Zak, thank you so much for your thoughts in this subject. I remember a few years ago when I finally started to realize that I was gay, but was so conflicted because I had been married over 10 yrs at this point and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt my wife and all the people around me. I was singing in a men's chorus that was mostly gay and many of the guys had been where I was so being with the guys was my sanctuary, but there were a couple of guys who were constantly pushing me to come out and I had this fear they would just out me. So I'm eternally thankful to all of these guys who stood by me as I found my way and finally got the courage to tell my wife and my family. The next few months as we worked through a divorce were pretty tense, but my family was behind me all the way as well as the guys in the chorus. Today, almost 4 yrs later my ex and I are best of friends and life is great. I'm still single and have dated a little, but not feeling any pressure to find someone. I love your videos and love how things have progressed between you and Alistair. I hope someday I will have the same love in my life! Until then, I will just enjoy the fact that I can be me and people around me support and love me. Keep the great content coming!!
I love this story. I might never relate to finding myself in a life that isn't authentically me, but I'm fascinated by these types of stories. I'm so happy for you and that you found the courage to be you
I suggest you should have helped "rob" get there together. Could have saved him years of pain & lost time being fake, maybe saving ur girl friend too. Im always thinking in a community minded ways... I volunteered for years at a gay switchboard in Philly back in the 90's....the saddest / emotional calls were always guys like him who got married to women, had kids etc... with severe regrets. #acceptloveyourselfalways
Sleekcartim .sleekcartim these stories are satisfying in an eerie way. Not saying I enjoy sad stories of people with regrets. But these are such real topics that you can't argue with. I would say step in and help out also. Ask what they want to do. And make them realize what will happen depending on their choice.
John well you really only get one life, that reality sinks in to your depths eventually, but then its often too late. Try to learn from other guys mistakes....maybe some of you are starting to realize what community can really mean to your life.... #KeystoLife
Oh man, this is such a hard decision. Guess you can't really say what you'd do until your in the situation yourself, but I'm leaning more towards telling the girl. Procrastination can lead to such a long road ahead, and you never know how long that guy could string her along.
I've been in a situation where I've actually had a guy like tht n no matter how hard it was for me I did not tell the girl it's been really tempting but it's not my business at tht point and I got over it and realized I deserved better and I got better 💕 and I'm happy 😊 karma will deal with him accordingly lol
Husband and Husband: I have to agree with telling her. Of course this is what I'd do, and in no way do I look down at Zach for doing what you thought was right for you dude. My thing though is this girl who is being misled by someone who's dating her is basically a facade. It's not fair to her for the guy to use her. I've seen to many gay men do this and next thing you know he finally comes out when the kids leave for college or sooner. Can't imagine a life like that. So I'd of told her lol...but that's me
james46911 I completely agree, I feel that many people think it's just something they see on TV about gay men coming out to their wives and kids. It's probably 2 out of 10 families whether they tell or not. Its unfortunate. My best advice is do what you personally think is right
My dad came out to my mum ten years into their marriage. Not sure if anyone knew about my dad's sexuality beforehand - but judging by all the hardship my mum, family and even my dad went through over all the years - I wish that someone had told her beforehand. then again - i'm happy to be alive woop woop
I think you did the right thing. Sometimes doing the right thing is not always the easiest thing to do. It’s obvious that those people were truly not your friends to begin with. Move on to bigger and better things and new friends. Karma.....how they treated you will come back to them. It may not happen today or tomorrow, but it all comes back to them eventually. Thanks for all your great videos. Keep your head up! Love ya buddy!
You made the correct choice, as confidentiality is everything, as it mirrors the identity and character and those who share it!!! Adults grow through the experiences and relationships they have, Relationships in dating have unspoken boundaries and as such, they should be upheld. IF THEY CAN DATE, THEY MUST BE PREPARED TO ACCKNOLAGE CARICTOR FLAWS IN THEMSELVES AND IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP IF DISCOVERED IN THE PROCESS. HOLDING THEMSELVES TO ACCOUNT FOR HAVING ENTERED THE RELATIONSHiP IN THE FIRST PLACE. Self-discovery can be a painful place to be in.
You did right. You should never out anyone, that is their truth to accept and share when they are ready. I had a friend who was HIV+ and I knew he was being unsafe with his boyfriend and I contacted a local HIV/AIDS organization in the area and spoke to a legal representative their about it. I was told not to say anything because he could in turn sue me for telling his personal medical history. I really hated it but said nothing. My best friend who also knew them both kind of hinted around about it in front of the boyfriend and he eventually figured it out, he turned out to be negative thankfully. I only told this story because sometimes while morally right it may not be legal. Your "friend" could have very well sued you for emotional distress had you outed him. Love your videos, keep up the positivity. 😁😘🌈
What if the woman sued for emotional distress by him not telling her he's gay? What if your friend sued you for knowing he was sleeping with an hiv+ person, but you didn't tell him?
I also grew up in AL and gay. This channel was just recommended to me. I was closeted the entire time I was in AL and just assumed I was the only gay person in the city/state/world/universe. I moved out of AL and did a lot of growing up/traveling. Thanks for making this channel just as that nice reminder I was never actually alone there, just scared.
Those people who didn't accept you, then they weren't truly your friends. Your friend (the girl) that not fair to her to be lead on. There are so many people living double lives and not being their authentic self, this hurt our community. By not living their authentic life they hurt themselves and others. I seen many who married the opposite sex, have kids and they come out and causes a lot of pain and heart ache. Live is short everyone, live your authentic life! Keep up with the videos Zach, your videos help those that are struggling. Have a great day! :)
Yep, had my group A back in early high school and group B at the end of high school. Unfortunately, my relationship with group A pretty much came to a screeching halt, like asteroid hitting Earth bad. Sadly though, I've been unable to make any gay relationships or even find other gay friends at all, still none to this day either. Everyone in my group B of friends is straight and they've been very accepting, but hanging with only straight people makes it hard for me to have any sense of self identity or something like that. Want to let you know though that I really appreciate you uploading your videos, you and many others like you on RUclips do help me have some sense of identity and kind of a window to the world I belong in but can't quite find a way into.
You did the right thing, let people work out their own problems. I understand all those early stages since I went trough the same experience when I started College.
My ex boyfriend turned out to be gay. I didn't find out until a mutual friend told me about it a few years after our relationship had come and gone. I know a lot of girls might have felt it as a hit to their self esteem, but I honestly just though it was hilarious. At the time I was dating him I *thought* I was straight too but now I know that I'm bisexual. I'm currently dating a girl too, and we're pretty serious. What a humorous picture. We both thought we were straight, and are both now pursuing members of the same sex.
