Why making Dutch friends is harder than you imagined (from a Kenyan's perspective)
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- Опубликовано: 15 окт 2024
- Everyone wants to make friends even in a new country. However, sometimes this can be easier said than done. That is why today, I share with you my experiences as to why making friendships in the Netherlands can proof to be difficult especailly to an outsider like myself. This video is not meant to insult the Dutch people or to overlook their culture and way of lives. I am only sharing my views and experiences.
If you like to watch more of my videos, you can check more here - / @doreennekesaofficial
You are not wrong! I am Dutch, grew up in a village, then after school moved to town. It was easy to make friends and have fun in the city. Some liked dropping in unannounced, all would be into spontaneous meetings or short notice.
But around 30 that all changed. Serious grown up life started apparently. I did not have kids. Others did. I was very disappointed after 30 everybody was busy, moved away, and nobody had time for anything. Now I’m over 50 I have a few friends again, but I share your disappointment deeply 😅.. 🤷🏻♀️
@Zamek13 Hi Zamek, it looks like you're describing my life in a nutshell 😆. I think generally, in the city, life is more vibrant and spontaneous than in the village. And friendships happen easily earlier in life. I can't wait to get back to a less busier lifestyle in my later years. Because of as of now, everybody I know is so busy chasing life😄
That's a good experience
@@MaclineLumbasi Asante mama
I enjoyed the neighboured ride sis. I relate with challenges of making local friends. I think the one biggest hinder is the language.. Because you may meet kind and open people (which is not common) but the conversation would rarely go deeper due to language barrier or let's say fluency issues. Social life is the one reason I would go back home anytime.
My dear, language is for sure a major setback for me. I have attended events that were mostly in Dutch and if I didn't have anyone I know around, I would be forced to sit there like a zombie or try my luck to start conversations in English. Which can work but not always the case. It's easier if you speak the language. Socially, it can be draining. But anyway, sometimes it's just sweet to be on your own without nobody bothering you 😆
@@doreennekesaofficiallike a zombie 😂😂😂 it's so relatable gosh.. I gather that English is more spoken in the Netherlands so that trick of pulling off a conversation is likely to work better there. Hapa aki, kwanza mashinani hehee nabaki tu nkijiongelesha kingereza Changu 🤦🏾♂️. In the end we have to make do and see the positive side of it, solitude.
Hi Doreen. Your neighborhood is really beautiful n peaceful. I must say that even here in Kenya there is an age where you get to and making friends becomes difficult, people are just minding their own business..
Hi Nancy, Thank you for your kind words. Or maybe it's just an age thing. Haha! That got me thinking. I'm 33, and I just want to mind my own business. You got me there! 😅
Hi, Doreen. I'm a 68 year old born and bred Dutchman living in Amsterdam (originally I'm from the South-West of Holland) and I never had to do with this "agenda" thing. So maybe it has to do also with WHERE you live in the Netherlands and what kind of people you socialize with.
Realyl? Wow! This is interesting to get a different perspective from a Dutch man. Well, maybe I mostly interact with people in the formal setup. It looks like flexibility is really practical here. It's a surprise that you have never had to keep an agenda😊. I wonder what else I got wrong
@@doreennekesaofficial Well, I don't think you're completely wrong but it just isn't as harsh as you might think. Something tells me there's much less "agenda" in Amsterdam and " below the rivers" that's to say: in the southern part of the country.
And yes, because we are in the northern part of the Netherlands. Someone once told me that the culture in the Netherlands is a bit different from place to place. That gives me a good reason to travel more so I can experience these mini-cultures.
Hello ma’am, I am one of your silent follower. Please can someone marry someone who earns 2200 euros in the Netherlands? My man works there and I wonder if his salary can be enough for both of us before I get a job
@@Prettymata Well, it’s really hard to tell because there are so many things to put into consideration. Eg. Where you will live, what foods you consume, whether you have or plan to have kids, the kind of transport you use to move around, such things. So it’s really hard to tell in one go
@@doreennekesaofficial thank you very for your swift response I really appreciate it. Yes I look forward to having kids
I am sorry I know it is not related to your video
@@Prettymata no problem. You’re welcome to ask