5 Types Of People You Should Stop Being Friend With - A Zen Story | Wisdom in Words
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- Опубликовано: 7 авг 2023
- 5 Types Of People You Should Stop Being Friend With - A Zen Story | Zen Wisdom
"Join us on a transformative journey of wisdom and compassion with the enchanting tale of Koji and Alex, a story that unveils the power of choosing our friends wisely and embracing selflessness. In a quaint village, the revered Zen monk, Koji, imparts profound teachings to troubled Alex, guiding him towards true happiness and fulfillment. Inspired by Koji's wisdom, Alex embarks on a path of self-discovery, learning to let go of toxic friendships and embrace compassion. Witness how a single act of kindness changes the life of a beggar, as Alex exemplifies the essence of Zen teachings. This heartwarming story reminds us that by cultivating positive qualities within ourselves, we can create a profound impact on our lives and the world around us."
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Energy vampires, envious souls, manipulators hidden agendas, constant complainers, non-supportive dream crushers. Focus on your own well-being.
If you filter out all these types, you’re left with a TINY percentage of decent, GOOD-WILLED, spiritual people to which you can befriend!
Robert from daytradingwiththelight
Indeed. Been feeling the energy vampire person. Such bad experience
And then there's the narcissists and there are 4 types of them!!! Same with toxic always negative people too! Whom mascarade like docile sheep on the outside appearance but inside they are wolves aka predators and full of darkness and death within.. Beware the wolves aka predators! Narcissists are the very worst tho!!! They come from the pits of sheol but wear a mask of deception... very much liken to a chameleon infact..outward show/disguise to fit their surroundings to game and ensnare their prey!
This in essence..revelations 13..beast from the land...
The Beast from the Earth...
11Then I saw another beast rising out of the earth. This beast had two horns like a lamb (gentile, kind, serene, docile) but spoke like a dragon aka serpent/snake aka nachash (aka ha satan aka the devil.. full of deceptions, lies, darkness and death within!)
Wow you described several relatives, Bad, worse, & sadist.
Yes I've had a foa ! With all these traits ! ☹️
Better learn to be alone
Yes!yes!and yes!💝💝💝
Love to be alone appreciate it💝😇
@@Embole-uk1tl😊😊0
My best friend is my dog 🐕 ❤
Exactly!
My best friend was my dog. Unfortunately she passed away, now I only have me.I have the Lord so I guess I'm not alone
Just remember; you can’t lose what you never had
Awwww❤
Yup, and if you had nothing you cannot lose it either.
Said another way, if you never had anything in the brain, which seems the case, you cannot lose it either.
My dearly departed mother once taught me, change your friends and watch your life change, stay away from negative people. she was right ,this video was well received 🤔😇👍💯🙏
Everything is negative in the world even the ppl just simply misunderstood…you can’t say anything or explain… just stay out of my life… because I have the power and I have the grudge
@@BushraTested well my dad had a saying to, any fool can make a rule and any fool will listen…. My mom saying follow God and he will direct your path…. NOW I’m the daughter of both very different but distinct people always in touch with humanity…
Problem is when your own parents are like this… and after your partner and his family too…
I am being tortured in this life…
YOUR MOTHER'S ADVISE YOU MUST TAKE ONLY IF SHE WAS A PURE SOUL..WHICH MEANS SHE DID NOT KILL ANIMALS AND EAT...
2ND..IF SHE DID NOT USE LEATHER.
3RD IF SHE NEVER LIED...
Then you are left without friends….
Remember too that you can be the toxic friend , Be what you are looking for
Even more important is at the same time learning to recognize these five aspects in ourselves and effect change through shadow work and self love/healing
"Self love..."...???
@@buahburke9912 not like that. Get your mind out of the gutter.🤣
Yes.❤️🧘❤️
Thankyou that was helpful. ❤️🐦
In my experience all the above is also applicable to family members and romantic partners. That’s sometimes even more challenging to process, but letting go you eventually must!
