Addiction, Lies, and Manipulation
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- Опубликовано: 23 сен 2019
- Addiction is all about LIES and MANIPULATION, and these are 3 main reasons why you keep believing the lies! If you're tired of being manipulated, you've got to open your eyes. Watch this video, and I'll show you how.
❤️️📣Learn How To Get Your Addicted Loved One FROM DENIAL INTO RECOVERY, using our INVISIBLE INTERVENTION method:
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📚Recommended Books List:
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💬If you'd like to help contribute a translation on this video: Click the link below:
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About Me/Us
My name is Amber Hollingsworth, and I worked in a private psychiatric hospital for 10 years. This facility provided acute care (short term) for serious mental health and Substance Use Disorders. I learned a LOT from my experience working in a psychiatric hospital. I got to see and treat almost every type of mental health and addiction issue you can think of, but it felt like a revolving door. I'd see the same people come in over and over and their families were absolutely desperate for help.
Unfortunately, the system isn't set up to help families in general. I did pretty much every job in that hospital that a counselor could do! I worked in detox. I developed and ran an adolescent substance abuse program. I worked sometimes worked on the unit with severe mental health patients such as Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personal Disorder, and many more.
In addition to working as a counselor in the inpatient facility and the intensive outpatient programs, I also served as Patient Advocate and Service Excellence Coordinator. The Patient Advocate is the person that gets called in when a patient or family member has a complaint. The Service Excellence Coordinator was the person who trained all new staff on providing excellent clinical and customer services.
These experiences gave me a unique perspective on the flaws of our mental health and substance abuse systems and also what needed to be done to correct them.
I don't want to make the facility out to be an inadequate facility. In fact, it was one of the better emergency mental health facilities. It just wasn't useful for creating long term recovery. You see, the system just isn't set up in a way that's conducive to creating sustainable long term change for individuals or families.
All this led to me deciding to leave the hospital and start my own addiction treatment center, specializing in addicted family systems. Over the years, I had developed lots of good relationships with other clinicians, and I knew who was the best! I put together a superstar team, and we now run out own outpatient addiction treatment practice called Hope For Families Recovery Center.
We've worked very hard not to tie ourselves to the "big system." We don't work for the insurance companies. We don't work for a hospital system, We don't answer to anyone except our clients, their families, and the licensing boards that provide us with our professional license. We have all Licensed Professional Counselors (LPC)-(which is mental health counselors) and also Licensed Addiction Counselors (LAC).
We don't provide inpatient treatment, but we do partner with a phenomenal sober living facility called Greenville Transitions. They offer top-notch sober living care for young men in the early stages of recovery. www.greenvilletransitions.com
Our RUclips channel is our way of trying to help as many people as possible find the answers they need to beat addiction. We spend a ton of time and money, creating these resources and support that you find them valuable and will share them with anyone else you know who may need them. The educational library of addiction resources on our RUclips channel is completely free of charge and are readily available to any person or family who needs them. So please consider subscribing if you haven't already.
You can help us in our mission to get the right information to everyone who needs it by sharing these family recovery resources.
We know that not everyone can access our treatment services, but we do offer consultations and coaching sessions to individuals and families all over the country.
☝️If you're like to learn more about the Invisible Intervention visit: 🕵️♀️www.invisibleintervention.com/invisible-intervention-online-course-sign-up/
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👍🏽 I actively ignored my gut and a 1,000 red flags in my last relationship. So stupid. 🤦🏽♀️
We've all been there!
No no. Did you have kids. Are yu kindhearted. Not stupid. Welcome to the Tribe❤❤❤
Your not stupid. It's natural to want to believe. Now you know. Don't negate yourself.
i feel for you I did that for 16 yrs…
Your video's make me feel im not alone. This is soo hard dealing with a addict and a alcoholic at the same time. I feel like my family is falling apart. I dont have the funds right now to do anything..😥
Hi Stacy, thank you so much for the kind feedback. That's the whole reason why we do this video, so it makes my heart very happy to know they're helping people. If you'd like to email me and tell me a little about your situation, I might can at least point you in the direction of some resources. amber@hffrc.com
Same for me, first the addict husband and then two children who followed in his footsteps.?
Thank you. I’ve been the addict, but now I’m the family member. I’ve been split, made the bad guy, emotionally abused and purposely separated from my mom and almost my adult children. I finally feel like I am not crazy anymore.
I found through 2 relationships with 2 addicts, they both had very covert behaviour, if they don’t say much, they aren’t lying but if you ask them they twist the conversation to the point you forget what you began talking about in the 1st place.
No 3. Precisely, we are afraid of the outcome if we set a boundary because we know deep down it’s true and everything would come crashing down. Also I didn’t know the signs of addiction so I didn’t know what to look for at that time and yes, everything I was thinking it was, it was completely the opposite in hindsight.
You're so sweet, Amber, it makes me cry
I started dating someone a couple months ago and he had a Breathalyzer in his car. Now he told me for 5 years(?) because then it would be erased from his record. well he several times lately has cancelled plans with me saying the Breathalyzer shut him out or his daughter drove the car and shut off..(lol)..I have caught on to it now and see the Lies, controlling pissy attitudes and see its a much bigger problem. I had to end dating him.The Manipulation and gaslighting got old.thank you for your videos..