You did the right thing Zack. Even though the seperation from others was the end result. Thats ok because the story dosen't end there. The people who stopped talking to you wil either change or fade off into their own direction in life. Being lonely can come from many circumstances and it does hurt so bad. You discover a new person which developes into another person and before you know it, you have a new circle of friends. I've been there. My new experience with being Gay will be a new chapter since realizing it recently. Now I have a relationship with my fience' as an international couple. He will be joining me here this summer. I have to thank you and look forward to hearing more of your experiences.
A very strong and exciting story. Very sad everyone has stopped talking to you. Me and Jeyme also have our difficulties, but we are together and we will continue with our dreams. A hug for you and Alistair!
Being in that situation, dating girls to cover up being gay, I kinda wish somebody had outed me. It would have saved a lot of years of hiding and suffering. It's certainly a hard decision. Once you survive coming out it's an indescribable feeling of freedom.
yeah all that time (some of the best years for young guy) wasted, hurting urself & others as you go too, so sad. I suggested zach should have tried to be his friend & help him accept himself, that would have been the community minded guy i am would do. Maybe make a friend for life helping get there. #GoodKarma
having worked as a practitioner in the medical field i will say that i have very stern and definite feelings regarding this subject. i have had to look into the eyes of countless men, women and children (born infected or by molestation) who have had to suffer the pain, indignity and emotional trauma of contracting std's from people with attitudes like "what someone doesn't know won't hurt them", or "there isn't anything to say until there is something to say". especially painful are children who are born with hiv and now incurable forms of syphilis and gonorrhea and will suffer these things the rest of their lives because "it's nobody else's business what happens in the bedroom" or "it's just sex" if you are in a commited relationship and have an "open" policy that is one thing. however if you are sleeping around behind someone's back, you are taking their life into your hands without their consent, no different than driving a car wrecklessly while your passengers have no control over your actions. one wrong move and you are all dead. everyone who knows me understands i am completely intolerant to sexual dishonesty, manipulation or deception. "bro code" gets people sick and dead... if you want to be loose, whatever, just be open and honest about it. on the other hand we no longer live in a world where naivete is completely excusable. if you are a parent educate your children to the hard and scary truth about sexual dangers. as an adult treat every circumstance as a potential for sicknesses and get tested before sexual activity no matter what and require others to do so also if they want to be with you. std infection has been tripling in rate every year for the past five years especially in the gay community. it used to be like playing russian roulette with several different guns at once but only one gun had single bullet. now it's like playing with one gun where there are only three empty chambers out of six. the attitude of "oh there's a pill for that" is completely foolish and stupid. thought processes like that would completely change if the people who think that way would have to watch the process of someone in treatment slowly withering over a matter of years until finally their secret life kills them or the ones they wrongfully infected. i tell men and women all the time "wrap it or wack it". as far telling someone that their partner is cheating... i have done it and do not regret it. the two people i had to do it with both ended up hiv positive within a year of the issue where they probably would have infected their unwitting partners. what you don't know can kill you. wake up people and start doing right by yourselves and others. sex isn't a pastime activity.
beachesboy1994 yes exactly. happiness is never fulfilled when we serve ourselves. it only comes when we are authentic and our genuine behavior goes out from us like a seed that gets planted into the hearts and minds of those beyond us and when it matures within them it comes back as fruit for us. living life running from consequences is lived fast and shallow. but one done with the idea of accountability gives a deeper, happier meaning at the end.
I use to have two sets of friends as well. I hated it. But even now, I don't have any set of friends. I think as you get older, you find friends regardless of sexuality, and it's great. Thanks for sharing sir.
As always, great vid. You do bring up some thinkers quite often. I've always known I was gay and always believed I had no right to lead a woman on with pretense. It's been mentioned a few times in the comments how unfair it is to cheat that time from someone who is looking for a life long relationship. The biggest aspect is STD's. That said, I've had time in relationships that I didn't see a future in simply to avoid being a lone. That's not a fair situation either. We all walk our own path so to tell a woman her man is gay may not be a role we take on. Unless there is knowledge of certain harm, I think to a degree, their path was put in play for some unknown reason.
Came across your channel today...spent way too much time viewing old videos.......it was your voice and charm that kept me coming back for more. Enjoyed.....sponsors are fine.....drive on man.
Zack, you and Alistair are two of the most honest, sincere people I have come across on the internet. I'm blessed by having the privilege to see your videos, and thereby, a small glimpse into your beautiful lives. Although I am 60 years older than either of you, I see things in your lives that I wish I had experienced in my own - and I thank you for your sharing and showing by example how beautiful the relationship between two men can be. Bless you both.
Thanks for your videos, Zach! When I watch them I feel like I'm visiting with a friend who is very genuine, sincere and accepting; there should be more people like you in the world! May God bless you, B and Alastair! :-)
You did exactly the right thing, even though your friend dropped you. Everyone has to deal with who they are, telling the girl would not have done anything for anyone. Love your blog and rooting for you and your guy!! What your talking about, how it feels to be alone, gay and not k owing what to do is so important, like many others I went through it and just really did understand. You're making a difference.
That's a tough situation. You did the right thing for not saying anything to the girl since they had to work it out between themselves. It sucks, but that's the way things goes. I've met people whom were married and came out later which devastated both sides but more on the woman side (gay guy, straight woman). She was ended up being his friend since they have a kid and remarried, but for a while, she blamed him for wasting years where she could have been truly happy once she realized she was a placeholder for him. I took this as an example for myself to not do anything like that despite what society said. Growing up in a conservative city in Texas makes you think things. I am glad I got my perspective from their experience. Based on that, if you cannot convince the guy not to do what he did, well, he will have to carry that with him until he decides it's time. Sucks for any girls out there in this situation, but a lot of times, they may come to their own conclusion about it before even before the guy does. Just like others have said, if it's an abusive relationship, that's a different story.
I don't often comment but I have to say THANK YOU! Thank you for your courage and candid honesty. For someone who is so young yet so rich with insight. I'm so pleased that I stumbled across your Vlog. Great Job man. Keep up the good work.
I would tell the girlfriend mostly to protect her. Yeah it's gonna hurt today, but since he's not being honest doesn't mean you have to lie to her as well. I have no respect for a guy who's gonna drag a girls feeling through the ditch while he's finding himself.