Sooner is always better imho. "Just walk away" is a good mantra followed by Sigma males and females.
So true. Unfortunately, my mum is a constant complainer for decades. I didn’t realize I have been so unhappy and depleted due to her, until I reduce contact with her.
Agreed. Had the same experience recently. After 50 years had to let go of someone very close to me who caused an awful lot of damage due to possessing many of these negative destructive traits. That was also my mother. Parents have a massive responsibility which if abused causes mayhem
To love oneself is the beginning of a life long romance ~ Oscar Wilde
Wilde is one of my favorite people of life
Self awareness= well being and growth
Oh my gosh, he also said a favorite quote of mine! Oh, hold on, it's Orson Welles. Same initials! "We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone." That quote breaks my heart!
That's why I was mostly a loner. I only had a couple of good friends throughout my early life❤🙏🙏🙏
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
Me too. It took a very bad incident to realize my friends are not my friends.
Likewise. In the end it is for the best. Mind how you go.
Just having a couple of real true friends certainly beat having hundreds of fake friends who only appear when they need your help.
1. Selfish-StingyType (Vampire-Always Take) 2. Unmoral-Bad Behaviour, Bad Manners, Crude-Foul Language & Unrespectful To Elderly or Sturborn Nature (unwilling to change what is bad) 3. Physopathic Mentality (No conscience-No feeling of wrong) 4. Envy & Jealousy 5. Unsupportive Of Your Work
👍🙏❤ I met a couple who tick these 5. I took me nearly 7 years to find out they are narcissists. I walked away from this friendship and find peace.
My mistake is I told my friends why I didn't want to be a part of the group anymore. Even 15 years later they hold a grudge against me, are defensive, and tell themselves their own reason as to why I left such as my mum causing problems. I know now it would have been best to quietly disappear.
Most people cannot handle honesty. I have done both, stay away with and without saying why. The first group (family) never bothered to contact me again because they knew exactly why I dissapeared, and some in the second group (friends) still reach out to me from time to time only to critize the fact that I'm keeping my distance.
I had once contemplated being fully honest too, out of respect for the friendship that once was. However, I eventually choose to disappear quietly from a long-time group, as I know they wouldn’t be emotionally mature to handle my opinion or honesty. As a result of it, we have remained as “acquaintances” with no “bad blood” and all’s good.
@@PersisP things change and ppl change. Problem is when others don't change with you and they don't want to let you go.
Yes dear. Some things are better left unsaid. Don't be hard on yourself , at least you learnt and would do better in a different situation. You can always make new friends
Good friends found us in bad situations and consistently stay with us and support ❤❤❤
if they are negative and complaining all the time then having a honest conversation would lead to hostility. I gave the benefit of the doubt to two such friends and now they would attack me. So they are not my friends. So in the future I just walk away. They dont deserve my explanation.
I’m surrounded by close family members who are a combination of many of these evil traits. It is emotionally draining 😢
Let them go, I did & of them are sibling females. I pray for them that's all I can do 🙏
@@memere1208Seems impossible when you Don't have any other choice due to generational poverty.
Let these people go...
the ex wife she is to me
I was just thinking the same thing about my family, too. I have gotten those toxic, envious, energy drainers out of my life and have reclaimed my dreams--the ones they crushed. More importantly, moving those negative people out of my life, made room for good, healthy, supportive, and balanced friends. I hope and wish the same for you, too. Peace & Blessings. 😁
"as you change, some friendships may naturally fade away" that happened to me a lot. Now I'm not sure if I really have any friends, maybe some acquaintances from my professional circles, but it gives me more time to focus on myself.
I think a lot of people are in this spot thanks to the "Covid-19 BS." What a shocker to see people I respected my entire life as pillars of wisdom fall flat on their faces in panic over the shadows cast by CNN!
It's not called "CNN Syndrome" for nothing, entire villages fell for it.
