Outsmart Covert Narcissist Coworkers with These 5 Communication Strategies

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  • Опубликовано: 18 окт 2024
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    🔔 tinyurl.com/as... 🔔 FLASH SALE 50% OFF My COMPLETE COMMUNICATION COURSE Struggling with narcissist coworkers, a toxic work environment and difficult personalities can drain your joy and power. But it doesn't have to be that way!
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    Discover how to set unbreakable boundaries with covert narcissists and other workplace narcissists so you can reclaim your joy and take your power back in the workspace. In this video, we're going to discuss 5 communication strategies you can use to deal with narcissistic coworkers. No matter how good you are at your job, if you have a narcissist on your team, you're going to have to deal with their toxicity.
    Join Dan O'Connor, your communication strategist, as he unveils practical tactics to handle narcissistic colleagues with finesse. Don't just survive until retirement; thrive and prepare for a future filled with endless new beginnings.
    Empower yourself with Dan's techniques and transform your workplace dynamics. Dive into this essential guide for professionals or anyone seeking to navigate toxic workplace relationships with confidence and grace.
    🎥 In this video, you'll learn:How to identify narcissistic behaviors at work.Effective strategies to communicate your boundaries clearly.The power of 'I' statements in maintaining professional distance.Ways to remain present and joyful in your personal life, free from work stress.
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Комментарии • 377

  • @TheWizardOfWords
    @TheWizardOfWords  10 месяцев назад +15

    If you liked this video and want to support this channel, please consider pressing the "join" button--right here www.youtube.com/@TheWizardOfWords

    • @Michael-qh1ip
      @Michael-qh1ip 6 месяцев назад +1

      I sure wish I had access to you and your awesome coaching 10 years ago. That being said, I'm glad your here now. Thanks 👍

  • @nickw22689
    @nickw22689 11 месяцев назад +106

    To everyone getting flashbacks while watching this…you’re not alone!

  • @rakastellar8955
    @rakastellar8955 8 месяцев назад +37

    The narcissist in my team talks about himself the entire time during projects and it is very hard to steer away the conversation from himself...

  • @alfdom51
    @alfdom51 11 месяцев назад +115

    I forget that not everyone thinks like I do. Good thing there are plenty of people to remind me.

    • @vickigonya9432
      @vickigonya9432 11 месяцев назад +4

      I experience the same. People ask me to do things for them then hate me for having done it- to their specifications. I am an interior designer and also paint houses, cabinets, murals. So I painted my daughter's house 3 times it looked amazing and she was so hateful to me for months?! WHY?! I didn't even charge her or make her pay Benjamin Moore for the paint. I am discovering I am a Sigma Empath. You may be also.🤗

    • @alfdom51
      @alfdom51 11 месяцев назад

      @@vickigonya9432 I didn't know much about narcissists until one ruined my job. I had not thought about personality types until then.

    • @wordsretainpower6250
      @wordsretainpower6250 8 месяцев назад

      ​@vickigonya9432 did you do it without her consent? Did you choose the colors without letting her pick them?

    • @nicholecornes1915
      @nicholecornes1915 6 месяцев назад

      Hell no they dont

    • @laughingmatters2308
      @laughingmatters2308 4 месяца назад

      Been slapped with this same reality check lol.
      I changed my expectations. My blood pressure decreased 😅

  • @kittensugars
    @kittensugars 11 месяцев назад +36

    I ghosted a narcissist neighbor a couple of years ago. No contact. ...what a relief.

  • @MalikaBourne
    @MalikaBourne 11 месяцев назад +60

    "I can't think like people who personality disorders that I don't have..."

    • @moonhunter9993
      @moonhunter9993 5 месяцев назад +1

      very wise... took me decades to learn this lesson

    • @MalikaBourne
      @MalikaBourne 5 месяцев назад

      @@moonhunter9993 Decades for me to learn as well. (Not many knew this stuff until recently.)

  • @PurplePinkRed
    @PurplePinkRed 11 месяцев назад +83

    Such great information! As someone who grew up with a mother who has strong narc traits, people pleasing and twisting myself like a pretzel to suit her needs was the only way to survive. Learning piece by piece to have boundaries and not allow others to push me around at work. Not getting involved in company gossip is a really good one. If they'll gossip to you, they'll gossip about you.

    • @sherryab3964
      @sherryab3964 11 месяцев назад

      💯 agree! My utmost respect to you 🙌 I’m a therapist and had some clients, friends and co-workers who have narcissistic parents. You are incredibly strong!

    • @kiyasuihito
      @kiyasuihito 10 месяцев назад +1

      I relate 🎉

    • @urvashi-rb9qy
      @urvashi-rb9qy Месяц назад +1

      This is the same case with me. I invested around 19 years to always ensure the narcs in my life felt comfortable in their life(which they never did). All this goes to my narc parents who conditioned me to think only about others well being and never your own. Time to reclaim my life.

    • @myfuturepuglife
      @myfuturepuglife Месяц назад

      We are survivors! I can't recall just how many hits to the head and face I received from my loving mother.

