", "pal") to distinguish friendly relatives which are NOT "real" friends... French uses the terms "inconnu/étranger" ("unknown"), "connaissance" ("acquaintance"), "collègue" ("colleague"), "copain/pote" ("buddy"), "ami" ("friend"). The last one is a very difficult step to reach, we're used to say that you can count your "real" friends on a single hand. I have two (three with one's wife), and I already have more friends than most people.
@@mac_lak Généralement le vrais copain , il n'y en a que 1 et nous sommes copains depuis plus de 35 ans . mon épouse et sa vraie copine se connaissent depuis 43 ans
@@ybreton6593 C'est pour ça que je n'utilise pas le terme "copain" mais bien "ami", pour ce genre de relation "à vie". Pour ma part, j'en ai deux, et je sais que je suis bien plus "riche" que beaucoup à ce niveau... Beaucoup n'en ont pas un seul.
I'm French and I think you are right about a lot of things in this video. Except for one thing, the fact that people at work do not share personnal information is not because we love secrecy, it's because we do not consider the people we work with like friends. We do not always want them to think they are a part of our personnal life. That doesn't mean that we cannot make friends with people at work but we like to separate business and private life!
I think that's a great way to be - when I worked in an office and also when I was younger, I worked in a fashion store and in both places the other employees were asking me about my personal life, all kinds of stuff and I found it really intrusive. I liked them as colleagues, but had no wish to become friends.
Tu peux avoir des amis qui sont des collègues à l'origine. Après le monde du travail peut être si conflictuel facilement et la confiance étant limitée envers l'autre, je pense que beaucoup ne prennent pas de risques. Perso, je peux être comme un livre ouvert... mais je sais que certaines personnes peuvent profiter de cette façon d'être.
Ça il faut reconnaitre qu'ils ont du mal à le comprendre. Eux s'appellent tous par leurs prénoms comme s'ils se connaissaient depuis toujours mais ce n'est qu'une façade, c'est tout à fait superficiel
I am not French, but would totally feel at home in France. I absolutely love the more reserved and disciplined approach French people have and am tired of the fake positivity and sloppiness in North America in general. Vive la France!
There is downsides however. The most common one is a very pessimistic approach of EVERYTHING, and sincerely, not everyone can handle it. My wife is Indian, and it was extremely depressing for her during the first years in France... It took her near FIVE years to be used to that and I was extremely anxious for her first postpartum depression, but hopefully, once out of this baby blues, she was handling it way better. But if you can handle it, you'll see the upsides, in particular enjoying a LOT more your personal life, at home, with your spouse and kids. Typical French people feel well at home and don't need to get out constantly - one big exception are Paris inhabitants, who will tell you that nothing compares to Paris and that it's the only "good" town in France, while being out of their 20 m² appartment constantly, and out of the town EVERY week-end and vacation... Paradoxical behavior... At the same time, in Toulouse, I spent ALL my vacations at home, where I enjoy being with my wife and my kids, and it's always a real, painful chore to travel anywhere for even few days. We simply feel well at home, in a peaceful and comfortable environment. I prefer to put 1000€ in my house rather than on a plane ticket or a hotel bill.
@@henriradolanirina9157 Mdrrr -Ça va ? -Ça va et toi ? La réponse qu'on donne tout le temps même quand ce n'est pas vrai. Nous sommes hypocrites dans les 5 premières secondes de la conversation
I worked at an international school in Europe. I remember realizing that many of our student's families from New York had zero trust in anything or anybody. I would have to spend way more time reassuring them about everything compared to Americans from other states. As an American who wasn't from New York, I was annoyed and saddened to see how little faith they had in humanity! I'm not a naive optimist, but I could easily see how big city life drove people nuts.
The city makes poeple nervous, stressed etc... we live in flat building like in a big box. It,s not natural or human . I live in such building and i m fed up . i remember living in the french countryside and more happy
si nous croyons dans l'humanité , mais nous n'avon aucune confiance envers les anglo-saxons je dis bien en générale . car j'avais un grand amis , qui était chef pilote au port de New-York . nous les avons reçu chez nous en France et vis-versa , avant de partir vers d'autres horizons , il a demandé pour que l'on se voit mon épouse et moi étions là pour l'accompagner dans sa dernière demeure .
I agree the whole time I’m thinking it would be the same in NYC or any other large American city. I live in Ct about 2 hrs away from NYC and the honor system is used all the time with little issues
I found your channel a few weeks ago(54 days ago, according to Duolingo, found the same day I started learning French) so, hello from Texas! I found a guy from France whom is helping me with my French, and I'm helping him with his English, and every time I praise him for getting a word correct, he goes "But...?" and I'm like "No buts, you did great," and he's like "Oh." Then spends ten minutes criticizing me for my pronunciation. But, that's what he's there for, to help me get better. If I'm doing something wrong, I want to know. Edit: I've graduated to "that was perfect, keep it up" So don't mind me, I'm just super excited.
@@NotEvenFrench well, it goes both ways. I learned German in 6 months mainly because people were telling me what did I say wrong and how to do it correctly. After more than 6 years in Canada, my English still is not as good as my German, because no one corrects my mistakes.
@@MsRumex That's interesting. As an anglophone Canadian I think the English language isn't closely tied to people's national identity. Perhaps we feel less protective of it compared to other places and languages. There's a bit of a mentality that what matters is both parties understanding what's being said, unless the person welcomes correction. Maybe it reflects general ideas about criticism here, too?
@@MsRumex As a Canadian, I can totally understand why. It would be considered super impolite for me to point out your mistakes. Even if we were close friends and you asked me to, I would find it difficult to overcome my cultural conditioning (although I'm slowly getting better at helping my Japanese husband).
Definitely agree with the glass example: my grandparents (french and Congolese) did this to me while doing dishes I stacking them 'wrongly' so they fell, and it was my fault, not just you know an accident of gravity. Compare that to My Scottish friend who accidentally knocked down a wine glass that was on the floor (where I put it), felt super sorry about it, and bought me a nice set of wineglasses to make up for it. Definitely surprised me when he gave it at our next dinner together as I had forgotten about the incident.
The hard truth about us, french people, is so funny to hear from your perspective.👍. And it needs to be heard so thank you for doing it with genuine benevolence and...Louder for the people in the back ! 😁
@@palupalu5647 faire des critiques c'est as du french bashing quand on voit les vidéos de rosie c'est évident qu'elle fait ses critiques sans mauvaises intentions.
I don't agree with everything she says, but some of it is true. I especially agree with management when she speaks about the fact that it's always negative and I do think it's toxic. But at the same time I don't think our way of being critic is a bad thing in some stage. I work abroad since 6 years (Ireland to be exact), and I realised that in the workplace people tend to be positive and say yes to almost everything whereas we would tend to be very critic but only for the sake of making the conversation going, or make sure what needs to be achieved is good from thr begining rather than just put it under the rug and come back later and day "oh yeah this is wrong". This happens a lot in my workplace and I do always think I'm the only one who makes critics sometimes. However that doesn't mean we can't accept it. But I think it changes according to the people. I'm an expat and I think that maybe makes me more open minded and accept more easily critics but also because I make them.
I'm French and I agree with almost every category you put on that list! I think I'm not like that because I've spent a lot of time in the UK and with Anglo-Saxon people. I'm a teacher and I always write my feedback in two columns: the positive column (to make them know what was good/ excellent in their paper) and the tip column to get something better. My students love it and they generally say that I'm one of the only teachers to do that. I try to convince my students to stop using pencils for everything because to me it reinforces the fact that they're looking for a better, a more perfect answer to correct their ideas and I think it creates self-doubt and low self-esteem. The French education system is trying to get better at giving positive assessment and feedback but we have such a long way to go before being really positive! Anyways, I try to do my best but unfortunately, I think you're right on almost everything! Oh and btw: I stopped eating sweet food in the morning 20 years ago because I had problems with low blood sugar around 11 because of that so I've had remarks about that all my life. Plus I'm doing intermittent fasting now (which is way better for my metabolism) and to my French friends and family, I'm an alien!! The only category that I'm glad we are bad at is the category you mentioned about credit card (i guess you were refering to credit scores) because I think that system is so capitalistic that it's not going in the right direction with the ecological transition we should all be starting. the credit score system is encouraging people to buy more than they need and I think we should be heading towards minimalism not towards overconsumption in the future.
great balanced opinion. As a German, of course, I see a lot with different eyes. What I see again and again in France is the lack of interest in people who try to speak the national language. The Spaniards are very different and you often get to know people just by chatting with them in Spanish (with many errors).
@@irenemontero4678 I absolutely see what you mean! I've seen many French people correct foreigners in an almost compulsive way. I guess for most of them, it's not coming from the wrong place but they definitely need to quit that perfectionist mentality. Seriously, I'm French myself and I think this quest for perfection is getting old!
Hi Rosie ! ^^ Concerning your last point, the thing is that in Anglo-saxon countries, the way you promote people who succeded at something is very naive and is related to what is called the "survivor bias". A one-self-made-man society is a survivor biased society. When you have one Bill Gates who succeded, how many people failed and where left behind ? Sucess stories are interesting, inspiring but are they really relevant ? The problem is due to another bias called the "fundamental attribution error", concisting in considering that all the positive things that happen to us are because of us, forgetting completly about all the factors that rely on luck or chance or other people, factors you don't have any control on. When you are a soldier under fire, the difference between the hero who came back and the war casualty who died with several bullets in his chest, considering they both had the same training, the same will to live and survive, is maybe a bit of talent but is above all... LUCK ! When you are Bill Gates, you have talent, of course ! But many others had talent too, maybe much more talent ! But did they lived in the right place ? Did they they have the same opportunities ? Did they met the same people ? Etc., etc., etc.. Success stories depend on so many factors, so random factors... Are these stories interesting, definitely ! Are they relevant ? Not really, just a bit ! In France, maybe we only see what's negative, but by paying more attention to the negative, we do care about those who were left behind because we think that improving the lives of the many is more relevant than paying unnecessary attention to those who had the luck to succed by themselves especially those with money. If we are to promote someone's example, it won't be about money, it will be more about humanist talents or skills that will benefits the many. That's why we prefer to promote people engaged in humanitarian actions, to promote associations, or artists, or scientists, etc.. and don't care about Bernard Arnault or Xavier Niel. Amicalement.
I think lots of what you describe can be summarized in the word "fatalism". No need to give compliments, only give negative feedback because people will screw up eventually. Forget about climbing up the social ladder, it is impossible. Don't trust people, someone will take advantage of you anyway etc. It's all fatalistic. Having worked with french people, the lack of positive feedback and the tendency to give very harsh criticism stuck with me for a long time. Especially in Paris, being a good manager seems to be something you do by making your team members feel bad about their work.
@@donny-crypto7615 they don't. I think it's a culture shock from someone who is not used to. as a french I see a lot of positive comments too and not so fatalist people,... rather realistic. hey ! we have ambitions too, maybe we just put the standards too high ^^
Hello from France ! I'm French but I totally agree with you! It's difficult to live in France when you're a very positive person like I am. They call you a dreamer. But I try to keep up and I take all the positive things of my country... but sometimes I feel very tired. It's a fight. I think it's because at school they always tell you about what's wrong and never what is right. At work it's the same. Mistakes are a part of the process and it's normal but in France you have to be perfect (arrogant?). I raised my children more like an "English culture living way" if it makes sense. And I hope one day things will be better. We have bad habits and sometimes I dream about a country more relax. Yes you're right 100 %. New Zealand seems to be a very nice country to me ! Thank you for this video 😄
As someone from the American culture I don't feel there is anything wrong with being a dreamer and having a positive outlook on life. Dreaming can give us the drive to push for something better for ourselves and family instead of conatantly living in the negative with no hope for the future. That is not to say that your dreams don't have to be acompanied with action and hard work, because you can dream all you want but never have it come to fruition if you don't take action to make it happen. I would absoultely be considered a dreamer by the French, heck, I am considered a dreamer from American standards as well, but I have acomplished so many things and have begun to make a name for myself because I have dared to dream and be positive. ... I believe I am off topic now, but the point is, good for you daring to be positive and having hope for the future. Better yet, good for you passing that on to your children. Stay strong!
As an English teacher sometimes I really struggle to say something positive to my students. It is very frustrating to me because I want to tell them something positive but sometimes it's hard to not be French you know 😊
What is that saying? "We are a product of our environment"... Some things simply can't be helped. However, awareness and a want to evoke change can often be something that propels us forward to making it happen, not only for ourselves but for the people we interact with. I attend fashion school in America and being critiqued is an essential part of learning and developing a new skill, but when the criticisms aren't backed up with positive reinforcement then the student can find it difficult to continue on to do better in the future. As somwone who is at the top of my class I am often asked to provide in depth critiques and peer reviews. A rule that I try to follow is to find at least one thing that is working well and comment on it leaving any sort of negative feedback out, but offering an idea for the person to think on instead. For example when I critique for my figure drawing class if someone has rendered a fleece, or something that should feel really soft and textured, with a flat color that winds up looking very flat and stiff, but the color is spot on, I would let them know that the coloring is great and challenge them to use multiple tools on the next try to really bring out the texture of the garment as well as the color. Then I find something that is in need of work and offer solutions that could be benificial to consider. Such as the balance and proportion of a fashion figure being incorrect. I would then help them to understand what they did wrong and how to correct the problem so that they can implement the solution in the next assignemnt. Anyway, just an idea of one way you might be able impliment what we call constructive criticism into your classroom so your students might feel more encouraged instead of berated. (clearly I am not in your classroom so I don't know anything in that regard, but if I didn't ever have positive feedback to help me cope with the things I need to fix I would have given up long ago)
Friendly speaker but a lot of generalizations. She is more negative than the « French people» she is describing as « negative ». I am American... and I admit humbly I don’t find any traits of characters she is criticizing among my French friends... maybe, she should move back to New Zealand, a country so much friendly.... and where she fits so well.... you don’t critique a culture when you live in a country which is hosting you.. she should apologize.
