Jimmy Kimmel’s Quarantine Monologue - Trump Fumes Over Bunker & Bible Photo Op
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- Опубликовано: 2 июн 2020
- In tonight’s #JimmyKimmelLiveFromHisHouse monologue, Jimmy talks about his kids, the protests, charges finally being filed against the three police officers who stood by and did nothing while their fellow officer ended George Floyd’s life, Trump getting his Bible thumped for his obvious photo op, Secretary of Defense Mark Esper speaking about the events that unfolded, the “reason” Trump really went to the underground bunker in the White House, the possible return of the NBA, and we created a PSA that any business can use when they return to work. Jimmy is making a donation to a worthwhile cause every day during this quarantine. Today our guest Regina King chose Black Lives Matter. Please help them fight for freedom, liberation and justice. Go here to donate - blacklivesmatter.com/
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About Jimmy Kimmel Live:
Jimmy Kimmel serves as host and executive producer of Emmy®-nominated “Jimmy Kimmel Live!,” ABC’s late-night talk show. “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” is well known for its huge viral video successes, with over 11 billion views and more than 15 million subscribers on the show’s RUclips channel. Some of Kimmel’s most popular comedy bits include “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets,” “Lie Witness News,” “Unnecessary Censorship,” “Halloween Candy RUclips Challenge,” and music videos like “I (Wanna) Channing All Over Your Tatum.” 
Приколы
We appreciate Jimmy for doing this. JUSTICE
Juju
I could listen to Kimmel talk about trump all day 😂
Me too.
uuuuuuhhhmmmm This section is wear kiddie Porn Turns-use Locakl and PBS for a trick pony.
@@topturn9653 ...You sound like a fool. Learn how to spell.
He crushes.
@trm That's exactly why I tune in to Fox and Friends, oh wait, I don't, because I'm not a sociopath who goes to a party just to crap in the punchbowl.
Jimmy Kimmel I LOVE you. That was one of your best yet.
"Why would a draft dodger be allowed to send in the military?, that's like a vegan in charge of the BBQ." 2nd best
Something about being Commander-In-Cheif.
You may want to look into that!
woooosh
Trump derangement syndrome is real
Look into how you spell chief.
ok
" hurry up and take the picture, this book is burning my hand " said the Bunker Baby.
BUNKER BABY!!😂😭😂😭😂😂
Búnker Baby!! :D
Trump, 666
😂😂😂
Too funny lol
"why the orange chicken crossed the road" 😂😂
🐔😂😂😂😂
LMAO 🤣😅😂
STILL LMFAOO
😂😂
Save little girls from uncle joe
"600 year old host of the 700 club" 🤣🤣
Lol
"The bible walk was actually Ivanka's idea. And as a result she's been demoted to Eric."
Kimmel has always been lame. If it wasn't for Adam Carolla no one would know who he was.
Lol lol lol lol lol!!!!...
@AtlantisHeals ⁸
brilliant!
😭😭😭😭 damn i missed that
Hey I’m a middle schooler in a small town in California. And I would like to thank you to always make me laugh during these tough times.
I am a middle aged lady in Europe, John, and I feel the same way!
It is interesting that in Shakespeare the figure of the Fool, the clown, is the one who tells truth in jokes. I find that to be true of Jimmy and others like him.
Wishing you well as you get through quarantine etc 😊
Thanks for paying attention young blood.You're on the right track
As a retail worker, that CEO clip is 100% correct.
I bet you do....a life is a life..right?
8:29 Is your CEO also able to say "come on" without moving his lips?
Damn CEOs.
That Public Service Announcement commercial skit was Hilarious.
"Business suit Barbie"-🤣- Business suit Barbie said Churchill 😂😆😹
Best nickname for her I’ve heard. I’ve called her Press Secretary Barbie, but Business Suit Barbie is even better.
“Ivanka has been demoted to Eric”🤣🤣🤣
Why would a draft dodger be allowed to send in the military?! 🤣🤣
A Belt 4 The Beehive?
It's like having a vegan in charge of the barbecue.