  • @susanwoodcarver
    @susanwoodcarver 11 месяцев назад +40

    Ah.. Looking back at my business life, I recall telling one of my directors (a full-blown narcissist) that unless it was business related, I did not have time to discuss anything with her. And so she left. 30 minutes later, she entered my office, closed the door and laid down on the floor, next to my desk, in a fetal position.
    I ignored her, and continued working. After three minutes had elapsed, I took a sweater I had in the drawer and threw it over her shoulders. I never said a word to her. She stayed on the floor for a full 15 minutes. Eventually she got up, nicely folded the sweater, placed it on my desk and left. I must’ve done the correct thing because she never tried that stunt again.
    Your lovely channel brings back such memories.❤

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  11 месяцев назад +10

      Well I will tell you that story was most interesting--and a first--and I think you handled it magnificently :)

    • @susanwoodcarver
      @susanwoodcarver 11 месяцев назад +6

      @@TheWizardOfWords Because this was so outlandish, this experience (and this crazy lady) often comes to mind. It always makes me wonder if I handled it correctly, or if I should have done something differently. I’ve never had anyone to ask.
      Thank you so much. After all these years, you’ve put my mind to rest. ☺️💜

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  11 месяцев назад +5

      Very happy to help, Susan😎

    • @susanwoodcarver
      @susanwoodcarver 11 месяцев назад +2

      @@TheWizardOfWords 💜

    • @moonhunter9993
      @moonhunter9993 5 месяцев назад +1

      Glad you didn't get sucked into that...

  • @_Sandra
    @_Sandra 6 месяцев назад +6

    Over the years I developed a mental jiu-jiutsu defense system against narcissists. It sucks when the mask falls and you had no idea who they are :( But having a great strategy helps. I usually ignore them and outsmart them whenever I can.

  • @katielewis6128
    @katielewis6128 11 месяцев назад +47

    I hear you Dan! It gets difficult when the narcissist is being enabled and affirmed by the boss though. Using the language you're suggesting actually worked against me and I got fired by trying to engage with them.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  11 месяцев назад +6

      Really? This exact language and tone? Can you tell me the exact language you used that got you fired?

    • @nopereradicator
      @nopereradicator 11 месяцев назад +14

      There really is nothing you can do to save yourself with these types. How can you when they’re committed to miscommunication? The best course of action I’ve found is to use take a page from their playbook. Don’t tackle the narc, tackle your other coworkers minds first.

    • @Morgan313
      @Morgan313 11 месяцев назад +17

      I'm guessing they got DARVO’ed - a sophisticated retaliation technique that has 3 steps: Deny; Attack; Reverse Victim and Offender. The only way to defend yourself in this situation is lawyer up (employment law) or leave.

    • @SilverCottage
      @SilverCottage 11 месяцев назад +4

      I havent worked in 20 years because of disability but Ive learned a lot about group dynamics. Your stuff can be adapted to many different venues.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  11 месяцев назад +2

      Yes, it can and I hope it is, SilverCottage.

  • @andreaviola8675
    @andreaviola8675 11 месяцев назад +35

    OMG The " Pity them" faces made me laugh so hard that I cried. THAT WAS FANTASTIC I could so go out to cocktails and dinner and after dinner drinks with Dan.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  11 месяцев назад +8

      As long as you are paying, Andrea . . . .

    • @andreaviola8675
      @andreaviola8675 11 месяцев назад +2

      @@TheWizardOfWords It would be my pleasure Dan.

    • @Canuckbelgo
      @Canuckbelgo 4 месяца назад

      😂😂😂 Dan, I LOVE your humour, omg ! 😂😂😂

  • @licksnkicks1166
    @licksnkicks1166 11 месяцев назад +21

    I work with some. My boss has to always be the centre of attention. No one can be better then her!

  • @flowergirl-yz3ki
    @flowergirl-yz3ki 11 месяцев назад +15

    You are so hilarious! That's what helps me learn & remember my go-to phrases.

  • @amberdgilman
    @amberdgilman 11 месяцев назад +19

    My boss is absolutely a covert. 😅 every email is you’re doing it wrong. Thank goodness. I’m still doing your job 🙄

  • @keltaruusutravels4024
    @keltaruusutravels4024 10 месяцев назад +8

    Your saying the words it's zero importance, whose fault is irrelevant, no consequence, etc was so comforting. It completely kills stress and made me want to work hard at being part of the solution. It's really motivational.

  • @CandyCarbonnier
    @CandyCarbonnier 11 месяцев назад +26

    i'm married to a pathetic covert narcissist. this video is so spot-on accurate- as usual! 🎉❤

    • @TheMary0831
      @TheMary0831 11 месяцев назад +9

      My condolences. Yikes.

    • @TASconfidential
      @TASconfidential 11 месяцев назад +5

      When will you be planning the divorce?

    • @denster77
      @denster77 11 месяцев назад +3

      I was married to a covert narcissist too, for 11 years. Learning to deal with people and situations all over again cause they mess with the mind by chaos and confusion.

