I work as a licensed clinical therapist in LA. I just quit from an extremely toxic work environment and nothing has ever felt so good and freeing as choosing not to put myself in a situation like that anymore. Trust me peeps, NOTHING is worth destroying your mental health over.
“HR exists to save the company from lawsuits.” FACTS...I learned that the hard way when I left my last toxic job, they are definitely there as a lap dog for upper management. Going to them did nothing except frustrate me more because nothing really changed.
Same thing happen to me.. After i went to HR to complain about being harassl, my manager was talking shit about me for not "being an adult" and ignore the people who were harassing me.. Thanks HR😘
My boss was the type of women who would take credit for the work you did for her. She later turned around and lied about he to get me fired. Wasn’t worth fighting it..Thank you for this video. We do not talk enough about psycho bosses who need to feel powerful. People like Ellen eventually see their day.
I recently quit my job to start serving because my boss was so horrible. He was so angry when I quit & told my coworkers that I wasn’t going to make the money I thought I was at my new job because “no one is going out to eat”. My last paycheck was double what he paid me, and that’s not even including cash tips. And on top of that, my new bosses are genuinely good people who treat me with respect. I couldn’t be happier with my decision to leave.
There are two kinds of bad bosses I've had to deal with: 1) The boss who is bad at their job but blames everyone else for their failures. 2) The boss who hides in their office all day and never actually sees what's happening in the rest of the workplace.
I own a Logistics company with 5 guys, we do not and will not ever tolerate bullying, we even pay a hefty price tag to have a full time coach on staff to make sure no one (including us owners) allows our company to become a toxic environment. We take that very seriously
The fact she pushed so hard the "be kind" was a clue she really wasn't. People who are truly kind, don't have to brag about being kind, they just are. She should be besties with Meghan Markle, same type of individuals, who present one face to the public are completely different behind closed doors.
I admit, I was gullible with Ellen. I'm shocked. I wasn't gullible with Meghan. But Ellen had me fooled. The old adage: tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are - should be used to identify these fake celebs. They do flock together.
I had a bully boss , but it was my dream job and I wanted the experience i had one day I broke down and cried and from that moment on I started being stone cold and “mean” right back to him, I never showed my emotions and that gave me leverage, and he backed off, I also showed unpredictability especially in manners of projects that were deadline crucial for him, I made sure to be the only one who could do it right and once I got him hooked with quick work he essentially NEEDED ME, and I never shared anything personal but I made sure to keep tabs on him which gives you power and which throws off a bully, and shows them you’re not afraid to get them back or do some potential harm. Sometimes you have to show your teeth and they’ll back off you.
My ex boss hired me to be an editor on news pieces for the UK media. She is from East Asia and not a native English speaker. I soon discovered she wouldn't take any editing suggestions, even if they were grammatically correct. She would gaslight me and try to make me think my English and writing style were problematic, even though I'm a native English speaker and an experienced editor. "But I looked it up in the Oxford English Dictionary" became a common lie she would resort to. I became accustomed to feeling I could never do anything right for this boss. After a year, I filed a grievance and she devoted every waking hour to making my life at work a living hell. I spent so much time and energy fighting it, trying to convince HR her actions were a violation of UK employment law. In the end, I had to face my fear of unemployment by quitting during the start of a global pandemic without another job at the end of it. After quitting, I published a book and found another job where I earned more money and was treated respectfully. If you are facing a situation like this, just leave--it's frightening at first but it's so much better on the other side.
I agree. And don't stay longer in a toxic place than a year because it changes you. You'll be wounded. The faster you leave the sooner the wounds will heal.
When I was 19 I worked for a small company as a cake decorator. One day, the cashier manager (a 50-some year old who regularly attempted to flirt w me) walked behind me and smacked my ass. I tried to do “the right thing” by going to HR, and what did they do? They asked me if I “felt comfortable talking to him about it” because, essentially, they didn’t want to “get involved”. HR often does nothing to protect you. Protect yourself 💗.
@@wurlycurlygirly you’re right, it very well may have been the right thing, but in retrospect (& with the experience I have now) I would’ve called him out on the spot and stood up for myself. 💗
I had something similar happen to me. A woman, my supervisor shoved me. I went to her boss, our manager, and I agreed to do the "right thing" and join them for a meeting. Bad bad bad decision. Then I went to HR, another bad decision. I went to the EEOC but the attorney discouraged me from filing because I wanted a new position in the organization. Basically he told me that the org will discriminate against me if I blow the whistle on my supervisor.🙄
It’s actually wild how you’re always right about celebrities, you call things out early and then it comes out in the media a few months or weeks later 😂 Are you secretly a psychologist or psychic shallon??
Your story is inspiring. I had a psycho boss and she taught me so much about the correct way of defending myself - by gathering tangible evidence I could later present to HR. However, the ultimate conclusion was that I HAD to leave that job, no alternative would have worked but my victory was defined as a healthy severance package.
the boss I quit was very soft spoken, always a smile on her face but she would get me out in the middle of my class (I'm a teacher) to say something really mean or threaten me (with a smile, of course) and then leave to try to destabilize me, among many countless other things she's done, like forbid me to talk to other coworkers for no reason. I did exactly what you say in this video: kept quiet, pretended I was fine and then quit my job the day before summer vacation and she kept asking what was I gonna do next for a job, obsessively. she still has a hard time keeping employees to this day meanwhile I'm now a private teacher and my own goddamn boss.
When the toxic boss asks you to come over to discuss the situation after you have quit - don't go. It's only for them to explain why you were wrong and how you don't understand how things work.
This. But I had no choice but to go to work because I’m a massage therapist, put in my 2 weeks and finished out my book. She made sure to be there and harass me saying she didn’t know why I was quitting. Super unprofessional.
I work in a non-corporate setting. I'm a live sound engineer and I work in concert production. My boss, who is the company owner, is a total jackass but falls under the "bully" category. There is no HR- it's a midsized production company. I finally figured out how to deal with my boss, though. I act bored by everything he says. Ever since I started doing that, he talks to me completely differently. It's how I'm getting by until I can get on with a bigger company.