@@martineguerret-robertson3532 Agree with you Martine You react like French people ty. ..."you don't critique a culture when you live in a country which is hosting you... she should apologize"... 👍💛 This is understood in all countries !
OMG! From my limited experience, you have expertly, and eloquently articulated my generalized reflection on some french cultural norms. And, I too, am a huge francophile, and love all things french. So, in my humble opinion, you nail this video with truth and love! Keep up the great videos! I love your channel👏👏
So funny. I had a French boyfriend before (I'm Japanese). I wanted to have soup for breakfast. It led to a huge fight. He couldn't accept that I wanted to eat something savoury in the morning. It was outrageous 😲
@@johnchap8719 I will agree... although, do bear in mind that until late 19th century (at least in Europe), soup was what country folks and town factory workers had for breakfast. Coffee was more like middle and upper class!
Omg... The French Open Website to enter my birthrate I had to scroll back from today's date all the way to Nov 1965 month by month... there was no way to jump back 53 years.
Hi Rosie! hope you're well. Video is spot on as usual, I can say from having lived over 30 years in France. I can't tell you the number of people who've asked me (as a Brit) "How do you say "se méfier" (be wary of, distrust) in English! The "not offering information" and " no news is good news" for feedback I also completely agree with, having worked in a multinational sector. It was tough for a lot of other cultures who found the French "very cold and unaccessible". One thing you didn't mention, which I feel is difficult for the French, is decision-making. I think it's linked to the fear of getting it wrong. It takes soooo long for action to be taken. There's so much talking, analysing etc...and when the decision is finally taken, hard to know who takes ownership, who's accountable (but I don't think "accountable" exists in French)
We learned our lesson with apartment trust... some propriotaires are the worst ! It feels like bad repetitive patterns have caused this lack of trust and in turn has created more rules for everything!
@@NotEvenFrench it took us years to figure it out but now we don't even notice it anymore 🤷♀️🤷♀️ and we've even become less trusting... just the way it is!
Well this likely stems from the absolute loss that occurs when people don't pay their rents, newspaper and things I've heard people tell me are horrifying stories of people not paying their rents and taking 3 years to evict them, never recovering any money from that and putting their investment at a huge loss, so landlords are terrified of this happening and want the perfect tenant, I can't blame them.
I think some of the negativity about France comes from the situation that's developed over the last 40 years. Older French friends tell me that the 30 year period after the 2nd World War was one of optimism, so much that it's now called the "30 Glorieuse". Unemployment was very low and a working class family could buy their own home and a car. Even in Paris, one of my friend's grandfather was a housepainter and could still afford to buy himself a 3 bedroom apartment in the 18e arrondissement. This has all disappeared. Unemployment almost never goes below 9%, meaning there is a permanent underclass and social mobility seems less attainable. Housing in all the major cities has become very difficult to access, Paris being the most ridiculous example where apartments in broken down, old buildings still sell at 11k euros per square meter. I feel like for a lot of normal French people a sense of possibility about the future has disappeared and been replaced with fatalism and pessimism.
So accurate!!! Here's another one: getting anything done without an in-person meeting. Administrators can't just tell you beforehand everything they'll need or that you need to do. They always need to see you in person. And you're never prepared because you don't know what you need.
That's because if they don't want to say things in writing. Things in writing could be used as proof. Things said orally cannot be proved,, he/she can say you misunderstood. Remember: risk avoidance, don't risk being blamed.
As a french person I admit that most of these are true especially for people living in Paris. I feel like the trust issues are mostly due to the education system and the media who portais lots of things as scary and make us things we have to be aware of dangers at any time. I wish we had more positivity especially during school that would really help. Couldn’t agree more about what you said about mental health.
Can't agree more, based in France for a while now, and I am really having a hard time getting people's trust especially at work. Another interesting aspect is the critics, I wasn't very comfortable with it at the begging but now I would be relieved when I hear ( il y a rien à dire) which is counted as a big compliment here lol.
I have worked for 15 years in an International bank in Chicago... most of the staff during my last years consisted of US citizens... there was a lot of hypocrisy going on, just to please the boss... people are people. I traveled twice in Russia with people from New Zealand... I was not very impressed by their so called cheerfulness.... and surprised by their lack of knowledge on « Russia », they didn’t prepare their trips... one of them was talking to me in the middle of the Kremlin about « his huge yacht » for which I could care less. Everything was perfect in New Zealand... however, it seems to me when you are in the Kremlin you listen to your guide... people are people... I admit the French are far away to be perfect but so are the people of other nationalities. Enjoy the moment, and talk about the positive sides of the people. If, you don’t like it just move on... forget the French people and talk about the beauty of Nature... France has so much to offer. Parisians do not represent the “French”.... like New Yorkers, Londoners, etc.... they are minorities in their own country. It seems the host of this video has not traveled much in France and is just obsessed with « Parisians »....
@@martineguerret-robertson3532 Absolutely, imagine if we French people did a video about how New Zealanders are, like this then like that, they would say oh well I’m ok with it but I’m sure they couldn’t stand it! Nobody’s perfect and French people never claimed they were. At least I can guarantee as you said that we aren’t in our vast majority hypocrites as very often saw abroad...
About the not sharing of personal information, that's because it's something we usually only do with people we're close to or consider as friends. People we work with, even for years, aren't automatically friends nor do they even have to. As a default setting, we tend to consider that until personal contact has been established, it's none of their business. I know many people who actually consider it pushy, intrusive or downright rude to be told about your life without having shown interest for it. In a way we're kinda like cats, you can't force us to like you. As for "positive criticism", that's something that's considered inefficient since complimenting someone about having done something they already knew how to do is very unlikely to push them to improve themselves or learn to do more. What we definitely suck at is providing the right amount of criticism in the proper manner, or at the right time. We do suck at hiding we're not as good as we pretend to be despite parading around like peacocks, but that's almost a quality since you quickly know who you're dealing with. Rags to riches aren't exactly a thing because we're not that into fairytales, for a few to succeed, many will fail. Believing everyone can succeed if they work hard is a lot like wishful thinking to many. But one thing is true, yeah, we're really good at envying people, even when they've earned their success. I'm not entirely sure we're the only ones though. One funny thing about stereotypes is that since I'm alsatian people stick both french and german stereotypes on me. One last thing I'd like to mention is that living in Paris or in Ile de France in general is not really representative of life in France. There are some things that don't change, but Paris is almost a country in itself with what we call the "microcosme parisien".
As an expat living in France I totally agree about mental health not being taken seriously. I had a full on panic attack at a metro station and when I explained that to an RATP worker that approached me, they completely invalidated my condition saying that everyone has anxiety. I tried explaining that I litterally have to take medicine for it, but they just didn't understand.
Hello! As a French person, I just love having your feedback on French people and culture. Most of the time it’s just super accurate. I’m glad I got to grow up knowing anglo-saxon people though. It made me even more open-minded. Yes, French administration... No matter what it is about it’s an absolute nightmare! 😅 OMG I had no idea you could gain and cumulate points by simply using your credit card. That’s totally awesome!! Now, to every French person watching this video : I understand the satisfaction of being right, but if you’re wrong it’s ok as well. Just admit it, I promise you’re not gonna die from it 😂 Oh about « Lu et approuvé » it’s legally completely useless. The only thing it can be used for is a writing expertise in case the signature’s authenticity is questioned. :) Thank you for the video, it’s always a pleasure 🤗 Have a wonderful day!
Hello Rosie, I persuated my French husband to change the breakfast and some of other eating habits and guess what, he lost "I will not tell you how much but quite a lot" of kg. However it took my 2 years to make him do it! Oh, and by the way, I start to have alegie when I hear "pas mal"! Thank you for great video and greetings from Czech Republic!
For the negative feedback, I feel that it's because it's our way to show that we care about you. Like, I mostly say "yeah that's great" to someone I really don't care about, but I will want my friends/coworkers to improve again and again to be their best selves so I will do them a favor by pointing to them what they can improve exactly. If you're doing a bad job, I will not sugarcoat you because if I do you'll never improve
I feel like signing "lu et approuvé" on a contract is just to really prevent someone from denying that they truly consented to the contract after the fact. Like not only did you sign it, but you also literally said that you read and approved it.
Our "lu et approuvé" is literally the ancestor of the Captcha and proving you're not a robot online when you want to access website or sign up for something haha ^_^
I think we do that so that the person who signed 100% cant complain about "Oh but i didn't see this!" or "No, i don't agree with that" because you litterally wrote the opposite so basically i think its so cant go back by any mean
avant de signer un contrat ; on le lis ! et si on est d'accord ; on le signe . donc Lu et approuvé apposition de la signature . si on le conteste on signe pas . car après il n'y a plus de recours
i think that's also to prevent illiterate people from signing stuff without well... reading it. nowadays it's probably more to protect people who don't speak french. you can try to write something in a foreign language but that may trun out somewhat clunky.
Hey ! I can explain to you the "Lu et approuvé " + signature process. This has 2 separate functions. The signature is a proof of your identity. The "Lu et approuvé" is a proof of your consent. It's 2 different things :)
In the US the signature is evidence of both but it is not necessarily proof of either since both could be questioned by evidence to the contrary. As an American lawyer, writing a phrase like “read and approved” seems redundant and old fashioned to me and it seems to sound like that to Rosie too. We still have some archaic writing in law ourselves, but is seen as a sign of a lazy lawyer. A good lawyer will write documents that are free of unnecessary verbiage like this example. Hacks will decorate their language into oblivion and obfuscation.
So true, Rosie ! I feel sad about the points you explained but I must admit you're right. It must be difficult for many to survive under such (French) conditions, as compared to what is done elsewhere. I hate it especially when people do not admit their mistakes or faults because then there's no hope for fixing anything... About the French using nicknames or avatars on the internet instead of their real name, I think this has a lot to do with "social fear" -- on the internet I don't use my I.D. names either because I feel more free to be myself without the neighbours, my coworkers (etc) judging me & making bad comments and gossiping. If I used my real name I would feel awkward and kind of "naked" (which would be quite uncomfortable) or otherwise things would turn into something "official" and not so sincere... As being sincere is my nber one reason for being here, I use another name than mine! Otherwise there are people using their real name...but all their page is blank, you access nothing unless you belong to their list of contacts & friends. My accounts are in large part accessible, I don't feel "closed" to others -- only protecting myself a little bit. And I might change my point of view some day, if new events occur and...who knows? You're quite right to point out that French managers "forget" to thank people when they're satisfied with their work, they tend to talk to people only when there's something wrong 😑 and this kind of behaviour tends to expand in society in general..."j'ai quelque chose à te dire" anounces some bad news, be it at work or at home, in our family or with friends all the same (what a mess 🙄 when I think of it). I feel sorry for my fellow citizens and for our guests... Lots of thanks for your videos, always fresh, interesting and lively; I enjoy them very much. Awaiting your next talk, my best wishes to you Rosie 🌸
Thank you so much, your video is really mind-opening. As a French, i agree to what you pointed and i never noticed it before. Why on earth do we need to be that way? Especially the "no positive feedback", "criticizing everything"… It's like we don't want to feel good. I'm gonna pay attention to this in the future.
This IS SO on point! Especially the point on Social mobility. Something I am currently identifying myself with. And also the reason why I’m starting the steps to move my family to the US. Because in France this subject is just bogus.
Thank you for another interesting video! I'm actually starting to wonder (yes, it occurs to me only now after watching almost all of your previous videos ;)) to what extent the things you are observing are typically French and which ones are just... European? E.g., celebrating the rags to riches doesn't strike me as something being done in the UK either and the perception of feedback being an opportunity to share "constructive criticism" def sounds like something I came across working with many managers coming from different European countries. I 100% agree with the notion of cultural differences caused by whether the society was built predominantly on the protestant or catholic values - it strikes me every time!
Thank you for sharing this focus about the mental health issue funding in our country. That is 100% accurate. Sometimes only external critic are take into account because nowadays everything tends to revolve only around communication and public image. So thank you. ( It's not only to counter the fact french people can only criticise but not give any compliment ;) ) .