  • @vickigonya9432
    @vickigonya9432 11 месяцев назад +16

    Great information! Thankfully I am retired so no corporate office politics, drama, personalities, or meetings. That said, same could be used at family Thanksgiving tables. ❤
    Won't be engaging there either❤ I've opted out😊 looking so forward to a peaceful, unencumbered holiday season - no hustle and bustle, no stress , just happily unplugged❤❤

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  11 месяцев назад +2

      Well, Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming soon . . . . :)

    • @vickigonya9432
      @vickigonya9432 11 месяцев назад

      @@TheWizardOfWords daylight savings ends tomorrow 😱😰😭 so many things to do. I hope you and your family and loved ones, friends, etc have a fulfilling wonderful holiday season! 😊 Thank you for sharing all this wonderful knowledge. There really isn't anywhere we can learn it in high school or college prior to entering the work force. I'm retired but it was very difficult for me to navigate human relationships. I always felt being forthright, honest, cards on the table, open, giving, accepting of positive corrective critism and self correction and self improvement were the way to go. Apparently not. 😝

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  11 месяцев назад +2

      Vicki I think you have beautifully outlined "the way to go." However--we have to know that most times it is uphill--yet onward we go. Sometimes, however, we all need a little help in protecting boundaries and navigating relationships when people around us think life is a competition, and they have to win at all costs.

    • @vickigonya9432
      @vickigonya9432 11 месяцев назад

      @@TheWizardOfWords Yes, correct. I wish I'd had the benefit of your expertise from my 20's through my 50's 😍

  • @bugsea54
    @bugsea54 11 месяцев назад +13

    Great information. I need all the help I can get. I have a co-worker who triggers me every time I talk to him, and I know it's on purpose. That makes it more infuriating. We work from home, so I decided I will not answer my phone ever again when he calls. Text only! Virtual group meetings when he talks, I completely check out so he doesn't trigger me in front of people. I can not let him trigger me any more, he gets off on it, ugh!. He doesn't care about anyone but himself. He is no team player. I'm constantly picking up his slack, and yes, my supervisor knows. I do it to get the job done. I know he has mental health issues but I'm sick of him getting a pass over it.

    • @TheMary0831
      @TheMary0831 11 месяцев назад +3

      He would def get narcissistic supply if you react. It's good you cut off his narc high.

    • @jamesrutter4100
      @jamesrutter4100 11 месяцев назад +3

      Document everything

    • @arizonanative7409
      @arizonanative7409 Месяц назад +1

      Yes - the narcissist gets off on pretty much one thing: manipulation.

  • @yang7436
    @yang7436 11 месяцев назад +6

    Hilarious and well organized video.
    Like your 'pity face'.I do 'pity words'.It's very powerful and healing at the same time.

  • @geddon436
    @geddon436 11 месяцев назад +30

    Dan, I come for the communication videos, and also learn about the deeper psychology of people behind these behavior traits. It's enlightening.

  • @rakastellar8955
    @rakastellar8955 8 месяцев назад +6

    Unfortunately I saw too late that we had a narcissist on the team. Only when he stole my work and claimed it as his own and then proceeded to badmouth me on the team

    • @MalikaBourne
      @MalikaBourne 5 месяцев назад

      That sucks. I'm sorry you had to deal with that cr@p.

  • @devinl8487
    @devinl8487 11 месяцев назад +3

    Preach! I actually have a narcissistic PTA mom that I will be effectively shutting down at the next meeting thanks to you Dan! 👏

  • @cigdemylmaz1532
    @cigdemylmaz1532 11 месяцев назад +12

    Wow best video ever on narcissists ! And I have watched a lot !

  • @healthstartshere
    @healthstartshere 11 месяцев назад +10

    This video was BRILLIANT!!! Thank you so much. I’m always looking for this topic and never find it quite this specific. It’s usually “toxic people in the workplace” which is good but doesn’t zero in on the narcissists. I would really love to see a series on this🙏🏼 because it has been such a challenge for me in my jobs. I would love to see topics include narcissistic female supervisors and mean girls and how to navigate politics at work with narcissists because they usually have some level of power- both socially and hierarchically. People usually kiss their ass to stay in good graces. What is a good way to deal with these issues and not hold resentment all the time or get in bad graces with the narcissist with power and suffer the consequences ? I’d love to see more on this🙏🏼thank you!!!!!!!

  • @melindakeown7500
    @melindakeown7500 11 месяцев назад +7

    New Subscriber!!🎉 I’ve spent days searching “tough coworker issues” with little takeaway. Then💥BAM💥finally found the perfect channel!🙌🏼
    Your content is the key 🔐 to successfully navigating the workplace ~or life in general!! I’m loving your self disciplined, emotionally intelligent, often comical or tongue-in-cheek advice!
    And bonus points: you’re attractive with a soothing tone of voice!! My anxiety level has dropped while binge watching all your videos!!
    Thank you 🙏🏼

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  11 месяцев назад

      Well Melindakeown, you have made my day and I thank you :)

    • @Phoenix-tq8lt
      @Phoenix-tq8lt 2 месяца назад

      Hey just curious when you wrote that comment were you on any substances, medications or anything?