Imagine my SHOCK, as World Vision, who I donated to 'long time' sent pastors "of God" out to inject remote villagers, who instinctively knew better!
Imagine THEIR shock, as they noticed the angel of death visit more frequently, and they don't have ERs and Medi-Cal to lean on.
So evil. So many lies. The death dealer destroyed my life, and just trying to warn others has cost me so many friendships.
What a lesson, to try to save that 5-year-old whose mother will now believe it's "normal" to have diabetes or a heart attack-
AS A CHILD;
to be told "It's long-covid!" when even low IQ know "Sudden Adult Death Syndrome" didn't happen til the vax! What a freaking CROCK!
The Bible is entirely correct when it says that the devil comes to lie, kill & destroy.
And people who refuse to recognize that it also says, "Be wise as serpents & harmless as doves" will not learn about any wiles of the devil, thinking ignorance is bliss...
Hello! Why do you send your son to the military to learn to fight, but refuse him the spiritual wisdom needed to fight the greater danger he faces in everyone he meets?
"Fools and blind" is right, as Jesus said... and it takes one to know one.
Why do most of us learn the hardest way?
The pain of my mistakes haunts me daily.
Same boat ..
Same boat 2
I have divorced “friends”
And been divorced by a friend and had to be accepting although I sent one sided emails of content that would interest her
I had to stop and fade away
Accepting
A friend to everyone is a friend of no one.
Those who think they have loads of friends are simply deluding themselves .People who have little in life are more humble than those materialistic
A pitfall here is thinking only about how some of your friends may share in these faults without examining how YOU yourself can be a poor friend.
Facts! I realized that its not always others, but sometimes its me that need to make the necessary corrections.
I can say with 100% certainty I've never been jealous or judgemental of any of my friends. Till they treat me with disdain and expect me to carry 100% of the weight of doing everything. Me travelling from one country to another to see them , and then be expected to travel to their city , as they have mental problems. Well so do I. I'm 100% done with these 'friends' now.
This is the comment!! exactly right, we all have the potentiality to be all of these things at some point to someone. It’s important to be self aware 🙂
@@lucialuciferion6720exactly
How fortunate Lee is to have so many people around him that he can pick and choose who he associates with. Some of us are grateful to actually see one or two people in a week, never mind what Type they are. And if they take the time to talk to us, we're not going to trouble if they fall 'below the mark' in some respect. Control, envy, spite, gloom, criticism - ignore it all. Here I am and, on an amazingly good day, there they are, love their face!
The hardest part is the manner in which you separate yourself from them, especially if you’re extremely attached but at the same time know that they’re not any good to you. Like the video mentioned, allowing yourself to focus on your growth can sometimes naturally separate you from the toxic people in your life but if it doesn’t then you probably will have enough courage in you by then to tell them face to face.
I've found that once someone starts telling and preaching about being saved and the Gospel of God and Jesus Christ, negative people will gravitate AWAY from you.
You don’t have to be face to face. Just disappear and go no contact. You don’t owe them an explanation
@@phoenixrisin2269 my sentiments exactly! Manipulators gonna manipulate. Why put yourself through all of that stress?
@@phoenixrisin2269 great advise lol 🤣🤣 that worked for me
How insightful, now I know why I have few friends. I fit all 5 categories. I guess I better change my ways if I want more friends. I am 77 and when I worked, I had plenty of friends or perhaps acquaintances. My friends are my family, likely because they have no choice. But, trying to make new friends is exhausting. Takes a lot of time and my conversations with them are very limiting and not stimulating. I like people but they do interfer with my time with family and other interests. I am more and more comfortable with aloneness. I do not know if others are like me.
I think we all have to some extent the 5 qualities... I hope you're not beating yourself up about it ... We are here to learn lessons... I'm 64, when I was in my 20's & 30's, you would Never catch me alone!! Now, I love my alone time🏆
I love alone time and family time I’ve had some friends over the years in all the categories mentioned, like you that is why I like my own company I’m 55 👍
Freeloaders! FrEeLoAdErS!! FREELOADERS!!!