"you could be right or you could be happy". I live by this quote. It could apply on many situations in life, like "arguing" with stubborn or stupid people, waiting in line at supermarket etc.
How I survived toxic work bully past and present - when you are in survival mode, I tell yourself (not the bully, ever) ‘this isn’t my last stop in my career for me, this job however is the best they can ever do. I can and will leave.’ And quietly go about be awesome at being you. Quiet confidence
Hi Shallon. I'm not sure you if you will read this. I just left a toxic job 3 weeks ago. I agree with several of your points. I have an HR background and what said about motives in a company is unfortunately true. The previous company I work for my boss was a textbook psychopath. The rules and standards would change all the time. We were pretty sure he bugged the phones. He would call me a dumb kid if I didn't agree with him. (I'm 24). One time it was so toxic I was told I was going to be wrote up and I was given a bonus check in the same day. I'm not kidding.I can't prove it for sure but I think he was stealing from the company. That was my straw and I litterally throw up on my lunch break over it. I worked very hard for 2 months to get another job. I had 8 interviews in 8 weeks. I was a tyical grey man its important to give no information to destory or manipulative you. I now have a new job with a fortune 500 company and making double the amount of money. I want to thank you Shallon for helping me see I was better than how I was being treated.
Shallon you need to do more Harry & Meghan psycho analyzing. Harry just said in a podcast something snarky & whiny about his Royal genetics and how his dad treated him how he was treated idk all’s I heard was way way wahhhhh 😩
OMG Shallon, You are so right. Everyone has been under a bully boss in one job or other. And HR does not care. I listened to a girl on RUclips that works in HR. She said that they don't care about your problems. It's hard to give your heart and soul to a job and then them fire you. The fear of leaving and not having another job or money to survive is very powerful. These bullys take a piece of you every time until you feel like you have nothing else to give.
I have always been able to find the silver lining even in a crappy job, but recently I had a similar experience with a boss who was AWFUL, same thing, I would cry the entire drive home. I would cry on my drive in to work (but I found out just how excellent my waterproof mascara was), i would walk around the suburb my job was in and cry during lunch or shut myself in the bathroom and cry. It was awful. I had left a job I loved to go there. I quit for the first time EVER with no plan. I had another job within 5 days with a company that I adore working with a team who love me and who I love. So worth jumping ship
The worst ones to work for are the ones that get visibly enraged when you are pleasant to them. Worked for one before. She was so toxic I had to quit otherwise I would have flunked out of college. And the HR manager was her bestie so it was pretty much a disaster. I've since moved on. Tip: when someone shows you how crazy they are, leave IMMEDIATELY. Don't wait it out. It's not worth it. They will ruin your life if you let them. Always put yourself first.
Her lack of acknowledgement for her behaviour is so frustrating for us and the people that suffered working with her. This shows her lack of self awareness and empathy. Karma finally cancelled her. We are not going to miss her at all.
My coworker is a bully, she constantly would yell at me and turn around the words in my mouth and be mean to me. So one time I told her that I feel like she doesn’t like me and that I don’t want her to yell at me cause it’s not professional. She turned around and said “she is from New York and very loud” and “she is the most loving person and never means it when she yells” so she basically has lighted me into thinking I was crazy for thinking like the yelling was disrespectful. That is the worst kind of coworker, even when you try to be professional and try to work it out they just gas light you and gossip behind your back
My toxic boss was trying to get me fired because she knew I didn’t like her even though she was literally bullying me everyday and she made me cry (which probably made her happy) but thankfully it led to me leaving the job only 2 months in. A few months later a found a job that paid me WAY more & I have the most amazing bosses. Quit your job if it’s taking a toll on you because you’ll find something a million times better.
It has always bothered me how she digs into her celebrity “friends” personal life. Would ask super awkward intimate questions in front of cameras, they’d clearly be sooo uncomfortable but that somehow marketed as FuNnY 🙄 not to mention scaring them etc.
I just remembered that years ago she asked Robert Downey Jr about his smoking habit, and he clearly didn’t like that question. So he threw it right back at her because she smokes too! She wasn’t very happy either. It was amazing lol
Reminds me of a 2018 clip I saw with Carrie Underwood. She was pregnant with her second chil after 3 miscarriages And Ellen kept pushing her to reveal the baby's gender after she very clearly said she didn't want to and poor Carrie look just so uncomfortable
Yes! Remember when Ellen pressured Mariah Carey to drink alcohol to prove to her audience that she wasn't pregnant???!!! Now that's intentional cruelty!
I worked in a hostile work environment before…I was in sales and our boss had mood swings by the minute, was physically aggressive and would get in your face and then would punish/reward with accounts and your income based on her mood and how she felt about you in the moment (which wasn’t based on anything you did - just her mood in general). I’ve never had a worse time at work than that period of time…I was having panic attacks at my desk. The problem is that she reported up well. She had senior management convinced that we all loved her. We all knew that if we went over her head to senior management, they would address it with her and in turn, she would take that out on us. The only reason it got addressed is because one of our senior sales staff resigned and told senior management what was going on in her exit interview. It truly was like an abusive relationship. I’ve never felt so off balance and miserable in my job than during that time.
The "I told you so" playlist is getting bigger and I just can't help but think of that scene on Flavor of Love where they get champagne and one of the girls puts a strawberry in her glass. And that one Oprah gif. Y'all know the one. Shallon is always right, and that's that on that.
Lesson: as soon as you know you'r in a toxic environment. Use your energy to get out of it and find a place where you are valued and fulfilled. In short, get out.
I had no idea Mulaney was getting divorced. Tbh I can’t stand Olivia Munn, she’s always given me the try hard “not like other girls” vibe, and judging by how the world apparently found out about her and John Mulaney dating, she did it on purpose for attention since she fell off the face of the earth the last few years.