- it was, in the end, all too much for me - I'm much more of a "love your neighbor as yourself" (why not?) kind of guy, so after visiting france twice, and staying in the country and in paris, I cancelled my plans to buy french property, - I need to be around love and equality as much as possible
As a Quebecois I'd say that's simply being a father. (lol)
3 года назад+11
I relate to everything you say. There are two things that always surprises me: - About negative feedback and criticism: when I did my master, I couldn't understand why they have a 0 to 20 points grade system if the maximum qualification you can aspire is 18. If someone got 19, he/she was considered immortal and if someone got 20, he/she was a god. But the worst observations were made by my PhD supervisor. At the end I could only laugh sitting on my desk because they were full of sarcasm, irony but at the same time straightforward, precise and irrefutable, even in one or two sentences. - The second point, I name it "the absence of Plan B". In Latin America we are used to find by ourselves alternative non traditional solutions when things don't go as expected because the formal systems put in place usually don't work. That happens in economy, administration but also in domestic issues. If there is something which can get mad a French, that is if the things go wrong, specially if they don't go like he/she has carefully planned. There is just one option, the one he/she thought. There isn't any other solution. What make me laugh the most is that after having an existentialist crisis about the impossibility to find a solution the way he/she or the system wants, the French finally shows his/her Latin side and he/she will solve the problem bypassing the system.
@julialeite63 Please don't take that too seriously - the statement in the video was just raising my eyebrows as there are definitely less controversial breakfast options. I personally eat bacon only as a small extra on Sundays. To conclude in German: Alles in Maßen :)
Par rapport à la mobilité sociale, cela tient à l'histoire de la bourgeoisie. En France, le fait de gagner de l'argent est moins valorisé que dans la culture Anglo saxonne. Le fait de bien gagner sa vie n'est pas un seul critère de réussite... Quelqu'un qui part de rien et gagne extrêmement bien sa vie, le montre en achetant des grosses voitures etc... peut être perçu comme quelqu'un dont l'objectif principal est de faire de l'argent. C'est un peu différent, on s'intéresse aux valeurs prônée par l'individu etc... Par ex, quelqu'un qui a grandi ds une banlieue et est devenu réalisateur ou fait du cinéma, sera valorise et incarnera un modèle de réussite :)
Oui c'est même très mal vu. Le capitalisme et avoir comme seul but dans la vie de devenir riche n'est pas vu d'un très bon œil. Réussir à avoir une vie heureuse et épanouie dans la pauvreté est plus une réussite en France du moins dans la région où j'habite.
la première question qu'une femme française te pose c'est "Que fais-tu dans la vie ?" Elle veut dire : combien tu touches par mois. C'est du matérialisme, ça n'a rien avoir avec les valeurs. Les français ont tendance à parler des français des livres, des histoires issus de la littérature et non des français du quotidien. Comme ces français qui pour se valoriser, te disent : Nous les français avons inventé ceci , cela, etc" Or l'interlocuteur n'a rien inventé, il est peut être un raté de l'école, il n'a meme pas eu le BAC. Il parle des gens qui representent meme pas quelques milliers ( d'inventeurs), alors que 60 millions de français n'ont rien inventé.
You are always so right!! That makes me laugh because you put into words what I feel every day in Australia. I had to learn give positive feedback, now I make a point saying to my team nice stuff when I am proud of them and that they do a good job, I learnt that from my English managers, I love that in Australia, it is refreshing 😊
Kia ora Rosie, this was a great watch, living here in france as a Kiwi it was easy to relate to what you were saying, I would just add that I think the French mums here are incredibly positive and encouraging with their own kids from birth until they get a bit older, I also find that the French mum's that I've met who are already in a social click like Catholic mums, homeschooling mums, and your local school mums are really normal, friendly and just as open and down to earth as ppl in these same groups back in NZ:)
Great video! I like that these were all based on truly experiencing and living in the French culture, and not just surface level. I agree with every single one and forwarded this to my partner, as the French negativity hasn't treated him well in life and I really want him to see that he's not fundamentally a "failure", but that his culture in particular makes him feel that way. Oh and here's something funny....he's currently enrolled in a DAEU program to earn his high school diploma, and his first essay assignment was to answer the following: "L'insatisfaction, c'est un défaut ou une qualité ?" 😅😅Is there anything more French? Relating to the last point you made about social mobility, yesterday in the supermarket here in the U.S. I overheard a woman in her 50s chatting with another customer about how she's planning to go back and finish college. She said something like, "I have 90 credits from X University and never finished my degree! It's time!" The women she was talking to cheered her on with something like, "Yeah, you definitely should!" I thought to myself right away, "Now that's an exchange I would NEVER hear in France."
Exactly !! I feel do the same way. I said "thank you" because my friend told me a news, and he said "thank you? For what?" "For telling me that news" and he said "oh" 😂😂😂😂
Hi ! As a former manager, I confirm the relative absence, in French companies, of a management by positive reinforcement. It's cultural, but I have also noticed that things have changed over the past ten years in many sectors (but unfortunately not everywhere).
I've worked in 2 French companies with French bosses and CEOs and I can approve the first thing :D Also, they really liked to say "aah, could be dangerous" if you wanted to change or implement something new and positive. It was so hard to expect something positive instead of a disaster for them. My first boss also said I was too positive and too much of a team working advocate. Cool, cool :D However good learning for me.
As a Dutch woman I really see that the French influence is really there and that is due to the occupation in the early 1800s. I see it in the language but also cultural. The new money thing is also considered as tacky and class cannot be bought. Love your videos! 👍🏻
Hi I'm your friendly french teacher neighbor poping in juste to adress the grading system here. It's true that we ofter note the mistakes more than the successes however, we don't view the grade starting at 20/20 and going down but rather going up from 0/20. Everything good is taken into account. I must say that the way we teach here as changed a lot and you won't find many teachers with such a negativ view on students anymore.
Really interesting! I really enjoyed learning more about French culture. I see some similarities to Chinese culture - I've heard people mention the cultural similarities between the two, and I see it in terms of your comments about complaints, websites, processes, secrecy, etc.
I agree, Rosie, with you 100%! I feel, you are my sister with a very similar point of view 👯♀️ And we both love France of course! But all those things can be annoying and bizzare, I agree! For me, there were 2 sad things while living in France. 1. I realized that French people like to say that our Polish scientist Maria Skłodowska-Curie was... French (she lived in France). Maybe because her husband was French?? and she was honored by Nobel prize, so it's good to be proud of? 2. When I was so happy to visit in Paris an exhibition of Polish wonderful painter Tamara Lempicka - I coudn't belive, they wrote she was Russian(!) We all know French people have special symphaty to Russia so they prefered to make her Russian rather than eccept the facts. I've heard also that even Polish Mikołaj Kopernik (Copernicus) was French! I saw posters in Paris "Our great people" I can't belive it!
Ebay. I'm British and live in France. If I need anything from Ebay I use the UK site. French Ebay sellers are amatuers, mostly, whereas in the UK they're mostly pros. That means they'll send your order straight away, rather than sittin on it for two weeks.
Just a thought but I think that's a specific case here. From a french point of view Ebay is a 2000s website and I was thinking that nobody still use it nowadays. So I guess french users on Ebay are just old people not really aware about online transactions and reactivity.
My French friend stopped using it, between that and Paypal, he was forever having trouble. Now he looks for stuff on the UJ site and one of us over here buys it for him and he sends us the money.
Moi en tant que Français , je dirais le contraire . il est vrai que les britanniques sont fort dans tous les domaines , ils transforment leur défaite en victoire , le coup de poignard de Ramsay dans le dos des français à Dunkerque les français des lâche :98 000 soldats français tués 87 000 allemands de mai à juin , 4500 britanniques alors que ce sont les britanniques qui ont déclarés la guerre a l'Allemagne vous avez fait croire au monde entier que les allemands sont arrivés en France "la fleur au fusil ", vous vous appropriez la victoire d'El-Alamein mais vous oubliez de dire que c'est grâce au soldats français de Bir-Hakeim que El Alamein a tenu . vous avez oubliez la racler des britanniques a Isandlwana contre les Zoulou , vous oubliez les Dardanelles . L' angleterre c'est approprié la victoire de Waterloo mais face aux armées de l'Empire français les anglais étaient battu ,c'est grâce aux manoeuvres de l'armée prussienne que les Français ont été battus la victoire revient à la Prusse. bien sûr comme d'habitude vous vous êtes appropriés une victoire . alors à Londre il y a Waterloo Street ; Trafalgars squares , mais bizarrement pas Dunkerque square , Isandlwana Street , Dardanelle Street .
Your points are so accurate and that's so interesting to have an outside eye on habits that we don't even notice anymore! We definitely have to improve a lot to become the perfection we seek ahah. Nice video!
But, wait a minute, why do you have to improve! You French do everything perfectly! :) Honestly, that attitude caused a breakup with my French boyfriend, who had many good qualities. I am perfectly willing to admit when I am wrong, but I was not ALWAYS wrong! He was not ALWAYS right! I grew weary of apologizing when he never would. I started to feel like I was abasing myself. I have to wonder, when French are married to each other, and both think they are always right - how does that work?
@@dm-gq5uj Maybe you broke up because you persisted in seeing 'cultural differences' in everything different between you and him. I've encountered people like this, who refused any individuality to their foreign partner and just reduced them to their culture.
@@Leopold_van_Aubel I try to see people as individuals. I thought it was just him - it wasn't until I saw this video that I learned it's a "French" trait. Of course, the French are not the only ones who think they are always right :)
Waiting in a line/queuing ...I’m posting this even before hearing your list. I wanna know if I predicted well hahaha. The issue of placing blame is sooo right on. They can also be very punitive in their attitudes as regards anyone who makes a mistake. God forbid make a mistake! The students I work with seem terrified of making a mistake. Your list, in general, seems completely in line with my experience in my 11 years of living here. You didn’t include the queuing issue. They really don’t like having to wait in line, especially the older generation. They seem to think nothing of cutting in line. Not true for everyone, obviously, but it is def a thing :0)
So true! 😂 I'm so agree with you about the impossibility to have a positive feedback! After years abroad it's really hard to be back in France and work with people who are just talking about what is not ok 😂😫 for the trust part, maybe it's more a parisian think? I grow up in a small village of 200 inhabitants and the house's door is never locked, you can pay later your groceries, people say hello to everyone in the street... Sometimes I think impossible in Paris 😄 thanks for sharing your opinions, it's always interesting 😊😊
I totally thought this was going to be something I have already heard before but everything you said made me want to scream Yessssss! Uuuuggghhh. Lol especially the bit about the “right way” to eat/ the rules around eating.
I am just in shock, how do people network in France ? how do they build a circle of influence? If people barely talk to each other and don't get to know each other.
Hi Rosie! Just discovered your channel and really loving it. I am French living abroad for many years and i totally agree with your "Suck at list" 😉. Regarding the lack of positive feedback, or constant critisizing atitude, this is also something that drives me crazy in French culture. However, i must say that for those who survive this type of negative reinforcment environment it does have two very usefull outcome in general: 1. It helps uncover bullshit or attractive but superficial ideas because those wont resist long the constant pounding of questionning that the criticising habit brings on. (Take the "pro-brexiter" arguments for instance). 2. It develops a very thick skin into those who overcome those critics. If your ideas can pass the french critics test, you can survive anywhere on the planet and you will never be surprised or discouraged anymore because you basically have heard and seen everything already. So of course for those who come from the "no judjmental / positive feedback" background, the contrast is very harsh right? But for us, confronting other ways of thinking is relatively easy. Even if, as you say, we may almost never admit our mistake ... = thats also a way of fighting the critics (its the art of rhetoric !). As France and NZ share the love of rugby, you can imagine this French habit as a rugby game! It takes a lot of fighting to bring your ideas to your opponent's side, but that's also what makes you strong ! However, i do agree it is not very forgiving or inclusive to people who are more sensitive or introvert, and thats something we need to improve on. Cheers! 😊
The pre buy check is super important when buying a house in France. It's bought as seen on the day you sign the AdV. I know someone who didn't do the checks on the day of signing and they found the sellers had removed all the kitchen units. Another found all the top soil removed from the garden!
Lol my French school's website looked the exact same as @12:00, I'm cracking up rn. They hyped up the school so much about how prestigious and modern it was but then you look at the website and it's from like 2001 and couldn't function- not saying that you can't be great while still having a lame website but often perception is reality. Lots of other organizations there as well have the same "Craigslist" early 2000's internet layout... Always found it strange because I feel like the French (maybe specifically Parisians) are quite critical about appearance and design (perhaps sometimes just to appear knowledgable) but when then you look at their outdated websites, you're left wondering how to take it seriously. Lived in Madrid as well and it was the same thing. Also literally all my french friends on IG have strange handles lol. Totally see what you mean Rosie!
Just a small info : Nouveau riche means a new rich person without manners ! A person who knows nothing about Etiquette and Culture. We are used to say : Live a good life is to live a hidden life. I most agreee with you for everything else. Tres bien.
Everything you say in the video is SO true. I think our culture is stuck and I don't know why we think the way we think. There is a HUGE identity issue at the core. French people I think, are very insecure, and don't know who they are. We are afraid of the unknown, and to be wrong. Identity issue. I don't think this can be changed easily, unless people travel and open themselves to change. Change is hard for us. More than anglo-saxon cultures which are more flexible for some reason.