Do everything in your power to keep FREELOADERS out of your life.
Learn to say "NO" and ALWAYS remember: when giving to others, set limits and boundaries because FREELOADERS have no limits and boundaries when taking from others!
This,this, this!
Preach it! And Western 'education' teaches people, screw the Constitution, it's ok to be obnoxious, self-obsessed, damaged freaks:
"OMG, WHAT THAT GUY SAID HURT ME!! Put him in jail!"
Or bitching about "pronouns," lol, while they sic the f*qing FBI on a father whose daughter got raped -no- sodomized, by one of these useless he-shes in high school!WTF is wrong with society any more?! 😢
Thank you! I had one of those many years ago, and while I wish her the best life has to offer, these friends can be soul draining.
OMG.... Good point !
I have one best friend/soul sister. That’s it. Everyone else is who I have the energy for on that day, which is becoming less & less the older I get. As the luminous Tina Turner sang, “I don’t care who’s wrong of right, I don’t really want to fight no more”…
You are so blessed to have her. Mine died 9 years ago, and it has been a bloody long decade.
Same here 🎉🎉 If you treat me like a secondary choice, I'm out !!
Look for these types of people within yourself and not just your friends.
Very true,we should surround ourselves with people who are positive,genuine that could influence to become person😊😊😊😊
Very sad when you find out that all these people are your family members that you, for some odd reasons, separated yourself from when you were younger.
I have family like this. Haven't hung out with them since January. And have no desire
Some induviduals are all 5 types at once. When you're aware of this, they are easy to spot and stay away from.
The key to avoiding a crocodile is to know what it looks like and where they usually wait.
We are all not perfect but if one person exhibits all 5 of these traits ...it's time to call it a day. Better to focus on oneself and improvement .
Great advice. Recognizing these traits in others has led me to recognize negative traits in my own behaviour. Don't think I'll ever be perfect, but hopefully help me be the best that I can be to others.
I like the fact that master was willing to share his wisdom with Lee & Lee was willing to listen & acted upon his advice. Thankyou for sharing this Zen story with us. 💐
Very WISE Words.... I agree completely. I had to cut many ties in life, never looked back. I suggest everyone do the same. You do not give your energy away, for it will be taken away. Your Energy is Essential~
The 5 types of people you should stop being friends with is very helpful this i can use in my life, I have been in the same position.
Here's a subtle manipulation I experienced. I live on ten acres in the country. This guy I knew but was not friends with called one morning at 8 am. "Hi Mark, can I come over and talk to you." I was surprised but said ok. I offered him coffee which he turned down. He sat down and told me he wanted to move his 32' camper onto my property to live with me. I said no! He got up and left. Duh! Old buddy old pal.
Children should be taught this however it takes maturing to understand
Thank you
Blessings
You have spoken the Truth! I encountered once again these 5 types of people in the Chinese Buddhist Temple in Sunset Park, Brooklyn, that I happily left on 5/23/23. Since leaving, my health, energy levels, and finances are gradually improving. Blessings! 🙏🙏🙏❤❤❤💐
Its not easy nor possible when they are members of your immediate family living with you!
Yes it is. Kick em
Out
Not easy, but possible.
Love this...not only did it make me reflect on my relationships but more importantly helped me recognize how I can be more mindful about what kind of friend I am and what areas I need to improve on ..thank you
Same here!! I need to be working on less complaining 🎉
Welp! That covers just about everyone including work. I'll keep everything between God and I. 🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤
I had this such friend and I thankfully realized it at the end
you just described my 5 best friends.
Real change comes from within, such as the urge to grow and improve, when we let go of destructive and negative influnces we are certainly not losing 'friends'.