Under the Constitution, the President as Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy is the supreme military commander charged with the responsibility of protecting and defending the United States. The phrase “Army and Navy” is used in the Constitution as a means of describing all the armed forces of the United States.Dam Constitution
@@xrayron1 Nothing about an impeached president
@@xrayron1 "protecting and defending the United States" and it's people you'd have hoped. But nope tear gas and rubber bullets is what they get.
Ivanka’s been demoted to Eric 😂😂😂
"He knows cool. He's one of the original Muppets." Clouds part and big thumbs up pokes through.
"Leadershim moments?" 1:55
She's a communications expert who attended Trump University and majored in gibberish.
That's the easiest thing to major in, I'd do that!
@baerleon Dude she is so worn out she wouldn't notice a bull elephant plowing her, let alone cry.
If I'm not mistaking, she graduated as a baton twirling majorette.
I heard it too!
She actually has a degree from a reputable university which only proves what I’ve been saying for years, still plenty of idiots can manage to get a degree, I’ve worked with many of them over the years.
I've always enjoyed the show's opening with Jimmy's kids either cheerily announcing "From his home!" or the animation of the drawings and the little intro song sung by Jane. But I was surprised at how moved--how relieved, how gratified, how comforted--I felt to see something so innocent and so familiar after a week of watching anguished protesters and our country in pain...with no end in sight. The intro to this show is an unexpected tonic for our times.
Indeed!
He's an absolute embarrassment that the world will never forget.
Especially if he goes nuts with nukes.
He certainly will go down in history as the worst president ever.
As a watcher from Scandinavia, I can confirm that statement.
Can we get lobotomies? I really, really want to forget.
@@lexyswope Didn't he suggest nukes or bombs to get rid of hurricanes or some other natural disaster? Maybe I am confused with the map sharpie incident?
She equates trump with Churchill? Is she kidding?
Churchill was a racists! He wanted to be slave master of Indians.
Yeahh Churchill did a lot of messed up stuff
Didn't Churchill also advocate the use of poison gas against the Kurds?
Genetics run throughout the family. Not too smart
‘Why the orange chicken crossed the road’ 🤣🤣🤣🤣😬😬
This properly made me laugh 😂😂😂😂
J. Aquino 😂😭.. I just got the joke 🤣
My answer: To get a photo op for my religious magas. He will never realize his base is in his pocket no matter what he does. But what he does will influence fence sitters to vote against him.
Not funny.
Denki it’s funny to me hahahah
Jimmy, PLEASE come out tomorrow in an “official bunker inspector” tshirt. That’s a summer wear must
Best idea...get some t-shirts made
BEST IDEA EVER
“Demoted to Eric”. Best ever!
Lol
😂😂😂😂😂😂
One of his better lines.
Ivanka: “Hi, I’m Eric!”
That was hilarious!
Finally, you fixed the audio break ups in your clips and I can watch your new video postings. Thanks.
OMG, get this group of weirdos out of Washington! They have done so much damage! Get them out out out!!!!!
November 2020 is the answer, as long as is no foreign interference.
The message at the end was hilarious! Compliments to the actor who NAILED the smarminess!
Hey,... I know you!
Im Iranian and American government has created a perfect excuse for ours to act like the nice guy. ugh the hypocrisy is painful.
yup. wtf can we say about peace when were not even 1% towards leading by example. the foreign affairs damage is a 20 year fix for politics. when were all basically the same people across the world. I'm sorry.
Just an inspection, and the lights were turned off to save energy.
The lights have recently been changed to ultraviolet, with bleach syringes in every chair.
well at least he didnt say "that's where I meet my hookers". His religious supporters must be confused.
“Ivanka was demoted to Eric”🤣 I’m DYINGGGGGG🤣
Everybody should just keep calling him bunker boy. That would really get under his orange wrinkled skin.
Imagine if the crowd in front of the WH just started chanting "Obama" .....He would go out of his mind. Yes please.
@@CCCC-rw9hx But, Obama was a bad President....
I like “Pandemic President”.
@@CCCC-rw9hx YES! DO IT
I'm such a big fan of all kinds of American music and really looking forward to a new song titled Bunker Boy.
You know someone's a racist when they make a statement making it about them rather than focusing on the people being oppressed.
JillyN HunD that is more like a narcissist but they can be racists as well.