This freaking channel is the best; idk what I'd have done. It's messed up to out someone but it's more messed up to let your friend date a gay guy while you just sit on that info. It's a tough one
i love your soul , i admire that i started following you because you are eye candy but now i can see more into your soul and find out you are as much nice as your body ! i love you zack , i think you did the right thing, i have been gone throw that phase to cure my loneliness and dating all the time guys , i love you
Yes- I agree with the comments saying - 'Don't interfere or intervene' in someone else's relationships. It is best to keep out of other peoples business and let them work it out themselves!
There's a difference between telling one's own truth, and sharing other peoples' truth. One is taking ownership, the other is being either selfish or hurtful.
I think you did the right thing Man. What worries me more is that this dude is too terrified to face himself and my guess is that's not actually his fault but a consequence of the social environment. You were strong and that's a good thing. Ideally the strong help or at least "understand" the weak. Take care Zach you're a good one.
I can't get over his 'murica shirt 😂😂😂 I'm here repeating the word in my terrible southern accent and my sister randomly says SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! WHY AREE YOU REPEATING THE WORD!!😂😂😂😂😂
Zach e B o mundo precisa dessa simplicidade e desse amor que vocês tem na alma, continua oferecendo as pessoas todo esse amor, quem sabe assim teremos menos preconceito e mais amor. Continuem assim não importa o que dizem, ignorem, mas por favor continuem eu amo vocês!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think you did the right thing by not saying what you knew to be true. It could be seen that he lacked courage to come out but you could look spiteful by grassing him up. Coming out is not easy and outing someone is def not right. Another great vid Bud.
Complete honesty will do nothing but cause everyone involved heart ache and grief. With that being said I am completely honest and know first hand the heart ache and grief it has cause me, but at the end of the day I'm a better person for it cause people know that they can trust me! I will always tell people speak the truth. There is only one person I will lie for and that's my husband! I will do anything to protect what I have with him no matter what. But always be completely honest!!!
Tell her. Every single time. No exceptions. She needs to know or she’ll end up seriously falling for him and the pain she’d feel at knowing the truth would be devastating.
I enjoyed the video. What you discussed goes on so often. You have no idea. You pointed out so much. Too many of us get caught up in these situations. Your former friend is one of the reasons why I do not do dating websites and apps. Because of of the job I have , I would run into the same situation you did. I am out. I have no reason to hide. I just do not like how you got treated by others. I really do not. I am glad you developed new friendships also. That was not easy. I had a guy who liked me and because of that worried about what other people will think, it was left hanging and it never went further. He I do not think was put to family and others and he was worried about how others would react to him dating someone black. He feared losing his life the way it is.... Again, this was a good video! I liked how you shared how it impacted your life.
you did the right thing and I'm sorry your "buddies" chose to see your preferred partner rather than you the unique individual !! kudos to you for treating your friend the right way by not exposing him before he was prepared ( assuming he will ever be ) outed :) love your stories !
Zachary, I am new to your channel but I really enjoy you, your voice, your dog, your husband... you guys are truly an inspiration. I am an older man and believe it or not, still closeted. I know my life could be 100x better if I was the real me, but I am afraid of some family members cutting me off.
I hope you didn't take any of that personally Zach. Some people just don't have the strength to live their lives truthfully, and when someone gets close to finding out who they really are they drop you like as fast as possible. Hopefully you have more meaningful friendships now.
Zach, I think one of the best things about you is that you are so REAL. Also, I think that is the answer to the dilemma you post here: do what you need to do to be who you are. Someone who is not true to himself is not a person but a phony. Thanks, bro, for this great video and chance for us to figure out what we stand for.............Ray
As a bisexual guy, I've found myself in this situation a few times and one of my friends told the girl I was dating and she kinda wasn't ok with it but we remained friends. . . Which is better than nothing I guess.
i have been secretly watching zach and b for a while, omg he is just so freakin cute. him and the dog lol. but i know he has a boyfriend, but omg i freakin think YOURE GORGEOUS! love your torso shot lol
awesome story!!! it says a lot about your character! First time I watch you, I didn't know you and I thank you for the message you're communicating to the world... cute as hell too!!! x)
This is not a difficult decision. In reality, it is NONE of our business unless there is abuse. You are sensitive enough to realize your bud is severely conflicted - first rule of any relationship is to know when to keep secrets. As for group A, he chose to spread misinformation, and you discovered who your true friends are. Painful maybe, even disappointing, but best end result you could hope for. Knowledge is affirming. A wise man knows when to keep silent. As for your conflicted bud, it's better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than speak and remove all doubt.You have earned my respect. You did the right thing. I'm proud of you.
One thing is possible just to write a note to the girl anonymously letting her know her boy is been unfaithful or cheating on her. Period she will figure out the rest if she is smart enough. Period
It depends on my mood. If I'm in a good mood I would keep it to myself and let the relationship crumble on its own but if any of them pissed me off I would start the fire and watch their relationship burn to the ground.
I would say you did the right thing, like you said it's not your place to out him. sadly I have seen this too many times, and some girls would rather know. it's not an easy place to be in, but there is no right answer here. just follow your heart and listen to what it tells you.
Hey Zach..I would have probably done the same thing. You made the right choice..hiding secrets in a relationship is doomed from the beginning. I am sure he will be outed one day or your friend will find out some way (i.e. he can't resist it anymore and signs up on grindr or something dating app like that someone will notice him and tell on him or it will be found out some other way. Stuff like that can't be buried forever and it's awful that he is lying to himself and who he really is. What terrible life to live eh? Living a lie. Anyway's..I have been following you for the last 4 months now and love your videos! I am a big fan of yours..keep up the awesome videos!
You did the right things. That's a really taboo situation to be in. It was best you walked away from it. Unfortunately things are often diverted to us to take the heat off of them, Its a quick cover up!
Damn. Been there. Outing someone is not good. I would have a talk with your friend and tell him that what he is doing isnt right. You're right: forget them. They told you a great deal about themselves with their actions.
Zach, I think your decision was the right one.. A few years back a work buddy and I became quite close. I figured he was gay, when he started coming on to me but noticed he pretended to be straight with everyone at work including a girl he asked out and another who was chasing after him. He and I were friendly with our boss who thought he might be gay and our boss wanted me to tell him he should come out. My buddy did come out to me one night and I told him that or boss and now some other friends wanted him to come out. I told him they would accept him and that I would not out him but would be by his side if he needed support. He was scared of being rejected and never came out to the others but later told me he had been shunned by some other friends when he came out to them. Eventually, things became strained with our boss and we both left the company. He was accused of trying to use his boss o advance his career and using people. Either way the outcome was not great........NicF
Zach, I thought that I have said this before, life is a journey, hopefully a long one and everyone needs to discover that journey on their own terms and needs to make live it themselves.