I went on holiday with my extended French family,you know the type of thing,everything packed into a car,including the kitchen sink.the holiday passed off as frugally as possible,on our departure I decided to be very helpful, packing up the car with all the luggage.very pleased with my effort,all the doors actually closed.my wife's cousin arrives with a puzzled look on his face and precedes to empty the car and repack it.then we faced a six hour drive through Spain, where he insisted on not using the air conditioning because it cost too much,they don't really do holidays do they
I wish I would've found this video before living with a french girl during my study abroad experience in Spain. I could not understand why she was always complaining and highly critical but at the same time quite sensitive to criticism and unable to admit her wrongs. As an American raised in the south with southern hospitality and the American "can do" mentality I was puzzled. Somehow my positivity came across as dishonest to her? It was a hard situation to navigate. Towards the end of our living situation we were not on speaking terms. However I've been retroactively researching french culture and I think I understand her a little bit more now. Thanks for sharing and bridging the divide :)
Never realized our websites were bad but you clearly haven't seen Japanese ones lol I'd often rather go to a store or an office directly than having to go through online procedures! (French living in Japan)
Beeing a francophone german with experiences in working in a french organisation, I can agree on every single topic. But: with a german cultural background I could stand "open words" quite good. That sugar coating thing "Well done this and that, but..." coming from the anglo-saxon positivity attitude isn't my/our thing either. And dealing with the coconut type of people made me rather feel like beeing at home...😊😉
"Lu et Approuvé" does hold legal meaning, I think it is to ensure the person did read through the contract and therefore was not forced to sign something forgetfully or without carefully reading through
Interesting video, After living in France for 1 year in Bordeaux... the culture was a bit different from what you mentioned. (I guess the south is not the same as the north). One thing I will say though is I learned a couple of the ways of French people (an sometimes im identified as one in other places in the world though im American)... The biggest difference between the French and Americans is their ability to not be bothered, or care about what you are doing, they are fast and always in a rush to do things but I will agree mental health is accused socially as a "you problem" and should be fixed by you only. Something I found unerving but also relieving was the French ability to be direct/uncandid about how they felt. Generally the POV was not the most positive but when it was it was refreshing to be around people who didnt pretend. If someone was upset they would be upset and feel it, than it would pass and they would continue in life. I LOVED talking with French people and when I impressed one I felt a treat because it is not an easy thing to do. Remarks and improvements are always welcomed as long as its not mean. (I guess I dont need good feed back on what im doing because if Im doing good what is there more to say because good job, but if I WANT/NEED to improve on something get feedback is SOMETHING I find AMERICANS really are horrible at doing because they are afraid of hurting your feelings, so they would rather pretend till they melt down from it). Again maybe the south is different but your experience of french people and one are not the same. Yet people who live in Paris seem to share what you are saying.
For "Lu et approuvé" (read and approved), it's a way to check your handwriting and being sure that it's you that wrote that, and nobody else 😅 (Remind me my grand father's, he was borned in 1926, and at that time, in school, they forced him to do everything from the right hand, and so he was doing everything from his left hand except writing 😅 was pretty usefull during the 40-44 resistance ^^")
Hey. About keeping thinks secret, you are wrong. We, as French, do that because we consider that private life has to be taken away from profesional life. We feel angl-saxons are too intrusive on that topic.
I'm French, and I think you make very good points. I would say that the French are closer to Japanese or Korean people in that they are usually reserved and serious people. Having a bubbly smiling personality is seen as a bit childish. We're not loud in public. We don't do small talks because we find them meaningless. We love to talk about politics, world affairs, and culture instead. Critical thinking is very important. Complaining means you are smart! ;) We may be seen as cold or even rude people to strangers, specially for people coming from warm sociable cultures. It may be difficult at first to make friends. It's harder for French people to open up and bond with strangers, but once we do, we really value our relationships. In the American culture, I found relationships shallower and more insincere. The average American will have hundreds of "friends." In the French culture, you may have only 5 friends, but those bonds are solid, reliable, and will last a lifetime. Quality, not quantity mentality.
First thing I noticed about the French was: they suck at waiting in lines. The were a lot of French guests at a hotel in Tunesia, where we were on vacation. They never waited in a queue for the buffet or whatever, they just went at it all at the same time.
Haha this was a funny one. Some things surprised me though. For instance, I really like the idea that I could work with someone for 4 months and not have to know and especially not have to care to know anything about them. Lol. How terrible do I sound? Buuuuut yeah, I personally feel like running whenever I stand around with workmates and they start pulling out their phones to share photos of their daughters trying on wedding dresses or their kids potty training😂😂 ( I'm not mean, I promise) Also, what you mentioned about mental health in France shocked me. I think the fact that it's separated from general medical care instantly puts a barrier in place and immediately stigmatises the person who would be in need of emotional and psychological care. Lastly, from my very, very little experience of hanging out with French people, I can say that they all have one distinct quality in common and that is : they are fantastic conversationalists.
While I understand you not wanting to say French ppl suck at speaking English for the reasons you listed - I'd modify it just to say "French ppl suck at speaking any foreign languages." Outside of Paris that is. And I say it from a perspective of a person who speaks 4 languages at various levels, and is currently learning the 5th.
3 года назад
You do know us well! Everything you said sounds right to me. Must be part of our irritating charm though! 🤣
As an American I would like to know: 1. Where are these mythical jobs that give positive feedback 2. Landlords that don’t try to screw you out of every dime of your deposit when you move out 3. People that don’t make their mistakes everybody else’s fault 4. And keeping secrets Come to think of it almost everything you had a negative here describes my current workplace which is an American-based company it’s kind of strange
As an American living in France I agree with just about everything here. And after arguing if they lose they say “par contre or mais” it’s tough but now I just laugh. I actually find they talk a lot and really want to discuss about how I met my girlfriend, american gun laws and politics . Par contre… they love my positivity and energy cause people here can be quite pessimistic about everything.
Things have improved: when I lived in Paris in 1972 and bought a car, I had to hand-write "lu et approuve, bon pour commande" as well as signing the form to order the car.
Hey good video :) I am french living in Ireland and I do admit we have quite an issue with saying "ok my bad", it is just in France you really have to explain that your intension were not bad otherwise you really get punish hard. If you take full responsablitlity without a fight (or a defense) : either you will be punish harder for making an exemple, or you will be viewed as a failure. In general typical french we tend to apologize by starting with a "I am sorry" then go with the explanation of why we did it (to defend ourselves of this failure thing or the punishment I guess). That been said, in True Friendship, we can really being honest and say the "I am sorry, I fucked up" but this involve a level of "true friendship" and very huge trust.
3 года назад+1
Mental health care has been destroyed through the last 30 years. We used to have one of the best tradition in psychiatry. Family doctors do their best but are rarely 100% relevant despite of anti depressors prescription and benzodiazépines. Interesting to see you noticed that.
I'm amazed how Switzerland (where I'm from) is similar to New Zealand in so many points ! No wonder the swiss dairy brand "Heidi" (I kid you not) even went that far to NZ to shoot one of their commercials ! The reason ? The mountains there were even "swisser" looking than the Swiss Alps ahaha !
I wish we had a more positive attitude in France, I only had a couple* of positive feedbacks in my entire life here, it kinda came frome nowhere but felt really good. I think French people tend to congratulate themselves, they think they're the best in the world without really comparing what other countries actually do better, anyway... *to be honest I just can clearly remember one, I think the other was ruined later 😅
Well I think it's the opposite in politics everyone is always talking of how good they're doing something elsewhere (Germany lol) but never about what we do well
I'm not French, but although they eat sugar, their food habits are very nice. They eat A LOT of vegetables and other good things... Anxious to moove to Paris next year! Any advice to find a job?
@@eunosnurb4123 I'm open to lot of things, today i'm working in Customer support but I have a degree in education and I'm studying digital marketing! So..looks promising?
@@martinabevi I think so, these aren't sectors too affected by the current crisis. Maybe take a look at the big international companies or the headhunters on Linkedin. Otherwise an international school...? On the other hand, if you don't speak French, it will be difficult to target more local businesses. Try to learn the language as much as possible. Finally, be careful: In Paris, if you don't have a big salary, you will have to choose a very small appartement, a flatsharing, or live in the suburbs: more or less nice, more or less well served by transport... Where do you come from ?
@@eunosnurb4123 I'm from Brazil, I'm up to live in small places ... I did my research in this part and we attually move to a smaller house last year :) I'm going with my husband and I have Italian Citizenship. I'm learning French every single day - but i'm sure that be fluent is hard and it takes some time...
@@martinabevi Of course it takes time, it's just good to come with a good foundation. You will improve on the spot afterwards. Brazil is a beautiful country. Hope you will enjoy living in France. 😉
"Lu et approuvé" is actually not legally binding... Despite what many administrations would say (and despite what may be written in the contract) "Lu et approuvé" has no legal value... But in many situations "they" still demand you to write it down. Your signature (and sometimes the date) is the only legal binding.
Your videos are always super instructive about my own culture !! All of your examples given, I always try to analyze the way I behave at work, if I give positive feedback, or if i always complain about everything.... and I must admit that I must be a terrible coworker hahaha
I used to be that French boss who wouldn't share about her personal life at work :) I think it's because friendship is sacred to the French, you don't take it lightly. We like to separate business and private life because you might have to criticize, evaluate or even fire employees, so it would be awkward to share a relationship with them that is too personal. We use the vouvoiement to signify that polite distance. Anglo saxons are better with casual relationships - they can be very friendly one day and fire you the next. To a French person that would be a deep betrayal, so we avoid that intimacy in the first place.
@@jazmine9570 I've heard many Americans refer to their coworkers as "friends" though...
@@mgparis But they don't know what a real friend is... I can call my friends at 03:00 AM, they will pick-up the phone and won't start by insulting me: they'll ask (with anxiety) what happened to me... Because I wouldn't call them at this time without a critical reason to do so. I was also called during night: once because a friend crashed his car on a cement block while coming back home with his wife, the second because a (female) friend was locked at home, about to be raped by a guy we both knew who was trying to break her door.
In both cases, they KNEW that I'll be there, and even faster than the emergency services - for the little story, we pushed the car out of the road and I took them back to emergencies for a check-up, and the rapist apprentice guy was picked up on the pavement by emergencies - 30 minutes after I met him - for a concussion and several injuries while I was explaining to a skeptical police officer that "he simply had fallen down the stairs"...
For a French, you can loan money to a friend - even big amounts. You can leave your children, even a toddler, at your friend's home for a night, a day, a week, whatever. You know their medical issues. You know their income. You often have the spare key of their house/car. You tell them hard things sometimes when they behave badly. You tell them even intimate problems when you're seeking for advice - or just a shoulder. You will take a day off (or more!) to help them move instead of be available only ONE day of ONE week-end. And so on...
Most of us trust friends WAY more than our close family, even parents and siblings, because we CHOSE our friends while our family has been IMPOSED on us.
I even have a copy of all critical papers of one of them - he don't trust having these copies in his house, he's more confident in mine - so in case of problem, I can give him back a copy of his ID card, social security registration, passport, bank informations, marriage certificate, birth certificate, and for him, his wife and all his kids... I can easily put him in abysmal debts or in jail, because I can do identity theft without ANY problem, but of course, and with good reasons for, he trust me to not misuse these. The same friend had lent me, at one time, the equivalent of SIX MONTHS of HIS income because I was in a difficult situation...
I often put my wallet in my female friend's purse when I was with her in town - like I would do with my own wife. She even often knew my credit card's PIN number. I had all her kids in my arms few HOURS after their birth - even before the kids grandparents themselves.
It's more than trust: it's the fact you consider your friends as trustfully as yourself - and sometimes even more: I remember one of them asking me to keep his checkbook and credit card because he was under buying fever at this time...
Think about it twice: do you think these Americans trust enough their own family to do the same? Or their colleagues? Probably not - or they are EXTREMELY naives. So these colleagues are not friends, not like a French understand this term - we use the word "copain/copine" or "pote" ("buddy", "pal") to distinguish friendly relatives which are NOT "real" friends...
French uses the terms "inconnu/étranger" ("unknown"), "connaissance" ("acquaintance"), "collègue" ("colleague"), "copain/pote" ("buddy"), "ami" ("friend"). The last one is a very difficult step to reach, we're used to say that you can count your "real" friends on a single hand. I have two (three with one's wife), and I already have more friends than most people.
@@mac_lak Généralement le vrais copain , il n'y en a que 1 et nous sommes copains depuis plus de 35 ans . mon épouse et sa vraie copine se connaissent depuis 43 ans
@@ybreton6593 C'est pour ça que je n'utilise pas le terme "copain" mais bien "ami", pour ce genre de relation "à vie".
Pour ma part, j'en ai deux, et je sais que je suis bien plus "riche" que beaucoup à ce niveau... Beaucoup n'en ont pas un seul.
@@mac_lak C'est certain
We're not that bad at admitting when we're wrong... We're just NEVER wrong :p
The French sounds so much like the Germans.
I've heard this one before
@Amalia Lopez-Pappademos it sounds ironic. Just saying...
I knew another one: "We, the French, are not arrogant. We are just the best in the world!"
it cracks me up 😂 So true!
I'm French and I think you are right about a lot of things in this video. Except for one thing, the fact that people at work do not share personnal information is not because we love secrecy, it's because we do not consider the people we work with like friends. We do not always want them to think they are a part of our personnal life. That doesn't mean that we cannot make friends with people at work but we like to separate business and private life!
