Why Smothering & Over Pursuing Women Decreases Attraction, Interest & Respect

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  • Опубликовано: 7 фев 2025
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    Why smothering & over pursuing women decreases attraction, interest & respect.
    In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who tends to obsess over women he is dating to the point that he smothers them and over pursues them right out of his life. He was dating a new woman after a recent breakup and he ignored the fact he was starting to do most of the pursuing until she started backing off, needing space and crying that her feelings were not growing for him. She tried to friend zone him, but he declined. He asks my opinion.
    If you have not read my book, “How To Be A 3% Man” yet, that would be a good starting place for you. It is available in Kindle, iBook, Paperback, Hardcover or Audio Book format. If you don't have a Kindle device, you can download a free eReader app from Amazon so you can read my book on any laptop, desktop, smartphone or tablet device. Kindle $9.99, iBook $9.99, Paperback $29.99 or Hardcover 49.99. Audio Book is Free $0.00 with an Audible membership trial or buy it for $19.95. Here is the link to Audible to get the audiobook version:
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Комментарии • 67

  • @CoachSteveJandS
    @CoachSteveJandS 2 месяца назад +63

    After 20years , coach is essentially a black belt in women. You can't reach that level by failing to study the art consistently... 💪🏼🥋

    • @ErnestoMaldonado-mq8mx
      @ErnestoMaldonado-mq8mx 2 месяца назад +4

      If it's this difficult whereas one must be PhD educated on how to attract women then what's the point?
      It's easy to see why prostitution is the oldest profession because long ago society devised a way to just skip the BS.

    • @TornadoOfSouls777
      @TornadoOfSouls777 2 месяца назад +2

      @@ErnestoMaldonado-mq8mx Coach has said that is an option. Always has been but it's a shallow one- akin to masterbation

    • @ErnestoMaldonado-mq8mx
      @ErnestoMaldonado-mq8mx 2 месяца назад +2

      @@TornadoOfSouls777 Yeah, but if it's going to get to the point where a guy has to burn himself out financially and psychologically then it'll be worth exploring those alternatives.
      It's too much.

    • @TornadoOfSouls777
      @TornadoOfSouls777 2 месяца назад

      @@ErnestoMaldonado-mq8mx I hear you bro

  • @RogueHero
    @RogueHero 2 месяца назад +61

    One thing I've learned from listening to the book multiple times and life experience is that self respect is everything. The moment a woman doesn't pursue you for whatever reason it is best to start keeping your options open because when a chick is feeling you she will go above and beyond to make sure you know it. Good video coach !!!

    • @evanhiggins7298
      @evanhiggins7298 2 месяца назад +7

      And you need to ask good quality questions when she's onto you

    • @thanosforever
      @thanosforever 2 месяца назад +1

      It’s all about creating a safe fun space for her to be in and accepting that although she’ll show all her love to you, at some point that could end, and it won’t last forever, even if she says how much she loves and wants to be with you forever, you could smile and enjoy that little moment, because we as 3% men know that it could possibly not last forever.
      And that’s the sad truth about being a 3% man.
      Nothing lasts forever, so you enjoy it while it does, and we get to bear the pain others can’t, but enjoy the moments we got with her, while she’ll leave at some point or lose feelings and get to enjoy it with someone else.
      But us? We’ll remain unperturbed, knowing that we’ll enjoy that again with someone else and that in the process we’ll keep our dignity because we never went after her.
      And she’ll be back. They always come back to 3% men.

    • @seanc546
      @seanc546 2 месяца назад +1

      @@thanosforever I have heard so many times the whole,"I want to see you more", or compliments how I make her feel, and the future plans. I need to be better at reminding myself that she is just being in her feelings at that moment. Looking back, I'm amazed how quickly things changed with the various women who said these things.