They are not dating, Olivia is kinda creepy and said she was obsessed with Mulaney but there are literally no pictures of them together. Is completely created by the media. Mulaney is sad AF.
the issue with harassment, sexual or moral, like you said is very difficult to prove. They are smart and they don’t write this sh*t down in e mails. Unless you record every second of you work day on a hidden cam, hoping they will say something incriminating. Unfortunately the only thing to do is quit, hoping that the next job will be less bad. I had an awful boss when I was an attorney. I still have nightmares. I quit my job. Now i am a dog walker. I love my job. My boss is cool. Yes i earn way less money and my parents are disappointed but at least I’m happy now and don’t think about ending my life anymore.
Tell it Sis! Ellen was funny when she pretended to be a meek standup in the 80's and was funny. Hollywood gave her an ounce of power and she blew it. She then pretended to reduce her self importance as a host for sale. Then, G-d forbid and R.I.P., Matthew Shepard happened and she appointed herself our (gay) godmother. Her ounce of power came calling again and she two-fisted it..... and eventually her staff and herself
Great video! It is okay to vent sometimes~ but constantly playing a victim doesn't work~ we all have options and can change our situation if we want to. It doesnt do anybody good if you get your mind stuck in a place.
I was so happy when she said goodbye finally KARMA got what she deserved should have happened earlier the insane part was how she was able to hide it for years I guarantee that HR was protecting her this whole time and finally when they were about to sink they put her in the target line.
Omg yes, please do the rhetorical fallacies. Also I thought earth tones were your thing with this hair color, but girl you're rocking that jewel tone too!
Ellen's toxicity and bullying ways shouldn't surprise anyone. It makes perfect sense that she would go this route because she was bullied way back when. Hurt people hurt people.
Many times that’s the case. Many times as a fallacy that these people are just so emotionally wounded. I believe Ellen is a psychopath, and you really can’t win them. You can piss them off and annoy them, but that’s about it. Some bullies have low self-esteem, but the vast majority are malignant narcissist who truly believe the world revolves around them and everyone should bend to their will
Brilliant video....I've also seen how HR are only there for the management...whistle blowers get shot I'm afraid. I eventually decided to have counselling to cope with my work situation. It was the best thing I ever did - but I keep my head down until my side hustle takes off. Pool your energy into something you love doing, its the only way to win.
I understand what you’re saying regarding employers not caring to a point however it really depends on the organisation and it’s size, nature of the culture etc. I work for a medium sized organisation and a woman is terminally ill and her desk was unoccupied for months while she’s been off as the ceo was and is quite upset by this and very much respectful of her, this is only one example of this but there have been many others. There are some workplaces that are genuinely caring of their employees.
I don't usually comment, but you said Truth. You gave the best advice I have heard, if you work for a bully, the best use of your time is redirect your energy. Most of these narcissistic types, or bullies, or divas have had that behavior for a long time and it isn't likely their behavior is going to change or change over night, they honestly need therapy. So it is best to let stuff go over head and bide your time until you can find a job that truly appreciates what you bring to the table. I will say, it seems like the higher the salary and profile the job is the more likely you will run into those type of people. But a McDonald's manager could be an a$$ too.. Anyway good advice!
Bro when you said that manipulative people will change the subject to something wildly off topic to victimize themselves, omg i felt that, a few months ago I got into this big ass fight w/ my bf ab some bs & he really had the audacity to be like "well I had a bad childhood" My mouth dropped fucking open, i've known this man for ten years, the worst thing he ever went thru was his parents divorce, whereas both my parents died before i hit double digits, my first placement was a child fight club, i dealt w/ longterm csa for christ sake, & munchausens by proxy, you really wanna bring a "bad" childhood into this? You dont baby, I know you don't. Absolutely not, he will never ever forget how crazy i got that day, never in his life will he ever try to use a bad childhood as an excuse, not as long ad im around at least
OH MY GOODNESS.. reading ur first paragraph and already drop my jaw.. are we dealing with the same guy (ofc not, but) or are they going into the same-put the blame on my shitty childhood and chaotic parents-club? After breaking up, i broke down and so sad. But now i think about it, i realize i’v been gaslighted all those time
@@c.w.3226 we all say absolutely stupid things sometimes, & like I said, I’ve known this man since 6th grade, we’re 22 now- I’m not gonna break up w/ him over a single line lol. He knew how stupid he sounded as soon as he said it but I took the time to make sure haha
I always chalked my dislike of her as the fact all our funny bones & sense of humor is different: having said that: she has always creeped me out & she was not funny at all.....those eyes: those wide eyes........creepy
I had a horrrrrible boss - one that battered my self esteem constantly, sabotaged my work, made personal comments on me and played dirty games all the time. Everyday something new, something depressing. I did not want to get out of bed most days. I tried standing up to her, tried the HR route - I told HR that I was facing MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES because of this work environment and they told me I am not the first person to say this. After 2 years of wasting my time, I read something profound 'If you can't change a situation that makes you unhappy, simply turn away from it. Chasing it will only breed more unhappiness.'. I got myself a new job, eventually quit the industry and shifted careers. I actively looked for better places, more dynamic work cultures and leaders who actually wanted to do actual work. I am in a vibrantly better and happier situation today. I can't imagine ever going back. I don't even want to look back. Do it. This is A+ advice Shallon, I just subscribed back to this channel.
I learned the hard way about HR. I naively thought they were there to protect me if anything they made things worse. It was a wake up call and a huge learning experience. I know now that my employer couldn’t care less about me. A powerful thing to know because now my work life balance is so much better yes I try my best everyday at work but do I give my soul anymore .. no
THIS was one of Shallon's BEST VIDEOS EVER!!!! Everything she says about a toxic boss/company is SO true!!!! Do not give them your good energy. Just find another job.period. I have stories for days about working for a toxic company. Just quit!!!