Same!
I think that's a great way to be - when I worked in an office and also when I was younger, I worked in a fashion store and in both places the other employees were asking me about my personal life, all kinds of stuff and I found it really intrusive. I liked them as colleagues, but had no wish to become friends.
Tu peux avoir des amis qui sont des collègues à l'origine. Après le monde du travail peut être si conflictuel facilement et la confiance étant limitée envers l'autre, je pense que beaucoup ne prennent pas de risques. Perso, je peux être comme un livre ouvert... mais je sais que certaines personnes peuvent profiter de cette façon d'être.
This is a good thing
Ça il faut reconnaitre qu'ils ont du mal à le comprendre. Eux s'appellent tous par leurs prénoms comme s'ils se connaissaient depuis toujours mais ce n'est qu'une façade, c'est tout à fait superficiel
I am not French, but would totally feel at home in France. I absolutely love the more reserved and disciplined approach French people have and am tired of the fake positivity and sloppiness in North America in general. Vive la France!
There is downsides however. The most common one is a very pessimistic approach of EVERYTHING, and sincerely, not everyone can handle it. My wife is Indian, and it was extremely depressing for her during the first years in France... It took her near FIVE years to be used to that and I was extremely anxious for her first postpartum depression, but hopefully, once out of this baby blues, she was handling it way better.
But if you can handle it, you'll see the upsides, in particular enjoying a LOT more your personal life, at home, with your spouse and kids. Typical French people feel well at home and don't need to get out constantly - one big exception are Paris inhabitants, who will tell you that nothing compares to Paris and that it's the only "good" town in France, while being out of their 20 m² appartment constantly, and out of the town EVERY week-end and vacation... Paradoxical behavior...
At the same time, in Toulouse, I spent ALL my vacations at home, where I enjoy being with my wife and my kids, and it's always a real, painful chore to travel anywhere for even few days. We simply feel well at home, in a peaceful and comfortable environment. I prefer to put 1000€ in my house rather than on a plane ticket or a hotel bill.
French people are more direct. We don't like hypocrisy 😉
@@henriradolanirina9157 Mdrrr
-Ça va ?
-Ça va et toi ?
La réponse qu'on donne tout le temps même quand ce n'est pas vrai. Nous sommes hypocrites dans les 5 premières secondes de la conversation
@@DogMakingSausage Un réflexe d'auto-defense 😂😂😂😉
@@henriradolanirina9157 C'est vrai 😂
I worked at an international school in Europe. I remember realizing that many of our student's families from New York had zero trust in anything or anybody. I would have to spend way more time reassuring them about everything compared to Americans from other states. As an American who wasn't from New York, I was annoyed and saddened to see how little faith they had in humanity! I'm not a naive optimist, but I could easily see how big city life drove people nuts.
The city makes poeple nervous, stressed etc... we live in flat building like in a big box. It,s not natural or human . I live in such building and i m fed up . i remember living in the french countryside and more happy
si nous croyons dans l'humanité , mais nous n'avon aucune confiance envers les anglo-saxons je dis bien en générale . car j'avais un grand amis , qui était chef pilote au port de New-York . nous les avons reçu chez nous en France et vis-versa , avant de partir vers d'autres horizons , il a demandé pour que l'on se voit mon épouse et moi étions là pour l'accompagner dans sa dernière demeure .
I agree the whole time I’m thinking it would be the same in NYC or any other large American city. I live in Ct about 2 hrs away from NYC and the honor system is used all the time with little issues
I found your channel a few weeks ago(54 days ago, according to Duolingo, found the same day I started learning French) so, hello from Texas! I found a guy from France whom is helping me with my French, and I'm helping him with his English, and every time I praise him for getting a word correct, he goes "But...?" and I'm like "No buts, you did great," and he's like "Oh." Then spends ten minutes criticizing me for my pronunciation. But, that's what he's there for, to help me get better. If I'm doing something wrong, I want to know.
Edit: I've graduated to "that was perfect, keep it up" So don't mind me, I'm just super excited.
This french guy could be me, and this is so sad I want to cry.
@@NotEvenFrench well, it goes both ways. I learned German in 6 months mainly because people were telling me what did I say wrong and how to do it correctly. After more than 6 years in Canada, my English still is not as good as my German, because no one corrects my mistakes.
@@MsRumex That's interesting. As an anglophone Canadian I think the English language isn't closely tied to people's national identity. Perhaps we feel less protective of it compared to other places and languages. There's a bit of a mentality that what matters is both parties understanding what's being said, unless the person welcomes correction. Maybe it reflects general ideas about criticism here, too?
@@MsRumex As a Canadian, I can totally understand why. It would be considered super impolite for me to point out your mistakes. Even if we were close friends and you asked me to, I would find it difficult to overcome my cultural conditioning (although I'm slowly getting better at helping my Japanese husband).
Definitely agree with the glass example:
my grandparents (french and Congolese) did this to me while doing dishes I stacking them 'wrongly' so they fell, and it was my fault, not just you know an accident of gravity.
Compare that to
My Scottish friend who accidentally knocked down a wine glass that was on the floor (where I put it), felt super sorry about it, and bought me a nice set of wineglasses to make up for it. Definitely surprised me when he gave it at our next dinner together as I had forgotten about the incident.
The hard truth about us, french people, is so funny to hear from your perspective.👍. And it needs to be heard so thank you for doing it with genuine benevolence and...Louder for the people in the back ! 😁
NON ARRÊTE !!! T'as oublié faut pas avouer des torts !!!!
@@noefillon1749 Mais est-il vraiment un vrai français, ou juste un troll venu faire du french bashing ?
@@palupalu5647 faire des critiques c'est as du french bashing quand on voit les vidéos de rosie c'est évident qu'elle fait ses critiques sans mauvaises intentions.
@@noefillon1749 😂
@@Anelkia c'était du 2d degré hein de la part de @Palu Palu
I'm French, and I can certify that the content of this video is absolutely true!
nope
French here too, and agree 100%
(I had to move abroad to realize it!)
@@chantreazur7921 Have you ever lived abroad?
@@Christine-te4mr I lived for free years in Haïti.
I don't agree with everything she says, but some of it is true. I especially agree with management when she speaks about the fact that it's always negative and I do think it's toxic.
But at the same time I don't think our way of being critic is a bad thing in some stage. I work abroad since 6 years (Ireland to be exact), and I realised that in the workplace people tend to be positive and say yes to almost everything whereas we would tend to be very critic but only for the sake of making the conversation going, or make sure what needs to be achieved is good from thr begining rather than just put it under the rug and come back later and day "oh yeah this is wrong". This happens a lot in my workplace and I do always think I'm the only one who makes critics sometimes. However that doesn't mean we can't accept it. But I think it changes according to the people. I'm an expat and I think that maybe makes me more open minded and accept more easily critics but also because I make them.
I'm French and I agree with almost every category you put on that list! I think I'm not like that because I've spent a lot of time in the UK and with Anglo-Saxon people. I'm a teacher and I always write my feedback in two columns: the positive column (to make them know what was good/ excellent in their paper) and the tip column to get something better. My students love it and they generally say that I'm one of the only teachers to do that. I try to convince my students to stop using pencils for everything because to me it reinforces the fact that they're looking for a better, a more perfect answer to correct their ideas and I think it creates self-doubt and low self-esteem. The French education system is trying to get better at giving positive assessment and feedback but we have such a long way to go before being really positive! Anyways, I try to do my best but unfortunately, I think you're right on almost everything! Oh and btw: I stopped eating sweet food in the morning 20 years ago because I had problems with low blood sugar around 11 because of that so I've had remarks about that all my life. Plus I'm doing intermittent fasting now (which is way better for my metabolism) and to my French friends and family, I'm an alien!! The only category that I'm glad we are bad at is the category you mentioned about credit card (i guess you were refering to credit scores) because I think that system is so capitalistic that it's not going in the right direction with the ecological transition we should all be starting. the credit score system is encouraging people to buy more than they need and I think we should be heading towards minimalism not towards overconsumption in the future.
great balanced opinion. As a German, of course, I see a lot with different eyes. What I see again and again in France is the lack of interest in people who try to speak the national language. The Spaniards are very different and you often get to know people just by chatting with them in Spanish (with many errors).
@@irenemontero4678 I absolutely see what you mean! I've seen many French people correct foreigners in an almost compulsive way. I guess for most of them, it's not coming from the wrong place but they definitely need to quit that perfectionist mentality. Seriously, I'm French myself and I think this quest for perfection is getting old!
Yup, intermittent fasting is great and so is lowering carbs. I'm honestly shocked that french and Italians consider cake a good breakfast.
Hi Rosie ! ^^ Concerning your last point, the thing is that in Anglo-saxon countries, the way you promote people who succeded at something is very naive and is related to what is called the "survivor bias". A one-self-made-man society is a survivor biased society. When you have one Bill Gates who succeded, how many people failed and where left behind ? Sucess stories are interesting, inspiring but are they really relevant ? The problem is due to another bias called the "fundamental attribution error", concisting in considering that all the positive things that happen to us are because of us, forgetting completly about all the factors that rely on luck or chance or other people, factors you don't have any control on.
When you are a soldier under fire, the difference between the hero who came back and the war casualty who died with several bullets in his chest, considering they both had the same training, the same will to live and survive, is maybe a bit of talent but is above all... LUCK !
When you are Bill Gates, you have talent, of course ! But many others had talent too, maybe much more talent ! But did they lived in the right place ? Did they they have the same opportunities ? Did they met the same people ? Etc., etc., etc.. Success stories depend on so many factors, so random factors... Are these stories interesting, definitely ! Are they relevant ? Not really, just a bit !
In France, maybe we only see what's negative, but by paying more attention to the negative, we do care about those who were left behind because we think that improving the lives of the many is more relevant than paying unnecessary attention to those who had the luck to succed by themselves especially those with money. If we are to promote someone's example, it won't be about money, it will be more about humanist talents or skills that will benefits the many. That's why we prefer to promote people engaged in humanitarian actions, to promote associations, or artists, or scientists, etc.. and don't care about Bernard Arnault or Xavier Niel.
Amicalement.
There's pros and cons to both. But it explains why the Anglo world completely dominates today, and has outcompeted the French for the last 500 years.
@@shaungordon9737 yes, your are right : la loi du plus fort plutôt que l’humanisme
I think lots of what you describe can be summarized in the word "fatalism". No need to give compliments, only give negative feedback because people will screw up eventually. Forget about climbing up the social ladder, it is impossible. Don't trust people, someone will take advantage of you anyway etc. It's all fatalistic.
Having worked with french people, the lack of positive feedback and the tendency to give very harsh criticism stuck with me for a long time. Especially in Paris, being a good manager seems to be something you do by making your team members feel bad about their work.
How then do teams, stay productively motivated, and positive, how does moral hold up????, it's crazy to me that they operate that way.
@@donny-crypto7615 they don't. I think it's a culture shock from someone who is not used to. as a french I see a lot of positive comments too and not so fatalist people,... rather realistic. hey ! we have ambitions too, maybe we just put the standards too high ^^
Hello from France ! I'm French but I totally agree with you! It's difficult to live in France when you're a very positive person like I am. They call you a dreamer. But I try to keep up and I take all the positive things of my country... but sometimes I feel very tired. It's a fight. I think it's because at school they always tell you about what's wrong and never what is right. At work it's the same. Mistakes are a part of the process and it's normal but in France you have to be perfect (arrogant?). I raised my children more like an "English culture living way" if it makes sense. And I hope one day things will be better. We have bad habits and sometimes I dream about a country more relax. Yes you're right 100 %. New Zealand seems to be a very nice country to me ! Thank you for this video 😄
nous ne sommes que des êtres humains et il est normal de faire des erreurs ; qui n'a jamais fait d'erreurs dans sa vie ? personne !
As someone from the American culture I don't feel there is anything wrong with being a dreamer and having a positive outlook on life. Dreaming can give us the drive to push for something better for ourselves and family instead of conatantly living in the negative with no hope for the future. That is not to say that your dreams don't have to be acompanied with action and hard work, because you can dream all you want but never have it come to fruition if you don't take action to make it happen. I would absoultely be considered a dreamer by the French, heck, I am considered a dreamer from American standards as well, but I have acomplished so many things and have begun to make a name for myself because I have dared to dream and be positive. ... I believe I am off topic now, but the point is, good for you daring to be positive and having hope for the future. Better yet, good for you passing that on to your children. Stay strong!
As an English teacher sometimes I really struggle to say something positive to my students. It is very frustrating to me because I want to tell them something positive but sometimes it's hard to not be French you know 😊
What is that saying? "We are a product of our environment"... Some things simply can't be helped. However, awareness and a want to evoke change can often be something that propels us forward to making it happen, not only for ourselves but for the people we interact with.