I stopped using marijuanna. It was (is) a real addiction. Treatment was IOP for a year. Why am I so interested in these topics? I don’t want to visit with loved ones much about these topics because I feel the addiction selfishness stuff is still in my being. Staying clean so far. I’m 62 with a big family. Dealt (dealing) with tons of shame. Recognized isolation creeping in. Danger Warning. Anywho, thank you. They played you in session.
Thank you. I'm currently dealing with an addict and I just can't grip the concept of it all. He's been on and off since his 20s. He's now in his 40s. I want to learn as much as I can to support him because I can't do the work for. I'm at the verge of giving up and I don't want to because I love him very much. I am so glad I found you. Thank you
Hi Millie, I'm so glad you found us too! You should be able to find tons of resources about how to support (and protect yourself from) a loved one struggling with addiction. That's exactly what this channel is all about!
I can relate to your story. My boyfriend of a year started using when he was just 11 years old which blows my mind. He's 33 now. He's been trying to get clean and does good for a while but just recently told me he lost his drive and has been using the last week or so which I had no idea. I know he just hit a rough patch and will bounce back but it can be exhausting. You don't want to give up on them when you've seen them do good and love them so much but the roller coaster of emotions is hard to bare at times. Most times really.
Intuition. I was positive that my husband was not telling me the truth. I've since discovered my intuition was correct. Agreed.
Although, I'm blessed to NOT have to face any of these challenges directly, I recently ended a three year relationship due to the fact that he was enabling his 42 year old daughter with her drug addition (and has done so for many many years). In this situation, the problem I see is that he will not admit that there is a problem and therefore, continues to support her bad decisions and not holding her responsible. He is a functioning alcoholic himself and she claims she will seek help when he stops drinking. What a mess! The tipping point for me was when he was okay with purchasing her marijuana and she was smoking it with her teenage kids. Love hearing all of your advise and suggestions!
Who can’t spot the lies? I’m always on the case! 🤓👀. That’s called “Waiting for the other shoe to drop”. At least for me anyway. I always expect a lie. I guess I can thank my dad. Hello, childhood trauma 😏
Your video truly spoke to me and my husband’s lies and our lives. It.
I’m so glad I found these videos
Current lie today ...told his mum he is working nights to cover his hangover up and explain why he was late to contact with his children, but had previously told me he working days 🤣arhhh so frustrating !
That's so classic. They tell everyone something different. that's why they try to keep everyone apart. They don't want their lies to com out. Thanks for the positive feedback Viktorious99
👍👍👍 love this video!! I know the signs I been there but your right it is hard to pick up on some of these drugs.
Thanks Kelly!
5:30 I have the SAME kind of intuition and it manifests for me as pressures on the left side - I think you take it for granted how rare that 'danger' or 'nogo' sense is - MOST people are not attuned to it at all. No wonder I like this channel. :)
I love your videos Amber. I would love to be able to talk to you about my situation because you hit the nail on the head every time
THANK you for the pain pills reference. Needed this for a loved one.
Glad it was helpful!
I agree with this 100% . wow , such good information.
Thanks Christine, so glad you liked it!
Ok third video and so it’s not just my mom and sister. They are both drug addicts but my dad is also a serious alcoholic. I just want to scream. I don’t get addiction. I can’t imagine hurting the ones I love the most for a drug.
Addiction is cunning, baffling, and powerful!
Same. Inconceivable!
Yes!
I Love your videos so far... I'm looking for one on how to support and Not enable a recovering addict...
Hey Thanks Kay BB8, I actually have several. You may have seen some of these, but this whole playlist is about boundaries. There are a few on enabling specifically. ruclips.net/p/PLaaJWwIpP_zaSO2T0UAQ7X5elGVsphwIV
I just found out my fiance has relapsed. This is so heartbreaking. But she doesn't know that I know. And she keeps denying it.
Treatment options can be so hard to arrange. Especially when it's not covered and finances are stretched. It goes for mental health too. I needed inpatient treatment for depression badly but was given a list of numbers, none of the services were covered and costs were out of my budget. I gave up some groceries and paid for about 3 sessions then had no more money to pay for treatment.
You're absolutely right. Our mental health and treatment systems are a mess and it can be very difficult to access what you need. There are probably more FREE residential services for addiction than mental health, but even those programs aren't the best clinical fit for people.
@@PutTheShovelDown You are right. I've seen so many come back to certain residential programs, especially short term ones. I'm not convinced that these programs equip addicts or family enough. Thank you.
So true. Mental health care is so lacking in our country. It seems as if the people who have the money to pay for the care have the best access. It’s heartbreaking.
I get what your putting down
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I go with my gut feeling
As a mom... I always want to believe my son...plus I live 800 miles away
It's so hard to see the truth sometimes. Especially when it's our kids.
Just remember they all lie.