  • @joycereller2489
    @joycereller2489 11 месяцев назад +7

    The wisdom and love you share are like a refreshing breath of fresh air, I can’t thank you enough 💖

  • @lononya6494
    @lononya6494 11 месяцев назад +5

    Omg I needed you. There is this crazy narcissistic old lady at work she is know by ex employees for getting people fired or getting people to quit and she hates me plays weird mind head games with me all the time one minute she's giving me dirty looks acting like she's staying 10ft away from me in front of patients and other employees and next day she's all nice and endearing always talking bad about others and trying to get others in trouble I'm sick of her mind games I didn't know how to deal with her so after last Mondays bullsh** from her I'm done luckily I don't see her everyday i see her like 3 times a week but so I'm ignoring all her conversations and staying away from her unless we need to come together for work and when iv tried to ignore her b4 it bothers her alot she comes asking if I'm OK as if something must be wrong with me if I'm staying away from her. Lol I needed ur video thank you so much I'm subscribing right now. I really need help with this im a total people pleaser.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  11 месяцев назад +4

      Keep doing what you're doing--DISTANCE--she does seem like a covert narcissist, so you don't want to be alone with her AT ALL.

    • @lononya6494
      @lononya6494 10 месяцев назад

      @TheWizardOfWords ah I need to not be alone with her. Today she asked me to help her put up Christmas decor in the office. And iv been ignoring her so that was weird and like a bozo I said yes but I only helped her with 1 thing but now I will not do it again and will make sure not to be alone with her. Thank you so much for reminding me. ❤️

    • @urvashi-rb9qy
      @urvashi-rb9qy Месяц назад +1

      This same situation happened to me as well. the ex-covert narc friend always sat in front of me making her pity face and would always give me the hot and cold treatment.
      I got rid of her by always keeping my responses curt and pretending to be involved in some work so that she will eventually leave.

    • @lononya6494
      @lononya6494 Месяц назад

      @urvashi-rb9qy great idea 💡 👍 thank u iv been keeping it short and staying busy.

  • @lua5589
    @lua5589 11 месяцев назад +3

    3:40 OMG Dan! That was a true gem hidden in the middle of this video! Thank you a ton for that precious advice!❤ Xoxo from Brazil!

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  11 месяцев назад

      You're so welcome from Mexico and the U.S.

  • @shorteningbread44
    @shorteningbread44 11 месяцев назад +4

    Love this, please expand on how to address a toxic boss

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  11 месяцев назад +3

      Check out my channel--passive-aggressive bosses

  • @slickwilly8180
    @slickwilly8180 10 месяцев назад +6

    The most arrogant and abusive preachers that I have worked with will say about anyone that disagrees with them:" that person has no humility" and undermine that person relentlessly and have no understanding that they are projecting their arrogance onto others

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  10 месяцев назад +5

      In my opinion, the only religious leader worth their salt is one who recognizes he/she is here to serve the rest.

    • @moonhunter9993
      @moonhunter9993 5 месяцев назад

      @@TheWizardOfWords yes...

  • @anneoneill280
    @anneoneill280 7 месяцев назад +2

    I love you, Dan! Bobart is a perfect example!

  • @WhoWhatWhereNow
    @WhoWhatWhereNow 4 месяца назад +2

    Oh my god. I’m dealing with a coworker narcissist literally named John who is gossiping and spreading rumors about female coworkers. Thank you. Your example is so perfect and thanks for what you do. Ps eyebrows and hair on point!

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  4 месяца назад +1

      Well eyebrows are just there--but the hair does have to be combed, as my mother points out every time she sees me. Rest in peace, Mom. Someday. I AM JUST KIDDING WHEN I SAY THINGS LIKE THAT, BTW. :) :) :)

  • @laurabenson1278
    @laurabenson1278 11 месяцев назад +2

    I'm going to watch this video at least a couple times so I can remember this very helpful information.

  • @ArturoBolanos-u2b
    @ArturoBolanos-u2b 9 месяцев назад +2

    Hi Dan my name is Arturo I’m in process of writing a book and am researching. You channel full of gold nuggets. You’re a world class trainer. I hope I can be a world class trainer like you. Sincerely Arturo Bolanos Houston Texas. I only met on world class trainer named Phillipp Thalmann from Swissport. He trained me as a LEAN Coach and LEAN Facilitator Trainer.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  9 месяцев назад +1

      Happy to help in your research, Arturo. And thank you for your kind words :)

  • @quickgirl80
    @quickgirl80 11 месяцев назад +23

    The worse offenders at my work is HR & her bestie. 😓

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  11 месяцев назад +11

      HR is rarely your friend. It is a last resort and should be saved for very serious legal issues--e.g. if you feel you are in danger.

    • @kylemacdougall8355
      @kylemacdougall8355 11 месяцев назад +2

      ​@@TheWizardOfWordsWhat if you feel that you're not in any physical danger, but you ARE in danger of getting fired (due to false accusations being made against you and that kind of thing)? Is it ever a good idea to be proactive in talking to HR, or is that most likely going to backfire?

    • @jamesrutter4100
      @jamesrutter4100 11 месяцев назад

      HR departments are ALWAYS full of toxic control freaks. Record and document EVERY interaction. If I had followed these guidelines at least 3 managers of mine over the years would have been looking at lawsuits and or prison. NEVER trust them, always get evidence of thier indiscretions

    • @SteakCutFries
      @SteakCutFries 8 месяцев назад +1

      ​@kylemacdougall8355 in my experience, HR is usually there to protect the company and the company's liability in situations. When I was younger, I thought they were there to help support employees and solve issues, maybe viewed them as similar to union reps (who advocate to the company for you) but this is not what HR does. They want to minimize danger to the company/agency.