I really don't have any friends, just those who call me to, talk over me as i speak, and try to belittle me with their eyelids when we talk in person, and those who wrest my words, needless to i don't go out of my way to talk with them, and avoid them at all costs...
There are people i meet on the "street" who though only a breif conversation, i instantly mesh with, that give me inspiration and somehow lighten my load a little!
Makes me love my dogs and cats even more..... they are your friends, always there even wen we don't realise it,they will guide you to like minded people....🐉🐺🍄🐈⬛🙏🧿
Belittle with eyelids? What the heck does that mean..?😂😂😂
This is all very well and good, and I certainly don't disagree with it, but from a young age it felt as if I was surrounded by the wrong people everywhere I turned. I often made excuses for friends of mine who weren't great friends, because I'd searched high and low and hadn't found any better friends out there! I blamed myself, like, "My expectations of this friend are too high. I'm expecting more than anyone can give, because virtually everyone is focused only on their own best interests without caring about mine." Now that I'm in my mid-forties, I've FINALLY found good friends whom I value more than life itself. Freaking took long enough! I think that my point is that it can be hard to walk away from bad friends when that's the only kind of friend you've ever known! :o If it were as easy as choosing the good friends and the positive influences, I think we'd all choose correctly! But sometimes there aren't any good options available, for whatever reason! I just thank God that things have improved for me, since I value friendship above all else.
I like how back in the day they were talking about what we would call the five types of narcissists
Nam Mô A Di Đà Phật 🌷🙏
Basically, avoid all narcissists and psychopaths...and dump people like that from your life.
Thanks Master Way for your wisdom.
I stepped away from lazy losers. When I went to go get my bachelors degree, I started being around positive well spoken people who didn't sag their pants and smoke weed a lot. After a while I started being positive and my English classes finished the rest. I never looked back at the way I use to act.
This sounds a little... Uh... Ya know. Idk what sagging pants has to do with character flaws, but go off.
Now that the world is very egoistic and non-trustworthy. It’s better that you don’t need anybody. You can do anything on your own.
Finding the right people is more enriching than being alone, but is certainly challenging
@@jeremymacdonald5584 What is a right person to you? It is challenging.
It's scarey to die alone but people do it. ❤️❤️
Very good. We appreciate this channel, so we subscribed. My own journey began when I was quite young. Suffering and death became my companions before I was a man. Then I became a student, luckily my teachers were wise men that the Tao led me to. After many years I became the teacher. Along the way I learned a few things. Here are some of them, I hope that you find them useful to you.
1) Everyone can lead a full and balanced life. Each spoke in a wheel is important. A path is formed by treading it.
2) Be honest, do so without hurting anyone in any way. That is dharma.
3) Keep your word. Willpower comes from keeping your word.
4) Being kind to others is being kind to yourself.
5) Gratitude and forgiveness bring peace.
Here is a prayer I learned from the Guru.
"God protect me from my friends. From my enemies I can protect myself."
On your journey may peace be with you always. Keep your focus!
All the best.
Laoshr #60
Ching Yi Kung Fu Association
lately, i have found that seeing the best in people, hasn’t been always what is the best.. for them, or me.. graceful distancing and extrications feels best now.. has taken me a very long time and lots of heartache to even be able to see these types.. now i can
I think I have one friend like the one mentioned in the vid. He keeps boasting about his math solving skills and always gives people hard problems in maths that he knows but others don't . Then after they are not able to do them he brings their positive spirit down. I guess its time to end this kind of friendship.
Never be friends with the people who are friends with everyone. That's the only rule and you will go safe with this on all your ways.
I'm genuinely curious, why this rule? 🤔
Because they're not being authentic?
Thank you Master. I'm delighted to start my day with your wisdom.
So true.
Thank you.
This is exactly what I needed! Thank you!
Thank you. ❤🙏🏽
Small circle, private life and peace of mind!
Thank you 🙏
Thank you ❤❤❤
Thank you for uploading these videos!