So true about HR. I learned that the hard way. When I was 17 I was sexually harassed and groped by a 50-something man who was my boss. I went to HR and they said they would “talk to him”. He never got in trouble, and from then on, I was looked at as “problematic”.
shallon you spoke so much truth in this. I was a nurse at 21 years old and had so many issues with my boss. it was my first "real" job after things like McDonalds etc as a teenager. I fought and fought and cried and would have anxiety attacks before coming into work. I invested so much time in proving I was right, to this day, 5 years later, I still know I was right. at the end of the day it just wasn't worth it. as a nurse we cop enough bullshit from patients and their family's, I didn't need it from my superiors. as much as it hurts to admit, sometimes its just easier to leave. i really loved that company and other than her the people I worked with were great, but sometimes you gotta put yourself first and just say I deserve way better than this crap. lots of love from Australia
Shallon- you look SO GORGEOUS (as always though haha) 🤩 Your hair, makeup, outfit and accessories come together perfectly!! Thanks for another insightful video!!
Some people live for working and put work 1st and mental health/ personal life 2nd.. I just dont get them. My happiness and well being are my priority.
I absolutely agree with your point of view. Having left a toxic work environment last year I felt it was the best decision ever as I won my peace. Everyone around me thought I was too weak or was making a bad choice but in my mind I did not believe in staying in a place where I am disrespected and undervalued yet produced quality work. Looking back now they now understand my WHY,not that it needed validation. L😌 Love and respect from Botswana 🇧🇼
Hey, Shal!💗💋 Times are changing. I have actually seen the removal of bully, alcoholic, and sexual harrasser bosses. I have more than one bully boss. My tactics are not to confront but if they come for me, I call them on it. Occasionally, I've had to go HR. But it gets their bs on record. I also agree with you. We're about to go back to work. One boss is particularly toxic. Everyone knows it. No one likes her. But we're unionized so she's not leaving. But when she needs help on her island of evil, no one is there. At least not willingly
Agree about HR not being there for you the faster you learn this the better!! If there is an issue I just try to work around it and resolve it on my own!
Listen to everything she has to say about this topic. She's absolutely right in every way. Don't waste your time trying to "hold on" to something that does not bring you joy or value. The best revenge is to live well. It doesn't matter if the bully dies the next day or you think they belong in hell. They might be, but how does that affect you? Living the most fulfilling life is the best way to "get back to them".
What you said about HR is spot on!!! I'm in a toxic work environment and HR did nothing about it. It just made it worse. Everyday I am looking and applying to jobs. I can't wait to leave.
HR does not give AF. The more you go to them the more they see you as the problem / complainer & it can actually affect your job prospects when it comes to promotions.
It is so true that your work does not give a shit about you. I’m a high school teacher and they treat us awfully picking apart out teaching with mile long tick sheets. Being passive aggressive over an IT issue, how is that my fault. I had students that turned up to my class hurt and when I asked for help they acted like I was week and couldn’t do my job. All with loads of trainee teachers desperate for jobs so they can replace you in a minute.
When I saw Ellen blame all of this on misogyny I almost lost it, take some ownership for God´s sake. And as a woman in a wheelchair, if I ever do act like an asshole I hope somebody will tell me. 😉
This video speaks to me on so many levels: moved out of a toxic environment years ago ( oops.. Ex boss says I got fired, while I say I did not want to go back there when she asked me to). Years later I am doing a job I really love and I see my then colleagues completely brain washed, still complaining and totally satisfied with pennies..
Today I quit my toxic job and I’m starting a new fantastic job next week!
This one's definitely going into the "I told you so" playlist.
Yessss we need that playlist
YES
The fact that she predicted Bennifer
I work as a licensed clinical therapist in LA. I just quit from an extremely toxic work environment and nothing has ever felt so good and freeing as choosing not to put myself in a situation like that anymore. Trust me peeps, NOTHING is worth destroying your mental health over.
HR is neither human nor a resource.
@Stephanie Belyavskaya that's why companies are starting to outsource HR! LOL
👏🙌🙌
NEVER go to HR with your problem - they will turnaround and get you in the arse! Better to find another job, which I know is not easy!
“HR exists to save the company from lawsuits.” FACTS...I learned that the hard way when I left my last toxic job, they are definitely there as a lap dog for upper management. Going to them did nothing except frustrate me more because nothing really changed.
Also, if you go to HR, which you're supposed to do to file legitimate complaints, they make your life hell if you decide to stay.
Its true
Same thing happen to me.. After i went to HR to complain about being harassl, my manager was talking shit about me for not "being an adult" and ignore the people who were harassing me.. Thanks HR😘
I work in HR. Yes, it's true.
HR really don't give a shit, especially in a big company.
So Keep up with the Kardashian and Ellen show are done now....Well, that's an end of an era.
Hopefully the Housewives series is next.
Yes. Yes it is. Such a toxic one full of celebrity worship, fillers, changing beauty standards, Brazilian butt lifts.
I am here for it.
My boss was the type of women who would take credit for the work you did for her. She later turned around and lied about he to get me fired. Wasn’t worth fighting it..Thank you for this video. We do not talk enough about psycho bosses who need to feel powerful. People like Ellen eventually see their day.
Yes they do ! After all there’s only so many people in one given industry ;), eventually word always gets around!! ...
I recently quit my job to start serving because my boss was so horrible. He was so angry when I quit & told my coworkers that I wasn’t going to make the money I thought I was at my new job because “no one is going out to eat”. My last paycheck was double what he paid me, and that’s not even including cash tips. And on top of that, my new bosses are genuinely good people who treat me with respect. I couldn’t be happier with my decision to leave.
There are two kinds of bad bosses I've had to deal with:
1) The boss who is bad at their job but blames everyone else for their failures.
2) The boss who hides in their office all day and never actually sees what's happening in the rest of the workplace.
I own a Logistics company with 5 guys, we do not and will not ever tolerate bullying, we even pay a hefty price tag to have a full time coach on staff to make sure no one (including us owners) allows our company to become a toxic environment. We take that very seriously
The fact she pushed so hard the "be kind" was a clue she really wasn't. People who are truly kind, don't have to brag about being kind, they just are. She should be besties with Meghan Markle, same type of individuals, who present one face to the public are completely different behind closed doors.
I’m surprised how many people don’t know this. A lot of gullible people in America
Meghan Markle does the same. She started with be kind and now she is pushing be compassionate
I admit, I was gullible with Ellen. I'm shocked. I wasn't gullible with Meghan. But Ellen had me fooled. The old adage: tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are - should be used to identify these fake celebs. They do flock together.