Been through basically the same thing. My only relationship ended because my ex wouldn't end his "relationship" with his girlfriend. He said that it was only because he wasn't ready to come out and that she didn't matter. But it obviously didn't happen. But I never told her about it because I felt like it wasn't my place to make him come out, when he's ready he'll do it himself
Zach, I've been in a lot of situations like this and it's always a hard choice, depending on how close you are to the girl and the guy. I grew up with a girl I met when I was 4/5 and we have been friends for over 20 years now. I had a close guy friend who came out to me in secret but started dating my friend, it was hard but I choose to tell my girl friend that he was seeing guys and testing the waters. It was the best decision in the end because now she is married with children and he is out and in a relationship with a guy. Seems like I'm always the problem solver and never the "problem" trying to find a nice, sweet, genuine guy for years now but I wanted to say that I love your videos man and they have really helped me a lot growing up in the "Bible Belt" aka South Carolina. I swish I could find a man like yourself who's down to earth and a country guy like myself...I'd never thought I would be a parts manager at a high end body shop but it is what is it, I'll keep trying dating apps! I was just in Alabama and Louisiana for Mardi Gras! Wish I coulda met you and just thank you! But have a wonderful day/week and see ya on your next video! Give me a shoutout man!
Nobody should out anybody else, for no reason. When the guy is ready to make that decision he will. He may just marry her and be happy for 20 years or more. It's his decision, he has to make it, and he has to live with it!
Hey buddy, you are a class act. Everyone needs a friend such as yourself. When you hit us with how it ended I got mad, you don't need people like that in your life. Hope everything is going well with you and A? Take it easy, and be well.
I love that you have the game RISK sitting on the back table. Love that game. But I like your way of explaining to situations no matter how it comes out
You are such a decent compassionate person which seems so rare among gay people. The guy you refer to is really on a dangerous path which will likely wind up him getting married and having children while at the same time seeing and having relations with other guys. It happens and produces an awful lot of misery down the road when it eventually comes out. They then try to claim "discovery" on their orientation. Nobody should trust them.
Sadly I went thru a similar process just not down south, dealing with some yankees up here. I was out with some friends and the girl of the group figured me out and the very next day I was basically ostricized. So I sadly had to restart all over again with making friendships and honestly like you: Group A (don't need them) and Group B well they are still with me. Basically I'm part of their family for the past 10+ years.
I have never been in that situation. I'm one of those people that knew they were different from birth, although I did not have a name for it. And on top of that , I never really had a female friend. I had female acquaintances but never any really close female friends. With that being said, I think you did the right think. I would pretty much have done the same thing, and i know it was not easy for you to keep quiet about it. I have learned that the last thing you want to do is stick your nose in someone else business. Especially when it comes to affairs of the heart. Someone could argue that if she found out he was gay and she also found out that you knew, you could loose the friendship. But it sounds like that was going to happen any way. The reason that I think you did the right thing is people tend to look for a scapegoat in situations like this and if you intervened in some way, it would have been you. Sounds like this guy would have blamed you for the lose of his one time chance for a life as a straight guy ( because of course those things always work out. Right, lol.) When their relationship failed, they might have blamed you. You did not bring them together, you're not responsible for them being honest with each other. So, good call ;-).
I have just recently had this situation happen to me. A guy I know whom is "bisexual" began talking to this girl that I met at a bar. Where I live it is very small everybody knows everybody, of somebody or that somebody. Well it just so happened to be she & I knew this guy. Now I am not one to out anybody. I do however have somebody that I can talk to, whom I know won't ever tell. Though when she asked me head on face to face. Does this guy like guys. I am not a liar. I told her the truth because the worst way to start off with anybody is by telling a lie which is something that I cannot live with. Needless to say me & the guy no longer talk. Her & the guy no longer talk. Me & the girl have become good friends. She did not call him out on it other incidences why they stopped talking, but she was grateful to me for helping her mind come to a bit more peace.
That was quite the dilemma. I wouldn't have outed my buddy in the same circumstance. Yet, your friend he was dating should have been told. They all treated you miserably when you came out. So, water under the bridge as to feeling bad about your decisjon. No easy answer to that moral dilemma and no right or wrong either to how you handled it.
I wasn't out when I married my girlfriend. I hadn't done anything with a guy, so it was really just speculation on my part. But a frigid wife (no, we hadn't had sex before marriage), and I was frustrated beyond belief, and my mind began to wander to what might have been. Fast forward, and one child later, we divorced. I had been through so much therapy. It wasn't until I had a new therapist what asked if I'd ever thought I might be gay. Lots of tears, but ultimately I made the decision to divorce. All of that took 20 years. Now, after 20 years of living as a gay man, I am married to a wonderful man who has made me so very happy.
Hi I think it would be a no win situation. The girl would want to know how you know and what prove you have the guy would deny it so you lose both friends, and until you are in the situation its a hard call. Love your channel hugs from the uk x
" I came across this other headless torso" LOL
I think eventually a gay man dating a woman is doomed to Self destruct. You did the right thing.
Zak, thank you so much for your thoughts in this subject. I remember a few years ago when I finally started to realize that I was gay, but was so conflicted because I had been married over 10 yrs at this point and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt my wife and all the people around me. I was singing in a men's chorus that was mostly gay and many of the guys had been where I was so being with the guys was my sanctuary, but there were a couple of guys who were constantly pushing me to come out and I had this fear they would just out me. So I'm eternally thankful to all of these guys who stood by me as I found my way and finally got the courage to tell my wife and my family. The next few months as we worked through a divorce were pretty tense, but my family was behind me all the way as well as the guys in the chorus. Today, almost 4 yrs later my ex and I are best of friends and life is great. I'm still single and have dated a little, but not feeling any pressure to find someone. I love your videos and love how things have progressed between you and Alistair. I hope someday I will have the same love in my life! Until then, I will just enjoy the fact that I can be me and people around me support and love me. Keep the great content coming!!
I love this story. I might never relate to finding myself in a life that isn't authentically me, but I'm fascinated by these types of stories. I'm so happy for you and that you found the courage to be you
I suggest you should have helped "rob" get there together. Could have saved him years of pain & lost time being fake, maybe saving ur girl friend too. Im always thinking in a community minded ways... I volunteered for years at a gay switchboard in Philly back in the 90's....the saddest / emotional calls were always guys like him who got married to women, had kids etc... with severe regrets. #acceptloveyourselfalways
Randy Harrison Grace and Frankie all over again lmao
Sleekcartim .sleekcartim these stories are satisfying in an eerie way. Not saying I enjoy sad stories of people with regrets. But these are such real topics that you can't argue with. I would say step in and help out also. Ask what they want to do. And make them realize what will happen depending on their choice.
