How To Deal With A Lying Spouse | Paul Friedman
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- Опубликовано: 2 июн 2024
- I'm not going to soften this. How to deal with a lying spouse? This is not easy because when you're talking about a lying spouse it could range from petty lies to them stealing all the money and going on a trip around the world with a lover on the side. But, I will give you a lot to think about.
I can help you if your partner is lying to you.I am not big on forgiving a lying spouse but only because that is not our job. I am big on loving your spouse, regardless, while being practical if the circumstances warrant it.
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Chief if someone sleeps around there is no way that person can build a home, you are simply lying, its not all about trusting and apeasing someone who lies. why stay in a relationship that you cant keep with, if you cant talk, it means this is not yours that is suicide.
This is so true , the manipulation of liars, they imeadiatly become very defensive , and always try to convince you that you are insane , even with proof on hands , they deny it , till the end 💔
So, the anger that is a "natural" response must be the thing we fight, not the lies. Otherwise we become self-made victims of our own mind.
@@TheMarriageFoundation if is true you don't have to remember " mark Twain" , liars have nonsense stories that do not match and they tend to say , they " can't" remember.
It's gaslighting it's mental abuse.
It's narcissistic. Run for the hills. Don't look back. It's evil 😈
So true you said even i show my partner proofs and she lie all the time as if I am wrong or even the proofs shows that it's true 1000000% still she lies to defend herself
It's hurtful
My husband is a near perfect husband so kind and attentive but his lies from small to large have really destroyed me. I like this video. I can't change him or get him to realize his lies affect people but I can just love him and not let it affect my marriage and mental health as much as I have been.
Could you share more details?
Hi how do you deal with him
When he starts to lie, I interrupt him and change the subject in a nice way without it being obvious. It stops him in his tracks and I think we both feel relieved, me because I don't have to resent him after hearing the lying and him for not having to keep remember the lie or feel guilty about telling it, if he even is aware.
@@writeousrhema sorry, i just saw this today. But the lies can range from what he ate or didn't eat for lunch to making up some crazy story at work to make himself seem important. I think he lies to avoid guilt, shame, or embarrassment and perhaps some lies are to gain sympathy. Which is crazy becauase I am the least judgemental person and I've told him that plenty of times that if you make a mistake we can learn from it and I will get over it rather quickly but if you make a mistake and lie about it well, it's double whammy and now I don't trust or feel safe and secure with you. So I try to take what he says with a grain of salt. Sometimes, its hard to believe him when he says he loves me so I remind myself to look at his other actions like how attentive, kind, and thoughtful he is.
@@debcal4931 does it make you regret marrying him? Or does it make you feel sorry for him that he feels insecure about the reality of things?
I’m really struggling to understand how all this works. I read the Lessons for a Happy Marriage and watched these videos but don’t see how one person can make a difference in a relationship.
What I get out of all this is be loving and nice no matter what. Don’t engage in anything negative and don’t talk about anything that’s bothering you. Basically suck it up, which is what I feel I’ve been doing for 36 years. I’ve actually implemented a lot of this in my marriage just to try and maintain some sanity. But it hasn’t worked for me or our marriage. It’s like putting a bandaid on a gushing wound that never heals. We barely exist together.
I am glad you brought this up because too many people get only part of the idea of what marriage is supposed to be but its because we are so saturated with worldly ideas about love that we end up missing the point...it is NOT about sucking anything up, at all. It is about becoming your true self, you the soul, who is all love and light, not having to suck up, but to lift yourself up to that plane of love...called by One, "Holy indifference". Keeping the mind locked into alignment with your true self, beyond expectations. This is the focus of the courses whereas the books are about what it "looks" like and so you need to go deeper.
I really needed to hear this. This video was straight to the point and has helped me. I wish your videos were a bit longer. Like for example, maybe going in depth more about how to lift yourself up and seem happy despite not feeling good.
The courses and books are needed to become adept at these. Its just too much information to be offered free on a youtube format
@@TheMarriageFoundation I understand. Which one of your books would you recommend for this particular video?
Thanks for saying that: if your partner is a pedophile, you have to leave: cause that's true.
Hey thank you so much for this. I don't think I've heard a response like this to something like the lying issue. It is a very logical response that you had.