    • @Shotbykreature
      @Shotbykreature 2 месяца назад

      @@thanosforeverthat’s some real shit

    • @christopher-yi3rm
      @christopher-yi3rm 2 месяца назад

      @@seanc546 women are dating online eveyday so they heard it over and over,theyre just going through the motions with each man,theyve done it so many times ,its just acting how he talks or txts,they say the same words to every man they date. one girl says the same as every girl if she is very attracted to you she removes all the tests obstacles and gets with you straight away no waiting,

  • @ModernDatingMastery
    @ModernDatingMastery 2 месяца назад +27

    *When you constantly chase, it can make her feel like you're not respecting her boundaries or your own time. Healthy relationships thrive on mutual effort, not one-sided pursuit.*

  • @Champ1988
    @Champ1988 2 месяца назад +36

    Once you experience what it's like to have options and women chasing you; it's easy to empathize with some of the annoyances that women deal with. If you just reverse engineer it, I'm sure most of you can think to times where you've been turned off by a woman doing too much. It's the same thing for women. And it's worse if her attraction is in the 50-65% range. If she's 70-90%, you might be able to course correct. But typically, a woman who isn't that attracted to you will be gone fairly quickly with this type of behavior.

  • @TornadoOfSouls777
    @TornadoOfSouls777 2 месяца назад +41

    "Act like a b1tch, get treated like a b1tch"
    don't be that guy, my friends..

    • @christopher-yi3rm
      @christopher-yi3rm 2 месяца назад

      women,girls keep in touch with theryre exs some females keep in touch of all of theyre exs others keep in touch of most of theyre exs, they call it, checkup on each other?

  • @simonthepukkapieman1387
    @simonthepukkapieman1387 2 месяца назад +16

    Best way to make her interested again and reach out is cut your contact, get seen with attractive women, having fun and doing interesting things, traveling etc.
    If you start doing that you will forget about her anyway fairly quickly and if you weren't a complete turn off she will reach out.

  • @onlyriffs2589
    @onlyriffs2589 2 месяца назад +4

    Thank you for being consistent. Ive followed you now for over 8 years. Read the book over n over and also “Mastering Yourself”!! Thank you sir.

  • @sean97712
    @sean97712 2 месяца назад +14

    New to Corey’s work and shocker, in my dating history every girl I’ve ever been into I did exactly what he says not to do and every girl I’ve been lukewarm on I’ve acted like the book says to

  • @RamiroFernandez-k5d
    @RamiroFernandez-k5d 2 месяца назад +13

    As soon as I start getting a feeling that the girl is taking a bit longer to reply than she used to, I remove more of my attention and get busy.

  • @jeaglejj
    @jeaglejj 2 месяца назад +15

    I don’t think he left an item at the gym; he probably noticed her energy was off when he first talked to her, panicked, and made an excuse to go back and “run into her”, then went for the kiss to feel better about the situation, it’s a very smothering move and she knew he was being needy “illusion of action”

  • @ClaytonMacDonald-r5w
    @ClaytonMacDonald-r5w 23 дня назад +1

    When I realised I had always chased my mother's love , and that I continued to chase that love in women, my perspective changed. I made an effort to heal my relationship with mom, and succeeded. She's now one of my best friends. Now I feel validated internally. I don't need a woman to tell me I'm lovable. I know my worth and I respect myself so I don't chase chicks anymore. I'm the prize. Men like me are rare

  • @RogueTitan457
    @RogueTitan457 2 месяца назад +1

    My parents were hard on me when I was a kid, now I know why. They were trying to prepare me for the world and “toughen me up”. Looking back now, I’m glad they did

  • @bobbyoriaikhi3272
    @bobbyoriaikhi3272 2 месяца назад +5

    Thanks coach. This Is hard but distractions are important. I like to distract myself with family, friends, and video games, when my girl gets distant

  • @daveblackman816
    @daveblackman816 2 месяца назад +9

    I think this one is just chalked up to a learning experience. I did something similar in my early 20s. It happens. The fact that he had 5 women interested is a good sign. Just don’t over pursue like he did with this one.