@@MsAnicka69 that is exactly what Markle does to her critics. Now Ellen has accused her critics of "misogyny." 🙄
EXACTLY!🙌
I had a bully boss , but it was my dream job and I wanted the experience i had one day I broke down and cried and from that moment on I started being stone cold and “mean” right back to him, I never showed my emotions and that gave me leverage, and he backed off, I also showed unpredictability especially in manners of projects that were deadline crucial for him, I made sure to be the only one who could do it right and once I got him hooked with quick work he essentially NEEDED ME, and I never shared anything personal but I made sure to keep tabs on him which gives you power and which throws off a bully, and shows them you’re not afraid to get them back or do some potential harm. Sometimes you have to show your teeth and they’ll back off you.
I have a bully supervisor. I've completely stopped speaking to him except in the case of a work emergency and now he's a much more decent person.
Yes! Smart girl! 👏👏👏
🎯
True
My ex boss hired me to be an editor on news pieces for the UK media. She is from East Asia and not a native English speaker. I soon discovered she wouldn't take any editing suggestions, even if they were grammatically correct. She would gaslight me and try to make me think my English and writing style were problematic, even though I'm a native English speaker and an experienced editor. "But I looked it up in the Oxford English Dictionary" became a common lie she would resort to. I became accustomed to feeling I could never do anything right for this boss. After a year, I filed a grievance and she devoted every waking hour to making my life at work a living hell. I spent so much time and energy fighting it, trying to convince HR her actions were a violation of UK employment law. In the end, I had to face my fear of unemployment by quitting during the start of a global pandemic without another job at the end of it. After quitting, I published a book and found another job where I earned more money and was treated respectfully. If you are facing a situation like this, just leave--it's frightening at first but it's so much better on the other side.
I agree. And don't stay longer in a toxic place than a year because it changes you. You'll be wounded. The faster you leave the sooner the wounds will heal.
When I was 19 I worked for a small company as a cake decorator. One day, the cashier manager (a 50-some year old who regularly attempted to flirt w me) walked behind me and smacked my ass.
I tried to do “the right thing” by going to HR, and what did they do? They asked me if I “felt comfortable talking to him about it” because, essentially, they didn’t want to “get involved”.
HR often does nothing to protect you. Protect yourself 💗.
100% true ♥️ you definitely did the right thig
@@wurlycurlygirly you’re right, it very well may have been the right thing, but in retrospect (& with the experience I have now) I would’ve called him out on the spot and stood up for myself. 💗
I had something similar happen to me. A woman, my supervisor shoved me. I went to her boss, our manager, and I agreed to do the "right thing" and join them for a meeting. Bad bad bad decision. Then I went to HR, another bad decision. I went to the EEOC but the attorney discouraged me from filing because I wanted a new position in the organization. Basically he told me that the org will discriminate against me if I blow the whistle on my supervisor.🙄
It’s actually wild how you’re always right about celebrities, you call things out early and then it comes out in the media a few months or weeks later 😂
Are you secretly a psychologist or psychic shallon??
at this point i think she’s both😅🤣
She worked for a gossip mag so she has details on all the celeb issues even the ones that didn’t make the print.
I think Shallon definitely has strong water placements in her birth chart. You can tell by her eyes she’s an intuitive.
She reads stuff and believes it. Regular people give celebrities the benefit of doubt
Your story is inspiring. I had a psycho boss and she taught me so much about the correct way of defending myself - by gathering tangible evidence I could later present to HR. However, the ultimate conclusion was that I HAD to leave that job, no alternative would have worked but my victory was defined as a healthy severance package.
the boss I quit was very soft spoken, always a smile on her face but she would get me out in the middle of my class (I'm a teacher) to say something really mean or threaten me (with a smile, of course) and then leave to try to destabilize me, among many countless other things she's done, like forbid me to talk to other coworkers for no reason. I did exactly what you say in this video: kept quiet, pretended I was fine and then quit my job the day before summer vacation and she kept asking what was I gonna do next for a job, obsessively. she still has a hard time keeping employees to this day meanwhile I'm now a private teacher and my own goddamn boss.
Yassss Queen 👸!
@@wurlycurlygirly 🥰🤍
When the toxic boss asks you to come over to discuss the situation after you have quit - don't go. It's only for them to explain why you were wrong and how you don't understand how things work.
This. But I had no choice but to go to work because I’m a massage therapist, put in my 2 weeks and finished out my book. She made sure to be there and harass me saying she didn’t know why I was quitting. Super unprofessional.
This right here ...One of my biggest regrets. In india we have to serve a minimum of 2 month's notice. Those 2 month's are torture!
@@wheretheheckistani omgg 😳😳. I can hardly make it through the last two weeks of a toxic workplace.
I work in a non-corporate setting. I'm a live sound engineer and I work in concert production. My boss, who is the company owner, is a total jackass but falls under the "bully" category. There is no HR- it's a midsized production company. I finally figured out how to deal with my boss, though. I act bored by everything he says. Ever since I started doing that, he talks to me completely differently. It's how I'm getting by until I can get on with a bigger company.
Amen. This is how to treat most people who like to rile up people. I tend to look at people like that as of they are idiots.
@@agathachris9722 Indeed! And they usually are idiots. My boss is certainly no exception LOL
Ooooohhh...act bored...I like this strategy!!! I'm stealing it! LOL!
Gray rocking
"you could be right or you could be happy". I live by this quote. It could apply on many situations in life, like "arguing" with stubborn or stupid people, waiting in line at supermarket etc.
This is literally your colorrrrrrrrr!!!!!!