John well you really only get one life, that reality sinks in to your depths eventually, but then its often too late. Try to learn from other guys mistakes....maybe some of you are starting to realize what community can really mean to your life.... #KeystoLife
Oh man, this is such a hard decision. Guess you can't really say what you'd do until your in the situation yourself, but I'm leaning more towards telling the girl. Procrastination can lead to such a long road ahead, and you never know how long that guy could string her along.
I've been in a situation where I've actually had a guy like tht n no matter how hard it was for me I did not tell the girl it's been really tempting but it's not my business at tht point and I got over it and realized I deserved better and I got better 💕 and I'm happy 😊 karma will deal with him accordingly lol
Yeah but e careful. He might come back for you.
Allen thts when he'll get curved lol 😂
Husband and Husband: I have to agree with telling her. Of course this is what I'd do, and in no way do I look down at Zach for doing what you thought was right for you dude. My thing though is this girl who is being misled by someone who's dating her is basically a facade. It's not fair to her for the guy to use her. I've seen to many gay men do this and next thing you know he finally comes out when the kids leave for college or sooner. Can't imagine a life like that. So I'd of told her lol...but that's me
james46911 I completely agree, I feel that many people think it's just something they see on TV about gay men coming out to their wives and kids. It's probably 2 out of 10 families whether they tell or not. Its unfortunate. My best advice is do what you personally think is right
My dad came out to my mum ten years into their marriage.
Not sure if anyone knew about my dad's sexuality beforehand - but judging by all the hardship my mum, family and even my dad went through over all the years - I wish that someone had told her beforehand.
then again - i'm happy to be alive woop woop
I think you did the right thing. Sometimes doing the right thing is not always the easiest thing to do. It’s obvious that those people were truly not your friends to begin with. Move on to bigger and better things and new friends. Karma.....how they treated you will come back to them. It may not happen today or tomorrow, but it all comes back to them eventually. Thanks for all your great videos. Keep your head up! Love ya buddy!
You made the correct choice, as confidentiality is everything, as it mirrors the identity and character and those who share it!!! Adults grow through the experiences and relationships they have, Relationships in dating have unspoken boundaries and as such, they should be upheld. IF THEY CAN DATE, THEY MUST BE PREPARED TO ACCKNOLAGE CARICTOR FLAWS IN THEMSELVES AND IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP IF DISCOVERED IN THE PROCESS. HOLDING THEMSELVES TO ACCOUNT FOR HAVING ENTERED THE RELATIONSHiP IN THE FIRST PLACE. Self-discovery can be a painful place to be in.
You did right. You should never out anyone, that is their truth to accept and share when they are ready. I had a friend who was HIV+ and I knew he was being unsafe with his boyfriend and I contacted a local HIV/AIDS organization in the area and spoke to a legal representative their about it. I was told not to say anything because he could in turn sue me for telling his personal medical history. I really hated it but said nothing. My best friend who also knew them both kind of hinted around about it in front of the boyfriend and he eventually figured it out, he turned out to be negative thankfully. I only told this story because sometimes while morally right it may not be legal. Your "friend" could have very well sued you for emotional distress had you outed him. Love your videos, keep up the positivity. 😁😘🌈
What if the woman sued for emotional distress by him not telling her he's gay? What if your friend sued you for knowing he was sleeping with an hiv+ person, but you didn't tell him?
wow thats a tough one. your bestie handled it right. its a matter of life & death , so taking that chance to let him know was def correct
"we'll call him Rob... ...everybody but John, love you buddy" haha
I'm glad you found real friends cuz you don't need the other people in your life😀👍👍
I genuinely appreciate you, Zach. You're a great man.
I also grew up in AL and gay. This channel was just recommended to me. I was closeted the entire time I was in AL and just assumed I was the only gay person in the city/state/world/universe. I moved out of AL and did a lot of growing up/traveling. Thanks for making this channel just as that nice reminder I was never actually alone there, just scared.
I love story time! You did the right thing and you're correct; your closeted friend showed his true colors in how he handled your friendship.
Those people who didn't accept you, then they weren't truly your friends. Your friend (the girl) that not fair to her to be lead on. There are so many people living double lives and not being their authentic self, this hurt our community. By not living their authentic life they hurt themselves and others. I seen many who married the opposite sex, have kids and they come out and causes a lot of pain and heart ache. Live is short everyone, live your authentic life! Keep up with the videos Zach, your videos help those that are struggling. Have a great day! :)
Yep, had my group A back in early high school and group B at the end of high school. Unfortunately, my relationship with group A pretty much came to a screeching halt, like asteroid hitting Earth bad. Sadly though, I've been unable to make any gay relationships or even find other gay friends at all, still none to this day either. Everyone in my group B of friends is straight and they've been very accepting, but hanging with only straight people makes it hard for me to have any sense of self identity or something like that. Want to let you know though that I really appreciate you uploading your videos, you and many others like you on RUclips do help me have some sense of identity and kind of a window to the world I belong in but can't quite find a way into.
You did the right thing, let people work out their own problems. I understand all those early stages since I went trough the same experience when I started College.
My ex boyfriend turned out to be gay. I didn't find out until a mutual friend told me about it a few years after our relationship had come and gone. I know a lot of girls might have felt it as a hit to their self esteem, but I honestly just though it was hilarious. At the time I was dating him I *thought* I was straight too but now I know that I'm bisexual. I'm currently dating a girl too, and we're pretty serious.
What a humorous picture. We both thought we were straight, and are both now pursuing members of the same sex.
You did the right thing Zack. Even though the seperation from others was the end result. Thats ok because the story dosen't end there. The people who stopped talking to you wil either change or fade off into their own direction in life. Being lonely can come from many circumstances and it does hurt so bad. You discover a new person which developes into another person and before you know it, you have a new circle of friends. I've been there. My new experience with being Gay will be a new chapter since realizing it recently. Now I have a relationship with my fience' as an international couple. He will be joining me here this summer. I have to thank you and look forward to hearing more of your experiences.
So glad you made this video! This is the type of situation that goes on between a lot of people
I love your honesty. Your high level of personal integrity is not only refreshing but laudable. Wish I had a friend like you growing up. Awesomeness.
A very strong and exciting story. Very sad everyone has stopped talking to you. Me and Jeyme also have our difficulties, but we are together and we will continue with our dreams. A hug for you and Alistair!