    • @Phoenix-tq8lt
      @Phoenix-tq8lt 2 месяца назад

      @@kylemacdougall8355usually backfires but you can get lucky

  • @christinecarroll543
    @christinecarroll543 7 месяцев назад +2

    I think you may be my favorite narcissist whisperer yet! Brilliant

  • @AnnaAwesome77
    @AnnaAwesome77 Месяц назад +1

    I’m so proud of myself for handling both covert and plain old narcissistic coworkers today. I set my boundary and said what I expect and how I feel when they do behaviors xyz…I don’t think they will change, but I have set my boundaries and that’s huge. 🎉 I’m in charge of my reaction and leave them at work.
    If they treat me like this, this how they treat everyone …it’s not personal it’s a mental illness.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  Месяц назад +1

      You should be VERY proud of yourself for establishing boundaries. You may have to re-establish them time and again; be prepared to do that.

    • @AnnaAwesome77
      @AnnaAwesome77 Месяц назад +1

      @@TheWizardOfWords thank you! You bring strength, humor, and tools to my life.
      Thank you so much😘🦋❤️💫🌎🫶🏾🙏😎🥸💐

    • @AnnaAwesome77
      @AnnaAwesome77 Месяц назад +1

      Also, you inspired me to start vlogging about being a kind person and what you may face when you live happy and positive despite all the odds.

  • @imanidemilo7367
    @imanidemilo7367 17 дней назад +1

    Helpful, actionable, powerful. Thank you so much.

  • @giselerose8391
    @giselerose8391 11 месяцев назад +2

    Oh, Dan, speaking the truth with instruction🥰 So right! I don’t want to take that narcissist home with me in my mind, which is far too easy to do when overwhelmed!!

  • @dvende
    @dvende 11 месяцев назад +3

    I’m new to your work and dang I wish I would’ve found you years ago 🙏As a self-described light in the world, I’ve attracted these types my whole life they’re everywhere and it’s exhausting. I think the problem is far worse than I thought and I was just putting lipstick on a pig lol I love the phrases that you give people to use . Thank you so much since I turned 40 I ain’t got time for shenanigans no more. Thank you for being here!

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  11 месяцев назад +1

      Thanks much t0talrecall. 40? You're just a kid! :)

  • @heidibedoya
    @heidibedoya 6 месяцев назад +2

    I want to say that”If I had free time I would be home” 😒 lol🤣

  • @montsergirl
    @montsergirl 11 месяцев назад +1

    This is so helpful! Too many narcissists in the work place lately. Ooo I like the “they aren’t in the room to defend themselves, that’s poor form”.

  • @lovelylife1896
    @lovelylife1896 5 месяцев назад +2

    Exactly ! My store manager needs to see this ..she let's my narcissistic manager tells her what to do and me and this lady has gotten into it bc she so petty ...crazy part is she doesn't even have to work but see work is her way to CONTROL... I can't stand her and she knows it ... I PRAY for my sanity when I'm round her cause she steady plotting and keeping up ish

  • @LuzDelJesus
    @LuzDelJesus 11 месяцев назад +2

    You are preachin to me today!! Dropping some sacred messages 🙏🏻 def divinely sent 🌈💜

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  11 месяцев назад

      Wonderful!

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  11 месяцев назад

      Luz, consider pressing that "join" button and becoming a member of my channel :)

  • @Spartacus2474
    @Spartacus2474 5 месяцев назад +6

    They are aways obssessed with their cell phones.

  • @dmc8161
    @dmc8161 11 месяцев назад +16

    You make this so easy to digest and put into practice. I just love your information and teaching style!

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  11 месяцев назад +1

      I appreciate that, dmc and as always, I thank you for your membership:) :)

  • @jeanmarierock4603
    @jeanmarierock4603 11 месяцев назад +2

    How did you become so people knowledgeable!? Every time I watch you, I'm amazed by your emotional intelligence. Thank you for sharing 💗

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  11 месяцев назад +4

      Jeanmarierock--if my mother sees your handle, she'll steal it :). To answer your question--I try very hard to stay awake and alert on this brief journey and encourage others to do the same.

    • @jeanmarierock4603
      @jeanmarierock4603 11 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@TheWizardOfWords it's my REAL name ,lol😂 thanks for sharing your knowledge ❤

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  11 месяцев назад +1

      Well the Jean Marie part is my mother's name, and she only WISHES she rocks. (Just kidding, Mom; don't call me up and give me a speech--please.)

    • @jeanmarierock4603
      @jeanmarierock4603 11 месяцев назад

      @@TheWizardOfWords I'm positive your Mom "Rocks" with a son as well spoken, and with your quick wit, I know she raised you just right. I appreciate your advice on handling difficult people, it really valuable information! Thanks again for all your advice. 🙏❤🕊

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  11 месяцев назад +1

      Yes truth be told my mom rocks.