I attend fashion school in America and being critiqued is an essential part of learning and developing a new skill, but when the criticisms aren't backed up with positive reinforcement then the student can find it difficult to continue on to do better in the future. As somwone who is at the top of my class I am often asked to provide in depth critiques and peer reviews. A rule that I try to follow is to find at least one thing that is working well and comment on it leaving any sort of negative feedback out, but offering an idea for the person to think on instead. For example when I critique for my figure drawing class if someone has rendered a fleece, or something that should feel really soft and textured, with a flat color that winds up looking very flat and stiff, but the color is spot on, I would let them know that the coloring is great and challenge them to use multiple tools on the next try to really bring out the texture of the garment as well as the color.
Then I find something that is in need of work and offer solutions that could be benificial to consider. Such as the balance and proportion of a fashion figure being incorrect. I would then help them to understand what they did wrong and how to correct the problem so that they can implement the solution in the next assignemnt.
Anyway, just an idea of one way you might be able impliment what we call constructive criticism into your classroom so your students might feel more encouraged instead of berated. (clearly I am not in your classroom so I don't know anything in that regard, but if I didn't ever have positive feedback to help me cope with the things I need to fix I would have given up long ago)
@@reinana8441 it's true. I'm French too. I understand but this habit makes life so hard sometimes. I think that we (french people) need to relax. 😄
I learned a new word, 'argue until cows come home'=) I started learning English 28 years ago! Thank you Rosie!
Friendly speaker but a lot of generalizations. She is more negative than the « French people» she is describing as « negative ». I am American... and I admit humbly I don’t find any traits of characters she is criticizing among my French friends... maybe, she should move back to New Zealand, a country so much friendly.... and where she fits so well.... you don’t critique a culture when you live in a country which is hosting you.. she should apologize.
@@martineguerret-robertson3532
Agree with you Martine
You react like French people ty.
..."you don't critique a culture when you live in a country which is hosting you... she should apologize"...
👍💛
This is understood in all countries !
OMG! From my limited experience, you have expertly, and eloquently articulated my generalized reflection on some french cultural norms. And, I too, am a huge francophile, and love all things french. So, in my humble opinion, you nail this video with truth and love! Keep up the great videos! I love your channel👏👏
So funny. I had a French boyfriend before (I'm Japanese). I wanted to have soup for breakfast. It led to a huge fight. He couldn't accept that I wanted to eat something savoury in the morning. It was outrageous 😲
How arrogant are they that they think can dictate to other people what to eat...m
@@shaungordon9737 si nous parlions de l'arrogance des américains .dont la France et d'autre pays européens en font les frais
Outrageous to eat a soup for breakfast, I totally agree!
@@johnchap8719 I will agree... although, do bear in mind that until late 19th century (at least in Europe), soup was what country folks and town factory workers had for breakfast. Coffee was more like middle and upper class!
@@marie-claudeguegan3219 are you saying that this poor woman have the same habits than 19th century people in Europe? 😱
Omg... The French Open Website to enter my birthrate I had to scroll back from today's date all the way to Nov 1965 month by month... there was no way to jump back 53 years.
Everything is spot on. I couldn't agree more. I am married to a French man and face these challenges from time to time.
Hi Rosie! hope you're well. Video is spot on as usual, I can say from having lived over 30 years in France. I can't tell you the number of people who've asked me (as a Brit) "How do you say "se méfier" (be wary of, distrust) in English!
The "not offering information" and " no news is good news" for feedback I also completely agree with, having worked in a multinational sector. It was tough for a lot of other cultures who found the French "very cold and unaccessible". One thing you didn't mention, which I feel is difficult for the French, is decision-making. I think it's linked to the fear of getting it wrong. It takes soooo long for action to be taken. There's so much talking, analysing etc...and when the decision is finally taken, hard to know who takes ownership, who's accountable (but I don't think "accountable" exists in French)
We learned our lesson with apartment trust... some propriotaires are the worst ! It feels like bad repetitive patterns have caused this lack of trust and in turn has created more rules for everything!
@@NotEvenFrench it took us years to figure it out but now we don't even notice it anymore 🤷♀️🤷♀️ and we've even become less trusting... just the way it is!
Well this likely stems from the absolute loss that occurs when people don't pay their rents, newspaper and things I've heard people tell me are horrifying stories of people not paying their rents and taking 3 years to evict them, never recovering any money from that and putting their investment at a huge loss, so landlords are terrified of this happening and want the perfect tenant, I can't blame them.
10:17 As a French person I have to admit that I'm indeed skeptical about no sweet food in the morning 😅
"No sweet food in the morning..." What a joke ! :D
Sweet porridge is an option and is often more nutritiously dense
What about "sweet cereals" ?
And here, my French ancestry is going crazy over the fact that I am eating cinnamon toast for breakfast as I watch this! 😂
I think some of the negativity about France comes from the situation that's developed over the last 40 years. Older French friends tell me that the 30 year period after the 2nd World War was one of optimism, so much that it's now called the "30 Glorieuse". Unemployment was very low and a working class family could buy their own home and a car. Even in Paris, one of my friend's grandfather was a housepainter and could still afford to buy himself a 3 bedroom apartment in the 18e arrondissement. This has all disappeared. Unemployment almost never goes below 9%, meaning there is a permanent underclass and social mobility seems less attainable. Housing in all the major cities has become very difficult to access, Paris being the most ridiculous example where apartments in broken down, old buildings still sell at 11k euros per square meter. I feel like for a lot of normal French people a sense of possibility about the future has disappeared and been replaced with fatalism and pessimism.
I think its like that in a lot of places now
So accurate!!! Here's another one: getting anything done without an in-person meeting. Administrators can't just tell you beforehand everything they'll need or that you need to do. They always need to see you in person. And you're never prepared because you don't know what you need.
That's because if they don't want to say things in writing. Things in writing could be used as proof. Things said orally cannot be proved,, he/she can say you misunderstood. Remember: risk avoidance, don't risk being blamed.
As a french person I admit that most of these are true especially for people living in Paris. I feel like the trust issues are mostly due to the education system and the media who portais lots of things as scary and make us things we have to be aware of dangers at any time. I wish we had more positivity especially during school that would really help. Couldn’t agree more about what you said about mental health.
Thank you for sharing. Helps me understand.
Can't agree more, based in France for a while now, and I am really having a hard time getting people's trust especially at work. Another interesting aspect is the critics, I wasn't very comfortable with it at the begging but now I would be relieved when I hear ( il y a rien à dire) which is counted as a big compliment here lol.
I have worked for 15 years in an International bank in Chicago... most of the staff during my last years consisted of US citizens... there was a lot of hypocrisy going on, just to please the boss... people are people. I traveled twice in Russia with people from New Zealand... I was not very impressed by their so called cheerfulness.... and surprised by their lack of knowledge on « Russia », they didn’t prepare their trips... one of them was talking to me in the middle of the Kremlin about « his huge yacht » for which I could care less. Everything was perfect in New Zealand... however, it seems to me when you are in the Kremlin you listen to your guide... people are people... I admit the French are far away to be perfect but so are the people of other nationalities. Enjoy the moment, and talk about the positive sides of the people. If, you don’t like it just move on... forget the French people and talk about the beauty of Nature... France has so much to offer. Parisians do not represent the “French”.... like New Yorkers, Londoners, etc.... they are minorities in their own country. It seems the host of this video has not traveled much in France and is just obsessed with « Parisians »....
@@martineguerret-robertson3532 Absolutely, imagine if we French people did a video about how New Zealanders are, like this then like that, they would say oh well I’m ok with it but I’m sure they couldn’t stand it! Nobody’s perfect and French people never claimed they were. At least I can guarantee as you said that we aren’t in our vast majority hypocrites as very often saw abroad...
About the not sharing of personal information, that's because it's something we usually only do with people we're close to or consider as friends. People we work with, even for years, aren't automatically friends nor do they even have to. As a default setting, we tend to consider that until personal contact has been established, it's none of their business. I know many people who actually consider it pushy, intrusive or downright rude to be told about your life without having shown interest for it. In a way we're kinda like cats, you can't force us to like you.
As for "positive criticism", that's something that's considered inefficient since complimenting someone about having done something they already knew how to do is very unlikely to push them to improve themselves or learn to do more. What we definitely suck at is providing the right amount of criticism in the proper manner, or at the right time.
We do suck at hiding we're not as good as we pretend to be despite parading around like peacocks, but that's almost a quality since you quickly know who you're dealing with.
Rags to riches aren't exactly a thing because we're not that into fairytales, for a few to succeed, many will fail. Believing everyone can succeed if they work hard is a lot like wishful thinking to many. But one thing is true, yeah, we're really good at envying people, even when they've earned their success. I'm not entirely sure we're the only ones though.
One funny thing about stereotypes is that since I'm alsatian people stick both french and german stereotypes on me. One last thing I'd like to mention is that living in Paris or in Ile de France in general is not really representative of life in France. There are some things that don't change, but Paris is almost a country in itself with what we call the "microcosme parisien".
As an expat living in France I totally agree about mental health not being taken seriously. I had a full on panic attack at a metro station and when I explained that to an RATP worker that approached me, they completely invalidated my condition saying that everyone has anxiety. I tried explaining that I litterally have to take medicine for it, but they just didn't understand.
Seriously? Was the RATP employee a doctor?
Totally agree and love the rags to riches part. I've been reading "culture map" from your recommendations, take care, thanks for all!
et c'est une bonne chose de ne jamais donner trop d'importances à ces histoires d'argent. L'intelligence et la beauté avant
I am Brazilian and I am always delighted by the sound of French language. It's "toujours" sexy to my ears.
My boss is french. You are right about...pretty much everything.👍
Hello!
As a French person, I just love having your feedback on French people and culture. Most of the time it’s just super accurate. I’m glad I got to grow up knowing anglo-saxon people though. It made me even more open-minded.
Yes, French administration... No matter what it is about it’s an absolute nightmare! 😅
OMG I had no idea you could gain and cumulate points by simply using your credit card. That’s totally awesome!!
Now, to every French person watching this video : I understand the satisfaction of being right, but if you’re wrong it’s ok as well. Just admit it, I promise you’re not gonna die from it 😂
Oh about « Lu et approuvé » it’s legally completely useless. The only thing it can be used for is a writing expertise in case the signature’s authenticity is questioned. :)
Thank you for the video, it’s always a pleasure 🤗
Have a wonderful day!
Hello Rosie, I persuated my French husband to change the breakfast and some of other eating habits and guess what, he lost "I will not tell you how much but quite a lot" of kg. However it took my 2 years to make him do it!
Oh, and by the way, I start to have alegie when I hear "pas mal"!
Thank you for great video and greetings from Czech Republic!
For the negative feedback, I feel that it's because it's our way to show that we care about you. Like, I mostly say "yeah that's great" to someone I really don't care about, but I will want my friends/coworkers to improve again and again to be their best selves so I will do them a favor by pointing to them what they can improve exactly. If you're doing a bad job, I will not sugarcoat you because if I do you'll never improve
I feel like signing "lu et approuvé" on a contract is just to really prevent someone from denying that they truly consented to the contract after the fact. Like not only did you sign it, but you also literally said that you read and approved it.
Our "lu et approuvé" is literally the ancestor of the Captcha and proving you're not a robot online when you want to access website or sign up for something haha ^_^
I think we do that so that the person who signed 100% cant complain about "Oh but i didn't see this!" or "No, i don't agree with that" because you litterally wrote the opposite so basically i think its so cant go back by any mean
avant de signer un contrat ; on le lis ! et si on est d'accord ; on le signe . donc Lu et approuvé apposition de la signature . si on le conteste on signe pas . car après il n'y a plus de recours
i think that's also to prevent illiterate people from signing stuff without well... reading it. nowadays it's probably more to protect people who don't speak french. you can try to write something in a foreign language but that may trun out somewhat clunky.
@@ybreton6593 Du coup justement "lu et approuvé" ne sert pas à grand chose ...
En tout cas, c'est vraiment intéressant de découvrir le point de vue d'une NZ passionnant vraiment !
Hey ! I can explain to you the "Lu et approuvé " + signature process. This has 2 separate functions. The signature is a proof of your identity. The "Lu et approuvé" is a proof of your consent. It's 2 different things :)
In the US the signature is evidence of both but it is not necessarily proof of either since both could be questioned by evidence to the contrary.
As an American lawyer, writing a phrase like “read and approved” seems redundant and old fashioned to me and it seems to sound like that to Rosie too. We still have some archaic writing in law ourselves, but is seen as a sign of a lazy lawyer. A good lawyer will write documents that are free of unnecessary verbiage like this example. Hacks will decorate their language into oblivion and obfuscation.
So true, Rosie ! I feel sad about the points you explained but I must admit you're right. It must be difficult for many to survive under such (French) conditions, as compared to what is done elsewhere. I hate it especially when people do not admit their mistakes or faults because then there's no hope for fixing anything...