Ya Jimmy
All of Trump's speeches summarized: ______ is/are horrible people, I will get rid of him/her/it/them, vote for me. Also, it is all the democrats' fault.
@Queenie Miller We tried. our political system is broken. Got the first half of impeachment but our Senate is still too far up Trumps ass
@@highgrounder More like it's all Trumps fault
All the time
Literally 24/7
Since before he even came into power...lol
Jimmy you’ve been so on point.. Jimmy for President
How long have you been a writer for Jimmy Kimmel?
He's been on fire lately. This situation is his wheelhouse. Funny and direct and adult about it.
"Welcome to my house, please don't touch anything, we ran out of Chlorox wipes back in March." (last week)
Still laughing over that one.
Did she just say “Churchill”?!? I’m having a stroke.
Maybe we could get bulk rate at the hospital.
She gives Harvard a bad name. It's amazing what people do for money. Her lips are getting dry from kissing trumps butt, how do these enablers
sleep at night. 😡
Natalia Same
@@joannoriol6444 On a pile of money, with many beautiful laaadies...
church ill, don well
"As we all know, the sequel is always worse than the original"
Best comedic description of a second wave, dark humor at it's finest!
What about The Dark Knight and Empire Strikes Back?
The only way Trump could "make America great again", is to duct tape his own mouth shut, smash his phone, and resign immediately.
Suzy
markmac Like we haven’t launched enough trash into the cosmo?
I'm *STILL WAITING* for Trump to "Make America Great Again" ... Did I miss it???
Whatever you do, PLEASE DON'T send him to Canada!!!!🇨🇦
But, everyone else is more than welcome to come!!!❤
“The orange chicken crossed the road”😂
@ So you believe Trump was inspecting the WH bunker while they were out front? Anyone with even slightly elevated intelligence knows why he was down there. He's a coward, a fraud, a fake Christian, a racist, and a terrible human being. Trump and his delusional followers like yourself are the sorry morons.
Yeah, but why? He's a foul orange chicken 🤪
Lmao yes! Spot on!!! 🤣🤣
@ right.....after the police gassed peaceful protesters so his pathetic ass would be safe
hey chuckie... did you like watching blm asking young white girls to kneel down in front of them and apologize for being white...and worse they did?? you like that? that's racism and the American people aren't liking it...you will see in November. If anyone doesn't like this country...get the hell out
Kelly's first press conference she said she would never lie to the press. That was her first lie.
Kayleigh McNinny. But I agree.
It might be more newsworthy when she McNinny tells the truth for the first time.
I'm surprised he walked that far
He does lots of walks. Walks to the golf cart. Walks back to the golf cart. Dozens of times each round of golf.
@@pynn1000 each hole
Business suit Barbie made my day especially when Jimmy commented on her terrible churchill representation
DONT EVEN COMPARE WINSTON TO DUCK FACE! lol
Business Suit Barbie...copious lies...er...notes... sold separately
"You know, you don't have to listen to all your kids' suggestions. If we did that at my house, the bathtub would be filled with skittles right now."
I love that, Jimmy - business-suit Barbie - ha ha - spot on! Thank you for continuing to make us laugh in these desperate times. My mum loved the visual of blowing up Trump outside the church - she's 84. It was the best laugh she had all day!
“Let’s see why the orange chicken crossed the road.” That joke was hilarious 😂
damn, orange chicken is one of my favorite entrees... now it'll remind me of trump and i'll lose my appetite
Eh, I prefer "The chihuahua dipped in curry while forced to put on a cute little doggy business suit"
He was stapled to a punk rocker
"...the orange chicken who crossed the road..." love it!
Hahaha
"People liked my walk." They liked it so much they were crying.
George Layton especially the ones in his way who got flash banged, gassed, bullied and terrorised.
A Lot of people say NOBODY walks like me,,It's like the Letter that was a phone call, PERFECT....Believe me!
Trump must have a dog named People.
“The 600 year old host of the 700 Club.”
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😁
Well he is. Sorry, can't stand the man.
But even this minion says something is uncool.
Tee Dee - You made me laugh. Thank You, needed that very much.
🤣🤣🤣
That’s why every American voter should vote this November.
And vote for Trump.
@@theoelliott5944 Only idiots vote for obvious idiots.