Being in that situation, dating girls to cover up being gay, I kinda wish somebody had outed me. It would have saved a lot of years of hiding and suffering. It's certainly a hard decision. Once you survive coming out it's an indescribable feeling of freedom.
yeah all that time (some of the best years for young guy) wasted, hurting urself & others as you go too, so sad. I suggested zach should have tried to be his friend & help him accept himself, that would have been the community minded guy i am would do. Maybe make a friend for life helping get there. #GoodKarma
That's a good idea!! But one never knows because no matter what. A person most likely is not in possession of ALL the facts.
having worked as a practitioner in the medical field i will say that i have very stern and definite feelings regarding this subject. i have had to look into the eyes of countless men, women and children (born infected or by molestation) who have had to suffer the pain, indignity and emotional trauma of contracting std's from people with attitudes like "what someone doesn't know won't hurt them", or "there isn't anything to say until there is something to say". especially painful are children who are born with hiv and now incurable forms of syphilis and gonorrhea and will suffer these things the rest of their lives because "it's nobody else's business what happens in the bedroom" or "it's just sex" if you are in a commited relationship and have an "open" policy that is one thing. however if you are sleeping around behind someone's back, you are taking their life into your hands without their consent, no different than driving a car wrecklessly while your passengers have no control over your actions. one wrong move and you are all dead. everyone who knows me understands i am completely intolerant to sexual dishonesty, manipulation or deception. "bro code" gets people sick and dead... if you want to be loose, whatever, just be open and honest about it. on the other hand we no longer live in a world where naivete is completely excusable. if you are a parent educate your children to the hard and scary truth about sexual dangers. as an adult treat every circumstance as a potential for sicknesses and get tested before sexual activity no matter what and require others to do so also if they want to be with you. std infection has been tripling in rate every year for the past five years especially in the gay community. it used to be like playing russian roulette with several different guns at once but only one gun had single bullet. now it's like playing with one gun where there are only three empty chambers out of six. the attitude of "oh there's a pill for that" is completely foolish and stupid. thought processes like that would completely change if the people who think that way would have to watch the process of someone in treatment slowly withering over a matter of years until finally their secret life kills them or the ones they wrongfully infected. i tell men and women all the time "wrap it or wack it". as far telling someone that their partner is cheating... i have done it and do not regret it. the two people i had to do it with both ended up hiv positive within a year of the issue where they probably would have infected their unwitting partners. what you don't know can kill you. wake up people and start doing right by yourselves and others. sex isn't a pastime activity.
That's telling it like is really is. Too easy to have heartbreak in a situation founded on a LIE.
beachesboy1994 yes exactly. happiness is never fulfilled when we serve ourselves. it only comes when we are authentic and our genuine behavior goes out from us like a seed that gets planted into the hearts and minds of those beyond us and when it matures within them it comes back as fruit for us. living life running from consequences is lived fast and shallow. but one done with the idea of accountability gives a deeper, happier meaning at the end.
Thanks for your thoughtful comment. I wish you all the best.
beachesboy1994 you as well...
I use to have two sets of friends as well. I hated it. But even now, I don't have any set of friends. I think as you get older, you find friends regardless of sexuality, and it's great. Thanks for sharing sir.
As always, great vid. You do bring up some thinkers quite often. I've always known I was gay and always believed I had no right to lead a woman on with pretense. It's been mentioned a few times in the comments how unfair it is to cheat that time from someone who is looking for a life long relationship. The biggest aspect is STD's. That said, I've had time in relationships that I didn't see a future in simply to avoid being a lone. That's not a fair situation either. We all walk our own path so to tell a woman her man is gay may not be a role we take on. Unless there is knowledge of certain harm, I think to a degree, their path was put in play for some unknown reason.
Came across your channel today...spent way too much time viewing old videos.......it was your voice and charm that kept me coming back for more. Enjoyed.....sponsors are fine.....drive on man.
Zack, you and Alistair are two of the most honest, sincere people I have come across on the internet. I'm blessed by having the privilege to see your videos, and thereby, a small glimpse into your beautiful lives. Although I am 60 years older than either of you, I see things in your lives that I wish I had experienced in my own - and I thank you for your sharing and showing by example how beautiful the relationship between two men can be. Bless you both.
Thanks for your videos, Zach! When I watch them I feel like I'm visiting with a friend who is very genuine, sincere and accepting; there should be more people like you in the world! May God bless you, B and Alastair! :-)
You did exactly the right thing, even though your friend dropped you. Everyone has to deal with who they are, telling the girl would not have done anything for anyone. Love your blog and rooting for you and your guy!! What your talking about, how it feels to be alone, gay and not k owing what to do is so important, like many others I went through it and just really did understand. You're making a difference.
*the voice over scared tf out of me* I'm shaking #rip headphones users
Haha
I think ya did the right thing - but damn what a burn by that group, says a lot about them really.
Yeah it does say a lot about them: They are insecure about their own sexuality.
Never interfere in another relationship no matter what, it will always end badly for you. Props for just letting it go and play out.
Zach this is late, but had to say you never cease to amaze me. I love your content and your perspective. Such a good soul.❤
That's a tough situation. You did the right thing for not saying anything to the girl since they had to work it out between themselves. It sucks, but that's the way things goes. I've met people whom were married and came out later which devastated both sides but more on the woman side (gay guy, straight woman). She was ended up being his friend since they have a kid and remarried, but for a while, she blamed him for wasting years where she could have been truly happy once she realized she was a placeholder for him. I took this as an example for myself to not do anything like that despite what society said. Growing up in a conservative city in Texas makes you think things. I am glad I got my perspective from their experience.
Based on that, if you cannot convince the guy not to do what he did, well, he will have to carry that with him until he decides it's time. Sucks for any girls out there in this situation, but a lot of times, they may come to their own conclusion about it before even before the guy does. Just like others have said, if it's an abusive relationship, that's a different story.
"John"? You mean, "Rob." HA! HA! :)
I don't often comment but I have to say THANK YOU! Thank you for your courage and candid honesty. For someone who is so young yet so rich with insight. I'm so pleased that I stumbled across your Vlog. Great Job man. Keep up the good work.
I would tell the girlfriend mostly to protect her. Yeah it's gonna hurt today, but since he's not being honest doesn't mean you have to lie to her as well. I have no respect for a guy who's gonna drag a girls feeling through the ditch while he's finding himself.