About the French using nicknames or avatars on the internet instead of their real name, I think this has a lot to do with "social fear" -- on the internet I don't use my I.D. names either because I feel more free to be myself without the neighbours, my coworkers (etc) judging me & making bad comments and gossiping. If I used my real name I would feel awkward and kind of "naked" (which would be quite uncomfortable) or otherwise things would turn into something "official" and not so sincere... As being sincere is my nber one reason for being here, I use another name than mine! Otherwise there are people using their real name...but all their page is blank, you access nothing unless you belong to their list of contacts & friends. My accounts are in large part accessible, I don't feel "closed" to others -- only protecting myself a little bit. And I might change my point of view some day, if new events occur and...who knows? You're quite right to point out that French managers "forget" to thank people when they're satisfied with their work, they tend to talk to people only when there's something wrong 😑 and this kind of behaviour tends to expand in society in general..."j'ai quelque chose à te dire" anounces some bad news, be it at work or at home, in our family or with friends all the same (what a mess 🙄 when I think of it). I feel sorry for my fellow citizens and for our guests... Lots of thanks for your videos, always fresh, interesting and lively; I enjoy them very much. Awaiting your next talk, my best wishes to you Rosie 🌸
Thank you so much, your video is really mind-opening. As a French, i agree to what you pointed and i never noticed it before. Why on earth do we need to be that way? Especially the "no positive feedback", "criticizing everything"… It's like we don't want to feel good. I'm gonna pay attention to this in the future.
This IS SO on point! Especially the point on Social mobility. Something I am currently identifying myself with. And also the reason why I’m starting the steps to move my family to the US. Because in France this subject is just bogus.
Thank you for another interesting video! I'm actually starting to wonder (yes, it occurs to me only now after watching almost all of your previous videos ;)) to what extent the things you are observing are typically French and which ones are just... European? E.g., celebrating the rags to riches doesn't strike me as something being done in the UK either and the perception of feedback being an opportunity to share "constructive criticism" def sounds like something I came across working with many managers coming from different European countries. I 100% agree with the notion of cultural differences caused by whether the society was built predominantly on the protestant or catholic values - it strikes me every time!
Thank you for sharing this focus about the mental health issue funding in our country. That is 100% accurate. Sometimes only external critic are take into account because nowadays everything tends to revolve only around communication and public image. So thank you. ( It's not only to counter the fact french people can only criticise but not give any compliment ;) ) .
- it was, in the end, all too much for me - I'm much more of a "love your neighbor as yourself" (why not?) kind of guy, so after visiting france twice, and staying in the country and in paris, I cancelled my plans to buy french property, - I need to be around love and equality as much as possible
My dad is French Canadian and I've heard him admit to being wrong maybe three times in my entire life. He never owns up to being wrong.
As a Quebecois I'd say that's simply being a father. (lol)
I relate to everything you say. There are two things that always surprises me:
- About negative feedback and criticism: when I did my master, I couldn't understand why they have a 0 to 20 points grade system if the maximum qualification you can aspire is 18. If someone got 19, he/she was considered immortal and if someone got 20, he/she was a god. But the worst observations were made by my PhD supervisor. At the end I could only laugh sitting on my desk because they were full of sarcasm, irony but at the same time straightforward, precise and irrefutable, even in one or two sentences.
- The second point, I name it "the absence of Plan B". In Latin America we are used to find by ourselves alternative non traditional solutions when things don't go as expected because the formal systems put in place usually don't work. That happens in economy, administration but also in domestic issues. If there is something which can get mad a French, that is if the things go wrong, specially if they don't go like he/she has carefully planned. There is just one option, the one he/she thought. There isn't any other solution. What make me laugh the most is that after having an existentialist crisis about the impossibility to find a solution the way he/she or the system wants, the French finally shows his/her Latin side and he/she will solve the problem bypassing the system.
Not sure if bacon is a healthy option either 😆
@julialeite63 Please don't take that too seriously - the statement in the video was just raising my eyebrows as there are definitely less controversial breakfast options. I personally eat bacon only as a small extra on Sundays. To conclude in German: Alles in Maßen :)
It's better than croissant or cake, which is just complete junk.
Par rapport à la mobilité sociale, cela tient à l'histoire de la bourgeoisie. En France, le fait de gagner de l'argent est moins valorisé que dans la culture Anglo saxonne. Le fait de bien gagner sa vie n'est pas un seul critère de réussite... Quelqu'un qui part de rien et gagne extrêmement bien sa vie, le montre en achetant des grosses voitures etc... peut être perçu comme quelqu'un dont l'objectif principal est de faire de l'argent. C'est un peu différent, on s'intéresse aux valeurs prônée par l'individu etc... Par ex, quelqu'un qui a grandi ds une banlieue et est devenu réalisateur ou fait du cinéma, sera valorise et incarnera un modèle de réussite :)
C'est exactement ça, très bien résumé. On célèbre aussi des parcours de réussite mais pas les mêmes que les anglo-saxons.
Oui c'est même très mal vu. Le capitalisme et avoir comme seul but dans la vie de devenir riche n'est pas vu d'un très bon œil. Réussir à avoir une vie heureuse et épanouie dans la pauvreté est plus une réussite en France du moins dans la région où j'habite.
la première question qu'une femme française te pose c'est "Que fais-tu dans la vie ?" Elle veut dire : combien tu touches par mois. C'est du matérialisme, ça n'a rien avoir avec les valeurs.
Les français ont tendance à parler des français des livres, des histoires issus de la littérature et non des français du quotidien.
Comme ces français qui pour se valoriser, te disent : Nous les français avons inventé ceci , cela, etc" Or l'interlocuteur n'a rien inventé, il est peut être un raté de l'école, il n'a meme pas eu le BAC. Il parle des gens qui representent meme pas quelques milliers ( d'inventeurs), alors que 60 millions de français n'ont rien inventé.
@@Le.dictateur.africain je n'avais jamais vu ça comme ça. Moi je demande ça parce que je m'intéresse à la personne.
@@Le.dictateur.africain c'est tellement vrai
You are always so right!! That makes me laugh because you put into words what I feel every day in Australia. I had to learn give positive feedback, now I make a point saying to my team nice stuff when I am proud of them and that they do a good job, I learnt that from my English managers, I love that in Australia, it is refreshing 😊
Kia ora Rosie, this was a great watch, living here in france as a Kiwi it was easy to relate to what you were saying, I would just add that I think the French mums here are incredibly positive and encouraging with their own kids from birth until they get a bit older, I also find that the French mum's that I've met who are already in a social click like Catholic mums, homeschooling mums, and your local school mums are really normal, friendly and just as open and down to earth as ppl in these same groups back in NZ:)
Great video! I like that these were all based on truly experiencing and living in the French culture, and not just surface level. I agree with every single one and forwarded this to my partner, as the French negativity hasn't treated him well in life and I really want him to see that he's not fundamentally a "failure", but that his culture in particular makes him feel that way. Oh and here's something funny....he's currently enrolled in a DAEU program to earn his high school diploma, and his first essay assignment was to answer the following: "L'insatisfaction, c'est un défaut ou une qualité ?" 😅😅Is there anything more French?
Relating to the last point you made about social mobility, yesterday in the supermarket here in the U.S. I overheard a woman in her 50s chatting with another customer about how she's planning to go back and finish college. She said something like, "I have 90 credits from X University and never finished my degree! It's time!" The women she was talking to cheered her on with something like, "Yeah, you definitely should!" I thought to myself right away, "Now that's an exchange I would NEVER hear in France."
Love that video 😻 I'm french and i can regnonize myself in most point. Good job!
Exactly !! I feel do the same way. I said "thank you" because my friend told me a news, and he said "thank you? For what?" "For telling me that news" and he said "oh" 😂😂😂😂
Hi !
As a former manager, I confirm the relative absence, in French companies, of a management by positive reinforcement. It's cultural, but I have also noticed that things have changed over the past ten years in many sectors (but unfortunately not everywhere).
I've worked in 2 French companies with French bosses and CEOs and I can approve the first thing :D Also, they really liked to say "aah, could be dangerous" if you wanted to change or implement something new and positive. It was so hard to expect something positive instead of a disaster for them. My first boss also said I was too positive and too much of a team working advocate. Cool, cool :D However good learning for me.
As a Dutch woman I really see that the French influence is really there and that is due to the occupation in the early 1800s. I see it in the language but also cultural. The new money thing is also considered as tacky and class cannot be bought. Love your videos! 👍🏻
Tell me more
Knowing that french influence was major through the middle ages and Louis XIV
Hi I'm your friendly french teacher neighbor poping in juste to adress the grading system here. It's true that we ofter note the mistakes more than the successes however, we don't view the grade starting at 20/20 and going down but rather going up from 0/20. Everything good is taken into account. I must say that the way we teach here as changed a lot and you won't find many teachers with such a negativ view on students anymore.
We have a saying for the feedback issue : "Pas de nouvelles, bonne nouvelle", which means "No news is good news"
Really interesting! I really enjoyed learning more about French culture. I see some similarities to Chinese culture - I've heard people mention the cultural similarities between the two, and I see it in terms of your comments about complaints, websites, processes, secrecy, etc.
I agree, Rosie, with you 100%!
I feel, you are my sister with a very similar point of view 👯♀️
And we both love France of course!
But all those things can be annoying and bizzare, I agree!
For me, there were
2 sad things while living in France.
1. I realized that French people like to say that our Polish scientist Maria Skłodowska-Curie was... French (she lived in France). Maybe because her husband was French?? and she was honored by Nobel prize, so it's good to be proud of?
2. When I was so happy to visit in Paris an exhibition of Polish wonderful painter Tamara Lempicka - I coudn't belive, they wrote she was Russian(!) We all know French people have special symphaty to Russia so they prefered to make her Russian rather than eccept the facts.
I've heard also that even Polish Mikołaj Kopernik (Copernicus) was French! I saw posters in Paris "Our great people" I can't belive it!
Ebay. I'm British and live in France. If I need anything from Ebay I use the UK site. French Ebay sellers are amatuers, mostly, whereas in the UK they're mostly pros. That means they'll send your order straight away, rather than sittin on it for two weeks.
Just a thought but I think that's a specific case here. From a french point of view Ebay is a 2000s website and I was thinking that nobody still use it nowadays. So I guess french users on Ebay are just old people not really aware about online transactions and reactivity.
My French friend stopped using it, between that and Paypal, he was forever having trouble. Now he looks for stuff on the UJ site and one of us over here buys it for him and he sends us the money.
Moi en tant que Français , je dirais le contraire . il est vrai que les britanniques sont fort dans tous les domaines , ils transforment leur défaite en victoire , le coup de poignard de Ramsay dans le dos des français à Dunkerque les français des lâche :98 000 soldats français tués 87 000 allemands de mai à juin , 4500 britanniques alors que ce sont les britanniques qui ont déclarés la guerre a l'Allemagne vous avez fait croire au monde entier que les allemands sont arrivés en France "la fleur au fusil ",
vous vous appropriez la victoire d'El-Alamein mais vous oubliez de dire que c'est grâce au soldats français de Bir-Hakeim que El Alamein a tenu . vous avez oubliez la racler des britanniques a Isandlwana contre les Zoulou , vous oubliez les Dardanelles . L' angleterre c'est approprié la victoire de Waterloo mais face aux armées de l'Empire français les anglais étaient battu ,c'est grâce aux manoeuvres de l'armée prussienne que les Français ont été battus la victoire revient à la Prusse. bien sûr comme d'habitude vous vous êtes appropriés une victoire . alors à Londre il y a Waterloo Street ; Trafalgars squares , mais bizarrement pas Dunkerque square , Isandlwana Street , Dardanelle Street .
@@ybreton6593 la drogue c'est mal
@@nicolasprivat N'empêche qu'au rugby, l'Angleterre a ses arbitres avec elle...
I visited Paris and found french people very nice 😊
They’re extra nice to foreigners.. TBH. Especially the ones who don’t speak French, but at least attempt to. They think it’s cute.
@@RemplacementTV ?
Thanks 😊
Omg your accent when you speak french is SO PRETTY 💕
Your points are so accurate and that's so interesting to have an outside eye on habits that we don't even notice anymore! We definitely have to improve a lot to become the perfection we seek ahah. Nice video!
But, wait a minute, why do you have to improve! You French do everything perfectly! :) Honestly, that attitude caused a breakup with my French boyfriend, who had many good qualities. I am perfectly willing to admit when I am wrong, but I was not ALWAYS wrong! He was not ALWAYS right! I grew weary of apologizing when he never would. I started to feel like I was abasing myself. I have to wonder, when French are married to each other, and both think they are always right - how does that work?
@@dm-gq5uj Maybe you broke up because you persisted in seeing 'cultural differences' in everything different between you and him. I've encountered people like this, who refused any individuality to their foreign partner and just reduced them to their culture.
@@Leopold_van_Aubel I try to see people as individuals. I thought it was just him - it wasn't until I saw this video that I learned it's a "French" trait. Of course, the French are not the only ones who think they are always right :)
Waiting in a line/queuing ...I’m posting this even before hearing your list. I wanna know if I predicted well hahaha. The issue of placing blame is sooo right on. They can also be very punitive in their attitudes as regards anyone who makes a mistake. God forbid make a mistake! The students I work with seem terrified of making a mistake. Your list, in general, seems completely in line with my experience in my 11 years of living here. You didn’t include the queuing issue. They really don’t like having to wait in line, especially the older generation. They seem to think nothing of cutting in line. Not true for everyone, obviously, but it is def a thing :0)
What comes first: your video subject or the sponsorship? Do you make videos to match sponsors, or match the sponsors to videos you are already making?