@@intersanctum 🤣🤣🤣👍👍👍🤣🤣🤣
Republicans control the senate, Trump is gonna have a 2nd term
The Republicans in the Senate are now trying to do everything in their power to subpoena people from the Obama administration, (58 of them), to try and discredit Biden. They know Trump and many republicans can not win in a free election so they are trying to rig it. If the impossible happens and Trump wins again, he will get the dictatorship he always wanted and the great experiment will be over.
There is no medical justification for ending the isolation protocols.
Trump (holding up the Bible as if it were a brick): "Look at me, I'm an idiot!"
lol
Upside Down BIBLE.... Hiding in the Bunker. .... Yeah He's Tuff... Draft Dodger
Do you know who David Dorn is?
Bunker bone spurs
FDR gives Pearl Harbor speech, "we will gain the inevitable triumph-so help us God."
Bush gives heartfelt speech at the World Trade Center rubble after it's collapse to rally America.
Trump has people tear gassed and pushed out of the way to hold a bible in front of a Church for a photo op.
The late great ?.what a goose.
Willa Belle - Oh yeah, inspecting. Probably wants more gold paint down there.
the rest of the world is laughing at the man in the Office
facts !!!
Even Mexico
Yes. I can hardly recall when I laughed so much (this must be the funniest TV item ever produced in U.S.A.); but then I don't have to live in U.S.A.
We do not even consider him a man, he is a child
Micky CutieBoy :P, says the Mickey Mouse!
Jimmy, from start to finish, your monologues are BRILLIANT.
You speak from the heart kimmel and it is so refreshing to see. I can never sit through any monologue as it is boring.
Am I the only one who sees bubbles coming out of the head of Kayleigh McEnany when ever she talks?
Such a bubble head for sure. A Fox host made important. But is so unimportant.
@@geraldhaynesjr1815 trimp's werk
@John Smith shouldn't you be picking your Mom's empties up right about now? That trailer isn't going to clean itself, you know.
I love ur show Jimmy!
We shall fight them on the streets, he wasn't talking about this own people - right on !!! 🤣
When he said "demoted to Eric" my laugh almost chocked me. 🤣🤣
OMGOODNESS!!! THAT PSA was SPOT-ON!!! Dayum!!!!🤣🤣
When Maga-nanny said "Churchill" I laughed spontaneously, without having to wait for Jimmy Kimmel's punch line. 😄
Well Churchill was rascist too...
ST elevation no he wasn’t that was almost 100 years ago very different time
ST elevation get to the hospital, quick. You might need an angio.
@@jackelliott7853 he did call Gandhi...a pioneer of non violent protest....a half naked fakir....let millions of Indians die during the bengal famine...by diverting resources during ww2...May be read up on it...and also called Indians beastly people with beastly religion...
Churchill wanted to turn British soldiers on British striking miners during the 20s, a great wartime leader, but the British people roundly rejected him in the first post war elections in a landslide victory for the Labour party.
The business commercial gave me the laugh I've needed for the last 2 weeks! Thank you so much!😂😂😂😂😂
After watching that beautiful memorial on Fred Willard and knowing how much he was on your show, that PSA announcement actually made me miss him.
Jimmy.. You're AWESOME.
He has so much current events he should call it the Jimmy Kimmel news monolog. I always look forward to the next upload. Two thumbs up 👍
thanks for the monologue!
"Why would a draft-dodger be allowed to send in the military? It's like putting a vegan in charge of the barbecue" 😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣Damn, Jimmy!!!😆😂🤣
The way his tiny orange hands fumbled with the Bible like he’s never held a book🤣
That photo op is such a joke. Just like this entire imposter Presidency.
I'm sure it was burning his hands.
when the reporter asked him was it his Bible lol! of course it wasn't (it wasn't gilded in 24k gold and inlaid with diamonds), but he obviously didn't expect anyone to ask him that and the reporter should be commended for such an excellent question that pretty much said it all.
The only book hes ever held was a kids menu at a restaurant
Big mouth "bunker boy" is the WORST and DUMBEST president ever in HISTORY of the world!🤔
Courtney Lynn maybe it was burning his fingers lol
What a crazy man in the White House
"I've gone down 2 or 3 times" No wonder Melania doesn't look happy to see you!
coulda done without having to fight that mental image away from my brain....