  • @thelt247
    @thelt247 2 месяца назад

    Coach! Thank you for being there for all the men, they really need to hear these things. I enjoy listening as well. You're the best♡

  • @jameshunt3504
    @jameshunt3504 2 месяца назад +5

    Unfortunately, my mother died when I was 12 years so it has taken me many years to learn what he's explaining to you, gentlemen, but now that I'm 51 years young and I look like I'm 31.I'm told by people all the time.I guess I'm doing something right.....
    Besides learning how to master not only myself but others😂😜✌️🇺🇲💪🏽😎👊🏼💥 best of luck. Love & respect yourself First always gentleman.

  • @travislindsey8645
    @travislindsey8645 Месяц назад +4

    My dad always has called this the 51 49 rule. She has to want you 51 and you want her 49

  • @jammerstud99
    @jammerstud99 2 месяца назад +1

    Spot on. I'm still learning right now.

  • @TylerOwen-ik3ci
    @TylerOwen-ik3ci Месяц назад

    Trust me i know.. more they pursue the more i reflect to you.

  • @FtwBohl
    @FtwBohl 2 месяца назад

    Love you coach. Thanks for everything that you do for us.

  • @user-yq4cd2ux8k
    @user-yq4cd2ux8k 2 месяца назад +6

    As a woman in NYC, I feel like everything you’re saying about the woman in this video applies to all of the men here. They can’t stand receiving too much attention from a woman and always lose interest and have too many options…I would love to see a man pursue consistently for once lol

    • @rameau1124
      @rameau1124 2 месяца назад

      A woman I’m interested in - who’s giving me a lot of attention - is on the Autism spectrum. The rules vary according to the situation, but consistency is key I agree.

  • @swczn4994
    @swczn4994 2 месяца назад +1

    Omg so accurate it could be about me. After 1 year I am better, but still fcked it up 2 weeks ago exactly like this guy. It is very difficult for me not to be obssesing

  • @tumelophalane450
    @tumelophalane450 2 месяца назад +7

    First🎉. Hey coach

  • @sliggoon
    @sliggoon 2 месяца назад

    Thanks for all your help over the years coach 💪 guiding young pimps the right way

  • @seanc546
    @seanc546 2 месяца назад +2

    This video reinforces the lesson of going slow, and having other things going on in your life so the woman is not the focus. I did exactly what this dude did 2 years ago, and while I believe she had unresolved issues resulting from her divorce, I still see how I chased her off. I am 3 dates in with a woman right now, really like her, and will be constantly reminding myself to let things go the pace it's meant to.

    • @sorrinsorin9885
      @sorrinsorin9885 18 дней назад

      How things go?

    • @seanc546
      @seanc546 17 дней назад +1

      @@sorrinsorin9885 sadly it ended, she was insecure, clearly had trust issues as a result of a past trauma. Instead of being a big girl and talking over what was going on in her head about, she opted to just break it off. I wasn’t about to try any harder than I already did to reassure her. I also admit, I could’ve done a better job of showing intent and my attraction towards her. I played it too cool. It just wasn’t meant to be, already moving on to the next.

  • @diesdasananas69
    @diesdasananas69 2 месяца назад

    This video is gold.

  • @mavrk.d
    @mavrk.d 2 месяца назад +7

    It’s getting real painful hearing these stories after reading your book so many times knowing how to fix the issue. Have some self respect men and put your pride aside. Read the book 10-15 times then at least 1-2 times a year after.

  • @CodyDouglas-mq7hw
    @CodyDouglas-mq7hw 2 месяца назад +2

    been hanging out with this girl for about 10 months non exclusive, she always asks who texting me, tries to look at my phone screen to see who texting, etc. why does she do this is she doesent want more?