Much value. Thank you
Very informative advice. Each and every person needs to hear. thank you for sharing
Thank you. 🎓👏
Honestly ,if I'd adhere to these there's nobody left, and there are very few non-toxic people in this world sadly, and they're wise enough to stick to solitude, so no friend making there 😄
That doesnt matter if it is for the best. The modern world of extreme consumerism, fake social media based community, drug addiction, mindless compliance to bullshit government rules and increasing ignorance, breeds toxicity en masse. It is now the way of the loner to retrieve some sanity and health.
Thanks for sharing these great insights.
What happens when these "friend's" attitudes and behaviours you speak of are actually my parent's actions, behaviours and attitudes. I've struggled most of my life with being alone and depressed because of this. As I venture into my 40's I find it more and more heavy to deal with and feel I'm running out tools to help me get through it mentally. I admire people with mental fortitude!... but that's all I can do it seems, from afar. I'm obviously weak.
Go to therapy if you can. It was transformative for me. There is a solution to every problem you have
What a sad story.
Beautifully told story. Thank you. Looking forward to taking this lesson into my life. 💕🙏🤩
Words of Wisdom!
Speaks SO much to my professional life currently!
So true,personal experience.❤
This list is too short! ;) I've always instinctively steered clear of these kinds of people (except the manipulators - that one can take a while to discern if they are skilled at it), but what has been tougher for me to let go of is people who I can have a great time with, but then slowly realize that they exhibit one or more of these behaviors: not taking responsibility for their actions / owning their mistakes, not keeping promises, not communicating, and not contributing a reasonable effort towards maintainence.
I'm dealing with a friend right now, who I feel, has never taken responsibility for his shit, in the year since I've known him .. We've talked about things he does/ doesn't do that upset me BUT then turns the conversation back to himself & what a great friend he is... 🤯 I'm learning to Let go & Let God 😇
Thankful
So greatly said 👍😊😍
Very important life lesson
And that is why I have no friends at all. Being alone probably the best for me until the true ones come in.
That's exactly what I am doing now too.
I need this in my life
Remember, BEING a good friend to others is the most important...
Both are important
Insightful ❤
May all of you and your love ones be blessed in ALL THINGS GOOD ❤❤❤
It's not an easy circumstance when one's relatives fall into many of these categories
It’s necessary
Very very right
Beautiful wisdom 👼🏻🌈😇
Interesting. Sounds like every working environment I've ever worked in.
Wonderful life points💕💕💕💕💯
Thanks dear friend, soooooo much love n blessings for you n ur family, God bless dear ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😇😇😇😇😇😇🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
I did this about two years ago, I got rid of the energy vampire , feel so much better, it took 20 years, but I walk away.
These are very true 👍🏻💯 it's why most of the time I'm alone, and If I have to deal with people/ "friends" I deal with them in very small dosage...at arm's length. It sux, but unfortunately people are sick. Example I bought a new car once and for some reason my mate in a few hours turned on me? I'm thinking to myself "you just bought your self a new mint car, why are you getting twisted because I'm happy that I bought a new car for myself? It's very strange right...I don't understand people sometimes. It's like he is the only one who could be happy and buy a new car for himself...smh...
I keep most at arms length 👍best way to be 👍had lots of toxic friends and now I love being alone, it’s so much better for my soul I’m 55 love my space !
This is wise and good advice!
🙏💖♾ thanks for the help to understand
Now i know that my natural thoughts are very clear .
Creative play is crucially 🔑 ❤️
Great vid. !!! A bit off topic, but I love the voice-over presenter's voice, Wow, so soothing and warm and kind voice. 💞
All this is truth❤
Master Lee is a very wise man. Behind that wide sparkling smile often lies an envious little man filled with jealousy, lust and greed. : (
True friends are rare and should be appreciated for a lifetime.
Wow.!!!!
Excellent video!
This is true
This is so very true because I been in there