I knew he was an alcoholic (and being myself in denial about ut and thinking he will get better when the baby is born, that he also wanted btw) but i really really thought he was a very honest person until I found out that hes also a coke adict and he lied about it for 3 years... The baby was 6 months old, when i confronted him first he confessed and said he will get sober, but we should just not talk about it anymore... Long story short i sais i need time, he left and started to go through all stages of denial until he just makes me out to be the worst person on earth and that the reason why we split up is because he just doesn't love me anymore. It's really really painful... I watch the videos and do my best to not get into the bad guy role, sometimes i think it makes him even more mad because he needs to be even more dilusional to blame everything on me. He pretends to have it under control but he often doesn't come pick up the baby because he was out or comes reaking of alcohol.... I was not able to talk to him in 7 months... He refuses to talk in person. It feels like the person doesn't exist anymore, he lives in a completely different reality... And being the victim if all, while i go through all this while talking care of the baby and finances... I just feel like he will never get out of this denial... Its too painful for him to have disappointed me so much and ruined our family. It will be easier for him to just stay in denial right? And on top of that he is repeating his childhood trauma with an addicted father, he is not able to face it and come out of it.. I don't know how to help more that just trying to motivate from far... Its not easy while he is being so mean to me...
I have a friend that I love . She is a alcoholic . She is 46 and I’m 59 . She was so beautiful and hi functioning 5 years ago . She lost her marriage and $ and 3 boys . It’s hard as don’t know what to do . She says giving up tomorrow plus smoking. She killing her looks and mind . She is intelligent but can’t seem to get her crap together.
It's so painful to watch someone lose everything to addiction.
I would like to enroll into an invisible intervention. Thank you
That's great. Follow this link to learn more: www.familyrecoveryacademy.online/invisible-intervention
I knew you had all the anzwerz
I ignored my intuation when my son met his friend and his girlfriend and because of that, he now has friends that have gotten him into drugs and seduced him away from his family. Looking back, I knew it woud be bad to spend time with these kids. The probelm is that I question my intuation because we do not see the world the way it is but the way we are and so I do not want to be judging out of past experiences.
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Hi there, do you do any videos on behavioural addictions? Eg, sex.
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Would love to be a beta tester but single parent of three and I can’t afford it. I have a mom, sister and a dad who are addicts. Feel like I am completely alone in the battle to try and help them get help
Hi Jodyrn03. Thanks for checking out our videos. I see you've already watched several. How did you find them? If you'd like to shoot me an email, I'll see if I can't help you get into the beta tester group. My email is amber@hffrc.com
@@PutTheShovelDown What is the beta testing group? I would love more information about it. I have watched dozens of your videos and they have helped me so much! I have been married to my husband for over 20 years. He has struggled with addiction for more than 13. He has gotten sober and done recovery a few times but it never sticks. I fear I’m reaching the end of chances. 😔
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I need help please
what is that drink in the background?
Macken Cheese 😂 😆 🤣. That’s so funny. I saw that after I published this video and I was wondering if anyone would say anything. 😅. It’s Ice tea. Scouts honor! 🤚🏻Normally, I’m a Diet Pepsi kinda gal, but that day it was sweet tea. I don’t drink alcohol at all. 🥤
After 25 years I’ve come to realize my wife has a food addiction and wants to be comfortable all the time and didn’t want to exercise or look feminine. I was believing the lies that I was wrong for wanting her to be skinnier. I believe all this you’re explaining is correct. Whether it’s drugs or food it’s the lies that are the problem. It’s really bad. I am tired of being trapped in the lies for sure.
How do i join this " acadamy?
Hi C, Here's a link to learn more about the academy: www.familyrecoveryacademy.online/
I would LOVE to be a beta tester. Is the $97 the price for beta testing? I really can't afford that right now. You really got me on the part that says that I've been lied to.....I am really interested.
Hi Lori, shoot me an email at amber@hffrc.com and we will figure out what to do.
Hi Lori, I'm trying to do some research on how to best meet the needs of our online community, and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind chatting with me for a few minutes (it should only take about 15 min or so), to tell me a bit about your situation, what your needs are, what's helpful, what's missing, etc... If you'd be open to that, just shoot me an email at amber@hffrc.com and we can arrange a time that works for you.
Amber, I would like to be a beta tester for the invisible intervention program. I’m in California.
@@brendareed5050 Hi Brenda, That's great. We'd love to have you as a Beta tester. Here is a link to find out more about that:) www.invisibleintervention.com/invisible-intervention-online-course-sign-up/
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Are you still taking Beta testers?
Hi PAula, we sure are. There’s a link in the description of this video that will tell you more about it. Just let me know if you need any help 😃
My son is 28 I never knew he was drinking until it was too late and now he’s 28 and dying from liver failure
I feel like how did I not know how did I not see how much he was drinking I’m devastated this is my fault some how I should have known
This women leans in to every stereotype around addiction. She is manipulating your prejudice and fear to leverage agency and authority. If you are seeking help for anyone around you,my advice would be to avoid this woman;she is stoking your fear for her own relevance..you have been warned
This was a pretty useless word salad.
None of this is practical.😊
Seems strange there's a wine glass in the background table 🙄
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Thanks Stacy!
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👍, right back at ya, Kristina 😁