    • @CodyDouglas-mq7hw
      @CodyDouglas-mq7hw 2 месяца назад

      also same girl keeps asking me what i'm doing for new years, even though i told her i had no plans taking it easy. is this her trying to get me to ask her to do something? she said she not a big new years fan so she will probably just hang with her family

  • @LanguageKing333
    @LanguageKing333 2 месяца назад +3

    I have a question for any person who can relate. I know logically there are many women available out there, but what if you have an uncommon skill that isn’t relatable to most women? For instance I have a skill where I can pick up languages pretty easily, I can speak 20 at a conversation level. But when I speak to women about it, they can’t relate since most only speak English. I love to hear comments from any other guys who have been in this situation, where you have an uncommon skill and it’s just not relatable to a lot of women. Because I have been applying the info in the book, and I’ve met women who are attractive but I also feel the void if they can’t relate.❤

    • @silvermine2033
      @silvermine2033 2 месяца назад

      Perhaps you're introducing your skill in the wrong way and let them see it in action. For instance, maybe set up a date for dinner in China town for example, some place where few people speak English and order dinner in their native language. My father was a 3 time Olympic fencer and he always said that outside the sport nobody cared or was impressed lol

    • @LanguageKing333
      @LanguageKing333 2 месяца назад

      @ thanks for the advice. Was your mom as interested in it as much as him? How was she able to relate?

    • @silvermine2033
      @silvermine2033 2 месяца назад

      @@LanguageKing333 To my understanding, she didn't care anything at all about his sport since she wasn't into sports at all even to this day, but my father was well traveled at that point and they both liked to travel a lot together.

  • @toshiromifune5118
    @toshiromifune5118 2 месяца назад +3

    What if after a couple months of dating & getting busy so couldn’t hang for a few weeks & she reaches out repeatedly but doesn’t set a date or comes over saying she’s busy with friends? She’ll text a video of her pup even. She does talk crap about her father so that may explain things 😂

  • @boujeedagoat8397
    @boujeedagoat8397 2 месяца назад +4

    Bring back the OG intro

  • @thanosforever
    @thanosforever 2 месяца назад +3

    It’s all about creating a safe fun space for her to be in and accepting that although she’ll show all her love to you, at some point that could end, and it won’t last forever, even if she says how much she loves and wants to be with you forever, you could smile and enjoy that little moment, because we as 3% men know that it could possibly not last forever.
    And that’s the sad truth about being a 3% man.
    Nothing lasts forever, so you enjoy it while it does, and we get to bear the pain others can’t, but enjoy the moments we got with her, while she’ll leave at some point or lose feelings and get to enjoy it with someone else.
    But us? We’ll remain unperturbed, knowing that we’ll enjoy that again with someone else and that in the process we’ll keep our dignity because we never went after her.
    And she’ll be back. They always come back to 3% men.
    Our masculinity and lack of chasing once she leaves and knowing how to walk away and mean it will suddenly become attractive to her, and thus the circle continues.
    The circle of a 3% man.
    And what do we do again?
    We just hang out, have fun, and hook up
    And so on and so forth.

  • @SalahBinTaleb-re1di
    @SalahBinTaleb-re1di 2 месяца назад

    Thanks

  • @ambiguoususername2966
    @ambiguoususername2966 2 месяца назад +6

    For the algorithm

  • @maethewmih
    @maethewmih 2 месяца назад

    Can one just do this after many years? Let loose the smothering nd overpursuing, at old age? After decades of emotional control, can one just cut loose the dopey hounds and overpursue then? Nagging love? Can she run away when both are 70 ? Or is she bound to endure the loving over emotionality then? Telling her 10 times a day how she is the ONE ? When can one egotistically ,bucketlist of life , love the shhht out of a woman?

  • @christopher-yi3rm
    @christopher-yi3rm 2 месяца назад +1

    women keep in touch with most or all of theyre exs,by phone calls or txting, they call it checkup on each other, but the exs keep nagging the exs to take them back or just hookup and then leave her straight after hooking up.