Yeah my husband lies.He think he does a good but not I catch him always. He is a wonderful provider. I think I will live with it because he becomes defensive even when there is evidence. I take it he has a serious problem. You have spoken the truth I been told not to mind what he does even though it kills me I will be satisfied with what I have and leave everything to God.
You can improve your marriage so he is not interested in any one but you, as you give it to GOD.
Thank you. I have really learned alot from you.Thank you
Same here. So hard
@@TheMarriageFoundationdo you have a book or class on how to do that. I need assistance.
What if your husband lies no matter what. He will never admit to anything when you know the truth.
Marriage is a matter of love, and to fully appreciate the one we love without judgement.. although it is easy to shoot back at me "you don't understand" it will not heal the gaps in your connection that will only come by overlooking his flaws and cultivating your love for and with him..
How is anyone supposed to love someone they don't trust and makes them feel like fool with all the lies???@@TheMarriageFoundation
Love transcends all the flaws and errors. We know upfront that the one we marry are, like ourselves, flawed. So, when you make love your polestar you will see their heart, not their flaws.
My wife is lying to everyone about me: fellow parishioners, her friends, pediatrician, etc. For example, recently she was abusive for two whole days (insulting me, rubbing my nose in childhood trauma, false accusations, assuming false motives, and name calling), then when I bark back a couple of insults after two days, she posts social media and such that I just suddenly said such things - leaving out her abusiveness. What can a man do to clear his name?
A man needs to concern himself with his own behaviors and focus on that. Nobody in the world is exempt from critics and although its a shame your wife is not loyal to you in this way you can only try harder to be more loyal to her.
Your ideas are absolutely prectical.👍
Thank you for noticing. 🙏 They are also loving.
Thank you so much sir. Your first 5mins solved all my problems.
I have been commenting on your videos A LOT lately, trying to master this stuff, but not at perfection yet. I WISH that I had watched this video FIRST. Maybe I could have just let everything go instead of seeking clarity and truth from my husband.
"Just letting everything go" is easier said than done which is why you need the SEW plus a thorough understanding of how and why we are under the control of deep seated habits.
No clouser from a narcissistic person keep it moving. 💯. There evil. It's gaslighting end of story that's all folks.
How do I get past the feeling of betrayal and disrespect? My husband has an addiction issue and he tried to stay sober but then lies when he uses or lies when he gambles on his game...and I always find out and it hurts to be lied to because I've done all I can to be open and understanding.
The main point is in your vow, to love cherish.....in sickness and in health....these are commitments to love uncoonditionally, and that means we set aside our ego, which wants to be respected etc and strive to become his loving wife, not considering how it affect "me" that is marriage and that "giving" when done with the right spirit, not a some kind of martyr, brings joy
I really appreciated this video. Good advice rather than simply telling someone to up and leave. You say that you’re big on loving not forgiving, but my question is: how can you love without forgiving? Does not one come with the other? Can you explain further?
Forgiving means you were offended. When you love you are living on a plane of no expectations and don't need to forgive. Besides. who among us have not sinned? I like to think only God needs to forgive us and He does so even before we have sinned.
@@TheMarriageFoundation I’m a little stuck on…I feel like forgiveness is sort of wrapped into love inherently. But I really love your explanation to my question and feel that love keeps a record of no wrong so I get moving past the “offense” and simply operating in love as you suggest. However we ARE commanded to forgive so that we can be forgiven by God.
Matthew 6:14-15 is a VERY sobering verse for all of us to obey @@nexus3403
Thank you
You really helped me at the 2:00 - 2:14
🙏🏽
I'm glad to hear that. 🙏 Keeping things in perspective is a much healthier way to stay happy.
Thank u
love from India
True
To not acknowledge the lying does this eventually disappear in the person?
Our actions alone are under our control, we are not here to correct our spouse only love them. When your love is perfect perhaps then is the time to impose your expectations, not until, But it will bring much more peace into your lives.
@@nyecore ❤
My wife drug my name in the mud and made the police friends and neighbors believe I'm an abuser. It's because I wanted a separation and she threatened suicide if I did go through with a divorce. We have a 2 year old and I'm at a lost for what to do
You need to take the course for men to get it all back on track themarriagefoundation.org/
How to deal with a female that hates when u ask them simple questions that get them immediately mad?
I will pass that on and maybe we will do a video on it.