😂..Roasted
that's where bunker baby meets his Melania "substitute". Bet she costs a pretty penny. EWE!
"The only thing Churchill and Donnie have in common is they wore the same sized bra ". Lol
Pretty childish. Jimmy is on house arrest. He's been bad.
Bone spires are very serious and to get them so many times is just dangerous to your health. The best cure is spending time in a bunker.
Thank you for always speaking up, regardless of what some people might say.
Some people?? I watch fox and Republican stuff .. it’s not just some.. there are thousands hating on jimmy.
Yeah, wandering across the street was really a leadership moment.
Stable genius indeed
Hey, it’s the furthest he’s walked in years!
As usual Trump sidestepped the horseshit.
No golf cart?
I can’t believe it!
What strength 💪
@truerealityscott AND the Secretary of Defense, The Admiral of the Joint Forces, and an army of FBI agents and military men to protect him. Having them present was the only way he could get military protection. Sometimes too much protection only shows how weak or a coward you really are. A brave man would have addressed the crowd with empathy, compassion, and a plan. He doesn't have the intelligence or the balls to do that.
Love you Jimmy. You are so appreciated in these dire times with comedy relief.
Thank you, Jimmy, for helping keep me sane!
I just love the way Jimmy Kimmel eviserates Trump. He just dissects Trump and cuts him into itty bitty little pieces. Of all the late night hosts broadcasting from their homes, Jimmy is the best; he is just razor sharp.
Vee Cee
His writers you mean, he delivers it better..
“Through two weeks, NBC's The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, CBS' Late Show With Stephen Colbert and ABC's Jimmy Kimmel Live! are averaging a combined 1.05 rating among adults 18-49 and 6.76 million viewers. That's down from a combined 1.31 in the 18-49 demo and 7.28 million viewers at the same time a year ago, declines of 20 percent in the demo and 7 percent in viewers.”
Maybe, but I like Trevor Noah and Conan O'Brien better. ^^ Stephen Colbert must be worst one. His jokes are even worse than Fallon.
Also he gets personal about Trump's physique, food habits and his sexual life with melania. Not so PC after all. I'm a long time fan of Kimmel btw.
Colbert always at least one day ahead of Kimmel on national news. Colbert is no. 1 in ratings. You can feel it's personal for Kimmel, that's why he's the best. He actually cares. Shout out to Seth Meyers for being the funniest. (lately)
Average of 19 weeks police training in the US, 55% is based on how to use weapons in most of your Police Academy`s. Our Police in Switzerland have to train 2 years before they are in "action". Lots of training that focus on de-escalating situations.......America...you are Sick, you need treatment....!
As a minority in the US, I have been stopped and asked to put my hands on the dashboard immediately. Idiot cops are taught to racially profile first, make threats and use brutality second and only to use their minds and a calm demeanor as a last resort.
My son is RCMP he had to go through a two year process just to be accepted. After his six months training. He said to me it wasn’t long enough to. He had six months under direct supervision then a few months with a member to contact for advice afterwards. Even then a few bad apples make it through. They not only need to vet the applicants they need non violent intervention training, communication training, ethics and training on understanding minorities, mental health and addictions.
Yes we do!!
I think that about police force training nowadays is everywhere in Europe - that training is years. In fact in my country, there was recently a controversy that two policemen were attacked by a group (20+) people from a 'minority', and the guys fled calling for backup. The guys were originally called because of massive party that disturbed the whole neighborhood. Left the police car which was destroyed. The two guys were afraid to use their pistols at all, because of possible backlash from media etc, risking their own lives. Not everything is black and white (pun intended). (Whoever is interested, there was a backup of a few vans of gendarmery later who went in and did a lot of arrests.)
helvetia1978 thats amazingly responsible..America should take notes
I can just picture Fred Willard doing the CEO bit in my head. Way funnier.
R.i.p
This is so surreal without a laugh track, it's hard to differentiate between the setup and the joke. Love you Jimmy. Can't wait to see you back
He's been known for ages as 'Bunker Boy' in the golfing community.
Trump complains about Obama on the golf course. Other golfers sigh and say, "Would someone just shut Trump's sand trap?"