This freaking channel is the best; idk what I'd have done. It's messed up to out someone but it's more messed up to let your friend date a gay guy while you just sit on that info. It's a tough one
You're 100% the kind of man I've wanted lol adorable, chill and seem very chill
It's so cute seeing how comfy your dog was :3
i love your soul , i admire that i started following you because you are eye candy but now i can see more into your soul and find out you are as much nice as your body ! i love you zack , i think you did the right thing, i have been gone throw that phase to cure my loneliness and dating all the time guys , i love you
Yes- I agree with the comments saying - 'Don't interfere or intervene' in someone else's relationships. It is best to keep out of other peoples business and let them work it out themselves!
There's a difference between telling one's own truth, and sharing other peoples' truth. One is taking ownership, the other is being either selfish or hurtful.
I think you did the right thing Man. What worries me more is that this dude is too terrified to face himself and my guess is that's not actually his fault but a consequence of the social environment. You were strong and that's a good thing. Ideally the strong help or at least "understand" the weak. Take care Zach you're a good one.
Oh my god the hornett add got me shook that transition into the add was everything 😂😂😂
You may have lost friends back then but you kept your integrity, Zach. and it brought you a whole world of new friends :-)
I can't get over his 'murica shirt 😂😂😂 I'm here repeating the word in my terrible southern accent and my sister randomly says SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! WHY AREE YOU REPEATING THE WORD!!😂😂😂😂😂
Zach e B o mundo precisa dessa simplicidade e desse amor que vocês tem na alma, continua oferecendo as pessoas todo esse amor, quem sabe assim teremos menos preconceito e mais amor. Continuem assim não importa o que dizem, ignorem, mas por favor continuem eu amo vocês!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think you did the right thing by not saying what you knew to be true. It could be seen that he lacked courage to come out but you could look spiteful by grassing him up.
Coming out is not easy and outing someone is def not right.
Another great vid Bud.
Complete honesty will do nothing but cause everyone involved heart ache and grief. With that being said I am completely honest and know first hand the heart ache and grief it has cause me, but at the end of the day I'm a better person for it cause people know that they can trust me! I will always tell people speak the truth. There is only one person I will lie for and that's my husband! I will do anything to protect what I have with him no matter what. But always be completely honest!!!
you were being a kind friend to him... he didn't deserve it.. but good for you... any man would be Lucky to have u in his life
Tell her. Every single time. No exceptions. She needs to know or she’ll end up seriously falling for him and the pain she’d feel at knowing the truth would be devastating.
U can't push anyone out of the closest
Everyone shoots the message ❤️
Thanks for your videos. Many of them are so relatable, funny, and also inspiring!
I enjoyed the video. What you discussed goes on so often. You have no idea. You pointed out so much. Too many of us get caught up in these situations. Your former friend is one of the reasons why I do not do dating websites and apps. Because of of the job I have , I would run into the same situation you did. I am out. I have no reason to hide. I just do not like how you got treated by others. I really do not. I am glad you developed new friendships also. That was not easy. I had a guy who liked me and because of that worried about what other people will think, it was left hanging and it never went further. He I do not think was put to family and others and he was worried about how others would react to him dating someone black. He feared losing his life the way it is....
Again, this was a good video! I liked how you shared how it impacted your life.
you did the right thing and I'm sorry your "buddies" chose to see your preferred partner rather than you the unique individual !! kudos to you for treating your friend the right way by not exposing him before he was prepared ( assuming he will ever be ) outed :) love your stories !
you did the right thing, I respect you so much. thank you for another great video!
It's better not say anything, each and everyone of us has gone thrum something, and it's just part of life!
Dude. Million thanks. Appreciate everything you say.
Thank you
it is always best not to interfere in other peoples' business. you did the right thing.
Zachary, I am new to your channel but I really enjoy you, your voice, your dog, your husband... you guys are truly an inspiration. I am an older man and believe it or not, still closeted. I know my life could be 100x better if I was the real me, but I am afraid of some family members cutting me off.
I hope you didn't take any of that personally Zach. Some people just don't have the strength to live their lives truthfully, and when someone gets close to finding out who they really are they drop you like as fast as possible. Hopefully you have more meaningful friendships now.
Zach, I think one of the best things about you is that you are so REAL. Also, I think that is the answer to the dilemma you post here: do what you need to do to be who you are. Someone who is not true to himself is not a person but a phony. Thanks, bro, for this great video and chance for us to figure out what we stand for.............Ray
As a bisexual guy, I've found myself in this situation a few times and one of my friends told the girl I was dating and she kinda wasn't ok with it but we remained friends. . . Which is better than nothing I guess.
You did the right thing it never our place to out some one it has to be there choice! Good job Zach you showed great character!
i have been secretly watching zach and b for a while, omg he is just so freakin cute. him and the dog lol. but i know he has a boyfriend, but omg i freakin think YOURE GORGEOUS! love your torso shot lol
awesome story!!! it says a lot about your character! First time I watch you, I didn't know you and I thank you for the message you're communicating to the world... cute as hell too!!! x)
This is not a difficult decision. In reality, it is NONE of our business unless there is abuse. You are sensitive enough to realize your bud is severely conflicted - first rule of any relationship is to know when to keep secrets. As for group A, he chose to spread misinformation, and you discovered who your true friends are. Painful maybe, even disappointing, but best end result you could hope for. Knowledge is affirming. A wise man knows when to keep silent. As for your conflicted bud, it's better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than speak and remove all doubt.You have earned my respect. You did the right thing. I'm proud of you.
One thing is possible just to write a note to the girl anonymously letting her know her boy is been unfaithful or cheating on her. Period she will figure out the rest if she is smart enough. Period
It depends on my mood. If I'm in a good mood I would keep it to myself and let the relationship crumble on its own but if any of them pissed me off I would start the fire and watch their relationship burn to the ground.
Proper etiquette is to not tell the girl until they're on their second child.
LOVE THAT YOU APPARENTLY PLAY RISK
I would say you did the right thing, like you said it's not your place to out him. sadly I have seen this too many times, and some girls would rather know. it's not an easy place to be in, but there is no right answer here. just follow your heart and listen to what it tells you.
Hey Zach..I would have probably done the same thing. You made the right choice..hiding secrets in a relationship is doomed from the beginning. I am sure he will be outed one day or your friend will find out some way (i.e. he can't resist it anymore and signs up on grindr or something dating app like that someone will notice him and tell on him or it will be found out some other way. Stuff like that can't be buried forever and it's awful that he is lying to himself and who he really is. What terrible life to live eh? Living a lie. Anyway's..I have been following you for the last 4 months now and love your videos! I am a big fan of yours..keep up the awesome videos!
You did the right things.
That's a really taboo situation to be in.
It was best you walked away from it.