So true! 😂 I'm so agree with you about the impossibility to have a positive feedback! After years abroad it's really hard to be back in France and work with people who are just talking about what is not ok 😂😫
for the trust part, maybe it's more a parisian think? I grow up in a small village of 200 inhabitants and the house's door is never locked, you can pay later your groceries, people say hello to everyone in the street... Sometimes I think impossible in Paris 😄 thanks for sharing your opinions, it's always interesting 😊😊
The not trusting, being right and always done their way is a daily experience for me with my French partner. It can be exhausting.
I totally thought this was going to be something I have already heard before but everything you said made me want to scream Yessssss! Uuuuggghhh. Lol especially the bit about the “right way” to eat/ the rules around eating.
I am just in shock, how do people network in France ? how do they build a circle of influence? If people barely talk to each other and don't get to know each other.
Hi Rosie! Just discovered your channel and really loving it. I am French living abroad for many years and i totally agree with your "Suck at list" 😉. Regarding the lack of positive feedback, or constant critisizing atitude, this is also something that drives me crazy in French culture. However, i must say that for those who survive this type of negative reinforcment environment it does have two very usefull outcome in general: 1. It helps uncover bullshit or attractive but superficial ideas because those wont resist long the constant pounding of questionning that the criticising habit brings on. (Take the "pro-brexiter" arguments for instance). 2. It develops a very thick skin into those who overcome those critics. If your ideas can pass the french critics test, you can survive anywhere on the planet and you will never be surprised or discouraged anymore because you basically have heard and seen everything already. So of course for those who come from the "no judjmental / positive feedback" background, the contrast is very harsh right? But for us, confronting other ways of thinking is relatively easy. Even if, as you say, we may almost never admit our mistake ... = thats also a way of fighting the critics (its the art of rhetoric !). As France and NZ share the love of rugby, you can imagine this French habit as a rugby game! It takes a lot of fighting to bring your ideas to your opponent's side, but that's also what makes you strong ! However, i do agree it is not very forgiving or inclusive to people who are more sensitive or introvert, and thats something we need to improve on. Cheers! 😊
The pre buy check is super important when buying a house in France. It's bought as seen on the day you sign the AdV. I know someone who didn't do the checks on the day of signing and they found the sellers had removed all the kitchen units. Another found all the top soil removed from the garden!
Lol my French school's website looked the exact same as @12:00, I'm cracking up rn. They hyped up the school so much about how prestigious and modern it was but then you look at the website and it's from like 2001 and couldn't function- not saying that you can't be great while still having a lame website but often perception is reality. Lots of other organizations there as well have the same "Craigslist" early 2000's internet layout... Always found it strange because I feel like the French (maybe specifically Parisians) are quite critical about appearance and design (perhaps sometimes just to appear knowledgable) but when then you look at their outdated websites, you're left wondering how to take it seriously. Lived in Madrid as well and it was the same thing.
Also literally all my french friends on IG have strange handles lol. Totally see what you mean Rosie!
Just a small info : Nouveau riche means a new rich person without manners ! A person who knows nothing about Etiquette and Culture.
We are used to say : Live a good life is to live a hidden life.
I most agreee with you for everything else.
Tres bien.
Everything you say in the video is SO true. I think our culture is stuck and I don't know why we think the way we think. There is a HUGE identity issue at the core. French people I think, are very insecure, and don't know who they are. We are afraid of the unknown, and to be wrong. Identity issue. I don't think this can be changed easily, unless people travel and open themselves to change. Change is hard for us. More than anglo-saxon cultures which are more flexible for some reason.
Everything you’ve said is scarily accurate!
I went on holiday with my extended French family,you know the type of thing,everything packed into a car,including the kitchen sink.the holiday passed off as frugally as possible,on our departure I decided to be very helpful, packing up the car with all the luggage.very pleased with my effort,all the doors actually closed.my wife's cousin arrives with a puzzled look on his face and precedes to empty the car and repack it.then we faced a six hour drive through Spain, where he insisted on not using the air conditioning because it cost too much,they don't really do holidays do they
I wish I would've found this video before living with a french girl during my study abroad experience in Spain. I could not understand why she was always complaining and highly critical but at the same time quite sensitive to criticism and unable to admit her wrongs. As an American raised in the south with southern hospitality and the American "can do" mentality I was puzzled. Somehow my positivity came across as dishonest to her? It was a hard situation to navigate. Towards the end of our living situation we were not on speaking terms. However I've been retroactively researching french culture and I think I understand her a little bit more now. Thanks for sharing and bridging the divide :)
J'ai apprécié cette vidéo Rosie !
Never realized our websites were bad but you clearly haven't seen Japanese ones lol I'd often rather go to a store or an office directly than having to go through online procedures! (French living in Japan)
Lived in Japan for 8 years. Can relate!
Beeing a francophone german with experiences in working in a french organisation, I can agree on every single topic. But: with a german cultural background I could stand "open words" quite good. That sugar coating thing "Well done this and that, but..." coming from the anglo-saxon positivity attitude isn't my/our thing either. And dealing with the coconut type of people made me rather feel like beeing at home...😊😉
"Lu et Approuvé" does hold legal meaning, I think it is to ensure the person did read through the contract and therefore was not forced to sign something forgetfully or without carefully reading through
Interesting video, After living in France for 1 year in Bordeaux... the culture was a bit different from what you mentioned. (I guess the south is not the same as the north). One thing I will say though is I learned a couple of the ways of French people (an sometimes im identified as one in other places in the world though im American)... The biggest difference between the French and Americans is their ability to not be bothered, or care about what you are doing, they are fast and always in a rush to do things but I will agree mental health is accused socially as a "you problem" and should be fixed by you only. Something I found unerving but also relieving was the French ability to be direct/uncandid about how they felt. Generally the POV was not the most positive but when it was it was refreshing to be around people who didnt pretend. If someone was upset they would be upset and feel it, than it would pass and they would continue in life. I LOVED talking with French people and when I impressed one I felt a treat because it is not an easy thing to do. Remarks and improvements are always welcomed as long as its not mean. (I guess I dont need good feed back on what im doing because if Im doing good what is there more to say because good job, but if I WANT/NEED to improve on something get feedback is SOMETHING I find AMERICANS really are horrible at doing because they are afraid of hurting your feelings, so they would rather pretend till they melt down from it).
Again maybe the south is different but your experience of french people and one are not the same. Yet people who live in Paris seem to share what you are saying.
For "Lu et approuvé" (read and approved), it's a way to check your handwriting and being sure that it's you that wrote that, and nobody else 😅
(Remind me my grand father's, he was borned in 1926, and at that time, in school, they forced him to do everything from the right hand, and so he was doing everything from his left hand except writing 😅 was pretty usefull during the 40-44 resistance ^^")
I never pick on people's foreign language skill because I know it's hard to learning second language.
Hey. About keeping thinks secret, you are wrong. We, as French, do that because we consider that private life has to be taken away from profesional life. We feel angl-saxons are too intrusive on that topic.
I'm French, and I think you make very good points. I would say that the French are closer to Japanese or Korean people in that they are usually reserved and serious people. Having a bubbly smiling personality is seen as a bit childish. We're not loud in public. We don't do small talks because we find them meaningless. We love to talk about politics, world affairs, and culture instead. Critical thinking is very important. Complaining means you are smart! ;) We may be seen as cold or even rude people to strangers, specially for people coming from warm sociable cultures. It may be difficult at first to make friends. It's harder for French people to open up and bond with strangers, but once we do, we really value our relationships. In the American culture, I found relationships shallower and more insincere. The average American will have hundreds of "friends." In the French culture, you may have only 5 friends, but those bonds are solid, reliable, and will last a lifetime. Quality, not quantity mentality.
First thing I noticed about the French was: they suck at waiting in lines. The were a lot of French guests at a hotel in Tunesia, where we were on vacation. They never waited in a queue for the buffet or whatever, they just went at it all at the same time.
It's cultural behavior. We don't wait in a queue in France but you can ask them to do it 😉
Old lady in grocery stores are the worst they will hit you with their bags !
That's not true.
Haha this was a funny one. Some things surprised me though. For instance, I really like the idea that I could work with someone for 4 months and not have to know and especially not have to care to know anything about them. Lol. How terrible do I sound? Buuuuut yeah, I personally feel like running whenever I stand around with workmates and they start pulling out their phones to share photos of their daughters trying on wedding dresses or their kids potty training😂😂 ( I'm not mean, I promise) Also, what you mentioned about mental health in France shocked me. I think the fact that it's separated from general medical care instantly puts a barrier in place and immediately stigmatises the person who would be in need of emotional and psychological care. Lastly, from my very, very little experience of hanging out with French people, I can say that they all have one distinct quality in common and that is : they are fantastic conversationalists.
While I understand you not wanting to say French ppl suck at speaking English for the reasons you listed - I'd modify it just to say "French ppl suck at speaking any foreign languages." Outside of Paris that is. And I say it from a perspective of a person who speaks 4 languages at various levels, and is currently learning the 5th.
You do know us well! Everything you said sounds right to me. Must be part of our irritating charm though! 🤣
As an American I would like to know:
1. Where are these mythical jobs that give positive feedback
2. Landlords that don’t try to screw you out of every dime of your deposit when you move out
3. People that don’t make their mistakes everybody else’s fault
4. And keeping secrets
Come to think of it almost everything you had a negative here describes my current workplace which is an American-based company it’s kind of strange
FLORIDA-USA, SPECIALLY CENTRAL FLORIDA.
As an American living in France I agree with just about everything here. And after arguing if they lose they say “par contre or mais” it’s tough but now I just laugh. I actually find they talk a lot and really want to discuss about how I met my girlfriend, american gun laws and politics . Par contre… they love my positivity and energy cause people here can be quite pessimistic about everything.
How do you manage to keep mining for new topics! Great observations :)
Things have improved: when I lived in Paris in 1972 and bought a car, I had to hand-write "lu et approuve, bon pour commande" as well as signing the form to order the car.
Hey good video :) I am french living in Ireland and I do admit we have quite an issue with saying "ok my bad", it is just in France you really have to explain that your intension were not bad otherwise you really get punish hard. If you take full responsablitlity without a fight (or a defense) : either you will be punish harder for making an exemple, or you will be viewed as a failure. In general typical french we tend to apologize by starting with a "I am sorry" then go with the explanation of why we did it (to defend ourselves of this failure thing or the punishment I guess). That been said, in True Friendship, we can really being honest and say the "I am sorry, I fucked up" but this involve a level of "true friendship" and very huge trust.
Mental health care has been destroyed through the last 30 years. We used to have one of the best tradition in psychiatry. Family doctors do their best but are rarely 100% relevant despite of anti depressors prescription and benzodiazépines. Interesting to see you noticed that.
I'm amazed how Switzerland (where I'm from) is similar to New Zealand in so many points !
No wonder the swiss dairy brand "Heidi" (I kid you not) even went that far to NZ to shoot one of their commercials ! The reason ? The mountains there were even "swisser" looking than the Swiss Alps ahaha !
I wish we had a more positive attitude in France, I only had a couple* of positive feedbacks in my entire life here, it kinda came frome nowhere but felt really good. I think French people tend to congratulate themselves, they think they're the best in the world without really comparing what other countries actually do better, anyway...
*to be honest I just can clearly remember one, I think the other was ruined later 😅
Well I think it's the opposite in politics everyone is always talking of how good they're doing something elsewhere (Germany lol) but never about what we do well
@@NotEvenFrench ☺️ Thank you very much 😊
@@mr.meeseeks2799 I would like to make a request, Mr Meeseeks : make the French more positive :D
I'm not French, but although they eat sugar, their food habits are very nice. They eat A LOT of vegetables and other good things...
Anxious to moove to Paris next year!
Any advice to find a job?
In which domain ?
At the moment it's not easy. 😐
Paris remains a good employment pool, but accommodation is very expensive.
@@eunosnurb4123 I'm open to lot of things, today i'm working in Customer support but I have a degree in education and I'm studying digital marketing! So..looks promising?
@@martinabevi I think so, these aren't sectors too affected by the current crisis.
Maybe take a look at the big international companies or the headhunters on Linkedin. Otherwise an international school...?
On the other hand, if you don't speak French, it will be difficult to target more local businesses. Try to learn the language as much as possible.
Finally, be careful: In Paris, if you don't have a big salary, you will have to choose a very small appartement, a flatsharing, or live in the suburbs: more or less nice, more or less well served by transport...
Where do you come from ?
@@eunosnurb4123 I'm from Brazil, I'm up to live in small places ... I did my research in this part and we attually move to a smaller house last year :) I'm going with my husband and I have Italian Citizenship. I'm learning French every single day - but i'm sure that be fluent is hard and it takes some time...
@@martinabevi Of course it takes time, it's just good to come with a good foundation. You will improve on the spot afterwards.
Brazil is a beautiful country. Hope you will enjoy living in France. 😉
"Lu et approuvé" is actually not legally binding... Despite what many administrations would say (and despite what may be written in the contract) "Lu et approuvé" has no legal value... But in many situations "they" still demand you to write it down. Your signature (and sometimes the date) is the only legal binding.
Your videos are always super instructive about my own culture !!
All of your examples given, I always try to analyze the way I behave at work, if I give positive feedback, or if i always complain about everything.... and I must admit that I must be a terrible coworker hahaha