File this one in the “i told you so” folder.📂 So glad I found your channel! Love your wisdom & intelligence so much.❤️
How I survived toxic work bully past and present - when you are in survival mode, I tell yourself (not the bully, ever) ‘this isn’t my last stop in my career for me, this job however is the best they can ever do. I can and will leave.’ And quietly go about be awesome at being you. Quiet confidence
Yup of course I remember ppl trying to throw the Ellen thing back at you. Sucks being right all the time, damn!!! xo
Hi Shallon. I'm not sure you if you will read this. I just left a toxic job 3 weeks ago. I agree with several of your points. I have an HR background and what said about motives in a company is unfortunately true. The previous company I work for my boss was a textbook psychopath. The rules and standards would change all the time. We were pretty sure he bugged the phones. He would call me a dumb kid if I didn't agree with him. (I'm 24). One time it was so toxic I was told I was going to be wrote up and I was given a bonus check in the same day. I'm not kidding.I can't prove it for sure but I think he was stealing from the company. That was my straw and I litterally throw up on my lunch break over it. I worked very hard for 2 months to get another job. I had 8 interviews in 8 weeks. I was a tyical grey man its important to give no information to destory or manipulative you. I now have a new job with a fortune 500 company and making double the amount of money. I want to thank you Shallon for helping me see I was better than how I was being treated.
I LOVE this hair color, it's amazing! It looks fantastic on you
Thank you for this video and all your videos, currently dealing with a nightmare boss. So glad I watched this before going in tomorrow.
You are so right. HR is never on your side. In my experience, they are there to protect sexual predators as well. I lost my career ❤️
I had a crazy toxic boss last year. I'll never forget the way she looked me in the eye once... cunning and cold... hope I never see her again.
I love how you know so many things we don't about the industry
Shallon you need to do more Harry & Meghan psycho analyzing. Harry just said in a podcast something snarky & whiny about his Royal genetics and how his dad treated him how he was treated idk all’s I heard was way way wahhhhh 😩
PLEASE do a fallacy in arguments video!! It’ll obviously bounce right off some foreheads, but it may penetrate some.
Love this comment
OMG Shallon, You are so right. Everyone has been under a bully boss in one job or other. And HR does not care. I listened to a girl on RUclips that works in HR. She said that they don't care about your problems. It's hard to give your heart and soul to a job and then them fire you. The fear of leaving and not having another job or money to survive is very powerful. These bullys take a piece of you every time until you feel like you have nothing else to give.
The natural redheads of the world are flattered by your hurr.
😂😂 As a dirty blonde, a natural redhead is my greatest natural enemy
Shallon you look amazing with this golden sandy colored hair!! It's so warm and summery and fresh! You are glowing!
I have always been able to find the silver lining even in a crappy job, but recently I had a similar experience with a boss who was AWFUL, same thing, I would cry the entire drive home. I would cry on my drive in to work (but I found out just how excellent my waterproof mascara was), i would walk around the suburb my job was in and cry during lunch or shut myself in the bathroom and cry. It was awful. I had left a job I loved to go there. I quit for the first time EVER with no plan. I had another job within 5 days with a company that I adore working with a team who love me and who I love. So worth jumping ship
Yes! The day I turned in my resignation letter was one of the best days in my life! I celebrated it with so much joy! I will never forget that day 😊
What mascara? And how did you find another job so quicky, did you use one of those websites?
The worst ones to work for are the ones that get visibly enraged when you are pleasant to them. Worked for one before. She was so toxic I had to quit otherwise I would have flunked out of college. And the HR manager was her bestie so it was pretty much a disaster. I've since moved on. Tip: when someone shows you how crazy they are, leave IMMEDIATELY. Don't wait it out. It's not worth it. They will ruin your life if you let them. Always put yourself first.
Her lack of acknowledgement for her behaviour is so frustrating for us and the people that suffered working with her. This shows her lack of self awareness and empathy. Karma finally cancelled her. We are not going to miss her at all.
One of my favorite tweets after the Meghan & Harry Oprah Special was "Okay, so the HR Department sucks everywhere." lol
"HR doesn't give a shit about you" no truer words were ever spoken.
My coworker is a bully, she constantly would yell at me and turn around the words in my mouth and be mean to me. So one time I told her that I feel like she doesn’t like me and that I don’t want her to yell at me cause it’s not professional. She turned around and said “she is from New York and very loud” and “she is the most loving person and never means it when she yells” so she basically has lighted me into thinking I was crazy for thinking like the yelling was disrespectful. That is the worst kind of coworker, even when you try to be professional and try to work it out they just gas light you and gossip behind your back
My toxic boss was trying to get me fired because she knew I didn’t like her even though she was literally bullying me everyday and she made me cry (which probably made her happy) but thankfully it led to me leaving the job only 2 months in. A few months later a found a job that paid me WAY more & I have the most amazing bosses. Quit your job if it’s taking a toll on you because you’ll find something a million times better.
It has always bothered me how she digs into her celebrity “friends” personal life. Would ask super awkward intimate questions in front of cameras, they’d clearly be sooo uncomfortable but that somehow marketed as FuNnY 🙄 not to mention scaring them etc.
I just remembered that years ago she asked Robert Downey Jr about his smoking habit, and he clearly didn’t like that question. So he threw it right back at her because she smokes too! She wasn’t very happy either. It was amazing lol
Reminds me of a 2018 clip I saw with Carrie Underwood. She was pregnant with her second chil after 3 miscarriages
And Ellen kept pushing her to reveal the baby's gender after she very clearly said she didn't want to and poor Carrie look just so uncomfortable
Yes! Remember when Ellen pressured Mariah Carey to drink alcohol to prove to her audience that she wasn't pregnant???!!! Now that's intentional cruelty!
I worked in a hostile work environment before…I was in sales and our boss had mood swings by the minute, was physically aggressive and would get in your face and then would punish/reward with accounts and your income based on her mood and how she felt about you in the moment (which wasn’t based on anything you did - just her mood in general). I’ve never had a worse time at work than that period of time…I was having panic attacks at my desk.
The problem is that she reported up well. She had senior management convinced that we all loved her. We all knew that if we went over her head to senior management, they would address it with her and in turn, she would take that out on us. The only reason it got addressed is because one of our senior sales staff resigned and told senior management what was going on in her exit interview.
It truly was like an abusive relationship. I’ve never felt so off balance and miserable in my job than during that time.
Chef Gordon Ramsey came to mind...hmmmm
Shallon was right, AGAIN!! I remember when people were saying you were wrong, well GUESS WHAT! lol
Yes!! Love a cheeky Shallon upload!