  • @jennifermoyer622
    @jennifermoyer622 7 месяцев назад +1

    You are THE best communication coach ever! I can’t take your course at this time, but I have already decided to after I graduate. I’m going to watch ALL you videos. 🙏

  • @kyki8512
    @kyki8512 Месяц назад +1

    New subbie here! I just accidentally stumbled across this video and I absolutely love you! 👏👏👏🥰👍 You made me laugh so hard but you also got your point across too!😂😂😂😂 AWESOME! 🤜🤛❤️💯💯💯

  • @hanabihaku8732
    @hanabihaku8732 6 месяцев назад +1

    Great video! I found out that my colleague talked to my boss about me behind my back. Now whenever my colleague and I discuss about work on social media, I would email her and cc my boss. She has started to talk to me less.

  • @AAPAI_24
    @AAPAI_24 2 месяца назад

    The opening line, is so spot on. I have worked with an entire collective of people like this for a while and this past year, I had enough. I have no interest in gossip, petty fights, absurd competition and people selling their grandmother for some extra work or prominence. They crush anyone who doesn't agree with the Stasi protocols and they thrive on the divide and conquer. I already said what I had to say to the 'boss' and made it clear that their narrative is something I have no interest in entertaining. My work is untouchable, and as I am freelance, no, I wont provide a 'summary' of 'evidence' of downright dishonest behaviours taking place that I pointed out. I openly challenged their bullying and gaslighting and made it clear I know and I won't back it up. I turn up to deliver my work, clock out and go home. I told them that anything else, including meetings, are billable hours. They went quiet very quickly.They are mercenary and I can't wait to not to have to turn up anymore. Meanwhile, I am happy enjoying my work. F8*** them.

  • @TheMary0831
    @TheMary0831 11 месяцев назад +6

    My coworker narc (overt) is a steamroller. I won't even bother trying to bust in. She can't take any criticism, to the point where when we had an anonymous poll on how well our migration was done, and 2 people out of 12 said it was not run well, she spent a half hour of the meeting explaining how these people are wrong, and how hard the "team" (e.g., her) worked and pulled it off. She was a disaster in the migration, even though she did work hard, she sowed confusion and chaos all throughout. She's smart, though, and I refuse to compete with that level of manipulative.

  • @keithlightminder3005
    @keithlightminder3005 11 месяцев назад +2

    Very helpful and funny. Boundaries, documentation, compassion and clearness

  • @christinemuok9712
    @christinemuok9712 11 месяцев назад +1

    You are God's blessings. You have helped me countless times dealing with difficult people and my lack of skills to communicate effectively. I have learned a lot for the past 5 or 6 years from you and today...I had to go back and do a refresher and as always m..you provide effective skills and an outlook to understand other people better. Thank you so much.

  • @annieplourde1110
    @annieplourde1110 11 месяцев назад +8

    Love what you do Dan. However, please use psychology terms carefully. Psychosis should not be lumped with psychopathy. Those who experience psychosis are not psychopaths. I think that's a widespread misconception that needs to be clarified ❤. Thanks for the great food for thought as always. Everyone can benefit from learning about narcissism. Doing so honestly changed my life.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  11 месяцев назад +5

      Thanks for the clarification, Annie. I appreciate it.

    • @moonhunter9993
      @moonhunter9993 5 месяцев назад

      It's not the same... however, people with personality disorders can have psychotic episodes, delusions etc. It's not always obvious...

    • @Da_bear-ij9gm
      @Da_bear-ij9gm 5 месяцев назад

      I’d agree in principle about not co-opting psych terms, but on the other hand, we need to concede when a word has entered popular vernacular and pay attention to the connotation vs merely the denotation. Otherwise you’ll end up being the person chastising others for saying something entirely benign like “this song is depressing”

  • @Gemisnotmyname
    @Gemisnotmyname 9 месяцев назад +8

    Omg. You said it there. «Its impossible for someone who cant see the truth about themself to see you clearly»

  • @wendy33040
    @wendy33040 8 месяцев назад +2

    Taking them home with you... Resonates...😳

  • @naimahmcmillan1194
    @naimahmcmillan1194 11 месяцев назад +1

    This was great! Especially the "Bobert" narcissistic
    😅😂😆🤣

  • @cangrejitamiry
    @cangrejitamiry 11 месяцев назад +3

    Your content is so good. Thank you.

  • @marisahokefazi4735
    @marisahokefazi4735 24 дня назад +1

    Excellent advice. I wish I knew that before I married my husband.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  24 дня назад +1

      Many thanks for your membership Marissa. And I hope this video helps you in your next relationship 😉

    • @marisahokefazi4735
      @marisahokefazi4735 24 дня назад

      @@TheWizardOfWords Oh, my. Thank you.

  • @sliverscreen
    @sliverscreen 2 месяца назад +1

    This! on repeat until it’s automatic for me. Many Thanks!