Unfortunately things are often diverted to us to take the heat off of them, Its a quick cover up!
Damn. Been there. Outing someone is not good. I would have a talk with your friend and tell him that what he is doing isnt right. You're right: forget them. They told you a great deal about themselves with their actions.
Dude, you are the best, that's why I love watching your videos. You did the right thing
What an awesome video and thanks for sharing your experience and it has meant a lot to me.
Zach, I think your decision was the right one.. A few years back a work buddy and I became quite close. I figured he was gay, when he started coming on to me but noticed he pretended to be straight with everyone at work including a girl he asked out and another who was chasing after him.
He and I were friendly with our boss who thought he might be gay and our boss wanted me to tell him he should come out. My buddy did come out to me one night and I told him that or boss and now some other friends wanted him to come out. I told him they would accept him and that I would not out him but would be by his side if he needed support. He was scared of being rejected and never came out to the others but later told me he had been shunned by some other friends when he came out to them. Eventually, things became strained with our boss and we both left the company. He was accused of trying to use his boss o advance his career and using people. Either way the outcome was not great........NicF
Zach, I thought that I have said this before, life is a journey, hopefully a long one and everyone needs to discover that journey on their own terms and needs to make live it themselves.
Been through basically the same thing. My only relationship ended because my ex wouldn't end his "relationship" with his girlfriend. He said that it was only because he wasn't ready to come out and that she didn't matter. But it obviously didn't happen.
But I never told her about it because I felt like it wasn't my place to make him come out, when he's ready he'll do it himself
I can't keep sending these public messages. But I bless you.
creating messages that protect boys. You are a wonder.
Zach, I've been in a lot of situations like this and it's always a hard choice, depending on how close you are to the girl and the guy. I grew up with a girl I met when I was 4/5 and we have been friends for over 20 years now. I had a close guy friend who came out to me in secret but started dating my friend, it was hard but I choose to tell my girl friend that he was seeing guys and testing the waters. It was the best decision in the end because now she is married with children and he is out and in a relationship with a guy. Seems like I'm always the problem solver and never the "problem" trying to find a nice, sweet, genuine guy for years now but I wanted to say that I love your videos man and they have really helped me a lot growing up in the "Bible Belt" aka South Carolina. I swish I could find a man like yourself who's down to earth and a country guy like myself...I'd never thought I would be a parts manager at a high end body shop but it is what is it, I'll keep trying dating apps! I was just in Alabama and Louisiana for Mardi Gras! Wish I coulda met you and just thank you! But have a wonderful day/week and see ya on your next video! Give me a shoutout man!
Nobody should out anybody else, for no reason. When the guy is ready to make that decision he will. He may just marry her and be happy for 20 years or more. It's his decision, he has to make it, and he has to live with it!
Hey buddy, you are a class act. Everyone needs a friend such as yourself. When you hit us with how it ended I got mad, you don't need people like that in your life. Hope everything is going well with you and A? Take it easy, and be well.
I love that you have the game RISK sitting on the back table. Love that game. But I like your way of explaining to situations no matter how it comes out
I love you're honesty! Stay you bud!
You are such a decent compassionate person which seems so rare among gay people.
The guy you refer to is really on a dangerous path which will likely wind up him getting married and having children while at the same time seeing and having relations with other guys.
It happens and produces an awful lot of misery down the road when it eventually comes out.
They then try to claim "discovery" on their orientation. Nobody should trust them.
I love the ending :-) You're so cute.
Sadly I went thru a similar process just not down south, dealing with some yankees up here. I was out with some friends and the girl of the group figured me out and the very next day I was basically ostricized. So I sadly had to restart all over again with making friendships and honestly like you: Group A (don't need them) and Group B well they are still with me. Basically I'm part of their family for the past 10+ years.
I have never been in that situation. I'm one of those people that knew they were different from birth, although I did not have a name for it. And on top of that , I never really had a female friend. I had female acquaintances but never any really close female friends. With that being said, I think you did the right think. I would pretty much have done the same thing, and i know it was not easy for you to keep quiet about it. I have learned that the last thing you want to do is stick your nose in someone else business. Especially when it comes to affairs of the heart. Someone could argue that if she found out he was gay and she also found out that you knew, you could loose the friendship. But it sounds like that was going to happen any way. The reason that I think you did the right thing is people tend to look for a scapegoat in situations like this and if you intervened in some way, it would have been you. Sounds like this guy would have blamed you for the lose of his one time chance for a life as a straight guy ( because of course those things always work out. Right, lol.) When their relationship failed, they might have blamed you. You did not bring them together, you're not responsible for them being honest with each other. So, good call ;-).
"On one hand, you've got this one girl, walking around looking like a dumb ass." Lmao. 😂
You did the right thing. We all choose our paths
I have just recently had this situation happen to me. A guy I know whom is "bisexual" began talking to this girl that I met at a bar. Where I live it is very small everybody knows everybody, of somebody or that somebody. Well it just so happened to be she & I knew this guy. Now I am not one to out anybody. I do however have somebody that I can talk to, whom I know won't ever tell. Though when she asked me head on face to face. Does this guy like guys. I am not a liar. I told her the truth because the worst way to start off with anybody is by telling a lie which is something that I cannot live with. Needless to say me & the guy no longer talk. Her & the guy no longer talk. Me & the girl have become good friends. She did not call him out on it other incidences why they stopped talking, but she was grateful to me for helping her mind come to a bit more peace.
That was quite the dilemma. I wouldn't have outed my buddy in the same circumstance. Yet, your friend he was dating should have been told. They all treated you miserably when you came out. So, water under the bridge as to feeling bad about your decisjon. No easy answer to that moral dilemma and no right or wrong either to how you handled it.
Awesome video as usual man. You did the right thing by not outing him.
Omg your voice 😍I love your conversations 😊
I wasn't out when I married my girlfriend. I hadn't done anything with a guy, so it was really just speculation on my part. But a frigid wife (no, we hadn't had sex before marriage), and I was frustrated beyond belief, and my mind began to wander to what might have been. Fast forward, and one child later, we divorced. I had been through so much therapy. It wasn't until I had a new therapist what asked if I'd ever thought I might be gay. Lots of tears, but ultimately I made the decision to divorce. All of that took 20 years. Now, after 20 years of living as a gay man, I am married to a wonderful man who has made me so very happy.
Hi I think it would be a no win situation. The girl would want to know how you know and what prove you have the guy would deny it so you lose both friends, and until you are in the situation its a hard call. Love your channel hugs from the uk x
The whole time he was talking I kept starring at the Texas cut out. That wood work is badass.