The "I told you so" playlist is getting bigger and I just can't help but think of that scene on Flavor of Love where they get champagne and one of the girls puts a strawberry in her glass. And that one Oprah gif. Y'all know the one. Shallon is always right, and that's that on that.
Lesson: as soon as you know you'r in a toxic environment. Use your energy to get out of it and find a place where you are valued and fulfilled. In short, get out.
You Make VALID points.. thank you for caring about your viewers and giving us good advice Shallon!!
Shallon in on fire... hitting the nail on the head 👏🏻🙌🏻
I love your sarcasm while reading out her statement and spitting out facts 😂
I had no idea Mulaney was getting divorced. Tbh I can’t stand Olivia Munn, she’s always given me the try hard “not like other girls” vibe, and judging by how the world apparently found out about her and John Mulaney dating, she did it on purpose for attention since she fell off the face of the earth the last few years.
Yup she always gave me cool girl "not like other girls" vibe.
@@rominavique8023 I’m glad I’m not the only one! She always rubbed me the wrong way lol
They are not dating, Olivia is kinda creepy and said she was obsessed with Mulaney but there are literally no pictures of them together. Is completely created by the media. Mulaney is sad AF.
the issue with harassment, sexual or moral, like you said is very difficult to prove. They are smart and they don’t write this sh*t down in e mails. Unless you record every second of you work day on a hidden cam, hoping they will say something incriminating. Unfortunately the only thing to do is quit, hoping that the next job will be less bad. I had an awful boss when I was an attorney. I still have nightmares. I quit my job. Now i am a dog walker. I love my job. My boss is cool. Yes i earn way less money and my parents are disappointed but at least I’m happy now and don’t think about ending my life anymore.
Tell it Sis! Ellen was funny when she pretended to be a meek standup in the 80's and was funny. Hollywood gave her an ounce of power and she blew it. She then pretended to reduce her self importance as a host for sale. Then, G-d forbid and R.I.P., Matthew Shepard happened and she appointed herself our (gay) godmother. Her ounce of power came calling again and she two-fisted it..... and eventually her staff and herself
Great video! It is okay to vent sometimes~ but constantly playing a victim doesn't work~ we all have options and can change our situation if we want to. It doesnt do anybody good if you get your mind stuck in a place.
I was so happy when she said goodbye finally KARMA got what she deserved should have happened earlier the insane part was how she was able to hide it for years I guarantee that HR was protecting her this whole time and finally when they were about to sink they put her in the target line.
Omg yes, please do the rhetorical fallacies. Also I thought earth tones were your thing with this hair color, but girl you're rocking that jewel tone too!
Ellen's toxicity and bullying ways shouldn't surprise anyone. It makes perfect sense that she would go this route because she was bullied way back when. Hurt people hurt people.
Many times that’s the case. Many times as a fallacy that these people are just so emotionally wounded. I believe Ellen is a psychopath, and you really can’t win them. You can piss them off and annoy them, but that’s about it. Some bullies have low self-esteem, but the vast majority are malignant narcissist who truly believe the world revolves around them and everyone should bend to their will
@@shallonlester Well said!
Brilliant video....I've also seen how HR are only there for the management...whistle blowers get shot I'm afraid.
I eventually decided to have counselling to cope with my work situation. It was the best thing I ever did - but I keep my head down until my side hustle takes off. Pool your energy into something you love doing, its the only way to win.
I love how passionate you are! Thank you for being you!
I understand what you’re saying regarding employers not caring to a point however it really depends on the organisation and it’s size, nature of the culture etc. I work for a medium sized organisation and a woman is terminally ill and her desk was unoccupied for months while she’s been off as the ceo was and is quite upset by this and very much respectful of her, this is only one example of this but there have been many others.
There are some workplaces that are genuinely caring of their employees.
Finally amazing people like you rising and people like Ellen Falling. All is right I’m the world. Now we gotta take down the fashion in 2021🤪
Bringing back low rise flare jeans is the low hill I will DIE ON FOREVER
I don't usually comment, but you said Truth. You gave the best advice I have heard, if you work for a bully, the best use of your time is redirect your energy. Most of these narcissistic types, or bullies, or divas have had that behavior for a long time and it isn't likely their behavior is going to change or change over night, they honestly need therapy. So it is best to let stuff go over head and bide your time until you can find a job that truly appreciates what you bring to the table. I will say, it seems like the higher the salary and profile the job is the more likely you will run into those type of people. But a McDonald's manager could be an a$$ too.. Anyway good advice!
Bro when you said that manipulative people will change the subject to something wildly off topic to victimize themselves, omg i felt that, a few months ago I got into this big ass fight w/ my bf ab some bs & he really had the audacity to be like "well I had a bad childhood"
My mouth dropped fucking open, i've known this man for ten years, the worst thing he ever went thru was his parents divorce, whereas both my parents died before i hit double digits, my first placement was a child fight club, i dealt w/ longterm csa for christ sake, & munchausens by proxy, you really wanna bring a "bad" childhood into this? You dont baby, I know you don't.
Absolutely not, he will never ever forget how crazy i got that day, never in his life will he ever try to use a bad childhood as an excuse, not as long ad im around at least
OH MY GOODNESS.. reading ur first paragraph and already drop my jaw.. are we dealing with the same guy (ofc not, but) or are they going into the same-put the blame on my shitty childhood and chaotic parents-club?
After breaking up, i broke down and so sad. But now i think about it, i realize i’v been gaslighted all those time
I hope you mean EXbf. You deserve better!
Wow…. It’s baffling the extent men will go to gaslight someone
@@c.w.3226 we all say absolutely stupid things sometimes, & like I said, I’ve known this man since 6th grade, we’re 22 now- I’m not gonna break up w/ him over a single line lol. He knew how stupid he sounded as soon as he said it but I took the time to make sure haha
I always chalked my dislike of her as the fact all our funny bones & sense of humor is different: having said that: she has always creeped me out & she was not funny at all.....those eyes: those wide eyes........creepy
😂😂😂
Yay!! Shallon uploads and makes my night💜
i've had so many psycho bosses, in the end i just leave. its not worth my sanity.