  • @neoibnid303
    @neoibnid303 7 месяцев назад +2

    OMGG so many things are so clear now 😮 thank you for this video

  • @urvashi-rb9qy
    @urvashi-rb9qy Месяц назад

    you can find narcissists almost everywhere!! It's a mental gymnastics trying to guess their moves and prepare beforehand. The thing that irks most about them is every time in a group setting... they wont try to work. at all.
    they will have idle time(loud meaningless conversations right at your ear) and when you take the project in a certain manner. they have all the authority to look down on your decisions and badmouth your every action with the other people in the project. they are a headache.
    all they do is create confusion and steer the project in different ways because they cant listen the first time to anything which doesnt promote their grandiosity.
    I have to do most of the work in projects in the past because of these narcissistic folks. It is frustrating and I get more invested in doing chores that could have been done in minutes.
    I really resonated with your words "you start taking the narc with you wherever you go." Because this is exactly what i have been doing the last few months. I may have started implementing firm boundaries but i am constantly in a fight with these people in my head. time to ensure i am a safe, self-aware , loving human being.
    I guess a lot of people are in this together. Fighting to everyone!

  • @LunaLucie3911
    @LunaLucie3911 11 месяцев назад +4

    Thank you ❤ Great advice! Very helpful tools ✌️

  • @sondessomar1487
    @sondessomar1487 8 месяцев назад +1

    I’m laughing 😂😂😂. I have a colleague who I respond to the way you describe it in the video and it works!!

  • @annandall9118
    @annandall9118 11 месяцев назад +1

    😂 I love you. I woke up feeling flat. I watched this video and it made me chuckle. You're brilliant. Thank you x

  • @stephenhedman2161
    @stephenhedman2161 11 месяцев назад +1

    I've studied the topic as I have experience in my field of work. You nailed it. Your topics were so helpful. Thank you.

  • @a.d.b535
    @a.d.b535 11 месяцев назад +2

    "public urination" LOL!

  • @AlwaysASolution-qj9be
    @AlwaysASolution-qj9be 11 месяцев назад +2

    One of your best videos! Great content and excellent suggestions!

  • @LeafsIn2025
    @LeafsIn2025 5 месяцев назад

    Valuable information and advice that should be a part of every new employee orientation and Health and Safety meetings (especially during mental health month) and annual courses!
    If you're a union member, always insist on your union steward being present.
    Great video, Dan!
    Thank you!

  • @Saidwhatisaid11
    @Saidwhatisaid11 9 месяцев назад

    YES, the armor I equipped was- learn their language…and identify them to protect myself. You’re totally spot on. Thank you for the insight. I’ve gotten REALLY good at identifying different types of people.. not by body language- but down to how they dress, where they’ve shown up (let’s say they’re dressed like they’re high class, and randomly choose to eat that the hood McDonald’s, knowing there was a more corporate run location in their neighborhood) 😂😮‍💨

  • @tiffize4560
    @tiffize4560 5 месяцев назад +2

    How do you deal with a boss who always has a bigger workload or bigger "issues" than you and when you seek guidance or help, they say things like, "oh you're overwhelmed?? Have you seen my desk? Everyone is drowning... 🤷‍♀️"

  • @roxr.9823
    @roxr.9823 11 месяцев назад +2

    Thank you I love this so much

  • @Blobbert_8
    @Blobbert_8 5 месяцев назад +2

    Is it better to pretend to go along with covert narcissists?
    I have one that if I am nice and professional with, they treat me better.
    It’s not much but things like agreeing with me in public or being more pleasant to work with. But then they never stop being passive aggressive to anyone, even me.
    I have a colleague…they keep trying to have a “chat” with me to discuss work. Usually it’s fine if I keep it brief and stay on work.
    But I’m in a precarious situation, this person is good friends with my big boss who will decide whether I can get loaned out it to another team. They know I was pretty much harassed by a completely different employee and I asked to go to my old boss’ team. I’m worried about annoying the covert narcissist. He’s very petty & competitive and my current boss says he is “always so kind”. He’s worked here for more than 20 years and many people at my workplace gossip and have also worked here for 20 years.
    Thanks for reading of you made it this far!

  • @lbrowning2543
    @lbrowning2543 11 месяцев назад +3

    Rofl 😂 “Lauren Hitler over and over again.”Explains a lot! Thanks!

  • @operastarkitty
    @operastarkitty 11 месяцев назад +2

    Excellent advice.

  • @AnnK.-vu2yp
    @AnnK.-vu2yp 2 месяца назад

    I have a weird but serious question. How did you become so wise? I’m always so amazed by the depth of your wisdom and am so curious where it comes from in you

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 месяца назад

      I had wonderful teachers, AnnK--from my grandparents to my parents to my brother and friends and teachers and BOOKS. I tried to pay attention :). I study people and find they are actually a more accurate source of information about what works in communication, than all my formal education classes combined. :)

  • @ryennelangford9724
    @ryennelangford9724 Месяц назад

    I wasn't sure if my coworker was a narcissist, but I'm certain he is now. My husband and I work together. We're a great team and mostly enjoy our jobs, but we have a coworker who is driving us both crazy. It's much harder to leave it at work when both of us are dealing with this guy everyday.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  Месяц назад

      Maybe you could designate a few minutes before dinner to talk about this guy and then drop the topic. Whether political or personal--difficult people can become our obsessions, and we don't want that. It is not productive or healthy. Just ask your children--who want your time and attention. And if you have no children, you two deserve the time and attention of one another.

  • @Brain_Kandi
    @Brain_Kandi 8 месяцев назад

    I come for the knowledge, and stay for the sass !