  • @steven1671
    @steven1671 2 месяца назад +6

    I’m done with all of these games. If I can’t love a woman with all of my heart, and I have to “tone it down” and play these mindgames, then I’m not truly being myself. I’d rather be alone for a lifetime than pretend to be someone I’m not. I have so much love to give, if the women of this world don’t want it, then I’m in the wrong world.

    • @tycobandit
      @tycobandit 2 месяца назад +3

      Sounds like you’ve seen too many Disney movies and rom coms. Learn to define yourself outside of popular media and learn some emotional independence.

    • @steven1671
      @steven1671 2 месяца назад +1

      @@tycobandit Love includes having an emotional connection to someone else, meaning you’re not emotionally independent anymore. That’s what makes it special but also risky. You sound like someone who’s never been in love before.
      I have had experiences where I loved someone with all my heart, and they loved me back the same, and it was amazing. Definitely more than just a Disney movie. Art imitates life after all.
      But there’s something wrong with the people I’ve been dating. They think dudes who’ve spent time
      In jail are “sexy”, they think loyalty and commitment are “red flags”. They think men who sleep around are husband material. I know what type of man modern women are attracted to, and I refuse to be that man. Being myself is more important to me than trying to be what women want.
      I wish the women out there would just love me for me, flaws and all. Because that’s what love is. All of my friends and family, even the dogs I’ve grown up with, understand this. Literal dogs have loved me more than most of the women I’ve dated. That’s wild. It’s ridiculous, but I’m past that now.

    • @tycobandit
      @tycobandit 2 месяца назад +7

      @@steven1671 Yeah, you need some serious deprogramming. There’s a huge difference between love and attraction. It also sounds like you’re focusing on your unhealthy attachments. Attachments are not connections. You’re not really loving or connecting with anybody with that kind of mentality. And women can see right through that.

    • @steven1671
      @steven1671 2 месяца назад

      @@tycobandit Ok, now you’re just using a lot of psychology jargon slop to try and “get” me, and now this conversation is becoming unproductive. Attachment vs connection? Why does it matter? Love vs attraction? We could argue about abstract concepts that aren’t actually real, all day long. But I will leave you with this: women don’t see through anything. I don’t buy the narrative that women have a “sixth sense” that allows them to see through men. So many women go through divorces, have children with men outside of wedlock. They marry drug addicts, have sex and use the “rhythm method” as “birth control” and get pregnant anyways. I wouldn’t think women were capable of seeing through a frosted window. I wouldn’t trust their judgment enough to let them run a barbershop. You’re definitely wrong on that last point, is what I’m saying. If they’re so perceptive, why do they make such bad decisions? And then not hold themselves accountable afterwards, robbing themselves of growth and maturity?

    • @steven1671
      @steven1671 2 месяца назад

      @@tycobandit Oh they can? Oh I see. Gotcha.

  • @christopher-yi3rm
    @christopher-yi3rm 2 месяца назад +1

    so when a man is in a good mood and having a really great day and he is dating a woman and tells her how really good his day is witho stating how, the women say ,well she really dont care how your day is and she do not want to know that your having a really good day and happy. she is not interested if your happy or not ,she jjust dont care. all she cares about is whether she is happy or not ,even when the man is trying to be fun and humorous,she just dont care,she has no patience for men she is dating and gets angry easily, having boyfriends round her vall the time get on he nerves,thats why she keeps becoming single?

  • @WillowMoriarty
    @WillowMoriarty 2 месяца назад +1

    Have to say I'm a woman and things that you are saying is so wrong.The one if I woman that shows more interested a man. Da less interested in her means that she's more into the prize. Or to catch herself. Just like a guy who's after the girl who is not interested in him. He's more after the catch or the prize, not the girl. It's the chase that they're both after. Once you catch it, then you lose it. You just dropped the ball. You didn't let you walk away. You lose interest. The interest comes from the person personality not by catching somebody