I had a horrrrrible boss - one that battered my self esteem constantly, sabotaged my work, made personal comments on me and played dirty games all the time. Everyday something new, something depressing. I did not want to get out of bed most days. I tried standing up to her, tried the HR route - I told HR that I was facing MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES because of this work environment and they told me I am not the first person to say this. After 2 years of wasting my time, I read something profound 'If you can't change a situation that makes you unhappy, simply turn away from it. Chasing it will only breed more unhappiness.'. I got myself a new job, eventually quit the industry and shifted careers. I actively looked for better places, more dynamic work cultures and leaders who actually wanted to do actual work. I am in a vibrantly better and happier situation today. I can't imagine ever going back. I don't even want to look back. Do it. This is A+ advice Shallon, I just subscribed back to this channel.
I learned the hard way about HR. I naively thought they were there to protect me if anything they made things worse. It was a wake up call and a huge learning experience. I know now that my employer couldn’t care less about me. A powerful thing to know because now my work life balance is so much better yes I try my best everyday at work but do I give my soul anymore .. no
THIS was one of Shallon's BEST VIDEOS EVER!!!! Everything she says about a toxic boss/company is SO true!!!! Do not give them your good energy. Just find another job.period. I have stories for days about working for a toxic company. Just quit!!!
GOOD RIDDANCE AND BE KIND
So true about HR. I learned that the hard way. When I was 17 I was sexually harassed and groped by a 50-something man who was my boss. I went to HR and they said they would “talk to him”. He never got in trouble, and from then on, I was looked at as “problematic”.
Yes! I have never been THAT early to the videos! Love your channel.
shallon you spoke so much truth in this. I was a nurse at 21 years old and had so many issues with my boss. it was my first "real" job after things like McDonalds etc as a teenager. I fought and fought and cried and would have anxiety attacks before coming into work. I invested so much time in proving I was right, to this day, 5 years later, I still know I was right. at the end of the day it just wasn't worth it. as a nurse we cop enough bullshit from patients and their family's, I didn't need it from my superiors. as much as it hurts to admit, sometimes its just easier to leave. i really loved that company and other than her the people I worked with were great, but sometimes you gotta put yourself first and just say I deserve way better than this crap. lots of love from Australia
21:49 onwards was pure gold omg
I showed this video to my husband who is experiencing this at work! MAHALO for this MUCH needed help - he really appreciated your awesome advice ❤️
Great advice. Was in a similar situation with my previous workplace and its sooo not worth staying.
Shallon- you look SO GORGEOUS (as always though haha) 🤩 Your hair, makeup, outfit and accessories come together perfectly!! Thanks for another insightful video!!
You just gave genuine sound advice.
Absolutely love how many different looks you have. Seeing your new content is the highlight of my morning Shal
This is actually one of Shallon's best videos.
Love you Shallon!! You're my absolute favorite RUclipsr!! 💓
Some people live for working and put work 1st and mental health/ personal life 2nd.. I just dont get them. My happiness and well being are my priority.
I absolutely agree with your point of view. Having left a toxic work environment last year I felt it was the best decision ever as I won my peace. Everyone around me thought I was too weak or was making a bad choice but in my mind I did not believe in staying in a place where I am disrespected and undervalued yet produced quality work. Looking back now they now understand my WHY,not that it needed validation. L😌 Love and respect from Botswana 🇧🇼
Hey, Shal!💗💋 Times are changing. I have actually seen the removal of bully, alcoholic, and sexual harrasser bosses. I have more than one bully boss. My tactics are not to confront but if they come for me, I call them on it. Occasionally, I've had to go HR. But it gets their bs on record. I also agree with you. We're about to go back to work. One boss is particularly toxic. Everyone knows it. No one likes her. But we're unionized so she's not leaving. But when she needs help on her island of evil, no one is there. At least not willingly
I remember the time where she forced Mariah Carey to drink champagne to prove that she isn’t pregnant with the twins, and I was so disgusted
I loved this video! It would be great id you make more videos about bosses, healthy and toxic work environment ...
Honestly , Shallon makes me feel valued the most.
Agree about HR not being there for you the faster you learn this the better!! If there is an issue I just try to work around it and resolve it on my own!
Listen to everything she has to say about this topic. She's absolutely right in every way. Don't waste your time trying to "hold on" to something that does not bring you joy or value. The best revenge is to live well. It doesn't matter if the bully dies the next day or you think they belong in hell. They might be, but how does that affect you? Living the most fulfilling life is the best way to "get back to them".
What you said about HR is spot on!!! I'm in a toxic work environment and HR did nothing about it. It just made it worse. Everyday I am looking and applying to jobs. I can't wait to leave.
HR does not give AF. The more you go to them the more they see you as the problem / complainer & it can actually affect your job prospects when it comes to promotions.
Can't wait for the video on argumentative fallacies 😄
You are absolutely right Shallon. I was assaulted by an old man at a job and all HR offered me was a pathetic "sorry".
This reminds me of the movie "The Devil Wears Prada"
It is so true that your work does not give a shit about you. I’m a high school teacher and they treat us awfully picking apart out teaching with mile long tick sheets. Being passive aggressive over an IT issue, how is that my fault. I had students that turned up to my class hurt and when I asked for help they acted like I was week and couldn’t do my job. All with loads of trainee teachers desperate for jobs so they can replace you in a minute.
Thanks for this video!💗✨ I love how you tell is how it is 🙌🏾
When I saw Ellen blame all of this on misogyny I almost lost it, take some ownership for God´s sake. And as a woman in a wheelchair, if I ever do act like an asshole I hope somebody will tell me. 😉
Fantastic commentary , Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is LEAVE.
This video speaks to me on so many levels: moved out of a toxic environment years ago ( oops.. Ex boss says I got fired, while I say I did not want to go back there when she asked me to). Years later I am doing a job I really love and I see my then colleagues completely brain washed, still complaining and totally satisfied with pennies..