  • @MalikaBourne
    @MalikaBourne 5 месяцев назад

    "Smokey Eyes and Pageant Hair"...got my attention!

  • @abbyparsons1565
    @abbyparsons1565 2 месяца назад

    First time to watch and I learned so much. The passive and then the active voice and how to speak to them -- I need to use both. You are a life saver.

  • @WeR1bodyNChrist
    @WeR1bodyNChrist 10 месяцев назад +1

    Well said, and a little humor to go with it. ❤😂

  • @newpilgrim
    @newpilgrim 11 месяцев назад +1

    Love it! Practical gems! Many thanks!🚀

  • @jemimahbelsi6081
    @jemimahbelsi6081 5 дней назад

    Thank you for sharing this.

  • @aramiebloom7257
    @aramiebloom7257 Месяц назад

    THANK YOU. Just thank you for this video.

  • @aliciatorres91
    @aliciatorres91 11 месяцев назад +1

    Okay you’re amazingly on point!

  • @prussian5770
    @prussian5770 11 месяцев назад +6

    Arrogant people will betray..wow. I see it, but wow.

  • @stummkind
    @stummkind 11 месяцев назад +3

    I just have the issue, I have PTSD, it's healed as much as I can, I don't have flashbacks and such. But when I'm threatened verbally in a group or public setting, my nervous system just goes into panic mode. 😭 What can I do to stay calm and collected?

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  11 месяцев назад +1

      Stummkind, box breathing is the best advice I can give, however given what you've described I would recommend that you get advice from a therapist more knowledgable about PTSD than I.

  • @SunnyDallasRealtor
    @SunnyDallasRealtor 10 месяцев назад

    DANG - your boebert caricature is a brilliant demonstrative 💥

  • @Quaagin
    @Quaagin 11 месяцев назад +6

    This video was incredibly informative and very accurate and I was intently engaged...
    Except for at the end when he went into an unusal political rant that seemed, frankly, irrelevant. I don't really know anything about Lauren Boebert but, the segment in this video about her seemed to be very out of place and really confused me.
    I just can't seem to understand the point of all that. I feel like it really took away from the video.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  11 месяцев назад +4

      Quaagin, first, please learn about Ms. Boebert and then return to the video.

  • @cagal1066
    @cagal1066 2 месяца назад

    😂 the glasses flick! 👓🔥

  • @karensmith1037
    @karensmith1037 11 месяцев назад +1

    Helpful and clear as always.

  • @moonhunter9993
    @moonhunter9993 5 месяцев назад +2

    Lauren H!tLer... you're sooo funny 🤣🤣🤣

  • @Canuckbelgo
    @Canuckbelgo 4 месяца назад

    I work for the EU in Brussels and am a 55 year old woman. I'm now in a new job and omg, there are 3 other assistants : 1 outright narc and 1 covert.
    I nearly CHOKED when you said, "Hey narky narc." 😂😂😂😂😂
    Ok the subject is extremely serious but you made me ROAR !!!
    THANK YOU ! 😂😂😂❤
    Everything you said is SOOOO reassuring and I loved your delivery !
    Ok, tomorrow I will know what to say.
    I mean no one would ever think of me as a person who finds herself as a "victim" of these people as I'm extraverted and kind but hooooo mama, I must attract these kinds like flies to poo. 🤔
    Omg the getting-us-alone covert narcs : wow! I hadn't seen that.
    I was telling my husband, as a newcomer to the division, and hearing the covert talk about the overt only made me think : omg FOR SURE they will be talking about me.
    Anyway, I have to repeat : I love your way of delivering the message with the music and your way of talking.
    Again, thank you for this video! I'm going to search out more from you.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  4 месяца назад +1

      Thanks Canuckbelgo; I appreciate your message :)

    • @Canuckbelgo
      @Canuckbelgo 4 месяца назад

      @@TheWizardOfWords je vous en prie, monsieur ! 🙂👍

  • @FortBaker2011
    @FortBaker2011 11 месяцев назад +1

    I love this!!!

  • @Julie-sr5di
    @Julie-sr5di 10 месяцев назад +1

    This is so entertaining 😂❤

  • @kitty2doggyMeow
    @kitty2doggyMeow 6 месяцев назад

    I am dealing with a narcissist and recently he just repeated (word for word), my argument to other people claiming it was his argument, and yet that argument contradicted his whole point.

  • @sherryab3964
    @sherryab3964 11 месяцев назад

    I think I’ve worked with a Tootsie and Trixie at every work place 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @alexandraacreator-art
    @alexandraacreator-art 10 дней назад

    Great video. I lalso ove your humour.

  • @j.t.1215
    @j.t.1215 3 месяца назад

    I really wish they would make and implement Dan O'Connor Training for kids, both in middle school and high school. I can imagine a world where people speak their truth in love❤

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  3 месяца назад +1

      That's quite a compliment and I thank you. There are charter schools that use my program, but there is no formal course in public schools. I think perhaps it's time for mindfulness to be part of decision-making courses :)

    • @j.t.1215
      @j.t.1215 2 месяца назад

      @@TheWizardOfWords I would insist upon it if I had kids in school.