"and as a result, Ivanka has been demoted to Eric"
Hahahaha, yeah that gave me a good chuckle :D
Damn she must have really messed up to be demoted that far down 😂
Noticed Jimmy said that Billy is now 3, so Happy Birthday, hope you all had a fab day, and thanks for providing these monologue's.
Your monologues are highlight of my days
This is why Voting is important guys ! Do Vote . Every Vote Counts !
This is why everyone who hates the guy should vote and everyone who supports him should call me down with explosive diarrhea come election day.
it's nice you still think that
We all thought it did, but the electoral college proved us wrong. And, thanks to Trump's rhetoric, the vote count for the next election won't be accepted by the side that loses. I hope votes matter, but they don't.
Also vote for local authorities, mayors, judges, governors etc! They are the ones that can change and improve within the system too
💯 agreed.
Hold this abysmal administration accountable. Vote them out!
Keep your kids intro when the pandemic is over. It is the best intro.
💗
😊
♥️😊🤩🥳
He removed the ”from his house part ”. That was not cool
@@rendacynkum8402 I agree.
Laughed so hard, had tears in my eyes for "A Message from your CEO".
Always a good show, with live audience or not! Thanks Mr. Kimmel!
"the orange chicken... crossed the road" LOL
Jimmy you bring a smile to my
face. We have a joke bag for a president
Big mouth "bunker boy" is the WORST and DUMBEST president ever in HISTORY of the world!🤔
If I go hold up a football in front of a stadium that doesn’t make me a football player.
IT LOOKED LIKE HE WAS HOLDING THE BIBLE UPSIDE DOWN LOL
I am German. If someone says, "That's just a black man," I hear, "That's just a Jew." And I know the consequences.
Trump: I just went down there to inspect it.
For three days.
MidnightMiik You can't blaim him, it's probably a big bunker😅
Inspect it? Did he study that just like he studied wind and raking woods?
keeps his beer cool down there....an his stash of opiates
And he never found the bucket of chicken they told him was down there.
Roberts Von - or the stash of Oreo Cookies!
Trump's photo op with the bible, made me want to puke. It was so phony.
I was hoping for a lightning bolt to join in!!
ME TOO
Religion is phony. So he was true to that
Jimmy's photo showing my dog in Trump's arms made me dizzy. He's not fit to hold animals with those greedy little hands.
He held it upside down even
He finally got the crowd size was after, it looks like it's the first time he's ever held the Bible he looks very uncomfortable
looks like he thought it may burst into flames
@@scottpeters5959 Yes, you can tell he's never changed a dipper
Lol The business logo part was hilarious!😂😂
" The Walk of Shame " is how it will go down in the history books.
I prefer "Tiny Man Square Incident"
these people are absolutely nuts and they're in power. terrible combination
VOTE Blue in november!!
TRUMP 2020
They aren't absolutely nuts. They're absolutely EVIL!
@@tygrenvoltaris4782 Stormy Daniels 2020
@@johno7617 yea vote Biden lets see how that works for you.
You guys have a dangerous man at the helm. If I were American I would be shaking in my boots atm. Peace ✌️ to all from Canada
Photos of Chump and baby / dog - priceless 😂 but overall stellar monologue 💕
Lol do-next-to-nothing Ivanka finding out the most do-nothing response to the protests
@taher tufenkeji - smart...to get peaceful protesters gassed and shot at with rubber bullets so Daddy Dearest could get his picture taken with a book he couldn’t read if you held a gun to his head. Yeah, real smart.
Hey now, she looks good thats something🤦♂️
With Donald Trump as president, I feel like I’ve been living in a SNL skit for 4 years.
Yeah except SNL skits involve planning and coordination
3 1/2 years
You and the rest of world my friend.
@@marianolasco251 and even when they flop, SNL sketches are funnier.
Right, constantly pinching yourself to c if it's jus a dream 🤣I'm with ya
The innocence of a child is a beautiful thing ☺️
The blonde whitehouse spokesgirl is even worse than Spicer!
I miss Spicer. He always gave me a good laugh.
Better than Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
Why? Because she tells the truth?
No, becos her hair is worse than Spicer's stupid!